* Posts by Marketing Hack

3222 posts • joined 18 Jun 2009

Revealed: How Dell can afford $67bn for EMC – by selling $650k laptops

Marketing Hack
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Windows

The same model with Windows 10 model is $9.99

And it comes with a free mousepad. :)

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Inside Electric Mountain: Britain's biggest rechargeable battery

Marketing Hack
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Pumped storage is pretty useful

I haven't been to Electric Mountain, but I have been to the Helms and Castaic pumped storage plants in California, and the one way up by Birney California, who's name I forget.

They can be a bit hard on the local environment, because they take a lot of water and chew up a lot of fish life in the upper and lower reservoirs, but they are still a very useful option for peak and intermediate load generation. It's good to diversify generation sources anyway.

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Free Windows 10 upgrade: Time is running out – should you do it?

Marketing Hack
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Headmaster

The writer forgot that Windows 10 deletes applications it deems incompatible

I for one can't have an OS deciding from week-to-week whether it is going to delete applications and potentially data off my system.

And then there is the obscene amount of telemetry that Windows 10 sends back to Redmond :(

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Star Trek Beyond: An unwatchable steaming pile of tribble dung

Marketing Hack
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I thought that, as far as movies, Starship Troopers was a more egregious straying from the source material than I Robot was. I Robot actually had some interesting moments with robots making certain decisions to save people or try to become more human. Starship Troopers was basically a bug shoot-em-up, though I did enjoy the portrayal of the future of human governance being some kind of kindly, media-driven fascism. "Would you like to learn more?"

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300k Turkey govt emails leak

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Well, there goes Turkey :(

When I hear that Erdogan wants to fire EVERY university Dean in the country (about 1700 in all), I have to believe that this crackdown has crossed the line from being an attempt to round up actual coup - plotters to becoming a purge of anyone who is not devoted to Erdogan's rule. Plus of course if you can replace the academic leadership with your loyalists, then you have a much better chance of influencing future generations.

So much for Turkey being an example of a Middle Eastern democracy. Maybe Tunisia can hold things together.

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40 years ago today the US govt sent a taxpayer-funded robot to invade an alien hostile world

Marketing Hack
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Black Helicopters

And very cost-effective too!

Just had to dye all the dirt in the Apollo soundstage orange!!

More seriously, that was an exciting mission. I was about 10 years old when it happened.

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What will laws on self-driving cars look like? Think black boxes and 'minimum attention'

Marketing Hack
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Big Brother

Re: Road Net

Nice future you envision there. A central control that always knows where you are and where you are going, and could conceivably withdraw your permission to be on the road mid-trip. That way you can easily be routed to the nearest Thought Police station to start your 're-education and self-criticism session.

But hey, as long as it's for your own good...

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What's big, blue and red all over? IBM. Profit, z Systems down, cloud up

Marketing Hack
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Trollface

Things will get better next quarter

By then, Big Blue's new DCO (Deckchair Cofiguration Officer) will be up to speed.

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Coup-Tube: Turkey blocks social networks amid military takeover

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Trollface

Considering emigration to Turkey?

Cons: Army in the streets, martial law and a wannabe Islamist strongman who will probably find a way to retain martial law even if he defeats the army

Pros: No Facebook or Twitter trying to monetize your thoughts and personal life. Lots of sunny weather.

Hmmmmmmm.......

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Cloud giants demand overhaul of America's privacy rules on overseas servers

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Devil

Google doesn't want to support this

Because it would complicate their own hoovering up of everything about you.

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McCain: Come to my encryption hearing. Tim Cook: No, I'm good. McCain: I hate you, I hate you, I hate you

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IT Angle

Sure, John--you can pass your legislation...

As long as you agree to tie the Republican party's political fundraising income to future U.S. tech industry sales, once you torpedo the industry's global competitive position.

Does that sound like something you could live with? I didn't think so.

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Silently clicking on porn ads you can't even see – this could be you...

Marketing Hack
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Paris Hilton

PORN-A-CHU, I CHOOSE YOU!!!

