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* Posts by Muckminded

222 posts • joined 17 Jun 2009

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NASDAQ IT security spend: $1bn. Finding mystery malware on its servers: Priceless

Muckminded

May as well save the $1 billion

for the inevitable lawsuits, if it's not going to be spent on actual security.

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Clingy fondleslab owners TORPEDO industry forecasts

Muckminded

Exactly

When the predictions people are stumped by simple human behavior, then they are getting paid for nothing, just latching onto trends after the fact. Fortunately, I predict that most of them will retire within the next 40 years.

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Snowden never blew a whistle, US spy boss claims

Muckminded

Dang, lemme look on the OTHER hard drive

OK, yeah, here are those emails.

Cheap NSA shot out of the way, why didn't Snowden preserve copies of the email threads for himself (not that they couldn't have been fabricated), so that he could produce them at times like this?

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Boffin benchmark battle after D-Wave quantum kit crawls in test

Muckminded

So, the cat is alive

it just doesn't run any faster than any of the cats outside the box.

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'BILLION-YEAR DISK' to help FUTURE LIFEFORMS study us

Muckminded

Which Justin Bieber video were they wanting

to view in 2,117,004 AD? We have quite a few, and none of them are informative.

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GAH: Now it's INSTAGRAM and Windows Phone 8

Muckminded

Fewer choices = worse

Pretending that having fewer apps available is an OK thing reminds me of using a Mac in the 1990's, when nearly everything appeared on Windows first, and on Macs a few years later, or never. It was not enjoyable.

If WP market share remains in the single digits, the bulk of the apps, whether treasures or turds, will never get ported. For business users, the good news is MS will undoubtedly make the WP Office apps more polished than the versions for the other two platforms. Plus, there will likely be some form of emulator (maybe there is already), like BlueStacks for WP that will allow Android apps to run directly (as BlackBerry now does). Also, MS isn't going to just walk away from WP. Maybe. Then again, with all the weeping and wailing, maybe their fragile emotional states aren't to be trusted.

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Apple pulls VPN app, helps censors' job in China

Muckminded

Can't saw off

the legs of the stool you're standing on. Without Chinese manufacturing, Apple would have to shop around to, like, the Philippines, or worse, Texas.

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Java updates too much of a bother? Maybe online banking's just not for you

Muckminded

Headline v2.0

Maybe online banking with banks that require Java is just not for you

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Microsoft to unveil new Surface slabs at September 23 event

Muckminded

Most train wrecks

aren't by invitation only, so kudos to them.

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'First' 3D-printed rifle's barrel splits after single shot

Muckminded

Re: One up the spout!

"Even many native speakers of English do not understand the correct use of..."

Living in the US, that sentence could have ended with any number of other items the nativists don't understand.

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Lasers to carry 622 Mbps Earth-Moon link

Muckminded

Somehow

The NSA will manage to weasel into this.

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T-Rex tooth find shows dino may have been a pussy

Muckminded

Tooth Fairy Law

dictates that the reward must be given to the current owner, and may only be conferred to another upon the current owner's consent. Therefore, the unnamed hadrosaur must be awarded the gold dubloon beneath its 65-million year old pillow, as well as a reasonable scattering of pixy dust, at the discretion of the court-appointed hob, yet to be determined.

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Human error blamed for toxic Russian rocket explosion

Muckminded

Re: Typical Management.

Maybe if management were part of the payload, the work would improve.

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Look, can we just forget about Snowden for sec... US-China cyber talks held

Muckminded

Strange Math

Huge electronic vacuum cleaner for the internet: $4 billion a year (funded with help by the Chinese)

Undermining trust in your own nation's companies: Priceless

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Jiggy Pennsylvania couple busted by 25 bike cops

Muckminded

When only one cop shows up it's chance. Multiply it by 25 and it means the universe itself is trying to prevent a rip in the continuum.

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Ex-Microsoft man plans brand of consumer marijuana 'fine cigars'

Muckminded

Jackie Paper says hi

Loves the reference.

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Kettle 'which looks like HITLER' brews up sturm in a teacup

Muckminded

Re: People are stupid as a hole.

10 minutes until all the plastic bits melt onto the burner. There will be no thousand-year tea brewed with this shoddy imposter.

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Wonder substance pulses QUADRILLION lasers per second

Muckminded

For this, I'm going to like carbon on Facebook

And hope it gets a few more followers on Twitter.

Now that's social.

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Better Place electric car outfit goes titsup

Muckminded

SAP + inspired =

Satire, built right in.

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US Senator introduces 'Patent Abuse Reduction Act'

Muckminded

Re: A step in the right direction

Real substantial reform is always more difficult than nibbling at the edges.

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Adobe's Creative Cloud fails at being a cloud

Muckminded

Forecast: Creative Cloudiness

Somewhere in the sprawl of XML and excrement, a purpose wanders helpless as a little bitty sheep.

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Oracle updates Java versioning to allow more security fixes

Muckminded

No wonder their browser plug-in is like an open sewer grate

if something as simple as version numbers so easily overheats their gigantic brains.

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Government admits seizing two months of AP phone records

Muckminded

Welcome the dread spawn of the Patriot Act

I feel them reading as I type (yes, I'm either that self-important, or that aware that all wires lead to an NSA server somewhere). It's akin to having a little cockroach-like buddy on my shoulder who claims he is making things cleaner, instead of more disgusting. So, yeah, the AP thing is completely similar, except not at all. Anyway, got some typing in.

