* Posts by Sir Sham Cad

293 posts • joined 15 Jun 2009

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Pick a superior Christmas No. 1 from El Reg's computer crooning compilation

Sir Sham Cad

also check out

Anything by Dual Core but I'm enjoying Hack All The Things immensely

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Apple v BBC: Fruity firm hits back over Panorama drama

Sir Sham Cad

Re: What will Rory do now...

Get all his iStuff news from Stephen Fry, obviously. What could possibly go wrong?

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Welsh council rapped for covert spying on sick leave worker

Sir Sham Cad

Re: perception

"misuse of sick leave in the public service is perceived as high by many people."

ARGH! Not this bullshit again! X is perceived as being Y therefore X must = Y.

NO! A perception from people who are far removed from the situation on the ground is no more than vague, if not baseless speculation and can FUCK RIGHT OFF!

It sounds to me as if the employee had scheduled meetings with HR/Occ Health for interim assessments (just as I had when off work with stress years ago) and some paranoid knobend heard some 3rd hand hearsay and decided 2+2=735247402 for large values of "2" and "perceived" that she was trying to get out of the assessments which means she must be hiding something, OMG it's all true I'm so right she's on the fiddle argh get me inch high private eye and a bottle of scotch fo rmy nerves!

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India's heavy launch rocket passes flight test

Sir Sham Cad

Re: At last a British funded rocket takes off

If India starts caning in the space business money the boost to the economy will mean a lot less starving poor. Better that than the same number or more poor who occasionally don't starve because they get given a bag of rice occasionally.

Are you Farage in disguise?

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Kiwi hacker 'menace' pops home detention tracker cuffs

Sir Sham Cad

Re: err

And now he's guaranteed that, should he ever be convicted of anything, he'll never be given ankle monitors.

Seriously, guys like this should be on the books of .gov agencies, especially Law Enforcement, to test these systems to failure before they're used in anger to monitor the whereabouts of potentially dangerous crims on licence.

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Woz moves to Oz

Sir Sham Cad

Re: Apple trees gone

I'm surprised the locals haven't turned it into a massive booze making economy. Surely there's a market for Australian Cider?

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New fear: ISIS killers use 'digital AK-47' malware to hunt victims

Sir Sham Cad

Re: already have a target in mind

According to the article they sort of do have targets in mind. Essentially "people who don't like us on the Internet who might be reasonably local" but who could be anywhere, really.

The idea of trying to get the IP address of these targets is to narrow down the possible places they could be in meatspace because they don't really know who they are or where they are beforehand.

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Android gives Google a search monopoly? Not so fast, says judge

Sir Sham Cad

Search App?

How many people who may not know how to download another search app are also the kind of people to use a built in search app rather than just open a web browser session and type in the search engine of choice (which will likely be google anyway, we all know that)?

I have more of an issue with the default bundled browser, to be honest, and that's the same for everyone whether Apple, Amazon, Android or Firefox OS.

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Soon EVERYONE will be doing it with a strap-on: The Reg's 20 festive wearables

Sir Sham Cad

Re: Moto 360

I get about 36 hours of battery life out of mine and I use it a lot. It's possible you had a dodgy one.

I know there was a software update back in October, I think, 4.4W.2, which improved the battery life, but not to the extent of adding 30 hours!

On another note, I'm not so sure the Moto 360 does altogether stop monitoring heart rate as the Moto Fit application (not sure if this is unique to using Motorola Connect as I pair it with a Moto G 4G) and I'm sure there was a built in app before Moto Connect updated it to that, checks for X minutes (default was 30 minutes) of elevated heart rate activity. Not sure how it would determine that without constantly monitoring.

I know what you mean about talking to the watch but, like other embarrasing activities, I only do it in private or to show off.

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Friday: SpaceX will attempt to land rocket on floating, robotic 'spaceport drone ship'

Sir Sham Cad

Re: being totally honest

I actually think they are. SpaceX are very up front about the fact that their USP is that they're trying stuff nobody else is thinking about doing. Up front that it's all very early stage (no pun intended) stuff.

