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* Posts by Joefish

611 posts • joined 17 Jun 2009

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Bose says today is F*** With Dre Day: Beats sued in patent battle

Joefish
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Megaphone

Re: Noise cancelling

When flying I use some Sennheiser earbuds from HMV and some ear defenders from B&Q over the top. I'm willing to pitch my noise cancellation against BOSE's any day. Particularly when the money I save could pay for a couple of flights.

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Reg Latin scholars scrap over LOHAN's stirring motto

Joefish
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Pint

Re: Outstanding

"A Taberna Ad Astra" then.

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Boffins fill a dome with 480 cameras for 3D motion capture

Joefish
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Holmes

But can it still track you

if you cover your other hand as you enter your PIN?

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New Star Wars movie plot details leak, violate common sense and laws of physics

Joefish
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Re: Stormtrooper turned good guy?.

"Nobody's going to be able to suspend disbelief if he actually manages to shoot anyone."

Let alone fly a fighter down a duct into the super-weapon and score a direct hit on its reactor...

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GoTenna: How does this 'magic' work?

Joefish
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Coat

Re: a visit from one of your local spectrum police if you are really lucky

Presumably, if you're unlucky, the Mysterons get to you first?

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Ex-despot Noriega sues: How dare Call of Duty make me look like, like...

Joefish
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Paris Hilton

Can I sue them too?

If I wear a yellow boiler suit and hold with my arms out, I swear I'm the spitting image of the plane in River Raid.

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Japanese artist cuffed for disseminating 3D ladyparts files

Joefish
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Joke

Re: remake of the "Vagina Monologues".

That'd be the Director's Cu*t.

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Star Wars museum to land in Chicago

Joefish
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Gimp

"the exhibits are expected to explain story-telling rather than focussing on Star Wars alone"

Lucas? Story-telling? I'd just stick to Star Wars if I were you...

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Dutch firm passes the world's first e-spliff to the left hand side

Joefish
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Holmes

Re: A dark day for reggae

I'm a draper,

I'm a japer,

I'm a midnight vaper...

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Firefighters deliver trapped student from GIANT GERMAN LADYPARTS

Joefish
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Re: I'm sure he'll end up in court over this one.

Would that be a miscarriage of justice?

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Glastonbury debuts festival wide Wi-Fi network - fitted to COWS

Joefish
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Joke

Re: Im confused, ,

There there, calm down. Someone needs a pat on the head...

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LOHAN in FIGHT to DEATH with brace of cantankerous canards

Joefish
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Joke

Re: Attacked by ducks.

You'd have to put it down as an Anas horibilis.

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Joefish
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Re: Pivot point...

Surely what makes it easier to move away from centre would make it harder to return from an extreme, and vice-versa? I doubt it's quite so simple, being all about manoeuvrability vs stability - it's not a stealth fighter flight computer in there.

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Missiles-on-rooftops Brit spy Farr: UK gov can slurp your Facebook, Twitter ... What of it?

Joefish
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Meh

I'd be more concerned

About Facebook slurping Facebook data.

If I gave them any, that is.

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Han Solo headed for lengthy stay in bacta tank after Bay Door Control cockup

Joefish
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Facepalm

Re: Given all the splendid puns...

Hokey religions and ancient weapons are no match for a good plaster.

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Joefish
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Coat

Apparently John Williams is to blame for him falling over on set

As they couldn't get Han's Zimmer.

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Joefish
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Joke

In the final edit,

Greedo falls over first.

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Joefish
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Coat

Going to be the best film ever,

Hans down!

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Urine a goldmine for fuel-cell materials: boffins

Joefish
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Devil

Re: open cast mining laybys

No, Cameron will just license the energy companies to extract whatever they need from right underneath your frackables.

