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* Posts by The Vociferous Time Waster

344 posts • joined 16 Jun 2009

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I need a password to BRAKE? What? No! STOP! Aaaargh!

The Vociferous Time Waster

Voice control

you walk out of a carpet seller after telling them to shove their stupid rugs up their asses. "For mat, see colon"

Nothing works anymore

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Two driverless cars stuffed with passengers are ABOUT TO CRASH - who should take the hit?

The Vociferous Time Waster

This is why nerds don't do ethics

the responses here are just too literal and rational

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LIFE, JIM? Comet probot lander found 'ORGANICS' on far-off iceball

The Vociferous Time Waster

Re: Secret mode?

I heard they used the control stick and used up up down down left right left right B A

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ATTACK OF THE DRONES: ‘Nefarious’ private use rising, says top Blighty copper

The Vociferous Time Waster
Black Helicopters

Easy

if a 10mm ball from my slingshot doesn't do the job I suspect 28g of birdshot will make the props a lot less effective

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'Open source just means big companies can steal your code.' O RLY?

The Vociferous Time Waster

Jeremy Clarkson

robot wars was just another example of something that was made better by the absence of Jeremy Clarkson

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Microsoft exams? Tough, you say? Pffft. 5-YEAR-OLD KID passes MCP test

The Vociferous Time Waster

Popcorn

who would have though this thread would have garnered so many insightful comments

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Poll trolls' GCHQ script sock puppets manipulate muppets

The Vociferous Time Waster

Certain regional news sites

certain regional news sites use a CMS that has an easily gamed 'most read' widget.

It doesn't use cookies or check browser versions or even look at unique IP addresses. All you need to do is loop a few times in a bash script to wget the page (minus all the chrome) to /dev/null and your favourite local cheese baking story or village fete shenanigans can sit at the top of the most read widget for as long as you like.

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Police in U-turn as 'shop a gun-owner' hotline is scrapped

The Vociferous Time Waster

I want to be very clear that the vast majority of firearms owners in the UK are law‐abiding and safety‐conscious.

Given that fairly stringent police checks are carried out for both a FAC and a SGC you can be fairly certain of this.

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The Vociferous Time Waster
Mushroom

Re: Right not privilege

An SGC is something you can get unless the police can give a reason why you can't have it. A FAC is something you can get if you have good reason to have it for a specific purpose.

Mine's the one with the black powder license in the pocket unless my hands get swabbed at airports.

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Shove over, 2FA: Authentication upstart pushes quirky login tech

The Vociferous Time Waster

Behaviour

"Good afternoon, this is HSBC fraud team, how is your Christmas shopping going?"

"Fine, thanks"

"Good to hear it, enjoy London."

Compared with more recently

"Hello, Citi, why was my card just declined at my local restaurant while taking my in laws out for dinner"

"We placed a block on your card after you bought some jewellery over the phone"

"So you let the big suspicious transaction go through but blocked the smaller and not at all suspicious transaction through?"

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MoJ hands £125m to outsourcing giant Atos

The Vociferous Time Waster

This will end well

This will be a boon for the service management, service transition, incident management and project management roles which will be filled by £600 a day contractors while the 3 people who can actually fix things are paid £19,000

Time to do Prince2 & ITIL and forget everything you know about technology.

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iBail: American Psycho actor Christian Bale rejects Steve Jobs role

The Vociferous Time Waster

Re: Perhaps a change in film style

So a fruity peep show

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Russians hear Tim Cook is gay, pull dead Steve Jobs' enormous erection

The Vociferous Time Waster

Rule of thumb

if you are pissing off the Russians you are probably doing something right.

10 points for the horse photo and caption and another 10 for the article subtitle

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Brazil greenlights $200m internet cable to Europe in bid to outfox NSA

The Vociferous Time Waster

SA to SA

There needs to be more South Africa to South America bandwidth. At the moment most of that traffic goes via Europe and USA

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Not a loyal follower of @BritishMonarchy? You missed The QUEEN*'s first Tweet

The Vociferous Time Waster

The

The Queen

The Royal Navy

The City

You all know which one.

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Revealed: The amazing magical innovation in the iPad Mini 3 – a lick of paint

The Vociferous Time Waster

Which is nice

A Caddyshack reference? Very 'target demographic'

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SKYPE has the HOTS for my NAKED WIFE

The Vociferous Time Waster

Re: Disable it.

Sure you did

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The Vociferous Time Waster

Re: https://appear.in

Two different operating systems give different results but still people blame the network.

