* Posts by Sir Sham Cad

495 posts • joined 15 Jun 2009

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Database admin banned from Oxford Street for upskirt filming

Sir Sham Cad
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Mitigation

"Sorry Officer, I'm an Oracle installation engineer and I needed to look up 'a load of random arse'"

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Labour asks for more concessions on the UK's Snoopers' Charter

Sir Sham Cad
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In other news

Bloody hell. HM Official Opposition in actually opposing things shock!

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Sir Sham Cad
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Re: Referendum

No, hell no. As much as I abhor this Government there's such a thing as Voter Fatigue and with the Scottish IndyRef, General Election, Local/Mayoral elections and the EU Ref all within a short space of time and with this being such a low priority/visibility issue for the majority of the population who aren't as interested/invested in IT security and privacy issues as the like of us El Reg readers, turnout could well be fuck all enough to allow the bill to pass in whichever monstrous form Theresa May so chooses because terropaedogrants is planning attacks on house prices innit.

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One ad-free day: Three UK to block adverts across network in June

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Re: can I opt out of this?

At the moment you need to opt-in to the 24 hour trial. After that, I suspect you'd need to opt out in a manner that will be very awkward to find/do since the benefits to Three as a carrier are obvious.

I guess it depends how well the trial goes.

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Re: move will "revolutionise" mobile advertising

Move will "monetise" mobile advertising. Yep, I reckon you've got that right, AC.

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Sir Sham Cad
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Re: filtering software in place

They already have this in place as you can restrict access to, for instance, porn, over the data network until you opt in as an adult. That's been around for years.

What's new is the targeting of adverts rather than fairly non controversial stuff like adult content.

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Sir Sham Cad
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Re: refuse to show content

Now I'm not an expert in this but I think these sites detect whether you've got an ad-blocker installed, browser side. They wouldn't be able to detect at a network level. I know my users can still get to these sites even though our web filtering software blocks the ads.

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Thai bloke battles jumbo python in toilet todger thriller

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Science needs to know

How many eyes did this "trouser snake" have?

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Irish data cops kick Max Schrems' latest Facebook complaint up to EU Court

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"and Facebook has other legal methods in place to transfer data between countries"

We have an army of really expensive laywers who can tie this up in knots until it goes away.

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Microsoft's Windows Phone folly costs it another billion dollars

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Re: Anyone with a Lumia

Why?

Are your friendships based around the OS of your smartphone rather than actual personality and human interaction? Is your social circle actually just a WinPho version of the "No Homers" club and by extension, WinPho users being unable to join it are "failures"?

At worst you could say they might be technical prdiection failures based on adoption of a failed ecosystem but I'm pretty sure everyone I know with a Lumia chose it because it was a good enough smartphone with nice hardware rather than nailing themselves to the Redmond/Espoo mast forever.

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Committees: Wait! Don't strap on the Privacy Shield yet

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Re: data transfers will continue

Hahahaha nope. With no agreement in place I'm not having any corporate data leave the UK, never mind the wider EU and certainly nowhere near the US. Just no.

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Asteroid-sampling spacecraft prepped for September launch

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Re: Awesome

We've landed a probe on a comet. As far as most news organisations are concerned that's the new bar for public interest. Sticking something on an asteroid is obviously simple by comparison therefore not noteworthy.

Which is bollocks because this is going to do some brilliant science if it all comes off as planned.

Also: top backronyming.

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Aussie wedges spam javelin in ring spanner

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He obviously

needed to tighten his nuts.

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TalkTalk customers decide to StayStay after £3m in free upgrades

Sir Sham Cad
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providing free upgrades to customers.

It's called "fucking off to a different provider".

Anyone here a TalkTalk customer who can give some examples of the "upgrades" offered?

Increase in broadband speeds? Extra TV channels? If it's the former then all they've done is decrease the throttling they've put on your "up to 8Mb" line that you were getting 2Mb on and now get 4.

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IBM's Internet of Things brainbox foresees 'clean clothes as a service'

Sir Sham Cad
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Re: "“clean clothes” as a service"

Ah yes, the Internet of Thongs.

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EU vetoes O2 and Three merger: Hutchison mulls legal challenge

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Paid higher prices as a result

Too late, 3 have already done that prior to this decision in order to get the 5 years of price hikes in early. They've already squeezed their extra cash from the customer only now they get to spend it on lawyers instead of bonus^W infrastructure invesntment.