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Everyone can and should learn to code? RUBBISH, says Torvalds

Joefish
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Facepalm

Re: arehole

He is missing the point, but so are you. It's a 'straw-man' rebuttal. No-one is proposing that all kids are taught up to be programmers. Merely that it's put on a national syllabus so that kids are exposed to it, just as they're given a taste of history, geography, economics, foreign languages, music, particular sports, and a myriad other subjects they can then choose to go on to study in depth or (in most cases) never look at again their entire lives.

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Strategy Boutique ultimate 'tech'-gasm: 3D printer drone GoPro vid stream QR code

Joefish
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Paris Hilton

Re: Relativistic Bus

The bus has a driver?

Wow, you're like, totally retroid.

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Oh, wow. US Secret Service wants a Twitter sarcasm-spotter

Joefish
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Black Helicopters

Maybe they could just offer a compulsory choice selection when you sign up with an ISP?

Welcome to AOL! Please help us by answering the following questions:

1. Do you want child filters turned off to get all that lovely pr0n? [YES] [NO]

2. Are you going to be sarcastic on messaging services? [YES] [NO]

3. Got any fruit on you? [YES] [NO]

3a. btw, almost forgot, are you a terrorist? [YES] [NO]

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Joefish
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Coat

What's next?

Accepting bids for a gullibility meter?

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Queen's Speech: Computer Misuse Act to be amended, tougher sentences planned

Joefish
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Big Brother

Point of order:

"amend the Computer Misuse Act 1990 to ensure sentences for attacks on computer systems fully reflect the damage they cause"

So does this mean a trivial URL re-write that causes no damage whatsoever will no longer be prosecutable?

Like hell...

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Quantum teleportation gets reliable at Delft

Joefish
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Re: Einstein is fine - nothing to see here.

Seems to me that they only describe their measurement of state as 'deterministic'. They describe the actual state (in the abstract) as 'arbitrary'.

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Joefish
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Re: Einstein is fine - nothing to see here.

No, but it can reproduce all the ones this article is banging on about.

And until someone can either (a) find a use for the 'hidden variable' example or (b) find a way to influence the 'unknown' part of the quantum entanglement example, then there's no practical difference between the two.

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Joefish
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Holmes

Einstein is fine - nothing to see here.

The big farce of 'quantum teleportation' is the system is closed; even if you're taken in by the 'quantum' explanation, the only information that's transferred is an unknown, until you measure it at one end, then the other. In other words, you can't input information at one end and have it emerge at the other. Teleporting unknown information has yet to find a practical use, other than generating misleading press scientific releases over and over and over again. But 'scientists find more reliable method for doing the same old sh*t you read about last month' doesn't make the press.

The non-quantum explanation of entanglement is exceptionally mundane. You tip one shoe out of a box into a black bag, but don't look which one, then send the box to Australia. Now you look at yours at the same time as your antipodean friend opens the box, and you miraculously and instantaneously find that he's got the left shoe and you've got the right one. Big whoop. Make a press release that you can teleport the handedness of shoes; the press will then report you can teleport whole shoes.

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Developers: Microsoft has a cloud camp on 2 June just for you

Joefish
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Trollface

The Reg's attitude to 'The Cloud'...

...seems about as consistent as the Daily Mail's approach to cancer risks.

"Firm loses everything in Cloud provider backup failure".

"Cloud provider down for two days; hundreds of clients report record losses".

"Bullshit salesman says my cloud's better than your cloud".

"It's a pile of f***ing sh*t - avoid, for god's sake".

"All the smart money investing in promising new cloud startup".

"Attend this fantastic seminar on the amazing new trend that is cloud technology".

"Record losses as cloud provider turns out to be f***ed up bag of sh*te".

aaaaand repeat...

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TOADOCALYPSE NOW: Madagascar faces down amphibious assault

Joefish
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Pirate

Re: Nuke it from Orbit

"Let's croak us some toads!"

Where's Bucky O' Hare when he's needed?

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Joefish
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Facepalm

Call a traffic warden.

Have it toad away...

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What can The Simpsons teach us about stats algorithms? Glad you asked...

