Feeds

* Posts by Marketing Hack

2118 posts • joined 18 Jun 2009

Kip Thorne explains how he created the black hole for Interstellar

Marketing Hack
Silver badge
Devil

Re: That reminds me...

@ Boltar

OK, that was a cheapshot. However, I felt compelled to upvote you for it!

0
0

Happy 2nd birthday, Windows 8 and Surface: Anatomy of a disaster

Marketing Hack
Silver badge
Windows

Pride commeth before the fall....

"Microsoft and in particular Sinofsky saw that the Windows client was losing to simpler, safer, more usable devices like Apple’s iPad, especially in the consumer market."

But instead of offering this, MS over-engineered and delivered a user interface that Windows users found confusing and irritating!

And the ribbon interface was not a victory. Just because MS had something of a mortal lock on the office productivity suite market at the time and 95% of users had nowhere else to go does not make a gratuitous, poorly documented redesign of the UI a success!

12
0

In the next four weeks, 100 people will decide the future of the web

Marketing Hack
Silver badge
Happy

So many Thanksgiving-related analogies...I don't know where to start!!

Please choose the best from among these (admittedly very snarky) options:

A) By the end of the 27th, internet enthusiasts are going to think Thanksgiving turkeys got off easy...

B) On the 27th, families will finish this year's Thanksgiving dinner, while the CWG will start eating next year's...

C) Chances of the CWG being named as something to be thankful for during Thanksgiving 2015--nil

D) The CWG finishes its work on the 27th, and announces the results on the 28th--which by the way is known as "Black Friday" in the U.S.

E) CWG meetings--all the arguing of a family Thanksgiving, and probably with larger dinner and booze bills!!

F) The CWG--sure to serve up this Thanksgiving's biggest turkey!!

0
0

Adobe spies on readers: EVERY DRM page turn leaked to base over SSL

Marketing Hack
Silver badge
Stop

I hate DRM....

Have I said that I REALLY hate DRM? I mean, passionately?

No feature of modern electronic commerce and communication has done more than DRM has done to ruin the customer experience. From legitimizing spying on customers, to balky authentication servers, to the lawsuits against downloading grandmothers, DRM has been a customer nightmare from the start.

45
0
Marketing Hack
Silver badge
Trollface

Re: I must mention this to the wife

Just as long as she doesn't work at GCHQ. Then again, they may like people who identify with Mr. Grey.

1
0

Boffins who stare at goats: I do believe they’re SHRINKING

Marketing Hack
Silver badge

Re: By the way....

Wow. Downvoted for making a positive comment about a pretty innocuous movie?

These climate change threads really are getting touchy.

6
0
Marketing Hack
Silver badge
Thumb Up

By the way....

The Men Who Stare at Goats is a pretty funny movie!

4
3
Marketing Hack
Silver badge
IT Angle

Alpine goats are shrinking and Greenland wolf spiders are growing!

I wonder what the market for spider fur is going to be like in 50 years?

5
0

Guns don't scare people, hackers do: Americans fear identity theft more than shooting sprees

Marketing Hack
Silver badge
Holmes

Pretty understandable....

The chances of identity theft are fairly high, but for someone like me (White, suburban middle class) the chances of getting murdered in the U.S. are very low, despite what you see on TV.

4
0

MARS NEEDS WOMEN, claims NASA pseudo 'naut: They eat less

Marketing Hack
Silver badge
Joke

Re: Transgender?

When they return they can write their memoir--"The Fabulous Voyage"

0
0
Marketing Hack
Silver badge
Paris Hilton

Whoever suggested this has obviously never watched sci-fi movies....

Every movie fan knows that women in space are a problem. Whenever you find a slimy, tentacled extraterrestrial, the woman always runs away (slowly) and trips over some perfectly avoidable rock or rut in the ground. Then the men have to go back and rescue her, which invariably ends with the funniest guy getting eaten. This is a problem for me, because I am usually the funniest guy in the group. The good news is that the surviving guy and the woman usually find true love, I guess after being bonded by their near-death experience.

Or there are the spacewomen who are just plain snakebit, and wherever they go some terrible acid-blooded, chest-bursting-embryo-implanting alien nightmare shows up and starts killing everyone...

Thanks, but I'll go on the "stags in space" mission!!

0
0

Are you a gun owner? Let us in OR ELSE, say Blighty's top cops

Marketing Hack
Silver badge
Trollface

Re: Excellent, we need more of this, and fewer guns

I'm guessing the original AC on this comment is trolling. At least I hope this person is trolling...

1
0
Marketing Hack
Silver badge
Black Helicopters

These police powers seem pretty extreme to me...

Whenever this stuff happens, I start wondering if the more militant gun enthusiasts (who claim that the citizenry needs firearms to keep the government honest) don't actually have a point...

