557 posts • joined 19 Jun 2009
Re: Cunt Dracula
Just think of Vlad the Impaler and what he did. Less blood, though.
NSA vs Apple + Google
Now this would be an interesting battle.
Whose will would be dominant?
Is Big Business bigger than the Government?
It takes guts to say Jesus
I miss the fake virus warnings from the turn of the millenium. It was always good to read what Microsoft, IBM and AOL had posted that morning and what incredible damage the virus would do once you opened the e-mail.
If you receive an email titled: "It Takes Guts to Say Jesus"
DO NOT OPEN IT. It will erase everything on your hard drive.
This information was announced yesterday morning from IBM; AOL states that
this is a very dangerous virus, much worse than "Melissa," and that there is NO Remedy for it at this time.
Some very sick individual has succeeded in using the reformat function from
Norton Utilities causing it to completely erase all documents on the hard
It has been designed to work with Netscape Navigator and Microsoft Internet
Explorer. It destroys Macintosh and IBM compatible computers.
This is a new, very malicious virus and not many people know about it. Pass
this warning along to EVERYONE in your address book ! and please share it
with all your online friends ASAP so that this threat maybe stopped.
Please practice cautionary measures and tell anyone that may have access to
your computer. Forward this warning to everyone that you know that might
access the Internet.
Re: "a statistically quite small group of people"
Bodyless John Brown» The real problem is that they asked men to be honest about how much sex they get.
The Onion, my news source of choice, covered this recently:
Teen Boys Losing Virginity Earlier And Earlier, Report Teen Boys
The names of all of these hotspots are surely recorded in the airport and kept in a database somewhere. I hope that the application or stored procedure validates the hotspot name properly, otherwise some fellow or gal with a hotspot name like Bob'); drop table HotSpots;-- would cause havoc with their systems. But then I'm sure that they often take backups, as we all are supposed to do.
When is the film coming out
This would make a great film (in the Sharknado sense rather than the Raging Bull sense of the term). A sort of trashy Jaws — Hai Fisch! or something along those lines.
Would the Nazis in the submarine be the good guys or the baddies, or maybe just the less bad-ass guys? Allowing for some historical revisionism, we could have the real reason why Megaladon went extinct, why the Third Reich really collapsed and how the American really won the Battle of Midway. In fact, this film should be able to let pupils gain such an altered version of the past that they'll be failing history, biology and politics exams for years to come.
Re: There is no such thing as AQ
Hmmm. I think that you are wrong.
On the evening of September 11, I remember colleagues in the pub surmising that Al Qaeda were to blame. My guess is that Al Qaeda groups were not organised in the same way, say, that the IRA was organised.
I'll have to go watch said documentary though.
The NSA vs Ebola, IS etc.
The NSA is a chronic problem for us all and, for most of us not an acute problem. God help us should NSA and friends become an acute problem and the spectre of 1984 becomes reality.
Ebola and IS are very acute problems for some and, for most of us not an acute problem. Like the NSA and friends, they have the potential to make the lives of all of us a misery (and short at that).
Re: On a similar note.....
Here's a link to FU.
Re: Picking the nit...
It's the difference between quality and quantity, if I remember my WWII history correctly.
'Scold' is such a lovely word. I have heard it used in a long while. It brings back memories of wicked masters scolding miserable slaves in Latin class.
On being slowly boiled alive with video standards
Most people who use Windows XP are happy with it. In their opinion, it is good enough for them. It's a security nightmare, but that is another problem.
Most people who have a DVD-player and a DVD collection are happy with it. The quality is not at all bad, even on big screens. They have forked out once to have their video collection replaced by DVDs and the last thing that they want to do is to replace the whole bloody lot with 4K.
The entire industry has to leave a gap with technology so that one can appreciate the leap. Blu-ray was a mistake because it came too soon after the introduction of DVD. We are being metaphorically boiled alive in video standards. Now, DVD was so measurely better than VHS that moving up to DVD was an obvious thing to do (what the leftpondians refer to as a 'no-brainer'). Likewise 4K has to be so much better than DVD that upgrading is worth their while, rather than just worth the industry's while.
