* Posts by Sir Sham Cad

397 posts • joined 15 Jun 2009

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You CAN'T jail online pirates for 10 years, legal eagles tell UK govt

Sir Sham Cad
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Re: Trebles and directorships all round.

You also missed "Generous donation to the Party coffers".

After all once you've got Your Man in government you want to keep him there at least until he's done everything you're payin^W lobbying him to do.

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GIGANTIC galaxy-chomping black hole rips boffins a new one

Sir Sham Cad
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Re: haven't got a clue

How do you think Science works?

We don't know something so we come up with a testable (falsifiable) hypothesis to suggest a mechanism for what we observe happening to happen. Through observation we test the hypothesis. If it seems to fit, we have a theory for how the happening happens. If not we bin it and try again. Then we observe an outlier case that challenges our theory so we come up with a falsifiable hypothesis/refinement to the theory to take into account the new observation and then we test it again. If it then fits the current cases we know about including the new outlier data we consider the theory updated and improved if it passes peer review and others are able to repeat the test with the same results. If, as is likely, in the case that in the repeat of the test, often with better equipment, we see something else curious that doesn't seem to be explained by the current, updated theory, we go again. Eventually we end up with a theory/model that very accurately explains and predicts natural phenomena.

"Making it up as you go along" is the magical thinking usually reserved for spiritual or supernatural realms of human consideration that are, by definition, outside the scope of Science.

"Starting from first principles" is the logical thinking that is part of the scientific method of starting investigating a phenomena when you haven't got a clue. And it works!

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Mozilla testing very private browsing mode

Sir Sham Cad
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Performance issues

I'm actually pretty good at just ignoring any advert that gets shoved in front of my browser-watching face (and I don't begrudge site owners taking money from advertisers who can't suss out that I don't need two microwave ovens) but my ancient laptop at home with a Celeron processor from Ye Olde Intelle circa 1753 (well, 2004) that tries to render this shit in the browser and run the browser session (quaint ideas like scrolling) cannot ignore it. Facebook I'm looking at you.

Yes, ABP, NoScript etc... would help but that still requires my vastly underpowered machine to run those plugins. If I could get that functionality in the browser session only I'd be a happy man. The additional benefit of making it harder for Zuckooglezon to track my every search term is a very welcome but secondary consideration.

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'Marshmallow' picked as moniker for Android 6.0

Sir Sham Cad
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Commercial deal fell through then?

They could have had Mars Bar, Malteasers or Milky Way just by talking to one company.

Unless the KitKat deal came with a no-compete clause from Nestle.

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Flying Spaghetti Monster spotted off Angolan coast

Sir Sham Cad
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Re: 20,000 tonnes of crude

It's OK. They can just siphonophore it off.

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Oracle pulls CSO's BONKERS anti-bug bounty and infosec rant

Sir Sham Cad
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Re: entire culture at Oracle is abusive

Oracle as a company are just fucking disgusting, to be honest.

Not necessarily to do with anything in the article, either. I just can't stand their corporate practice. This threatening behaviour and ostrich approach to infosec is just one more shit cherry on the turd cake of Corporate Oracle, for me.

In other news: I don't like Oracle very much.

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What a shower: METEORS will BLAZE a FIERY TRAIL across our skies

Sir Sham Cad
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Weather

According to the always reliable, never wrong, BBC weather website the skies (here in the south east anyway) are clearing between 9pm and 11-ish pm tomorrow night so if I can just find somewhere locally in the wide open spaces of South London with low light pollution... fuck it, I've got no chance have I?

May as well go to the pub and see if I can see any on the stagger home at kicking out time.

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Jail incompetent council folk who leak our data, thunders furious BBW

Sir Sham Cad
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Re: Failure at all levels.

>IT not securing networks and equipment when they have the tools to do it,

Assuming that IT have been given any budget for security from the finance lot especially as budgets are being slashed. Also assuming the IT department has been able to recruit/retain sufficiently knowledgable staff and hasn't been outsourced to the cleaning company as it's just a "cost centre".

Why yes, my grapes are especially sour this morning.

>Users not understanding how to handle data,

This in spades. Also users who don't bother with or care about any Information Governance training they may be given because "that's an IT thing, I don't need to worry about it *switches brain off*"

>Local auditor not doing any checks on how data is handled

Yes and, especially if the powers that be are aware of the previous point (Users) they won't be encouraged to do so.

