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* Posts by John G Imrie

1077 posts • joined 17 Jun 2009

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BBC: We're going to slip CODING into kids' TV

John G Imrie
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If you arew going to teach coding

You are going to have to have at least a primer in logic first.

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Boffins attempt to prove the UNIVERSE IS JUST A HOLOGRAM

John G Imrie
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In the begining

Was the approach to the microphone, then the repeated binary count. This was followed by the Power Cord of creation.

Or that's what I heard, now could you pleas keep the noise down, I'm trying to listen.

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Huawei: 'Tizen has no chance', Windows Phone is 'difficult'... it's Android all the way

John G Imrie
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The company lost money on Windows Phone for the two years it spent trying to tout the Redmond OS, but found there was no consumer demand.

What after all those wonderful adverts I see saying how indispensable a Windows phone is to the small business man :-)

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Three new charges laid against alleged Silk Road kingpin

John G Imrie
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distribution of narcotics by means of the internet,

Does this mean you have to stick the ethernet cable up your nose to receive them.

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No, thank you. I will not code for the Caliphate

John G Imrie
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That was possibly...

the hardest thing to read I have ever come across on El Reg, and that include the articles on Quantum Mechanics.

Keep up the good work.

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John G Imrie
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No problem

As soon as the push Israel into the sea thy will be able to claim that domain.

Fuck I'm in a black mood today, what with IS running through the Middle East and Russia marching west; how long till WW3 kicks off.

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Vampires and Ninjas versus the Alien Jedi Robot Pirates: It's ON

John G Imrie
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What would happen if Chuck Norris took up Morris Dancing?

He'd be the last man standing after the stick and bucket dance.

PS Include the Black Morris of Lancre and the Elves are toast.

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True fact: 1 in 4 Brits are now TERRORISTS

John G Imrie
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Trollface

Now we are all perverts

Because that image in the article is a big nipple.

Now go wash your mind out. :-)

PS I would like it known that not all John's go around beheading people who's religious affiliations they disagree with.

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Chinese hackers spied on investigators of Flight MH370 - report

John G Imrie
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Re: "An IP address in china"

An awful lot of the worlds internet traffic goes through the US. I'd like to see the Received headers to check which countries could pick up the mail before sending it on to China.

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Munich considers dumping Linux for ... GULP ... Windows!

John G Imrie
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Re: The German city of Munich, which famously

Sorry top burst your bubble, but accepting a cash payment to make a case go away was enshrined in German, not Munich, law a long time before Bernie came along.

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Take the shame: Microsofties ADMIT to playing Internet Explorer name-change game

John G Imrie
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The search engion is Bing

The browser should be Bong.

¡Bing Bong!

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Boffins find hundreds of thousands of woefully insecure IoT devices

John G Imrie
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Headmaster

Surly...

200,001 as he asked for in the hundreds of thousands, not on the boarder of hundreds of thousands.

Icon chosen as it's the only pedant available.

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Dodgy payday loan ads make up 83% of cases probed by UK's FCA

John G Imrie
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Re: Usury

There is a law coming/come in that makes it illegal to recover more the 200% of the initial loan no matter the APR.

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John G Imrie
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Re: there is a legitimate use for these...

There are two assumptions you have made there.

1) You have a bank account.

2) Your bank will give you a credit/debit card.

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Totes AMAZEBALLS! Side boob, binge-watch and clickbait added to Oxford Dictionary

John G Imrie
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Re: It could be worse...

Comment ElReg uses unwords correctwise as follows

BB bellyfeel unwords plus prolefeed, verging crimethink. Goodthinkful persons doubbleplus rectify or unpersonwise.

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Blighty in SPAAAACE: Brit-built satellite films the Earth

John G Imrie
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Confused

Don't know weather to up-vote you for bigging up El Reg or down vote you for dissing the UK space boffins.

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John G Imrie
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Re: Space Sector

I get the feeling that this gets done despite of, rather than because of, our beloved leaders.

