Posts by Marketing Hack
1041 posts • joined Thursday 18th June 2009 23:05 GMT
Food printer cartridges=future source of 50% of HP's profits?
Choose correct Meg Whitman response below:
A) Pressing fingertips together ala Montgomery Burns and breathily hissing "Excellent!"
B) Stroke white Persian cat while watching liftoff of rocket bearing food printer
C) Sitting in dark corner suite saying "Everything is transpiring as I have forseen...."
Re: Did you just put the mockers on LOHAN?
If the launchpad does have problems come Sept. 14, may I suggest the following subtitle on the bad news?
"Launch team unable to get it up for LOHAN"
OK, I'm outta here!!
P.S.--Make sure the new Playmonaut is wearing a tiny life preserver....
British-involved efforts to pollute the U.S. of A....
Couldn't do it with redcoats and Hessians, so One Direction is just the latest move in a long history of trying to subvert the American way of life?
I knew there was a reason that Brits are always the bad guys in movies!!
(Actually, it would be interesting to find out how much of "Hollywood studio seeking villain for major motion picture--English accent required" is some kind of American cultural memory)
Maybe it shows the Star Wars Galaxy being acquired by the Disney galaxy?
You saw it on El Reg first!!
Government contractor embarrassed and uses law to CYA....
How about cancelling Terracom's contract for putting so much personal information stupidly at risk. And WGET is sophisticated in the same sense that downloading sports stat data using a web browser and then putting that data into Excel is "sophisticated"
This is just Ed Miliband posturing with Labor's anti-corporate base....
If Miliband was serious about legislation to solve these tax avoidance issues, he would be speaking quietly with his colleagues in Parliament to build concensus for a change.
Instead, he's out bashing Google publicly at Google's own event. This is all about Ed trying to convince Labor supporters that he is on the side of workers against big, bad corporations.
The good news is....
We'll know exactly what we are about to get hit by!
Here's some ideas for album tracks....
-Committee Blues (Make Me Wanna Holler)
-Workin' (Through) the Weekend
-What About Now (the Deadline Song)
Submitted with humble apologies to Marvin Gay, Loverboy and Daughtry!!
Meanwhile, back on Capital Hill.....
Committee Chair: Welcome to today's hearing on corporate tax policy. Testifying today is Apple Chairman and CEO Tim Cook. We'll open the questioning with the Senator from the great state of Iowa!
Senator: Mr. Cook, why does Apple pay so little in corporate income tax?
Tim Cook: Because the way you guys wrote the laws let's us get away with it.
Committee Chair: And that concludes the substantial portion of today's hearing. I'd like to thank Mr. Cook for attending and I would like to remind everyone that this hearing will be broadcast on CSPAN channel 2 at 3 PM Eastern tomorrow. Have a great day, and drive home safely!
Of course now sadistic companies will change their call center routing....
Can't have customers penetrating the bureaucracy, after all!!
Look out Russia, we're coming for ya!!
very slowly....
Re: Plan for 90 days, run for 9 years? Here's to you!
I think we're paying 21% annual maintenance though....
After 6 months of turd-spinach people are going to be ready for anything
There's going to be a lot of jealous comments about how the guys back on the ISS have it soft, what with their "turkey in a tube" and all.
Also a definite risk of future landers getting mobbed based on a vicious rumor that the incoming explorers have packs of saltines......
If this doesn't inspire confidence among employers, nothing will!!
"The jobs [on offer at iCity] are potentially open to people who haven't been brilliant at school or haven't got fantastic qualifications, but have a natural aptitude for dealing with gizmos that I barely understand."
They're making the press center into the world's largest Best Buy??
Not surprised that retail and hospitality contributes so many of these growth companies
Think of the number of fashion labels that didnt exist 10 years ago. There is a lot of growth companies in that industry, but then there are a lot of companies that die quickly because they fall out of style.
I hope they can save the scope!
But honestly, I think that robotic missions to Mars/Europa/Enceladus would be more important. That and developing a cheap way to get into orbit. If we can do that, then we can have 2-3 successors to Kepler up there, rather than hope to run the original well past it's expected lifespan.
Re: help fund music, film, and the arts
You left out that the French also have pet monkeys trained to wave white flags....
Tower....this.....is.....Ghostrider.....requesting......a.....flyby.....
Negative Ghostrider, the pattern is full.
Locking.....all.....weapons.....on.....tower..................Commencing.....sterilization......protocol.......alpha......niner.......
Re: "headquartered in Newbury"
Maybe if Vodafone's cut was taken in stacked $1 bills, the pile would stretch from London to Newbury? That sounds like one of the Reg's alternate measurement units....
How do you say "Ka-ching!" in British English??
Re: 51st state
Yeah, Britain has completely submerged itself in American culture, whereas in the U.S. you never hear see any British cultural influence beyond Shakespeare, the Beatles, Coldplay, The Rolling Stones, The Office, James Bond, reality TV, musical theater, Gordon Ramsay, Brits working in Hollywood, the royal family, etc.......
About the only British cultural flops in America have been Morris dancing and soccer!
Re: Welcome home Commander.
After his performance on the ISS, were his first words on landing in Kazahkstan "I am home now. Where is sexy good time?!"
Cloudant...
We're really the CIA!!
(At least their not the NSA)
ISS has over 140 laptops on board, around 80 of which are working at any one time,
Sounds just like our laptops at work!!
/rimshot
See! I told you guys!!
"When asked about the practices of the security software company that still bears his name, McAfee said he'd had no input into the company for the last 21 years (leaving in 1994 after selling the firm to Network Associates for a rumored billion-dollar payout) and the current code was "was none of my doing."