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Wait, what? TrueCrypt 'decrypted' by FBI to nail doc-stealing sysadmin

Sir Sham Cad
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Re: @Credas

Voila. Proof-by-xkcd (pretty sure that's a genuine methodology):

https://xkcd.com/936/

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The Q7: Audi’s big SUV goes from tosspot to tip-top

Sir Sham Cad
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Re: Top Gear insult on its head

"How's your Skoda Yeti?"

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Virgin Galactic SpaceShipTwo crackup verdict: PILOT ERROR

Sir Sham Cad
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Re: There's something missing here.

Reading between the lines it seems that the less experienced co-pilot wasn't trained by Scaled Composites in what would happen if he did unlock the shuttlecock booms during that phase of flight.

It may be he thought that he was just unlocking them ready to be deployed later, not that this would actually deploy them with the atmospheric drag under rocket power. It may be that he didn't know that deploying the booms under rocket propulsion could cause structural failure. Probably both.

This bit: "Virgin Galactic has added an inhibitor so its feather locks cannot be unlocked in certain conditions." suggests that either Scaled didn't know that structural failure was a possibility or didn't think that the humans on board unlocking the feathers at the wrong time was a possibility. This part: "[Scaled] identified that it did not have human factor expertise" suggests the latter.

If that's the case then the blame lies squarely with SC who obviously didn't know what they were doing. Which, when you're doing something for the first time is understandable I suppose. That said, a brave test pilot is dead and another badly injured because someone greenlit the flight without sufficient sanity checks.

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Marshall wants to turn your phone UP TO ELEVEN

Sir Sham Cad
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Re: Especially as the amp's main benefit to humans is distortion

Then I humbly suggest you're doing it wrong.

Distortion, among other effects should be done away from the amp, in an effects board or pedals, and that sound fed into the amp which if it's any good, will replicate faithfully with clarity, presence and loudness. Much, much loudness. If the amp is clipping at high gain either it's a poo amp or you're poo at using it.

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The Great Barrier Relief – Inside London's heavy metal and concrete defence act

Sir Sham Cad
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And when you've finished

Carry on west up the Thames Path a short way and have a pint in the Hope and Anchor pub. Good beer and they were child friendly last time I was there (disclosure: fecking years ago) Then continue west and have another pint at the Pilot Inn.

This area has been massively developed since I lived down that way so the Pilot gets very busy but that was a classic Saturday walk.

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Natural geothermal heat under Antarctic ice: 'Surprisingly HIGH'

Sir Sham Cad
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Re: I'm just waiting for..

But it is! Fracking is so insidious that the terrible effects travel backwards in time like an ecological Terminator to cause environmental disaster before any fracking took place! Sumatran earthquake in 2004? All because some fucker decided to frack for shale gas in Yorkshire in 2016.

Mark my words, it'll all be true!

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Mighty CHASMS, craters FOUND ON MOON of Pluto

Sir Sham Cad
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Re: Circular, dark

No no no. Everyone* knows that you don't pay the ferryman.

*Chris de Burgh

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ALIEN SLIME SHOCKER: Approaching comet probably NOT inhabited, say boffins

Sir Sham Cad
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Re: don't go insulting Captain Cyborg

Why not? It's a fun sport.

This is the guy who makes Julian Arsewhinge look like a self-publicity amateur by running around announcing The Singularity Is Coming! The Singularity Is Coming! because he's stuck an RFID chip under his skin and it's readable leaving many pet owners wondering whether or not this means Rover and Kitty are now actually Dr Who villans.

I know he brings in good money and PR coverage to the department and there's some actual research in there somewhere but christ he's an annoying, attention-seeking nobber who is the public science equivalent of the Cillit Bang bloke.

Of course he's already read this comment with the Raspberry Pi he's sewn into his arse cheeks and will doubtless be sending his army of RFID chipped dogs and cats to murder me as I type.

See? Fun!

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Sir Sham Cad
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Re: So basically

That was exactly my take on it as well.

Unlike this guy, who I hope has this on his business card:

"Dr Matt Taylor, Death Metal physicist"

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Behold the mighty Swiss SPACE JUNK NOSHER PODULE

Sir Sham Cad
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Re: Didn't Hugo Drax

That was Blofeld, capturing Soviet and American manned capsules in order to get them to FIGHT!*

You Only Live Twice was my favourite Bond film until Goldeneye.

