Re: Good luck Lester
The only problem with that is having to take a teapot to work. Going without tea at home would be bad, but not having any at work would be far worse.
3679 posts • joined 18 Jun 2009
The only problem with that is having to take a teapot to work. Going without tea at home would be bad, but not having any at work would be far worse.
I have some sympathy with the politicians here. The internet is new, and there aren't many people who understand it. Because it's new, poeple are still learning who's biased in what direction and why. So it's very hard to get a handle on who's selling you a pup, who's relatively disinterested and who hasn't got a fucking clue as to what they're talking about.
Even if we hadn't so professionalised politics that it was even shorter of industry expertise than usual, the modern internet industry is still pretty new anyway - so there's not been that much time for people to filter through from industry into politics and semi-retired esablishment grandee status.
What this means is that a lot of the normal sources of information aren't available. So who do you talk to?
As sceptical as I am of Google you have to admire them for their forward planning. And their willingness to invest in the future. Some of it is probably luck, but as Gary Player (almost) said, the more I invest, the luckier I get. So sure they created Android to keep them competitive in mobile search. But then they also spent big on mapping, and that combined with all those Android mobile
data reporting stations phones out there gives them a massive hoard of wonderful data. So they've got a network giving them real-time traffic information, a constantly update WiFi map of the world linked to GPS, local search data, data on physical movement of people - and all of this feeds back into improving search and advertising.
If you want to talk to someone who understands the internet, you can't go wrong in talking to Google. Of course you have to assess their biases. But their far-sightedness also translated into paying academia, think-tanks and NGOs - so that they'd have lots of 'grass-roots' support. And it took a while for anyone to notice.
Of course, there is a downside to all this. And I wonder if Google are far-sighted enough to see it. Becoming 'all powerful' is great. Until people notice. Then they start to get worried. And if you don't show some moderation to go with all that power you've accumulated - people can become hostile. And then you discover that you're not all-powerful after all. Government can be pushed around and manipulated, often quite easily. But when push-comes-to-shove they've got the guns, the law and the right to print money.
Godzilla! And Godzuki...
You fiend for reminding me of that!
No, no, no, no. When the greens get pissy, you invite them out for a reassurance and fact-finding visit. then push them over the side, into the shark-infested waters.
Or if you're feeling a little more subtle, and have more spare cash, you organise a helicopter crash...
It worked for Sadam Hussein, after all. None of his gernals ever tried to overthrow him. And that's becasue all the ones who won more than a couple of battles in a row in the Iran-Iraq war, had helicopter crashes. Of course that war dragged on for years, and his military subsequently got their arses kicked, at least partly due to incompetent leadership. But you can't have everything...
Not to mention the threat to 'bath-snakes'...
I don't wish to know that! Kindly leave the stage.
However it does explain why our friend Billy's ludicrously enormous member is now so much shorter. I'd heard that the girl next door had hit it with a rake, but this turns out not to be the case. I now hear that he retired to the bath with his copy of Playboy - and only a sponge and a rubber duck for company...
That's £15 per user per month, including all the bells and whistles. So I guess it's too expensive for a family. Though I'm looking at it for our small company (as it's cheaper than running our current Exchange server). I guess it would be hard to do a cut-down family option though, that small businesses couldn't sneakily use, and save themselves a packet.
According to Microsoft's Office website, if you stop paying your subscription, all your saved Office documents become read-only. They don't delete them, or remove access to them. That's also assuming you didn't keep local copies. I checked this when I tested it.
I think you're going a bit far on "Corrupt and Disgusting" as well. They're a company charging you for a thing. If you don't want the thing, don't use the thing, and you don't have to pay for the thing. There are perfectly viable free or paid-for alternatives.
Historically Microsoft's Office has been at least somewhat better than most of these rivals over a long enough period that people have been willing to pay them many billions of dollars to use it. They may be over-charging, but the fact they still get paid when there are free alternatives suggests they must be doing something right.
If productivtiy software is a commodity, what's the alternative to Outlook?
As I may have said before, I know many people who swear by Outlook. Personally I swear at it... I've never liked it myself, but I don't know of any other product that can do the same address book / email / joint calendar stuff. I've never used Lotus Notes, but I don't believe that's a possibility for small business and personal use, and anyway it seems to be universally loathed.