It seems to me that the likes of NetFlix and video-streaming is the way that people have chosen. Consumers pay a regular fee (not often, just regularly) and get whatever standard they wish. No need to replace the DVD collection because it is all available online. If they want to buy a new 4K telly, then let them do that.
4K in 1993
I remember 1993. Powerful machines then had, maybe, 64MB of RAM and a 40MHz 68040 Motorola processor or a 33MHz 486. High-end machines could hold around 128MB which cost more than the computer running it. High-end hard drives were in the 1-4GB range. Put 10 4GB drives in a RAID-5 and get 36GB space.Added to that is the fact that 16-bit SCSI hadn't yet been introduced.
How in Heaven's name did they manage to digitize a move like 'Snow White' in 4K? I can see why they didn't keep it. You need a lot of DLT tapes to keep a 100GB+ file for machines that came with 160MB hard drives.
Re: 4 billion year old zircons?
Fool! They were planted there to test you.
Now Hell (or Hades, in this case) awaits you along with the Fake Christians, Abortionists, Jesus Mockers, Rebellious Women, Muslims, Disobedient Children, Masturbators, Sport Nuts, The Prideful, Hypocrites, Buddhists, Good People, thieves, Inventors of evil, Homosexuals, Party Animals, Idolators, Adulterers, Liars, Anarchists, Catholics, Murderers, Atheists, Pornofreaks, Liberals, Satanists, Cowards, False Teachers, Hindus and Money Lovers.
The gun nuts are missing, but I suspect that the committee who drew up the contents of this wonderful poster reckoned that they would be covered by 'The Prideful'
All-Caps are annoying
I have a favour to ask of you: Would you please cut down on the use of all-caps please?
Apart from the fact that it is very annoying to read, it also has the unpleasant effect of giving one the impression that you are mentally unbalanced.
September 11, 2001
Wasn't it a windfall for the various spying agencies that, after a couple of weeks' training in Texas, those 19 Saudis were able to learn to fly commercial aircraft well enough that they were able to hit two skyscrapers?
Without their successful attack, President Bush would have received much more resistance when signing PRISM into force, Congress would have debated the massive sums demanded by aforementioned spying agencies and we all might have been aware earlier of their plans.
And furthermore, anyone who doesn't tow the official line is derided as a 'conspiracy nut' and belittled, partly because those who follow conspiracies don't do themselves or their causes any favours. Oh well, the War on Terror® has been, for some, a great success.
Re: Smart meters are great
The person featured is a real customer and has received a gratuity for appearing in this commercial.
Re: Not Paul the Octopus
The cube (like the Macintosh and the Mac 512K) was great if you didn't live in a hot country, and was, like many other Apple products, horribly overpriced. I would've loved to have one. In the end, I upgraded my Performa 6400.
Re: If Steve wanted it...
LucreLout» However, Apple don't innovate - they never did. What Apple excelled at was looking at tech which hadn't caught on, could be significantly slicker, easier to use, and prettier, and they rebuilt that.
Which of these products were widely available and used before Apple got their greedy paws on them?
• Expandable & affordable personal computer (Apple ][)
• GUI (Lisa & Macintosh)
• Laser Printer with PostScript
• Personal Digital Assistant (Newton)
• 32-bit OS in a home computer (Mac OS 7 onwards)
• USB (iMac onwards)
• very light powerful laptops (MacBook Air — although I do prefer Netbooks)
• really small computers (Mac Mini)
That's not a bad list for innovation.
Esteemed Author» Therefore, you know the methane is being replenished. The best way to replenish methane in the presence of oxygen is with life.”
Is a geological source of methane also not likely?
Every year the same thing
Suggestion for El Reg:
Create a scheduled article. It just needs the launch date, current iOS version and current Mac OS as parameters.
'Apple launched iPhone x+1 today and fans have been queuing since last week to get the first glimpse. Star designer Jonathan Ive stated that by staying different they were staying the same. The Apple community were also impressed by the new version of Mac OS X y+1. It's our most stable release yet said Apple CEO Tim Cook in his understated way.'
