* Posts by deadlockvictim

580 posts • joined 19 Jun 2009

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Evil computers sense you’re in a hurry and mess with your head

deadlockvictim

Re: Printing theses and dissertations

Oddly enough, this has never given up on me. the worst that I've had is a tripping of the switch. I lost the page being printed. I forgot about the computer type.

If you are a mac user, be sure to know other mac users.

If you are a *nix user, you probably have several computers lying around and, if not, certainly have the parts to build one and can do so faster most people can re-install software. Besides, if nothing else, you install some flavour of Unix onto your spouse's old PowerBook and use that just as easily. I never cease to be amazed at how *nix people can make old machines perfectly usable.

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deadlockvictim

Printing theses and dissertations

I'm well used to these buggers' finicky ways. After many, many poor performances from ink-jets, I have only used laser printers since the late 1990s.

Rules to be obeyed when dissertations are to be printed off:

a. Have at least 2 laser printers and access to a third;

b. Have at least 2 computers that can print the thing and access to a third;

c. Have enough paper for at least 1 extra print-out;

d. Have enough time for printing. Order pizza if necesary.

e. Have a copy of dissertation online and on USB stick.

The magic word is 'redundancy'.

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My top three IT SNAFUs - and how I fixed them

deadlockvictim

Entity Framework

esteemed poster» A bit of digging showed a query that was JOINing umpteen tables for no apparent reason, and missing every index in the process. Turned out that this query was servicing the little “Your current dataset” box that appeared in the corner of every page (and whose content got refreshed every time you clicked to a new page).

Ah, that sounds like Entity Framework. Our application is infested with it and it makes debugging and performance optimising a real nuisance.

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That man told me to stuff a ROLE up my USER ENTRY!

deadlockvictim

Finance & Controlling

I would have thought that if you (as a contractor) are being paid by the hour, that a simple e-mail to the beancounters would get this problem solved very quickly. In my experience, contractors get a lot of attention and get their way without too much hassle.

If anyone can get you senior management moving quickly, it is the thought of the beancounters telling them that their budget is being depleted on a mere technicality.

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Going up hills past blokes with coke-bottle legs: The Smart E-bike

deadlockvictim

Re: On getting fit

It depends on how much extra you get done with your e-bike. I now do a 34-km round trip with the e-bike that I wouldn't do with my ordinary bike on the grounds that I'd be too sweaty afterwards. And I cycle in the lowest support mode (because these bikes are *very* heavy) by default. It might be that Iim doing the equivalent of 90 mins walking per day (each way takes me 45 mins), but it is still exercise that I wouldn't be doing if I were taking the train.

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deadlockvictim

Flyer

Our company has 2 Flyers [1] which I'm allowed to use to cycle back and forth from home. I have a 17km (10½ miles) journey each way and each journey takes about 45 mins. It's not especially fast — support stops after 25Km/h and you only realise then how heavy the bugger is. The main reason that I use it rather than my ordinary bike is that I don't need to shower when I get in. It's a very comfortable and agreeable ride. I look on it more as a 45 min walk.

[1] These laddies here: https://www.flyer-bikes.com/int/range/t-series/models/#secondPage

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Guy puts 1990s MacOS 7 on an Apple Watch – without jailbreaking it

deadlockvictim

Re: I miss System 7

Go on to eBay, buy yourself a Performa 475 [1] and load up System 7.1.1 onto it. Go get Civilization from the Macintosh Garden, download it onto a zip-disk (remember those?) or burn the file onto a CD (likewise) and load it into the aforementioned Performa with a SCSI zip-drive or CD-reader.

You then have the glory of playing one the best games from the last century running on the might of a 68LC040 25MHz processor. Stay up all night playing, drinking coffee and eating pizza and then note that you aren't 22 any more.

If you don't mind emulation, there is also Basilisk and SheepShaver.

[1] Note, if you are unfortunate, you may need to get the capacitors replaced. The 20 year old PRAM battery will not work no more.

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Attack of the IT monuments men: Museum wants your kit

deadlockvictim

Civilization

I got my ass kicked about the Americans last night at Emperor level on Civilization on a Performa 475 [1] running Mac OS 7.1.2. I'm going to give Marathon a go afterwards. I know, I should be beating them at this stage.

