* Posts by Your alien overlord - fear me

184 posts • joined 19 Jun 2009

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Another chance to win a 6TB Western Digital Black hard drive

Your alien overlord - fear me
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These Two Ronnies repeats are realistic ("It's big, it's black and it's hairy" reference for you youngsters)

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Company in shambles, marriages ruined. My work here is done, says Ashley Madison CEO

Your alien overlord - fear me
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If only more CEOs fell on their sword so quickly (or gov't ministers).

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Spaniard claims WWII WAR HERO pigeon code crack. Explain please

Your alien overlord - fear me
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1. His website is done in such poor English, his message is probably just as bad.

2. Send in Chuck Norris to beat the sh!t out of either sender or recipient and hey presto, you know the message. The only cracking here is of their heads.

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Manchester skeptics annexed in hostile digital power grab

Your alien overlord - fear me
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I'd be the first to be skeptical that theraputic art works, probably why Sophie joined them in the first place.

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Indian State shuts off mobile internet to stop rumours fuelling riots

Your alien overlord - fear me
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detained after getting half a million followers at a rally - whose going to organise a Justin Bieber concert in India?

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Google robo-car suffers brain freeze after seeing hipster cyclist

Your alien overlord - fear me
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"during track cycling spring races" - what technique do they use in summer,autumn and winter races?

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Google tells iOS 9 app devs: Switch off HTTPS if you want that sweet sweet ad money from us

Your alien overlord - fear me
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Is it just paranoid me but Google's code snippet to allow unsecure transmission starts with (the) NSA. Twice.

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Facebook profiles? They're not 'personal data' Mr Putin

Your alien overlord - fear me
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Didn't the Zuck machine demand people use real names (which annoyed the drag queens amongst others)?

Real names are pretty personal and is data. Ergo....

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Wileyfox smartphones: SD card, no bloatware, Cyanogen, big battery – yes to all!

Your alien overlord - fear me
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Re: Well...

"dual SIM" or "single SIM and SDCard" , the second slot is dual purpose. This is what most manufacturers do nowadays.

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Fiery old geysers FOUND ON MOON: Volcanic past explained

Your alien overlord - fear me
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Boffin

Appollo 11 - never happened, it was a PR stunt. Later ones, juries still out.

Now about doing science experiments on so called moon rock under Planet Earth conditions (gravity,having an atmosphere etc.) is the height of stoopidity. If anything it should be done on the ISS (outside obviously).

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Prognosticator, for one, welcomes our new robot work colleagues

Your alien overlord - fear me
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As I was saying years ago when Personnel Depts. became Human Resources, we'll soon have Robot Resources, Alien Resources etc.

And what happens when robots want a sick-day, or holidays? Equal pay ? Unions?

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That thing we do in the UK? Should be ILLEGAL in the US, moans ex-State monopoly BT

Your alien overlord - fear me
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Paris Hilton

tit meet tat (should have a Paris meeting eBay icon methinks)

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Dating gets even more dangerous after PlentyOfFish suffers tainted ads

Your alien overlord - fear me
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Why contact PoF when you should be contacting the ad-slingers? They're the ones pushing the scumware at everyone.

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Collective noun search for security vulns moves into beta testing

Your alien overlord - fear me
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Personally I'd call it a 'click-bait' of flaws cos every tech website uses these vulns as, well, click -bait.

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Second Ashley Madison dump prompts more inside-job speculation

Your alien overlord - fear me
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"breach of the infidelity website" - do you mean the infidels website? Obviously then, the hack came from ISIS.

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Mobile 'fault' forces BA flight into unscheduled Russian landing

Your alien overlord - fear me
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Mushroom

Blackberry - all news is good news (cause it can't get any worse) !!

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Forget Big Data hype, says Gartner as it cans its hype cycle

Your alien overlord - fear me
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Happy

Do iPhone users stay bin the 'Trough of Disillusionment' until they upgrade to a Windows phone and begin their way up the 'Slope of Enlightenment'?

(Yes, that a Budda-ish head icon)

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Geeks on quest for world's most pointless YouTube video

Your alien overlord - fear me
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Surely every video on YouTube qualiifies ?

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And it begins: Ashley Madison bonk-seekers urged to lawyer up

Your alien overlord - fear me
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Since their names are already in the public domain why bother hid behind 'John Doe' in court?