I also know many users who absolutely love it. If you tried to take away Outlook or the iPhones from our road warriors, they'd drag you outside and burn you in a 20' high wicker phone...
After over 15 years of using Office (bugger it really is that long!) I've made my peace with Outlook and got used to Word. But Excel is still one of my favourite pieces of software. I've tried a few other spreadsheets, and not liked them as much. For light personal use LibreOffice is great. For work, I'll pay for Excel every time.
Nice post, have an upvote. Even if you did point out my speeling miskate. There's 2 typos in my post, and both on the word dentist. Suppressed trauma perhaps? I don't remember anything too bad. Although my dentist when I was a kid did run away to Australia. But that was with £100k of NHS funds, rather than because of anything more sinister. Or so I was told anyway...
Surely there was a third alternative?
They should have agreed to pay the blackmailers. Arranged for the handover in an underground carpark (where else?), then some laughing gas and drugs later, the criminals would wake up strapped to a densist's chair in a secluded location. One denist with strong german accent, a bit of giggling and drilling later, and I'm sure they could have got all the information returned, along with a fullsome apology.
The price is steadily dropping. I think it dropped down to $400 the other day, but bounced back towards $500 again. However it's been in steady decline since the heady pre-Christmas days of over $1,000.
But that's the point. Those were only days. And not very many days at that. There seems to be a steady trade in the things still. So there's definitely a value there. There's definitely a continuing market. But it's a much smaller market than the hype suggests, and therefore I think the price will probably keep dropping back towards the $100-$200 range. Maybe much lower.
All this is assuming the exchanges are giving true information. It would be easy for them to hype the prices by posting false numbers - because transaction volumes are so low. Esepcially if they're willing to trade with their customers' funds (in the way Mt Gox were considering to save themselves). It would be an easy market to rig, either by trading or by fiddling the figures. It might even be possible to do some of that legally, as it's not a regulated market.
My friend lives in sunny Blighty. And had said that he'd tried to install a couple of apps - presumably where he'd seen something that had an Android app - and they weren't available for Kindle. I'm aware he could sideload them - although I don't think he is.
A brief search suggests that the Kindle app store has about 1/5th the number of apps as Google. Which is pretty impressive. Although I don't know if there are many US only apps.
However given you can get a decent ASUS 7" Android tablet for under £100 - which will take all of Amazon's services I wouldn't recomment the Kindles. They're quite limited in some ways. And I suspect Amazon will do the same to any phone they sell. As for Windows Phone's app store being unloved, I'd imagine it's probably at a similar level to the Amazon one. And similarly lacking in the kind of apps for museums and companies, where they just knock-up an iPhone and mostly Android app.
I suffer from nystagmus (involuntary eye movements). So I suspect I can confuse eye-tracking tech - and make things look even worse.
However just because it doesn't work for me doesn't necessarily mean it's not a valuable piece of new tech, rather than a crappy old gimmick. I just happen to think that in this case it is a crappy old gimmick, even for people with the sight to appreciate it.
Has the Nintendo 3DS done all that well? I thought they'd brought out a non-3d version because it hadn't. And also to cater to the people who couldn't see the 3d effect.
I suppose 3d is most likely to take off in gaming. It seems to be on the wane a bit at the cinema (although I enjoyed it in 'Gravity'), and 3d tellies have not been the huge sellers the manufacturers hoped for.
As gimmicks go, it could do well to launch an Amazon phone that had a large emphasis on games. However my impression of Amazon's app store (from a friend who has a Kindle Fire) is that there's more tumbleweed in there than in Microsoft's mobile app store. The Fire works really well for Amazon because it's tied into the books, films and music content. An area where they're very strong. But apps is a major weakness, and it's hard to fix without users - but hard to get users without apps...
My other problem is that, in my opinion at least, 3d only works on big screens. I find the effect breaks down if my eye is forced to focus on both the 3d image, and the surroundings. So if I sit too far back in the cinema during a 3d film, my brain does this weird flip between seeing the 3d - then seeing the screen as a flat picture on the wall, then going back to seeing the 3d. Headache inducing. Whereas at the front, where the screen fills my visual field, I can stay in the 3d illusion. I don't know if that's just me though?
