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* Posts by Marketing Hack

1981 posts • joined 18 Jun 2009

Super Cali signs a kill-switch, campaigners say it's atrocious

Marketing Hack
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Maybe a white hat hacker will do society a favor...

And brick the legislature's and Jerry Brown's mobile phones, just to show them what they have really passed and how it can be abused.

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Experimental hypersonic SUPERMISSILE destroyed 4 SECONDS after US launched it

Marketing Hack
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Re: Why?

Countries need militaries, there really isn't much of a way around it. Especially trading nations (like most of Europe) or nations that like to profess international good behavior (like most of Europe).

A hypersonic missile is not immoral, though it can be used in immoral ways. The same is true of any weapons system. I know for a fact that lots of medieval knights thought that bowman were immoral because they fought at a distance.

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Marketing Hack
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Mushroom

Re: @Phil Endecott - Re "which could potentially bypass missile defences"

Or the original "Failsafe" if the servers offering up Dr. Strangelove are maxed out.

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Marketing Hack
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Mushroom

Re: to be expected

Sounds in this case like the Air Force had a booster failure. That happens, but its much more basic than having the craft disintegrate 4 seconds into its hypersonic flight. The launch vehicle probably never reached 300 mph off the pad before it exploded.

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Re: Ronald Reagan Ballistic Missile Defense Test Site?

@Anonymous Coward

I'm not a Republican. However, Reagan did what he set out to do, defeat the Soviet Union. Amazingly enough, that was a really good thing for humanity, as just about any el Reg commentard from East of Vienna and Denmark will tell you. I'm not saying he was perfect, but growing up in the U.S. during the late 70s, I can assure you that Ronald Reagan really changed things in the U.S., and for the better.

As for the Middle East, Reagan did no worse than any other President in handling that geographic poisoned chalice. The real problem with the Middle East goes back to dysfunctional local politics/tensions, and the descisions made by France and Britain following WW1.

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Ronald Reagan Ballistic Missile Defense Test Site?

I think Reagan was the one really good president that I can remember, and he was a champion of missile defense, but this reminds me too much of the "Star Wars Peace Platform" in the original (and superior) Robocop movie.

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Mushroom

Re: Re "which could potentially bypass missile defences"

During the Cold War, between detection and confirmation of a large-scale Soviet launch and when that strike would land in the U.S., the time for the U.S. President to make up his mind was about 10-15 minutes. If you were the French President or the British PM, you had even less time to figure out what to do with your deterrent before the missiles started plopping down on top of the Eifel Tower or Trafalgar Square.

(Having lived through that, I much prefer dealing with our modern-day crazy Islamic nutbags)

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Galileo! Galileo. Galileo! Galileo frigged-LEO: Easy come, easy go. Little high, little low

Marketing Hack
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Joke

Re: Schadenfreudean Slip?

It is a SAD-NAV. I heard they were feeling a little low...

/rimshot

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LOHAN Kickstarter bid IS GO: Back our Vulture 2 spaceplane launch

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@Paultnl

Imagine what the demand would be if the tankards came pre-filled!!

(I'd have bought a tankard, but it seems they drive on the wrong side of the pond)

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Marketing Hack
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Coat

I popped for the North American mission patch

Since I am already overrun with coffee mugs and t-shirts.

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Marketing Hack
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Pint

Suggested per-donor is $100. Required donation to cover only non-alcoholic expenses is $5.87.

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Intelligence blunder: You wanna be Australia's spyboss? No problem, just walk right in

Marketing Hack
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IT Angle

Re: Automatic revocation?

That's a very cynical description of the process. I'm sure ASIS IT was right on top of this as soon as Intelligence Librarian 2nd Class Dick Warner sent in a help desk ticket stating that his login credentials seem to no longer be working.

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The police are WRONG: Watching YouTube videos is NOT illegal

Marketing Hack
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Pirate

This is frickin' ridiculous...

I didn't watch the jihadi snuff video in question, but I would consider it reviewing newsworthy material if someone else had a strong enough stomach to watch it. And of course there are the jihadi nimrods who are twisted enough that they probably get off on seeing the decapitation of a heretic. I wouldn't really go after them either, unless they are file-sharing the video or they are paying for access to the video (which could be argued as encouraging more violence via video)

The cops have to realize that watching old concentration camp videos does not make you genocidal, and watching a high-speed chase on TV doesn't make you a serial traffic offender. In short, we need to decouple watching some generic crime video from the criminal offense in question.

In a free society there is going to be stuff out there that I don't want to see, but you might want to see it. And of course the reverse is true.

(Pirate icon since we don't have a terrorist icon)

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Silicon Valley jolted by magnitude 6.1 quake – its biggest in 25 years

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I feel for the grocery store workers and wine cellars

I worked my way through college during the period when we had the Loma Prieta quake and a somewhat smaller one down near San Martin in the southern Bay Area.

Earthquakes make a mess of anything placed on shelves, especially if it is in glass containers.

