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* Posts by Natalie Gritpants

425 posts • joined 9 May 2007

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STRIPPED DOWN and EXPOSED: Business kit from the good old days

Natalie Gritpants

Yikes, you've stumbled into...

a terrorist cell. No way of tracking down letters from those typewriters. The bedding and gas mask is a hint as to what they were planning. Please leave the office, lock the door and report to your nearest police station.

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Asus unveils dirt-cheap Chromebox desktops with Haswell chips

Natalie Gritpants

Re: Bye ChromeOS

Is it fanless? From the small vents it looks like it's fan cooled.

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Reg snaps moment when Facebook turned air Blu: 1PB box for unloved pics

Natalie Gritpants

Keep clear of this in the data center

Looks like that front vertical section goes in and out and would probably go right across the alleyway. And it all goes into one bluray drive, hope that's a ruggedized one that can handle the load cycles.

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Margaret Hodge, PAC are scaring off new biz: Treasury source

Natalie Gritpants

Re: How about...

We already do that. It's called VAT.

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Natalie Gritpants

Re: How on earth can this happen ...

Except she has crossed the line and lost credibility. Accusing Google of being evil is ridiculous. Accusing others of immoral behaviour shows she is grandstanding as tax is not a moral issue.

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UK smut filter may have sent game patch to sin-bin

Natalie Gritpants

Re: Somehow I don't think so.....

Wessex is an idea, not a place. Just saying.

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Pint-glass-flashing FISHNAPPERS strike at Firefox daddy Mozilla

Natalie Gritpants

Fishnapper was right

"Tupac actually died" a few days after being returned. But that's OK, Mozilla got some fish back and they can now replace them. What's the half-life of a Tupac?

Suggest they get an aquarium screensaver.

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Intel shutters BRAND NEW chip factory as PC market storm rages

Natalie Gritpants

Re: Its a mess on Intel "et al's" own making...

Like you say, you don't need a more powerful PC and you don't want another five 200W PC's in your home. But you might want twenty 0.1W devices controlling your light, heat and kitchen appliances. Microsoft have dropped the ball on this progress hence the shuttered factory, maybe Google can pick up the baton (Intel have an ARM license)

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Tech titan Bill Gates: Polio-free India one of the 'most impressive accomplishments' ever

Natalie Gritpants

Re: Excellent news

Cutting the death rate of children tends to suppress the birth rate. This has happened n numerous countries at numerous times so no need to worry about the African population exploding just because Malaria is eradicated.

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Twitter: It's JUST LIKE Elder Scrolls (no it's not)

Natalie Gritpants

Re: >> Mr Dabbs, do I spot a little bit of green eyed monster?!

Yikes, I though it was called the one-eyed trouser snake. If yours is a green eyed monster you should see a doctor

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Blasphemy! Finns trample over Windows Phone home screen

Natalie Gritpants
IT Angle

"and adds a fraction of a delay (a folder opens in a couple of seconds) to your workflow"

Delays are atomic. You can have a fraction of a second or a short delay. This sounds like a long delay.

Icon for "where's the IT competence?"

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Woman whipped gun from vagina in SPACE ALIEN spat, reports Officer Zook

Natalie Gritpants

Re: Might not have an IT angle, but, you can bet 5 and 6 and James Bond would be impressed...

Bond: I must be dreaming.

FTFY

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Seagate's LaCie whips out bonkers posh silver-plated storage ball

Natalie Gritpants

Re: Photoshopped!

They had to, the photographer is a reflectopornophile as you'll see if you zoom in on the reflection in the glass vase on the window.

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How to kill trolls and influence Apple people: A patent solution

Natalie Gritpants

Loser pays

Is probably the change that would solve the most bad things but how likely is it that the US legal system will change?

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Feminist Software Foundation gets grumpy with GitHub … or does it?

Natalie Gritpants

Re: Wrong Tools

github for some, bitchhub for others, www.bitchhub.com is availiable (for about 30 seconds)

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Nominet seeks royal approval for pisspoor .uk domain name push

Natalie Gritpants

Re: ,uk ;uk 'uk

Great can't wait to register my child's domain:

robert'); drop tables dotuk; --

(http://xkcd.com/327/)

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US military's RAY-GUN truck BLASTS DRONES, mortars OUT OF THE SKY

Natalie Gritpants

Has this been tested on chrome-plated targets?