0
0

VMware, Cisco, EMC lovechild to live in Big Daddy EMC's house

Marketing Hack
Silver badge

The problem for Cisco is that they were overwhelmingly the minority investor...

Its not as if EMC really needs Cisco's cash, so they brought VCE in-house. That leaves Cisco in the awkward situation of being very much a junior partner in a venture that moves a good chunk of their UCS business, and EMC could go out searching for other computing/networking partners.

Still, on the whole its been a good investment for Cisco, its just that VCE may or may not be sustainable as a Cisco UCS sales channel.

0
0

Trips to Mars may be OFF: The SUN has changed in a way we've NEVER SEEN

Marketing Hack
Silver badge
Alien

I keep saying....

That I think the focus of the space program should be A) robotic exploration and B) finding ways to lift more mass into orbit more cheaply.

Robots have obvious benefits, and we need to be able to get more material into orbit to build the heavier spacecraft we need that not only offer more protection from cosmic rays, but are also more resistant to physical obstacles like micro-meteorites. Plus larger/heavier craft can carry more supplies in case missions run longer or need enhanced abilities to make some repairs in space.

Until then, it's going to be hard to colonize Mars/the Moon/space in general when all you have room to send is 3-5 people per mission.

3
2

Edward who? GCHQ boss dodges Snowden topic during last speech

Marketing Hack
Silver badge

He needs to add the bureaucrats, busybodies and deceivers...

To the proliferators, paedophiles and plotters. Then we'll have a fair account of the real dark side of the internet looks like.

2
0

Who will be Europe's privacy champion? Oh, go on then, Mr Deputy

Marketing Hack
Silver badge
Happy

If the Reg can come up with "Steelie Neelie"

You guys should be able to knock "Buttarelli" out of the park!

0
0

NOT OK GOOGLE: Android images can conceal code

Marketing Hack
Silver badge
Coat

What did you expect...

Everyone knows Google = The Matrix!

(Mine is the ankle length black leather jacket with the designer sunglasses in the pocket)

4
0

Apple grapple: Congress kills FBI's Cupertino crypto kybosh plan

Marketing Hack
Silver badge

The real measure is what happens AFTER the election...

The time to start cheering is when you see SERIOUS reform of the Patriot Act when it sunsets next year. Until then, its just so much talk.

4
0

STONER SHEEP get the MUNCHIES after feasting on £4k worth of cannabis plants

Marketing Hack
Silver badge
Happy

Could make for some very tender mutton....

"Our sheep are raised on a special stress-reducing diet, which you can taste in the final product."

Smiley face icon, because the sheep were no doubt feeling pretty groovy and copacetic afterwards...

0
0

Ex-US Navy fighter pilot MIT prof: Drones beat humans - I should know

Marketing Hack
Silver badge
Mushroom

Re: That had me worried

Until they got sucked into the engines!!

0
0
Marketing Hack
Silver badge
Boffin

Re: That had me worried@ Irongut

Given it's clarity, packing tape would have been a much better choice!

0
0

Routine WHAT NOW? Bank of England’s CHAPS payment system goes TITSUP

Marketing Hack
Silver badge
Happy

@ kain preacher

You obviously didn't read the story, or you would know that this is all about hiding your CHAPS!

0
0
Marketing Hack
Silver badge
Joke

Everyone knows....

A few CHAPS that are just no good!!

/rimshot

Thank you! I'm here all week!! (No, you don't have to be happy about that)

0
0

Origins of SEXUAL INTERCOURSE fished out of SCOTTISH LAKE

Marketing Hack
Silver badge
Unhappy

Ouch!!

"Meanwhile, the paper explained, the female of the species developed small paired bones to lock the male organs in place for mating."

History's first recorded coupling is also the first confirmed account of "vagina dentata"? Poor guys!!

0
0

Sophos to offshore American support operations

Marketing Hack
Silver badge
Stop

Lots of corporate doubletalk here....

OK, I can understand why a company would offshore work to somewhere that it can be done more cheaply, but let's not dress up a financially-motivated decision with transparent PR about how no jobs will be lost (unless you happen to be holding one of the ones that is being offshored) and how this will improve customer support (By getting rid of the experienced support personnel and replacing them with offshored labor)

1
0

Citizenfour: Poitras' doco is about NSA and GCHQ – NOT Snowden

Marketing Hack
Silver badge
Black Helicopters

Well, as anyone who has read my comments on the whole NSA expose can tell...

I've never been a big fan of the NSA and their self-appointed and completely opaque role atop data access in the U.S. and the world. So I will watch this documentary with a high degree of sympathy.

What's more concerning is listening to the description of Glenn Greenwald's conversion from bemused skeptic to tinfoil-hatted paranoid (and I say that in the best sense, as that is now pretty much where I am) in the space of a week.

