* Posts by Natalie Gritpants

518 posts • joined 9 May 2007

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Google tried to be funny, cocked it up, everyone thought it was a bug

Natalie Gritpants

Beware your pranks getting used against you

I once replaced the PASS and FAIL banners on a production line tester with YIPPEE and WHOOPS thinking that everyone would be mightily amused. I got in at 10am on the 1st to find that the operators had taken one look at it and had sat in the coffee area pretending to not understand what was going on - from 6am.

After that spanking I restricted myself to remotely switching on the vacuum solenoids as they were walking by, much less traceable.

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Here's a great idea: Let's make a gun that looks like a mobile phone

Natalie Gritpants

Re: "Absolutely no one can make sense of the United States' infatuation with firearms."

Just listened to a "Crossing Continents" podcast on Romanian shepherds. They have the same issues but they use dogs to fight off the wildlife (including bears). No reported cases of drive by chewings.

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Californian tycoons stole my sharing economy, says Lily Cole

Natalie Gritpants

Not sure about the tomato

but give me a drill, a mile of road and an hour of boredom and I could probably do something quite funny.

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Brit firm unleashes drone-busting net cannon

Natalie Gritpants

Meh, magpies

My friend wants one for microlights.

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BBC telly tax drops onto telly-free households. Cough up, iPlayer fans

Natalie Gritpants

Not sure why they can't put adverts on iPlayer

They could outsource it to youtube (google) if they don't want to get their hand dirty.

The ban on adverts is sensible for broadcast but iplayer is not real-time and you can pause it.

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'Boss, I've got a bug fix: Nuke the whole thing from orbit, rewrite it all'

Natalie Gritpants

Really? If your code is valuable and no-one else can compile it you have a serious barrier to redundancy.

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Send tortuous stand-up ‘nine-thirty’ meetings back to the dark ages

Natalie Gritpants

Re: 5.30 Friday is worse

Great for contractors though. I've usually done my hours by Friday 3pm so I would get to bill for an extra 3 hours of overtime. I would be splendid in that meeting and it would take hours.

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Danish Sith Lord fined in Galactic Republic rumpus

Natalie Gritpants

Re: unspecified techniques

You might think that shooting someone suspected of stealing a purse i good but I don't. I'd rather the bobby talk to the victim and any other witnesses to get a description of the perp and figure out which of the well know neredowells it was, at which point they can be arrested in their local boozer. Much more civilized.

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Pay up, Lincolnshire, or your data gets it. Systems still down after ransomware hits

Natalie Gritpants

Happened to my next door neighbour on his home computer

Only interesting thing is that he works for HMRC so here's hoping he has another go while at work.

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UK can finally 'legalise home taping' without bringing in daft new tax

Natalie Gritpants

Can I use the pirate bay now? (Do I have to buy enough USB sticks to store it all on or would an external 4TB drive suffice?)

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Hacks rebel after bosses secretly install motion sensors under desks

Natalie Gritpants

When I was at Intel

you could always tell when I was working hard - the motion sensor in the light above my desk would turn off due to me just typing and staring at the screen. The light was on when I was goofing off (nose picking, arse scratching, yawning, drinking coffee etc..

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Natalie Gritpants

Re: Moral police

I though sports bar was a euphemism for strip club.

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Intel lobs out new Core m3/m5 Compute Sticks, shouts 'Fetch!'

Natalie Gritpants

Re: Why two boxes?

Yes, I'm thinking of making a smart photo frame using a spare monitor and some cheap processor. I'll want to be able to rip CDs with it as well as download photos from the various cameras (phones) we have. Not sure a PI will have enough grunt to run cdparanoia and replaygain as well as do a nice photo screensaver. Wifi will be OK for the data speed as I'm not planning on video.

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ISPs: UK.gov should pay full costs of Snooper's Charter hardware

Natalie Gritpants

Business plan

1. Start a virtual ISP company

2. Start an ISP-customer-monitoring-cosultancy company

3. Sign up to the virtual ISP company

4. Virtual ISP co gets told by gov.uk to snoop

5. V-ISP contracts consultancy to provide snooping

6. V-ISP bills gov.uk for extremely high-cost^H^H^H^Hperformance snooping

7. profit

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Ten years in, ultra-high-def gets a standard

Natalie Gritpants

A link to the logo would have been useful.

It doesn't appear on the official announcement page either so I had to resort to google which may or may not have shown me the official logo I should look for in the shops.