I wonder if he'll be the richest man not on the planet by then? Floating around Earth in his laser-armed space station, stroking his white cat, while simultaneously planning world domination and sending off colony ships to Mars and miners to the asteroid belt. It's nominative determinism in action.
All Hail to our laser-totin', cheese-tastic, rocket-hopping, horribly be-weaponed SpaceX overlords!
Never mind the astronauts' sarnies. The poor robot up there hasn't got any legs!
You'd be pretty pissed off if the bus carrying your legs kept getting delayed by several days at a time.
I guess I'd be pretty anti-Musk if I was still selling 1960s tech rockets for 3 times the price he's charging for ones he's just developed. Profits are yummy - and he should just bugger off and leave us to it!
There's going to need to be some adaptation in this market, pretty damned quickly, or Musk is going to steal everyone's money. And good luck to him.
"Today's launch has been scrubbed due to a Helium leak on Falcon 9's first stage. A fix will be implemented by the next launch opportunity on Friday April 18, though weather on that date isn't ideal," the company spokesman said, in a squeaky voice.
Correct. In the absence of snowballs in hell, or bears utilising the smallest room rather than the woods, there's very little point in wishing for a government that only spends our money efficiently.
Therefore I shall fall back on the advice of Dogbert. A guru who all should follow. "Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines."
I take this advice to mean that if it's pointless to wish for efficient government, I'm better to wish for an inefficient government to waste some tax-payers' money, by giving it to me.
Arnaut the less,
Sir! Sir! I know this one sir!
I can tell you what HP software does. It's easy-peasy.
HP software checks for updates. Then fails to connect to the server (for various different reasons). HP software then plasters warnings all over your screen that it's failed to update - then disappears. HP software then waits a couple of days, only to ambush you again with 5 pop-ups and hysterical demands to be allowed to update. Repeat. For ever.
That's some properly horrible fonts they've used on that website.
Half the Nexus price will get you a Nokia Lumia 620 (or is it 625?). Which is a better phone address book and calendar, but much worse mobile computer. Or someone above says they paid £99 for a Moto G.
I've currently got a work iPhone 5. Free is obviously best - but when I pay for a smartphone myself, the limit is about £250. There's some really good stuff at about £100-£150, but it may well be worth springing for the latest Nexus. Except I want an SD card, so I can replace my ageing 120GB iPod.
Oh no. Don't forget that phones are apparently free!
For example, in the UK market I think you get a 'free' latest iPhone or Galaxy S5 on about £40 per month. Over a 2 year contract I guess that would mean only an extra £5 per month. I'm sure we can just call that inflation, and no-one will notice...
So as you say it's probably not a big enough difference that it'll drive everyone to say "sod that! The top-of-the-range Androids are just as good, I'm going to save myself £120" I suspect many people will think that a fiver is worth it to keep their beloved iPhone. And in fact there won't be a difference, as Sammy can put up it's prices to match - or equally likely (as they've already set their prices) the phone companies can just put their prices up and pocket some extra profit.
I do find top-end smartphone prices amazing. You can get an iPad for £400, why should a phone with a quarter the expensive battery and screen cost more? The difference in Samsung's prices is even higher.
A few years back it made sense to pay top-dollar. The top-end phones were far superior to what you could get for even £250. But nowadays you can have a Nokia Lumia 620 for £130! It's not good enough if you need apps (which I don't), but it's an extremely good phone with calendar/diary/email and sat-nav. Or just over £200 for a Nexus or Moto G. Now the top-end phones are stupidly over-priced.
If one is stuggling to understand the impenetrable accent of a person from Scotland's second city, does one use a Weegie board?
Or like Starbucks announcing that there are absolutely no rat-droppings in their coffee...
Starbucks serve coffee?!?!
Yeah, but helium 3 makes awesome party balloons...
You get that in the buidling services industry too. So maybe it's more commonplace. If I talk to a potential new customer, and then wander off to their website for a quick looksee, it's often a huge struggle. If it's a small contractor, then it's easier. The bigger contractors are often hard to distinguish from the consulting engineers.
