* Posts by PeterM42

421 posts • joined 18 Jun 2009

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Security bod watches heart data flow from her pacemaker to doctor via ... er, SMS? 3G? Email?

PeterM42

I'll just change the channel on this router.......

.....cough, choke......URGH!

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HSBC online customers still in the cold after hours-long lockout

PeterM42

You could all save a lot of trouble.......

......by switching to Santander. Don't get problems with their online banking.

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TalkTalk Business email servers titsup for days after DNS config snafu

PeterM42
FAIL

Re: Ha

"The levels of salt need to measured in tonnes. [Is that a new unit, a TalkTalk's worth of salt?]"

No - TalkTalk's bullshit is measured in CrapCraps.

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Microsoft shelves 'suicidal' Android-on-Windows plan

PeterM42
Megaphone

A dose of reality

Windows took over the desktop despite NOT being the best technology (bit like VHS vs Betamax).

Android is taking over the tablet/smartphone despite NOT being the best technology.

Microsoft should not waste any more effort/money chasing a market already lost.

Roll on Android on the desktop/laptop for the same reasons that Windows took that marketplace.

In the meantime Bluestacks works quite well. (www.bluestacks.com)

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Pause Patch Tuesday downloads, buggy code can kill Outlook

PeterM42
FAIL

Re: Directly from Microsoft

"Well, no-one who's installed the patch can send them email telling them that they've fucked up again..."

Er.... you left out the YET (again).

Another day, another MicroCRAP cockup.

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HMRC signs up Bain for £10.7bn Aspire migration

PeterM42
FAIL

Yet another Government IT disaster on it's way?

Virtually guaranteed!

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Cloud drives up growth in SAP's third quarter

PeterM42
FAIL

Q: Who on earth buys S(CR)AP?

A!: npower.

A2: Scottish Power

- the 2 energy companies bottom of the ratings list for customer service and top of the Energy Ombudsman's list for complaints. Guess who provides their billing systems?

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Hated Capita Contingent Labour One contract will be overhauled

PeterM42
Trollface

BRILLIANT!

Get a monopoly and a BRILLIANT new logo - nice one The Register.

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Oracle, SAP, IBM: They're rubbish and charge you billions for Excel, says man

PeterM42
FAIL

Ah - SAP.......

The system that generates customer complaints to regulators in place of energy bills (npower and Scottish Power).

"Sap" is often used as a derogatory term.

SAP is ALWAYS a derogatory system.

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Weird garbled Windows 7 update baffles world – now Microsoft reveals the truth

PeterM42
FAIL

WANKERS!!!!!!

Oh wait! - they are not that self - starting.

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Tear teardown down, roars Apple: iFixit app yanked from store

PeterM42

Re: Good reason not to deal with Apple

ABSOLUTELY.

As an IT consultant, I often get asked for advice (don't we all!?).

And I always recommend against the (technically superior?) Apple products for all the reasons expressed above.

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Capita: O2 call centre staff exodus is premature evacuation

PeterM42

Change of habit?

Better change of provider.

I swopped to Giff Gaff. (Yes I know it piggybacks off O2, but the service is MUCH better.)

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Shattered Skype slowly staggers to its feet after 15-HOUR outage outrage

PeterM42

Mmmm that's the problem....

....with Skype being owned and run by MICROCRAP.

They don't know how to do anything now Big Bill does not run the show.

Sorry, but it's true.

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Thousands cut off from email after EE bungles domain renewal

PeterM42

Everything Everywhere........?

AKA

NOTHING NOWHERE

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PeterM42
FAIL

Everything Everywhere........?

AKA

NOTHING, NOWHERE

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Printer drivers ate our homework, says NSW Dept of Education

PeterM42
FAIL

Why?......

......would anyone who looks at such things EVER even think of implementing a CRAP, sorry I mean SAP system?

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Windows 10 now on 75 million devices, says Microsoft

PeterM42
FAIL

Re: Ok so 10M have installed it

.....and add another 3 (or was it 4) failures - and that was only my test machine!

The "clever" thing Blundersoft are doing is to make you use an .iso so it won't authenticate the product key, which means: "Go buy a new licence".

BOG OFF BLUNDERS OFT!

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EE Harrier Mini grounded by errant Wi-Fi calling upgrade

PeterM42
Megaphone

Re: YOU borked it - replace it NOW.

Rule 4 - switch to GiffGaff.

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PeterM42
FAIL

Re: Cognitive dissonance here ...

Does this obvious lack of testing mean they are using ex-Blundersoft testers?

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Capita: Listen up redundo staff, we know you're leaving but...

PeterM42
Go

Some simple math

Crapita + O2 = DOUBLE disaster.

Go GiffGaff (best of contract AND PAYG)!

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Poor Imation's revenues continue their never-ending death spiral

PeterM42
FAIL

Probably just as well

Anything I ever bought from Imation was CRAP!

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FAIL: Windows 10 bulk patch produces INFINITE CRASH LOOP

PeterM42
FAIL

Blundersoft....

....strikes AGAIN!

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Susan Sheridan, voice of Hitchhiker's Trillian, dies aged 68

PeterM42
Unhappy

I guess...

...she now knows if the answer really is 42.

God Bless.

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Google dumps ISP email support. Virgin Media takes ball, stomps home

PeterM42
Facepalm

Re: who cares

The problems with getting your email hosted by your ISP become obvious when you change ISP!

What are your (free) alternatives? Crapoutlook? (AKA coldmail & dead.co.uk) GodMail?

