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* Posts by John G Imrie

1108 posts • joined 17 Jun 2009

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Meet Mr Gamification: He's got a NUDGE or two for you

John G Imrie
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games tackling extreme violence, and humiliation

He's been to the local BDSM club, hasn't he?

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Lords take revenge on REVENGE PORN publishers

John G Imrie
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Re: All very well...

Laws aren't for doing, they are for making. Once you have made a law you can say you have solved the problem.

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Redmond top man Satya Nadella: 'Microsoft LOVES Linux'

John G Imrie
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Well, unless you count prostitutes.

Prostitutes, like Beer, are never bought, merely rented.

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GP records soon wide open again: Just walk into a ‘safe haven’

John G Imrie
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Re: Care.data opy out

That's all true, but apart from the government, you, me and the rest of the El Reg, comentards, who

a) knows this exists

b) knows you can opt out

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John G Imrie
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Dear Tim Kelsey

Please forward all your medical records from birth until the present day, please include

a) Any trips to STD clinics while you where a student

b) Records from any hospital, GP, Pharmacist while on holiday

c) Long-term illnesses

Please also include medical records for all your relatives, living and dead for that last 100 years.

Please also include all the above for your spouses/girlfriends/boyfriends/one night stands, current and previous.

Please note that although you can anonymise the data we will do our best to match it to publicly available records do work out exactly who's medical record is who's.

Yours,

The British Public.

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French 'terror law' declares WAR on the INTERNET itself, say digi-rights folks

John G Imrie
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block websites deemed to “incite” or “glorify” terrorism.

That's the following web sites fucked then

and of cause those arch terrorists who made this propogander film

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It's even GRIMMER up North after MEGA SKY BROADBAND OUTAGE

John G Imrie
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Re: @rpb

Just as long as you don't blend them with Pontefract cakes they are horrible, and I like liquorice.

I'm sure that they are just some joke on the Southerners.

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Sway: Microsoft's new Office app doesn't have an Undo function

John G Imrie
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Re: Demographic

Comment on it. He proposed it when Satya Nadella came round for an afternoons relaxation in his sensory deprivation tank.

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Ada Lovelace Day: Meet the 6 women who gave you the 'computer'

John G Imrie
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Happy

Re: There's one very important woman missing from that list.

Mine did too, are we related ?

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Snapchat 'hack' pics mostly clothed user snaps, odd bits of legacy pr0n – report

John G Imrie
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"... no photos in the sample I examined featuring nudes of obviously under age subjects." -- So as long as someone isn't obviously underage, it's Ok?

No, but it does mean that the local Police Officer won't have to call round, what with having nude images of a minor being a strict liability offence.

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Something ate Google's 8.8.8.8 at about eight in Asia's evening

John G Imrie
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Re: Never trust in centralized services

Google has terminated other services at a whim.

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Three UK fined £250,000 for customer complaints COCKUP

John G Imrie
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Ofcom also noted that, although the investigation identified certain shortcomings in Three’s complaints handling processes, the harm to consumers was mitigated due to the efforts of frontline customer service staff.

Once again the low paid staff on the front line keep the high paid bosses asses out of the fire.

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Revealed: Malware that forces weak ATMs to spit out 'ALL THE CASH'

John G Imrie
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Re: "32-bit Windows-powered ATM"

Obviously the crooks aren't stealing enough to make it worthwhile for the banks to tighten their security.

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HOT BABES! Worried you won't get that JOB in IT? MENTION how hot you are

John G Imrie
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Re: My solemn promise

Does that include the men?

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John G Imrie
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So there you have it. If, as seems very likely, a large number of attractive women are reading this article and yearning for a chance to break through the glass door of female-beauty stereotyping and join our core readership in the traditionally male dominated world of IT, you now know how to achieve your dream.

What med's is the author on. And can I have some?

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Scrapping the Human Rights Act: What about privacy and freedom of expression?

John G Imrie
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Happy

Re: Will the preaching hate law ...

Don't be silly.

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John G Imrie
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@Harry Stottle

Thank you.

