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* Posts by Sir Sham Cad

230 posts • joined 15 Jun 2009

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Look behind you, 'declining' sub-$5bn iPod. The iWatch has come... to EAT YOU

Sir Sham Cad
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Re: I beg to differ

Your strategy seems very similar to my own. I have a 1st gen iPod Touch but the battery on that just cannot hold a charge anymore so it's OK for maybe a couple of hours playing time.

However, when that runs out of battery I still have my phone. Likewise if my phone conks out I still have my iPod Touch. If I used an iPhone or other single device then, when that runs out of juice I'm SOL for all functions.

My tablet can play movies and music, held locally or in the Cloud. My smartphone can play music and movies, held locally or in the Cloud. Both can stream from Spotify. When my old iPod Touch battery finally stops being useful I will actually replace it with a new iPod Touch because the tablet is too big to lug around just as a portable media player and my phone is for communications (and internet when I've got no WiFi anywhere).

Since I had the iPod Touch every phone I've had has been able to play music (Sony Ericsson T610 - agree it was a POS, Nokia N73, Nokia N75, Nokia 5230, HTC Desire Z) and none of them have ever replaced the small, slim, "smart" dedicated media device.

If you shrink down the iPod Touch, put it on my wrist and add a couple of Smartwatch functions then great but I still get to have a dedicated device seperate from my other gadget functions.

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LOHAN preps Vulture 2 for hot vinyl wrap

Sir Sham Cad
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Re: You reckon?

"busybodies of customs, immigration, "anti-terrorist" police, the bomb squad"

At Portsmouth continental ferry port? Bwahahaha!

No, they all got downsized as part of the War on Public Sector Jobs. That and Pompey CFP is dying on its arse.

You might get one bloke from Group 4 on minimum wage who can't be arsed to look up from his copy of Heat magazine from 2008.

I reckon SPB could get an actual vulture through there if they wanted.

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Brit game devs WILL get tax relief for, er, EastEnders Game and Legend of Slough

Sir Sham Cad
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Re: "Tea shop manager"

This sounds perfect for a tie-in with popular IP. We have a great culture of kids TV in this country ripe for exploitation. A "Big Cook Little Cook: Scone in 60 seconds" game would go gangbusters.

Hmm.

The Wombles - isometric resource management game

What's The Story: Balamory - murder mystery puzzle game

Plants Vs Zombies: Bill & Ben edition

Andy Pandy: Modern Warfare

Someone get Tony Hall on the phone, we're going to be rich!

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CHILLING STUDY: Rise of the data-slurping SNITCH GADGETS

Sir Sham Cad
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Re: Heck! Where's Guvmint when it is needed

I could be wrong but I don't think that dosh collected from Vehicle Excise Duty is ring-fenced for upkeep and/or planning of road systems. I think it goes back into general taxation, I.E. Osbourne gets to give it to his mates... erm, I mean, spend it in line with Government agenda.

VED cost is based, loosely, on how much of a Petrol Swilling, Bunny Murdering Enviro-Satan some utterly made up figures reckon your car is, not where it's driven, how it's driven etc...

This makes Mike Smith's scenario of a gov.uk led Telematics rollout being used to send your VED north instead of south the more likely. Gov.uk isn't going to spend money in order to allow itself to bring in less money even if that's the way it should work.

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Samsung and Apple BEWARE: Huawei is coming to eat your lunch

Sir Sham Cad
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Consumer brand awareness

They no haz it, so it doesn't matter how amazing the kit is, Apple and Sammy are still way ahead on logo recognition. Same problem HTC had so Hu-Ah-Yoo are going to need to spend a *lot* on marketing.

Even those who know the company associate them with back end telco kit and packet pushing devices not consumer goods (In much the same way as Nokia should be but aren't).

Still, great stuff and I can't wait to see them push the technology and innovate the shit out of the rather stagnant smartphone market.

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Someone's snatched my yummy Brit COTTAGE PIE – Viv Reding

Sir Sham Cad
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Showcase?

Much as I enjoy them I wouldn't have picked a cottage pie to showcase the best of British pies! A quick (but usually expensive) trip to Borough Market will net you some fantastic pastry-based nosh.

Maybe Eric Pickles ate all the good ones?

