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* Posts by Marketing Hack

2048 posts • joined 18 Jun 2009

NASA's MAVEN enters Mars orbit to sniff its gas

Marketing Hack
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Stop

So MAVEN DIDN'T crash into the Indian probe?

International incident avoided!! (But keep that collision coverage paid up, NASA!)

Icon indicates adherence to Martian traffic laws.

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Spies would need SUPER POWERS to tap undersea cables

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Re: Remember the Halibut

Yes, but the NSA essentially used to be the Navy. Just as GCHQ took over the Bletchley Park organization, the NSA's forerunner was the U.S. navy's cryptography unit at Pearl Harbor--the guys who broke the Japanese JN series naval codes in time for Midway. That's part of the reason that there is still a big NSA operation on Oahu, which in turn was where Snowden was working.

It's also one of the reasons why it used to be common for the head of the NSA to be a serving admiral.

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Holmes

Unfortunately,

-It's already been documented that the NSA/U.S. Navy tapped Soviet undersea fiber-optic cables during the Cold War.

-International telecoms companies have SOOOOO many pressure points that can be used by spy agencies to get access to fiber without sending a sub. Need a fat check out of the black ops budget? We can do that. Need your next fiber-optic cable route approved by the U.S. government or a U.S. ally? We can do that. Need to win that government/government contractor data comms contract that is coming up next year? We can help you with that. Need regulatory approval for some terrestrial or wireless telecoms deployment or a merger or an overseas expansion? We can make sure the White House/Downing Street/whoever will weigh in for you or not weigh in against you.

And if none of that works, you can always break out the submarine and tap the cable Cold War-style.

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Nearly there! LOHAN Kickstarter pot o'gold breaks £29,000

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I just checked Kickstarter and....

The goal of 30,000 Pounds has been reached!! Congratulations, SPB!

Time to place those reservations at the Las Cruces or Truth or Consequences Best Western!!

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JINGS! Microsoft Bing called Scots indyref RIGHT!

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"I'm sure we can smuggle a few breeding pairs across the border and release them on to some moorland down here. Then we could hunt them on horseback with packs of hounds,"

We're not talking about breeding pairs of Scots here, are we??

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Tipping points in political allegiances happen.... For example, before the American Revolution John Adams successfully defended in court various British troops who had shot anti-royalist demonstrators, and Benjamin Franklin spent months in Britain trying to get the crown and Parliament to sign off on a compromise that gave colonials representation in Parliament and worrying that independence would impact American's ability to appreciate Shakespeare.

Six and two years later, respectively, they were signing off on the Declaration of Independence, an act for which other signatories that were captured by the British were imprisoned and tortured.

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Re: Is Scotland too small to survive on its own?

If the sheep are so important to national wealth and power, someone better ask them where they stand on Scottish independence? Wouldn't want to vote one way and then find out the sheep are thinking "Screw ewe!! Independence is a wooly proposition and a baaaa'd idea!"

Careful of the sheep fifth column, Scots!!

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Go

@Breen Whitman

Yes, the imminent cornering of the haggis market. I can see it now....

"Hah, you shites!! You're gonna pay me now if ye want yer haggis!!.......(silence).........Come on now, queue up over here if ye want some!.....................Awwww, yeh feckin' jobbies!! Yeh don't know what's good when yeh see it!!"

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IT Angle

The scary part is the realization that there aren't many Scottish IT workers BECAUSE they are more rational than the general population. There are probably a few Scottish sysadmins being hunted down with baying hounds right now, or perhaps being slowly roasted over a campfire of captured Linux documentation.

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Childcatcher

Re: YES !

@ I ain't Spartacus,

Yes, many is the time I have seen news reports of lonely Scottish villages laid waste by royal whim. Usually there is a lone traumatized survivor muttering "The corgis....the horrible, horrible corgis!"

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Re: "Scotland would probably ally with France"

@Arnaut the less

That has me imagining some kind of haggis/poutine hybrid dish. I can feel my arteries hardening at the thought!!

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Jihadi terrorists DIDN'T encrypt their comms 'cos of Snowden leaks

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FAIL

But.....but......but.....

Out leaders ASSURED us that the terrorists were changing their behavior because of that disloyal blabbermouth Snowden! And you know he is working for the Russians, or maybe it was the Chinese. Anyway, I forget, and its not like the details are important. What is important is that Snowden is working for "the other" in some manner, and that our intelligence agencies are completely trustworthy and have in no way captured the politicians who are supposed to oversee them and civilian knowledge of the many things they assure us they do in our service is not only unnecessary but harmful to us, the citizenry.

And while we're at it, the spooks are trying to unload this used Pontiac that had one previous, careful owner...

