* Posts by John G Imrie

1191 posts • joined 17 Jun 2009

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Home Office awards Raytheon £150m over e-borders cancellation

John G Imrie
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However, by 2010 it had terminated the contract, due to significant delays and missed targets.

So why are we paying these buggers anything?

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700,000 beautiful women do the bidding of one Twitter-scamming man

John G Imrie
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Re: Ahhh Twitter...

Does that mean that once you clear out all the scam accounts Twitter is left with one real user, namely Stephen Fry?

There is also the 5 Journalists paid to follow him

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PATRIOT Act axed, NSA spying halted ... wake up, Neo, it's just a dream in the US House of Reps

John G Imrie
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The Founding Fathers

The Founding Fathers new that the constitution was not perfect, that's why you have the amendments.

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Massive DDoS racks up $30,000-a-day Amazon bill for China activists

John G Imrie
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Not Hari Seldon

But Salvor Hardin

Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent

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UK.gov crackpots: Let's build vapourware-based sharing economy CITIES

John G Imrie
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Pirate

residents are encouraged to share as part of their daily lives

The last time I shared the RIAA hit me with a tone of bricks.

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Cisco posts kit to empty houses to dodge NSA chop shops

John G Imrie
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Re: Grammar pet peeve - it's boxii not boxen, as in virii not viruses

It's boxen.

Box => Boxen

as in

Ox => Oxen

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GCHQ: Ensure biz security by STOPPING everyone from TALKING

John G Imrie
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weakest link

Staff in general are the "weakest link in the security chain" and disgruntled employees and the mischief they can create are a particular threat, the spooks advise.

So not the CxO's who think security is for the little people then?

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Zombie SCO shuffles back into court seeking IBM Linux cash

John G Imrie
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Interference with Business Relationships

Didn't Novel settle that bit by calling SCO to heal when they first went after IBM

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Vince Cable opens hipster-friendly London tech creche

John G Imrie
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Re: a uniquely British solution

OCP here we come.

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John G Imrie
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Like Universities then. Oxford and Cambridge.

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Health & Safety is the responsibility of Connor's long-suffering girlfriend

John G Imrie
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Question

After checking out some code you notice one of the file s produces a syntax error. A quick blame on the code reveals it to be your boss after one of his all night hacking sessions.

Do you.

A) Quietly inform your boss, then fix the code so you look like a loyal employee.

B) Inform all your co workers so you all have amo during the next pay review

C) Update your CV as this is the second time this week this has happened, and it's Tuesday.

D) All of the above

The correct answer will be posted later.

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Microsoft man: Internet Explorer had to go because it's garbage

John G Imrie
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IE7

Thy art lucky lad*.

We'd dream of be able to only have to go back as far as IE7.

We still have client's on IE6 and that have no migration strategy.

We also have a bunch of clients who are getting ready to roll out their upgrade from Win XP to Windows 7.

IE7, ha. Lucky bugger.

* The author of this post was born in Yorkshire and knows the the Four Yorkshire Men sketch pre dates Monty Python's Flying Circus.

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Net neutrality secrecy: No one knows what the FCC approved (BUT Google has a good idea)

John G Imrie
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Senetor O'Riley ...

should serve himself with a Freedom of Information request to release all the versions of the regulations he has been given :-)

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Porn on Blogger – Google takes stiff action

John G Imrie
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So how soon

until a blog appears listing the please accept me page of all the porn blogs

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German music moguls slammed for 'wurst ever DMCA takedown spam'

John G Imrie
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Re: Fines

Google might be able to get away with it by claiming that they assumed that the documents sent to them where legal. Of cause if a judge decides that that is not a valid excuse than Google has a legal break on all DMCA take down notices, as they will have to take each before a judge to check that it's legal. If the judge agrees that Google's defence is valid there are two options.

1) The judge still allows the case against Google, but allows Google to use all the facts of the case to recover costs against the issuing party.

2) The judge moves that Google is not a party to the suit and says that the Injured party should sue the issuer,.

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John G Imrie
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Re: Why stop?

I think that an automated system with no human checking could be claimed not to be in good faith. As a minimum you should be able to challenge the issuing party to justify their code in court.

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I wish I'd leaked sooner says Edward Snowden in post-Oscar chinwag

John G Imrie
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The answer is simple.

Oprah: President Lout, is this a picture of you simulating sex with a stuffed goat.

President Lout: Yep, that's me. Thought it was funny at the time. How did you get hold of it, it was never copied of the wife's camera

Oprah: Er, an anonymous person gave it to us.