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The Vociferous Time Waster

Re: Poll

@ACx

Advertising doesn't work on me.

Sent from my iPhone

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YARR! Pirates walk the plank: DMCA magnets sink in Google results

The Vociferous Time Waster

Easy way to reduce dmca notices

if Google are getting swamped with dmca notices they should take the labour government approach and require all requests to be filed on paper in triplicate and signed along with a copy of the submitter's birth certificate verified by a solicitor, doctor, magistrate or justice of the peace. All forms should be discussed at a quarterly meeting and the minutes published in a locked storage cabinet with a sign saying beware of the leopard.

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That's PROFESSOR Woz to you from now on, young whippersnapper

The Vociferous Time Waster

Now then

one claiming he had changed her life in 60 seconds

Fnarr fnarr

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Doctor Who's Flatline: Cool monsters, yes, but utterly limp subplots

The Vociferous Time Waster

banksy.com

When I realised it involved graffiti and Bristol I was on the lookout for toff wall dauber and trademarked recluse Banksy dot com as a cameo amongst all the two dimensional characters.

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'Dancing Jesus' file-sharer found guilty

The Vociferous Time Waster

Sure he's a freetard

but Homeland Security? Was he also branded a terror suspect for the purposes of getting appropriate sieze powers?

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Scientists skeptical of Lockheed Martin's truck-sized FUSION reactor breakthrough boast

The Vociferous Time Waster

Meh

fusion power is just a fleisch in the pons.

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Facebook storage techies: We sift through your family snaps to find 'warm BLOBs'

The Vociferous Time Waster

@ravenviz

You're sort of right.

Not enough to be a pedant but enough to just about not be wrong.

ISO 31 has been superseded by ISO80000 so there is that to deal with if you are trying to be a pedant, and pointing out lack of white space *is* pedantic.

More importantly the ISO refers to styling of SI and derived units. The byte is not an SI unit or derived from any of the physical measures of the SI system so doesn't really apply anyway.

It's a bit like complaining that a bike doesn't comply with a car safety standard from 2008.

But thanks for taking part in the discussion.

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Trolls have DARK TETRAD of personality defects, say trickcyclists

The Vociferous Time Waster

Re: Trolling for suckers

I couldn't *not* slip in _something_.

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The Vociferous Time Waster

Trolling for suckers

I would expect El-Reg to know the history of the word Troll; next you will be telling us that hackers were originally people who broke in to phone systems.

Troll comes from a fishing method where bait is dragged across the bottom of the ocean to draw out the bottom feeders. It entered IT vocab because people were "trolling for suckers" who were dumb enough to take the bait. The initial comments do not have to be dark or offensive, just the sort of thing that gets people posting a reply. Mentioning that evolution is just a theory or purposely misquoting Dumbledore out of Lord of the Rings is classic trolling because although not offensive the deliberate errors will often elicit a response.

It amuses me that all this hatred of trolls is coming at a time when most mainstream media is deliberately controversial in order to 'spark debate' and Simon Cowell is the biggest troll of them all for programs like xfactor which choose the talentless over the talented in order to spark lucrative voting outrage.

Twitter 'trolls' like Old Holborn are just unpleasant people who should be ignored on Twitter as they are in real life.

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Microsoft confirms Surface NOT DEAD YET, next-gen version coming

The Vociferous Time Waster

Walking Dead

we are really going for the zombie angle today.

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No one wants iOS 8 because it's for NERDS - dev

The Vociferous Time Waster

But..

all Apple users think they are nerds

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Blighty: Welcome your new, faceless MI6 chief – Alex Younger

The Vociferous Time Waster

Google results

Some results may have been removed under data protection law in Europe.

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Apple, Google mobe encryption good news... for TERRORISTS – EU top cop

The Vociferous Time Waster

Re: Wrong.

Cool, now your identity is known only to the staff at El Reg (along with anyone tapping your internet)

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The Vociferous Time Waster

Hidden in plain sight

sneaky beaky sorts have been hiding their secrets in plain sight for decades, either in the private advert column of a newspaper or under a rock in the park; it is all just basic field craft.

Modern equivalent is putting some obscure message on to pastebin so it looks like nothing important unless you know what you are looking for

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Want to see the back of fossil fuels? Calm down, hippies. CAPITALISM has an answer

The Vociferous Time Waster

Re: (Way past) Time for an ordered priority list

Ghost of Thatcher?