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Wanna keep your data for 1,000 YEARS? No? Hard luck, HDS wants you to anyway

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Big Brother

Why go to all that trouble!!

Just throw around a few mentions of jihad and Al Qaeda and a fictitious friendship with Angela Merkel and the NSA will hang onto your data in perpetuity!!

Your tax Dollars at work!!!

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Rejoice, Blighty! UK is the TOP of the WHOLE WORLD ... for PHISHING

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"Mimicking organizations like the Royal Bank of Scotland"...

The way poor Brits are abused by their banking sector, these mails aren't phishing, they are probably just direct appeals for taxpayer money while cutting out the political middleman.

"Dear British Citizen,

Please send us your money. We could of course go to the government and get your money, but that involves a lot of threats and lobbying for us, and then you feeling bad about your political system. We would much prefer that you accept the inevitability of us getting our hands into your wallet, and make a personal decision to surrender your cash accordingly. The good news is that since we are a major bank, we take credit cards, cash, loose change--whatever you've got in your pockets. Please mail your remittance to....."

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Infosec geniuses hack a Canon PRINTER and install DOOM

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My reaction...

A) A little frustrated and scared, as another vulnerable network endpoint is found

B) This could be a great way to improve the user experience associated with the average office printer. I for one would find a user interface where you figuratively chain-sawed other user's jobs out of the queue, so you can get your stuff printed.

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Snowden, Dotcom, throw bombs into NZ election campaign

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Black Helicopters

In reality, in the public perception it doesn't really matter what the spies are actually up to...

Because there have been so many weasel words, half-truths, untruths, we-can-tell-you-but-we'd-have-to-kill-you, anyone-in-favor-of-snowden-is-enabling-terrorists, red herrings, straw men, pay-no-attention-to-the-man-behind-the-curtain and other various misdirection used that nobody is going to believe the pols are not mass surveilling New Zealand. And the pols don't dare force the intelligence communities to actually come clean about what is tapped, where its tapped, what info is gathered from the taps and how that info is used and retained.

Right now you can probably get away with saying that "person X was killed by the government because he knew too much about mass surveillance of the public".

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Brit telcos warn Scots that voting Yes could lead to HEFTY bills

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Re: Number ranges

The U.S., Canada and the Tijajuana, Mexico area all share one numbering plan. So far without coming to blows over it. We save that kind of stuff for important stuff, like 'Leafs vs. Redwings hockey games....

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Stop

That's a bit too much intervention from BT in the vote

I can understand why any company would rather deal with one regulatory/legal framework than two, but the idea that there is going to be some kind of immediate impact on things like previously auctioned spectrum is a farce. For one thing, even the most anti-BT Scots are not going to want to tear up existing spectrum allocations, because tomorrow they would have their cellphone-using neighbors camped out on their doorsteps, wanting to politely express a certain level of frustration over why their cell service is no longer working.

Maybe BT hired Edward Longshanks as their Exec VP of Scottish Customer Relations??

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US! govt! ordered! Yahoo! to! hand! over! user! data! or! pay! $250k! fine! PER! DAY!

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It might eventually force the government to back down, but in the meantime numerous Yahoo! execs will be getting thrown into jail for contempt of court and the government might even force the company into liquidation.

No exec team is going to take that stand.

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Re: @ratfox

Yahoo! is publicly listed in the U.S., which means its officers have a fiduciary responsibility toward shareholders' money, including the profits. If it came out that Yahoo! management was accepting fines resulting in a 25% hit to profits in order to perpetuate a legal conflict with the NSA and FISC, they would get their asses sued by this time tomorrow.

Yahoo!'s management might well win the resulting public relations war, but they'd get their clocks cleaned in the shareholder lawsuit, up to and including ending some Yahoo! executive's careers.

People can't ask them to fight it out with the U.S. government under those circumstances.

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Meh

Well, Yahoo! seems to have been thoroughly penetrated by the NSA, but

You have to give them some credit for being willing to push things to the point that the government threatened them with a $250K-a-day fine for non-compliance with what sounds like ONE data request. So they didn't just completely roll over.

On the other hand:

-Yahoo! pages spoofed by the NSA to phish for real, alledged or imaginary bad guys? Check

-Yahoo! chat text compromised by the NSA? Check

-Yahoo! video chat stills grabbed by the GCHQ? Check

-Yahoo! mail accounts accessible by the NSA? Check

-Fiber-optic cables carrying inter-datacenter Yahoo! traffic compromised by NSA? Check

-Yahoo! dragging it's feet too much on encrypting inter-datacenter traffic once fiber-optic taps disclosed? Check

So, the verdict seems to be Yahoo! had (hopefully still has) some legal backbone to fight the NSA and it's masters, but Yahoo!'s IT security is not so great.

