* Posts by Natalie Gritpants

516 posts • joined 9 May 2007

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Rivals' keyword marketing activity censured by High Court

Natalie Gritpants

Wisdom of Solomon is required here

Both companies to be wound up for prattishness and "Victoria[n] Plum[b[ing]]" removed from available trademarks

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Drops the mic... Hang on, hackers could be listening through my headphones?

Natalie Gritpants

Re: I think I'll just.....

Don't do that, your health insurance provider will work out how much coffee you drink.

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Emulating x86: Microsoft builds granny flat into Windows 10

Natalie Gritpants

Re: Put an x86 processor in the dock?

Yes, very sensible, except for licensing. Do you add a license cost to each dock in which case it may as well be a PC with a USB cable to access to phone data? If not then there is nothing stopping you buying a cheap windows phone and running Exchange Pro-Annihilator on the dock with no license payable.

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User needed 40-minute lesson in turning it off and turning it on again

Natalie Gritpants

On stuff that old the colour of an LED is usually visible, the prompt is probably burnt into the CRT phosphor. flashing I can't explain, maybe he was blinking.

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Security bods find Android phoning home. Home being China

Natalie Gritpants

I just tried "Show pictures of me Percy"

and got quite a surprise. Well done Google. Some of those photos weren't even taken by me and I can't remember it happening but hey, the camera never lies.

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NHS IT bod sends test email to 850k users – and then responses are sent 'reply all'

Natalie Gritpants

Re: Only 70 or 80 people

Thiose 70 are the ones who's reply-all have gone through, the other 10000 are sitting in outboxes waiting for the email server to come back on line.

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Accessories to crime: Facial recog defeated by wacky paper glasses

Natalie Gritpants

I knew these two were terrorists

Timmy Mallet and Edna Evarage

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Pluck-filled platter-stuff: Bold disk drive makers fatten up

Natalie Gritpants

> If so, then why not have a horizontal spindle 6" long with platter diameter between than in a 2.5" and 3.5" drive.

Because the PC will literally fall over when it spins up.

I had a V8 Rover P6 with soggy suspension. It used to rock side to side when you revved it.

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Vatican and musicians at odds over appropriate use of crematorium leftovers

Natalie Gritpants

Re: Who the hell...

Interesting that you believe in hell. Just saying.

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And so we enter day seven of King's College London major IT outage

Natalie Gritpants

Re: Many years ago...

I was there and heard the same story though never experienced it. Also jobs were submitted by undergrads on wads of punched cards (two elastic bands were the equivalent of raid5 and the smart ones drew a diagonal line in felt tip on the edge of the stack for fast recovery). Anyway the story was that you could stick several copies of the offending instruction in your stack and each one would cause a crash. Apparently there was no way to remove cards from the machine once they had got that far in.

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AI software should be able to register its own patents, law prof argues

Natalie Gritpants

Great idea

I have been worried about what happens if the clever machines decide to declare war on humanity and this seems a great way to make sure the machines are forever busy fighting themselves in an endless and growing internal fight. It's worked well for people too - most psychopaths are now busy being patent lawyers although there are a few that are still roaming around as CEOs that need to be rounded up.

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The exploding Note 7 is no surprise – leaked Samsung doc highlights toxic internal culture

Natalie Gritpants

excretes?

Obviously a very advanced being, most humans are still stuck with typing out non-functioning kernel releases full of buffer overflow and use-after-free exploits

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Early indications show UK favouring 'hard Brexit', says expert

Natalie Gritpants

Re: "Great Repeal Bill"

> After all, I'm a living ancestor of all my great-great-great-great-great-grandparents

You could make a fortune selling rides on that time machine of yours.

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Edinburgh University to flog its supercomputer for £0.0369 per core hour

Natalie Gritpants

So by reckoning if you use all the cores it's £7,439.04 per hour. It will have paid for itself in 134 hours (just over a week). Doesn't sound like a bargain.

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What a time to be alive: Nissan reveals self-driving chair

Natalie Gritpants

Bit jerky

Not the vid, the chairs. Do they work when running on coffee splattered floors?

