* Posts by james 68

218 posts • joined 9 Jul 2009

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Apple Watch RIPPED APART, its GUTS EXPOSED to hungry Vultures

james 68

Gives you that warm fuzzy feeling that only being a member of a (semi)religious cult can provide.

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james 68

Nope, the guy that wrote the novel is entirely serious and has a range of books covering various tech fetishes. Conquered by Clippy and Taken by Tetris are the other 2 in this particular series. No irony, just a sad little man writing the tech equivalent of furry porn.

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james 68

So who's taking bets on how long it will be before some fame seeking hipster straps one of these to something other than a wrist and appears in a sex tape which also displays the "pulse" for added effect?

Because we all know it WILL happen. Proof in case is that there is already a porn novel (I shit you not).

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Invaded-iWatch-Erotic-Digital-Desires-ebook/dp/B00V2WXYO4

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Chinese 'Superphone' manufacturer declares war on Apple

james 68

Re: Like the Nazis? You'll *love* their allies!... oh no, hang on, you won't.

If you are referring to quinine (which is an extract of a tree bark) then that was discovered centuries ago by native Bolivians and Peruvians and brought back to Europe by Spanish Jesuits in the 17th century and was been used in "Western medicine" for 300 years before Mao was even born.

Methinks you'll find that the story you related is just another of many examples of communist dictators claiming credit for something they had nothing to do with, much like everything claimed by Kim il Sung, Mao etc.

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james 68
Facepalm

"4K videos at 30ft..."

I think you mean fps.

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NSA: 'Back doors are a bad idea, give us a FRONT door key'

james 68

It's ok though, because the government clearly stated that no business has been lost due to this whole fiasco, and they are plainly more trustworthy than the businesses themselves.....aren't they?

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Virgin Media goes TITSUP, RUINS Tuesday evening

james 68

"UK internet service provider Virgin Media suffered a Total Inability To Support Usual Performance (TITSUP) event on Tuesday evening..."

Both work and home are on Virgin fiber lines and they had no problems at all yesterday, bit slower than usual maybe but they certainly didn't drop out. I guess Northern Ireland was lucky.

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Short circuit at Large Hadron Collider slows return to matter-mauling

james 68

Polytetrafluoroethylene to name but one.

Not even expensive (Teflon).

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james 68

"...a small piece of metal has found its way into this tube and is making contact between the tube (earth) and one of the cables that leads to the diode.”

You would think that something so expensive would have included insulation on the cables.

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'Why don't you buy from foreign sites?' asks Commish, snapping on the gloves

james 68

Re: I think I can see where this is going...

He is entitled to his opinion just as I am entitled to mine, since we do not (yet) live in a stazi state I stand by my opinion and could not give a damn what anyone else thinks of it.

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james 68

Re: I think I can see where this is going...

I recon your right, I also recon the silly hag has shares in an interpretation/translation company that she will happily recommend to sort out this imaginary mess.

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james 68

Is she daft?

The answer is quite simple - 13% of people buy from foreign sites because 13% of people can comfortably understand foreign languages.

I for example can handily communicate in French or German but buggered if I could understand Greek or Polish, hence I would not buy from those countries due to the fact that while I might want to order say a graphics card, but in all likelyhood would place an order for a pallet of jaffa cakes by mistake.

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Chipzilla spawns 60-core, six-teraflop Xeon Phi MONSTER CHIP

james 68

Re: Power?

Its like you read my mind :)

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Fanbois: We paid $2000 for full satisfaction but now we have SPREADING STAINS

james 68

"So I guess what I am saying in a long winded way is that no company can predict what kind of stuff people will use to clean their screens and a bunch of people will be in total denial that it could be their own fault for treating their stuff like carp."

Totally agreed, they should obviously be treating it like the old trout that it is because carp just cant take a good scrubbing.

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james 68

Re: Wipeout!

Cult is exactly right.

Pay large sums of cash for each level, get an electronic suppository to keep away the spiritual cruft, watched over by a supreme alien being who happens to be dead. Its scientology for hipsters, I move to call it appology, and again much like scientology when anyone speaks out against their "religion" the appologists mount campaigns of disinformation and FUD.

ALL HAIL ZENU!! err...JOBS!!

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Analyst dons Tim Cook mask, thinks: Glass went well for Google. Let's do that, too

james 68

Re: Patents

optional rose tint?

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james 68

Await the hypocrisy.