"Ultra HD Premium" is confusing too, what happens if the TV I'm looking is "Ultra HD" which is what everyone on the net will be using. (I cant even type proevium)

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Aroused Lycra-clad cyclist prompts Manchester cop dragnet

Natalie Gritpants

Congrats are in order

If I were to cycle in Manchester in December in Lyrca my penis would shrink to negative length.

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Windows XP spotted on Royal Navy's spanking new aircraft carrier

Natalie Gritpants

Re: how is this news?

If it's that hard shouldn't it be possible to train someone? The documentation ought to be sorted out by now.

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Adobe: We locked our customers in the cloud and out poured money

Natalie Gritpants

Welcome to my world

Or rather my employers world. In EDA and using Synopsys, VCS, NCsim etc. They are not cloudy but they are licensed (and mighty expensive)

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NZ unfurls proposed new flag

Natalie Gritpants

Wow - flag nerd fest

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Sysadmin's £100,000 revenge after sudden sacking

Natalie Gritpants

Re: James is a dick...

Further to this - the second they stop employing you they become the competition, you will work for someone else (probably in the same market segment) and the last thing you should do is reduce your new employers chances of success by helping the ones that fired you.

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Is Kazakhstan about to man-in-the-middle diddle all of its internet traffic with dodgy root certs?

Natalie Gritpants

Just browse the web in English

If their Kazakh to English translator is anything to go by they won't have a clue what you're up to.

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'Profoundly stupid' Dubliner's hoax call lost Intel 6,000 hours of production

Natalie Gritpants

There are 3 separate fabs at Leixlip runing 24hrs/day. Each one will take days to settle after a shutdown. It's not 6000 hours of production though so I think that number is made up by multiplying the number of employees standing in the car parks by the number of hours spent standing in the car parks.

As for the motorway being blocked, it's usually partly blocked by thge odd tractor anyway.

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Aussies' distinctive Strine down to drunk forefathers

Natalie Gritpants

East anglia accents sound very similar to Austrlian

Maybe something in common. flat, boring, nothing to do but drink.

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Caption this: WIN a 6TB Western Digital Black hard drive with El Reg

Natalie Gritpants

DARPA announces contest to build a tattoo removal laser.

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Slander-as-a-service: Peeple app wants people to rate and review you – whether you like it or not

Natalie Gritpants

Time to register some premium rate mobile numbers

and slag myself off for profit

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UK's first 'DIY DAB' multiplex goes live in Brighton

Natalie Gritpants

Re: Was the picture necessary?

Quite, I just added regmedia to my Adblock filters and the world has not ended.

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Brit plods' post-TETRA radio omnishambles comes home to roost

Natalie Gritpants

Re: Jamming.

I'm sure they could find them but don't know how they'll get the police to arrest them if the police radios don't work.

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Chip chef Avago gobbles up Broadcom for $37 BEEEELLLION

Natalie Gritpants

Re: Intel will now look at ARM

The SOCs I've seen inside recently have lots of CPU cores. ARM's advantage is that it can run Android apps but you only need one core to do that and it can be a cheap one. The other cores can be Tensilica or ARC or whatever as they tend to be running custom firmware for the SOC and don't need a third party dev ecosystem to succeed. As others have said Intel already has an ARM license and will always be able to have one.

Who owns the fabs is more interesting.

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My Passport Grip Pack blooms with new colours … and more storage

Natalie Gritpants

Re: Postcard

I've just been down to B&Q. They are clearing the shelves of black paint right now.

Next is to get amazon to remove all tiny periods of silence in their entire range of music as silence is an absence of sound so technically silence is not music.

And welcome back nosegays, you're not allowed to not be able to smell anything.

Good luck next time you go to the dentist.

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That EVIL TEXT that will CRASH your iPhone: We pop the hood

Natalie Gritpants

So some good may have come of this. If it forces Apple to admit they have the technology to examine your iMessages before you do it will help people understand their relationship with Apple a little more. Not just Apple bashing, this applies to any message service.

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German watchdog rips off Facebook's thumbs after online fracas

Natalie Gritpants

Twitter et al should be covered by this too

I'm not sure if those "search this site with Google" input boxes also result in tracking without consent.

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Milking cow shot dead by police 'while trying to escape'

Natalie Gritpants

Re: Just for you townies...

2nd car picture is a classic T-bone accident.

Also in the 1st it looks like the occupants of the car would have survived.

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Swedish Supreme Court keeps AssangeTM in Little Ecuador

Natalie Gritpants

It's money well spent to keep the principles of UK law and justice alive. There is an upper limit on what it will cost: for the taxpayer the max cost will be £10m * his remaining life span; for Mr Assange the max cost is his life.

