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* Posts by John G Imrie

1058 posts • joined 17 Jun 2009

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US judge: YES, cops or feds so can slurp an ENTIRE Gmail account

John G Imrie
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Folders

In his ruling, Gorenstein pointed out that very few criminals keep all their illegal activity information in a folder marked “drug records”.

Why do I have a sudden urge to create a folder called “drug records”, just to store my prescription details you understand ;-)

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Google's Pankhurst doodle doo-doo shows the perils of using Google to find stuff out

John G Imrie
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Joke

Who cares about her birthdate

Just save me from this Monstrous Regiment of Wiki Twiddlers.

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No need to worry: US blows $174m on new Cray to simulate nukes

John G Imrie
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Re: The machine's main job

"will be to conduct simulations of the US nuke stockpile, helping it to understand how its weapons are holding up as they age"

...helping it to understand when its weapons should be sold before they age.

helping it to understand when its weapons should be launched against its fleshy overloads without damaging it's fellow computers.

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'The writing is TOO SMALL': MPs row over Parliamentary move to Office 365

John G Imrie
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The NSA must be happy

as they only have to ask Micosoft for all the emails instead of paying some disgruntled UK IT bod.

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Google went behind our backs and really HURT US, squeal upset porn kingpins

John G Imrie
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Dirty Dozen

I went and looked at the porn harms web site and saw that they had a Dirty Dozen list. Grate I thought ,the top twelve porn sites in the world. No such luck top of the page it says.

We encourage you to join us in publicly recognizing these twelve as responsible parties in the spread of pornography and exploitation. Help us call on them to change their ways.

This list contains the following well know Pornographers:-

Barns & Noble

Verizon

PlayStation

Hilton Hotel Chain

Cosmo

50 Shades of Gray

I think someone should introduce these people to edonky :-)

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DATA-SWAP SHOCK: A YES to bill that lets big biz, govt share user info

John G Imrie
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Only three years.

The Cybersecurity Information Sharing Act of 2014 (CISA)

Cyber Intelligence Sharing and Protection Act

So it's only taken them three years to remove all the protection.

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Computing student jailed after failing to hand over crypto keys

John G Imrie
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Re: Self-Incrimination?

IANAL, clearly, but how does the RIPA law play in terms of your right to not incriminate yourself?

I don't think we have one. We used to have a right to silence that could not be used to assume guilt, but IIRC that was changed under Tony Blairs premiership

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John G Imrie
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What happened to the right to remain silent?

It was removed several years ago.

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Qualcomm fires DMCA shotgun at alleged code thieves on GitHub – including itself

John G Imrie
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Re: Actually the people listed are using the Vuforia SDK licence incorrectly,

I wonder if someone can get that paragraph thrown out under restriction of trade rules.

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Cybercrooks breed SELF-CLONING MUTANT that STEALS your BANK DETAILS

John G Imrie
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By opening the file

Well if MS hadn't decided to hide file extensions in the first place this would be much less of a problem.

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Lords try shoehorning law against REVENGE SMUT into justice bill

John G Imrie
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Punisment to fit the crime

Watch as the redit crowd get to denigrate a picture of the perpetrators private bits.

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Hey, Marissa Mayer: Flexi working time is now LAW in UK. Yahoo!

John G Imrie
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Re: So you can now legally ask for flexitime?

Actually that's yesterday.

Today it's

You: Can I have Flexitime?

[Wait three months]

Boss: No.

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Labour vows: We'll pause one-dole-to-rule-them-all for drastic fix-up if elected in 2015

John G Imrie
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RE bullets cost too much, we'd be better of bludgeoning them all to death.

Too expensive.

Get them to bludgeon themselves then televise it. That way we can raise some money for the TV rights.

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HP Enterprise Services staff feel the burn as managers turn off the cash taps

John G Imrie
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New headline

Profitable company starts futile round of cost cutting in order so satisfy investors irrational demand for perpetual growth.

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Android to drop Dalvik VM for high-performance ART in next version

John G Imrie
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Re: Kitkat 4.4.4

Kitkat 4.4.4: two thirds of the beast.