Dad, i tried to capture a Pokemon, but all I got was this video with Paris Hilton taking off her clothes.

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Microsoft wins landmark Irish data slurp warrant case against the US

Marketing Hack
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Windows

You know that things have become bad...

When telemetry-crazy Microsoft becomes a champion of digital privacy.

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US drug squads told to get a warrant before tracking mobile phones

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Well, good news

At least make the Feds do a little work before they can spy on us. I hope that this ruling holds up and becomes a n important precedent.

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IBM scraps loyal staffer gifts in favour of... a congratulatory social page

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Happy

"...deliver more personalised and consumer grade IBMer experiences from cultivating a culture of feedback to cognitive learning that’s more mobile"

BINGO!!! (Apologies to anyone who already announced bingo)

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Pokemon Go oh no no no, we're not reading your email, says gamemaker

Marketing Hack
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Big Brother

Pokemon D'oh!!

In this game, BigBrothetMon chooses you!

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Bad blood: US govt bans bio-test biz Theranos' CEO for two years

Marketing Hack
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Re: Considering her ownership stake

I don't really know what they did with their IP. Unfortunately, this wouldn't be the first time that a Silicon Valley company peddled a lot of vaporware before fading into oblivion. However, it would be one of the most notable examples.

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Marketing Hack
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FAIL

Considering her ownership stake

Self-interest dictates that she sell her stake in the company for whatever she can get and exit the business. She can't stay on as either CEO or an owner once her judgment kicks in, and the feds WILL show up and close the place down and lock her up for contempt if she tries.

The best plan seems to be to appeal the ruling to get some more time to find a buyer, possibly a big med device firm that thinks it can do something with the ip. Maybe she will get enough to start some other business, or go live on a beach somewhere.

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Rolls-Royce reckons robot cargo ships are the future of the seas

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Re: Anybody else think that humanity is reduced by this?

Except that food service is being automated too. Here in SF, a food robotics company is building a PoC restaurant that will product completely machine-made hamburgers.

So there goes the artisan baker thing.

We're going to need to dramatically change the meaning of work and the rewards given to displaced workers if the future is a relative few entrepreneurs and people handling those parts of design and software-writing that cannot be automated, and a huge mass of people who are otherwise underemployed.

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Teen faces trial for telling suicidal boyfriend to kill himself via text

Marketing Hack
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Re: Is suicide illegal in the USA

Suicide is not really a federal crime, so this depends on the laws in the state of Massachusetts. I know that in California, suicide is not illegal.

Suicide would only be a federal issue if it were illegal in the federal code, and there was some palpable attempt to cross state lines while performing it.

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Sociology student gets a First for dissertation on Kardashians

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Childcatcher

As an American, I apologize for inflicting the Kardashians on the rest of the world

Yes, it can be argued that this is just retaliation for Rick Astley or One Direction, but the cycle of cultural violence has to be stopped somewhere.

(Seriously, its bad enough that these gals are famous (for being famous) in the U.S. But is TV so bad in the RoW that these ditzy divas are a big deal overseas?)

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FBI won't jail future US president over private email server

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FAIL

And people wonder why Trump is hanging within 5% of Hillary's vote

Even with his constant blather about hispanics not being suitable to serve as federal judges, banning muslim immigration, sexist faux pas about various women, banning well-known news organizations (Washington Post) from his campaign events, etc.

Hillary should be leading Trump by double digits, but she just keeps reinforcing the mantra that on any given day she spends more time lying than the average American spends working.

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Post Brexit EU will spend 'stability and peace' budget funding Chinese war drones

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Stop

I have no problem with governments providing military aid to other nations

But let's call it what it is, and not hide it in a humanitarian development program that doesn't have proper safeguards to make sure that some 3rd world strongperson doesn't use it to crush the opposition.

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Detroit Rock(et Fiber) City: Startup brings 10Gb service to Motown

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Go

Well, good luck, Detroit

I like to make fun of Detroit as much as the next guy. Heck, on these very forums I proposed that we give the city back to Britain in return for a remain vote on Brexit. For some reason, the British didn't avail themselves of this offer.