The same scheduled article could also fill in the first 120 responses to save the outraged and overjoyed readers from their predictable response. For a bit of variation, you could activate YouTube-Response mode, which would include appalling grammar, lamentable spelling, blatant name-calling, some racism (for good measure) and the same answer 100 times to the simple question asked as well as overall lack of respect for one another.
That's crazy talk
Subhead» Hide your iPads, folks
*Everyone* knows that Apple products don't get viruses and tings because they are shiny and happy.
You are just doing this to stir up trouble, aren't you?
Re: When Your Opponent Refuses Reason....Resort to Ridicule
Self praise is no praise?
New helpful prefixes for El Reg
I think only fair that we get more helpful prefixes along the lines mentioned in the article at El Reg.
[Real actual news]
[Wanton celeb gossip]
[Gossip about wanton celebs]
[Probably real, actual news but we can't agree]
[It's really happening, Reg, it's actually happening!! (Scream in frustration)]
[Apparently satire actually scathing social commentary]
[News fit for pinko commies]
[News fit for rightwing bastards]
[News approved of by the 1%]
and so on
In passing I would like to say, that as a teenager, I found the warning labels on CDs and videos very helpful when it came to making purchasing decisions. I never thought I'd approve of the American Moral Majority, but they saved me a lot of time when it came to looking for the sort of stuff that 16 year olds look for.
HP would want to be careful. Apple already has prior art on laptops bursting into their flames with their much maligned Powerbook 5300 series.
That being said, poorly engineered power cables trumps poorly engineered batteries when it comes to computer companies (and Apple was a computer company back then).
Re: Not just me then?
The ignored, perceived insignificant and the invisible look very alike too. It is the plot of many a book and film where the protagonist is able to wander where (s)he will on account of their ignored status.
The author of this book could also have asked the many women in their 50's who complain that they are more or less invisible as to how it feels to be treated as (to all intents and purposes) not there.
But then again, when it comes to decision-making on important technical matters, many technies might as well be invisible to those who are more easily swayed by the likes of Gartner and other accountants.
Re: The "LAW"
There is no justice, just us...
Re: Police would definitely use that information against them if they got the chance
Indeed, Jasper, I suggest that you get yourself a t-shirt with the logo 'foreign-looking gentleman' printed upon one side.
The link is here, btw: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BO8EpfyCG2Y
AC» Really? You are a moron.
Sir (or possibly Madam *)
If you are going to call people morons, would you at least misspell it properly please?
There should be an 'a' in there somewhere.
* Is there an accepted greeting for asexuals, other-sexuals as well as the other combinations of sex that have recently come to light?
Dear Mr. Cook,
If you are so concerned about the percentage of non-Caucasians working for Apple, why don't you find a country which is populated by non-Caucasians, Botswana, for example, and set up Apple Africa there? Assist in training the local youth in programming by sponsoring Computer Science degrees from the local university if not enough expertise is available. God knows, Apple is awash in cash. It would be a win-win situation for all.
This is Sparta
BHH» The Israelis are a proud and magnificent people. A warrior race of heros.
Methinks that your downvoters took you literally.
Re: Oh ffs...
You forgot the 'International' part...
YAAC» Campaign to Liberate International Terrorist Organisations and Rehabilitate them Into Society
And coming up to the anniversary of The Great War
You could have put in somthing about the German Hun as well.
Did little Belgium ever say thanks, by the way?
Big Businesses *do* create jobs
Big Business *does* create jobs — usually lots of them in one go — and in a very politician-friendly way, which is a big reason why politicians love Big Business and FDI (Foreign Direct Investment).
Politicians need votes and what better way to get them other than by bringing a factory with 2000 jobs, especially if the factory comes to a place with social problems and high unemployment. Never mind that the government will pay millions for this placement and never mind that this factory will be gone once a much more cost-effective location overseas is found.
Foreign Direct Investment is the cocaine-hit for lazy government. Cultivating small- and medium-sized businesses and the promotion of the necessary attitude required for entrepreneurs is hard, time-consuming and expensive, which is contraproductive when politicians need to show results before each election. You can't have other politicians claiming the credit for your initaitive and hard work.
You also need a system of capital dispension and many banking systems just aren't equipped in either mindset, experience or capital to allow new business to flourish.
title says it all really.
