* Posts by Marketing Hack

3551 posts • joined 18 Jun 2009

VCs to Trump: You know what would really make America great? Tax breaks for VCs

Marketing Hack
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Instead, how about we simplify both the corporate and individual tax codes and tighten down H1-B programs that are abused to replace American workers?

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Violin Memory axes staff just before Christmas, gives CFO $150k bonus

Marketing Hack
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I wonder how many people got axed to pay for the CFO's bonus?

Most companies set fairly strict compensation budgets, especially if they are struggling. So I am thinking that 3-4 Violinistas got let go so that Mr. CFO could get his $150K bonus.

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HMS Queen Lizzie to carry American jets and sail in support of US foreign policy

Marketing Hack
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We'll let you give us your ship...

That name will have to go though, what with inherited titles being unconstitutional in the U.S. and all. How about "Elizabeth Windsor", or more cheekily "Martha Washington"?

More seriously, Britain does benefit from reinforcing freedom of navigation in the south China sea. Most of your commerce with Taiwan/Japan/Korea travels through those waters. Also, this woulnt be happening if Britain built enough ships to protect its carriers, and kept planes to equip them.

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Still too much discretion when it comes to that 'terrorism' stuff, repeats David Anderson QC

Marketing Hack
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Re: Huh ?

It's the usual "capital syndrome". The farther away a citizen is from the seat of power, the cheaper life becomes.

On the bright side, if an earthquake wipes out Northern Ireland and the Orkenys, your chances of getting the most help are pretty good.

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Marketing Hack
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Re: Don't blame Snowden, blame GCHQ

Yes, somebody please buy a plot of land outside GCHQ's donut and put an Edward Snowden statue there. I'm American, so I will work on the same thing outside the Fort Meade main gate.

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Europol cop took terror dossier home, flashed it to the web accidentally

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I was going to congratulat Europol on firing the dope in question...

But then I read further and saw that said officer has been returned to the national law enforcement agency he escaped from in the first place.

If he was from a small country, you can probably tell which by looking and by-country arrest info for a sudden drop in arrests.

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Netflix and fill – our coffers: Canada mulls taxing vid streaming giant 5% of subs cash

Marketing Hack
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Re: Fucking Politicians

@Gis Bun

How much do you want to bet that the 5% excise tax on Canadian Netflix is at least partly because nobody buys CDs anymore? Its just like "sin taxes" in the U.S., supposedly put in place to divert Americans away from "demon rum" and smoking. Right up until people actually cut back their drinking and smoking, then the government starts raising other taxes because they got used to pocketing the tobacco and alcohol tax revenues.

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Marketing Hack
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Re: 5% of revenue earned in Canada, or 5% of all revenue?

I'd imagine it is 5% of each Canadian customers monthly Netflix bill.

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Marketing Hack
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Linux

Re: Fucking Politicians

@PushF12

The Canadian content mafia?

"Nice video stream you got there, eh? It would be a shame if something happened to it, but we can do something a-boot that."

(Tux--because if you squint he kind of looks like a ptarmigan.)

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Nutanix makes thundering great loss, stock market hardly blinks

Marketing Hack
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Re: So

And even ignoring their last, horrendous quarter, for the past 4-6 quarters their losses have been growing almost as rapidly as their revenues have. Doesn't look promising to me, barring some spending cutbacks or improvements in their processes and business model.

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What's the first emotion you'd give an AI that might kill you? Yes, fear

Marketing Hack
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Mushroom

Just program the AI to never press that big red button.

What's the worst that could happen?

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Has Canadian justice gone too far? Cops punish drunk drivers with NICKELBACK

Marketing Hack
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Trollface

Cruel and unusual punishment!!

Thank goodness it wasn't Loverboy, that would make perps' brains liquify and leak out their ears.

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Give BAE a kicking and flog off new UK warships, says review

Marketing Hack
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Re: Canada

I'm sure the cast off vessels that Canada buys from Britain move just fine when they are pointed downhill....wait a second.

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Marketing Hack
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"Mr. Phipps, you have the watch. I'll be down in the casino."

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Marketing Hack
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Black Helicopters

Re: Chinese' Fisher would be turning in his grave these days...

But that was before Nazi sympathizers in the British upper class formed BAE!

(Cut to the inside of a furnished bunker, muffled shellfire is heard outside, the impacts causing occasional patches of dust to drift down from the ceiling. On a couch, Adolf Hitler is holds a pistol in one hand while contemplating a picture of Winston Churchill held in the other.)

