* Posts by Marketing Hack

2713 posts • joined 18 Jun 2009

Wow, another NSA leak: Network security code appears on GitHub

Marketing Hack
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Terminator

Re: Please, be the first to take advantage of this fine product

You make it sound as if SIMP is akin to SkyNet!! I for one can assure you that SkyNet is much more user-friendly :)

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Canuck chump cuffed over helium balloon flying chair stunt

Marketing Hack
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Black Helicopters

Got to agree with AB. It would have been really bad if our fearless, flying lawnchair had brought down a plane or helicopter in the middle of the Calgary Stampede.

(Even if it was a black helicopter on the way to my Montana mountain bunker complex!)

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Flushed with success: No bog standard Canadian goldfish these

Marketing Hack
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Happy

I for one welcome...

Our freakishly large discarded goldfish overlords!!

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Kamikaze Rosetta probe to ram comet it's chased for billions of miles

Marketing Hack
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Facepalm

In other news, we just found life on Mars!

Oops, that comet we just redirected crushed it...

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Former Cisco money chief cash-lands at Red Hat

Marketing Hack
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That's a lot of departures from Cisco

The traditional excuse is that people who thought they might take the CEO spot after Chambers left are now moving on, but this seems extreme. Maybe a bunch of the guys just liked working for Chambers?

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GCHQ: Security software? We'll soon see about THAT

Marketing Hack
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Unhappy

Re: The definition of "security"

I've already beaten this horse to death, but one more time....These sigint agencies are doing more damage to actual IT security than any hacker collective could do.

"Let's take working AV software and compromise it. What's the worst that could happen?"

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Marketing Hack
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Re: "spooks reverse-engineered software products in order to obtain intel"

Nice one, Tromos :)

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Mum fails to nuke killer spider nest from orbit

Marketing Hack
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Re: Cool

Mispelling on my part, but I'm sure the White Witch had a couple ice spiders scurrying around...

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Marketing Hack
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Happy

Re: Which as we all know is the only way to be sure @Steve Davies 3

Given normal British weather, I guess that means grabbing a magnifying glass and brutally beating the spider with it. :)

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Marketing Hack
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IT Angle

She could always have taken the offending banana and throne it in the freezer....

That would have done the job. Could probably use the defrosted banana for banana bread too.

Does Britain fumigate bananas and other produce before they are sold? I worked in a grocery store during college, and we found dead tarantulas in the banana boxes occasionally, but they had died because the bananas were fumigated once they entered the U.S.

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Even Apple doesn’t mess with Taylor Swift

Marketing Hack
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And in the end Apple agreed to pay the artists and made themselves look like jerks

I doubt this will kill Apple Music, but its not the type of pre-launch publicity that Apple wants.

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John Fowler survives latest chapter of Oracle's Game of Thrones

Marketing Hack
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Mushroom

Re: So who's Daenerys Targaryen at Oracle then?

And which building on the Oracle campus has the dragons locked up underneath it?

(Whatever you do, don't press "B" when riding the elevators at Oracle! And if you do, stay in the elevator if you hear a silky voice outside saying "dracaris".)

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FBI says in secret that secret spy Cessnas aren't secret

Marketing Hack
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Re: Works 4 me

@ AC #1

You've got nothing to hide? That would be more convincing if you weren't posting anonymously, presumably to hide from your fellow El Reg commentariat. Personally, I am more scared of federal agents who can investigate you, sieze or freeze your assets, arrest and jail you or put you on watch lists that can restrict your movement or potentially complicate your ability to work in certain jobs or on certain federal contracts.

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Are ALIENS hiding on Jupiter's Europa? Let's find out, cry NASA bods

Marketing Hack
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Alien

The ice wouldn't really be useful for space probes.

Separating the oxygen and hydrogen might would be nice for manned spaceflight though.