I gave up watching TV almost a decade ago.
I just buy boxsets when I see something that interests me.
It seems that I've missed something called Simon Cowell and Sheryl Cole and my children haven't yet realised that they are missing something called 'Peppa Pig'. A tragedy on a national scale.
Re: Why Latin?
There are a million of so Welsh speakers, aren't there?
I'm not sure they'd be happy to have their language classified as dead.
Maybe you had Manx in mind.
We, who are about to fly, salute thee
I haven't done Latin for 25 years, so I open to correction on my future participles:
We, who are about to fly, salute thee!
Volaturi te salutant
My understanding of Facebook's actions is that they did it because they could.
And that it would make them richer than Croesus, or possibly even Apple, if they would be able to manipulate the emotions of their users as posited. It would take advertising to a new level and really, really stick it to Google.
Just think of implications in the political sphere if Facebook had a preferred candidate.
Just what is the cost of political mood?
Re: If I was a Facebook engineer...
A.C.» I'd wake up and ask myself: What am I doing with my life...???
Answer» Pulling in a handsome salary while exploiting all of the resources at my disposal, including you, if you don't stop me.
Re: zune killer
Dammit, you beat me to it.
Have an upvote.
Re: Only a lawyer
Wouldn't a troll icon have been better?
Or don't those accused of terrorism deserve a lawyer?
As usual security
Until Microsoft et al. can convince us that they won't drop their knickers to whatever state agency that wants them to, I won't trust them with my data in their public cloud.
I have to admit that I'm not happy with the phrase 'Grammar Nazi'.
It conjures up the metaphor of someone collecting together double negatives and split infinitives and then gassing them alive until they are no more.
It reduces the horror of what the Nazis did by making the term commonplace for something relatively petty.
The word 'pedant' is defined at dictionary.com as:
1. a person who makes an excessive or inappropriate display of learning.
2. a person who overemphasizes rules or minor details.
3. a person who adheres rigidly to book knowledge without regard to common sense.
And this seems to fit the bill quite nicely.
Re: So women deserve higher pay
Alas, I don't have any figures offhand.
In the spirit of compromise, I was talking about the big picture, wherein women as a whole are paid less than men as whole. If that means more women in senior positions and more men in junior positions, then that is the price to be paid for the compromise. However, this won't change drastically without major social upheaval.
My guess is that in most organisations those who are less pushy get paid less than those who are more pushy. Or rather, lal start out more or less the same and the pushier or more ambitious ones get pay rises more often because they are an arse about it. And women tend to be in the less pushy category.
Tom7» you can knock up women just as easily as men
Are men easily knocked up? I thought that that was a peculiarly female complaint.
Re: So women deserve higher pay
Zane» So consequently, women need higher pay than men.
Let us compromise and say broadly that they ought to get paid better than what they are getting at the moment.
My nomination for archetypal boffin would the doc from 'Back to the Future'.
In reality, though, anyone who willingly reads academic journals that require a degree in one of the sciences or applied sciences to understand is, in my mind, a boffin. The white lab coat helps.
Ah, the happy, carefree days of 'Trends in Toxicological Sciences'...
Just think of the fun to be had, when women come to ask you to fix their computers.
'It's probably all of the porn that's on there', you reply, knowing full well that her husband, sons, lover have spent the last 10 years looking at sites that have not been good for the system.
'I don't look at porn!' she will reply indignantly. If she is really certain that it's clean, she'll press you to come have a look at it. If she's not, she'll probably let it drop.
If she's clever, she mutter that she's going to kill «male relative of her who also uses her computer» and ask you to come and perform an exorcism on her machine.
Manga is from Japan and this event took place in Taiwan.
Are Raidmax a Japanese company perhaps?
- Hi-torque tank engines: EXTREME car hacking with The Register
- Review What's MISSING on Amazon Fire Phone... and why it WON'T set the world alight
- Product round-up Ten excellent FREE PC apps to brighten your Windows
- Product round-up Trousers down for six of the best affordable Androids
- Why did it take antivirus giants YEARS to drill into super-scary Regin? Symantec responds...