* Posts by Marketing Hack

2911 posts • joined 18 Jun 2009

We're going to use your toothbrush to snoop on you, says US spy boss

Marketing Hack
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Big Brother

Re: Ahem...

And our data shows that you need more veggies in your fridge...

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Marketing Hack
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Terminator

Re: Tough call

If it's an intelligent device, maybe it jumped!

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Marketing Hack
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Facepalm

Now I have an excuse to never brush my teeth again!!

"But baby, I'm doing it to protect our privacy!!"

More seriously, IoT is a frickin' disaster. No Nest thermostats or other WiFi connected appliances in my house. It's enough that my PS3/Blu-Ray player connects to my home WiFi network so that I can download stuff.

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2016 tech shakeout starts with CxO exodus

Marketing Hack
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WTF?

After the Superbowl "New Money" ad

Maybe PayPal's CMO should do them a solid and resign...

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Obama govt proposes 33% hike in cyber-security spending

Marketing Hack
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Linux

Maybe the extra $5 billion...

Is there to add heuristics-based filtering to the previously mentioned Einstein, the Department of Homeland Security's malodorous beached whale of a firewall. What a bargain!

(Tux--because unlike the DHS' roll-your-own firewall fiasco, his stuff pretty much works.)

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Don't you see these simple facts? Destroy Facebook and restore human Liberty

Marketing Hack
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ditto.

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Silent Nork satellite tumbling in orbit

Marketing Hack
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Go

The satellite is not tumbling!

It's just looking for a good Korean barbecue place.

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Irish kids get first-person view of 1916 uprising... via Minecraft

Marketing Hack
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Go

Next up!

Using Age of Empires to simulate William Wallace's and Robert the Bruce's campaigns?

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Are Indians too stupid to be trusted with free Internet?

Marketing Hack
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Childcatcher

Re: Honestly, agree with you 100%

Clean water for Flint? That's crazy talk!!

More seriously, I'm fine with the Indians deciding what is best for them, provided that this Indian commission isn't taking bribes from Google/Indian ISPs.

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Reports: First death from meteorite impact recorded in India

Marketing Hack
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Devil

Yeah, you guys can act all calm and stuff...

But what happens when the bus driver rises from the grave and starts biting people!!

The zombie apocalypse is upon us.

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Norks uses ballistic missile to launch silent 'satellite'

Marketing Hack
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FAIL

Re: Iran, North Korea. Can you blame them?

Good reasoning, except that you don't see Zimbabwe/Sudan/Cuba/other autocracies around the world threatening to turn their southern neighbor's capital into a "sea of fire" or advertising and plastering images of a burning White House/Statue of Liberty all over the place.

North Korea is no put-upon innocent that is only trying to defend itself from mean ol' Uncle Sam.

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LOHAN entertains the crowd at Oz Linux shindig

Marketing Hack
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Unhappy

Re: FAA

Forget Amateur Aviation

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Submarine cable cut lops Terabits off Australia's data bridge

Marketing Hack
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Trollface

Re: yet another reason

@androgynous cowherd

Hey, believing in magical unicorn ISP service is at least as plausible as believing that you will get good service from Comcast!!

(Zing!! Possibly-gratuitous-but-probably-deserved swipe at Con-cast!)

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Forget Tiger Woods – here's Cyber Woods: Robot golfer hits hole-in-one during tournament

Marketing Hack
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Terminator

Golf...

One part of human endeavor that I won't mind seeing the robots dominate!

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Brit spies want rights to wiretap and snoop on US companies' servers

Marketing Hack
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Big Brother

Predictable outcomes of this agreement...

Fearless prediction #1--A significant increase in telephone traffic between Cheltenham and Fort Meade, Maryland, with each additional conversation involving some variant of "Listen, we can't legally do this, but can you...?"

(Feel free to add more predictions if you want!)

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Marketing Hack
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Headmaster

"Home Secretary (the elected official in charge of the police)"

The Home Secretary is elected to Parliament, not elected to be Home Secretary.

Based on the last 20-30 years, the further qualifications that get you a promotion from plain ol' elected MP to appointed Home Secretary seem to be some combination of slavish devotion to your party/leadership and a moral obliviousness towards activities like drowning kittens in a vat of acid.

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Go and whistle, IDC. The storage world's going to hell in a handbasket

Marketing Hack
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Holmes

Storage hardware and software is being commoditized....

First, you have the traditional transition where the value being created by storage is coming mostly from software and services, and less from the actual hardware. This is in line with what happened with PCs/servers/computing/networking, just now it is hitting storage

Second, you have the rise of various cloud storage options. As a group they are pricing aggressively to gain/keep share, and their presence is pushing a lot of storage hardware purchases to these players, so they can buy in volume and aggressively pit the traditional storage powerhouses against eachother.

Third, you have the increase in global network bandwidth, so users can better access cloud and remote storage services, so there is less need for on-prem.

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Official UN panel findings on embassy-squatter released. Assange: I'm 'vindicated'

Marketing Hack
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FAIL

Sounds like....

the usual UN "Citizens of the World" idealists teaming up with various non-Western nations who want to focus attention on alledged problems in the UK so that their own questionable justice systems are spared some scrutiny.