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Lawyer for alleged Silk Road kingpin wants all evidence thrown out

John G Imrie
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Re: I just don't care.

I'm arresting you for running a wholsale drug distribution business and for paying hitmen. These are serious offences so I'll see you at Guantanamo bay tomorrow morning. Please bring your own towel as water may well be involved in your interrogation.

Just how much latitude do you want to give me?

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Boffins spot weirder quantum capers as neutrons take the high road, spin takes the low

John G Imrie
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Ow!

My brain has climbed out of my ears and is refusing to re enter my head unless I promise to stop reading this kind of stuff.

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US judge: YES, cops or feds so can slurp an ENTIRE Gmail account

John G Imrie
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Folders

In his ruling, Gorenstein pointed out that very few criminals keep all their illegal activity information in a folder marked “drug records”.

Why do I have a sudden urge to create a folder called “drug records”, just to store my prescription details you understand ;-)

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Google's Pankhurst doodle doo-doo shows the perils of using Google to find stuff out

John G Imrie
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Joke

Who cares about her birthdate

Just save me from this Monstrous Regiment of Wiki Twiddlers.

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No need to worry: US blows $174m on new Cray to simulate nukes

John G Imrie
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Re: The machine's main job

"will be to conduct simulations of the US nuke stockpile, helping it to understand how its weapons are holding up as they age"

...helping it to understand when its weapons should be sold before they age.

helping it to understand when its weapons should be launched against its fleshy overloads without damaging it's fellow computers.

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'The writing is TOO SMALL': MPs row over Parliamentary move to Office 365

John G Imrie
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The NSA must be happy

as they only have to ask Micosoft for all the emails instead of paying some disgruntled UK IT bod.

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Google went behind our backs and really HURT US, squeal upset porn kingpins

John G Imrie
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Dirty Dozen

I went and looked at the porn harms web site and saw that they had a Dirty Dozen list. Grate I thought ,the top twelve porn sites in the world. No such luck top of the page it says.

We encourage you to join us in publicly recognizing these twelve as responsible parties in the spread of pornography and exploitation. Help us call on them to change their ways.

This list contains the following well know Pornographers:-

Barns & Noble

Verizon

PlayStation

Hilton Hotel Chain

Cosmo

50 Shades of Gray

I think someone should introduce these people to edonky :-)

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DATA-SWAP SHOCK: A YES to bill that lets big biz, govt share user info

John G Imrie
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Only three years.

The Cybersecurity Information Sharing Act of 2014 (CISA)

Cyber Intelligence Sharing and Protection Act

So it's only taken them three years to remove all the protection.

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Computing student jailed after failing to hand over crypto keys

John G Imrie
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Re: Self-Incrimination?

IANAL, clearly, but how does the RIPA law play in terms of your right to not incriminate yourself?

I don't think we have one. We used to have a right to silence that could not be used to assume guilt, but IIRC that was changed under Tony Blairs premiership

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John G Imrie
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What happened to the right to remain silent?

It was removed several years ago.

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Qualcomm fires DMCA shotgun at alleged code thieves on GitHub – including itself

John G Imrie
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Re: Actually the people listed are using the Vuforia SDK licence incorrectly,

I wonder if someone can get that paragraph thrown out under restriction of trade rules.

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Cybercrooks breed SELF-CLONING MUTANT that STEALS your BANK DETAILS

John G Imrie
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By opening the file

Well if MS hadn't decided to hide file extensions in the first place this would be much less of a problem.

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Lords try shoehorning law against REVENGE SMUT into justice bill

John G Imrie
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Punisment to fit the crime

Watch as the redit crowd get to denigrate a picture of the perpetrators private bits.

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Hey, Marissa Mayer: Flexi working time is now LAW in UK. Yahoo!

John G Imrie
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Re: So you can now legally ask for flexitime?

Actually that's yesterday.

Today it's

You: Can I have Flexitime?

[Wait three months]

Boss: No.

