* Posts by John G Imrie

1467 posts • joined 17 Jun 2009

Pull the plug! PowerPoint may kill my conference audience

John G Imrie
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Re: I got to laugh at my boss.

Are you related to Simon Travaglia?

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John G Imrie
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Re: hmmm.... or a broach.

Looks like I picked the wrong week to give up sniffing glue.

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If we can't fix this printer tonight, the bank's core app will stop working

John G Imrie
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Re: Who's Tom?

Oh, that Tom, I thought you meant Tom

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I want to remotely disable Londoners' cars, says Met's top cop

John G Imrie
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Mushroom

Bridge, splat

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Lenovo denies claims it plotted with Microsoft to block Linux installs

John G Imrie
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Joke

Missed a bit

"does not intentionally block customers using other operating systems on its devices and is fully committed to providing Linux certifications and installation guidance on a wide range of products." Except for those products where we have an agreement with Microsoft

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We live in a world where a 'Hamdog' burger hybrid is patented

John G Imrie
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* I know, I know...

Actually you can quite legitimately say something is 10000000% better than something else.

200% better is twice as good

10000% better is 10 times as good

etc.

Or have I missed something and I'm barking up the wrong tree again.

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Dear sysadmin: This is how you stay relevant

John G Imrie
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It isn't their core business which is why it never gets the investment or focus it needs.

Until it goes TITSUP and suddenly management discovers they are an IT business because with out IT there is no business.

PS if you don't think your business is an IT business ask yourself this question.

How long can your business last without

a) marketing

b) HR

c) management

d) facilities

e) R&D

f) IT

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Non-doms pay 10 times more in income tax than average taxpayer group

John G Imrie
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THIS INEQUITY HAS TO STOP!

You are quite right about this and the Government has taken your comment on board. In order to fix this in next April's Budget there will be a tax of 10000% levied on all fast food outlets. This will have an added benefit of reducing the obesity epidemic in the country.

Yours,

Sir Humphrey.

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Microsoft thinks time crystals may be viable after all

John G Imrie
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Re: Magic Roundabout

So they have been talking to Dylon. It all makes sense now. Ommmmmm

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John G Imrie
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Re: Buh?

Indeed. I'm sure I recognised all the words but I'm no wiser now than when I started. I think we need a warning on these types of articles smiler to NSFW. I propose YBMM which stands for Your Brain May Melt

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Hacker takes down CEO wire transfer scammers, sends their Win 10 creds to the cops

John G Imrie
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Devil

Wnzhou should lose its banking rights NOW, problem solved. Any other bank/city/country/whoCaresWhat where money trails go cold, same thing

You can't do that. You'd shut down the City of London in under 24 hours.

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Lindsay Lohan's Grand Theft Auto V cartoon case kicked out of court

John G Imrie
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Re: @J R Hartley BAN THIS SICK FILTH

But then again... we'd have more lawyers on the dole.

And the problem with that is?

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UK nuke warhead builders shift IT gear into public cloud

John G Imrie
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Re: Atomic Weapons Establishment moves to public mushroom cloud

yes

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Watch SpaceX's rocket dramatically detonate, destroying a $200m Facebook satellite

John G Imrie
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Re: Yes! Take that Cuckerberg!

Paid for an interesting video though.

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Robot cars probably won't happen, sniffs US transport chief

John G Imrie
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Happy

FTFY

Some people just like to drive. Some people don't trust the automation so they're going to want to drive. [And] there’s no software designer in the world that's ever going to be the test subject when they let these loose for real

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London's Met Police has missed the Windows XP escape deadline

John G Imrie
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If people didn't piss about at school they wouldn't need education as adults.

And if their jobs didn't get off shored they wouldn't need retraining either.

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London's 'automatic' Tube trains suffered 750 computer failures last year

John G Imrie
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Re: Really?

Southern claimed that 961 trains where cancelled due to the strike on Monday http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-36987040 and is running 341 less due to its emergency time table http://www.standard.co.uk/news/transport/southern-rail-crisishit-operator-confirms-it-will-cut-341-trains-in-new-timetable-a3288026.html

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John G Imrie
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Re: Vacancy for Robot Phsycologists now arising

You'll be after Susan Calvin's job next.

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Some benefits of digital health to NHS may be delayed by consent model consultation – expert

John G Imrie
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Unhappy

care.data is dead

long live care.data

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Sealed with an XSS: Popular vulnerabilities probed

John G Imrie
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Re: Obligatory XKCD

Hello '; SELECT * FROM users where id = 22991

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Australian spooks' email guide banishes MS Word macros, JavaScript

John G Imrie
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Re: ...but it would be nice if ..

I'm a coder, and working off site, it would be nice if I could send code snippets, scripts and patches to myself. Or to the local admin. Or to the quarintine area. Or too somewhere, anywhere, where I could retrieve it.

Use a text/plain MIME type then

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Church organist nabbed for playing glory hole in excelsis

John G Imrie
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Happy

Re: Ahem...

You are Samantha and I claim my £5

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The very latest on the DNC email conspiracy. Which conspiracy? All of them, of course!

John G Imrie
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Re: Noooooo!!

Now I have an image of Trump and Clinton fighting in a sand pit, like Ragen and Chernenko in the video for Two Tribes

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Crashed and alone in a remote location: When paid help is no help

John G Imrie
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Re: Wilds of Yorkshire

Every sperm is sacred.