Not as vintage as the commenters above but still quite usable after 21 years,

That being said, I had to have the capacitors on the motherboard replaced last year and it is on its second PRAM battery.

[1] 25MHz Motorola 68LC040 processor; Now upgraded to the then very desirable 50MHz 68040.

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Facebook echo chamber: Or, the British media and the election

deadlockvictim

Yes Minister

Is there a difference between mainstream politicians any more? Except maybe that the Tories [1] are more popular in the south of England and that Labour is more popular in the North of England?

[1] Originally Irish highwaymen [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tory]. Hmmm.

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Old, forgotten, lonely? SQL Server 2016 will sling you into Azure

deadlockvictim

In-Memory OLTP

The LIKE operator can be used with In-Memory tables with ordinary (i.e Interop) SQL queries.

It can't be used in the natively-compiled procedures, but then almost nothing can. Microsoft specifies what *can* be used, rather than what can't be used.

What I would like to see in SQL Server 2016 In-Memory OLTP is:

• the ability to create indexes on nullable columns;

• Constraints — Foreign key, check und unique;

• Outer joins in natively-compiled procedures;

• Alter Table — at the moment one has to drop a table and recreate it if you want to make a change, add a column, rename it etc.;

• cross-database queries — although linked servers work;

• Sub-queries in natively-compiled subqueries;

This technology is only half-way here. It reminds me of using MySQL back in the 1990s — promising, not yet ready for migrations of currently used systems and maybe suitable for a new application so that the DB and application can be designed around its limitations.

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SQL Server 2005 end of life is coming, run to the hills...

deadlockvictim

SQL Server 2005 » 2012

Hi Trevor,

From a DB-Migration point-of-view, restoring a DB from SQL Server 2005 on a 2012 server is not at all a painful process. It's what surrounds it is where the pain starts: SSIS packages and the like. What tripped us up was the .NET application that had been written for and ran on Windows Server 2003. That wouldn't run on Windows Server 2013 and the migration was cancelled.

I will echo the sentiment about overkill — if you have a small DB (under 10GB), then the Express Edition can be made to work. It only supports one processor (possibly only one core — I'd have to check that up) and has no SQL Server Agent, but the Scheduler in Windows can be used to run sqlcmd. And if your DB is not that much over 10GB, then a careful refactoring of datatypes (DATE instead of DATETIME for dates, VARCHAR instead of NVARCHAR when you don't need Unicode, SMALLINT instead of INT when your field only has a couple of thousand varying entries etc) and a regular archiving DB policy, so that seldomly-used, older data can be offloaded to the archive DB and thus bringing the main DB down under 10GB.

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Microsoft sounds 100-day DOOM KLAXON for Windows Server 2003

deadlockvictim

well, let's see...

It runs 64-bit software nicely and it runs on 64-bit hardware well. Indeed, Windows 201x will almost certainly be slower on comparable hardware.

It don't need no new drivers. What it runs, it runs well and our consultant tells us that it's pretty much secure behind the firewalls and proxies he's set up.

Damn, new software and hardware is expensive. Tell me again why I need to splash out 30K for a new version of the server software (and the hardware, of course, required to run it).

Our technical person (read DBA-Support-Sysadmin-etc) has finally mastered Windows 2003. He doesn't really have the time to start on a whole new server. And he has exams coming up soon.

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Facebook found leaking private photos

deadlockvictim

"private" photos

I suppose that Facebook would be concerned, after all they own the photos.

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Big Data, empty bellies: How supermarkets tweak prices just for the sake of YOUR LOVE

deadlockvictim

Re: More neutral language please

I have a child who is not allowed lactose and gluten. The latter makes her very aggressive and the former causes her to lose control of her bowels. Not life-threatening but certainly worth the effort of cooking lactose-free and gluten-free meals.

As a consequence, I do the bulk of my shopping in the supermarket that has the majority of the things the family needs. My local Aldi and Lidl have a limited assortment of cheaper foodstuffs but not enough to cover the aforementioned child. They are cheaper but multiple trips to supermarkets to cherry-pick what they have is time-consuming.

Another factor is the necessity of a car. We have no car. We have gotten by without one for the last 13 years. I can walk to my local supermarket but I need to drive to my nearest Lidl.