For me, the successes they've had so far are remarkable, even given the science and engineering expertise behind it. It's refreshing that SpaceX are not getting carried away with the success they've had (and they obviously have faith in their designs and engineering to be a) trying this stuff and b) telling everyone they're trying it) and are still modest enough to say that, yeah, this may work, it may not, but it'll be cool if it does.

Maybe I'm just incapable of being a cynic when I see people genuinely trying to innovate in the Space industry.

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URL LOL: Delta splats web flight boarding pass snoop bug

Sir Sham Cad

Security is a top priority for Delta

Honest, we're, like, totes into securidee, yeah, it's awesome whatever it is.

"there has been no impact to flight safety"

We've gotten away with it so far

"at this time we are not aware of any compromised customer accounts"

In fact we're not aware of anything at all, lalalala.

"We routinely monitor and perform analysis of data to ensure privacy for our customers"

We looked at some numbers really hard, didn't find anything becuase we were looking in the wrong place, ignored it when we were informed of a privacy breach and needed a whistleblower to go full disclosure to make us actually do anything at all about it. Delta Airlines. Ensuring privacy for our customers by having security as a top priority.

FFS.

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ESA: Venus probe doomed to fiery death on weird planet's surface

Sir Sham Cad

6.5 minutes

Given that the Venus Express was measuring for just 9 out of those 16 years, could some of the discrepancy be down to inaccuracies in the earlier missions' equipment? Or is this extrapolating backwards from just the measurements from VE?

The article reads as if it's the former, in which case my sceptical hat needs a run-out.

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American bacon cured with AR-15 assault rifle

Sir Sham Cad

Re: why do lots of British people prefer Danish bacon?

Years and years of clever branding convincing impressionable people that Danish==Premium Product and !Danish==crap.

It's only recently that I've seen any kind of range of bacon in supermarkets here that's not Danish Rindless Smoked Back, Danish Rindless Unsmoked Back, Supermarket own brand RSB and RUB or Supermarket Streaky. The Supermarket own brand usually has a Union Flag on the packet to let you know that the label was made in the UK.

We still apparently drink a lot of that Carlsberg Horsepiss which needs to be expunged from existence and replaced with the Export which is actually a pleasant lager. Again it's availability not quality.

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NY premiere of The Interview cancelled after hackers' terrorist threats

Sir Sham Cad

Re: story un-folding in the press

And the story unfolding in the media has a hell of a lot less Seth Rogen in it which automatically makes it better.

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El Reg's mighty rocket spaceplane Vulture 2 arrives in US of A

Sir Sham Cad

Re: Beers in Colorado

Mmmm, American IPA. Yum.

I've just googled Green Chili Cheese Fries, though, it couldn't look much wronger! It would need copious amounts of IPA before I'd consider that as a post-pub nosh option. Tomatoes should be red and cheese should be blue.

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HUMAN HAIR will soon be FOUND on MOON: Brit 'nauts aim for SPAAAACE

Sir Sham Cad

Yay

I support any project which aims at getting us back to the moon, especially if there's British involvement. I'm still sore that we shitcanned Blue Streak.

If gimmicks like "we'll put your hair on another celestial body" are what's needed to get it funded, so be it.

I do wish "Because it's worth doing" was enough, though.

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Microsoft opens smiley-kids jangly guitar doc-maker to all

Sir Sham Cad

Nope. I'm too thick to get it

Aside from the fact that the name itself tells me absolutely nothing about what the software is for, I just can't see what this is supposed to help me create.

Content aggregation, in a document, that I can share via the web.

Sounds like a web site to me.

WTF is a "Sway" and why would I want one? Let alone an application to make loads of them?

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Goes like the blazes: Amazon Fire HDX 8.9 late 2014 edition

Sir Sham Cad

Access to Play Store

This frustrated me for a while with my Fire HD 7.

There are apps (such as 1 Mobile Market) that you can get and will sideload a *lot* of Play store apps including the google stuff. I used it to sideload Chromecast and Chrome.

Still a PITA, though.

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Hold the front page: Spain's anti-Google lobbyists lobby for Google News return

Sir Sham Cad

Re: Google were getting the cash

If you believe the Man From Google as quoted in the article, Google don't show ads in Google News so, no, that's not what's happening.