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Galileo can't do the fandango: Two Euro GPS nav sats sent into WRONG ORBIT

Marketing Hack
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Joke

This would never have happened if the satellites...

were placed in orbit using proper GPS coordinates!

/rimshot

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True fact: 1 in 4 Brits are now TERRORISTS

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Unhappy

So, this is one of the most commented threads currently on the Register

My only comment is that I find it depressing that watching some part of the newsworthy, if brutal, video gets you put on the public enemies list.

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ISIS terror fanatics invade Diaspora after Twitter blockade

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Fortunately, our counter-terrorism media strategy has an answer!!

Just get ISIS to move their rants to Google+, and nobody will ever hear from them again!

Please mail my Nobel peace prize to...

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LOHAN packs bags for SPACEPORT AMERICA!

Marketing Hack
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Re: Ahh, New Mexico!

"Green chile enchiladas? Bring it on."

And get a real quesadilla while in New Mexico. Not that warmed over Taco Bell stuff you were talking about in you pub nosh article 6-8 months ago

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Oh wait--since as far as I can tell, nobody has already said this in this topic....

Spaceport America!! You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villiany. We must be cautious.

(OK, now that's done)

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Re: What about the Tabernamque?

I don't know about southern New Mexico (where White Sands and the spaceport is), but I know some really nice bars and restaurants in Albaquerque.

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Mushroom

Re: A Very Special Project

Sadly there are about 400-500 miles between White Sands and Area 51. Basically Arizona plus good-sized chunks of Nevada and New Mexico are in the way.

But maybe the nice people at White Sands will let the SPB team launch from the Trinity atomic test site! There's an obelisk or something there that marks the spot of the test, if you can find it amongst the radiation-mutated ants, spiders and jackrabbits!!

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Mushroom

Re: Explosives factory

The SPB/El Reg line of Christmas crackers??

(Icon in no way foreshadows future outcome of this enterprise)

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Marketing Hack
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Joke

Re: Standing by for Kickstarter

What about your unloved readers? How can we help??

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Marketing Hack
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And if the local officials give you any problems, you can always shave your head and change your nomme de guerre to Heisenberg.

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Re: Longburn

Don't make fun of the shark tank. I like being able to pick out my own marine predation system as if it were a lobster in a seafood restaurant!

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Hear ye, young cyber warriors of the realm: GCHQ wants you

Marketing Hack
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Black Helicopters

Re: Nominative determinism or in-joke. You decide.

And Mr. Ensor probably reports to the director, who is presumably named Stephen Pook or Norman Vasive...

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Boffins build CYBORG-MOTHRA but not for evil: For search & rescue

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Trollface

Eh, I think the Japanese way of controlling moths is better, but first you have to find two really tiny women who can sing.

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Ballmer leaves Microsoft board to spend more time with his b-balls

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Windows

@AC 101

Nah--I'd wait for Windows 1.0's next service pack before you do that!

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Windows

Hey Steve--stay classy, dude!!

"I love trying new products and sending feedback. I love reading about what is going on at the company. Count on me to keep ideas and inputs flowing."

Terrible way to leave the company--threatening them on the way out the door! :)

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e-Borders fiasco: Brits stung for £224m after US IT giant sues UK govt

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Facepalm

Typical government contract/contractor screw-up

The government keeps changing the spec, and the contractor keeps throwing expensive resources at the project, and then they sue the government when the pols cancel the contract.

FYI, Raytheon is QUITE well-prepared to take on these kind of legal challenges. They have developed very sharp elbows through a very long history in the DoD procurement wars in the U.S. They aren't ever easy to get rid of once they get their paws on a contract.

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This'll end well: US govt says car-to-car jibber-jabber will SAVE lives

Marketing Hack
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Why this is a bad idea....

1) A federally-mandated standard, that will be unduly influenced by the Departments of Justice, Homeland Security and Defense. I'd expect that by the time it is really done there will at least be required firmware upgrades that enable vehicle tracking and deactivation by the government.

2) When was the last time you saw a federally-mandated standard that was truly secure or that was elegantly designed instead of being a hash?

3) The new electronics and probable requirements to upgrade older cars going to markedly increase the cost of cars for the many poor Americans who rely on used cars and already suffer from the high cost/unavailability of transportation.

4) I can think of much cheaper ways to save 1000 traffic deaths annually. Examples: Clearing trees and parked cars from blind intersections. Traffic light-synchronized gates on actual problem intersections. More responsive public transportation and better zoning laws to improve commutes. the last one will also help reduce pollution.

5) Hackers using this to shut down roadways or spoof messages from car to car or insert ransomware.

6) Fix-it tickets because your car-to-car electronics are not working. Oh wait, they are--its the cops' RF detector that wasn't working or being used correctly.

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Re: And if it's an Audi

The Toyota Prius (Pious?) message:

I'm saving the planet and you're not! I'm saving the planet and you're not!!

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Assange™: Hey world, I'M STILL HERE, ignore that Snowden guy

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Childcatcher

Julian is leaving? What will the donut shops do without the hungry cops?