All of these factors mitigate against the large out-of-town stack'em-high-an'-cheap supermarkets in favour of the conventional supermarkets nearby.

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US threatened Berlin with intel blackout over Snowden asylum: report

deadlockvictim

Black & White

You are either with (the) US or you are against (the) US.

Or so it would seem.

It might explain why no country has offered Snowden asylum, despite the fact that he is one of the most obvious cases for it in the last decade or so.

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'Why Digital?' Seriously? You plainly don't Get It enough. Or at all

deadlockvictim

Oh my dear Lord

Title says it all really.

This is a tragedy writing itself.

I don't know whether to laugh or cry.

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Lost WHITE CITY of the MONKEY GOD found after 500 years

deadlockvictim

Ballmer

I was expecting a Ballmer story actually. Can't think why.

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Spent the weekend watching Game of Thrones? You're a FAT LONELY SADDO

deadlockvictim

Sadness, I call it gladness

As with all things, it depends on the nature and frequency of the binging.

For example, when my wife and I get a new boxset [1], we tend to watch 2-3 episodes at night together after the children have been dispatched to bed. I suppose that we could hire a babysitter and go down to the pub. That would be less anti-social but also less liver-friendly. There may be a correlation. We buy about 4 or so boxsets per year.

The last time we seriously binged on DVDs was all 6 Lord of the Rings DVDs over 10 or so hours back in 2006. I borrowed a projector and screen from work and we ordered Thai and pizza for our meals. At the end, I had a headache and vowed never again, well not soon, anyway.

But I see no reason why binge-watching, like binge game-playing, can't be a social activity. Organise an all-day session with friends — say, this sunday we will go through series 1 of Game Of Thrones and make an occasion of it. Then we'll organise another Sunday for series 2. Hell, it's even an excuse to go out and buy a much bigger monitor.

[1] We don't have a TV, just a DVD player. We are definitely anti-social people.

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Mars was a WET mistress: Curiosity probes once-moist bottom

deadlockvictim

color | colour (bloody French)

Wzrd1» let alone color (colour for a minority of the world, if I recall native English speaker number correctly). ;)

If you go by the numbers of native speakers, that is, people with some flavour of English as their mother tongue, then you are surely (Shirley?) correct.

However, if one takes into consideration the number of people who have English as one of their languages, then I think that the vast majority of English speakers on the Indian subcontinent would make that minority a majority.

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Randall Munroe: The root nerd talks to The Register

deadlockvictim

Re: Good interview

On the contrary, if I were to meet him (and recognise him), I would stop him, shake his hand and thank him very much for all that he has produced and to please keep on doing what he does so well. I would tell him that I am giving his books and posters to friends and family as presents.

Finally, I would tell him that he is one of the poets of our generation and that he should be proud of it.

Gushy sentimental stuff, I know, but if you can't gush as a fan, then who can you gush to?

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Get a job in Germany – where most activities are precursors to drinking

deadlockvictim

Re: I am now the MASTER OF THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE

Oh dear.

You have misspelled «grammar» incorrectly.

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deadlockvictim

Re: Germany is a wonderfull place

You live in Switzerland and you reckon that the British have a problem with flag-waving?

Have you not noticed that those who live in countries with red and white flags ( CH and Japan as examples) as well those with red, blue and white flags (U.K., France and U.S.A. as examples [1]) are very, very fond of their flag-waving?

I can't say that Swiss beer did much for me. I stick to Süüremoscht and Jägermeister when I'm out in a pub.

[1] Can any residents in Norway or Iceland validate or refute my theory?

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deadlockvictim

Re: Germany is a wonderfull place

You were going about it the wrong way. Try this approach:

me» The law is defective and not behaving as expected.

her» But it is the Law.

me» This is true. It requires to be changed though. How do we go about changing it?

And which point you enter a new conversation.

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Got a STRAP-ON? Remember to TAKE IT OFF at WORK

deadlockvictim

Re: Cunt Dracula

Just think of Vlad the Impaler and what he did. Less blood, though.

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Ex-NSA lawyer warns Google, Apple: IMPENETRABLE RIM ruined BlackBerry

deadlockvictim

NSA vs Apple + Google

Now this would be an interesting battle.

