* Posts by John G Imrie

1490 posts • joined 17 Jun 2009

Icelandic Pirate Party asked to form government

John G Imrie
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Re: Can we please just be serious for once..

They used to have a list on their web site, but that was obviously to sensible. Try http://mentalfloss.com/uk/politics/38967/monster-raving-loony-party-policies-that-were-enacted

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Exclusive: Team Trump's net neutrality guru talks to El Reg

John G Imrie
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Trump appointments

Every Trump appointment so far has been accompanied by 'it's the end of the world' headlines, which makes me wonder on who's vested interests is he trampling now?

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NASA sets fire to stuff in SPAAACE. On purpose. Because science

John G Imrie
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Really

I thought in space no one could hear you scream.

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Recruitment giant PageGroup hacked, Capgemini dev server blamed for info leak

John G Imrie
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"Capgemini fully manage our PageGroup websites and is regarded as a global leader in consulting, technology and outsourcing services. It has all the appropriate security certificates and ISO certifications in place, which we believed would ensure that the website environments would be secure and safe in their hands."

Translation:

We looked at them and their fig leaf was impressive

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KCL out(r)age continues: Two weeks TITSUP, two weeks to go

John G Imrie
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Re: lost opportunity for the subhead...

Where's Lemony Snicket when you need him?

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I've arrived on Mars. Argggh, my back!

John G Imrie
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Joke

Re: Yoga

At least Yogic Flying works in space.

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Vodafone rapped with RECORD £4.6m fine for failing customers

John G Imrie
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Aparently

All the customers got their money back. Though I've yet to see if interest was paid on the balance.

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NSA, GCHQ and even Donald Trump are all after your data

John G Imrie
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Happy

Re: Sharon and John

So that was her name, thanks.

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Roboats hunt 'mines' and 'submarines' on Ex Unmanned Warrior

John G Imrie
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Machiavelli on troops

I say, therefore, that the arms with which a prince defends his state are either his own, or they are mercenaries, auxiliaries, or mixed. Mercenaries and auxiliaries are useless and dangerous; and if one holds his state based on these arms, he will stand neither firm nor safe; for they are disunited, ambitious and without discipline, unfaithful, valiant before friends, cowardly before enemies; they have neither the fear of God nor fidelity to men, and destruction is deferred only so long as the attack is; for in peace one is robbed by them, and in war by the enemy. The fact is, they have no other attraction or reason for keeping the field than a trifle of stipend, which is not sufficient to make them willing to die for you. They are ready enough to be your soldiers whilst you do not make war, but if war comes they take themselves off or run from the foe

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Disney aims for Netflix. If the deal was made, it would shoot itself in the foot

John G Imrie
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Re: Really?

Dam you are right. Why the hell did I think it was Disney.

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John G Imrie
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FAIL

Really?

and be charged with making sure that content could go on a Disney channel without anyone raising an eyebrow.

Two words

Dead Pool

I think Disney is under new management

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Social media flame wars to be illegal, says top Crown prosecutor

John G Imrie
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encouraging an offence

You have encouraged an offence of insulting your self.

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Zilog reveals very, very distant heir to the Z80 empire

John G Imrie
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http://www.pofo.de/S8000/S8000_scaled.jpg.

404 Not found

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OpenStack Newton debuts, runs anything at almost any scale

John G Imrie
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Joke

Containers? VMs? Bare metal? Huge scale? Small scale? Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. And yes

Ill have whatever he's having

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Prime Minister May hints at shaking up Blighty's 'dysfunctional' rural broadband

John G Imrie
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UK Prime Minister Theresa May has suggested her government could intervene in failing markets

She should start with something easy, like transport

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User couldn't open documents or turn on PC, still asked for reference as IT expert

John G Imrie
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Alien

black buttons on a black box labelled with black writing

So that's where Disaster Area got their ships design from

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Pokemon NO! Hospital demands ban on virtual creatures after addicts invade private wards

John G Imrie
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I'm waiting for this years Darwin Awards

They are going to have to have a new category.

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UK.gov is doing sod all to break £20bn of locked-in IT contracts

John G Imrie
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Re: Is it really ludicrously high?

Those figures are skewed by social protection and health. Two things that don't have to be provided for by a company. Take them out and re do the figures.

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John G Imrie
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Re: Commercial confidentiality in the public domain

I have nothing against a failed bid being published at the behest of the bidder, I just thought that forcing it might deter people from bidding if they had to reveal their bid without the benefit of winning the contract.

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John G Imrie
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Re: Commercial confidentiality in the public domain

Id give a little leeway here in that failed bids did not have to be published, but the names of the companies / consortia did. This gives a slightly stronger hand to those organisations the next time the contract comes up for renewal countering the let's stick with the incumbent bias.

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John G Imrie
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Joke

Re: Costs a lot but employs a lot

The cost of IT services in the UK may be very high but it also employs a great number of people in the UK India.

FTFY

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Sinclair fans rejoice: ZX Spectrum Vega+ to launch October 20

John G Imrie
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Re: Hmmmm...

How about Elite Plus on the PC

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Unlucky Luckey: Oculus developers invoke anti-douchebag clause, halt games for VR goggles

John G Imrie
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Ratner Moment

Actually Ratner did make a come back see www.geraldonline.com

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Pull the plug! PowerPoint may kill my conference audience

John G Imrie
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Re: I got to laugh at my boss.

Are you related to Simon Travaglia?

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John G Imrie
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Re: hmmm.... or a broach.

Looks like I picked the wrong week to give up sniffing glue.