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US National Vulnerability Database contained ... yup, an XSS vuln

Marketing Hack
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Re: You couldn't make it up

Its the government, so as much as I genuinely hate to say it, this plot development is not unrealistic at all. :(

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Hacked US OPM boss: We'll fix our IT security – just give us $21 million

Marketing Hack
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Holmes

I know where we can get the $21 million....

The NSA has what-is-it, a $10 billion budget? $12 billion? I forget what the leaked black budget found in the Snowden papers said.

Fort Meade won't miss $21 million, especially if it is spent on actual cybersecurity.

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Did climate change scare off vegan dinos for millions of years? 'Yes'

Marketing Hack
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Boffin

only two-legged carnivores could thrive?

There must have been a reasonable population of largish herbivores for the carnivores to eat.

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'Snowden risked lives' fearfest story prompts sceptical sneers

Marketing Hack
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Stop

There have been so many accusations against Snowden that credibility is strained...

Remember all the accusations when he started releasing documents, about how he was working with China or Russia, or exposing intelligence agents? I do.

I'm not going to say that there aren't personally incriminating documents in the trove that Snowden got away with. Most of them have never been and never will be published, and much of that is because the news outlets are vetting the documents that are published for material that might endanger agents.

I'm not going to say that the Chinese or Russians haven't found a way to hack into the Snowden haul and defeat it's encryption. Its possible they might have.

However, given the insincerity and butt-covering that has marked the intelligence community's response to Snowden, its going to take some proof for me to believe that it was specifically the Snowden documents that are causing the current problem, and not some other penetration of western intelligence by various adversaries for which Edward Snowden is being used as the whipping boy.

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Sun's out, guns out: Plucky Philae probot WAKES UP ... hits 'snooze'

Marketing Hack
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Boffin

I suppose that in that low gravity environment the lander would bounce around a little.

I'd imagine that uneven cometary offgassing or impacts with small bodies might shake Philae loose from it's various resting places and have it bouncing around the comet a little.

Well, its good to hear from the little guy!

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Hyperconvergence isn't about hardware: It's server-makers becoming software companies

Marketing Hack
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Makes sense....

The history of the tech industry is that the hardware layer gets commodified, but the software layer retains value.

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Innocent Spaniards roasted by experimental napalm mead

Marketing Hack
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Pint

More proof that people will try anything....

If you combine said activity with alcohol.

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Why is that idiot Osbo continuing with austerity when we know it doesn't work?

Marketing Hack
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I think Keynsian stimulus is fine, but...

You have to be able to afford it long term. The post-crisis U.S. had been running trillion-dollar deficits until a few years ago, and it helped steady things, but it didn't create even normal post-recession recovery growth rates.

The larger issue is running up the deficit. That's not a huge issue now, but I see it being a big issue in 10-20 years, as much of the quantitative easing money supply growth will still be in the system, plus the return to trillion-dollar deficit-induced money supply creation as retiree benefits crank up deficit financing. I'm worried about inflation and then a spike in interest rates as financiers of that deficit worry about their loans being inflated away in the face of an ongoing need for more deficit financing to keep Medicare, Medicaid and Social Security going.

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US mega-hack: White House orders govt IT to do what it should have done in the first place

Marketing Hack
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Facepalm

My thoughts on this matter:

1) Please, please, please--anyone who is managing a database containing background and personnel information on all civilian federal government employees had better already know about deploying the latest software and security patches. However, it wouldn't surprise me if they didn't....

2) Definition of poetic justice: The zero-day vulnerability exploited by the Chinese(?) hackers is one that the NSA/Five Eyes had already identified and had decided to keep to themselves--because that zero-day has intelligence value and nothing that the NSA/Five Eyes ever does or avoids doing is ever picked up by other hackers out in the world.

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Jurassic World: All the meaty ingredients for a summer blockbuster

Marketing Hack
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Re: To quote from Mock the Week...