And if they do then I guarantee that all those news sites (TheRegister most definitely included) that berated Google glass and called the users glassholes will be jerking themselves into a sticky frenzy describing how wonderful and innovative and world changing it is, because it'll have a little apple logo, even though it'll look like "Lady" Gaga boned a facehugger,

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Atomic keyrings: Just how bright are they?

james 68

Re: How bright are they?

I cannot speak for the brightness of the 'new' versions, however the old ones were I believe made by Traser? and they were quite bright. Enough so that I could pick out my luggage at a distance on airport conveyors in the seemingly standard dim lighting.

(I used it to mark luggage on many occasions and was never once questioned about it, so I dunno why there are shipping restrictions.)

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james 68

Re: I bought a couple of the originals...

The "ice blue" one I got from the reg many moons ago was bright enough, in fact noticeably so even under dim conditions as opposed to full on dark. I would suggest that perhaps yours had been mishandled in the post and the glass tritium container had cracked.

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I'll build a Hyperloop railgun tube-way in Texas, Elon Musk vows

james 68

Re: Now, for solar powered everything

Indeed, and the solar panels can charge batteries used to light the adverts at night.

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Nothing says 'Taliban' quite like net neutrality, eh, EU Digi Commish?

james 68

Re: Ass-hat

The car safety thing was originally spewed out by the boss of Nokia at the mobile world congress in Barcelona several days ago. As daft as US politicians are (often surpassing the European ones) it cannot be blamed on them, though I do not doubt that they will start using it as an excuse soon enough.

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james 68

Ponce

"Here we’ve got, particularly in Germany, Taliban-like developments. We have the Internet community, the Pirates on the move, it’s all about enforcing perfect uniformity,”

So according to him the internet community and pirates are one in the same? what an arsehole.

As a fan of broad reaching comparisons I am sure he will not mind if I state: Here we have the politicians, cock gobbling child abusing con artists talking shite again, it's all about making money from their corporate cronies.

Because it is obvious that since some politicos have been caught doing those things, that all politicians are therefor tarred with the same brush.

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Cash'n'Carrion restocks atomic keyrings

james 68

I bought one must be 11 or 12 years ago, when they had metal caps on the ends and weren't covered in that silly writing up the sides.

Worked brilliantly till last Friday when it just stopped glowing altogether, I recon the little glass tritum container inside cracked, however it had received serious abuse over its lifetime so it can be forgiven.

It went through 3 motorcycle crashes and was thrown about numerous times when attached to luggage on foreign flights, as well as all the normal day to day abuse over those years.

Rugged pieces of kit.

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Paul Allen hunts down sunken Japanese WWII super-battleship

james 68

Re: Now that's what I call a hobby!

Only if you call me Al whilst singing the NUMA NUMA song.

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james 68

Re: What is this "closure" that we here about nowadays

While they do in fact fully understand that their loved one is dead and gone it is comforting to loved ones to know the location so that they can pay their respects close to the remains, even simply knowing the location is often enough.

Honestly this is something I hope you never have to understand, because to understand it you would have to experience it.

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Huawei preps to drop mobile & wearables lovebombs on U.S.

james 68

Re: Chinese Concerns

Just as an example, where are the all American apple products made?

Hint: China

Yes even the few that say "made in America", those only have their final assembly in American plants so they can slap a sticker on it and funnily enough they also phoned home with personal information, as a direct result of decisions made by an American company.

You will be hard pressed to find any American branded technology products that aren't made in China, and any large company in China will have the exact same ties to the government as Huawei, it's the cost of business in China. But for some reason when an American brand name is stuck on the items they are deemed safe.

The bluff and bluster against Huawei is simply an excuse to block out the lowest bidder in infrastructure installations so that American corporations can eat all the cheese.

Technobigotry in it's lowest form.

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'Fry-OS 8' iPhone BLEW UP MY PANTS wails roasted Johnson

james 68

Re: Two words

What trendy fashion whores will go through for the latest 'hot' new thing.

I'll get my coat now.

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Nokia boss smashes net neutrality activists

james 68

Re: Why the hell...

That's easy to answer.

Its all about the ad placement. With the advent of heads-up displays and the corporate urge to make everything an always connected ad spewing dystopia it is only a matter of time before an ad pops up on your windscreen every 5 miles asking you to subscribe to whatever or pay x amount to remove it for the next 5 miles. This will be billed as a safety feature (seriously) because a) if you don't pay you will crash because you cannot see the road, and b) if you don't pay then it will automatically inform the police that you are driving whilst viewing content on an internet connected device.