However, if after 5 minutes of searching for information I still have no bloody idea what the company does - then it's probably a multi-disciplinary architectural/engineering practice specialising in people-centric spaces, environmental harmony and a co-operative, synergistic approach to design lifecycle management...
The whalesong in my head usually drowns out the voices telling me to burn their building down for the good of humanity...
I spoke to an Irish guy on the phone this morning. I'd not managed to even start to focus on his name at the beginning of the call, before he'd gone on to give me his company, the quote number and 3 questions about the product codes. That was the first second of the conversation over in a blur of incomprehensible speed.
After about a minute, I'd managed to figuretively jump on him, wrestle him to the ground and wring a few words out of him. And conversation could begin. I found that the trick was to keep asking questions. He seemed to have an accelaration period, so the first ten words were audible. After which, he'd approached sufficiently closely to the speed of light for him to be inaudible in my time-packet.
I'm pretty good at accents. I was the only one of my friends who could understand Pat the glaswegian welder. Until he got excited or drunk, when only dogs could hear him.
I'd expect to get 98% of a high-strength SW Irish accent at normal speed. But like the tortoise who got mugged by 4 snails, it all just happened too fast...
I'm a bit of an accent mongrel myself. My parents are South London, moved to a South East market town, so add a bit of twang (burr?) of the old, dying, county accent and a large dose of posh, picked up from grammar school in the posher town-next-door. So it all tends to be a bit variable.
Battery: I don't this as that bad a problem. I usually wear my watch in bed, but I think most people take theirs off at night. So I don't see why it would be a problem, with a nice stand - and I'm sure I would get used to charging it overnight in a very short time. So it needs a battery that can stand a long weekend without you needing to take your charger with you. And I guess, intelligent software that turns it into a watch (disabling the smart features), that'll last for a couple of days on the remaining 10% of battery.
Hugeness: They all seem to be bleedin' enormous. Then again, some people will strap a Rolex the size of a dinner plate to their wrist.
Hideousness: Fugly is the word, I believe. I find a lot of the Rolexes and Omegas of this world pretty hideous as well - but in an over-the-top-blingtasic sort of a way. Most of the smartwatches look really plasticky and nasty, which added to their enormous hugeousity makes them very noticeable. I once saw a mock-up of one of the supposed watches. You know the usual fake new iPhone from Digitimes sort of thing. Anyway, it was a huge aluminium bracelet with screen on. It looked so much better than anything I've yet seen. If you've got to be huge, you may as well make a feature of it.
Function: I guess this is the same problem of hugeness and re-charging. The battery tech isn't yet up to the job. The compromises of battery and screen size seem to make it a fun toy only. I guess it's useful to some people to do a bit of inbox sorting while on a crowded train. But really, if you've got the space to operate your watch with the other hand, you've got theh space to hold your phone and do it. Therefore I really can't see the smartwatch moving out of the realm of useful geek toy. Then again, I was an enthusiastic early iPad buyer, who thought they'd never take off as a mass market thing either - as I noticed no increase in interest between my iPad and my previous tablet PC. People liked both, but didn't see the point for themselves. Now loads of people have tablets. So what do I know?
I'm not panda-ing to anyone, just because they want an easy ride...
Cheating? Well maybe. But as Simon Harris has so handily volunteered, it would be a shame to waste his offer.
We'll sit him down in front of that 70s classic movie Volerball. Have a ferret through his trousers, and then start things off nice and weaselly. Moving up through the sizes, and see how much he can bear.
[I think I'm missing I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue...]
This inspires me. I'm going to do my own research project, on the variance in pain of various animal bites. So I'm thinking of testing the pain levels from the following:
Badgers on nadgers
Dogs on bollocks
Squirrels on nuts
Many people just don't think. It just doesn't occur to them to do the obvious stuff. Rather like offering vegetarians chicken because 'well veggies really eat chicken don't they?'