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Space station to get shiny new ringpiece for automatic penetration

John G Imrie
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Important question

Do you get to listen to the Blue Danube as the docking computer kicks in?

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Theresa or Teresa May? Twitter confuses nude model and new PM

John G Imrie
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Re: This is going to end badly.

Are you suggesting that Theresa is going to have problems pulling out as she has less experience than Teresa?

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UK.gov wants to fine websites £250,000 if teens watch porn vids

John G Imrie
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RTFM

The definition of commercial porn includes free

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Prominent Brit law firm instructed to block Brexit Article 50 trigger

John G Imrie
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Re: "No, No, No. Let me resign..."

Again?

He's going to have more comebacks than Mandelson.

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John G Imrie
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Re: From another angle...

The Act of Parliament that led to the referendum explicitly states that the referendum is non binding on Parliament. In effect it was nothing more than an opinion pole.

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Michael Gove says Britain needs to create its own DARPA

John G Imrie
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Not sure how to fix the weather issues, though

With enough global warming this won't be a problem

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A trip to the Twilight Zone with a support guy called Iron Maiden

John G Imrie
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Joke

Re: Depressing

If that was on the ballot paper I'd have gone for the second option.

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John G Imrie
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Not sure it's your brain Dabsy

I think you might need to get your ears checked out.

Now we all know what makes you blind. What makes you loose your hearing?

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Brexit-bored Brits back to bashing the bishop after ballot box blues

John G Imrie
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Re: Says everything that there is to be said

It,s absolutely certain that what they say you are going to vote for is not going to be the same thing as what you get after you have voted.

I thought that voting leave meant that we'd get shafted by a big dumb blond .... oh I see what you mean.

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Google off the hook for feeding kids bad cookies

John G Imrie
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Re: ROBOTS.TXT... schmobots.txt

You need top go back and RTFM. So far the courts have said

a) You can't sue Google because they acted in good faith.

b) You can't sue Nic.com the cookies as they where sufficiently anonymised.

c) You can sue Nic.com over their claim of "HEY GROWN-UPS: We don't collect ANY personal information about your kids. Which means we couldn't share it even if we wanted to!".

So your point was?

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Visiting America? US border agents want your Twitter, Facebook URLs

John G Imrie
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Re: I guess it's good then that I'm a citizen and not a visitor....

Odd that my reality is so different from yours, I had been told some horror stories about US Passport control, but I had no problems. The passport officer even smiled when my g/f made a rather crap joke.

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Parliament takes axe to 2nd EU referendum petition

John G Imrie
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The only meaningful poll is one to force immediate issuing of article 50 notification before the scoundrels can manipulate the situation into something worse.

I voted remain, but I'm with you on this

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Hey cloud lawyer: Can I take my client list with me?

John G Imrie
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It's tran-sexual, really

I'm a sweet Transvestite

from transsexual

Transylvania!

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John G Imrie
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Hi Frank

How's Transylvania this time of year?

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Snoopers' Charter 'goes too far' says retired Met assistant commish

John G Imrie
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Joke

So then

What did the Lib Dems do for us?

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Cats understand the laws of physics, researchers claim

John G Imrie
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Re: Cats know about the laws of gravity...

Cat's remember that we worshipped them as gods, no laws apply to them.

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Tinder bans under-18s: Moral panic averted

John G Imrie
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Childcatcher

Is that image for the story ...

legal under the cartoon kiddy porn laws?

And now I've got you all thinking about it it defiantly isn't

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EU referendum frenzy bazookas online voter registration. It's another #GovtDigiShambles

John G Imrie
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Re: I'd imagine it was two groups....

I think we could do with a different web site for checking if you are registered or not. That might relieve some of the pressure.

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John G Imrie
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Re: I'm in two minds about this...

I believe if you are not in the polling by 10pm you are officially out of luck. However some returning officers have allowed those in the queue at 10pm to enter the polling station thus allowing those people a vote.

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Scots denied Saltire emoji

John G Imrie
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Trollface

Re: @ Khaptain our national animal, the unicorn

Traditionally a Unicorn can only be tamed by a virgin. Which explains why there are so many wild ones in Scotland.

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Q: Is it wrong to dress as a crusader for an England match?

John G Imrie
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Joke

Someone gets offended on someone else's behalf.

I find you comment highly offensive.

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John G Imrie
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But the nation didn't do as the French did, and cut their fucking heads off.

We did, Charles I. Unfortunately after Cromwell died we invited the buggers back.

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Brexit? Cutting the old-school ties would do more for Brit tech world

John G Imrie
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Re: The facepalm is strong in this one

You get the elected European parliament to vote the out of office.

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$10bn Oracle v Google copyright jury verdict: Google wins, Java APIs in Android are Fair Use

John G Imrie
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Re: It's just business

It's just business guys. Remember Microsoft financing SCO to destroy Linux.

Yeah, what ever happened to Linux?

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John G Imrie
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Re: C'mon guys, we should cut Oracle some slack here.

Why?

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Queen guitarist Brian May releases virtual reality viewer

John G Imrie
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Re: 360° badger sett simulator

This whole thread is becoming a bit of a scandal in my opinion.

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