Joefish
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Big Brother

Re: Downhill all the way ??

I don't see any reason why there wouldn't be. If one set that showed a negative trend was generally higher than another set that showed a negative trend, when combined, the resultant graph could trend upwards. It's just people aren't usually that interested in negative correlations to try combining them. Unless there was devious intent afoot...

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Joefish
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Black Helicopters

Re: I disagree with the initial analysis of the first two graphs

Quite right, it assumes the existence of a cause; it doesn't prove it.

There's also an assumption that to take an 'average' of 2-dimensional scatter data you can simply average the X and Y components separately. For those who want to try it for themselves, it's a very interesting and educational exercise to 'prove' the formula for averaging from first principles, then expand the solution into the 2- and N- dimensional cases. It's only when you take the same approach to second and higher order statistical methods (standard deviation, etc.) that it starts to go a bit wibbly. But if you've genuinely got multi-dimensional data (i.e. vectors, not independent values) you really should be having a crack at it.

[Helicopter icon, because they churn out vectors like there's no tomorrow].

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Autodesk CEO: '3D printing has been way overhyped'

Joefish
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Unhappy

"And so, having made his dominance felt, perhaps for the last time,

the huge dinosaur returns to the safety of the swamp, the muddied waters helping support his massive bulk in the infirmities of old age. The younger challengers, and predators - they are scattered for now. But inevitably, they will recover their confidence, and return once more..."

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Fuel for jets DOES grow on trees

Joefish
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Joke

Re: Excellent news

So what you're saying is, we should divert more land use to breeding dinosaurs?

(Bet the joke icon doesn't work and someone gives us a lecture on prehistoric plant matter).

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JJ Abrams and Star Wars: I've got a bad feeling about this

Joefish
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Paris Hilton

Re: Star Wars generated plenty of imitators at the time, but few - if any - are remembered.

"You've never seen a Valkyrie go down!"

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Achtung! Use maths to smash the German tank problem – and your rival

Joefish
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WTF?

Re: Danger!

So what you're saying is, I was absolutely right, you are in breach of the law when uncovering data that you were not intended to access; that inadvertently making data available does not constitute publishing it, but because you don't happen to like the law as it stands, you're still going to downvote me and try and claim some sort of moral superiority?

Re: "the whole point of this was not about the vagaries of URL manipulation" - err - yes it is, because that's exactly and entirely what your original post, and my rebuttal, was based on. We do in fact agree that the law, as it stands, does not support what you call 'common sense', but then it's not 'common sense' just because you say it is.

The real matter here is that inferring information from published data is perfectly legal. Extracting data by unauthorised means is not.

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Joefish
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FAIL

Re: Danger!

I knew you wouldn't get it - in fact, I said as much.

When you break a law you don't understand you are still a criminal.

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Joefish
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FAIL

Re: Danger!

That's not the same thing at all. URL manipulation is a form of hacking. It may only work in the presence of apallingly lax security (like accessing a system with a default user name and password), but it's still an attempt to access data you're not supposed to have access to. And the main point of law here that the 'free data' crowd tend to gloss over is that 'exposing' is not the same as 'publishing'.

With this method, one can demonstrate to any enquiry that all the source data was openly available (assuming you haven't been skimming numbers off other people's orders).

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Peak thumb drive is coming in 2016

Joefish
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To my mind, what drives sales is the ever-increasing capacity of the things gives the consumer an incentive to keep upgrading. I remember a time when there was a whole tenner difference between 128MB and 256MB so I settled for the smaller device (which I still have, incidentally, as an emergency last resort). Last year I walked into a newly opened branch of Staples and they were dishing out 8GB drives, two per customer, at £2 each.

Since they don't actually do anything with the data themselves there comes a point for each user where they really don't need one any bigger, so will tail off buying any more. It may come at a different point for everyone, but sooner or later you'll get bored with trying to find more things to put on it.