However, I do hope that the city can be made to work again. If some rebuilt/new infrastructure can be put in, the city might be able to turn itself around. And (completely) unlike my home in the SF Bay Area, land/housing is the cheapest in any major city in the U.S.

Now, if they could just do something about tearing down Tigers Stadium.

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Lindsay Lohan ‘happy’ to turn on Kettering

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Headmaster

Flame-haired ACRESS?

Missing a consonant there, guys.

I heard Ms. Lohan also tweeted a congrats to the Shetland Islands when they voted remain. It would be nice if they sent her a fruit basket or something.

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The best way to find oxygen on Mars? Friggin LASERS, of course

Marketing Hack
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Alien

Having sharks onboard allows you to search for water at the same time!

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Countdown to Jupiter: Juno just seven days from orbit

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Joke

Re: I just can't help it, by Jove

You can always go for the Abbot @ Costello "Who's on first" angle.

Q: Whats the name of that new space probe?

A: Ju-no

Q: No!, I don't know! Why would I ask you if I knew?!"

Repeat variations on this riff for 10 minutes.

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NASCAR team red-flagged by ransomware attack

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Re: Secrets? What secrets?

And if you ain't first, you're last.

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PM resigns as Britain votes to leave EU

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Re: erm

If the EU-India agreement is what you stated, British IT workers may have dodged a bullet. Offering labor mobility to workers who come in at 50-70 cents on the dollar vs. local workers is a horrible idea.

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Marketing Hack
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IT Angle

Re: erm

To be fair though, the less-educated were the ones receiving the most competition and resulting wage and job pressure due to immigration. If tomorrow, a quarter million qualified IT workers arrived in the UK, within a month this website would be full of "where did all these damned foreigners come from" complaints.

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Home Office ignores plight of BA techies as job offshoring looms

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Holmes

And people wonder how the vote for Brexit happened?

My guess is that a lot of it involved real or perceived instances where people's jobs were threatened, they appealed to various members of the establishment to get some help or clarification, were ignored for their trouble and then had their jobs outsourced to "immigrants".

Then they "stuck it to The Man" at the ballot box.

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Germany: If Brits vote to Remain, we'll admit Hurst's 1966 goal was a goal

Marketing Hack
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Headmaster

Re: Brits--gift from America if you vote to remain.

Nope, it was Britain that ceded Detroit to the USA, so it goes back to you. I don't think Canada recognizes Detroit as a place anyway. I've heard that Canadian maps show the Ambassador Bridge exiting into a blank space labeled "Here there be monsters".

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Marketing Hack
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Brits--gift from America if you vote to remain.

We can't fully forget the unpleasantness of 240 years ago, but I have it on good authority that we'll let you have Newark, New Jersey and Detroit back. Maybe the Bronx too.

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All this Brexit talk derailed UK tech spending, right? That's a big fat NOPE

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I'm in America, and you can't escape Brexit stories here!

And we have our own lesser-of-two-weasels election going on at the same time :/

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'Nobody cares about your heart-rate'

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Facepalm

Nobody cares about your heart rate...

Except that the insecure API to your heart rate monitoring app can provide an avenue to attack something more important/lucrative on your device/PC/network.

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Microsoft cancels Remain speech after death of Labour MP

Marketing Hack
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Windows

Re: That's settled then

@ Terry Barnes

"How many minimum wage employees do you think Microsoft has in the UK? Or anywhere?"

The real question that impacts the Brexit vote is how many MORE minimum wage employees would MS like to have in the UK? Or anywhere (where they can outsource higher-paid jobs currently in Britain)?

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You lucky creatures! Mammals only JUUUST survived asteroid that killed dinosaurs

Marketing Hack
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Angel

Thankfully, God's can of Raid ran out.

"Well, I'll get another can and finish the little bastards off when I go shopping next week."

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Stopped buying Oracle's kit? You've literally decimated its profit

Marketing Hack
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Re: Gurgle...