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DUCKCROCZILLA 'alien' dinosaur could emerge from THE SEA

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Alien

Re: Huge beast

I, sub-leader Zorton of the Hydra Galaxy, deny that aliens from outer space exist. You must believe this to be true, no matter how well that would explain certain behaviors among your "celebrity" caste. Any further questions on this subject will be dealt with through attitude remodulation.

Communication terminated!

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Sun's MASSIVE solar storm belch to light up Earth's skies

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Alien

As C. Montgomery Burns once said...

"Since the beginning of time man has yearned to destroy the sun!"

Looks like el Sol is launching a pre-emptive strike!!

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James Bond's metal-toothed nemesis Richard Kiel dies at 74

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Re: Miss the bloke, not the (Bond) films

I thought the Man with the Golden Gun was pretty good!

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Found inside ISIS terror chap's laptop: CELINE DION tunes

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Re: Celine Dion tunes?

@Fungus Bob

No, the crafty Canucks learned long ago how to inflict this kind of cultural sabotage on the U.S. while maintaining plausible deniability. They've been doing it since at least the Anne Murray era. Canada produces these weapons of artistic destruction, then gets them to move to the U.S. once the cultural chaos starts. That's why Celine Dion is now living in Las Vegas and Justin Bieber always seems to be in the United States when he is caught under the influence or starting bar fights.

Well played, Canada...well played. However, Uncle Sam will have his revenge when the next film in the Transformers franchise oozes across our northern border!!

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Re: Celine Dion tunes?

To be fair, the West brought this on ourselves when Celine Dion songs were used during CIA black site sleep deprivation sessions. That's obviously led to an unintentional equation of listening to these songs as a badge of courage among hardened jihadis, and further to their use in conditioning ISIS recruits against the worst that western intelligence agencies can do to them.

"Insh'Allah, Brother! Here is the infidel Celine's greatest hits album. If you can live through listening to this, then you are truly ready for jihad!"

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Celine Dion tunes?

More proof that ISIS are enemies of civilization and that they must be stopped, regardless of the cost. To war!!!

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LOHAN invites ENTIRE REG READERSHIP to New Mexico shindig

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Childcatcher

I would go if there was an opportunity to see the launch!

Not sure I would fly 1000 miles just to go to a beer bust with a bunch of techies though, even if I could meet playmonaut. You see, that kind of post-work hedonism never happens in Silicon Valley, and I wouldn't want to be thought of as bringing bachanalian outside influences into the restrained and respectful work environment we have here.

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I guess they might still be using hydrogen for the balloon, though being in the good ol' US of A, helium would be more of a practical alternative. Especially considering the launch site is right next door to the Permian basin, from whence a lot of U.S. helium production comes.

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City hidden beneath England's Stonehenge had HUMAN ABATTOIR. And a pub

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Re: Have a pint on me!

Long-pig, the other white meat!

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Re: Have a pint on me!

That should probably be "Have a pint, not me."

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Re: So basically...

Grab that pint to-go, or you may find yourself staying for dinner!!

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Trollface

Everything old is new again...

"ancients were also shown to have dug large pits, some of which may have been arranged to align with the stars, and drunk beer, judging by the presence of a load of ale pots."

So kind of like Friday night in any modern major British city center?

BOOM!!!! Yes, I went there!!!!

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Scottish independence: Will it really TEAR the HEART from IT firms?

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Re: Sod the IT arguments

@ Shoot them Later

Yes, but what you are asking would mean Westminster would have to give up power and listen to the governments of various regions. Magic 8-ball says the chances of that happening are somewhere between "indications point to no" and "forget it, kid"

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Re: What’s in a name?

Liz isn't going to be happy if she is booted out as Scottish head of state and forced to sell Balmoral!

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Smart meters in UK homes will only save folks a lousy £26 a year

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Re: Irrelevant

@ Commander Galaxian

Even if everyone voted yes, you'd still be added to the official list of dissenters. Except that now you will be forced to eat a plate of haggis in repentence!!

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Satellite weather forecast: Cloudy with a chance of p0wnage

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Unhappy

You see, this is the kind of stuff that discredits government-led initiatives...

Fair or not, this kind of news (which should definitely be reported) leads to the drip-drip-drip of the credibility of U.S. government institutions to manage complex projects. Its just a shame that quality control and design is not more robust on these projects.

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TROUT and EELS in SINISTER PACT to RULE the oceans

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Go

Instead of ISIS--ESES!!

Eels Seeking Extra Snacks

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Show us your Five-Eyes SECRETS says Privacy International

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Trollface

GCHQ canteen menu selections--you saw it here first!!!

