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* Posts by I ain't Spartacus

3184 posts • joined 18 Jun 2009

Phab-u-less: Huge MONSTER iPhone 6 not due until 2015 – claim

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Re: I for one

Lallabalalla,

There's nothing wrong horribly with the Apple mail client. It just only allows you to use one mail account at a time (the same as Android).

Whereas Win Pho gives you a shortcut to each email account, which if the live tiles now work properly means can check each one at a glance.

The other problem with the Apple client is that you have to use the same button to change accounts as to access different mail folders within the same account. And it's pretty much random as to which on you get when you press the button. So you want to look in your sent items, you often have to select the mail account again, just in order to then be allowed access to a sub-folder!

I have 2 work accounts to juggle as well. Hence I set up the gmail app to separate out my personal mail.

Oh and while we're at it, the Apple addressbook is even shittier at handling multiple accounts. I want to display my personal and key work numbers, and not mix up with the 4,000 others. And then find those by searching. But Apple don't allow that. I've got to wade through thousands or manually change address books each time.

They basically don't seem to have recognised that a phone is for both work and personal use. Win Pho has the best email and address book, although the new Blackberry seems to be pretty good at this too.

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Re: I for one

When used as a phone, my iPhone 5 and the Lumia 710 and HTC Wildfire that preceeded it were perfect. Nice convenient sizes to fit in the hand, hold up to the ear and not overfill your pocket. My personal favourite being the Lumia, for the big writing (no reading glasses when walking down the street).

Once you start doing stuff online, or trying to plan a route on a map, then they all feel quite cramped. At that point, the Galaxy Note seems like a really nice device, with a pen for sketching and lots of room.

My device is mainly a phone. If I've a lot to do, I tether to my iPad. So I'm happy with something smaller. But it's horses for courses.

Special unfavourable mention must go to Google here, for their gmail app on the iPhone. The font is absolutely tiny, and there are times when I can barely even read emails with my reading glasses on. And they've of course disabled pinch to zoom. I'd use the Apple email client, if it wasn't so crap at coping with both a work and personal inbox. Windows Phone was great at this.

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Will GCHQ furtle this El Reg readers' poll? Team Snowden suggests: Yes

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chatroulette

Which garden shall I deposit my shit in today? Place you bets.

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Black Helicopters

Another worrying thought?

Do they have a working internet sarcasm detector?

If so, we're all buggered. And it wouldn't be the first time that GCHQ had technology vital to the health of the internet, and kept it secret.

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SpaceX FINALLY lobs six sats into orbit (don't mention the landing)

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Devil

This is just an excuse! Everything went perfectly. But he's got to pretend that they don't yet have full control of the reusable stage return, so that when he drops one on that Chinese Tesla trademark troll's head, he's got plausible deniability.

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Diary note: Pluto's close-up is a year from … now!

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Happy

Answerphone

This is Uranus. I'm afraid I'm not here at the moment. Please leave a message after the tone.

And no sniggering.

Beep!

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Re: Question

bigphil9009,

I'd imagine the bandwidth is going to suck for nice pictures. So it'll store those and start transmitting the most interesting data first. After all, we now have better instruments than the old probes did. And we can often do more things at once, and stick the results into storage for later transmission.

Just a guess, but are any of the gas giants moving between us and the probe in that period as well? They're noisy and might interfere with the signal.

The other option is that NASA cut costs too much and used O2 for their data...

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Devil

Re: To boldly go

I hope you told him when he was passing Uranus...

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YES: Scotland declares independence ... from the dot co dot uk empire

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Trollface

Now there's an idea...

I shall create a site forthwith, which allows you to categorise pictures of attractive and less attractive ladies plus men in skirtskilts. I shall call it:

whatshotwhatsnotwhats.scot

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Read the proposed US ASTEROIDS Act to green-light mining IN SPAAAACE

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Happy

Re: Made me think of

4ecks,

What time is it?

I love Cherryh's books. And of course this law suggests exactly the problem that she covered in that book. If you can't steal the stuff before it's mined, you can beat people to the asteroid. It would be a shame if you crashed into them first…

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LOHAN seeks stirring motto for spaceplane mission patch

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Happy

surely there should be a grep and an awk in there too...

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The final score: Gramophones 1 – Glassholes 0

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Re: Hmm

It's not that they won't let you out of Stansted, just that there aren't any signs. Or if there are, they're incredibly well hidden.