And Google News *does* only show snippets, not the full article. It shows a snippet then directs you to the original article on the publishers website to get the rest of the article, driving traffic to that site, which is *exactly* why they're now trying to stop Google from taking its ball and going home.

Of course, you've read the article so you know that.

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'Shadow IT' gradually sapping power and budget from CIOs

Sir Sham Cad

And they also buy the wrong thing

"It's not working! Your network/wireless/server/coffee-machine-as-a-service must be broken!"

"We spent 10K on this! It NEEDS to work!"

No, you bought a piece of shit, untested and on the promise of the sales weasel, with no clue about the infrastructure you want it to work over and that's my problem how?

We've just placed a block at Finance level, on departments buying their own [Redacted due to not being AC but see above "10K" example] kit, for instance. There are already sanity checks in place to get Central IT approval for other hardware purchases.

It still doesn't stop me being presented with a 10 year old piece of crap that's been retrofitted with an 802.11b wireless card and being asked to find out why it's not working "because we've bought 100 of them".

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Finland ditches copyright levy on digital kit, pays artists directly

Sir Sham Cad

Re: hmmm

I read it more as addressing the absurdity of it being a copyright violation if I rip my fully paid for CD to a digital format (I've not paid for the right to a digital format, only the CD media copy) and another violation again if I copy that digital format to another storage device.

This is, I think we can all agree, not unreasonable behaviour, but it is at present, Unlawful. Adding a tax to my initial CD purchase, the purchase of the device I used to rip the content and the storage device I coiped it to has the effect of removing the burden of Unlawful behaviour from the consumer.

If I buy a memory stick to put some family photos on and send to my Mum then I'm not using the stick to make otherwise Unlawful copies of copyrighted content but, sure, I'm still paying the tax.

However, because I've paid that tax, my Mum can then go and use the stick to store a copy of her favourite CD guilt free.

Not sure a blanket tax is a perfect way of dealing with this (an implicit license to unlimited copies, cross-format for personal use in copyright law probably is) but it's better than using a Collection mafia^W organisation.

Nice one, Finland.

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El Reg Redesign - leave your comment here.

Sir Sham Cad

Now I've seen the desktop site

Feedback:

Grey (mostly) axed from colour palette -

Personally I like a cleaner website so I like it

Top ad moved -

This is an improvement

Expanding section nav -

This is OK but only because th eonly thing the expanding navigation covers is the way too large image for the top story on the homepage

Fixed navbar -

OK, not really noticed any difference to be honest

Footer - more logical home for many links -

Agreed. It's a bit apologetic as a footer, though, kind of blending into the site and thereby completely hiding the "Older Stories" link from the eye. An "El Reg Red" bar instead of the thin grey dividing line would help this, I think.

Tidied up the right column - We think it is easier to navigate. -

Yes but is it me or has it also got a lot bigger, more distracting?

Pics at the top of nearly all stories - visual is good, right? -

Yes but those pics are far, far too big. They do not have to take up the full width of the content area. Smaller, left adjusted would be just fine, thanks.

Removed left column in the story page - declutter

Yes, this is good, thanks. Definite improvement.

Reduced number of “teaser” units at bottom of story page - declutter

Again, this is an improvement. less is more.

Social media buttons and tags moved - more logical places on the page

Never really used them but I do notice them more now so I'd say that's worked.

Front page headline carousel - rotating teasers, are they effective? Let's A/B test.

This is my biggest gripe. I used this all the bloody time. Go to El Reg, first thing I see is the rotating story carousel at the top, something catches my eye and I click. I also used it to navigate so I didn't have to hunt down the page for the story. The ginormous top story picture is a piss poor substitute.

Removed tabs and content buttons - tried to make content accessible.-

No comment to make as I've never used them but accessible is good I suppose.

Feature removed - most commented - will be unpopular with some - but ignored / unused by vast majority. We aim to rethink this feature - but at a later date.

I'm one of the vast majority (yay individualism!) so don't care.

Feature removed print article - not used - This is not cming back

No loss from my perspective.