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If we can't fix this printer tonight, the bank's core app will stop working

John G Imrie
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Re: Who's Tom?

Oh, that Tom, I thought you meant Tom

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I want to remotely disable Londoners' cars, says Met's top cop

John G Imrie
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Mushroom

Bridge, splat

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Lenovo denies claims it plotted with Microsoft to block Linux installs

John G Imrie
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Joke

Missed a bit

"does not intentionally block customers using other operating systems on its devices and is fully committed to providing Linux certifications and installation guidance on a wide range of products." Except for those products where we have an agreement with Microsoft

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We live in a world where a 'Hamdog' burger hybrid is patented

John G Imrie
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* I know, I know...

Actually you can quite legitimately say something is 10000000% better than something else.

200% better is twice as good

10000% better is 10 times as good

etc.

Or have I missed something and I'm barking up the wrong tree again.

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Dear sysadmin: This is how you stay relevant

John G Imrie
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It isn't their core business which is why it never gets the investment or focus it needs.

Until it goes TITSUP and suddenly management discovers they are an IT business because with out IT there is no business.

PS if you don't think your business is an IT business ask yourself this question.

How long can your business last without

a) marketing

b) HR

c) management

d) facilities

e) R&D

f) IT

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Non-doms pay 10 times more in income tax than average taxpayer group

John G Imrie
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THIS INEQUITY HAS TO STOP!

You are quite right about this and the Government has taken your comment on board. In order to fix this in next April's Budget there will be a tax of 10000% levied on all fast food outlets. This will have an added benefit of reducing the obesity epidemic in the country.

Yours,

Sir Humphrey.

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Microsoft thinks time crystals may be viable after all

John G Imrie
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Re: Magic Roundabout

So they have been talking to Dylon. It all makes sense now. Ommmmmm

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John G Imrie
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Re: Buh?

Indeed. I'm sure I recognised all the words but I'm no wiser now than when I started. I think we need a warning on these types of articles smiler to NSFW. I propose YBMM which stands for Your Brain May Melt

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Hacker takes down CEO wire transfer scammers, sends their Win 10 creds to the cops

John G Imrie
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Devil

Wnzhou should lose its banking rights NOW, problem solved. Any other bank/city/country/whoCaresWhat where money trails go cold, same thing

You can't do that. You'd shut down the City of London in under 24 hours.

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Lindsay Lohan's Grand Theft Auto V cartoon case kicked out of court

John G Imrie
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Re: @J R Hartley BAN THIS SICK FILTH

But then again... we'd have more lawyers on the dole.

And the problem with that is?

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UK nuke warhead builders shift IT gear into public cloud

John G Imrie
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Re: Atomic Weapons Establishment moves to public mushroom cloud

yes

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Watch SpaceX's rocket dramatically detonate, destroying a $200m Facebook satellite

John G Imrie
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Re: Yes! Take that Cuckerberg!

Paid for an interesting video though.

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Robot cars probably won't happen, sniffs US transport chief

John G Imrie
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Happy

FTFY

Some people just like to drive. Some people don't trust the automation so they're going to want to drive. [And] there’s no software designer in the world that's ever going to be the test subject when they let these loose for real

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London's Met Police has missed the Windows XP escape deadline

John G Imrie
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If people didn't piss about at school they wouldn't need education as adults.

And if their jobs didn't get off shored they wouldn't need retraining either.

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London's 'automatic' Tube trains suffered 750 computer failures last year

John G Imrie
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Re: Really?

Southern claimed that 961 trains where cancelled due to the strike on Monday http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-36987040 and is running 341 less due to its emergency time table http://www.standard.co.uk/news/transport/southern-rail-crisishit-operator-confirms-it-will-cut-341-trains-in-new-timetable-a3288026.html

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John G Imrie
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Re: Vacancy for Robot Phsycologists now arising

You'll be after Susan Calvin's job next.

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Some benefits of digital health to NHS may be delayed by consent model consultation – expert

John G Imrie
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Unhappy

care.data is dead

long live care.data

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Sealed with an XSS: Popular vulnerabilities probed

John G Imrie
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Re: Obligatory XKCD

Hello '; SELECT * FROM users where id = 22991

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Australian spooks' email guide banishes MS Word macros, JavaScript

John G Imrie
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Re: ...but it would be nice if ..

I'm a coder, and working off site, it would be nice if I could send code snippets, scripts and patches to myself. Or to the local admin. Or to the quarintine area. Or too somewhere, anywhere, where I could retrieve it.

Use a text/plain MIME type then

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Church organist nabbed for playing glory hole in excelsis

John G Imrie
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Happy

Re: Ahem...

You are Samantha and I claim my £5

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The very latest on the DNC email conspiracy. Which conspiracy? All of them, of course!

John G Imrie
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Re: Noooooo!!

Now I have an image of Trump and Clinton fighting in a sand pit, like Ragen and Chernenko in the video for Two Tribes

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Crashed and alone in a remote location: When paid help is no help

John G Imrie
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Re: Wilds of Yorkshire

Every sperm is sacred.

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Space station to get shiny new ringpiece for automatic penetration

John G Imrie
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Important question

Do you get to listen to the Blue Danube as the docking computer kicks in?

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Theresa or Teresa May? Twitter confuses nude model and new PM

John G Imrie
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Re: This is going to end badly.

Are you suggesting that Theresa is going to have problems pulling out as she has less experience than Teresa?

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UK.gov wants to fine websites £250,000 if teens watch porn vids

John G Imrie
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RTFM

The definition of commercial porn includes free

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