Funnily enough I was watching a program on architecture the other day, that claimed it was the best airport designed up to that time. Although I guess that is rather like being offered the choice of smallpox or ebola.

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I ain't Spartacus
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Re: Google Potatohead+

That's just a load of old Glollocks!

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Re: @ AC ~1220h - Photos photos

or shouting: "OK glass, horse porn, loop, mike off!"

If you do that near me, it'll have to be a swift kick to the nadgers I'm afraid. No one interrupts me when I'm watching hot sheep-on-sheep lovin'!

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Say goodbye to the noughties: Yesterday’s hi-fi biz is BUSTED, bro

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Happy

Re: Bluetooth audio... pah

No. They'll release Goldtooth.

Blutooth uses the air to transmit imperfect wireless signals. For the true audiophile such as yourself, you need to be using the equivalent power of gold contacts and oxygen free cables.

Hence Goldtooth. Instead of using the sound deadening oxygen in the air to transmit our radio signals, we transmit in the less crowded helium band. As there is so much less helium in the atmosphere, we have to use much larger antennae, but this is a small price to pay for audio perfection.

The name comes from the fact that it's helium which give the Sun it's distinctive golden hue at sunset.

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What the world needs now is... a Bluetooth-enabled baby's dummy

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Happy

Re: Guessing game:

The clever baby will learn to put the thing on the radiator for a bit, to get it all toasty warm - and then be given Calpol.

Most young children are Calpoloholics. It must taste really nice.

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Tesla trademark spat threatens Musk's China dream

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Devil

Elon Musk owns ICBMs. Why pay someone else? He may not have nukes, but with access to heat shields and orbital velocity - that's not a huge problem...

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Dubai to get HUGE climate-controlled DOMED CITY and giga-mall

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Re: Office arguments over the air-con controls

There will be no arguments. This is Dubai. Air-con will be set to massively, amazingly, astonishingly fucking freezing. And you can lump it.

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I ain't Spartacus
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Re: Romdeau

You can get solar panels to mount on the side of buildings. But they're not transparent.

You could easily have a glycol and water mix wandering around tubes in the glass dome. I guess if you made the channels small enough, they wouldn't be too visible. You'd need a bloody big heat store though. Moden solar-thermal panels can get up to 300°C (although they're black) - so if you don't keep removing heat from the system they cook their own circulating pumps. This means when sized wrong they often have to go into shutdown in the hottest part of the day, and can't switch on again until the sun's gone down.

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Re: or indeed that it is perfectly survivable anyway

This dome will be no better. I walked into a Dubai shopping centre. It was 40°C and humid outside, then I walked into a wall of ice. It was 18°C and dry inside. That was an almost painful transition. Although not as bad as walking back out through the doors into the heat was.

And I was there in October. In July/August it hits 50!

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Coat

Re: what a fscked up world we live in ...

It was Abu Dhabi who bailed them out. Just waiting long enough to let Dubai sweat, so they'd know who was boss in future...

I know this, because due to censorship Saudi Arabia won't show the Flintstones movie, but Abu Dhabi Do...

Sorry, I couldn't stop myself. I'd best get my coat.

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Doctor Who season eight scripts leak online

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Re: Luvverly

If you search them out, it's your own fault. If your arse of a mate sticks info out there, in a deliberate attempt to be annoying, then they deserve to cop some abuse.

Not that I care, I've not seen it in several years. But whoever released it is a complete tosser.

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I ain't Spartacus
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Re: Wait and see

the only problem then is avoiding the bloody spoilers from Trailers the BBC broadcast

My favourite example of this was from something that ITV used to show at post-pub-o'clock. Sadly that space is now taken up by some sort of tv-roulette-scumbaggery. The show was 'Tour of Dury'.

In this episode someone fragged an officer while he's in the toilet. So whodunnit?

I can still remember sitting down with my revitalising cuppa and snack. They had the bit many US shows have before the theme music. "Next on Tour of Duty", and a soldier is shown being led away in handcuffs by the MPs.

Funnily enough, I guessed whodunnit quite early in the show...

I do hate fuckers with their spoilers though. I don't like the soaps, but my Mum was always annoyed when some arse at the Sun or Mirror decided to stick what was going to happen next on their front page. She didn't even read them, but there's always some other bugger willing to compound the felony by reading it out on the radio.

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It's finally happened: Bloke builds BOFH-style goofing-off cattle prod

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Re: Dope Amine

Now I feel dirty for upvoting you...

I'd much prefer it if electric shocks were built into the downvoting button instead.