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Russia poised to unleash 'Son of Satan' ICBM

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Re: Two steps forward...

This is the Russian response to US plans to put an anti-ICBM launch site in Poland, pretty much a direct challenge to the Russian nuclear deterrant. "To our NATO strategic partners. Try shooting this one down, suckers. Love, Ivan".

Basically, for Russian ICBMs to remain a part of a strategic defense (as well as projection of national power - Putin's Big Thing) they needed to a) replace the older system anyway and b) keep them technologically relevant.

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UK.biz is still clueless at fending off malware attacks, says survey

Sir Sham Cad
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As a minimum...

No, this should not be a case of "should" it needs to be a case of "must or else..."

I'm not a fan at all of government intervention in private commerce but when it comes to the safety of data of customers and employees there needs to be a minimum mandated requirement for infosec or no data handling privs for you, Corporation X.

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Sic transit Mercury Monday

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Re: Am I missing something?

Your Joy organ, perhaps?

Sometimes it's OK just to enjoy looking at something interesting that doesn't happen every day. If you have kids or are a schoolteacher it can be educational, maybe sparking an interest in astronomy.

Even if you, personally, have no interest in it, others do so quit being a wet blanket and let people get excited if they want to.

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Ransomware grifters offer to donate proceeds of crime to charity

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Statement of the Obvious award of the week goes to:

"we can hardly trust cyber criminals to have a kind and generous side to them"

The thieving bastard scumfucks preying on the vulnerable and the institutions they rely on have just added another layer of twisted psychological abuse to ensure bigger payouts. Just when you thought they couldn't stoop lower.

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Brit polar vessel christened RRS Sir David Attenborough

Sir Sham Cad
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Just in time for his 90th Birthday too.

Let's hope Sir David gets to see the fruits of his namesake's research.

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Brits who live in 'smart cities' don't really know or care

Sir Sham Cad
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The options

Right, so a "Smart City" can offer me:

intelligent streetlights activated by movement

No thanks, I like to see where I'm going to, what's way ahead of me. That's just a simple safety thing.

driverless cars

Don't exist yet outside of private, limited trials

electric buses

What's the powertrain on a bus owned by a private transit company got to do with "Smart City" apart from something the council can stick in a brochure?

and cars which could be ordered by smartphones.

That's Uber, that is. Also other taxi companies that you can, you know, phone. From your smartphone.

It's no wonder ordinary people don't know what a "Smart City" is because the people trying to sell us this shit don't know either.

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TLS proxies: insecure by design say boffins

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Re: The only use for SSL/TLS inspection

There are a couple I can think of off the top of my head and I fully admit number 2 is essentially a bodge job.

1) I can see what sensitive corporate data such as, I dunno, customer database Employee X has uploaded to their HotGmahoo! webmail account and sent to Competitor Y. If I can inspect it I can block it/flag it/report on it. Likewise any other https sites that would otherwise not be visible to corporate web security platforms.

2) PC cert compliance. In a large corporate environment with mixed PC assets in various states of OS/browser version/patch level non-compliance you'll find machines that don't know about a lot of Trusted Root (or intermediary) CAs and supporting that is an utter nightmare, you can't go round several thousand PCs individually installing one or some, to be determined once they can't access a certain site, root certs. What you can do is push out ONE cert, the trusted corporate root CA cert, and stick one signed by that on the SSL/TLS proxy. All PCs now trust the proxy cert and the proxy can decide if the upstream web server cert is valid and allow/block accordingly.

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Siemens Healthcare struck by rebranding madness

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ENTineers, obvs.

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Sir Sham Cad
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Excellent

I can't wait for the first one of these to hit my inbox so I can share the giggles with the team.

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UK.gov wasted £20m telling you to 'be safe online, mmkay'

Sir Sham Cad
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Re: Just turn off anything executing from an email

Yes, that does put an extra step between user and payload but all it takes is for the user to download attachment and then open that scary looking invoice and you've still got fileshares full of Trj_ExploitDumbUser_Crypto/A spreading the RSA4096 love.

Nothing beats user education because the vectors and exploits are always changing but good security practise and scanning inbound attachments can help. Also: Minimal permissions on fileshares and most importantly: backups because it's only a matter of time.

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Ultra-cool dwarf throws planetary party

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TRAPPIST

That is some excellent backronyming there chaps. Well done!