-Hash we made out of civil liberties, served with eggs of expediency

-"We're watching you" eye of round with surveillance side salad

-Vegan (Like we know those troublemakers at Human Rights Watch eat) burger with paranoia pasta salad

-Above the law albacore tuna sandwich with side of tyranny tater tots

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Snowden shouldn't be extradited to US if he testifies about NSA spying, says Swiss gov

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WTF?

Re: It's a long way

How the Hell did we get off on a War of 1812 tangent?

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Re: Nice idea in theory, but...

I think you are dealing with wishful thinking here. Bolivian President Evo Morales is a well known "power to the people" socialist. So is Francois Hollande of France, and he didn't hesitate for a second to throw his internationalist comrade Morales under the bus. There wasn't even a complaint from the Elysees Palace when Morales was forced down. And France has, how should I say it, the reputation for not always being the most tractable U.S. ally. Rather likewise Spain, who still views itself a bit as a mother country to Bolivia and most of the South American republics. They didn't squawk about shutting Morales out either. And Austria--almost a poster child for non-aligned nations in Europe, but they didn't complain a bit about forcing a search of Morales' plane. I don't know what the NSA/U.S. intelligence community has on these nations, but lot of EU elites are on the side of the NSA on this one and it took a LOT of inter-governmental pull to get Morales' plane forced down and searched.

About the only thing that would work in Snowden's favor is that enough has been release that those in power might just shrug and say "the damage is done and let's not martyr him" and let him fly through to Switzerland.

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Black Helicopters

Nice idea in theory, but...

Remember how among other countries France closed its airspace to the Bolivian President's plane on the SUSPICION that Snowden was onboard, which forced the Bolivian plane to land in Vienna? Then the Austrians wouldn't let it take off again until they had a chance to search the plane for Snowden? Do you really think that couldn't happen again with a civilian flight that doesn't have a head of state onboard? Mind you, the geopolitical downside of offending Bolivia is not exactly huge, but it's still a head of state on a diplomatic conveyance that was stopped merely because somebody powerful thought Snowden might be onboard.

Eh, what do I know. I'm probably being paranoid, and its not like anyone ever has to overfly Austria or France to get to Switzerland....wait...for some reason my geography alarm bells are ringing....Eh, I probably just need to calm down and trust the government!!

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Death of a Salesman: Enough with the marketing already

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Re: I think its a product of consolidation in the fashion industry

But I didn't mention product consolidation, did I? I specifically mentioned vendor consolidation with larger firms buying up the small ones and fewer small ones to start with. Not the same thing at all.

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I think its a product of consolidation in the tech industry

Fewer small firms where customer feedback only has to work through 1-2 layers to get to the exec staff of the engineering staff, more big firms that have tremendous scale and can support your office in Outer Slobovia, but its difficult to actually get heard by someone who has the power to change things.

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General Motors to intro HANDS-FREE DRIVING tech by 2016

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Stop

I'm still skeptical

Too many hackers out there, and various organizations who might use this to track your movements.

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Drones swarm over bearded Brit billionaire's island getaway

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Terminator

Oh suuuuuure, it STARTS with pretty pictures....

But then somebody pipes in with "Hey, why don't we let the drones take care of security?", and then the drones get armed with lasers or rocket nets or something, and then the security system goes haywire. Finally, you end up with some bastardized version of "The Most Dangerous Game" mixed with a little "Lord of the Flies".

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Warrantless phone snooping HAPPENS ALL THE TIME in Blighty

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Facepalm

I knew this would happen...

When Rupert Murdoch was named Home Secretary!!

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DREADNOUGHTUS: The 65-TON DINO that could crumple up a T-Rex like a paper cup

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I have to wonder what exactly this beast ate!

Too big to live on grass and leaves. Also too big I would think to support itself labor-intensively digesting cellulose-rich wood from small trees. There must have been some big-ass soft plants in prehistoric Patagonia!!!

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Claimed Home Depot credit card hack could be biggest retail breach yet

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Re: The U.S. should move to chip-and-PIN anyway...

My last post should have read "not having chip-and-PIN cards in EUROPE"

(Problem is between chair and keyboard!)

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Hot Celebrity? Stash of SELFIES where you're wearing sweet FA? Get 2FA. Now

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Trollface

Re: Two-factor auth for Find My iPhone?

Why, I remember way back when everyone had a landline phone.... See, back then, Ike was in office and we all felt that the commies would win unless every American family owned it's own phone and did business with a monolithic company we all used to call Ma Bell for some reason!! Them was the good ol' days, when a man could get java for a dime and he didn't need to know Italian just to let the bartender know what size cup he wanted!! And don't get me started about TV! Why, TV went south when they took Donna Reed off the air!!

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