"As to name association, I am a master at sullying my own name and, all things considered, being associated with the worst software on the planet ranks way down the pole," he said. "It's barely a blip in the ocean of associations – madman, paranoid, child molester, murderer, drug addict, unstable, liar, to name but a few.""
When McAfee oozed back into the U.S., I prognosticated on these forums that it was only a matter of time before he started bagging on Intel and how they were running a certain epynomously named IT security company.
It makes me wonder about my own mental state to think that I may be simpatico with this guy!! Maybe I should be taken off the streets!
As for the last part of his above quote--wow...just wow.
I wonder if there are brand equity people at Intel who are now seriously considering a rechristening of McAfee (the software company).
Re: Mythomaniac
As the article stated, the movie is already being written!!
@Matt_payne666
And coincidentally, Detroit can probably be privatized pretty cheaply, and much of the city does look like a set from a certain 80s sci-fi movie franchise.
It's kind of depressing that Robocop might be the most prescient scifi movie of the modern era. When are they going to slap a laser cannon on the ISS and rechristen it as the Star Wars Peace Platform??
You would have thought that MS would have learned from the Vista flub...
Computers should work for people, not the other way around. And don't require expensive hardware upgrades TO RUN A DAMN OS. The OS is merely an enabler of computing, not an application that helps people improve their lives.
Pick suitable EA/Star Wars meme below......
Take your pick of the below....
1) I feel a great disturbance in the Force, as if a billion video game fans suddenly cried out, and were then silenced....
2) DRM! Paid patching! Ingame advertising! The Dark Side are those!!
3) EA headquarters!--you will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villiany.....
4) Luke: Quick!, the game is heading for that small moon! Obi-wan: That's no moon, that's a price tag....
5) EA: That'll be 25,000--up front. Video game fan: 25,000!!??! I could develop the game for that!! EA: Yeah kid, but could you license it?
I see a new Syfy movie in the making....
"Cicada Storm", or maybe "Cicada vs. Crocosaurus"!!
Re: NOT grasshoppers!
So you're saying that there's room in Oz for another invasive species without impacting the quality of life? Remind me to dig up some Cicadas after Brood 2 gets done with their spring break, and transplant them outside of Sydney.
Hey, it can't be worse than the cane toads.....
I think concern about this is going to go the way concern about concealed carry did....
Remember all those opinion pieces saying that concealed carry would lead to citizens settling traffic disputes and routine arguments with gunfire? Yes, I do.
Has it worked out that way, despite concealed carry permits running into the millions having been issued? No it hasn't. Yes, there will be some crooks who use these guns, but they probably could have got their hands on other weapons anyway.
Occam's razor....
Perhaps the three pieces shown are a dental crown, and a toy whale and boat belonging to the crew of the UFO that crashed.
And the 40 years that followed from the event to the exploration would give the Russian and Soviet government plenty of time to cart off the larger pieces of UFO wreckage!!
Sonny Crockett had the beard right??
So can I pull my white linen suit and Wham! tapes out of storage, or does society need a few years to reach that level of enlightenment (again)?
Wake me up before you go-go, and when the 80s are once more cool!
But....but....but.....
Fox News says they are "fair and balanced"! It's on TV, so it must be true!!
(Not to say that there aren't other blowhard networks on U.S. TV, but Murdoch/Fox is such an easy target!)
Re: I have a cunning plan...
@Peter Simpson 1
You sir, are a capitalist swine! (and I mean that lovingly!)
Re: Surely that's untrue?
McCarthy was a self-promoting, career-destroying paranoiac, but there is a big difference between destroying someone's career in the movies or academia versus DPRK-style carting them (and their family, and then their children born in captivity) off to the gulag to often never be seen again.
Re: No - it can't be true!
Hmmm, here's a thought. In the Olympics of restrictive media practices, who would win the gold medal, the DPRK or the RIAA?
I wouldn't want to stake my retirement savings on that bet!
Frankenbeer has been created!
Grab the torches and pitchforks, and the pretzels and frosted glasses!!!
Thank God she didn't mix Mentos and Diet Coke!!
Won't somebody think of the children!!
Thanks for the pointers, NASA!!
I'll have to review all this when I put my atomic death ray into orbit.....
Re: I think walruses are from the northern hemisphere
Steamed leopard seal then???
Just when I was thinking of using Airbnb...
Guess it's time to change my mind....
And if you buy now, we'll give you free shipping on your printed certificate!
I wonder if IT professionals will find a way to put this certification on their Amazon wish lists......
Actually its the Predators firing up their training facility.....
Mysterious multi-billionaire Mr. Weyland is forming a party to investigate the heat signature!
(OK, the "Alien vs. Predator" reference is a bit of a reach considering the mid-range success and quality of that movie, but what else am I going to say? That if this volcano erupts the resulting ash cloud is going to interrupt the globally-vital air corridor between Hobart and McMurdo Station?)
This is what you get for upgrading Opportunity to Windows 8!!
There's probably a minimized "Please insert CD #3" dialogue box open on one of the terminals in mission control......
Sigh.....
"We don't have the ability to go to court and say, 'We need a court order to effectuate the intercept.' Other countries have that. Most people assume that's what you're getting when you go to a court."
I remember when this country used to be free.....
Thanks for the pics, Herschel!!
That's all I have to say. Great project, its a shame we didn't have a way to send it into orbit with more coolant aboard.
Maybe the DPRK is using the Facebook business model?
We'll break up your ship for free, as long as we can have your data! And while you are considering that, we'll show you some adds for Viagra and seedy dating sites....
I'm upset that Salzmann, Keuhn and Lowell are mentioned...
And they forgot to credit Dr. Obvious!!
Academia can be so harsh.....
So much for my hopes of making the Kessel run in less than 12 parsecs!
What am I going to have to do to defeat Captain Solo? Encase him in carbonite or something??!!