So they forget the one tiny step in the middle of the lobby which makes it completely wheelchair inaccessible even though the rest of it's flat and there's a lift. Or the flat I looked at when I was househunting, which had an extra wide corridor and doors plus waist high light switches. It wasted loads of useable space. And what made it excellent was the flat is on the fourth floor of a building with no lift! I guess it's perfect for the new Daleks that can fly...
My problem is all the cafes and restaurants who will insist on sticking their menus on a board behind the bar or 10 feet up - whereas if they just stuck it on the wall to the side, almost everyone could read it. Or the fuckwits in supermarkets who put price labels in 12 point type at ankle height. What am I supposed to do, lie on the bloody floor? Many shops actually use eight point type for their product labels on the shelf edge. Are they short of ink or something? Surely none of this is rocket science?
In the end it's relatively easy for me. A phone camera with zoom, reading glasses and a monocular solve most problems. Although it's frustrating because so much of could be solved so cheaply. Dealing with people with mobility problems is more expensive but should also be more obvious.
O2 dropped half my calls, even when I had full signal. I guess that was network capacity issues, like with their over-sold 3G.
Vodafone were OK, other than "forgetting" one month that we had a 3GB broadband allowance between 3 of our 7 company phones, and so charging us £2,300 instead of the usual £280. They fixed it, then buggered it up the next month. But only charged us £680 that time... Then couldn't work out what to bill us, and ended up giving us a random refund - which probably left us £50 up. ish... Network was less good than I expected, but OK.
EE have also buggered up our billing, and seem to have surprising holes in their network too. And I still get a bit of the full signal but nothing, then suddenly 3 missed calls thing.
3 have never given me any problems. But then I only use them 3 or 4 times a year on a PAYG MiFi.
Sorry I can't be more helpful. Orange, before the France Telecom takeover, were the dog's bollocks.
the badger's nadgers? But were never the same afterwards, and I don't see that EE has improved things. Sad.
Don't complain if we're defrauding you. Simply move to a different billing package, which will steal your money in a different way...
This reminds me of an email bug I had with BT over ten years ago. It was a strange incompatibility between 2 of their own servers, where you'd get up to a one week delay on mail deliveries between BT Connect and BT Internet. They were the business and domestic email systems respectively.
I remember the trouble I had getting through the script readers of 1st line support. But I managed it one day. This was when they still had UK call centres, I doubt I'd get anywhere now they've outsourced to India.
Because I had a decent bunch of emails from several different Connect users, and it was happening all the time - I managed to talk to one guy who recognised it was a problem. 2nd line support quickly sent me through to a nice chap who was an outside consultant, and clearly had been working on this problem for a while. Even though normal support didn't know about it, and it wasn't mentioned on their service support pages. 2nd line support actually opened a ticket for me, so I got some updates. They then fixed the problem. But it re-occurred after a couple more months, and I didn't succeed in getting past 1st line support again - and they said there was no ticket. So I set up a domain and swore off BT's horrible email - which they then outsourced to Yahoo.
I guess that's the way to run a bug-free system. Don't let any bugger open a ticket.
This reminds me of the mighty WAP.
The one downside of my favourite phone ever, the Motorola RAZR V3i (replacing my original RAZR after a few years) was that it had a hard-wired WAP button. Had a nice etched globe on it, to suggest that WAP would connect you to the world. Rather than the handful of slow, rancid, unloved sites that it actually gave you access to...
Anyway on my Orange version of the phone, this button was hardwired, and impossible to disable. And they'd cunningly placed it right next to the red end-call button, which was also the return to home menu button, and the on/off switch. When you pressed it, it auto-connected to Orange's WAP portal, and cost you about 2p.
I presume someone got something out of WAP. The couple of times I used it, I never succeeded in downloading any page with the info on it that I was actually looking for.
Nice security from Facebook there! Oh sure, anyone from a remote location can download 77 million records from our database - including private data. Can't see anything going wrong with that...
Still at least one person can't clear their 'jerk' status however much they pay. Mr John Fanning is the Jerk CEO who's just been hauled before the WTC beak. I like that sentence becasue it's correct in both its meanings. Although his company should really be called Fuckwit to be a more accurate description...
So that's the secret plan is it? Now I understand. In a series reboot Abrams is going to merge the Trek and Wars universes, and take them into a new parallel universe so that he can use the original characters.