Although, come to think of it, that makes me sound like a massochist. I might have commented less on El Reg if I'd had 1,000 electric shocks for my pains. I'd certainly have learned to be nicer about Julian Assange, Bitcoin and Google...

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Re: If only

wowfood,

You're showing a lack of critical thinking here. You don't want to be administering any more pain to yourself. You give this product to the boss, "here, wear this wristband, it's linked to the Powerpoint PC, so you just wave your arm and the slide changes."

You then either program it to do this, or simply operate the thing yourself, every time he waves his arm. Any presentation that lasts longer than say 5 minutes, elicits a shock.

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'BIGGEST BIRD EVER': 21-foot ripsaw-beaked flying HORROR

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Happy

Re: take off

I'm no orthinologist either. More of a wird-botcher...*

But cliffs is what I'd assumed as well. It's not likely to be an evolutionary success to rely on a sufficient gust of wind being available for take-off, just as the local predator turns up for lunch. Although many sea-birds can lighten the load for emergency take-offs by vomiting their stomach contents all over their attacker.

Perhaps symbiosis is the answer? Maybe there was an aircraft carrier dinosaur, on which these things could land? We just haven't found the fossil yet.

Then again, they did die out "under mysterious circumstances". So maybe it was crap take-off abilities and natural selection. But my carriersaur theory is still in it with a chance! Perhaps the things just evolved away their catapults, and forgot to upgrade the birds at the same time?

*With thanks to the late, great, Humphrey Lyttelton.

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Alabama quadchopper hits THREE THOUSAND FEET next to AIRPORT

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Happy

so even if it did catch a bit of flack and go down, it should do little more than make a splash.

You heartless bastard! Have you no regard for the safety of Playmonauts?

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German spy agency staffer spied for NSA during gov probe into NSA spying – report

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Re: Well, well, well. I perfectly well understand that the expression "allies"....................

If I were in the Greek, Cypriot, Italian, Irish or Portuguese government, I wouldn't necessarily regard Germany as allies. I might be sharing a currency with them, but I'd find it hard to interpret their actions over the last few years as terribly friendly.

Getting caught can certainly make life awkward though. But it's all part of the fun-and-games that is international diplomacy.

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Boeing to start work on most powerful rocket ... EVER!

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Mushroom

Re: Orion spacecraft

Yeah. I didn't really like Florida when I went there, NASA had mostly managed to make their museum / tours of the Cape quite dull, which is amazing given how exciting space stuff is, so no-one would miss it. Plus we get giant mutated nuclear alligators and manatees to revenge themselves on humans for all the horrible things we've done to the planet.

Light up those nukes.

P.S. Can some US network re-hire Piers Moron* to do the launch commenatary. From a desk just outside the perimeter fence, like in the good old days of Walther Cronkite...

*You took him of your own free will. And no, we're not don't want him back. You're stuck with him. We only take returns on faulty items, you can't just change them because you think they're hideous after a few years.

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El Reg is looking for a new London sub-editor

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Happy

Re: Sir

I'll take navigating PRs over troubleshooting printers any day of the week.

Trevor,

Both are engineering problems, and can therefore be solved with the liberal application of a hammer.

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Google policy wonk patronises Brits over EU search biz probe

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Re: Over the top?

On the subject of keeping giant corporate entities in check, does The Register have a policy of doing no evil? Enquiring minds would like to know…

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I ain't Spartacus
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Axel Springer

I wonder if we can expect changes from the new commission?

Supposedly the fun-and-games that gave us Juncker as President of the Commission relate to this subject. What changed Merkel's mind, and made her backtrack on a possible deal with Cameron to block Juncker, was the massive reaction in the German press. Although her coalition partners were also in favour of Juncker.

Anyway, I've seen a couple of sources say that Juncker's campaign team promised Axel Springer that the new Commission would support them against Google. And this may be related to the sudden huge outcry in the German press.

I've seen this reported in several EU politics stories in the Guardian and FT. Although I've not seen it mentioned in business / IT news.

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I ain't Spartacus
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Trollface

Re: For a company flogging the discovery of information

For a company flogging the discovery of information

She sure did a great job of blocking.

Wasn't one of Google's mission statements to organise all the world's information? Well some information obviously gets shown to the public, and some gets placed in a drawer in a locked filing cabinet, in a disused toilet with a sign on the door saying "beware of the leopard".

That's organisation for you...