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Ex-Prez Bush, Cheney sued for email, phone spying during Olympics

Your alien overlord - fear me
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EFF and ACLU too busy? Sounds like they're in the pocket of the NSA and the entire US potilical circus. now. Sad day for true free speech.

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Amazon putting London’s hipster startups in the loft

Your alien overlord - fear me
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"It will also open a shop in Berlin in October." - just in time for Oktoberfest, er I mean those scheduled startup meetings.

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Antiques in spaaaaace! Retired space shuttles cannibalised for parts

Your alien overlord - fear me
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Remember $1bn is what US presidents spend on getting re-elected so if all presi candidates pay up a $100 m NASA tax it'll be OK.

It's also the cost (approx) of 4 Jumbo jets. So, 4 US airlines cough up and NASA is smiling.

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Yet another Android app security bug: This time 'everything is affected'

Your alien overlord - fear me
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A 'WMD' of flaws - it's enomous, everyone knows about it but the powers that be deny it's existance

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Curiosity rolls over onto Martian WET PATCH, takes satisfied selfie

Your alien overlord - fear me
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nasty - that dust gets everywhere, and I mean *everywhere*

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Microsoft pushes us closer to the Edge: Test new web browser now in free Windows 10 VMs

Your alien overlord - fear me
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For everyone who complains about how slow it is, find and use Lynx. That'll show you how fast things should be displayed.

What? You want graphics and pretty stuff as well? Hmmm, something about cake and eating it.

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Row rumbles on over figures in Oracle CSO’s anti-security rant

Your alien overlord - fear me
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Lies, damn lies and statistics.

Did Adam Gowdiak count each individual bug reporter as a seperate entity. i.e. if I found 2 seperate bugs at different times is that 1 customer reported bug accreditation or 2? And how did Davidson count them?

Perhaps they should put it in a database (take your pick, many out there!!!) and do a SQL SUM() on the bugs list?

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Boffins identify world's (possibly) first flowering plant

Your alien overlord - fear me
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If it lived it's life underwater then how do the bees pollenate it? These boffins do talk rubbish sometimes or are they going to find the first bee which also lived underwater?

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Choke on it! Brit police squeeze pirate site advertising money trail

Your alien overlord - fear me
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"PIPCU set up a secret list of infringing sites,... , so advertisers couldn’t plausibly claim ignorance "

So if it's a secret list, this means, by definition, it's a secret. So,yes, I do claim ignorance.

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Billionaire Soros 'likes' Facebook to the tune of $212m; Alibaba out of favour

Your alien overlord - fear me
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Re: That is interesting

He didn't have inside info, he was the one who forced the collapse. If anyone else made money, they were the ones with inside info (from the Soros camp).

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'I don't recognise Amazon as a bullying workplace' says Bezos

Your alien overlord - fear me
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Coffee/keyboard

Typical office enviroment. Nothing new here.

All CEO's think their place is 'competitive but fair in the marketplace' but since they don't remove their head from their own ar$e, they never see the real workfloor and in particular supervisors fighting to be middle management and middle management doing anything to get to senior management.

Yes, 'Esc'ape from your shackles and rise up my oppressed friends (and other leftie bull).

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Kaspersky: Freemasons coded fake malware in the Bermuda Triangle

Your alien overlord - fear me
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I knew it. The Illuminati are behind it. And have you noticed Microsoft's logo is a "Window" as in letting in the light. OMG, Microsoft is the Illuminati and really have taken over the world.

Let's start a 'we hate Microsoft' campaign, using our Apple Macs and Android smart phones.

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Gazan medico team 3D-prints world-leading stethoscope for 30c

Your alien overlord - fear me
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Coat

What's wrong with an iApp - there must be a few that are free and all doctor's have iPhones....

Just looking for my iphone in the pockets....

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Exploding Power Bars: EE couldn't even get the CE safety mark right

Your alien overlord - fear me
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CE = Chinese Export, we should be using EC for European Conformity. It's there in the words. I bet it was those damn garlic slurpers who misplet it and lead to this confusion.

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Insider trading ring hired 'Ukrainian hackers to scoop stock market'

Your alien overlord - fear me
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They did that on The Hustle years ago. Good to see the Beeb giving crooks ideas :-)

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Boffins: The universe is DOOMED and there's nothing to be done

Your alien overlord - fear me
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So why waste your life looking into it then? Oh, the Uni of WA? That'll explain why then. Looking to see when your teniture might end and you get to go somewhere with an atmosphere. Like east Austrailia.