Yes, there were lots of people who were sad to see Sun Microsystems go, but if Oracle is subsumed, there aren't going to be many tears shed. I don't think that's likely, but that company is about as loveable as...Larry Ellison.

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Lester Haines: RIP

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Unhappy

Sad news!

There are plenty of tech publications, but Lester's combination of quirky wit, applied technology and continuous amusement helped make The Register special.

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Boffins decipher manual for 2,000-year-old Ancient Greek computer

Marketing Hack
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Windows

Well, i am glad to hear that the original functionality was documented...

Before the mandatory Windows 10 download screws everything up!

(Oh come on. This is el Reg--you KNEW that joke was coming.)

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Marketing Hack
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IT Angle

Re: Abort, retr.......????

This is also history's first example of getting rid of your old gear in e-Bay!!

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Walgreens drops Theranos

Marketing Hack
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Ouch!

Well, that almost bakes it for Theranos. They won't get another major retail partner until they can deliver an accurate test and a workable channel program. And they won't get a decent valuation until they can successfully demonstrate the scale that is facilitated by retail partners.

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Microsoft's paid $60 per LinkedIn user – and it's a bargain, because we're mugs

Marketing Hack
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Windows

Just sit still, this won't hurt a bit.

"Today Microsoft announced that a LinkedIn users will require a Windows Live login to access the service. Also, to improve the user experience, LinkedIn service will only be compatible with the Windows 10 operating system."

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US plans intervention in EU vs Facebook case caused by NSA snooping

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The jist of this U.S. government intervention will be...

"Nice external investment from the U.S. you got there, Ireland. You know, a man should take care of his external investment--see that nothing happens to it."

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In obesity fight, UK’s heavy-handed soda tax beats US' watered-down warning

Marketing Hack
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Stop

Re: 'Other people are doing things I don't like'

@AC

Taxation isn't coercion? OK, I challenge you to NOT pay your tax, and see what happens next. The best you can look forward to is a cashier telling you "Well, you're right that the price tag on that item is $1.00, but with tax it's $1.10. If you don't pay the 10 cents tax, you can't have the item." If you push your position to payroll, income or property taxes you will find your bank accounts frozen, your home repossessed and yourself in front of a judge.

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You. Comcast, TWC, Charter, DirecTV, Dish. Get in here and explain yourselves – Congress

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Trollface

Thank God!

"Senate's Permanent Subcommittee on Investigations has called on the nation's cable and satellite providers to testify about their customer service failings"

That will give us something to watch that is longer and more interesting than the Presidential election!

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Bill Gates cooks up poultry recipe for Africans' paltry existence

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Facepalm

So the natural result of all this chicken-raising is...

That chicken prices drop and prices for chicken feed and care go up. Plus you have to build and guard an enclosure for these very vulnerable birds. So there goes your economics.

However, thanks for the advice Bill. I'll try to remember that when the productivity hit from continuous Windows 10 nagware and upgrades has reduced me to extreme poverty :)

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One entire US spook base: Yours for $1m+

Marketing Hack
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Go

Another option for redevelopment...

Would be buying this and redeveloping it into a Kafkaesque imprisonment/interrogation/re-education center, complete with brightly-colored houses and sentient giant self-inflating, escapee-enveloping beachballs for guards.

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Surveillance forestalls more 'draconian' police powers – William Hague

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Big Brother

This is very reminiscent of the old budget-cutting dodge.

"You need us to cut the city budget? Sure!, we'll start with police, fire engines and schools. How do you like those cuts?"

"You need us to allow private phone and email communication? Sure!, we'll require a stool sample, a camera in your bedroom so we can see you are not kiddy-raping and this will sting a bit, but we have to insert an RFID chip in your left buttcheek!"

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Q: Is it wrong to dress as a crusader for an England match?

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Facepalm

Politial correctness gone mad

Yes, it's ok to dress up as a knight in a St George's flag tabard. However, I'm sure the BBC would rather that everyone come to the game as historically accurate peasants, unwashed and fleabitten.

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