"You may have beaten me today, Churchill, but my agents will cripple Britain eventually!! MUAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"

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ExoMars probe snaps photos of your next dystopian home world when Earth goes to crap

Marketing Hack
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Alien

Re: Beers all round

Which camel? The one next to the dune buggy?

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Internet Archive preps Canadian safe haven to swerve Donald Trump

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Paris Hilton

"Libraries like ours are susceptible to different fault lines," the organization states. "Earthquakes, legal regimes, institutional failure."

Hurricane Donald?

(Paris, because I don't think she has ever had a storm named after her.)

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Heard of Brexit? The UK vows to join Europe’s Patent Titanic

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Devil

"The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers"

More proof that Shakespeare really IS the greatest playwright of all time!! :)

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Vegans furious as Bank of England admits ‘trace’ of animal fat in £5 notes

Marketing Hack
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I'll take 5 Pound notes off the hands of vegans for free, because I sincerely care about them being able to live their tallow-free dream.

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Microsoft goes all Tiananmen Square on its Chinese AI assistant

Marketing Hack
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Happy

The Simpsons did it!!

http://i.imgur.com/XVSH3CZ.jpg

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Creaking Royal Navy is 'first-rate' thunders irate admiral

Marketing Hack
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Stop

Better build more ships, Britain!

"each carrier will need, at the very least, both a frigate and a destroyer as escorts; the frigate to detect submarines, the destroyer to maintain an anti-aircraft screen"

Um, barring actual wartime emergency brought on by casualties, the U.S. navy would never put a CVN to sea with just one anti-submarine and one air-defense ship as an escort, even assuming that the RN will also have an attack sub accompanying the carrier on an outer anti-sub/shipping ring. One air defense ship is basically begging anything that can launch 20-40 sea-skimming missiles to turn your new carrier into the world's largest fish tank sunken galleon. Plus only a couple anti-sub escorts increases the chance that a sub will get close enough to use guided torpedoes.

I guess Britain's future wartime naval/naval aviation strategy is to message the nearest U.S. carrier group with "Going my way?" at the start of hostilities?

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Geo-boffins say 'quake lifted bits of New Zealand by 8 metres, moved at 3km/second

Marketing Hack
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Small pro-tip for Kiwis, in case you haven't heard this one.

If, like my household, you have a hutch or cabinets with glassware and nice plates in it, wire that shut between parties/events. You'll save lots of keepsakes that way. I have another set of kitchen cabinets with all the expendable stuff that gets everyday use.

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Marketing Hack
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Re: yeah

So much of earthquake damage and casualties comes down to construction techniques. In Chile, they use a lot of wood-framed stucco and plaster, where the frame flexes and maybe some stucco cracks or plaster flakes off. In Haiti, the local forests have been cut down decades ago for firewood, and non-shanty buildings are made of adobe, masonry and usually-not-correctly-reinforced concrete. That stuff shakes apart pretty quickly, then collapses on everyone inside--call the rescue team and the morgue, in that order.

New British immigrants who come to live in the San Francisco Bay Area where I am always wonder why the houses are made of wood or wood and stucco. They usually start off thinking it is because Americans like to build things cheap and/or because of a societal indifference to building centuries-old landmarks that British are used to. But Brits who have lived in California for awhile come to realize that the real reason is to prevent your home collapsing on you during quakes.

The big danger in America is the New Madrid fault complex along the mid-Mississippi River. That last let go in the first decade of the 19th century, when very few people lived out there and those that did lived in log and wood buildings. A new quake like that one would be a true disaster, as the last I heard the area from St. Louis to Memphis is full of brick and unreinforced concrete construction and has made little progress in updating seismic building codes

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Marketing Hack
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Boffin

So how was New Zealand created?

If the country is basically a mountain range created by the subduction of one plate under another tectonic plate, then 7.8 quakes are actually reasonably-sized. Expect quakes up into the 8.0 to 8.5 range--ouch.

Has anyone looked comprehensively at the geologic history for evidence of past quakes and tsunamis?

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'Data saturation' helped to crash the Schiaparelli Mars probe

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Mushroom

Seems like the system could have been a little more roboust

So a disagreement in data between sensors for 1-2 seconds cause the parachute to be discarded and the retros to stop firing?

Even if the computer made a momentary calculation that the probe had landed, wouldn't it be safer to reduce thrusters and retain the chute until landing had been confirmed?

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USS Zumwalt gets Panama tug job after yet another breakdown

Marketing Hack
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Fortunately for $4.4 billion, we get the extended warranty

At least I hope we do.

(Can we get a shoveling money into a bonfire icon?)