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Google buys shagadelic playlist biz Songza

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Devil

Hmmm. What is the appropriate music for preparing to get into the shower? Punk perhaps? It's got to be something pretty short, given that it doesn't take long to remove clothes, open door, climb in.

I wonder what's on their playlist for 'having a poo'?

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'Disruptive innovation' is nonsense? Not ALWAYS, actually

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DropBear,

If I want a car to commute to work, but don't use it during the day while I'm there, I could send it away to someone else who works nights, wants to shop during the day, or walks to the office where they're a sales rep, and drive to meetings.

This would mean I wouldn't have to buy a car, but could rent/hire it only when needed. Saving me money, and I could avoid paying parking.

To make it scale, I guess it would only really work, if the cars could drive themselves between users. Otherwise more people would use existing car-pooling schemes.

There are good reasons that business model might not work, but if it did, the car manufacturers would be very sad to see their sales drop.

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I ain't Spartacus
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The problem is that the author is trying to use his prediction as evidence, to make a wider point about innovation.

No he's not. He's simply using it as an example. The supposed reluctance of Detroit to cooperate with Google, as they naturally don't fancy seeing sales of cars plummet, if everyone goes to a different ownership model. Whether this is true in this case doesn't matter, they may eventually cooperate, sales may not drop, all that matters is the discussion of the motivations.

I was having this discussion yesterday. We have a niche product that is close to unique, but quite expensive. It's technically more complex than our competitors, in order to achieve a smaller size. That, and the fact that we don't manufacture in bulk, makes us more expensive.

However several companies have recently attempted to copy us, and mostly failed. It took a lot of testing to get this thing working, some of them even buy from us, so they can keep the customers but sell our product when nothing else will fit.

Should we make it cheaper? We've tested with a cheaper major part, which will give us an even smaller product for little loss in quality. But it will cost tens of thousands to re-tool, re-design, re-certify etc. Or we could sell as a new product into a different market.

However if we do either of those, guess what happens to the sale of our more costly product?

The new smaller one won't cover all use-cases, so we'll be left with loads of engineering and design costs, 2 incompatible product lines and therefore extra warehousing and stock to pay for. And sales costs to push the new product in a new market we don't currently address.

So our alternatives are to do nothing. Move to the new product and hope we can increase sales to cover our losses (maybe, but impossible to tell), or maybe dump the old product and lose the high end sales that the new one can't address. Sadly these are of course the most profitable ones...

This would be an innovative and disruptive product in the new market (that we don't currently address), although it's only an incremental improvement in ours. But if some new company came along, with none of our baggage and existing costs, it would also be disruptive to us.

The reason others tried to copy us of course, is that we were disruptive when entering our current market, because we could do something that none of them could. And this product was originally designed for yet a third market, where we used to exclusively operate, and with only a slight re-design got into our current market.

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Trick-cyclists defend Facebook emoto-furtling experiment

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Re: This was just a test run...

It's almost certainly not some ghastly conspiracy in order to get permission to do even more hideous things in future.

It's far more likely to be that no-one at Facebook gives a damn about privacy, and it never even occurred to them that there'd be a problem, or that anyone would object. After all, they're used to people giving them all their most intimate data, with almost no restrictions. So it's little wonder that they feel they have the right to do whatever the hell they like with it.

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Golf bloke to Richard Branson: Get on board the future bus, where there's 'NO WEATHER'

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Devil

Re: Social Media Mirror...

I've already registered www.duzmubumlukbiginthis.com - but I'm thinking of calling my company duzbum. What do you think?

I wonder if we should use one of those combined question mark / exclamation mark things in the logo?

Obviously the mirrors will be voice activated. So you say "mirror mirror on the wall". At which point all of your friends' phones make an annoying pinging sound and the screen comes on with your picture. I think we'll digitally put a tiara on the head of every shot - except ones where people are trying on a tiara of course...

They can then swipe up for love it, or swipe down for hate it. I don't want to allow any of this pesky human interaction in this app. That's not what friends are for! Plus it's harder to monetise.

The phone users then either get an advert for the dress if they've swiped up, or an alternative ad for something less hideous (which we choose and can make better margins on), if they swiped down.

We then total these votes - or thumz (as I shall call them) - and pass to the user in the changing room. Who then gets a musical fanfare appropriate to the assessment from their friends (frendz - or is that going too far?). Plus a giant thumb up/down as appropriate. This would be the point to sell advertising for gyms I think.

...