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Fisher-Price in hot seat: iPad bouncy chair lets APPLE BABYSIT tots – parents

Natalie Gritpants

Reminds me of A Clockwork Orange, just need something to keep the eyes open.

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UK.gov declares digital success as PR, food shops redefined as 'tech' businesses

Natalie Gritpants
Stop

Desperation

All companies use email so they're all internet businesses now. Except that they all have workers that commute by car so they're in the transport sector. Oh. and they have coffee machines so they're in the agricultural sector.

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Inside Steve Ballmer’s fondleslab rear-guard action

Natalie Gritpants

> Only serious weirdos eschew GUIs today.

Bless you, hope the cold gets better.

And thanks for the idea, I'm getting "serious weirdo" put on my CV.

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Quantum crypto pitches for data centre links

Natalie Gritpants

Re: Don't forget one-time-pads are secure

Simply install another link in parallel and send the OTP data from the generator to the other end. Don't forget to subtract 17 from the numbers to prevent snooping.

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Fancy knocking off early? Just run our fake computer crash 'virus', say admen

Natalie Gritpants

All fine and dandy until the screensaver kicks in

Then communicator/lync tells everyone you've gone home.

That's why you need http://movemouse.codeplex.com running before you flee.

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Lead ONTO your pencil: Bill Gates pours cash into graphene condoms

Natalie Gritpants

Re: Cancer

Who cares? It's made of graphene. Guaranteed to get you laid.

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Qatar whips covers off giant footballing vagina

Natalie Gritpants

Re: Expert on womens' genitalia

I suspect Ms. Breswell was being modest.

Anyone viewing porn will have seen hundreds of examples of both forms of undercarriage so, yes, male readers of the register probably can talk about the length and expertise of other men's penises if they could drag their concentration away from the screen.

As for recognizing your own bits, I wouldn't even know my own hands unless the picture showed the chainsaw scar on my right palm.

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Men have LARGE APPENDAGES, are OXYGEN THIEVES: Science

Natalie Gritpants

I always breath through my mouth when needing large quantities of oxygen.

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London businesses to signal UNSWERVING LOYALTY to capital with .london domain

Natalie Gritpants

Re: Which London?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/London_(disambiguation) has 13 other Londons

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HUMANITY STUNNED - Apple Retina iPad Mini arrives. A solemn moment

Natalie Gritpants

Re: Retina?

These tiny speakers have no base at all. Normal speakers have to have some base otherwise they would not stand up. Try standing an ipad up and it will fall over due to lack of base.

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Does 'Star Wars' casting call hint at DEATH of LUKE SKYWALKER?

Natalie Gritpants
WTF?

Why the requirement for smart?

Surely they're looking for actors who can play any intelligence level?

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Anonymous hacktivists' Million Mask March protest hits London

Natalie Gritpants
Facepalm

Don't tell Anon

but each of those masks has an embedded RFID tag.

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Cash-blackhole Twitter will shower itself in gold by 2015, investors told

Natalie Gritpants

Re: Once Twitter goes public.

Running at a loss is a bad idea in any century.

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HELIUM-FILLED disks lift off: You can't keep these 6TB BEASTS down

Natalie Gritpants

Re: Wouldn't a vacuum be better?

Yes, right up until the point you try to move the heads from the park position to the platters.

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Oz racehorse shod with 3D-printed titanium hoofwear

Natalie Gritpants

Re: If only someone had told them..

The front legs take about 50% more weight than the rear so maybe they race without rear shoes.

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Unsupervised Brit kids are meeting STRANGERS from the INTERNET

Natalie Gritpants

Re: Good advice

So you're saying let them have phones and tablets and just tell them stories to keep them safe? My kid is stuck with the family PC until after primary school. My kid has been trained to lie about age/sex/location as routine. Other kids may have phones etc. but they usually also have crap parenting too.

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11m Chinese engulfed by 'Airpocalypse' at 4000% of safe pollution levels

Natalie Gritpants

> 4,000 per cent as dangerous as the World Health Organization's recommendation

So those things walking around are zombies or the WHO recommendation is not particularly dangerous. "4000% of the WHO recom.." is what you meant. Sticking extra words in a sentence might make you hit your article length target but it can mess up your message.