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LAKE OF frozen WATER THE SIZE OF NEW MEXICO FOUND ON MARS – NASA

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Allow us to sum this up: UK ISP Plusnet minus net for nine-plus hours

Marketing Hack
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Devil

In other news...

Comcast has announced that its acquisition of Plusnet closed today!

(Oh come on, you knew that a dig at Comcast was coming, or at least warranted.)

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Dyn Dyn Dyn – we have a buyer: Oracle gobbles Internet of Things DDoS victim

Marketing Hack
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Devil

Business process...

1) Oracle IDs Dyn as a potential acquisition

2) Oracle balks at the price

3) Larry hires McDDoS to damage Dyn's brand for quality and reliability

4) Oracle makes an offer based on the reduced price

5) Profit!

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Facebook to hire 500 more in Blighty

Marketing Hack
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It would be nice to see some tech jobs outside London

Even putting more in Basingstoke would be an improvement. But then, FB really only hires millenials, and they love their urban lifestyles.

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Qualcomm now offering US$15k for security bugs

Marketing Hack
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Good for Qualcomm!!

I'm glad they are taking this somewhat seriously. I'd prefer the bounty to be closer to $25K, given the ubiquity of Qualcomm's chips. However, $15K is reasonable.

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Surveillance camera compromised in 98 seconds

Marketing Hack
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Facepalm

Yay for the apocalypse!

I thought humanity would get taken down by amoral robots, but with IoT toasters and baby monitors, Skynet may never get its chance!

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AI can now tell if you're a criminal or not

Marketing Hack
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Holmes

Pre-crime!!

"Mr. Marketing Hack--you are under arrest for the future murder of proper syntax and logic during your posts on The Register..."

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Helping autonomous vehicles and humans share the road

Marketing Hack
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Autonomous vehicles would be incapable of making many of the moral decisions discussed

Hell, people can't tell whether one pedestrian is a serial killer and the next is a physician on the cusp of curing cancer. And if the car is programmed to avoid a younger person and hit an older one if the choice is forced upon it, how does the car make the decision of who is young and who is old? Does the car look for a person with difficulties in their gait, which may just be due to a twisted ankle or a pedestrian who is distracted while walking?

I'd imagine an autonomous car would be able to get a fairly accurate count of a group of people, and decide to take some other course of action than plowing into that group. However, there are environmental conditions or even a fault in the car's electronics that might cause a car to mistake some other object(s) for a group of people.

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The encryption conundrum: Should tech compromise or double down?

Marketing Hack
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Trump can't force Apple to knuckle under using current law/court rulings

Now, he can push for the passage of new laws, and those would stand unless they were unconstitutional. Of course, what is constitutional or not can take a long time to establish and may not break the President's way.

Trump can also perhaps get some favorable rulings in different situations or different federal circuit courts than the ones that were involved in the San Bernadino case, where it definitely looked like judge was going to side with Apple until the FBI withdrew its request.

The actual problem is that the tech industry is heavily anti-Trump and anti-Republican in general, so the Republicans don't have a lot other than tax revenue to lose by torpedoing industry sales through forced collusion with the government.

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Smart meter benefits even crappier than originally thought

Marketing Hack
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Re: She's been conned!

@Olip,

The good news is that your mom's smartmeter is now part of the Mirai botnet. If she asks nicely, they will probably cut her a small annual check in return for her not changing that WiFi password.

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Experts to Congress: You must act on IoT security. Congress: Encourage industry to develop best practices, you say?

Marketing Hack
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Trollface

You see, these IT security experts approached this testimony in the wrong way...

Now, if before testifying Schneier and Co. had hired DDoS R' Us to take down U.S. political fundraising websites, THAT would have engendered a sufficient sense of urgency.

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UK warships to have less firepower than 19th century equivalents as missiles withdrawn

Marketing Hack
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Um, no. A modern 4.5 inch gun or even the 5 inch guns on American ships definitely does not outgun or outrange a WW2 battleship. They are probably more than enough to deal with Somalian pirates or Iranian speedboats though.

This is kind of embarrassing. Not the same service or even the same reality, but the words of one of the space marines from "Aliens" comes to mind: "What are we supposed to use? Harsh language?"

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China gets mad at Donald Trump, threatens to ruin Apple

Marketing Hack
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And theres the deficit

Which China funds and Trump wants to increase. China would lose a lot doing it, but they could dump their U S treasury holdings and spike interest rates. I would have preferred a candidate that got our deficit spending in order, and then went after Chinese imports.