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MongoDB on breaches: Software is secure, but some users are idiots

Sir Sham Cad
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Convenience

Yep, I conveniently don't need to look for my important data because it's all over the Internet.

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Nanoparticle boffinry could boost battery life

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observe hydrogen atoms moving in real time.

Erm, holy shit, science! Bearing in mind atoms don't get any smaller that's an astonishing achievement.

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First rocket finally departs Russia's Vostochny cosmodrome

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Re: Trees

The trees are there so any payloads that return to earth know where to land.

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Ex-Apple gurus' elusive Android phone coming to UK next month

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Re: quick bit of maths

Christ, and I thought I was procrastinating!

Thanks AlBailey, appreciate your work. So it's basically the same size as my S4 (although without the resolution). Personally I think that's a nice size.

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Sir Sham Cad
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Screen size?

Until I saw the curved bottom (oo-er) this reminded me very much of the old Nokia Lumia in design. I actually like it though not sure about CGM.

Only thing I couldn't see in the article was how big this hector is. Anyone know the screensize?

Yes I could google it but that would take me away from procrastinating on El Reg. Don't judge me.

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Riverbed gears up for its second IPO

Sir Sham Cad
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The possibility of being bought by the likes of Cisco

Nooooooooooooooooooooo!

The Riverbed kit I've used worked and worked well. If The Borg get hold of it they'll try to "integrate" the code with their own tin and utterly banjax it. Please continue to go it alone, Riverbed!

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Pair publishes python framework for rapid router wrecking

Sir Sham Cad
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Re: So all consumer grade routers are shit.....

If you're an IT bod then, as has been suggested, various small enterprise level routers are available through assorted online tat-bazaars.

If you're Average Consumer Person then the broadband provider should sort their shit out and provide secure, hardened routers that aren't pwnable by looking at them funny. This, of course, costs money and is outside of their core business of billing people so: "screw you ACP".

Best advice is to turn off any and all remote management features on the router, change the admin password, turn on any router level firewalls and hope for the best.

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Google discovers you assume clouds just work

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Re: Yes.

The main argument I've heard for migrating to cloud services is "I don't want to be responsible for this, I don't want to manage this, La La La I'm not listening, don't blame me blame AWS/Azure/Google/Delete as appropriate"

I'm way too much of a control freak over my data and services to be comfortable with this although I know that problems of scale and to some degree reliability go away. I'd want these alerts so at least I can be informed about the health of my cloud services. I really can't imagine shrugging my shoulders and telling the boss "dunno mate, it's Google innit? Nuffink I can do squire. Nope, no idea, they haven't said anyfink."

I am, however, in a minority of one and I am aware this makes me a freak.

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Windows 10 Anniversary Update draws nearer with Inky preview

Sir Sham Cad
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Re: NEVER opened the start menu

It's not often I use it but I do use it precisely because "simply mash the windows key and type a few letters" just isn't something I've got into the habit of doing. Probably entirely because I mostly use Win 7 at work and, as you point out, the Start Menu isn't utterly shit in Windows 7 so I'm used to using it as my go to. Even if only to type one of cmd, mstsc, mmc, services.msc or notepad in the "run" box.

I use win 8 on my desktop at home (not 8.1) so I'll see if your winkey+text method transforms it into something actually useable. Cheers.

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Dutch students serve up world's first 'drone café'

Sir Sham Cad
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Rule 34

Someone's going to mount a Fleshlight on one of these.

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Romania suffers Eurovision premature ejection

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And they'll still get douze points from Moldova.

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BOFH: Thermo-electric funeral

Sir Sham Cad
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as if owning IT antiquity was one of those positive character traits

Wait, what? It isn't?

Shit.

And there's nothing wrong with my 128mb USB stick made out of indestructible military grade bakelite the size of a chocolate bar.

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Sysadmin given Licence To Perve shows why you always get it in writing

Sir Sham Cad
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Decent filters have policies for different users. For actual genuine reasons we have an "Allow Porn" policy. One of the tests I am sometimes required to carry out is that the policies are being correctly applied. This usually involves going to a site, seeing that I can gain access, changing my policy and trying to access it again.

In my case I usually use something innocuous like an online gaming site (unless testing the Allow Porn, obv.). If this was just about smut filtering, well, there's only one way to test that. Unless the software provider had test URLs, that is.