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'I don't understand why they feel like they own the word CANDY'

Sir Sham Cad
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Trademarking words FTW

Now I can release my completely different and original confectionery matching puzzle game "Sweet Squash Story" and be completely untouchable 'cos I used different words. Ace!

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Apple plans to waggle iNormous 4½-incher in fanbois' faces

Sir Sham Cad
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iMax

"Your pictures and videos will look great on our new, bigger, iMax screen. What?"

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Developers: Behold the bug NOBODY can fix

Sir Sham Cad
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Re: what's worse

Nerd tatoos of a programming language that uses significant whitespace, obv, but of the options you give, I'm a sucker for nerd T-Shirts so I'm comfortable with the idea of being daubed in witty geek slogans or jokes that require a knowledge of higher maths to understand, that make everyone who isn't a nerd hate me on sight.

Programming languages with shitty syntax, however, can fuck right off.

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Vultures circle to feast on carcass of free remote desktop service LogMeIn

Sir Sham Cad
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Re: VPN + RDP?

Steve,

We're a 24/7/365 workplace with 9-5 Mon-Fri IT staff so being able to remotely fix stuff is important especially the VPN that is used by the other staff all the time. If the PC crashed at the same time the VON got b0rked it would be unlucky and someone would have to go to site and do stuff. Also with something like LMI I could access my PC for emergency work when I didn't have a device configured for the VPN handy (like when visiting my Mum). It really has been a useful alternative for me.

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Sir Sham Cad
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Re: VPN + RDP?

That's great but what happens if/when the VPN fails? How do you remotely fix the VPN issue without an alternative way to get onto your network (such as a remote access app)?

LogMeIn (and similar apps) very much has its uses for an IT Support function.

Of course manglement won't pay for it. They'll suggest using the VPN+RDP they've already paid for.

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Our robot overlords won't be evil cyborgs: Prepare for whisker-equipped ROBO-KITTIES

Sir Sham Cad
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The Purrminator

Well, looks like the mice are fucked.

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Our Milky Way galaxy is INSIDE OUT. Just as we suspected, mutter boffins

Sir Sham Cad
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Re: ?

Where do I think I'm going with my big bangs and black holes? On David Cameron's naughty list of course!

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Sir Sham Cad
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Re: Just a simple question.

It's not a simple question but a very profound one. Unfortunately it's founded on a notion of causality and familiar laws of nature that just didn't exist at the very earliest beginnings of the universe. What does it matter what came "before" when time itself didn't exist so the question itself has no meaning.

Big Bang theory only gives us info on what the universe was like about 10^-43 seconds (Planck time) into its life. Beyond that, physics of any kind just doesn't play.

It's reasonable to speculate that a singularity existed as infinite potential and had a quantum jitter (read: because it could rather than conventional quantum mechanical processes) which caused a spacetime to develop with a unified symmetrical force out of the infinite potential. However we have no way of probing back that far for reasons already mentioned.

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Sir Sham Cad
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Re: That's my take on it.

You'll be disappointed to know that your high entropy collection of pseudo-scientific jargon is just a lot of made up bollocks.

Inflationary cosmology explains why the shape of the universe we observe is flat (read: Euclidean so your toroids etc... are right out), the extremely rapid expansion caused by the collapse of the energy density of the inflaton field (no plasma of any kind as there was no matter at all prior to this point, it's all quantum fields) drove the matter density of the universe to equal the critical energy density predicted to give us a flat universe.

In terms of where the perturbation came from that set the inflaton field off on its rapid tumble towards (nearly) zero energy, simple quantum fluctuations were enough. Same as for the Higgs field that gave a meaning to a "mass" property.

In terms of where the matter came from, remember matter and energy are the same. As the inflaton field collapsed it drew energy from the negative gravity causing the inflation of space as it was shedding that energy as matter and radiation so the more space expanded the more mass/energy the inflaton field could dump into space. To the point where an original mass in the universe before inflation of 2.1601 Jub would account for all that we see in the universe including the "Dark" stuff.

So we have an original, tiny lump of spacetime containing only quantum fields at high energy. Quantum jitters go jitter and we have a amazingly rapid period of expansion creating all matter and energy in the universe. As gravity starts to have an effect this expansion slows down and astrophysical processes start making galaxies and all the good stuff. Right up until the point that space expanded so much that the negative gravity left over from the inflaton field having non-zero energy is enough to overcome the gravity that slowed the expansion and, right now, it's on the increase again.

