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* Posts by John G Imrie

844 posts • joined Wednesday 17th June 2009 22:36 GMT

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John G Imrie
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The Jermy Clarkson test.

Travels abroad, check. (must have passport)

Drives a motor vehicle on the public road, check (must have driving licence)

Has bank account, check. (lost money when published bank details)

Pretentious git likely to buy iThing, check.

John G Imrie
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why is the PAC running the shown and not HRMC?

Because the HMRC are a bunch of lying incompetents who'd sell out the UK's tax laws for a good lunch.

John G Imrie
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I want the results listed in terms of popularity

What happens when you search for Hoovers in the USA? Do you get a list of vacuum cleaners or people. If Google knows that you have been searching for the history of cleaning products in the USA it can take an educated guess as to which set of results are advantageous to you. If you don't like it you can turn off the personalised search results.

John G Imrie
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Happy

A similar argument applies to Time Travel - if it were possible, they'd already have visited.

But I did visit. Next Thursday.

John G Imrie
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Black Helicopters

It makes you ...

an evil computer hacker.

Please lie on the floor with your head towards the door. A behavioural correction worker will be with you soon.

Thank you for your cooperation.

John G Imrie
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Test Results?

"This should have painted a picture of a sociopathic layabout who is violently opposed to work, totally devoid of intellect and incapable of treating other people with anything but venomous contempt."

I suggest a career in Politics or as a Non Executive Director of a Fortune 500 / FT 100 Company would be suitable.

John G Imrie
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Re: "...pay a fine of 800,000 ISK ($6,829) per day."

That's the, 'You pissed me off this week fine'. The 'You are still pissing me off' fine is likly to be bigger, and involve Jail time.

Judges do not like it when you stick two fingers up at their rulings.

John G Imrie
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Too bad they don't have a firefox plugin for this

You mean that this doesn't exist?

John G Imrie
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Micosoft

FOAD

John G Imrie
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high risk and too cheap to be credible,

Translation.

At that cost you wont be able to take any of us out to the Opera, Wimbledon final, British Grand Prix. (Delete as Appropriate)

John G Imrie
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No snakes.

Well next year it will be easy to work out what they where eating.

John G Imrie
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Re: How Did We Survive

Bearskin, thy where lucky lad, my dad made us go out and kill out own bears with our teeth... etc.

John G Imrie
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" they will either start dumping in garbage data in the system as fast as possible just to get it finished or leave the company because they are tired of doing data entry every time they make a phone call, meet with someone, send an email, etc."

Yes, if you make them do it by hand, and especially so if you make them do it more than once. eg. Time sheet and the New Shiny System tm.

You need to ensure that as much of this stuff is automated. Take a look at how your Lawyer manages to bill you in .1 of an hour increments.

John G Imrie
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Disaster Area

Boy meats girl and falls in love under silvery moon, which suddenly explodes for no adequately explored reason.

Though I may have got the order a bit wrong.

John G Imrie
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Pilot can regain controll

Fly by wire anyone?

John G Imrie
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Headmaster

Content should be free

Face to face time with a tutor, marking, and certification should be charged for.

Discuss.

Teacher Icon because ...

John G Imrie
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Trollface

Re: Typical

One post. Joined today. Must try harder.

John G Imrie
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tiny telly aerials!

Is this some new Reg unit of volume?

John G Imrie
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Joke

Re: "The end of free TV ?"

Those GOP supporters call Obammer 'Tigger'. A. A. Milne mus be spinning in his grave.

John G Imrie
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After Fox went off the air in 2013

There was a massive bounce back in the US economy, and how the US thought of itself, as people rediscovered the art of communication and left their homes blinking in the sunlight..

(c) Wikipedia 2020

John G Imrie
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Re: Waste of time and money

+1 for the Hitch Hiker reference, which the down voter obviously failed to get.

Now I'm of to find a really strong cup of tea

John G Imrie
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You don't understand how the EU works

Microsoft got hit by the Competition Commission, an EU wide body.

Google is being investigated under data protection laws, which are handled at national level.

John G Imrie
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Does this meen ...