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Idiot millennials are saving credit card PINs on their mobile phones

Sir Sham Cad
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Re: And pre-Millienials were tech savants?

I think the main issue here is that this generation always had this technology around them. They're comfortable with it and generally trust it. It's not that they're not tech-savvy they're just tech-complacent.

If the phone/tablet etc... has a password/lock that encrypts the data then that's still a lot better than the post-it-note-in-the-wallet scenario. It's still a bad thing to do but it's less worse than the low tech version.

Also:

"ten grand of student debt"

First year students only then?

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Linux command line mistake 'nukes web boss'S biz'

Sir Sham Cad
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Fake but plausible

Way back in the late 90's I interviewed for a webmaster post at a web hosting company, the name of which will be withheld to protect the guilty. I asked where the web servers were physically located and how we physically accessed them if needed.

They pointed to a single SGI workstation sat on a table and told me that was the web server. Running all of their clients web sites.

They neither offered, nor was I inclined to accept the job.

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French thrash Brits, Germans and Portuguese in IT innovation

Sir Sham Cad
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Re: El Reg Drinking Game

I haven't playtested this because I want to live but here goes:

take 1 drink for:

DevOps

Cloud

Someone or thing goes TITSUP

Boffin

Yahoo!Exclamation!Marks! (one for each)

take 2 drinks for:

Someone actually responds to an El Reg followup question (3 if it's Apple)

A commentard asks for the IT angle in a Bootnotes article

We get a LOHAN update

finish your pint and get another one for:

Friday BOFH

The FAA sort themselves out and approve the LOHAN mission

Anytime SpaceX do something cool

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Sir Sham Cad
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El Reg Drinking Game

That's it. I'm going to come up with rules for an El Reg drinking game. Starting with

1) Take a drink every time you see the word DevOps

followed by

2) Take two drinks if an organisation responds to questions asked of it by El Reg

3) Down in one if it's Apple

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Vaizey: Legal right to internet access, sure. But I'm NOT gonna die on the 10Mbps hill

Sir Sham Cad
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Re: Phsyical line: 780/200, with a throughput of .3mbps

TalkTalk? That's about the service (such as it deserves the name) they had nobbled me down to before I told them to stick it up their chuff. That was in South London on the same line I had previously had between 5 and 8mbps. It was obvious they'd throttled it and were calling it an acceptable speed.

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Lauri Love backdoor forced-decryption case goes to court in UK

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Re: I have forgotten

Unfortunately that's not how RIPA2000 works. You'd need to prove that you've forgotten. You'd need to prove that you do not have something that does not exist in a physical form.

The nearest I can find in the Act section 49 is this:

"2)If any person with the appropriate permission under Schedule 2 believes, on reasonable grounds—

(a)that a key to the protected information is in the possession of any person,"

I.E. if the rozzers think you can remember it you'd need to prove in court that you didn't. Good luck with that.

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Spear phishers target gullible Brits more than anyone else – survey

Sir Sham Cad
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top tips from Symantec on improving security,

The most important of which, "don't use Symantec products", is probably missing.

As with all these things, the best defence is user education.

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Graphene solar panels harvest energy from rain

Sir Sham Cad
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Re: local golf courses have been partially closed

So it's not all bad then.

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British booter bandit walks free after pleading guilty to malware sales

Sir Sham Cad
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That sentence

Almost certainly explained by the guilty plea and this little snippet which basically means he's chucked all his customers under the bus:

"He had, according to prosecutors, 12,800 registered users, of which 4,000 purchased DDoS services and carried out 603,499 attacks."

So the arsehole gets a slap on the wrist and CPS get 12,800 more leads. Bearing in mind at least 4K of those can be directly traced to actually carrying out a shitload of attacks and someone's getting a performance related pay rise at the CPS*.

*No I have no idea if this is even a thing so they're probably not.

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Saturn spacecraft immune to mysterious Planet 9's charms

Sir Sham Cad
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Re: why Pluto "haters"?

Aside from the OP having tongue firmly in cheek with that comment, it references some of the popular outpouring of scornful disbelief at the time that Scientists could demot^W reclassify the Solar System object that had been known as the Planet Pluto all their lives to something less than a "full" planetary status for any other reasons than Pluto must have once kicked someone's cat.

As if that particular lump of space rock and ice actually cares what a bunch of overeducated apes at least 2.7 billlion miles away call it.

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