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FCC wants a word with AT&T about that zero-rated DirecTV streaming

Marketing Hack
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Unfortunately...

The FCC's attempts to rein in various Pay TV and ISP providers is probably going to be undone by the new Trump administration. Free market and all that, except for ISP customers.

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Red squirrels! Adorable, right? Wrong – they're riddled with leprosy

Marketing Hack
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God Bless Ronald Reagan!!

Have you considered that it was around the fall of the Berlin Wall that those commie red squirrels started getting displaced by good, God-fearing American squirrels? And now that Trump is in the White House, the last red hangers-on have developed leprosy!!

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Marketing Hack
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Re: If it gets desperate enough to eat

Vegetarians aren't nearly as cute either.

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Marketing Hack
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Boffin

Re: As I once heard....

Pigeons are rats with wings, and the hideous offspring of escaped parakeets and sewer rats.

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Britain must send its F-35s to Italy for heavy overhauls, decrees US

Marketing Hack
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Because the Pentagon looked at the way Airbus puts planes together and said....

"Hey, we want some of that!!"

Every nation in the consortium has to get their cut of the work.

And The Donald talking about cancelling the F-35 program may be one of the more lucid things he's said.

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Silicon Valley VCs: We're gonna make California great again – on its own

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I'm moving to Reno if we get Calexit...

Self-indulgent, whiny, university-educated drama queens who are lousy Americans.

If Hillary had won and Wyoming or South Carolina had suggested secession (v2.0 for South Carolina!), Hillary supporters would have been laughing at them. Plus when these high-paid dolts leave and take California's safe, blue-state status with them, they screw over their democrat friends remaining in the rest of the country. I guess its solidarity for me, but not for thee!

And no, I'm not a Trump supporter, but I do believe in our system.

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Kotkin: Why Trump won

Marketing Hack
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Re: It's not "why", it's "how"

Somehow denying Donald the election is not going to happen:

1) When you put your "X" next to the Donald's name, you are actually choosing his slate of electors to represent your state in the college. Donald names his slate of electors for each state. Who are the most rabid Donald supporters in your state?--you'll find a good number of them by looking at the Donald's slate of electors.

2) Congress is controlled by Republicans and is going to wave the results out of the Electoral College through. Donald won the Presidency, and while a lot of Republicans in Congress would have preferred Jeb Bush or Ben Carson or somebody else, if they wave the Donald through they get to pass bills out of Congress and Donald will pretty much sign all of them. The only check on this is if the Dems can hold together a filibuster in the Senate. If Congress fails to validate the results out of the college, then they lose President Trump, his campaign and his more vociferous supporters, split the Republican Party, and look like loons bringing on constitutional chaos.

Meanwhile there is still Hillary Clinton in the wings with support of a tiny majority of the American electorate, much of big business and wall street and all of the media and entertainment industries. Congressional Republicans who think they can deny the Donald and put one of their own in the Oval Office would be playing right into the Democrat's hands

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Tech Trump: Silicon Valley steps into the valley of unhappiness

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Big Brother

One other thing that is a big concern...

Digital snooping by the United States. Obama at least made some small moves towards greater transparency and less surveillance. Trump and his team are pretty much all "Have to break some civil liberties eggs to make the counter-terrorism omelet" guys though. So I am waiting for the NSA to get permission to once more operate with complete impunity, instead of near-impunity.

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Marketing Hack
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Facepalm

Definition of "Uncomprehending"

"If you’re not fucking pissed right now, what is wrong with you?" he yelled at attendees - most of whom don't live in the US.

Maybe, like me, they were Americans who looked at both candidates as bad options, and were indifferent to the outcome between them. Maybe they were Trump supporters. However, most of them were not U.S. citizens and might be a little concerned or fearful, but hardly mad at the results.

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Trump's taxing problem: The end of 'affordable' iPhones

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IT Angle

@Yarr

Consider the many transferable skills professional drivers would bring to IT jobs:

1. High tolerance for long stretches of repetitive activity--check!

2. Familiarity with energy-enhancing drinks and products-check!

3. Comfort with unreasonable delivery dates - check!

This is sounding like a better idea all the time :)

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McDonald's sues Italian city for $20m after being burger-blocked

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Re: Its not just American tourists

@Kubla Cant

That's part of my point though. McDonalds is rather cheap and very quick, and most people don't consistently have the time or money for a nice sit-down meal. And that holds true whether you are in Orleans or New Orleans.

Their food is not great, I personally don't like their burgers and milkshakes, but they found a market niche and they did a fairly masterful job of meeting that need.

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