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Sir Sham Cad

Re: auto-detect mobile

Chrome on android 4.4.4 but every time I browse El Reg including this visit I get auto redirect to m.theregister.co.uk so not sure what's happening to everyone who is experiencing the opposite.

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Spanish scraper scrapped: Google axes Google News

Sir Sham Cad

Just out of interest, do you know who sets the fee? Is it the publisher themselves, so they could set a notional fee of, say, 0.0001 Euro per article or is there a fixed fee imposed by CEDRO, who obviously have a vested interest in a minimum set fee as they want their cut?

I have a suspicion I already know the answer.

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Lawmakers should grab red pen and let it RIPA on snoops law – experts

Sir Sham Cad

Dear UK Parliament circa Feb 2000

We. Fucking. Told. You. So.

But oh, no, you didn't listen. You knew better than we did and I still have the House Of Commons headed letter where you said exactly that to prove it.

Dear UK Parliament circa Dec 2014:

Burn it to the ground and start again. You can't change some of the words, put a lick of paint on it and make it all OK. The whole foundations are flawed and when The Law Society are saying it's wrong then it's very, very wrong. From a Legal System perspective. That should be an automatic Act Of Parliament MOT Fail.

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Google+ to offer 'infinite' gender identity options

Sir Sham Cad

Re: allowing other options is pointless

You wouldn't want to be able to tell Google that you wish your personal gender to be referred to as "Cock Warrior" or "High Womb Priestess of Ovaria"? It'd at least make the adverts interesting when you opened your Gmail at work!

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Car-crash IT: HUGE write-off for Universal Credit - PAC

Sir Sham Cad

Re: Of course it's not a shambles.

I'm fairly sure you can't just call something a "shambles" in politics now. It needs a snappy descriptor such as "Omnishambles", "Quasishambles", "Hemidemisemishables" or "Babyshambles" or such.

So I guess he's right.

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'I don't NEED to pay' to watch football, thunders EU digi-czar

Sir Sham Cad

Re: the consumer should be free to buy what we want from anywhere in the EU

We are.

That's the whole point of free movement of goods across the EU.

Nabbed from the European Commission Website:

"One of the “four freedoms” of the Single Market is the free movement of goods. Member States may restrict the free movement of goods only in exceptional cases, for example when there is a risk resulting from issues such as public health, environment, or consumer protection."

If you followed the link at the bottom of the article, it's this EU law that scuppered the conviction of the Pub Landlady and opened up the floodgates for every pub in the land to have Irish Setanta Sports for the 3pm Premier League games that Sky and BT Sports cannot show. Simply speaking, it is illegal to stop Setanta Ireland (and Sky Italia etc...) from selling their product wherever the hell they want in the EU.

What The Robot is actually saying is "I bought the rights to this content in Estonia from $TVCompany* that means, if $TVCompany want to provide me the goods, in this case a subscription, in Belgium, they're entitled to by law."

* Yes this still applies if it's a State owned or tax funded TV Company. Over here the BBC sell me the content by way of the TV License, even if it's a non-negotiable TV Tax levied in law.

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South Londoner wins Reddit MILLIONAIRE not-a-lottery lottery

Sir Sham Cad

Re: A million bucks won't go as far as you might think...

I am not an Accountant but if this can be classed as winnings on a game then AFAIK it's tax-exempt.

Nor am I a Landshark but if the rules were clear, along the lines of "If you post on this subreddit you agree to be considered as the recipient of the prize or as a donator should you not be picked" then I'd say posting on the SR constitutes joining a game rather than soliciting payment.

The issue there is how this then falls foul (or not) of the US Internet Gambling laws.

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NXT: The first SPAAAACE cryptocurrency

Sir Sham Cad

Acceptable Receptacle

I like how the Playmonaut is quaffing his champagne from a finely crafted LOHAN mug. Or is it Shax's LOHAN V2 mead?

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Dark side of the DUNE: Probot snaps shadowy comet surface selfie

Sir Sham Cad

Re: Is it just me...

It looks nothing like Piers Morgan!