Also, this article references "Standard Big Bang Theory" but the processes involved occur after the effects of Inflationary Theory therefore don't actually speak to Standard Theory versus Inflationary Theory.

Right, even I'm bored of this post now. To The Pub!

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Lenovo Yoga 10: Mediocre tech, yes, but beautifully fondleable

Sir Sham Cad
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Re: what the hell did the author mean

Humour.

Glad I could clear that up for you.

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MANIC MINERS: Ten Bitcoin generating machines

Sir Sham Cad
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Re: Bitcoin mining == Pyramid scheme

So I'm buying expensive dedicated hardware that, due to the nature of the task at hand, is going to have an ever-decreasing rate of ROI *by design* so that, in order to maintain my *current* level of BTC return I'm going to have to upgrade to faster, newer hardware ad infinitum. In order for this to be viable, especially with ever increasing cost of energy, it's going to have to generate a shitload of BTC in order to be profitable. Which it won't because BTC creation is deliberately nobbled in order to retain scarcity, hence value. So as an end consumer I'm either going to have to keep giving manufacturers more money in order to maintain my position of BTC wealth (possibly slightly growing it) and these manufacturers, setting how efficiently these devices mine BTC thereby controlling how much BTC wealth I can maintain/grow, set the $ prices accordingly.

I think you've absolutely nailed it with your pyramid scheme appellation.

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Tech titan Bill Gates: Polio-free India one of the 'most impressive accomplishments' ever

Sir Sham Cad
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Pint

Re: bottled water and champagne

And us riff-raff will just do what we did to avoid cholera last time round. Only drink beer.

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Has Intel side-stepped NGOs on conflict minerals in its chips?

Sir Sham Cad
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Doing it the easy way

If Dodd-Frank is the legal method you must use to be compliant then are Intel, despite their method being sensible, effective and efficient, still judged to be legally non-compliant? Basically are they allowed by the morons who decided that doing it the hard way is the only way, to call their stuff "Conflict Free"?

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Joke no more: Comedy virty currency Dogecoin gets real in big Xmas heist

Sir Sham Cad
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Re: pound of silver

I think the origin of the name "sterling" came from our illiterate ancestors' name for a silver coin used by them wot conquered us in 1066. A quick wackypodia check tells me there were 240 of those from a pound in weight of silver.

So, yes, I suppose at least by name you'd expect 2.578g of silver for your £1 sterling (or in real money 0.6138 MilliJub)

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MailOnline pulls recipe site after innocent young cookbook DEFILED

Sir Sham Cad
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I guess Using IIS6.0...

...was a recipe for disaster. </sunglasses>

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You gotta fight for your copyright ... Beastie Boys sue toymaker over TV ad

Sir Sham Cad
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Re: There's only one way to find out.

Also: Googlefight.

Beasties: 27,700,000

Goldiblox: 3,770,000

in case anyone's interested.

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Marketing told us: 'Justin Bieber is a fad. He’s not going to last.' – Company formerly known as RIM

Sir Sham Cad
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Re: Reminds me of Mary Antoinette

And it wasn't even Marie Antoinette and may well be apocryphal.

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Big goolies-grabbing black snake nips unlucky bloke's trouser snake

Sir Sham Cad
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Re: Spoilsport though I know I'm being...

>I have to ask - IT?

This is the Bootnotes section. I'd be disappointed if there *was* an IT angle!

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Smarty Ring promises technology at your fingertips

Sir Sham Cad
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And if it made an audible sound on receiving a call

It would be a Ring Ring.

Oh yes, coat. Right-oh.

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Meet NASA's Valkyrie: A SILKY BUSTY ROBO-MINX that'll save your life

Sir Sham Cad
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Superhero robots sent to clean up Mars

Someone at DARPA's been at the A.B.C. Warriors trades again!

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New York City plans massive free Wi-Fi zone

Sir Sham Cad
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SIngle service provider

Where I've seen "free Wi-Fi City" actually work There has been a number of private providers depending on the area. If there is one company going to get the contract to provide a large-scale infrastructure then that's a lot of pork that someone else isn't getting. I agree with AC (09:49) that those who aren't getting any pork and yet see their business undermined are going to raise hell. However the fact is that it's easier and a lot faster to implement several small infrastructure projects than one huge one and for that fact alone I remain sceptical that this will work as planned.