I feel rather dirty after typing that. It was supposed to be more ridiculous than our beardy futurologist. But I've a horrible feeling it would sell to a VC. Is this how Chris Morris and Armando Iannucci feel, after 'The Day Today' and 'Brass Eye' turned out to media training manuals?

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SPACE: The FINAL FRONTIER. These are the TEN-YEAR images of star probe Cassini

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Happy

Re: A hearty well-done to NASA and Cassini.

Can't they just run a few loads of narcotics to Lave, and then they'll have enough to buy a fuel scoop - and use that lovely gas giant to keep the tanks topped up?

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Rockall pod-dweller braces for stormy weather

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Devil

Re: 60 days of learning the harmonica

I'm very disappointed he's wastng his time with the harmonica. Surely this level of isolation is the perfect venue to play the bagpipes. It's almost certainly far enough away from any possible listener that it might actually constitute a pleasant experience. Possibly a bit hard on the sea birds though.

It may be that my feelings are influenced by my school fete, when I was 6. While gazing in awe at the huge, multi-level, model railway that had been built in (and almost filled) my classroom - an evil bagpiper sneaked (snuck?) into the room. He was standing less than 2 feet behind me when he started strangling his cat playing.

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Facebook: Yes, we made you SAD on PURPOSE... for your own good

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Re: Abusive relationship

I think you're wrong about Facebook. It does really love its users' money/data/privacy. So I think Facebook will change.

...

...

For the worse.

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NASA pulls FLYING SAUCER out of Pacific ocean

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Happy

The important question is, what happened to the Playmonaut on board? All space missions do carry a Playmonaut right?

Well apart from SpaceX who send cheese.

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True fact: Your CAT wees ... like a racehorse

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Happy

Re: Mogpiss Monday Blues

But the elephant would have more problems getting over the garden wall!

tony2heads,

Q. What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence?

A. Time to get a new fence.

Ah. Haven't told that 'joke' since I was about 6. From my brother's Bumper Book of Childrens Jokes.

But it's rather like the question where do you park a 60 tonne tank? Wherever the hell you like. The same applies to elephants. According to Spike Milligan you just put an elephant flap in the back door and it can wander in-and-out as it likes.

"Min, have you put the elephant out?"

"No. Was it on fire?"

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I ain't Spartacus
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I heard about a Sumo demonstration event in Australia (back in the days when Channel 4 were covering all sorts of odd sports). Except it turned out that the competitors were too large to fit into the JAL toilets. As in wouldn't physically fit into the room. Although I don't know why they couldn't aim from outside the door...

So they starved them all the day before, to avoid dumps. And didn't drink for several hours before the flight, and only started drinking halfway through. I'd still imagine they managed to beat the 21 second average on landing though...

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Happy

Re: Impossible, I say

I don't believe you. Given that Guinness is basically soup, and can be eaten with a fork, I think you're just imagining going to the loo...

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Re: "... a long and wider urethra results in faster flow ..."

The body uses peristalsis, it pushes things along tubes by wobbling the sides. So because it's the whole tube that's doing the pushing, unlike most pumps where you do everything in one series of impellers, the longer the tube the more pressure you'll build up.

You can get peristaltic pumps that mimic the biological method, and they're good for relatively high pressure / low flow-rate applications (labs / test equipment etc). But they just use a flexible tube and a couple of rollers - although I suppose you could get the same effect by putting a bunch of them in series.

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Re: Mogpiss Monday Blues

At least it's the neighbour's cat pissing in your garden, and not their pet elephant...

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Facebook 'manipulated' 700k users' feelings in SECRET EXPERIMENT

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Re: @silent_count

...

The long thin juicy ones slip down easily,

The short fat furry ones stick.

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Spanish struggle to control spelling of 'WhatsApp'

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Re: Gender of the internet???

Où est la plume de ma tante?

Dans le jardin.

The crimson cow is flying South.

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Hey, remember the iPod Touch? Apple just did

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Re: I still want my 1TB iPod "Classic"

The problem with the iPod Classic is the rubbishy scrollwheel. It's OK for short lists, but get very tedious, very quickly. And does tend to end up selecting the thing either side of what you wanted. So I don't want to replace mine with another (it's on its last legs now). I want something with around 100GB of storage, but a much better UI. An iPod Touch with decent amounts of memory, or an SD card slot would be perfect. But Apple do like to massively overcharge for storage.

Samsung used to do a similar device, not sure if they still do. Or a cheap 'Droid phone may be an option. I might even look into Neil Young's Pono thingymajig. I quite like the idea of a flourescent yellow Toblerone...

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