Jocular though that scenario is I worry that it is disturbingly close to reality. It started with games and is now creeping steadily into everything else too.

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james 68

The answer is simple - providers should be forced to stop selling bandwidth that they don't actually have.

If say a hospital signs up to a deal for 1 gig broadband, then that's what they should get, instead the telco will give them a congested line with ridiculous contention rates that shares 1 gig bandwidth across 50/100 customers, sure it is "capable" of 1 gig but it will NEVER see that in real life. Instead of admitting that they are oversubscribing their lines they will wail that it's all net neutralitys fault, the FCC is forcing them to slow the packets.

It's all bullshit excuses.

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Phabba-dabba-do: Samsung hypes up Galaxy S6 and S6 Edge

james 68

Re: Built in battery, no SD slot, no waterproofing?

Those of us who travel a lot tend to fill up that kind of space in no time at all. Think books and movies to keep entertained on long flights, also photos and videos from the destinations, it adds up very quickly and SD cards are the only real solution.

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Net neutrality secrecy: No one knows what the FCC approved (BUT Google has a good idea)

james 68

Hmm

Maybe with a nudge and a wink those nefarious superhacking "North Koreans" could be convinced to show us a copy.

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El Reg's plucky Playmonaut eyes suborbital rocket shot

james 68

Re: Lucifer

lucifer (originally heylel - light bringer, shining one or morning star and a name for the planet venus) is a catch-all term for those who were considered to be particularly close to god, and in fact jesus was specificaly referred to as lucifer at one point in the bible.

satan is called lucifer in modern times because he was originally supposed to be gods right hand man prior to his fall, a story not actually contained within the modern christian bible. satan is never actually referred to as lucifer in the bible and the text which christians point to to say that he was is in reality a sick burn on the old king of babylon.

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$10,000 Ethernet cable promises BONKERS MP3 audio experience

james 68

Re: I think some of us are taking this way to seriously....

Right, it's not because they're bloody annoying with their false superiority, and grown men dressed like teenage girls with painted on jeans, makeup and costume jewelery? How in the name of all that is holy is that "cool"?

Face it, when 99% of the normal population think that hipsters are twats then there might just be a good reason for it.

Shave the dubiously ironic beard my friend, it's leeching electrons from your brain.

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james 68

Re: I think some of us are taking this way to seriously....

The only reason people will buy this cable:

"I bought this suuuuper expensive cable to stream my audio with when a normal ethernet cable would have done the exact same job for pennies.... isn't that ironic? I am soooo ironic, like the king of irony."

That seems like hipster twattishness to me.

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Symantec to cough up $17m after bloody dust-up with patent troll

james 68

Nah, Pinocchio at least wanted to be human.

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Forget Norks, Russian hackers are in Sony Pictures' servers – claim

james 68

Elephant in the room.

So the feds say that NK did the hacking to try and stop the release of that movie about their glorious leader (I can't remember it's name and I frankly do not care).

That being the case, why then did they distribute the very movie they were trying to stop all over torrent sites for people see it anyway? Which would presumably lead to their unpleasant executions?

A curious thing for them to do....... or rather it would be a curious thing for them to do if they were actually NKs. Or are the feds perhaps tweaking evidence again à la Iraq war documents?

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Valve set for OpenGL BIG REVEAL at upcoming conference

james 68

Re: Obligatory comment...

You may be poking a little bit of fun at Valve but do not be surprised if they do demo halflife3, in the past they have traditionally used each itineration of halflife to showcase their new shiny toys.

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Silicene takes on graphene as next transistor wonder-stuff

james 68

You will be waiting for several years then, as they still have not perfected any means to create graphene in large quantities. At the moment they are only able to create suitable workable amounts for lab tests, industrial scale production is a long way off.

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SCIENTIFIC CONSENSUS that 2014 was record HOTTEST year? NO

james 68

You want some real nonsense?

"that is action which will make people poorer, then. In other words the warmists want to take away your money and your standard of living (for your own good, they would say). And standard of living is not just consumer goods, it's health care, it's regular showers and clean clothes, it's space programmes and education for your kids and many many other things that you will have less of in the green future advocated by warmists."

Sooo, NASA is trying to do away with the evil space exploration and education - their very reason for being. That is patently ridiculous.