Though I think I might have poked my head a bit higher above the parapet,

again :-)

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John G Imrie
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Re: At first they came for the Paedophiles

I looked for groups of people that all had had laws enacted against them in my life time to take on some threat, real or imagined, where application of the law could, or has been, used against the wider society.

Oh, and I have a weird imagination. :-)

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John G Imrie
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Black Helicopters

At first they came for the Paedophiles

and I did not object as I am not a Paedophile

Then they came for the Benefit Fraudsters

and I did not object because I'm not on benefits

Then they came for the Extreme Porn producers

and I did not object because I'm not into blood sports

Then they came for the Extremists

and I did not object because I am not an Extremist.

Who will they come for next,

and who's going to stand up for me?

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Universal Credit CRISIS: Howard Shiplee SHIPS OUT of top job

John G Imrie
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To loose one MD is a tragady.

To loose 7 in 4 years looks like an incompetent hiring policy.

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Spammer uses innocent hacked blogs to punt NAKED PICS of JLaw, McKayla Maroney

John G Imrie
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Follow the money

Then sue Visa / Master card / Pay Pall / Other * for felicitating Child Porn.

*Delete as appropriate.

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WHY did Sunday Mirror stoop to slurping selfies for smut sting?

John G Imrie
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Mirror, Mirror

on the wall,

Who's the sleaziest f them all?

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Hackers thrash Bash Shellshock bug: World races to cover hole

John G Imrie
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Re: If you do not sanitize CGI input

The environment is set by the web server. If you give it a url like http://www.example.com/test.cgi?(){:;}; touch $DOCROOT/gotyou and test.cgi is a bash script then you are powned befor your script runs. if your script calls out to any other program that runs in a shell and you haven't explicitly tested for (){ in any of your environment variables then you are powned.

The reason is the the web server puts (){:;}; touch $DOCROOT/gotyou into the QURTY_STRING environment variable which then gets parsed by bash

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BMC Software flings patent sueball at ServiceNow

John G Imrie
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I asked a wise man what was the greatest joy in fighting patent trolls

He replied that it was ..

To crush their patents -- See their objections driven from the court before you, and to hear the lamentation of their lawyers.

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Swiss cops BAN MASKS at meeting of rebellious United Nations IP staff

John G Imrie
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Ammeters

At least compared to The City of London

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Sony says year's losses will be FOUR TIMES DEEPER than thought

John G Imrie
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Re: Well I'm still waiting for an appollogy

Haven't watched bought or used anything on that list. I guess others are doing the same, hence the loss.

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John G Imrie
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Well I'm still waiting for an appollogy

for the root kit fiasco and an apology to George Hotz the before I'll by any Sony kit.

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Microsoft tells judge: Hold us in contempt of court, we're NOT giving user emails to US govt

John G Imrie
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If MS loses

and Scotland votes Yes. There will be this brand new country with no treaties with anyone looking for a way to sure up it's economy.

Hello world's corporate HQ's.

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SHIP OF FAIL: How do we right capsized institutions we thought would NEVER go under?

John G Imrie
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Re: Perhaps a better question to ask would be...

That was working really well, until the politicians decided that the banks where too big to fail. We should have done what Island did and let the lot go into Bankruptcy.

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NUDE SELFIE CLOUD PERV menace: Apple 2FA? Sweet FA, more like

John G Imrie
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If they know your password they are doing "security" wrong. :)

No, they just keep the last 4 hashed versions plus the current hashed version then check the the hash of your new password is not the same as any of those stored.

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Govt waves stick at pirate-friendly Google search

John G Imrie
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When even the minister in charge ...

buys into the lie. Then you know we are fucked.

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BBC: We're going to slip CODING into kids' TV

John G Imrie
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If you arew going to teach coding

You are going to have to have at least a primer in logic first.

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Boffins attempt to prove the UNIVERSE IS JUST A HOLOGRAM

John G Imrie
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In the begining

Was the approach to the microphone, then the repeated binary count. This was followed by the Power Cord of creation.

Or that's what I heard, now could you pleas keep the noise down, I'm trying to listen.