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One million people have bonked on London public transport

The Vociferous Time Waster

Re: Card clash detection

It is unlikely to be that clever. Most likely just looks for two transactions through one barrier opening (they can detect objects passing through the barrier). It would most likely only have a choice between oyster and credit/debit so would prefer the oyster.

Card bonking and oyster bonking use quite distinctly different tech so are probably handled by different hardware up to a point, this is why you could detect and auth two at a time. You could no more auth two debit cards than you could two Oyster cards.

Presenting the wrong card is not tfl's problem. Reading a nearby credit card when you present your oyster is their problem because it's fraudulent on their part.

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PEAK IPV4? Global IPv6 traffic is growing, DDoS dying, says Akamai

The Vociferous Time Waster

Re: Dummy

Obvious troll is obvious.

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The Vociferous Time Waster

Re: I'll take my best shot

With reference to your BGP question it depends on a lot of factors but the biggest is the summarisation one.

If networks learn from their mistakes with v4 then there will be enough opportunities to summarise routes at points in the networks and that dramatically reduces the size of the table. The way that addresses are being allocated with massive amounts held back for future use suggests that some planning and thought has gone in to it so we must keep our fingers crossed.

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CURSE YOU, 'streaming' music services! I want a bloody CD

The Vociferous Time Waster

Re: Oh so true...

Newsflash: no you don't. You own the media and have a license to listen to the music

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Hackers thrash Bash Shellshock bug: World races to cover hole

The Vociferous Time Waster

It's all fine

As the FOSS people have been telling us for years this is open source so everyone from Richard Stallman down to Tucker in his mom's basement has reviewed this code and fixed every single bug. Unlike Windows, those big companies rely on security through obscurity.

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MOM: CHEAP Mars ship got it right first time. Nice one, India

The Vociferous Time Waster

Haw haw

...and the Russians used a pencil! Snort!

</urban Legends>

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Chinese 'Sogou Explorer' browser sends URLs to parts unknown

The Vociferous Time Waster

Ffs

The browser uses a cloud service to check for malware. It seems entirely reasonable for it to send URLs to the cloud for checking. Just because it's China doesn't mean it's the secret police. More investigation needed rather than scaremonger churnalism.

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Brit telcos warn Scots that voting Yes could lead to HEFTY bills

The Vociferous Time Waster

Give everyone in the UK the vote

That should sort it quickly. I would vote for the People's Republic of Scotland under Chairman Salmond. When the economy tanks I plan to buy up cheap property there.

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Let XKCD's Randall Munroe satisfy your curiosity in this excerpt from his book, What If

The Vociferous Time Waster

Why buy the electronic copy of things from a website?

1) the guy has to make some money somehow

2) there is content in the book that is not on the site

3) the kindle edition was on my kindle app before the dead tree versions were delivered

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The Vociferous Time Waster

It's excellent

Bought it on Kindle, read it already. It's excellent. Couldn't put it down.

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China: You, Microsoft. Office-Windows 'compatibility'. You have 20 days to explain

The Vociferous Time Waster
Big Brother

Racket

That's a nice productivity suite market share you've got there, it would be a shame if anything bad happened to it.

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Sit tight, fanbois. Apple's '$400' wearable release slips into early 2015

The Vociferous Time Waster

Pebble

Let's see it side by side with a pebble before we get too excited.

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NASA to reformat Opportunity rover's memory from 125 million miles away

The Vociferous Time Waster

Re: I'm not an electrician

The idea of getting management to do common principle courses is excellent and should be applied to security and infrastructure in most businesses.

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Community chest: Storage firms need to pay open-source debts

The Vociferous Time Waster
Trollface

But the freetards!

But it's open source so every freetard out there is busy spending every waking minute fixing bugs and auditing code. If you have big business fat cats doing the work we will have to pay for it and that costs money which we don't want to have to spend in our utopian freetard society.

Also - down with bankers.

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Google ghostly graphics haunt Image search

The Vociferous Time Waster
Terminator

Rise of the machines

Wasn't google images the platform they were using to test AI? Is this some early form of communication?

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Goog says patch⁵⁰ your Chrome

The Vociferous Time Waster

Cupertino?

Mountain View and Cupertino are a little way from each other. Perchance El Reg has been writing too much Crapple related click bait recently?

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Microsoft KILLS Windows 8.1 Update 2 and Patch Tuesday

The Vociferous Time Waster

Re: And meanwhile in Munich…

Nine? That many?

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