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Tor is '90 per cent of the net' claims City of London Police Commish – and he's dead wrong

John G Imrie
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Happy

Surely 90% of the "Darkweb" passes through Cheltenham?

And 100% of everything else

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I am NOT a PC repair man. I will NOT get your iPad working

John G Imrie
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Alistair Dabs is unwell

Though apparently he's felling better than Jeffrey Bernard.

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Queen's Speech: Computer Misuse Act to be amended, tougher sentences planned

John G Imrie
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Re: Point of order:

You have caused damage. Disregarding the reputational damage to the company and the damage to the directors bonuses there is the cost of getting the Indian outsources to recode the web site.

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WIN your FREE Nokia Lumia 630 smartphone HERE!

John G Imrie
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Joke

Re: Second prize ...

You stole my comment. Give it back or I'll make sure you come third

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Brits to vote: Which pressing scientific challenge should get £10m thrown at it?

John G Imrie
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Re: So which of Cameron's friends ...

I always think the worst of people, that way I'm often pleasantly surprised when they fail to live down to my expectations :-)

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John G Imrie
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So which of Cameron's friends ...

Has a company researching each of these problems?

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Welcome to Heathrow Terminal, er, Samsung Galaxy S5

John G Imrie
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Re: Beware of awkward associations

Rather that than the other way around.

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FCC headman Wheeler calls for an 'open internet' – but what the %$#@! does he mean?

John G Imrie
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The post office is a comon carrier

Doesn't stop it having multiple levels of delivery.

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Urinating teen polluted 57 Olympic-sized swimming pools - cops

John G Imrie
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Re: Some one else needs to be charged ...

Considering the concentration of Urea to Water in the typical pee, he may well have reduced the average amount of contamination in the water.

However I think Pratchett had it about right with nutes in water and where they piss.

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Greenwald alleges NSA tampers with routers to plant backdoors

John G Imrie
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Re: I'm just waiting to be told...

Oceania has always been at war with Euraisa Citizen. Please present yourself to room 101 immediately.

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'A proper British BOFFIN': Famous Martian prof Pillinger dies aged 70

John G Imrie
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Re: EJ Thribb

You should send that to the Eye

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Orange France hacked AGAIN, 1.3 million victims seeing red

John G Imrie
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Boring

This is getting as tedious as the oh look another windows bug brigade.

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Solaris deposed as US drone-ware, replaced by Linux administration

John G Imrie
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Re: But, but, but..

You need to watch https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9dfWzp7rYR4 from the BBC

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The amazing .uk domain: Less .co and loads more whalesong

John G Imrie
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The meening of the logo

The circle represents the uk's boarder. The gap is the bit where al the illegal immigrants get in and the dot is the illegal immigrant.

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OUCH... right in the Androids! Google hit by another antitrust sueball

John G Imrie
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@Tom7

It's not that the user can't change each of the components once the phone is in their hands that is causing the rumpus, it's that google is telling the the OEM's what the default has to be.

Note that I still think the entire case is BS

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UK.gov data sell-off row: HMRC denies claims it'll flog YOUR private info

John G Imrie
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No government in the UK has stood for election

The government is appointed, by the leader of the the party that can control a majority in the house of commons.

The members of the government don't have to come from the same party or even be MP's or Lords.

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94% of Brit tech bosses just can't get the staff these days, claims bank

John G Imrie
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Can't get the staff

That could be because they are asking for 5 years of experience in two year old tech.

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Apple patents Wi-Fi access point location lookup

John G Imrie
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@big_D

You have made the school boy error of thinking as an engineer rather than a marketroid.

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BOFH: Oh DO tell us what you think. *CLICK*

John G Imrie
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This is not good

The BOFH, PFY and Boss all seam to be working together. This can only lead to bloodshed.

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Did a date calculation bug just cost hard-up Co-op Bank £110m?

John G Imrie
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I hate writing

and testing jobs that run once a year. You can never get a decent testing platform for them.

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Come to Oz for sun, surf, ratting on co-workers and surveillance

John G Imrie
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Re: What's so special about "democracy"?

It means that when the current government looses power thy have a vested interest in not starting a civil war to re take it.