The last two years have probably led to an increase in Central London wasteband size and donut maker luxury car sales.

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Cracker takes control of 200 rooms in Chinese hotel

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Paris Hilton

Just as long as he didn't commandeer the vibrating beds!

Because that would start a lot of "Jeez, dear. I'm not in the mood." conversations....

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Why do Reg readers deserve the big bucks? Here's why...

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@Alpha Tony

It does rather look like somewhere that the Mad Hatter would hold a tea party...

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Edward Snowden's not a one-off: US.gov hunts new secret doc leaker

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Mushroom

@ Dropbear

That would explain why I am being upsold by ExplosivesRUs!!

"Dear Mr. Hack,

While most of our customers are happy to order C4, you're special. You're the kind of violent ideologue who expects only the best! Frankly, you seem like more of a Semtex man. And lucky for you this month we have a special...."

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Big Brother

Re: Quite funny actually

But they will probably still all be able to see our data!!

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Hacker crew nicks '1.2 billion passwords' – but WHERE did they all come from?

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@ Paul Crawford

Unfortunately, what we have learned from the Snowden leaks is that there is a good chance that the NSA/GCHQ knew about these vulnerabilities and didn't do anything about them, because it gives them an avenue to penetrate some of these corporations/websites when they want to.

"Hey, section leader. I've found that you can perform a SQL injection attack on (insert large global airline)'s reservations website and retrieve usernames and passwords. What should we do?"

"Hmmm, let's just keep that knowledge in-house for now. There must be tens of thousands persons of interest that use that site, and the intel value of knowing where they are going and when they are leaving has real intelligence value."

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Meh

Re: These hackers are monsters!!

Unfortunately, a real regulatory/professional qualification regime would never happen. There are too many companies who would rather have cheap IT than good IT, too many people in the industry who would run afoul of a lack of qualifications and too many former hard-core techies who have been bumped up to management/exec ranks and would be embarrassed to admit that their technical qualifications have gone by the wayside as they climbed the ladder.

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Marketing Hack
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Stop

These hackers are monsters!!

NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! Not my Hello Kitty Online password!!!

(More seriously, its a pretty huge indictment of current info security that good ol' SQL injection can still net so many victims.)

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Astounding: We're about to stick a probe in orbit of a COMET

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Pint

How do you say "AWESOME!!!" in European??

All I know how to say is "Can I get another beer?"

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US cyber-army's cyber-warriors 'cyber-humiliated by cyber-civvies in cyber-games'

Marketing Hack
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Go

It's the Army, so just turning on the computer probably involves a 5-page process!!

If you don't believe me, check the field manual!! :)

"Sir!, yes sir!! I have confirmation that the power strip is plugged into an operational 110 watt 13 amp outlet!! Shall I proceed?!"

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NASA tests crazytech flying saucer thruster, could reach Mars in days

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Boffin

Capt'in!! The engines have lost all power, and she cann'a take no more!!!!!

Damnit, Scotty!! I need engines if we are going to get to our rendevous with the nubile green space women of Coitus 5!!! Is there anything you can do!?

Well Capt'in, I can try to set up a propulsive momentum transfer via the quantum vacuum virtual plasma, but it will take 12 hours!

You have 6 hours, Mr. Scott!!

Aye Capt'in!!

(Yes, I watched WAAAYYYY too much Star Trek as a kid)

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Google's mysterious floating techno barge SOLD FOR SCRAP

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I knew it was a mistake to name the barge the SS Google+ !!

/rimshot

You guys are a great audience!! I'm here all week!!!

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GCHQ names the Hogwarts for Hackers

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Childcatcher

GCHQ certifies Hogwarts for infosec professionals??

In other news, Lord Voldemort has announced that he is opening a shelter for orphaned boys!!

(What could possibly go wrong!?!?!)

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NASA Mars rover FINALLY equals 1973 Soviet benchmark

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"That the vehicle is still fully functional more than eleven years after its launch is remarkable"

Shhhh!!! You'll jinx things talking about that! Especially considering that NASA bought a 12-year extended warranty when they got Opportunity, and we all know what happens when warranties expire...

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Philip K Dick 'Nazi alternate history' story made into TV series

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Black Helicopters

Heck, with all the state surveillance going on...

They can make this a reality show!!!

(I know, I know--Godwin's law)

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Russia: There is a SPACECRAFT full of LIZARDS in orbit above Earth and WE control it

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Alien

I think this was how the TV series "V" started...

A few years and a little cosmic radiation and BAM!!!--lizard-people overlords from space!!

Now we need to get a capsule full of hair stylists up there to get the returning conquerors their layered 80s coifs....

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Jurassic squawk: Dinos were Earth's early FEATHERED friends

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Re: So...

Especially when purple T-Rex leaps out of the foliage at you, stops, then shifts from foot to foot while singing "I love you. You love me...."

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Comcast bosses: THAT pushy sales rep was only obeying orders

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So that annoying Comcast rep was only following orders??

Not quite Nuremberg, but still not something to be proud of.

(God, I hate Comcast.)

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