They should work in another gag where their liability insurance holder is AIG, the once-worlds-largest-insurer that blew up in the financial crisis because it insured all those collateralized debt obligations that were based on crap-quality mortgages.

Then again, the reference might be a bit dated though.

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Marketing Hack
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Re: I'm more interested

I've seen the "Spectre" trailer, and like Jurassic World there is a serious zoological/biological credibility issue--no white persian cat!!!

How can you have SPECTRE as the bad guy without the proper feline accoutrement? (Sigh) Another piece of my childhood chipped away. Thanks a lot, MGM!!

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Hold on to your hats: LOHAN'S PRATCHETT mission launch imminent

Marketing Hack
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Go

Did the FAA ever give their blessing to the LOHAN mission??

Or are the inner workings of the black box of federal regulation still utterly unknowable, except for the occasional klunk, bang or whirr emenating from within?

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Germany drops probe into NSA's Merkel phone-hacking

Marketing Hack
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Black Helicopters

Re: No guts anymore

Maybe the rest of the world likes Germans because you have become so agreeable?

NSA: We'd really like to know what Angie Merkel is talking about when she's on that mobile phone of hers.

BND: Sure, why not? And while we're at it, we have a warehouse full of beer and a few extra luxury sedans we're trying to get rid of. Can you take those?

NSA: (sigh) OK, if you insist...

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Dossiers on US spies, military snatched in 'SECOND govt data leak'

Marketing Hack
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Re: At some point...

Yes, one wonders where the U.S. Cybersecurity Command (The arm of the NSA that is supposed to defend U.S. networks) was on this one. Maybe their guys had all been borrowed by the rest of the NSA to go through honest citizens' mobile phone metadata.

After all, who could possibly want to attack a bunch of servers that had the security background check data for just about everyone who works for the U.S. government and is not in the DoD/intelligence agencies?

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ISP Level 3 goes TITSUP after giganto traffic routing blunder

Marketing Hack
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Re: #WhoBrokeTheInternet

Kim Kardashian nudie pics?

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Carbon nanotube memory tech gets great big cash dollop

Marketing Hack
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Go

Agree on "Let's actually see a product". Sounds great, considering they have been venture-funded since George Bush the Younger became President, I want to see something that is actually generally available.

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In memoriam: Christopher Lee, Hammer's Count Dracula

Marketing Hack
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Unhappy

Rest in peace, Christopher Lee

I grew up with his Hammer films on Saturday afternoon movies and the local late night "Creature Features" horror movie show. I also very much enjoyed him as Scaramanga, the hyper-competitive international assassin in "Man With the Golden Gun"

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Belgium trolls France with bonkers new commemorative coin

Marketing Hack
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Trollface

Maybe the French can retaliate with their own coin?

An odd denomination Euro coin inscribed with "Belgium--speed bump for German armies since 1914!"

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Indie review of UK surveillance laws: As you were, GCHQ

Marketing Hack
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Unhappy

The good news about Theresa May is...

At least her name gives some decent openings for mockery.

-Theresa May be a cryptofascist

-Theresa May go fuck herself

-Theresa May be be paranoid

Seriously, NO revisions to existing surveillance practices?

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The Martian: Matt Damon sciences the sh*t out of the red planet

Marketing Hack
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Coat

Re: I'd watch it.

"It's been done before, it was called Robinson Crusoe."

You know, there was a 60s scifi maybe-not-quite-B-movie called "Robinson Crusoe on Mars", complete with Martian man Friday.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Robinson_Crusoe_on_Mars

Mine's the spacesuit with all the red dust on it!

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Net neutrality starts this Friday! Kinda! Sorta! It's a little complicated ...

Marketing Hack
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Devil

Re: "Behind the scenes manouvering"

The telcos are not done bullshitting, either!

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So why the hell didn't quantitative easing produce HUGE inflation?