Oh and calling the people you disagree with derogatory names ("warmists" in this case) makes you look like a 5 year old who is jealous because someone else got a bigger lolly.

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Fujitsu: Slide your fingertip through our ring piece and show mice the finger

james 68

Second raters

Knew I had seen this before - and in a much better looking form.

Right here.

Time to sit back and wait for the lawsuits to start flying, did anyone bring popcorn?

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Dark matter-hunting boffins spot EXCITING signal in X-ray spectrum

james 68

Re: 95% of the Universe is composed of math particles and hyper dense equations

I have some nice rolls of tinfoil I can sell you cheap.

Perhaps you aren't interested now, but I could write a puff piece and stick it on a tacky website explaining the the wonders of shiny headgear since that seems to be enough to convince you to buy it.

Seriously... Mysterious Dr X?

let me guess, he lives in a mansion and trains mutants to save the world from the evils of science.

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Senator: Backdoor for the Feds is a backdoor for hackers

james 68

Mind....Blown....

Common sense - from a politician no less, I never thought I would live to see this day.

Especially from an US politician, the majority of which seem to have watched "America: World Police" and thought it was a documentary on best political practice.

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DNA survives fiery heat of re-entry on test rocket

james 68

Tardigrades

We know due to various experiments that a complex lifeform like tardigrades can survive prolonged exposure to space and all that that entails like vacuum, cosmic rays, solar radiation, extreme heat and cold (and my personal opinion is that they could probably survive re-entry also - they are hardy little buggers). I am more than a little surprised that nobody has tested them for re-entry survivability.

Some interesting light reading - http://tvblogs.nationalgeographic.com/2014/03/19/5-reasons-why-the-tardigrade-is-natures-toughest-animal/

Also a little surprised that the LOHAN boffinry hasn't teamed up with a university or school to test near-space experiments in a similar vein.

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Countdown contestant pays homage to IT Crowd's Moss

james 68

@ skelband

Don't feel too bad about it mate, I am in the UK and half the bloody videos on this site tell me "Not available in your country."

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New GCHQ spymaster: US tech giants are 'command and control networks for TERROR'

james 68

Re: Think of the spies

"Since he's supposedly in an evidence based business, he should provide some evidence for such a completely barking claim."

You mean like the dossier provided to show a legitimate reason for the invasion of Iraq? pffft lol

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It's even GRIMMER up North after MEGA SKY BROADBAND OUTAGE

james 68

Manchester and Liverpool?

Well I guess it makes a nice change for the engineers in the area, normally they would be dealing with having all their copper cabling nicked.

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Countless Belkin routers go TITSUP in massive mystery meltdown

james 68

Sounds to me like they updated the firewall on their heartbeat machine which then viewed all those multiple pings from all over the world as some kind of DDoS attack and blocked them.

So stupid that it explains why they wont admit to it and it explains all the known facts so far.

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NASA rover Curiosity drills HOLE in MARS 'GOLF COURSE'

james 68

Re: nice surface

right... so my examples, like the x37-b which stays in orbit with zero atmospheric pressure and extremes of heat and cold for many months at a time and yet still manages to use rubber compound tyres which somehow don't shatter, abrade or disintegrate (which was your assumption) even when used for the rigorous task of landing after such prolonged exposure to those conditions are what? the product of a fanciful mind?

My statement in regards to your assumption was based on fact, and backed by examples. Kind of the opposite to your "counter".

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james 68

Re: nice surface

@142 it happens to EVERY Mars rover, it's not like it is a new problem. Extensive testing of "best case scenario" is useless. As for weight, it would probably be a lot less than a kilo to add protective patches to the contact points.

@Grikath You are assuming inflatable tyres, also you are assuming rubber. These companies make tyres for the aircraft industry, there's your cold and lack of atmospheric pressure right there, even super high flying spy aircraft need to land as does the x-37b and while they were in service the space shuttles - they have experience in these areas. The major tyre manufacturers not only make rubber compounds that test for extreme environments but they also test various different materials even moreso nowadays when oil is at a premium (distilations of which are used to process rubber and also fractions of which are used to polymerize said rubber) and the search is on to move away from vulcanised rubber, they would be exactly the boys to see about a viable compound to use as a protective layer on those skimpy aluminium wheels.

Hell, even put cork patches on the contact areas and they'd last longer and the weight gain would only be in ounces.

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