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MAID to order: Inside Facebook's cold-storage data ziggurats

Natalie Gritpants

Re: A Digital Garbage Dump

You need to think a bit more meta. Each data may be worth $0 and if you add them all up you still get $0 but their presence is not worth $0. It's the cost of doing business for Facebook. If they start deleting stuff they will be replaced by the next social media start-up that does not. I am glad they are figuring out how to minimize the power consumption, not for Facebook but for the human race.

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Flash banishes the spectre of the unrecoverable data error

Natalie Gritpants

Re: Voodoo math

Yes, I think the maths is off. My puny system should have died by now (several times over).

It's 4TB of JBOD with backups. Every Saturday morning a cron job runs an MD5 checksum over all the files. It hasn't detected any random changes in about three years. The last time it did I replaced the disk and restored form backup. With this maths I should be getting an error every three weeks.

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While AMD, Apple et al thrash around, chippery fat-cat TSMC is grinning all the way to the bank

Natalie Gritpants

Racing to 10nm

Not much point for most of their customers. Those sizes can be very hard to keep the power down and you can fit something like a PDP11 in less than a 1mm square.

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Why are enterprises being irresistibly drawn towards SSDs?

Natalie Gritpants
Boffin

Hope you have a backup system too. That you've tested recovery on.

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Newly merged Chinese taxi-hailing app now valued at $9 BEEELLION

Natalie Gritpants

I can think of a name

Kuadidi Dache

Hope I've not insulted someone's mother.

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Care.data refuseniks will be DENIED CANCER SCREENING invites

Natalie Gritpants

Re: Nothing wrong here

Downvoted you because berk is not used enough. I would like to see more uses of the word wazzock too.

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Google unveils Windows 8.1 zero-day vuln – complete with exploit code

Natalie Gritpants

Re: Good on them for releasing information about the vulnerability

Releasing the proof of concept will help the person trying to fix this bug to test if the fix is effective with the person affected. If you don't release the proof of concept there is no guarantee that the fix that is eventually provided is actually a fix since it will rely on the fixer guessing at how to provoke the bug.

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Chum's house burnt down? Facebook mulls 'DISLIKE' button for that

Natalie Gritpants

FFS

My priorities when a friend has a loss in the family is:

1) Go around and give them a hug

2) Telephone at an appropriate time

3) Write a letter

I don't see a dislike button being much use to anyone.

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The future looks bright: Prepare to be dazzled by HDR telly tech

Natalie Gritpants

"You can’t long stare out at daylight without feeling dazzled"

You need to get out more. Really out, not in the car.

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The cloud that goes puff: Seagate Central home NAS woes

Natalie Gritpants

There are two types of people who store data on computers

Those that have lost data and those that are going to lose data.

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Intel 'underestimates error bounds by 1.3 QUINTILLION'

Natalie Gritpants

God, keep me from harm and working on FPUs

The problem lies in guys like me having to make transistors give you an answer in a small amount of time and guys like him expecting results regardless of how long it would take. Intel have now sensibly fixed the documentation to explain what really happens.

Intel's PI is 66 bits and Bruce is asking for sin(0.0000001) where the number of zeroes is about 80 bits. Not suprisingly the answer is correct to 0.000001 (65 bits of zero) but huge relative to 0.00001(80 bits of zero)

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Natalie Gritpants

Re: Ulp!

Well, it would have been made of wood since he is a carpenter. No problem adjusting wood to fit. Might have been more useful too.

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Vanished blog posts? Enterprise gaps? Welcome to Windows 10

Natalie Gritpants

Could we have some screenshots on a widescreen monitor

Can you have the taskbar on the side?

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A moment of brilliance? UPnP for Internet of Stuff lightbulbs

Natalie Gritpants

Re: Making things simple

Don't get too smug, you will have bugs in there.

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Hey Brit taxpayers. You just spent £4m on Central London ‘innovation playground’

Natalie Gritpants

Thay can meaningful;yy engage with me anytime

£100k and I'll say whatever they want.

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How the FLAC do I tell MP3s from lossless audio?

Natalie Gritpants

Re: "I spent a few months ripping and selling off all my CDs."

You mean pirating.

Seriously, if you sell the music you paid for you should no longer listen to it. (morally or legally)

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EMC, HP blockbuster Borg: Big potential or total CATASTROPHE?

Natalie Gritpants

HP going for the record in writedowns

Maybe you can't writedown a merger, but that $8b Autonomy is looking shaky if this happens.

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