10
1

French 'terror law' declares WAR on the INTERNET itself, say digi-rights folks

Marketing Hack
Silver badge

Re: Err.. hummm..

Derogatory measures = they fart in the internet's general direction!

1
0
Marketing Hack
Silver badge
Trollface

Re: block websites deemed to “incite” or “glorify” terrorism.

Its France, so to comply with the new law they can just re-dub V for Vendetta so that V spends the film offing gauche foreigners who like their filet mignons well-done and their coffee instant!!

0
0
Marketing Hack
Silver badge
Big Brother

Considering the number of French muslims in ISIS' leadership...

I can see where the concern comes from, but a modicum of proportionality shouldn't be too much to ask. This sounds like legislation that is soon to be abused because you questioned racial relations I. France, or holiday lengths, or organized some labor action, or accused the police of excessive force, and so on....

1
1

Experts brand LOHAN's squeaky-clean box

Marketing Hack
Silver badge

Yes, please don't bring any ebola into the U.S.

We have our own airlines to do that!!

2
1

FBI boss: We don't want a backdoor, we want the front door to phones

Marketing Hack
Silver badge
Stop

I guess Comey is creating a new role as director of the asshole patrol...

Enough of the bullshit, Comey, we're not convinced that you can manage your current powers without letting them go to your head, much less responsibly use new ones!

3
0

Prehistoric swingbelly KANGAROOS were TOO FAT to jump – scientists

Marketing Hack
Silver badge
IT Angle

No, no need to tie it down....

Sounds like a bag of donuts would have the desired effect on these 'roos!!

0
0

€2 BILLION: Steelie Neelie wants US to pay for her Big Data splurge

Marketing Hack
Silver badge
Headmaster

The definition of "servility"

Probably has something to do with getting the inmates to pay for their confinement!

5
0

To Russia With Love: Snowden's pole-dancer girlfriend is living with him in Moscow

Marketing Hack
Silver badge
Happy

I for one am happy for the pair of them if they are happy!

I have no idea if it is true love or not, but if they are happy, I am happy. Personally, I think what Snowden did was a brave thing, and I hope his GF fully supports him in it, even if it is hard to get fresh pineapple in Russia!

1
1

Dairy Queen cuts the waffle, says bank cards creamed in 395 eateries

Marketing Hack
Silver badge
Facepalm

Re: P K

I don't know about Dickian, but certainly a dick move!!

1
0

ROBOT TROUSER SNAKE stiffens to master slippery mounds

Marketing Hack
Silver badge
Holmes

"After a good deal of investigation, which involved painting reflective spots on some surprisingly cooperative rattlesnakes and videoing them in action."

Its amazing how cooperative everyone gets when you tell them they are going to be on TV!!

1
0

Wide-ranging UK DATA SHARING moves one step closer

Marketing Hack
Silver badge
Joke

Re: so we're back to ID cards again ...

"Time to not be called John Smith. I, for one, am glad of my unique combination of names ...."

I suppose this is a bad time to tell you that this initiative involves replacing your name with a UPC code tatooed on your forehead?

2
0
Marketing Hack
Silver badge
Go

Oh come on, Reg...

Emperor Palpatine swears that he needs these powers to preserve the republic, and that he will sunset them after the emergency has passed. Who are we to not take him at his word?! :)

5
0

SPLITTERS! Symantec cleft in twain

Marketing Hack
Silver badge
Go

Good!!

I won't go into the details of my time at Symantec and what we found out about combining the IT security business with datacenter software/storage, but this is a good move--just 9 years too late is all.

2
0

'MYSTERIOUS PYRAMID STRUCTURE' found on COMET beyond Mars: Landing planned

Marketing Hack
Silver badge
Flame

Re: Pyramid like?

Hey, I am your first contact with Marketeering!! (Not to be confused with Mouseketeering)

0
0

Hey, non-US websites – FBI don't have to show you any stinkin' warrant

Marketing Hack
Silver badge
Unhappy

Re: If the FBI hacked the foreign server

The FBI can get evidence from outside the country, but even if you spend your whole life in Outer Mongolia, once you appear in a U.S. court then your constitutional protections kick in, just the same as the most American of American citizens, who has never left Iowa or Kansas in his whole life.

I'd think it was pretty dangerous to essentially say "Well, the accused lived outside the U.S., so the preponderance of the evidence of his wrong-doing was outside the U.S., so we just grabbed that evidence outside the U.S. using "whatever means necessary", and now the accused has been extradited to the U.S. and is in the custody of this court."

1
0
Marketing Hack
Silver badge
Stop

I don't know the established case law....

But I do know the principal that constitutional protections apply to you as soon as you land in U.S. jurisdiction, and I think that applies to investigations that get extradited or produce evidence that is used against you in court. So I kind of think that the defense has a point that the evidence against Mr. Ulbricht was illegally obtained.