In the pllot of this new film Cmdr Data will destroy the Death Star by reversing the neutron flux of the tachyon beam - thus setting up a resonance in the Death Star's dilithium crystals, causing it to explode. Meanwhile Luke will be busy saving the Star Destroyer Enterprise by battling the hordes of tribbles, with only his lightsabre. Lt Uhuru will be getting jiggy with Han Solo (who shoots first).
Darth Spock has been turned by the Emperor, but is saved from his final doom as the Emperor is unable to close the helmet over his ears - so Spock is forced to go to the space burns unit instead for his injuries. After being returned to the planet Vulcan for counselling he becomes a wookie hair-stylist, thus making the wookies considerably less grumpy as a race, and reducing the number of smuggler-pilots in the galaxy.
This creates an opening for Kirk, who therefore wins the contract to fly for Princess Leia - and lay 'er he does...
[that's enough - Ed]
Well the Phantom Morass was all about a tax dispute. So this latest one can be about a patent lawsuit. And go on-and-on-and-on-and-on...
Darth Jobs: Release your artistic side! For art leads to minimalism - and minimalism leads to the fruity side of the force!
Is that Meerkat named after El Reg's Google-baiting, scourge-of-Metro journalist who likes Windows Phone?
Thinking about it, no-one's ever seen them both at the same time. Enquiring minds would like to know...
I think you'll find that the familiar face in question is Alexandr Orlov. Yes, this episode is going to be subtitled 'Meerkats in Spaaaaaace!'. Will have great success with meerkat toys! Simples!
Is making memory of Jar Jar much more popular.
Remember, you heard it here first.
I think one of the early problems was the supermarkets' databases (rather than the machines). Having worked for a large retailer I know that the buying teams didn't enter all the information from the suppliers into the product database. They only put in the stuff we used at the time.
So when EU regulations on packaging disposal and recycling came in, we had no data - and I rather suspect just made the figures up. Then paid a company to 'off-set' our recycling target.
In the same way, I'd imagine their databases were inaccurate on product weight. Which is why you heard so many bellowed "unexpected item in bagging area". They probably had the net weight, rather than the weight including packaging. Or just mistypes / missing data. I'm pretty sure I remember one particular product I buy regularly, that never worked. So it's a better explanation than different machines, on different days not liking it.
That's OK. We'll rename it to noughts and kisses.
[sadly we don't appear to have a vomit icon]
I predict that this sensor will be very useful, and will tell us exactly when the iWatch is due to be released. When it stops receiving all UV data, because hell has frozen over, then-and-only-then will Apple sell a watch.
I suspect they'll be selling a 32K, curved, OLEP, 3d, 100" diamond-encrusted telly first...
t just worked so I didn't investigate whether it back ground installed Zune.
Nah. I think MS Killed Zune with Win Pho 8. It may even have been as early as 7.5. The Zune player and Sync software looked like something that had been coded in Flash by a monkey with a really bad hangover, and a hatred of users.
They junked it, and just pinged files across with USB - as they should have done originally.
Thanks. I guess I'll have to wander into a shop and have a play with one soon. I don't give my poor iPod long to live. And you don't get much onto an 8GB iPhone.
I regularly get zipped files emailed to me. It's common in the construction industry, where tender documents can get pretty huge.
Although I've noticed lots of links to Dropbox going round in the last 6 monnths, so maybe the zips aren't getting through corporate mail scanners anymore.
That's OK though. Many people won't notice. A friend of mine has invested a decent amount of cash ina nice sound system. I guess the biggest goodness comes from some nice speakers. But he goes to some effort to buy media that has surround sound. However, due to the shape of his room, the focus of the sound is on the middle seat of the sofa, and he always sits in one armchair by the telly.
Even though he's fully awre where the sweet spot is, that still doesn't override sitting in the most comfy chair. And he's one of the few people I know who will sit down and just listen to some music, while not doing anythine else at the same time.
I really think that many of these technology companies massively overestimate most consumers' level of giving-a-damn about the shiny features. Even the ones who actually understand the technical aspects will sacrifice perfection for more comfort, convenience or lower price.