President Lout: Really and how did you verify that it was real.

Oprah: But you just admitted to it being real.

President Lout: Yes I did. But until then you where on a fishing expedition trying to discredit me and my policy of privacy for all. I don't want anyone to have to go through what you just put me through, and that includes you, and the anonymous person from whichever three letter agency gave you the photo

Oprah: Riiiiight?

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Evil CSS injection bug warning: Don't let hackers cross paths with your website

John G Imrie
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Re: The problem is that the server hasn't parsed the request URL properly.

I got the information from http://www.ietf.org/rfc/rfc3875 published in October 2004. How old are your books?

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John G Imrie
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The problem is that the server hasn't parsed the request URL properly.

Sorry the web server has parsed the URL properly.

A URL is <scheme> "://" <server-name> ":" <server-port> <script-path> <extra-path> "?" <query-string>

See that extra-path bit.

The URL to resource translator in a web server can do several things but once it decides to walk the file system it will go down the URL until it finds something that maps to a file rather than a directory. Anything else is passed through to the file. In the old days of CGI scripting it ended up in the PATH_INFO environment variable.

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Did NSA, GCHQ steal the secret key in YOUR phone SIM? It's LIKELY

John G Imrie
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Re: Bloody teenager

I was just going to down vote you but I decided that you are so wrong you need a reply.

How would you like me to follow you around all day and night and write down every thing you said and everyone you met, talked to, passed in the street.

Now assume that one of those people who you bumped into is a person of interest.

So as you bumped into them and as I'm a GCHQ bod I wonder why of all the people he passed that morning you where the only person he bumped into.

So I go back over all you life, and I do have a record of your life, and discover that while you where a student you attended a rally against the Government.

So now you are a person of interest so I get one of my colleges to break into your house and steal all your computers and your TVs.

First off I now have your electronic life that I can scan at my leisure.

Secondly the insurance agency delivers replacement goods riddled with spy ware so I can keep tabs on you.

Are you scared yet. Your life is an open book to me. I know who you are. I know where you work. I know that you smile at the receptionist every morning, interesting is there some latent romantic leanings there that I can use to get leverage against you. I know where your wife gets her hair done and the route your children take on the way home from school. I know which magazines you read, which websites you visit, that you long to holiday in Turky. I know that one of your children thinks they are gay but is afraid to come out to you. I know everything about you.

Cardinal Richelieu allegedly said

If you give me six lines written by the hand of the most honest of men, I will find something in them which will hang him.

I have your life

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Vodafone didn't have a £6bn tax bill. Sort yourselves out, Lefties

John G Imrie
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Yes. And that's a lie.

Really.

If that was the case how come Private Eye has not been sued into oblivion by

a) Vodafone

b) HMRC

c) David Hartnett

Could this be that Hartnett had to admit to 'mistakes' being made in his handling of Vodafone's tax bill?

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Microsoft's patchwork falls apart … AGAIN!

John G Imrie
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Re: Kudos for a job well done!

Well it might change more often than weekly, but us workers only get an update once a week.

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Watch: China has made an internet censorship THEME SONG

John G Imrie
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Re: Screen behind the chorus

You will sing along. Singing is Mandatory.

You will be Happy. Happiness is Mandatory.

The Party is your Friend.

Welcome to Paranoia CN. The new exciting extension to Paranoia XP.

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Gov.UK begs Google 'n' U.S. tech pals: Forget Ireland, come to Blighty

John G Imrie
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Unhappy

The "HQ-UK" initiative is intended to showcase why Blighty

The "HQ-UK" initiative is intended to showcase why Blighty London

FTFY

As I doubt any of these companies will be looking outside the M25

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Lashed Saudi blogger Raif: Prince Charles has word with new king

John G Imrie
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Expected Outcome

The Medical report will say that he is still not fit for the lashing and another one will be commissioned in a months time. This will be repeated until he leaves prison at which point the flogging will be conveniently forgotten about.

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SpaceX HOVER-SHIP landing scuppered by MASSIVE ocean waves

John G Imrie
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Return to land

IIRC The Russians used to bring their cosmanorts back on land rather than a splash down in the ocean.

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Now Samsung's spying smart TVs insert ADS in YOUR OWN movies

John G Imrie
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Happy

Special private film

I have a film of the rowing competition at the London Olympics as well.

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John G Imrie
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liquid innovations

I think he's taking the piss!

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Jeb Bush, the man who may lead the US in 2016, dumps Floridians' private data on the web

John G Imrie
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Re: We're entering a strange world where everything can be connected

even hovering over a link lets the web site know you are thinking about clicking

Not in my browser. and not in yours I expect unless the web page had downloaded some heat map generating javascript.