Whose will would be dominant?

Is Big Business bigger than the Government?

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Me GIVE you $14 SQUILLION gadziddly-DILLION

deadlockvictim

It takes guts to say Jesus

I miss the fake virus warnings from the turn of the millenium. It was always good to read what Microsoft, IBM and AOL had posted that morning and what incredible damage the virus would do once you opened the e-mail.

For example:

If you receive an email titled: "It Takes Guts to Say Jesus"

DO NOT OPEN IT. It will erase everything on your hard drive.

This information was announced yesterday morning from IBM; AOL states that

this is a very dangerous virus, much worse than "Melissa," and that there is NO Remedy for it at this time.

Some very sick individual has succeeded in using the reformat function from

Norton Utilities causing it to completely erase all documents on the hard

drive.

It has been designed to work with Netscape Navigator and Microsoft Internet

Explorer. It destroys Macintosh and IBM compatible computers.

This is a new, very malicious virus and not many people know about it. Pass

this warning along to EVERYONE in your address book ! and please share it

with all your online friends ASAP so that this threat maybe stopped.

Please practice cautionary measures and tell anyone that may have access to

your computer. Forward this warning to everyone that you know that might

access the Internet.

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MEN: For pity's sake SLEEP with LOTS of WOMEN - and avoid Prostate Cancer

deadlockvictim

Re: "a statistically quite small group of people"

Bodyless John Brown» The real problem is that they asked men to be honest about how much sex they get.

The Onion, my news source of choice, covered this recently:

Teen Boys Losing Virginity Earlier And Earlier, Report Teen Boys

http://www.theonion.com/video/teen-boys-losing-virginity-earlier-and-earlier-rep,35906/

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Planning to fly? Pour out your shampoo, toss your scissors, RENAME TERRORIST WI-FI!

deadlockvictim

SQL Injection

The names of all of these hotspots are surely recorded in the airport and kept in a database somewhere. I hope that the application or stored procedure validates the hotspot name properly, otherwise some fellow or gal with a hotspot name like Bob'); drop table HotSpots;-- would cause havoc with their systems. But then I'm sure that they often take backups, as we all are supposed to do.

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HUGE SHARK as big as a WWII SUBMARINE died out, allowing whales to exist

deadlockvictim

When is the film coming out

This would make a great film (in the Sharknado sense rather than the Raging Bull sense of the term). A sort of trashy Jaws — Hai Fisch! or something along those lines.

Would the Nazis in the submarine be the good guys or the baddies, or maybe just the less bad-ass guys? Allowing for some historical revisionism, we could have the real reason why Megaladon went extinct, why the Third Reich really collapsed and how the American really won the Battle of Midway. In fact, this film should be able to let pupils gain such an altered version of the past that they'll be failing history, biology and politics exams for years to come.

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Citizenfour: Poitras' doco is about NSA and GCHQ – NOT Snowden

deadlockvictim

Re: There is no such thing as AQ

Hmmm. I think that you are wrong.

On the evening of September 11, I remember colleagues in the pub surmising that Al Qaeda were to blame. My guess is that Al Qaeda groups were not organised in the same way, say, that the IRA was organised.

I'll have to go watch said documentary though.

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deadlockvictim

The NSA vs Ebola, IS etc.

The NSA is a chronic problem for us all and, for most of us not an acute problem. God help us should NSA and friends become an acute problem and the spectre of 1984 becomes reality.

Ebola and IS are very acute problems for some and, for most of us not an acute problem. Like the NSA and friends, they have the potential to make the lives of all of us a misery (and short at that).

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Britain’s snooping powers are 'too weak', says NCA chief

deadlockvictim

Re: On a similar note.....

Here's a link to FU.

http://www.bing.com/images/search?q=%22house+of+Cards%22+BBC&FORM=HDRSC2#view=detail&id=64D2901F086BC65F5674506CFE4D045F21398571&selectedIndex=1

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Every billionaire needs a PANZER TANK, right? STOP THERE, Paul Allen

deadlockvictim

Re: Picking the nit...

It's the difference between quality and quantity, if I remember my WWII history correctly.

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4K-ing excellent TV is on its way ... in its own sweet time, natch

deadlockvictim

scold

'Scold' is such a lovely word. I have heard it used in a long while. It brings back memories of wicked masters scolding miserable slaves in Latin class.