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Labour vows: We'll pause one-dole-to-rule-them-all for drastic fix-up if elected in 2015

John G Imrie
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RE bullets cost too much, we'd be better of bludgeoning them all to death.

Too expensive.

Get them to bludgeon themselves then televise it. That way we can raise some money for the TV rights.

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HP Enterprise Services staff feel the burn as managers turn off the cash taps

John G Imrie
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New headline

Profitable company starts futile round of cost cutting in order so satisfy investors irrational demand for perpetual growth.

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Android to drop Dalvik VM for high-performance ART in next version

John G Imrie
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Re: Kitkat 4.4.4

Kitkat 4.4.4: two thirds of the beast.

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Tor is '90 per cent of the net' claims City of London Police Commish – and he's dead wrong

John G Imrie
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Happy

Surely 90% of the "Darkweb" passes through Cheltenham?

And 100% of everything else

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I am NOT a PC repair man. I will NOT get your iPad working

John G Imrie
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Alistair Dabs is unwell

Though apparently he's felling better than Jeffrey Bernard.

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Queen's Speech: Computer Misuse Act to be amended, tougher sentences planned

John G Imrie
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Re: Point of order:

You have caused damage. Disregarding the reputational damage to the company and the damage to the directors bonuses there is the cost of getting the Indian outsources to recode the web site.

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WIN your FREE Nokia Lumia 630 smartphone HERE!

John G Imrie
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Joke

Re: Second prize ...

You stole my comment. Give it back or I'll make sure you come third

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Brits to vote: Which pressing scientific challenge should get £10m thrown at it?

John G Imrie
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Re: So which of Cameron's friends ...

I always think the worst of people, that way I'm often pleasantly surprised when they fail to live down to my expectations :-)

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John G Imrie
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So which of Cameron's friends ...

Has a company researching each of these problems?

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Welcome to Heathrow Terminal, er, Samsung Galaxy S5

John G Imrie
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Re: Beware of awkward associations

Rather that than the other way around.

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FCC headman Wheeler calls for an 'open internet' – but what the %$#@! does he mean?

John G Imrie
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The post office is a comon carrier

Doesn't stop it having multiple levels of delivery.

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Urinating teen polluted 57 Olympic-sized swimming pools - cops

John G Imrie
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Re: Some one else needs to be charged ...

Considering the concentration of Urea to Water in the typical pee, he may well have reduced the average amount of contamination in the water.

However I think Pratchett had it about right with nutes in water and where they piss.

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Greenwald alleges NSA tampers with routers to plant backdoors

John G Imrie
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Re: I'm just waiting to be told...

Oceania has always been at war with Euraisa Citizen. Please present yourself to room 101 immediately.

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'A proper British BOFFIN': Famous Martian prof Pillinger dies aged 70

John G Imrie
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Re: EJ Thribb

You should send that to the Eye

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Orange France hacked AGAIN, 1.3 million victims seeing red

John G Imrie
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Boring

This is getting as tedious as the oh look another windows bug brigade.

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Solaris deposed as US drone-ware, replaced by Linux administration

John G Imrie
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Re: But, but, but..

You need to watch https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9dfWzp7rYR4 from the BBC

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The amazing .uk domain: Less .co and loads more whalesong

John G Imrie
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The meening of the logo

The circle represents the uk's boarder. The gap is the bit where al the illegal immigrants get in and the dot is the illegal immigrant.

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OUCH... right in the Androids! Google hit by another antitrust sueball

John G Imrie
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@Tom7

It's not that the user can't change each of the components once the phone is in their hands that is causing the rumpus, it's that google is telling the the OEM's what the default has to be.

Note that I still think the entire case is BS

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UK.gov data sell-off row: HMRC denies claims it'll flog YOUR private info

John G Imrie
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No government in the UK has stood for election

The government is appointed, by the leader of the the party that can control a majority in the house of commons.

The members of the government don't have to come from the same party or even be MP's or Lords.

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