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Dancing in the fluffy white stuff ain't helping SAP's bottom line

PeterM42
FAIL

I am reliably informed......

....that SAP is used for their billing systems by npower and Scottish Power, who are rated the WORST two energy suppliers, both being unable to produce bills in a timely manner.

'Nuff said.

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Toshiba CEO and execs quit over $1.2bn six-year accounting scandal

PeterM42
Pirate

So......

......are these gentlemen going to fall on their swords?

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BREAKING NEWS: Apple makes money

PeterM42
Headmaster

If Mr Tsipras was to talk nicely to Tim Cook..........

....it could solve Greece's debt problem?

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Emergency-service comms omnishambles worsens as HP dives for the door

PeterM42
FAIL

Any government-related technology...

....is likely to be FLAWED.

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What? EMEA PC sales dropped by HOW much?

PeterM42
FAIL

Ah!

This is the Windows 8/8.1/(9)/10 effect - produce CRAP, then screw up the fix.

How long before enterprises switch to Android desktop?

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SatNad's purple haze could see Lumia 'killed'. Way to go, chief!

PeterM42
Facepalm

Nadella killing off Windows Phone?

Er, no - it has already died

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Never mind the redundancies as Capita splashes cash on Barrachd

PeterM42
WTF?

I think there is a spelling mistake.....

....it should be CRAPITA.

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Decision time: Uninstall Adobe Flash or install yet another critical patch

PeterM42
Stop

Re: As a gesture of goodwill

I think you mean McCRAPafee.

Installation of Flash (sorry CRASH) has been trying to foist McCRAPafee on unsuspectiong users for some time - STOP IT!!!!!

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Pisspoor EE customer service earns it a cool £1 MILLION Ofcom fine

PeterM42
FAIL

T-Mobile + Orange = EE

Crap + Crap = Crap squared.

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PeterM42
FAIL

Re: Do They Even Try To Do Customer Service?

NO! (they don't).

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Capita: Call centre workers, can you fall on your swords? Please?

PeterM42
Facepalm

Not surprising

If their idiot call centre staff ACTUALLY did what their customers wanted (first time), they would not NEED so many call centre staff.

Pay peanuts, get monkeys.

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Apple apes Microsoft with iPhone BLUE SCREEN OF DEATH

PeterM42
Facepalm

T-Mobile + Orange = EE

Crap + Crap = Crap squared

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THIS TIME we really are ALL DOOMED, famous doomsayer prof says

PeterM42
Facepalm

We're all DOOMED...

......Oh! Wait!.....

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Whoops! AVG data centre KO'd by 'unplanned' outage

PeterM42
Trollface

Re: "unplanned maintenance outage"

er "CrackAfee" - do you mean McCRAPAfee?

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Adobe Flash fix FAIL exposes world's most popular sites

PeterM42
Mushroom

Re: Hang on...

" it sounds like a flaw still exists in the Flash player..."

Er, YES, just the one or two........... MILLION

Rename as crash.exe

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Microsoft enlists web security pariah Adobe to help build Internet Explorer-killer Spartan

PeterM42
FAIL

Sounds like......

...YET ANOTHER disaster impending from Microshit.

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PeterM42
Mushroom

Re: The Photoshop giant's doing the pretty bits, not the secure bits

"A whole browser written entirely in Flash would be pretty, don't you think?"

I have renamed it as "CRASH" 'coz that's just about all it does.

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PeterM42
FAIL

Re: This is the new Microsoft

"Let your partners in, but not so much they can destroy the whole foundation."

Er... I think you will find Microsoft have done that for themselves.

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BT set to undercut rivals with return to mobile biz

PeterM42

Re: OOooo PLEASE .....

"I would love something to use to try for a better deal...."

You need to look at GiffGaff. m8.

BT stands for Bunch of Tossers, BTW

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SAP admits - shock! - it sells to governments, denies that means backdoors

PeterM42
FAIL

Don't worry

If the npower and Scottish Power experience is anything to go by, no one will be able to get information out of the system, anyway.

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In assault on American values, Lockheed BLASTS PICKUP with RAYGUN

PeterM42
Flame

Can I have one?

" Lockheed said its goal was to develop a version that can be mounted on vehicles."

I want to mount one rearward facing on my car to sort out those pesky tailgaters!

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Microsoft's patchwork falls apart … AGAIN!

PeterM42
FAIL

FAIL! FAIL! FAIL! FAIL! FAIL! FAIL!

sixth time in eight months.

If Bill Gates was dead, he would be turning in his grave..

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Flogging kit and services to UK.gov? YOUR LIFE IS ABOUT TO CHANGE

PeterM42
Facepalm

There's nothing quite like....

GOVERNMENT RED TAPE!!!!!

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Ubuntu smartphone to go on sale: It'll be harder to get than a new iPhone

PeterM42
FAIL

So how many apps....

....will be available on launch/flash sale day?

It's the same problem Microsoft had with Windows 8 phone. It will flop big time.

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SCIENTIFIC CONSENSUS that 2014 was record HOTTEST year? NO

PeterM42
Alert

"Global Warming" is a SCAM

0.01 degrees C - From my experience working with scientific equipment, that constitutes "NOISE".

Lies,

Damn Lies

and Statistics.

Any opportunity business and government can take to screw the public, more like!

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Netflix goes TITSUP WORLDWIDE (Total Inability To Support Usual Programming)

PeterM42
IT Angle

Definition of TITSUP

I thought that meant "Total Inability To Support Useless Programmers".

Any variants on that?

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