Drax had his own Shuttles. With frickin' lasers.

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Dormant ALIEN SLIME LIFE frozen in SPEEDING comet will AWAKEN - boffins

Sir Sham Cad
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Re: microbes (for which there is *no evidence*)

*ahem* From the article:

"Dr Max Wallace and Professor Chandra Wickramasinghe say that data from the Rosetta probe now in orbit about the comet and the small lander Philae deployed to its surface support their theory"

What evidence that is, from the article on the RAS site, appears to be the following:

"Wallis and Wickramasinghe cite further evidence for life in the detection by Philae of abundant complex organic molecules on the surface of the comet and in the infrared images taken by Rosetta."

Not smoking gun proof but hell, they're doing science - On. A. Comet.

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Vale Matti Makkonen, SMS dreamer

Sir Sham Cad
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Re: text messages with far more than 160 characters.

You know that that's not one SMS message don't you? The longer message is fragmented into several seperate SMS messages in transit and then reassembled into one message by the receiving device.

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Goodbye Vulcan: Blighty's nuclear bomber retires for the last time

Sir Sham Cad
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Re: A "Pocket" Bomber

They have one in the bomber hangar at the RAF Museum in Hendon, north London. You only realise how big it is when you've spent half an hour in the hangar and realise you're still under its wing.

It may not have the biggest payload but the sheer surface of wing is fricking enormous.

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10 things you need to avoid SNAFUs in your data centre

Sir Sham Cad
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Re: not supposed to insert the plugs there.

Been tempted on many occasions to inset the plugs in that very location of the idiot who shipped us kit with the wrong bastard power cables.

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Sir Sham Cad
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Re: US-style plugs on the cables

I have been saved on many an occasion by having some spare C15 female - C16 male power cables left over from a UPS refresh project. We've got tons of old C15 kettle leads about so with the cunning combination of the two plus some electrical tape = my 3750-X can now be switched on despite the worst intentions of the tin distributor.

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Philae warms up nicely, sends home second burst of data

Sir Sham Cad
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Re: Bounce @Charlie Clark

The main strategy to mitigate bouncing was the harpoon system that was going to be fired into the comet. Due to the lack of gravity and Newton's pesky Third Law, Philae had a thruster designed to combat the push-back effect of the harpoon hitting the comet's surface. That thruster failed so no harpoon anchor could be deployed.

Another reason why the downvote-bait first comment about overengineering is complete bollocks.

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For fax's sake: Medic chaos as e-Referrals system goes offline

Sir Sham Cad
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Pure speculation but...

From past experience with system migrations such as this, yes the demand would be well known. However it almost certainly also involves a change of platform so the translation of demand to back-end load isn't so well known. The usual method of back-end compute provision in my experience from these 3rd parties is they'll under resource, hope they get away with it and add more grunt if necessary later.

No, I don't know why full load testing wasn't done either.

Glad I'm not on the phones.

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Did climate change scare off vegan dinos for millions of years? 'Yes'

Sir Sham Cad
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Re: run irrigation

This.

If we can get enough water to the plants we can graze animals and retain agriculture. Without the water supply you lose the plants and the rest is uncomfortable. I'd still prefer a more aspirational future for our species and the natural ecosystems but I agree, humans (in reduced numbers, obv) as a species could survive.

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Sir Sham Cad
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Re: A far cry

Firstly, yes, I read "but the findings do indicate that if we continue our present course..." and wondered what the fuck it was talking about. The findings indicate that, based on the historical configuration of the Earth 60 million years ago, there has been observed and verified an effect on the ecosystem of highly elevated CO2 compared to today's Earth, of limiting the ecosystem based on energy from plants.

Why try to tack on a modern Climate Change conclusion?

Secondly, however, I would nitpick your conclusion that "Earth can support 4-6 times higher levels of CO2 in the atmosphere". It's about *rate* of change as well. Ecosystems need time to adapt and change. Go too fast and you get desert, flood or ice sheet. That's three ways to ruin your weekend.

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Sir Sham Cad
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Re: Last I checked

Check again.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_California_wildfires

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2014_Washington_state_wildfires

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Arizona_wildfires

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Colorado_wildfires

and it goes on for Oregon, Montana, Utah Nevada, Wyoming in fact if you do any simple research (use google) you'll find that, in fact, they're all very susceptible to summer wildfires.