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Who would code a self-destruct feature into their own web browser? Oh, hello, Apple

Marketing Hack
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Coat

So the moral of the story is...

Safari crashes really get your goat?

(OK, I'll leave now.)

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Scottish MP calls for drone-busting eagles

Marketing Hack
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Go

I'll support this, on the condition that the public gets to name the eagle unit...

"Thunderbirds are go!!!"

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Marketing Hack
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Re: It's a good job that a mostly wild fusking huge razor-clawed raptor flying about

It's all fun and games until one of the eagles snags one of Her Majesty's corgis. If it's an American Bald Eagle, it might start a transatlantic war!

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Marketing Hack
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Re: Genetic modifications?

Your going to need to expand Hundred Acre Wood if you are suggesting that room be found for giant flying Russian bears and their hunneypots. These days the place is probably surrounded by a couple housing subdivisions too! That's a lot of demolition and rezoning!

And imagine the fuss the BNP will put up when it finds out you are bringing Eastern European bears in...

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Marketing Hack
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Simple answer to that--show MP Chapman a Rodan movie! He seems to be easily influenced by anything on video.

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Lights out for Space Vehicle Number 23: UK smacked when US sat threw GPS out of whack

Marketing Hack
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Alien

Re: But....but...but......

So that's why GPS doesn't work at night!!

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Microsoft buys SwiftKey, Britain's 'stealthiest software startup'

Marketing Hack
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Trollface

On the plus side...

Those of you who are Swift key customers now qualify for a Windows X download onto your phone!

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Safe Harbor ripped and replaced with Privacy Shield in last-minute US-Europe deal

Marketing Hack
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"US has assured that it does not conduct mass or indiscriminate surveillance of Europeans"

James "No, we don't do that, Senator" Clapper gives you his personal assurance...

We need "Airplane"-style "Bullshit", More Bullshit and "Unbelievable Bullshit" icons

http://www.bing.com/images/search?q=bullshit%2c+more+bullshit%2c+unbelievable+bullshit&view=detailv2&&id=A1FF8325E411EBC6A16EB078C07B39D10757CF11&selectedIndex=0&ccid=BzZX5rnz&simid=608025094902450326&thid=OIP.M073657e6b9f326d67c9745e90be02370o0&ajaxhist=0

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Layoffs! Lawsuits! Losses! ... Yahoo! is! in! an! L! of! a! mess!

Marketing Hack
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Headmaster

"$4.968bn (up from 2014's $4.618bn). So sales remained flat over the year"

Eh, that's up 8% YoY, which most corporations would be happy with. Yahoo! does need some major help though.

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Danish Sith Lord fined in Galactic Republic rumpus

Marketing Hack
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Any Republic where Jar-Jar Binks can become a Senator...

Is just not long for this world!

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Windows 10 will now automatically download and install on PCs

Marketing Hack
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Black Helicopters

I'm shocked that MS thinks that this is a good idea!

Forcing a new OS and a multi-gig download and install on customers? On the corporate side, there are applications in use out there that might break if the client changes OS. On the consumer side, there are data caps and old hardware out there that might get impacted by the forced upgrade.

This all lends credence to my theory that there is a secret clause in the U.S. DoJ vs. MS antitrust settlement that requires MS to make at least one boneheaded decision around desktop OS every 3 years or so.

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Dutch cops train anti-drone eagle squadron

Marketing Hack
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Go

Re: Useless

If you're really worried about the cost, maybe you can get the National Rifle Association to help. Turn them loose with the concept and you will probably end up with free chain-gun armed good American Bald Eagles that also come with little speakers that play a rock-and-roll soundtrack once the drones are engaged.

You might have to allow them to be known as the Netherlands Rifle Association in return, but hey, small price to pay...

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Marketing Hack
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Re: El Reg could go one better...

It would never work. All the bad guys would have to do is disguise their drone as a pigeon, and the Vulture Squadron would go from "terrors of the sky" to comically inept.

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Marketing Hack
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Go

"better call in the eagles!".

The good news is that the Dutch government can use the end of the Lord of the Rings as kind of a proof of concept video.

Or pushing this to the illogical extreme (Hey, if you wanted thoughtful commentary, why are you reading the El Reg forums in the first place?) you could hire The Eagles to do a promotional concert for this service. Maybe something from their catalog can be the theme song? "One of These Nights" comes to mind. Any song with lyrics like "Coming right behind you, swear I'm gonna find you" and "Gonna get you baby, one of these nights" seems like a really good fit.

Glenn Frey would probably have approved.

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Marketing Hack
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Linux

I keep telling you guys that the answer to drone incursions is...

FALCONRY!!!

(Tux--if you glance at him right, he kind of looks like a raptor.)

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US government's $6bn super firewall doesn't even monitor web traffic

Marketing Hack
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Flame

Thank you, Clint Eastwood!!

If he had never made "Heartbreak Ridge", I possibly never would have heard of the term "clusterfuck", which so perfectly describes this situation.