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eBay head honcho: Amazon drone delivery plan is 'FANTASY'

Sir Sham Cad
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Re: collection centres or similar

Well Amazon and others have already been courted by Transport for London about paying them to use Tube Stations as pick-up points. Not to say it'll take off (see, drone related puns are in this year) but I think that'd be a great idea. Your idea of taking underperforming shops and giving them an Amazon Collection Point in-store isn't so far fetched!

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How the UK's national memory lives in a ROBOT in Kew

Sir Sham Cad
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Informative article.

The bit about the pubs. I shall have to seek these out in the spring.

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Los Angeles' weather is just like MORDOR, says Brit climate prof

Sir Sham Cad
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Re: Does that include the Smog?

No but maybe a Smaug.

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Sir Sham Cad
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Re: what resources did he use?

I'm going to hazard a guess at "a computer". People even have them in their homes these days. Can you imagine!

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ESA readies Rosetta for next year's comet touchdown

Sir Sham Cad
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Re: who will fix R2

Chewbacca, obviously!

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Nokia offers India £224 MEELLION to keep Microsoft deal on track

Sir Sham Cad
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Re: Love it

Patent troll? Nokia? The same Nokia that The EU Competition commission has a) said isn't currently patent trolling and b) decided is unlikely to start now?

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2013/12/10/ec_competition_chief_points_trollhunting_guns_at_nokia/

Or did you read the many articles that kind of decided to omit this bit:

"the claims we dismissed were that Nokia would be tempted to behave like a patent troll or – to use a more polite phrase – a patent assertion entity"

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Exploits no more! Firefox 26 blocks all Java plugins by default

Sir Sham Cad
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Great reason to upgrade

My version of FF started blocking my old version of Flash a while back requiring me to explicitly allow just like this. I thought it was a great way to browse. I use a lot of Java apps at work and "always allow from this site" would not be a hinderance in any way. Nice one Moz.

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UK.gov declares digital success as PR, food shops redefined as 'tech' businesses

Sir Sham Cad
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That's brilliant. The owners of Zapata in the 90's were the Glazer family. Oh and, yes, during that time they did produce fish protein mulch and dumped the oil bit.

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French gov used fake Google certificate to read its workers' traffic

Sir Sham Cad
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Proxies

And this is also how many enterprise proxy servers work to allow SSL connections to be policed (in the sense of applying policies). Enterprise PCs trust the inside cert on the proxy because GPO and the proxy decrypts the traffic and then establishes the SSL session with the remote host. Effectively the proxy pretends to be the remote host as far as your browser session is concerned.

Of course that's not the same as forging another Trusted CA cert to get around having to have yours trusted by devices you can't or don't control. In this respect you remove the ability of the person who doesn't want their emails to be decrypted and read to control their cert trust list.

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China, Brazil mourn loss of their $250m CBERS-3 satellite after fiery death

Sir Sham Cad
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Timely reminder that...

Despite all the great leaps forward made by China, India, SpaceX, the UK Space Agency (OK, maybe not them) in space exploration and the fact that satellite launches are commonplace, This shit ain't easy and every successful launch and payload placement is a triumph of human endeavour!

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Blighty could put a (WO)MAN on MARS by 2040, says sci minister

Sir Sham Cad
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using space to assist in social and economic development

That sounds like Tory speak for "Send all the poor people into orbit and kick them out the airlock" to me.

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OMG, Andrex KILLED the PUPPY! Not quilty, exclaim bog roll boys

Sir Sham Cad
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Re: Clear proof....

These are people who have enough time on their hands that they sign up for a newsletter about bog roll. They are that desperate for something to express an opinion about.

These people also have the vote.

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EC competition chief points troll-hunting guns at Nokia

Sir Sham Cad
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Devices patents

In the case of Nokia a lot of these will be in the mobile telephony arena and many of those will still fall into the FRAND category so surely they'd be limited in how much trolling they could actually do even if they decided to do that. Also part of the Microsoft deal was that MS would get to use those patents in the devices anyway.

There's surely nothing to see here and Forbes are just being shitstirring knobends.