I'm not sure you've understood the correlation between atmospheric temperature and ignition of vegetation, either. It's usually lightning that causes the ignition. The hotter the atmosphere the drier the vegetation and the greater chance of lightning.

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'Nothing to see here', says ECJ as Safe Harbour opinion delayed

Sir Sham Cad
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Amazon S3

Recently for work I was investigating secure cloud storage options from what was G-Cloud. Amazon S3 was the only one I looked at that would potentially store data in the US under Safe Harbour agreement. In fact:

"Data management location: UK, EU, USA - Safe Harbor, Other countries with data protection treaties"

and

"Legal jurisdiction of service provider: USA - Safe Harbor"

So I recommended against it.

If Safe Harbour is pulled then Amazon will need to drastically change how they manage S3 data or they'll lose all EU public sector business.

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Screw you, Apple! We're still making phones no one wants – Samsung

Sir Sham Cad
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Oh good! Hardware Android buttons are back

Said nobody ever.

That choice cannot have been made for ruggedness and just makes the front of the device look cheap and nasty.

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'Nobody owns 'ol Sol. Now gimme €10k to keep it that way, suckers'

Sir Sham Cad
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Re: Is this a typo? Or am I just not awake yet?

I read that as exactly the sort of thing a spook would say:

Privacy concerns, over and above the things we tell you to be concerned about instead, are not something we give a shit about.

At least he's honest.

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High-flying LOHAN fan raises ale-filled tankard

Sir Sham Cad
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Re: I don't understand but....

The pilot is holding the stick with his left because he's using the right hand to hold the camera he's using to take the photo. Martin is holding his right handed tankard with his right hand as normal.

The left handed tankard is a one-off mutant variety created for El Reg's Drew Cullen.

Ooh six minutes until I can hoist a tankard of ale. Wonderful.

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Sir Sham Cad
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Re: stout in a dimpled tankard

Only if you're drinking Irish Stout.

An Imperial Stout should, like a good Porter, be served in the tankard.

Of course, those of a certain age will be reminded of this advert from the 80s.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dt70EeRMhAQ

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Sir Sham Cad
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Re: Vapourware

I don't know what your definition of vapourware is but there's a fully designed, built, sim flight tested 3D printer spaceplane with fully tested, completely custom launch rig, ignition mechanism, failsafe cutdown, avionics and, most importantly, backronyms courtesy of an awful lot of people who are very much behind this incredibly complex, ambitious and first of its kind endeavour. They even have a spaceport ready for use, FFS.

Yes it's turned out to be a lot more complicated than anyone could have imagined at the beginning but the team have been fully flight ready for a considerable amount of time. As soon as the FAA issue the papers the world will witness the firepower of this fully armed* and operational spaceplane.

If you're bored with it already then quit being such a bloody wet blanket and read some of the many non-LOHAN articles on this website instead.

* BRASTRAP, natch.

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Swarm of Apple iRobots released to map interior of Cupertino HQ

Sir Sham Cad
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Re: Apple HQ

Just wait until they find out about GCHQ Cheltenham!

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SME IT contracts? That's the last thing Whitehall wants – report

Sir Sham Cad
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Re: industry level salaries

I don't even think it's that. It's more that people with skills in managing IT procurement etc... are not seen as key front line staff so are the first to be axed or otherwise have the post frozen as part of cost reduction programmes (read: swingeing budget cuts).

Of course this invokes the law of unintended consequences which then screws the department for a lot more money to rectify the lack of skills in-post.

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Galapagos volcano's MILE-HIGH WALL of FIRE menaces SUPER-RARE iguanas

Sir Sham Cad
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Re: injunction against the volcano

Well quite. That fucker has rounded corners *and* a chunk out of the side.

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Sir Sham Cad
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Hot meat pies?

There's (or perhaps was) supposed to be a population of C. becki tortoises on the northern and western slopes of Volcan Wolf. If the lava is flowing south west (and never mind the dispersement of hot ash) could this endanger that population?

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DDoS attack downs University of London learning platform

Sir Sham Cad
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Not just students

ULCC also provide hosted Moodle sites for other organisations.