3
0

Chatting to Al Qaeda? Try not to do that – Ex spy chief defends post-Snowden NSA

Marketing Hack
Silver badge
Devil

"Asked by El Reg through a vetted question system what he most regretted about his time at the NSA, Alexander said it was the media's representation of the NSA's activities as conducted by "rotten people". He said NSA bods were dedicated individuals who shirked higher pay packets for careers spent "protecting the nation"."

Or perhaps they kind of get off on being able to bend the rules and participate in digital voyeurism. Quite frankly, the whole NSA enterprise is so secretive that we really have no idea why NSA employees serve and are given such power.

0
0

Adobe spies on readers: 'EVERY page you turn, EVERY book you own' leaked back to base

Marketing Hack
Silver badge
Flame

Here I was wondering....

How Adobe knew to contact me with helpful suggestions like "You might consider "Waikiki One-piece Wonders", the long-awaited sequel to "Busty Brazilian Bikini Babes" and "Topless in Tonga".

Really, does Adobe NEED to know what I am reading? I know that Adobe is a global software giant that wants their intellectual property rights protected, but do copyright holders in general just plain have Adobe by the short and curlies to the point that it spies on its customers? And why transmit this data unencrypted? Given what we learned post-Snowden, how much do you want to bet that it is open knowledge among global sigint agencies that you can exploit what Adobe is doing to get an idea of what people are reading?

And of course right behind the sigint agencies are the hackers and internet scammers skimming this information and devising some social engineering attack. "Wow! You like romance novels too!! You know what, I have this great interview where novelist X really opens up about her experience writing her "Patricia the Passionate" series and how she chose to set it during the Napoleonic Wars! Here, I'll email it to you. Just click on the attachment when you get the mail!"

It's bad enough that Adobe is doing this, but to do this with such shoddy security in this day and age is just unforgivably crap corporate behavior.

0
0

Countless Belkin routers go TITSUP in massive mystery meltdown

Marketing Hack
Silver badge
Black Helicopters

Ooooooooooooo!!!!

Can I be the first to say that it was the NSA or GCHQ, conducting a test of their Belkin router back door across the whole of the internet???

(The sad part is that you have to view that as at least something of a possibility....)

22
3

New EU data chief: 'We share common targets with the United States'

Marketing Hack
Silver badge
Black Helicopters

And of course you have to rely on whether or not U.S. agencies would be truthful...

Yeah, sure!, sure!! We'd never let our agreement with the EU be broken in the course of highly classified programs of which us U.S. negotiators will never be made aware of!

8
0

Man brings knife to a gun fight and WINS

Marketing Hack
Silver badge
Terminator

Re: Police robots?!

Or the Simpson's episode where the police have a robot disposing a bomb, and the robot cracks under the "cut the green wire or cut the blue wire" pressure, pulls out it's service revolver and shoots himself in the head. As I remember, Chief Wiggum then mournfully comments that the robot "only had 2 weeks until retirement".

(Can't fool me though, the Everett robot is no doubt acting incompetently to lull us meatbags into a false sense of confidence. Either that, or the robot was reprogrammed by the human resistance in the future, and then sent back to our time with a new-found respect for human life.)

1
0

Microsoft's nightmare DEEPENS: Windows 8 market share falling fast

Marketing Hack
Silver badge
Windows

I feel a little sorry for Redmond....

I'm still operating under the belief that an unpublished part of MS' settlement of monopolist charges with the U.S. Department of Justice is a requirement that, starting with XP, every second iteration of Windows desktop OS must be confusing, resource-gobbling bloatware.

Otherwise, I just can't understand why, only 5 years later, MS would sign up to repeat so many of the mistakes they made with Vista.

Who says that the DoJ let Microsoft off easy!!

0
0

JPMorgan Chase: 76 MILLION homes, 7 MILLION small biz thumped in cyber-heist

Marketing Hack
Silver badge
Boffin

Re: Scary Math.

JPMorgan is as big as a bank gets. Any bigger and they would have their own currency!

From the first paragraph of the Wikipedia article on JPM. It's Wikipedia, so this may or may not be complete bullshit :) (But it's not)

"JPMorgan Chase & Co. is an American multinational banking and financial services holding company. It is the largest bank in the United States, with total assets of US$2.515 trillion. It is a major provider of financial services, and according to Forbes magazine is the world's third largest public company based on a composite ranking.[4] The hedge fund unit of JPMorgan Chase is the second largest hedge fund in the United States.[5] The company was formed in 2000, when Chase Manhattan Corporation merged with J.P. Morgan & Co.[6]"

The good news for those of you who are overseas is that this looks a lot like their retail clientele got hacked, so probably far fewer parties outside the U.S. are at risk than might have otherwise been the case.

2
0