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Revealed: The true horror of being a big CEO

Natalie Gritpants

Up at 4:30, neither eats nor drinks

He'll be so dehydrated and sleep deprived it is a good thing he only concentrates on sales and operations, imaging the damage if he was in charge of product design.

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Lethal 4-hour-erection-causing spiders spill out of bunch of ASDA bananas

Natalie Gritpants

Re: OK time for some logic-based thinking...

Traffic deaths are decreasing: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reported_Road_Casualties_Great_Britain#/media/File:Killed_on_British_Roads.png and that's with traffic and population increasing. Must be all those speed cameras :-) or could it be Kevlar brake pads, radial tyres, jelly-mold car fronts and better road design?

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British Gas wins pre-paid smart meter patent lawsuit

Natalie Gritpants

Patent values

Interesting how the value of the patent varied so much, just goes to show that value is speculative until the item is sold (or scrapped for zero as this was). There must have been some Dr Evil moments in the board room as they came up with this.

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Ofcom punts network-sniffing Android app

Natalie Gritpants

It's called "Ofcom Mobile Research"

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She cannae take it, Captain Kirk! USS Zumwalt breaks down

Natalie Gritpants

Re: Displaced, by gad.

Understandable, fishing weights are damn sexy.

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Three outsources staff to Capita

Natalie Gritpants

£155k per body

The vampires at Capita must be hungry if they'll pay that much.

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Spoiler alert: What Oracle is going to announce today

Natalie Gritpants

I came here expecting some droll comments

but it seems like the article is not satire. My mistake.

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Swedish appeals court upholds arrest warrant for Julian Assange

Natalie Gritpants

If he is ever dissapeared

no one will care, just assume it's yet more publicity seeking

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Great British Great Bake Off gets new judge

Natalie Gritpants

From a week or so ago

"Could you hold my jugs"

"Let's all eat the carpet"

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WhatsApp, Apple and a hidden source code F-bomb: THE TRUTH

Natalie Gritpants

So many dicks in this comment section

All of them convinced they will never have to debug their code because they write it "correctly".

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Hollywood offers Daniel Craig $150m to (slash wrists) play James Bond

Natalie Gritpants

Gina Carano

Frightened me in Haywire

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Our pacemakers are totally secure, says short-sold St Jude

Natalie Gritpants

Who wins, who loses?

Some shareholders have sold at lower than they would have - losers

The short selling parasites have made some money - winners

Medsec have blown their reputation for a scummy deal - total losers

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Having offended everyone else in the world, Linus Torvalds calls own lawyers a 'nasty festering disease'

Natalie Gritpants

Re: So, to sum up...

Wasps taught humans how to make cheap paper, they get a free ride forever for that.

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HMRC's IR35 tweaks have 90% of UK's IT contractors up in arms

Natalie Gritpants

This is for contractors to public sector emplyees

so basically any tax paid by the contractor is a refund on what the taxpayer pays them. It really doesn't matter how you figure out the intermediate numbers the only thing is the take home pay of the contractor comes from the taxpayer. If this forces the contractors to raise rates to maintain their take home pay then the whole thing is for nothing.

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Natalie Gritpants

Re: Why only IT?

only tax stupid people? Yes, there are a lot of them and they don't fight back.

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Tesla autopilot driver 'was speeding' moments before death – prelim report

Natalie Gritpants

Re: Bar none

No need to ban white trucks just ban matching sides and tyres. The lorry in question has big black tyres, no sure how the car sensors missed them. Pretty sure the victim missed them because he wasn't looking.

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Cats, dogs starve as web-connected chow chute PetNet plays dead

Natalie Gritpants

Re: Another negative for IoT

No doubt there is a processor of some sorts in there. It's program hasn't been designed well. personally I'd have it keep the schedule locally but allow remote updates and a time sync service in case the power goes off. Oh and a motion activated so the internets can see which of the neighbours cats is in your kitchen.