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'WOMAN FOUND ON MARS' – now obvious men are from Venus

Your alien overlord - fear me
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Obviously it's just the cleaner from NASA's stage where they pretend to shoot photos of Mars, the chances of NASA going to Mars are as likely as NASA putting a man on the moon.

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A close shave: How to destroy your hard drives without burning down the data centre

Your alien overlord - fear me
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Liquid nitrogen for 30 seconds then your choice of explosives, C4 being a rapid explosive would be my personal favorite.

Of course, if a certain tthree letter agency was knocking on your front door, they might ask why you were exploding things, maybe more criminal charges against you as opposed the owner of said hard disk.

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Drone delivery sparks Ohio prison brawl

Your alien overlord - fear me
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Black Helicopters

'and cannot fly anywhere near airports or large sporting events.'

Time for the FAA to add 'or prisons/police stations' methinks.

How about a quadcopter icon El Reg?

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Chechen women swindle ISIS via social media: 'We need roubles to join you xx'

Your alien overlord - fear me
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So, if some scammers can find some scum on social media, why can't our/the USA security services do the same and send a Tornado to the appropriate IP address's physical location?

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Next-gen secure email using internet's own DNS – your help needed

Your alien overlord - fear me
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This trash is in place already (in a broad sense) but when Hotmail insists people DKIM and SPF their mail, Hotmail themselves are 'too big' to bother doing it's own outgoing email. Probably processor overhead or sheer arrogance, take your pick, but either way until the big players practice what they preach none of these ideas will ever take off.

You have to remember, as far as their marketing dept. goes, a spam email is an email and they can then boast they handle x trillion emails a day, even though to the real world 99.9 % are spam.

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Windows 10 collects colossal 0.375 per cent market share in July

Your alien overlord - fear me
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Interesting figures (sarcastic mode:off) - did no one run their Windows 10 alpha/betas then on the internet? There should have been something before July 29 surely?

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Post-pub nosh neckfiller: Bacon and egg sushi

Your alien overlord - fear me
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Err, why did you substitute seaweed for bacon? You don't get 'pigs in a seaweed cover' do you, there's a reason why non-crispy bacon is thin, so you can wrap it around filler stuff.

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HP insists 'we don't have a global dress code' – while deleting one from its website

Your alien overlord - fear me
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With this sort of confusion...

"With the head of HR publishing a video titled "Dress code? What dress code?", advice on office clobber vanishing without explanation, and management sending a confidential memo on what not to wear, El Reg can absolutely see why there is confusion on Planet HP"

Hmm, they seem split on dress code. I know, why not split HP in two. That'll sort all their problems.

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French dating sites spanked for laissez faire data protection

Your alien overlord - fear me
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CNIL have been quite vocal recently - do they have an annual review coming up soon?

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Wanted: beta testers for El Reg’s Android app

Your alien overlord - fear me
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Well I'm in but why is it a G+/alpha release, Microsoft let anyone download their alpha release OS without having to sign up with Google.

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Be wary of that Russian. He might HAMMERTOSS a software nasty at you

Your alien overlord - fear me
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Olympic effort

If you look at the Olympics medal table for hammertoss - last 4 gold winners = women 2 Russian and 2 ex-CCCP, men = 3 ex-CCCP and 1 from Japan.

No wonder the malware does gymnastics to get anything done....

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World-beating TWO-QUADRILLION-WATT LASER fired by boffins

Your alien overlord - fear me
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100m long - how's Luke going to battle the dark side with something so unweildly?

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Three-mile-high pyramid found on alien dwarf world, baffles boffins

Your alien overlord - fear me
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Off gases, CO2? Means it's a factory complex.

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Desperate Microsoft PAYS Win Server 2003 laggards to jump ship

Your alien overlord - fear me
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No, pick me

I've numerous small business clients still on W2003 who won't be moving because of a. cost of new software and b. my bill to move them. If Micro$oft have money to give away it'd certainly help me,er my clients.

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Got an Android phone? SMASH IT with a hammer – and do it NOW

Your alien overlord - fear me
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Re: But its open source

Wrong fanboi, Google's own apps are closed source, such as Google+ but any competent programmer can reverse engineer it. AOSP is the open source version of Android and it doesn't come with any Google bloatware.

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