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How UK air traffic control system was caught asleep on the job

Sir Sham Cad
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Re: Odd.

Well, reading a few posts later than yours, The_H appears to have answered your question. it looks as if MIL ATC was also being handled at Swanwick from that day onwards which just utterly removes any fallback to MIL ATC in case of any future issues. Perhaps that decision might be coming up for a rethink!

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To fel with you! There's an NSA spook in my World of Warcraft

Sir Sham Cad
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Re: What? No Everquest 2 or Planetside 2 Spying?

Not just the spooks. Any press release at all that mentions MMOs don't think anybody will know what they're on about if they mentioned PS2 or EQ2 because Sony never saw fit to advertise them properly (nobody has a clue what I'm on about when I tell them how I spend my spare time) so they say "WoW" as people have at least seen adverts on telly for it.

I've seen trolls (not the playable race kind) on EQ2 pretend they're the Feds but that's about it.

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EU legal eagle Legal: Data protection reforms 'very bad outcome' for citizens

Sir Sham Cad
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Re: The human rights act

It also makes implementing shit laws more difficult so have some swings to go with those roundabouts.

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PayPal 13 plead guilty to launching DDoS attacks

Sir Sham Cad
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Re: will the plea for clemency fall on deaf ears?

The only clemency that makes sense is to divvy up any financial penalties between the thirteen of them and also anything they may get for the plea bargain.

Current and prospective employers will check for a criminal record anyway, that's the one automatic penalty for being found guilty of *any* crime.

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NASA invites you to sleepover: Stay up and watch 'FIREBALL RICH' Geminid shower

Sir Sham Cad
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Re: Desert skies like glass

Desert floor crawling with more murderous animals than the New Den when Palace come to visit.

Set up a webcam please 'cos I'm not going to be able to see a thing in London even if the skies are clear.

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Spinning rust and tape are DEAD. The future's flash, cache and cloud

Sir Sham Cad
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Re: Bandwidth

Comepletely agree. Then when the backups fail or you can't retrieve ImportantFile.omg it's the network bod that gets the blame. You cannot have data centre speeds across a WAN. This means you can't have Data Centre level services across a WAN.

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Cheap 3D printer works with steel

Sir Sham Cad
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Trust issues

After every article I've read and TV spot I've seen about consumer/home 3d printing I've been left wondering about the quality of the part that has been made. From a replacement plastic bit for a fridge to nuts and bolts of steel I've been left thnking that I wouldn't use any of those parts in any device or machine that underwent any kind of physical stress. I wouldn't put a 3d printed washer in my washing machine in case it failed under duress in the spin cycle and trashed my appliance never mind trust one in a vehicle or the extremes of temperature and pressure in the business bits of a firearm.

I know that this tech is exciting and we're all keen to see what it can do but this hysteria in (mostly) the media by notable quotables with an obvious self interest about post-scarcity, imagination is the limit, next industrial revolution bollocks is driving me up the wall! Schtop! This revolution is not ready yet!

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El Reg's contraptions confessional no.2: Tablet PC, CRT screen and more

Sir Sham Cad
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XP tablets

Think we've still got a couple of the clunky Compaq ones with the stand and attachable rotating keyboard that are now on lots of skinny convertible tablets. They were abandoned very quickly as they weren't responsive and by Christ they were heavy!

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Google-sponsored research helps ad-slingers find fanbois on social networks

Sir Sham Cad
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Watch and bag

So if an image of me is posted on t'internets and the software notices I'm wearing a watch and carrying a bag it'll offer me adverts for a) something I clearly own already and b) a luxury, high margin product version of the cheap watch and Primarni bag that reflects my actual spending power. "We noticed you drive a Fiat Punto, have you checked out our great deals on Ferrari 458?"

Fantastic tech, don't get me wrong, but (I am not a marketing expert in any way so I likely am wrong) I don't see this having a major impact on how effectively I'm advertised at.

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Facebook offshores HUGE WAD OF CASH to Caymans - via Ireland

Sir Sham Cad
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@bigtimehustler

Oh there's a public outcry. Remember this is Blighty. A public outcry is when we're all tutting down the pub about Starbucks not paying ... how much tax... hang on let me Google that on my iPhone...

The only Boycott we know is the bloke whose grandmother plays cricket with a stick of rhubarb in the corridor of uncertainty.

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