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Adobe kills Creative Suite – all future features online only

Muckminded

Makes me SaaD

As in Software as a Disservice.

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Oracle trowels more plaster over flawed Java browser plugin

Muckminded

Too bad hackers don't know to stick to Oracle's patch schedule. That's just rude.

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Strategic SIEGE ROBOTS defeated by 'heavily intoxicated' man, 62

Muckminded

Machines as dull

as their operators will never match the chaotic paranoia that a fine bender produces.

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US insurer punts 'bestiality' to wide-eyed kiddies, gasp 'mums'

Muckminded

I want a turn at that

when she is done.

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Sony lifts skirt on Firefox OS with developer ROM for Xperia E

Muckminded

Re: It's experimental, fergossakes...

Market potential: -1

Not only will it go nowhere, it distracts Firefox from useful endeavors.

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Oracle wants another go at Google over Android Java copyrights

Muckminded

Get back to not fixing security holes

in your precious copyrighted code.

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Microsoft RTMs final Windows 8 and Server 2012 code

Muckminded

Re: So, what next after windows 9 ?

Windows, nein.

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IT departments are BRATTY TEENAGERS

Muckminded

Alas, there will be no bias here

as we are all on the same page.

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iPhone 5 poised to trounce Android, devastate BlackBerry?

Muckminded

Re: If this is bad news for RIM then what about MicroNokia?

Microsoft will subsidise and paint happy rainbows on the losses until they get 15% penetration, then claim victory. Oh, hey Bing, what up?

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Christians get God-optimized 'Edifi' Android fondleslab

Muckminded

Will Jesus let me view porn on it?

I don't want to buy one just to be struck by holy fire on first use.

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Apple's new iPad set for July 20 China launch

Muckminded

Long road

to sell products in the country in which they're made.

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Libya's new rulers fire up Gaddafi's surveillance tech

Muckminded

They were digging up Frost:

Yes, revolutions are the only salves,

But they're the one thing that should be done by halves.

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Texas Higgs hunters mourn the particle that got away

Muckminded

Re: Says it all about American attitudes...

The weeping over Pluto sprang more from children thinking a Disney character had been killed off.

Semi-seriously though, this enters the realm where politicians are too dim to contemplate any tangible benefits. Same as now, except now it is several orders of stagnitude worse. Can't touch that sweet cash for national offense defense, though. That shit is sacrosanct.

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Windows 8 Release Preview open for download

Muckminded

Soon, a shitty Xmas will come preloaded

Presumably for people on the "naughty" instead of "nice" shopping list.

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Creatives spin copyright licence that sticks to web

Muckminded

Pissing at the wind

you can't even write your name.

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Pirate Bay struggling to get on feet after DDoS to the knee

Muckminded

I, too, like to post

and am bored, drunk, disabused, overly tolerant and ambiguously intolerant as the mood hits.

But I'm gnawing on bones here. Not even enough to make soup out of. The Pirate Bay is name-only now. A ghostly sphincter of the former digestive system it was.

Um, yay for the web!?

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Nokia dinged with shareholder lawsuit over poor Lumia sales

Muckminded

Hitting the Bing bong

MS have proven they have plenty of money from successful divisions to fund failing ones for a long time. For all I know or care, they have a winner on their hands. Problem is, no one knows or cares. Like Bing, Zune, Bob, and a (tiny) Vista of dead Kin have proven, marketing and tepid follow-through don't always produce tremendous results.

As for suing a company you own stock in, that's genius.

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Princeton solar researchers take leaf from plants’ book

Muckminded

Braindrops

Would a dewdrop shape that could collect light entering at most angles and reflect it towards a central capturing mechanism work the same way? I'm interested enough to throw it out there, but too lazy to think it through. Typical.

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Glider pilot 'swallowed camera memory' say plunge tragedy cops

Muckminded
Joke

Re: As a paraglider pilot...

And, do you need strong arms?

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China considers energy cap

Muckminded

Keeping the nutted-out organs of power in-house

The emphasis is likely on "reliance on foreign energy sources", not tree hugging.

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Moore's Law has ten years to run, predicts physicist

Muckminded

OMG, RLY?

Those guys are so yesterdollar. AMIRITE?

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Muckminded

Moore's Misnomer

It actually refers to integrated circuits, not silicon, and it isn't a law, but who cares. As mentioned above, there will inevitably be discoveries that ever push the horizon a few years forward, until the day we realize we've had enough math.

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UK Ministry of Defence eyes GPS patent payoff

This post has been deleted by a moderator

Muckminded

Potentially

Pratt Ploughshare patent positions itself to make plenty of people perturbed.

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Jury mulls verdict in Oracle-v-Google Java spat

Muckminded

Re: so if APIs are copyrightable...

Time to mine coal or chop trees or serve coal miners chopped trees (as toilet paper). Or lube up for the fight.

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Muckminded

Broad like the Mississippi

"The public may use any copyrighted work in a reasonable way under the circumstances without the consent of the copyright owner if it would be in the public interest"

And with enough money, you could even build a raft out of lawyers to float on.

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Google to FCC: Protecting Street View coder didn't derail probe

Muckminded

So, they are able keep SOME data private

Guess you have to work for them to get under the umbrella.

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