Marketing Hack
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Boffin

QE was used to increase inflation

Otherwise we would have had global deflation after the financial crisis, which would have been very bad: Why haven't we seen lots of inflation the last couple years? That's because global growth and demand is still weak, with China slowing, the U.S. growing well below usual for a recovery period and Europe pretty flat as a unit.

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HP to buy EMC? We think so, say Wall St money men

Marketing Hack
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IT Angle

I dont think this is a great idea

A). Sounds a lot like Wall Street pushing a deal to bump up M&A activity to benefit Wall Street

B) Merging two big organizations from opposite sides of the country with different cultures? Just the internal political wrangling would take years to fall out.

C) Where's the value for customers in this? I don't see an improvement in products/service/pricing coming out of this.

D)If HP and EMC were serious about this, HP could have just sold off their enterprise business to EMC months ago, without the disruption of the intermediate step of creating HP Enterprise.

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ISIS command post obliterated after 'moron' jihadi snaps a selfie, says US Air Force

Marketing Hack
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The Air Force might have been checking the target to offset casualties to civilians.

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US Patriot Act's phone spying rules are dead – but that means very little

Marketing Hack
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Black Helicopters

We'll see...

I think we will end up with some version of the USA freedom act. Yes,NSA reform is welcome after nearly 40 years, but considering the dishonesty and opacity of the intelligence establishment, I will be on the lookout for them somehow gaming the system.

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GCHQ gros fromage stays schtum on Snowden and snooping

Marketing Hack
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Black Helicopters

Re: Ipcress2

Egypt does torture so much better though...

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'I thought we were pals!' Belgium, Netherlands demand answers from Germany in spy bust-up

Marketing Hack
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Black Helicopters

Thats one of the downsides of outsoucing security to the U.S.

How much do you want to bet this has something to do with thevNSAs budget being 20 timescthe BNDs, and the Germans trying to keep access to all that U.S. Intel by selling out their Euro- buddies.

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FCC boss sketches out bargain broadband for hard-up Americans

Marketing Hack
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Go

In general, I am in favor of this.

It's hard to even apply for a job these days if you don't have access to a computer and the internet. If this helps people stay connected to the rest of society and kids to get their schoolwork done, then I am for it.

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Insurer tells hospitals: You let hackers in, we're not bailing you out

Marketing Hack
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Go

I agree with the posters above--don't subsidize bad IT security practices!

If IT security meets certain standards, then by all means pay the claim. If not, then by paying the claim you are subsidizing bad behavior, and when you subsidize something you get more of it.

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The 'echo chamber' effect misleading people on climate change

Marketing Hack
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National Socialist Environmental Synthesis Center?

Eco-nazis!!! Run for your lives!!

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Sex disease surge in US state partly blamed on hook-up apps

Marketing Hack
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Terminator

We've given the machines another avenue to attack us!

They're probably just jealous that they can't get a little leg too.

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WTF is going on with the zombie NSA-friendly Patriot Act? Let us help

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Stranded Brussels airport passengers told to check Facebook

Marketing Hack
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That's not good!!

You'd think that something like air traffic control would have a couple redundant sources of power. Maybe its because the Flemish and Walloons can't agree on how to spell "UPS"?

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Death-to-passwords FIDO Alliance finds a friend at DOCOMO

Marketing Hack
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Facepalm

Iris recognition...

Great, at least if the bad guys get your password, you can change that. What happens once they steal your iris scan from an ill-protected server somewhere?

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Queen's Speech: Snoopers' Charter RETURNS amid 'modernisation' push

Marketing Hack
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Stop

Re: sigh

When they say "freedom", they mean their freedom of action.

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Pre-IPO Tegile looking at flash tiering, scale-out and the cloud

Marketing Hack
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Facepalm

Re: "It's similar to Nimble"

Yes, bad branding there, and way to promote a competitor Mr. Cummins! "Our offering is similar to Nimble, except that Nimble is more established, stable and has a larger support and services network!"

(Well, there are lots of companies that have survived worse faux pas.)

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