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Now swallow: Microsoft hands out cure for Surface RT tabs killed by Win 8.1

Natalie Gritpants

Re: Serves you right

OK> Not sorry at all.

OK> Sent from my BBC model A

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Loathed wiggly-word CAPTCHAs morph into 'fun' click-'n'-drag games

Natalie Gritpants

Re: Ugg, grocer's apostrophe in that sample

I always thought it was a groce'rs apostrophy.

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Coming soon to Twitter: Inboxes BULGING with DMs from world+dog

Natalie Gritpants

Re: Eh....No!!

Keep up yourself, if she's alive she would be nine which is school age. If she's dead she's not missing.

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Oh, shoppin’ HELL: I’m in the supermarket of the DAMNED

Natalie Gritpants

Re: Thankfully

B&Q are the worst, seems that the machine is weighing the goods (which range from 20kg bags of cement powder to a 5gm pack of picture hanging pins) and complaining when it doesn't add up to the expected.

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Down with Unicode! Why 16 bits per character is a right pain in the ASCII

Natalie Gritpants

Unfortunately RDS isn't so when playing my MP3's via a personal FM transmitter I get weird characters in the track title on the car radio.

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Oracle sued over $33,000 bill for SaaS: STRIPPERS as a SERVICE

Natalie Gritpants

American Express isn't a credit card, it's a charge card and that's (one of the reasons) why lots of businesses don't accept it.

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Michael Gove: C'mon kids, quit sexting – send love poems instead

Natalie Gritpants

He should resign

Blatant use of his position in power to financially help his friends. This is getting more and more like China every day.

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First look: Apple iPhone 5S and 5C

Natalie Gritpants
Thumb Down

Pointless photo subject

A photo of printed material is only going to show how the camera reproduces the CMYK inks, That's just three colours and you can bet it will do a good job. Next time photograph a peacock or some flowers or butterflies or even a nice clean red setter if you can find one.

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Ex-CEO Elop's plunder to total $25m in voyage from Nokia to Microsoft

Natalie Gritpants
Pirate

He's an Apple mole

He'll be going to Samsung next.

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Official crackdown on Apple fanboi 'shanty town' ahead of London iPhone launch

Natalie Gritpants

Re: pathetic

And those shorts are of an unfashionable length. Shame on him.

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DARPA: You didn't think we could make a Mach 6 spaceplane, so let us have this MACH TEN job

Natalie Gritpants

Re: Basic questions for DARPA projects

To one decimal place of accuracy: 0.0%

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Life … moves … in … slow … motion … for … little … critters … like … flies

Natalie Gritpants

Kids are faster

because they carry less baggage. Emotional, intellectual and flabby. Nice research but kids don't perceive time moving more slowly otherwise the world champion at wiff waff would be six.

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WAIT! Don't you dare send that ad-spaff email without 'specific' consent

Natalie Gritpants

Death penalty for companies

We started executing people in earnest when the police and courts could no cope with the scale of crime just after the industrial revolution. We stopped when crime rates fell and we found we were executing children and innocents. We should do the same with companies.

Maybe not close the entire business but just that facet of the business that is guilty, e.g. Ban talktalk from broadband ISP for all the crap I get but not close their mobile phone operation.

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Pair of complete tits sorry for pervy app

Natalie Gritpants

You should only apologize for behaviour you can control

Otherwise it makes the apology insincere. Men stare at breasts instinctively just like I stare at well filled trousers. No point in apologizing since we will continue as long as we breathe.

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OK, forget the 3D telly fiasco: 4K is gonna blow you away - say tech giants

Natalie Gritpants

Would prefer higher framerate

I'd be quite happy with 1080p48 or 1080i96, 1080p96 would be great. Not much point having four times the pixels if it means four times as much motion blur. Doesn't involve much more bandwidth either as you can keep the I frames at the same time interval and P frames change less when they are closer in time.

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The Solar System's second-largest volcano found hiding on Earth

Natalie Gritpants

"Actually it's a mystery as to why the UK doesn't speak Dutch"

Not to me, I've been to NL. Everyone there speaks at least one other language fluently, it's their ticket out of there.

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