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deadlockvictim

On being slowly boiled alive with video standards

Most people who use Windows XP are happy with it. In their opinion, it is good enough for them. It's a security nightmare, but that is another problem.

Most people who have a DVD-player and a DVD collection are happy with it. The quality is not at all bad, even on big screens. They have forked out once to have their video collection replaced by DVDs and the last thing that they want to do is to replace the whole bloody lot with 4K.

The entire industry has to leave a gap with technology so that one can appreciate the leap. Blu-ray was a mistake because it came too soon after the introduction of DVD. We are being metaphorically boiled alive in video standards. Now, DVD was so measurely better than VHS that moving up to DVD was an obvious thing to do (what the leftpondians refer to as a 'no-brainer'). Likewise 4K has to be so much better than DVD that upgrading is worth their while, rather than just worth the industry's while.

It seems to me that the likes of NetFlix and video-streaming is the way that people have chosen. Consumers pay a regular fee (not often, just regularly) and get whatever standard they wish. No need to replace the DVD collection because it is all available online. If they want to buy a new 4K telly, then let them do that.

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deadlockvictim

4K in 1993

I remember 1993. Powerful machines then had, maybe, 64MB of RAM and a 40MHz 68040 Motorola processor or a 33MHz 486. High-end machines could hold around 128MB which cost more than the computer running it. High-end hard drives were in the 1-4GB range. Put 10 4GB drives in a RAID-5 and get 36GB space.Added to that is the fact that 16-bit SCSI hadn't yet been introduced.

How in Heaven's name did they manage to digitize a move like 'Snow White' in 4K? I can see why they didn't keep it. You need a lot of DLT tapes to keep a 100GB+ file for machines that came with 160MB hard drives.

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Was Earth once covered in HELLFIRE? No – more like a wet Sunday night in Iceland

deadlockvictim

Re: 4 billion year old zircons?

Fool! They were planted there to test you.

Now Hell (or Hades, in this case) awaits you along with the Fake Christians, Abortionists, Jesus Mockers, Rebellious Women, Muslims, Disobedient Children, Masturbators, Sport Nuts, The Prideful, Hypocrites, Buddhists, Good People, thieves, Inventors of evil, Homosexuals, Party Animals, Idolators, Adulterers, Liars, Anarchists, Catholics, Murderers, Atheists, Pornofreaks, Liberals, Satanists, Cowards, False Teachers, Hindus and Money Lovers.

The gun nuts are missing, but I suspect that the committee who drew up the contents of this wonderful poster reckoned that they would be covered by 'The Prideful'

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Microsoft staff brace for next round of layoffs – expected Thursday

deadlockvictim

All-Caps are annoying

Hi Malagabay,

I have a favour to ask of you: Would you please cut down on the use of all-caps please?

Apart from the fact that it is very annoying to read, it also has the unpleasant effect of giving one the impression that you are mentally unbalanced.

Kind regards

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New Snowden leak: US and Brit spooks 'tap into German telco networks to map end devices'

deadlockvictim

September 11, 2001

Wasn't it a windfall for the various spying agencies that, after a couple of weeks' training in Texas, those 19 Saudis were able to learn to fly commercial aircraft well enough that they were able to hit two skyscrapers?

Without their successful attack, President Bush would have received much more resistance when signing PRISM into force, Congress would have debated the massive sums demanded by aforementioned spying agencies and we all might have been aware earlier of their plans.

And furthermore, anyone who doesn't tow the official line is derided as a 'conspiracy nut' and belittled, partly because those who follow conspiracies don't do themselves or their causes any favours. Oh well, the War on Terror® has been, for some, a great success.

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iPhone NFC: 'Apple, photos and security ... WHAT could go WRONG?'

deadlockvictim

Re: Smart meters are great

The person featured is a real customer and has received a gratuity for appearing in this commercial.

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Would Apple godhead Steve Jobs have HATED the Watch?

deadlockvictim

Re: Not Paul the Octopus

The cube (like the Macintosh and the Mac 512K) was great if you didn't live in a hot country, and was, like many other Apple products, horribly overpriced. I would've loved to have one. In the end, I upgraded my Performa 6400.