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Huawei: 'Tizen has no chance', Windows Phone is 'difficult'... it's Android all the way

John G Imrie
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The company lost money on Windows Phone for the two years it spent trying to tout the Redmond OS, but found there was no consumer demand.

What after all those wonderful adverts I see saying how indispensable a Windows phone is to the small business man :-)

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Three new charges laid against alleged Silk Road kingpin

John G Imrie
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distribution of narcotics by means of the internet,

Does this mean you have to stick the ethernet cable up your nose to receive them.

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No, thank you. I will not code for the Caliphate

John G Imrie
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That was possibly...

the hardest thing to read I have ever come across on El Reg, and that include the articles on Quantum Mechanics.

Keep up the good work.

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John G Imrie
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No problem

As soon as the push Israel into the sea thy will be able to claim that domain.

Fuck I'm in a black mood today, what with IS running through the Middle East and Russia marching west; how long till WW3 kicks off.

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Vampires and Ninjas versus the Alien Jedi Robot Pirates: It's ON

John G Imrie
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What would happen if Chuck Norris took up Morris Dancing?

He'd be the last man standing after the stick and bucket dance.

PS Include the Black Morris of Lancre and the Elves are toast.

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True fact: 1 in 4 Brits are now TERRORISTS

John G Imrie
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Trollface

Now we are all perverts

Because that image in the article is a big nipple.

Now go wash your mind out. :-)

PS I would like it known that not all John's go around beheading people who's religious affiliations they disagree with.

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Chinese hackers spied on investigators of Flight MH370 - report

John G Imrie
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Re: "An IP address in china"

An awful lot of the worlds internet traffic goes through the US. I'd like to see the Received headers to check which countries could pick up the mail before sending it on to China.

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Munich considers dumping Linux for ... GULP ... Windows!

John G Imrie
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Re: The German city of Munich, which famously

Sorry top burst your bubble, but accepting a cash payment to make a case go away was enshrined in German, not Munich, law a long time before Bernie came along.

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Take the shame: Microsofties ADMIT to playing Internet Explorer name-change game

John G Imrie
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The search engion is Bing

The browser should be Bong.

¡Bing Bong!

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Boffins find hundreds of thousands of woefully insecure IoT devices

John G Imrie
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Headmaster

Surly...

200,001 as he asked for in the hundreds of thousands, not on the boarder of hundreds of thousands.

Icon chosen as it's the only pedant available.

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Dodgy payday loan ads make up 83% of cases probed by UK's FCA

John G Imrie
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Re: Usury

There is a law coming/come in that makes it illegal to recover more the 200% of the initial loan no matter the APR.

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John G Imrie
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Re: there is a legitimate use for these...

There are two assumptions you have made there.

1) You have a bank account.

2) Your bank will give you a credit/debit card.

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Totes AMAZEBALLS! Side boob, binge-watch and clickbait added to Oxford Dictionary

John G Imrie
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Re: It could be worse...

Comment ElReg uses unwords correctwise as follows

BB bellyfeel unwords plus prolefeed, verging crimethink. Goodthinkful persons doubbleplus rectify or unpersonwise.

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Blighty in SPAAAACE: Brit-built satellite films the Earth

John G Imrie
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Confused

Don't know weather to up-vote you for bigging up El Reg or down vote you for dissing the UK space boffins.

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John G Imrie
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Re: Space Sector

I get the feeling that this gets done despite of, rather than because of, our beloved leaders.

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Lawyer for alleged Silk Road kingpin wants all evidence thrown out

John G Imrie
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Re: I just don't care.

I'm arresting you for running a wholsale drug distribution business and for paying hitmen. These are serious offences so I'll see you at Guantanamo bay tomorrow morning. Please bring your own towel as water may well be involved in your interrogation.

Just how much latitude do you want to give me?

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Boffins spot weirder quantum capers as neutrons take the high road, spin takes the low

John G Imrie
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Ow!

My brain has climbed out of my ears and is refusing to re enter my head unless I promise to stop reading this kind of stuff.

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