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Why did men evolve map-reading skills? They were PAID BY BONK - study

Sir Sham Cad

In my personal experience

Not asking for directions is very likely to lead to a rapid decrease in mating opportunities, especially if it means she's running late.

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My HOUSE used to be a PUB: How to save the UK high street

Sir Sham Cad

Pubs flats Tesco planning permission etc...

Down my way my local pub had changed hands a few times on short leases but the level of custom, despite the pub being popular, couldn't pay the stupidly high rent the pubco demanded hence it kept shutting and reopening under new management. Eventually the last lot (Antic) chose not to renew their short lease and the pubco flogged the freehold on what is quite a large building with a decent amount of land for a London boozer. Developers bought it, stripped it and boarded it up and left it empty. The reason was that, in order to get a change of use they needed to leave it unused as a pub for 2 years.

Pub a little further down the road, same council, shut down by the beak and was a Tesco Express within a month.

Now I'm not wise in the ways of change of use planning permission so it's very possible that it's easier to get COU from pub to retail than pub to residential and I'm thankful for small mercies that it's not going to be a bloody supermarket but a large, prominent building in the area is going to remain derelict for another year at least. I'd rather see it used for something.

Of course I'd rather see it used as a pub and if the pubco didn't set insane leases on a place that only made moderate turnover it'd still be there but that's another rant altogether.

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Lenovo completes Motorola purchase for $2.9bn – $10bn less than Google paid for it

Sir Sham Cad

Re: a brand that has excellent recognition in the US and Europe

I'm pretty sure that everyone was going nuts over the Motorola RAZR a few years back. Certainly in mobile phones they have an awareness (though less so in the post iPhone smartphone world).

Admittedly I'll struggle to name anything else they make apart from mobile phones, the smartwatch I've just blown my bunce money on and heavy duty police radios but at the moment that's probably enough for them to market with.

Whether it's enough to compete with Apple/Samsung for mobile device market share is a different kettle of surprisingly intelligent fish.

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NHS quango fatcats spend £2m tax dosh on iPads and iPhones

Sir Sham Cad

Android

How much did they spend on equivalent Android devices?

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PEAK APPLE: iOS 8 is least popular Cupertino mobile OS in all of HUMAN HISTORY

Sir Sham Cad

Re: Still refusing to admit

My understanding is that the download itself isn't that big but the upgrade process does stuff to your media files that requires up to 5Gb free as it shuffles them about. My fanboi colleague isn't upgrading yet because of that. Oh and there are some bugs that we've found that need squashing.

Give it a few more releases and I reckon most people who can will have upgraded.

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Apple spent just ONE DOLLAR beefing up the latest iPad Air 2

Sir Sham Cad

RE: then you know what to do.

Buy the 10.5 inch Galaxy Tab S and spend the rest of the dosh on beer.

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HUGE SHARK as big as a WWII SUBMARINE died out, allowing whales to exist

Sir Sham Cad

Comparatively poorly armed

Those 7 inch teeth weren't just to give it a pretty smile, you know.

Evolving two ton depth charges so it could dynamite* all the dinner it wanted would just be unfair.

*yes I know depth charges didn't use dynamite. Shut up.

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APPLE support doc CONFIRMS 'ORGANIZED NETWORK ATTACKS'

Sir Sham Cad

"The iCloud website is protected with a digital certificate"

Oh, well that's all right then. Carry on!

Fucking *what*?

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How to get $542m from Google: Dress as a SPACEMAN with dayglo dancers – Magic Leap

Sir Sham Cad

Augmented Reality

i.e. superimposing adverts or advertising text as "supplementary content" when wearing your Google Glass or GoogleVR headset to watch movies or play games.

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Ex-US Navy fighter pilot MIT prof: Drones beat humans - I should know

Sir Sham Cad

"so that the car knows the human is not a reliable input.”

ARGH! The machine decides that the nominal human operator is not a reliable operator and...

1) Continues doing whatever it was doing ignoring human override controls?

2) Displays some sort of confirmation dialogue upon receiving an override request?

3) Decides to come to a safe stop at the next suitable lay-by or parking area and then plays speed metal on max volume to wake the useless fleshbag the fuck up?