To be fair to them they're a good bunch and clued. As Lost all faith says above, DDoS is difficult to prevent which is why it's the attack-of-choice if you just want to vandalise some shit on the Internet.

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SAVE THE PLANKTON: So much more than whale food

Sir Sham Cad
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Re: Standards please

The El Reg standard unit for Length is the Linguine. 87000 miles is, I think we all agree, best expressed as 1000114955.742 Linguine.

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Nokia getting there with HERE as rivals talk up price

Sir Sham Cad
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Re: Worth as much as 6 billion?

You're reading it wrong. The original cost was 8.1 billion USD. The 6 billion estimate is in Euro. Ignoring what the Euro/Dollar exchange rate was at purchase, 8.1bn USD is about 7bn Euro. So they'd lose 1 billion on purchase price.

That's OK if they've made that profit in the preceding years and especially so if the bidding war pushes past the 6.

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Well YES, Silicon Valley VCs do think you're a CRETIN

Sir Sham Cad
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Re: Utility companies

Oh yes. Put one of these chips in every "smart meter". Print money.

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Pundits ponder perilous placement of STANDING STONES on Comet 67P

Sir Sham Cad
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Icehenge

I thought Icehenge was just a shit Kim Stanley Robinson book. Turns out it was non-fiction.

So, yeah, it was Us all along.

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IEEE's prescription for med-tech crowd: preventing hacks is better than a cure

Sir Sham Cad
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No incentive

The medical devices market is a very restricted field. Certainly if you're after medical software it's even worse. Basically there's a certain amount of "BT Syndrome" in that these companies don't need to have fantastic products because where else are you going to go? As the title says there's no incentive for these companies to spend time and money aiming for excellence when they just need to be good enough to flog to a captive audience.

My personal worry is that, as more and more devices are connecting wirelessly, the potential for attack grows massively. I can tell you from personal experience that even newer devices have old wireless crypto and authentication standards. Why bother updating it? It's "good enough". *sigh*

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LOHAN's final test flight moniker: The people must decide

Sir Sham Cad
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PRATCHETT just put a lump in my throat.

For sheer Because It's Friday:

LOTOFTARTS

Last Of The Official Flight Telemetry Avionic Rig Test Simulations

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You're going to have stop calling people 'cold fish': THIS one is HOT-BLOODED

Sir Sham Cad
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Re: Full marks for the headline and all, but....

According to sources (oh, alright, wonkypodiatrist and giggle) R'lyeh lies close to the Nemo Point in the South Pacific. This is pretty much bang in the middle of the Pacific Abyssal Plain which is somewhere between 3650m and 6000-odd metres deep. Cthulhu would be waiting dreaming at roughly 4000m

Looking up at those wussy Opah that can only handle that mesopelagic fluff.

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'Nokia store? I dunno no Nokia store. This here's a Microsoft Reseller'

Sir Sham Cad
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Microsoft Mobile Resellers

Isn't that just some bloke flogging dodgy Lumias from the boot of his car?

"Smartphonesforatennergetchergenuinephones. It's OK Madam, I'm a Microsoft Mobile Reseller, I am."

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EU wants a panel o'boffins to replace solo science advisor

Sir Sham Cad
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Evidence based policy

Great idea. That way, when they only listen to the evidence that supports their existing policies they can say it's backed up by science. They can continue to ignore the rest of it.

Still, it's better than the nothing that currently exists so, cynicism aside, I'm for it.

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BATWINGED DINO-PIGEON causes FLAP in bone-boffinry circles

Sir Sham Cad
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Re: most of the time, they barely have a tenth of one.

Yes, but with luck they find more identifiably the same remains in another location with maybe a couple of additional bones to add to the jigsaw puzzle so there's evidence that there wasn't just one of these things which, in the wake of the "Archeoraptor" hoax, would make it a strong candidate for a healthy dose of scepticism.

I'm quite happy that they may not have much of a complete skeleton. Less so that what they have got has only been unearthed in one location. That said, I hope they do find many more because dino-boffinry is cool. Bloody hard but cool.

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Brits send Star Wars X-wing fighter to the stratosphere

Sir Sham Cad
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Hoping to catch the eye of JJ Abrams.

Not quite. Needs moar lens flare! Get those images to Photoshop* stat!

*or GIMP or Paint Shop Pro if that's still going or other commentard-approved image editing software.

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