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deadlockvictim

Re: If Steve wanted it...

LucreLout» However, Apple don't innovate - they never did. What Apple excelled at was looking at tech which hadn't caught on, could be significantly slicker, easier to use, and prettier, and they rebuilt that.

Which of these products were widely available and used before Apple got their greedy paws on them?

• Expandable & affordable personal computer (Apple ][)

• GUI (Lisa & Macintosh)

• Laser Printer with PostScript

• Personal Digital Assistant (Newton)

• 32-bit OS in a home computer (Mac OS 7 onwards)

• USB (iMac onwards)

• FireWire

• very light powerful laptops (MacBook Air — although I do prefer Netbooks)

• really small computers (Mac Mini)

That's not a bad list for innovation.

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Boffins: Searching for ALIENS is like looking for PIZZA among students

deadlockvictim

Geological Sources

Esteemed Author» Therefore, you know the methane is being replenished. The best way to replenish methane in the presence of oxygen is with life.”

Is a geological source of methane also not likely?

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Applelutely fappulous: Fashionistas bow down before the JESUS PHONE

deadlockvictim

Every year the same thing

Suggestion for El Reg:

Create a scheduled article. It just needs the launch date, current iOS version and current Mac OS as parameters.

'Apple launched iPhone x+1 today and fans have been queuing since last week to get the first glimpse. Star designer Jonathan Ive stated that by staying different they were staying the same. The Apple community were also impressed by the new version of Mac OS X y+1. It's our most stable release yet said Apple CEO Tim Cook in his understated way.'

The same scheduled article could also fill in the first 120 responses to save the outraged and overjoyed readers from their predictable response. For a bit of variation, you could activate YouTube-Response mode, which would include appalling grammar, lamentable spelling, blatant name-calling, some racism (for good measure) and the same answer 100 times to the simple question asked as well as overall lack of respect for one another.

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15 MEEELLION malware-infested mobiles worldwide – report

deadlockvictim
Trollface

That's crazy talk

Subhead» Hide your iPads, folks

*Everyone* knows that Apple products don't get viruses and tings because they are shiny and happy.

You are just doing this to stir up trouble, aren't you?

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Tricked by satire? Get all your news from Facebook? You're in luck, dummy

deadlockvictim

Re: When Your Opponent Refuses Reason....Resort to Ridicule

Self praise is no praise?

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deadlockvictim

New helpful prefixes for El Reg

I think only fair that we get more helpful prefixes along the lines mentioned in the article at El Reg.

Some suggestions:

[Real actual news]

[Apple news]

[Wanton celeb gossip]

[Gossip about wanton celebs]

[Salacious gossip]

[Probably real, actual news but we can't agree]

[It's really happening, Reg, it's actually happening!! (Scream in frustration)]

[Apparently satire actually scathing social commentary]

[News fit for pinko commies]

[News fit for rightwing bastards]

[News approved of by the 1%]

and so on

In passing I would like to say, that as a teenager, I found the warning labels on CDs and videos very helpful when it came to making purchasing decisions. I never thought I'd approve of the American Moral Majority, but they saved me a lot of time when it came to looking for the sort of stuff that 16 year olds look for.

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Now that's FIRE WIRE: HP recalls 6 MILLION burn-risk laptop cables

deadlockvictim

Prior Art

HP would want to be careful. Apple already has prior art on laptops bursting into their flames with their much maligned Powerbook 5300 series.

That being said, poorly engineered power cables trumps poorly engineered batteries when it comes to computer companies (and Apple was a computer company back then).

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Weekend reads to tickle your intellectual palate: From Nazis to Invisibility

deadlockvictim

Re: Not just me then?

The ignored, perceived insignificant and the invisible look very alike too. It is the plot of many a book and film where the protagonist is able to wander where (s)he will on account of their ignored status.

The author of this book could also have asked the many women in their 50's who complain that they are more or less invisible as to how it feels to be treated as (to all intents and purposes) not there.

But then again, when it comes to decision-making on important technical matters, many technies might as well be invisible to those who are more easily swayed by the likes of Gartner and other accountants.

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The police are WRONG: Watching YouTube videos is NOT illegal

deadlockvictim

Re: The "LAW"

There is no justice, just us...

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