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John G Imrie
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Translation

the more intelligence I read, the more conservative I become. The more deeply I come to comprehend the capacity of terrorists to evade surveillance, the more I want to be assured that where our agencies are constrained, the threat to civil liberty is real and not merely theoretical

The more scary stuff the intelligence agencies feed me, the more I want to crawl under my desk and leave it all to them.

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Anatomy of OpenSSL's Heartbleed: Just four bytes trigger horror bug

John G Imrie
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Re: Does the leak cross services?

From what I know about this the answer is 'It depends'. But I suspect that if you can access OpenSSL for any service on a server you can assume that everything on that server is compromised.

I'm not sure if this can cross the boundary of virtual systems running on the same iron or not though.

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Microsoft: We've got HUNDREDS of patents on Android tech

John G Imrie
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that's strong evidence that the patents are robust.

Nope. it just means that the bean counters have decided that it's cheaper to pay than to fight.

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European Court of Justice rips up Data Retention Directive

John G Imrie
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Joke

Re: At Last !

Oh wine, SHUT UP!

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Google kills fake anti-virus app that hit No. 1 on Play charts

John G Imrie
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Trollface

@ jbernardo

I got my silver badge because of my stunning repartee, amazing wit, and blackmailing one of the Journos here on Ell Reg*. Not because of any perceived technical competence.

How are you planning on getting yours?

*One or more of the preceding statements may be at variance with established facts.

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John G Imrie
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Is this the same Android AV scanner...

That I've been getting adverts for on my phone. I avoided clicking on it because.

1) I have lookout installed.

2) The icon looked like lookout's icon.

3) I assume every advert that appears on my phone that doesn't name the company to be fraudulent.

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Technology is murdering customer service - legally

John G Imrie
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Re: Amazon aren't bad

Amazon seam to have come to the conclusion that

a) They will fuck up every now and then. Not surprising considering how they work their packers.

b) If someone has taken the time to call them, they can use this to sell the caller more goods.

c) The best way to sell the caller more goods is to resolve their problem as quickly and efficiently as possible.

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John G Imrie
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Re: Customer services here, how may I /seem/ to help you?

This will free me up to get back to developing an AI to relieve me of the chore of watching television.

I don't need an AI for that. I mistakenly turned on the TV while it was tuned into the X factor. Now all I need is to talk to someone at the local support group, I've been on hold for an hour now and I swear if I hear green sieves on more time I'll rip the phone line ou <NO CARRIER>

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Money? What money? Lawyer for accused Silk Road boss claims you can't launder Bitcoin

John G Imrie
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Re: Having both ways...

Yes lawyers have it both ways. It is perfectly reasonable for a lawyer to put forward the following defence.

He didn't do it.

If he did do it in this case it wasn't illegal.

If it was illegal then the circumstances around the act mean that he should get the minimum sentence.

Note that the last defence assumes guilt, but the prosecution can not use that to get past the first defence.

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ECCENTRIC, PINK DWARF dubbed 'Biden' by saucy astronomers

John G Imrie
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Re: re: Is this an average? as I thought the Earth's orbit was elliptical?

Just one problem. As the earth approaches the Sun it speeds up. it slows down as it moves away. So it should take less time to go around the half of the ellipse close to the Sun that the other half.

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Apple vows to add racially diverse EMOJIS after MILEY CYRUS TWITTER outrage

John G Imrie
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Re: Argh, nooo...

The Unicode Consortium explicitly states in the Unicode Specification that the colour of the character is not part of the standard. Anyway you can always use ☻

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WTF: Twitter bug temporarily kills THAT Oscar selfie

John G Imrie
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OMG

I'm literally going to write OMG in a comment about twitter on another web site's comment system.

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Bletchley boffins go to battle again: You said WHAT about Colossus?

John G Imrie
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Re: Willy waving

The problem with that is they would go for option 4

Stall until all the important artifices can be removed into privet hands then let the buildings and gardens rot.

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The Reg's guide to cursing in Mongolian

John G Imrie
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They actually banned the word Bad.

I think that's just to annoy the Michael Jackson fans.

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