4) Mitigate (or offer to mitigate) the human's erroneous request "If you're going to go through with this, may I suggest you permit me to activate the Turbo Boost?"

5) Decides all of humanity is a waste of oxygen that could be better used for running smart vehicles and goes on a Stephen King inspired murderous rampage?

Has anyone asked Captain Cyborg what he thinks? (please don't).

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Gaming gasm UK: Rubbing shoulders with LEGENDS and newbies

Sir Sham Cad

Four Quarters Peckham

From the linked website:

"then we have classics like Outrun, Point Blank and Tron"

Also they sell Thornbridge Jaipur.

Thank you Ms Orr, thank you thank you thank you.

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Stray positrons caught on ISS hint at DARK MATTER source

Sir Sham Cad

Re: evidence of anti-matter

Erm, it's a bit more than that. positrons *are* antimatter. They are the antiparticle of the electron and will annihilate if they collide with one. Antimatter (more correctly Antiparticles) don't need any more evidence of existence, they're an actual thing.

Where the ambiguity comes in is that an assumption has been made (from the article which I'm sure you've read) "it is assumed they are created when dark matter particles collide and annihilate each other." and so this assumption is leaned upon as explanation for the larger than expected number of positrons. So, the confidence in these extra observed positrons signalling extra dark matter collisions hinges entirely on the confidence of the central assumption.

Not utter garbage at all, then, just not a high confidence conclusion. Which, to be fair, was what the author of the article said at the end.

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It's official: LOHAN's arboreal avoidance algorithm is PANTS

Sir Sham Cad

Blimey!

My gasts are well and truly flabbered!

I was going to offer NumptyScrub some of my stickers if I won for the generous offer but Lester's played another blinder.

Thanks for all who voted and beers and cheers to the other brilliant entries!

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TROUT and EELS in SINISTER PACT to RULE the oceans

Sir Sham Cad

Re: ETA

*applause*

I was trying to go for an ETA/Wetter pun but couldn't find it so I'll leave with: eel-Qaeda

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Payment security bods: Nice pay-by-bonk (hint: NO ONE uses it) on iPhone 6, Apple

Sir Sham Cad

@Steve Davies 3

That sounds like needing to have your finger over the home button on the phone for the biometric auth at the same time you bonk your Apple Watch against the reader. Which means you've already got your hand on the phone which surely means it's easier to just bonk the phone, unless I'm really picturing this wrong.

With my bank card all I need to do (apart from having some actual money in the account) is bonk it for transactions < 20 quid so I'd expect the same convenience from the watch. Maybe the watch can select the card and is pre-authenticated for a certain amount of time with a secureID session?

As much as it pains me to say it, if nowt else FruitCo have restarted the NFC conversation.

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Roll up for El Reg's 3G/4G MONOPOLY DATA PUB CRAWL

Sir Sham Cad

Pubs

Please also provide the names of the pubs used for testing in each location so that I know which establishment to frequent when I need to maximise my beer to noise ratio and get the best connection when I need to make an urgent drink ^W, phone call when about town.

Thanks.

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Yes, but what are your plans if a DRAGON attacks?

Sir Sham Cad

Plans for dragon attack

I'd love to read the answer to that one.

"All staff are required to complete at least 50 hours of mandatory Skyrim and are prepared to deal with incidents involving Dragons, Trolls and Giants. Your council - Working Hard for You!"

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Naughty NSA was so drunk on data it forgot collection rules

Sir Sham Cad

Re: why you think URL's are content?

http://www.supermarket.com/shopping.php?username=bloggsj1975&authenticated=1&aisle=fruit&product=oranges&quantity=3

Yes it's a shit way of writing things but it happens.

The content is obvious. User jbloggs1975 bought 3 oranges from supermaket.com

What it is not (simply address info): Anonymous person from IP address aaa.bbb.ccc.ddd went to www.supermarket.com and accessed their online shopping section.

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Vulture 2 strapped to speeding van before delicate brain surgery

Sir Sham Cad

It's completely PANTS

Pixhawk Avoidance of Nearby Tree System

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