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Linux kernel set to get live patching in release 3.20

John G Imrie
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Re: Useless...

you need to find the little link in the shut down dialogue that says shut down without installing updates.

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Legalese and coding? Yup, it's the open-source FOSDEM shindig

John G Imrie
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*TALK TO YOUR LAWYER*.

My first reply was a joky response. However I strongly endorse the above.

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John G Imrie
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Re: Here's a question for your lawyers

IANAL:

Counter sue for the fact that she could have been a super model and cheated you out of your half of the 10's of millions she should have earned. Then let her argue in court why she isn't as good looking as a super model.

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'Privacy is DAMAGING to PROGRESS' says Irish big data whitepaper

John G Imrie
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We have progressed so rapidly that the term ownership is obsolete

Tell that to the music and movie businesses.

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Hey biz – cut fraud with digital ID verification. Yes, like Verify – Maude

John G Imrie
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Error in artical

s/ID assurance/ID Card/g

That should fix it :-)

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ALIENS are surely AMONG US: Average star has TWO potentially Earth-like worlds

John G Imrie
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Black Helicopters

When lewis gets back

make sure he holds his pen with the same hand he wrote with before he left. Other wise you can assume that ... Hang on there's someone at the door.

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Anthem, America's second biggest health insurer, HACKED: Millions hit by breach

John G Imrie
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Re: Wonderful...

Until it cost's more to settle the class action suits than fix IT security these things will keep happening.

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CHAINSAW HORROR advert earns GiffGaff a slap from regulator

John G Imrie
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Congradulatiuons ASA

You have actually made me feel sorry for GiffGaff

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Google gets my data, I get search and email and that. Help help, I'm being REPRESSED!

John G Imrie
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If you want to search the internet, you have to use Google

Don't believe the hype.

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Zimmermann slams Cameron’s ‘absurd’ plans for crypto ban

John G Imrie
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Unhappy

the terrorists have won.

When we all become suspects, the terrorists have won.

FTFY

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The Pirate Bay clambers back online after cop raid sunk site for 7 weeks

John G Imrie
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Don't Download This Song

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zGM8PT1eAvY

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Snoopers' Charter amendments withdrawn – FOR NOW ...

John G Imrie
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I blame 18 years of socialist government.

When was that, since Maggie got elected every government has been some shade of Blue.

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Why so tax-shy, big tech firms? – Bank of England governor

John G Imrie
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Re: Minor point of law

What turns "tax evaders" into "tax avoiders" is inadequate legislation by incompetent, lazy, undecided, or corrupt legislators. Westminster etc please take note. is laws being drafted by the same accountants who sell on the loopholes to the major companies.

FTFY

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Panicked teen hanged himself after receiving ransomware scam email

John G Imrie
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Things the Police should do

1) Close down the web site.

2) Track back the email

3) Treat this crime as seriously as murder.

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Doomsday Clock says 3 MINUTES to MIDNIGHT. Again

John G Imrie
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Re: Supervolcano and/or bolide impact.

You got those odds on Skynet? Don't they have the Terminator movies in Ireland?

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John G Imrie
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Re: In situations like this, I find it useful

Post Nuclear Apocalypses for Dummies

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Leaked doc: Europe's justice chiefs forming plans to cosy up to ISPs

John G Imrie
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Happy

Re: When will it sink in?

You want to remove a power of the state, that makes you a terrorist.

It's only funny because it's true.

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TERROR in SPACE: ISS 'Nauts end panic by switching computer off and on again

John G Imrie
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In space no one hears you fart

But they do see you move, what with equal and opposite reaction.

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Preserve the concinnity of English, caterwauls American university

John G Imrie
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Re: funny

The large amount of words in the English language is probably due to the fact that the island was conquered by world + dog* more than any other part of Europe.

That and the fact that we invaded most of the world as well, and nicked the words from the invaded countries that we liked.

cf pyjamas. curry and alcohol

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Professor's BEAGLE lost for 10 years FOUND ON MARS

John G Imrie
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Joke

Martians are inteligent

They don't have starbucks

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Google v Oracle: US Supreme Court turns to Obama in Java copyright war

John G Imrie
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Rewrite

If it chooses not to, Google may be in a precarious position with regard to its Android SDK,

If it chooses not to, Oracle may be in a precarious position with regard to every third party API it uses

To those who say which API's I'd say the API that allows an Oracle database to run on any operating system.

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