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Yahoo! She said yes. Verizon confirms $4.8bn acquisition

Natalie Gritpants

Re: Dear Ms Marissa Meyer

Think she changed the font, or the angle of the !

Either way a fine piece of work and worth every penny to Verizon.

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Seagate in 10TB drive brand brainstorm

Natalie Gritpants

---

Should have gone with Baccaruda

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GMB tests Uber 'self-employed drivers' claim at London tribunal

Natalie Gritpants

Re: SIC 62090 - Other information technology service activities

The flat rate scheme is based on turnover.

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Blighty's Coastguard goes into battle against waterborne Pokemon

Natalie Gritpants

They are on Weston-super-Mare beach

You know, the one with the massive tidal range with waist deep sticky mud exposed at low tide. I'm sure it is a place of interest as several people have died after trying to walk to the water at low tide. If you get stuck and are noticed you may survive as the local coast guard now has a hovercraft but you will have to wait for the water to get deep enough for them to lift you out.

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Botnet-powered ballot stuffing suspected in 2nd referendum petition

Natalie Gritpants

useful jargon

It's called a neverendum. The Irish only escaped theirs by voting the way the government wanted them to.

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Late night smartphone use makes women go blind

Natalie Gritpants

Can't use both eyes

When I lie on my side the fluffy pillow blocks the bottom eye. If I kept it open it would hurt.

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Wales gives anti-vaping Blockleiters a Big Red Panic Button

Natalie Gritpants

No need for a vegan button

Just hit the vegan, they'll take a week to get upright so no risk of a confrontation.

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Swiss effectively disappear Alps: World's largest tunnel opens

Natalie Gritpants

Re: Swiss efficiency

It is under a mountain i.e. nobody's back yard.

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One ad-free day: Three UK to block adverts across network in June

Natalie Gritpants

Well, if the blocking is by a large operator they are going to notice a massive drop in traffic and probably back down.

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BBC post-Savile culture change means staff can 'speak truth to power'

Natalie Gritpants

Not sure I want MyBBC

Sure you can't categorize the internet like Alta-Vista used to and so we have Google et al inveigling themselves into your life to give you the kitten videos you want.

But the BBC's material is not so vast that it can't be categorized. If I want celebrity bell ringing competitions I'll know where to look.

Also if they just open the website to the robots Google will probably do a better job of finding relevant stuff for free.

There, saved you £75m. I'll have my pound back please.

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Radiohead vid prompts Trumpton rumpus

Natalie Gritpants

Re: Drunk on cider in charge of a windmill

And it wasn't Britt Ekland

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Reduced roaming charges, net neutrality come into force in EU

Natalie Gritpants

Re: Bloody EU!

Sorry, lost all ability to concentrate at Italian girlfriend

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Ex-HP boss Carly Fiorina sacked one week into new job

Natalie Gritpants

Question for language geeks

Can you foreclose a path?

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It's World IP Day! Celebrate by making money from a dead teenager

Natalie Gritpants

Not to be picky but Anne Frank didn't have any descendants or dependants when she died. If she hadn't died the diary may not have been published or may not have made any money.

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US bus passenger cracks one off for three hours

Natalie Gritpants

Re: The IT angle?

Is that you bro?

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Google tried to be funny, cocked it up, everyone thought it was a bug

Natalie Gritpants

Beware your pranks getting used against you

I once replaced the PASS and FAIL banners on a production line tester with YIPPEE and WHOOPS thinking that everyone would be mightily amused. I got in at 10am on the 1st to find that the operators had taken one look at it and had sat in the coffee area pretending to not understand what was going on - from 6am.

After that spanking I restricted myself to remotely switching on the vacuum solenoids as they were walking by, much less traceable.

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Here's a great idea: Let's make a gun that looks like a mobile phone

Natalie Gritpants

Re: "Absolutely no one can make sense of the United States' infatuation with firearms."

Just listened to a "Crossing Continents" podcast on Romanian shepherds. They have the same issues but they use dogs to fight off the wildlife (including bears). No reported cases of drive by chewings.

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