Maybe the future is everything is so small they just merge with external backup SSDs, and the development effort turns to long-life retention guarantees. Perhaps someone could start researching a form-factor that looks neat on a shelf...

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Boffins 3D-print biomimetic shark skin

Joefish
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Re: Really?

I'm no professional biologist either, but I imagine there are only so many experiments you can do with a fresh, supple bit of genuine shark skin without causing problems for its occupant.

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Joefish
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Boffin

Surprised they didn't get better results actually

Mind you, their synthetic one - though technically an impressive achievement - may not be anywhere near as good as the real thing.

As for the bit about swimsuits - weren't certain types of full-body suits with fancy drag-reducing textured surfaces banned for Olympic competition? I don't imagine you'd get away with biomimetic shark skin either. Though for divers it would be great to be able to reduce exertion.

Interesting note - try stroking a shark front-to-back, and it's slick smooth. Try it back-to-front, and the denticles make it rougher than the most grippy sandpaper you've ever known (and I'm comparing it to the super-grippy stuff they paint on the top of Chinooks to help mechanics not slip off). Even sharks without obvious teeth tend to have an enlarged form of these denticles inside the mouth, which can mean if one is even big enough to latch onto a finger, you're not getting that finger back.

Now let's also not ignore the fact that directed surface friction is a useful commodity in itself. Though today's particular lesson is: don't rub a shark up the wrong way.

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Chap rebuilds BBC Micro in JavaScript

Joefish
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Re: Emulation? Pah!

Yes, but if the software is written such that it processes everything that can happen within that cycle across all the peripherals before it advances the emulated clock then what difference does it make whether or not the tasks are accomplished in parallel? All it means is that the processing may not occur in exact real-time, and may be subject to real-world speed-ups and slow-downs, but within the framework of the emulation everything still happens on all the right clock cycles.

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Joefish
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Headmaster

Re: Emulation? Pah!

If you read the article again a bit more carefully, you'll see that he is in fact performing cycle-accurate emulation in software. This is pretty much the bog-standard for 8-bit emulators and has been for decades; it's the only way to get the games that use hardware trickery (like timed sprite / colour / screen mode switches) to run properly. Its pretty impressive to pull it off in JS though.

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Philips lobs patent sueball at Nintendo in US: Seeks to BAN Wii U

Joefish
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"a user interface system based on pointing device"

Well bugger me, that sounds about as original as Candy Crush.

Besides the trivial nature of the patent, it applies to actions triggered by gestures recognised via the camera; not push buttons or accelerometer-based gestures which the Wii remote uses.

That such a claim could even pass an initial sift in a court submission just highlights how preposterously un-informed and corruptible the US patent and legal systems are.

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Boffins search for dark matter in abandoned Australian mine

Joefish
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Joke

Re: Carmeli's expansion model

Not surprising, the man has five branes!

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Joefish
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Boffin

Re: I'm probably wrong,

That's alright, they're probably wrong about the entire existence of 'Dark Matter' anyway.

In any other field an invisible, all-pervasive space-bending fudge factor like that would be laughed at. Or worshipped... Still, at least all that time at the bottom of a minshaft would get you a bit of peace and quiet to work on Modified Newtonian Mechanics theory.

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Microsoft throws Kinect under a bus, slashes Xbox One to $399

Joefish
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Boffin

Re: Meh.

In which case, if one has a 50% lead over the other, then the converse statement is that one is 33% behind, not 50% behind.

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Joefish
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Facepalm

Re: Ah-

Also known as the 'XBox 180'.

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How to catch a fraudster – using 'top cop' Benford and the power of maths

Joefish
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Thumb Up

Amazed!

More of this sort of thing!

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BEAK DRONE: 1080p HD Wi-Fi quad-copter by Parrot takes to skies

Joefish
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Re: More importantly...

Yes, just like radio-controlled cars, planes and helicopters were all banned in case someone tried to use one to injure someone else. You know who'll be buying these though? Paedos, that's who. Better report anyone you see with one down the park just in case...

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