Gotta love this article, including some examples of the use of leading-edge technology, such as:

"In 2009, a second version was deployed that added signatures". Really!? Wasn't signature-based antivirus pretty much solidified by say, 1991 or 1992? Way to win Gulf War #1, guys!! What's next? Is the DHS working on something to "Keep the damned Krauts from coming at our boys in the Ardennes" again?

Throw another $5.7 billion on the national debt bonfire, why don't you? Hey, it's not like its real money, after all!

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Did water rocket threaten Brum airport Airbus?

Marketing Hack
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Paris Hilton

Re: Hitting the "k"

I obviously had trouble coming up with something with an "I" in it, so if people want to use "impulse", knock yourselves out!

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Marketing Hack
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Paris Hilton

Re: Hitting the "k"

PARIS 2?

Plastic

Altitude

Reaching

excIzed

Soda

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Israeli drones and jet signals slurped by UK and US SIGINT teams

Marketing Hack
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But maybe that's why we bought all those Israeli drones in the first place!!

Honest Bibi, this wasn't surveilling an ally, but more "taking a test drive"!

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Marketing Hack
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Black Helicopters

Yes, but can the NSA get free HBO using this technique?

More seriously, this is the kind of thing I would LIKE to see our sigint agencies doing. Penetrating the comms and data infrastructure of actual countries to get intelligence or better understand their capabilities. Instead, they spend too much time gathering data on their own citizens.

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Facebook tells Belgian government its use of English invalidates privacy case

Marketing Hack
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Devil

There are lies, damned lies,...

and specious legal arguments!

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UK Home Sec's defence of bulk spying: We 'found' a paedo (we already knew about)

Marketing Hack
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Flame

Thanks for the examples, Theresa!

Thanks for proving that even a blind squirrel finds an acorn every now and then. Now, tell us how many innocent people are getting surveilled, or having their web browsing histories saved for the forseeable future, in case they ever decide to do something even remotely controversial.

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Brit airline pilots warn of drone menace

Marketing Hack
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Stop

I guess its kind of nice to see that this idiocy is not restricted to the U.S.

I'd hate to see a couple hundred people get killed because some hobbyist couldn't keep their drone away from flight paths.

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30 years on from Challenger, NASA remembers the fallen

Marketing Hack
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Unhappy

I remember Challenger...

But Apollo 1 was the saddest event. One of the original Mercury astronauts plus two others being killed in a routine test that was not safe because NASA tested with pure oxygen pressurized to be proportional to the internal atmosphere of the capsule compared to the vacuum of space.

At sea level that worked out to be about 20 PSI of pure oxygen versus the normal atmospheric pressure outside. At that pressure of pure oxygen, all that was needed was a spark from an electrical short and a lot of now-flammable Velcro and nylon webbing placed around the capsule to hold this and that, and the result was a gutted command capsule.

RIP and much respect to the crews of Apollo 1 and the space shuttles Challenger and Columbia.

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Apple yanks international travel plugs over shock worries

Marketing Hack
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Gimp

Re: Mystery solved

Doesn't sound like anything to get Amp'd up about to me!

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Back to the Future's DeLorean is coming back to the future

Marketing Hack
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Childcatcher

Maximum speed = 87 mph!!

Though maybe the 1%ers who can afford a $100K car feel that they bought the right to change the past to their benefit.

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Pay up, Lincolnshire, or your data gets it. Systems still down after ransomware hits

Marketing Hack
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Joke

"after a staff member opened a dodgy email attachment"

Tony Blair is spamming his Iraq War dossier again? :)

(Old joke, but it still has legs!)

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NSA’s top hacking boss explains how to protect your network from his attack squads

Marketing Hack
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IT Angle

"use a cloud company you are essentially handing your data over to them and relying on their security, so he warned due diligence is even more important than usual."

I wonder how many cloud computing deals will be queered by that insight.

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Kentucky to build 3,400-mile state-owned broadband network – and a fight is brewing

Marketing Hack
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Happy

Booya!!!

Attack-of-the-killer-Bs-alliteration throwback El Reg subtitle makes this article full of win!

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Five reasons why the Google tax deal is imploding

Marketing Hack
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Stop

Re: "It isn’t just the innumerati - Richard Murphy, Prem Sikka, Russell Brand, the Corbynite Left"

Agree with the above. The biggest problem is that tossing Google a softbball the British government is essentially subsidizing Google and penalizing other business in Britain.

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Terrible infections, bad practices, unclean kit – welcome to hospital IT

Marketing Hack
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Trollface

"Our information security is F.U." fits in more than a couple places I have seen :)

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How El Reg predicted Google's sweetheart tax deal ... in 2013

Marketing Hack
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Stop

I have no problem with Google/Alphabet making a bundle in the UK or elsewhere.

But I want to see them taxed according to the law and due process. Getting together behind closed doors with the taxing authorities and coming up with some agreed-upon number that doesn't seem to have a basis in statute is a bad idea.

Otherwise you move towards a situation where the taxpayer says "I'd really like to hold my liability to 100 million. Therefore, in consideration for your ingenuity in finding a way to get my liability to 100 million, please accept this gratuity of 10 million for you/your party/your charity."

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