If I covered a metal fork with this stuff it wouldn't spark in the microwave?

John G Imrie
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Re: There sure as hell is a need for press regulation

We need to have a balance between what is really "in the public interest" and prurient intrusion into people's lives, just because it sells a few more adverts. How do we achieve that?

Follow the money.

Write to all the advertisers in the paper telling them that you and all your friends will boycott them until they remove the adverts.

John G Imrie
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I think it's been outsourced

Netcraft says the following

Netblock owner IP address OS Web server Last changed

Rackspace Cloud IP Space 31.222.187.124 Windows Server 2008 Microsoft-IIS/7.5 8-Jul-2012

John G Imrie
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Don't careabout dresses

What I want to know is, if I take a photo of a cute but attached lady, will it find me a smiler looking but unattached one?

John G Imrie
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Re: helping those who want to work hard

You should have got into Investment Banking instead

John G Imrie
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Just one problem

Who owns the copyright on a photograph of a London Bus crossing Westminster Bridge in front of the houses of Parliament?

John G Imrie
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It cannot be invalidated by any subsequent licensing terms.

Interesting.

So if I buy some software from a store and no one mentions any licence agreement and there is nothing on the box mentioning such an agreement am I free to ignore the EULA that pops up on installation?

John G Imrie
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Re: shock

I think they have got wise to that . It looks much better if you win by 51% of the vote.

John G Imrie
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It got butchered with a remake.

The opening scenes on the origanal are brilliant.

John G Imrie
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Go

Real programmers ...

use buterfles

John G Imrie
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Re: Talking Sense

If the glasses come with distinctive little flashing lights that indicate that recording is in progress.

Like the lights on top of a Darlek that let you know which one is talking.

John G Imrie
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Re: All Methodists?

Methodist's are allowed to drink. That wasn't the reason I left them

John G Imrie
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Re: Robot Whores?

I think the Japanese have a head start on you there.

John G Imrie
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Re: Old Apps

IIRC Doom was a client server engine running on IPX when it first came out.

John G Imrie
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Re: True story

Given the fact's available to her it's an interesting question and one that could have lead to a career in Geology, instead of which it's been held up as a 'hey look at my dumb girlfriend' quote.

John G Imrie
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What Paxo shoud do

Is spend the next news night he does reading the un-redacted version.

John G Imrie
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Job Title

Brownian motion inducer?

Now what happened to that IID I left lying around here.

John G Imrie
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Re: OK by me

Jeremy Clarkson in the Volvo with the ...

Hell it's a Volvo you don't need anything else.

John G Imrie
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$5000 per download

I think the girl in question is going to need a bigger bed room, to store Deep Blue when it turns up as her replacement laptop.

John G Imrie
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Re: I've thought this for years.

Nothing wrong with Grimsby High Street, that an expanding Universe couldn't fix.

PS. I seam to have discovered a door behind which there appears to be an infinite number of Monkeys trying to sell me a script for a play called Hamlot they've just worked out.

John G Imrie
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Re: How many can tell the difference between...

steaming donkey ordure is good for the roses.

Gartner reports end up as land fill.

Does that help?

John G Imrie
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Joke

Re: "according to Gartner"

I put "according to Gartner" into Google Translate. It said "Who's paid us for this report"

John G Imrie
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Big Brother

Re: Oh, Intel!

He didn't say what the service will be called

It needs to be something big and friendly like your elder brother.

There must be a snappy name out there some where, I'm sure it will come to me.

John G Imrie
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Re: MSHTML has a published API

Already been done here http://wiki.winehq.org/MsHtml.

Admittedly not by Microsoft.

John G Imrie
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Joke

Re: Hex, anyone?

29A The flat of the beast ?

John G Imrie
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Re: Contempt!

If you do not admit your love for Windows 8 we will bring out ....

.

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.

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Microsoft Clippy.

[du Du DURRRRR!!!]

John G Imrie
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Has anybody thaught

about what happens to all those assets of bankrupt businesses when they include digital certificates.

I'd buy that for a dollar.

John G Imrie
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I can

Writing fake email replies to obnoxious MP's declining to be involved in their latst expenses scam.

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