* Posts by Sir Sham Cad

467 posts • joined 15 Jun 2009

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Nanoparticle boffinry could boost battery life

Sir Sham Cad
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observe hydrogen atoms moving in real time.

Erm, holy shit, science! Bearing in mind atoms don't get any smaller that's an astonishing achievement.

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First rocket finally departs Russia's Vostochny cosmodrome

Sir Sham Cad
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Re: Trees

The trees are there so any payloads that return to earth know where to land.

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Ex-Apple gurus' elusive Android phone coming to UK next month

Sir Sham Cad
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Re: quick bit of maths

Christ, and I thought I was procrastinating!

Thanks AlBailey, appreciate your work. So it's basically the same size as my S4 (although without the resolution). Personally I think that's a nice size.

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Sir Sham Cad
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Screen size?

Until I saw the curved bottom (oo-er) this reminded me very much of the old Nokia Lumia in design. I actually like it though not sure about CGM.

Only thing I couldn't see in the article was how big this hector is. Anyone know the screensize?

Yes I could google it but that would take me away from procrastinating on El Reg. Don't judge me.

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Riverbed gears up for its second IPO

Sir Sham Cad
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The possibility of being bought by the likes of Cisco

Nooooooooooooooooooooo!

The Riverbed kit I've used worked and worked well. If The Borg get hold of it they'll try to "integrate" the code with their own tin and utterly banjax it. Please continue to go it alone, Riverbed!

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Pair publishes python framework for rapid router wrecking

Sir Sham Cad
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Re: So all consumer grade routers are shit.....

If you're an IT bod then, as has been suggested, various small enterprise level routers are available through assorted online tat-bazaars.

If you're Average Consumer Person then the broadband provider should sort their shit out and provide secure, hardened routers that aren't pwnable by looking at them funny. This, of course, costs money and is outside of their core business of billing people so: "screw you ACP".

Best advice is to turn off any and all remote management features on the router, change the admin password, turn on any router level firewalls and hope for the best.

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Google discovers you assume clouds just work

Sir Sham Cad
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Re: Yes.

The main argument I've heard for migrating to cloud services is "I don't want to be responsible for this, I don't want to manage this, La La La I'm not listening, don't blame me blame AWS/Azure/Google/Delete as appropriate"

I'm way too much of a control freak over my data and services to be comfortable with this although I know that problems of scale and to some degree reliability go away. I'd want these alerts so at least I can be informed about the health of my cloud services. I really can't imagine shrugging my shoulders and telling the boss "dunno mate, it's Google innit? Nuffink I can do squire. Nope, no idea, they haven't said anyfink."

I am, however, in a minority of one and I am aware this makes me a freak.

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Windows 10 Anniversary Update draws nearer with Inky preview

Sir Sham Cad
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Re: NEVER opened the start menu

It's not often I use it but I do use it precisely because "simply mash the windows key and type a few letters" just isn't something I've got into the habit of doing. Probably entirely because I mostly use Win 7 at work and, as you point out, the Start Menu isn't utterly shit in Windows 7 so I'm used to using it as my go to. Even if only to type one of cmd, mstsc, mmc, services.msc or notepad in the "run" box.

I use win 8 on my desktop at home (not 8.1) so I'll see if your winkey+text method transforms it into something actually useable. Cheers.

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Dutch students serve up world's first 'drone café'

Sir Sham Cad
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Rule 34

Someone's going to mount a Fleshlight on one of these.

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Romania suffers Eurovision premature ejection

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And they'll still get douze points from Moldova.

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BOFH: Thermo-electric funeral

Sir Sham Cad
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as if owning IT antiquity was one of those positive character traits

Wait, what? It isn't?

Shit.

And there's nothing wrong with my 128mb USB stick made out of indestructible military grade bakelite the size of a chocolate bar.

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Sysadmin given Licence To Perve shows why you always get it in writing

Sir Sham Cad
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Decent filters have policies for different users. For actual genuine reasons we have an "Allow Porn" policy. One of the tests I am sometimes required to carry out is that the policies are being correctly applied. This usually involves going to a site, seeing that I can gain access, changing my policy and trying to access it again.

In my case I usually use something innocuous like an online gaming site (unless testing the Allow Porn, obv.). If this was just about smut filtering, well, there's only one way to test that. Unless the software provider had test URLs, that is.

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Idiot millennials are saving credit card PINs on their mobile phones

Sir Sham Cad
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Re: And pre-Millienials were tech savants?

I think the main issue here is that this generation always had this technology around them. They're comfortable with it and generally trust it. It's not that they're not tech-savvy they're just tech-complacent.

If the phone/tablet etc... has a password/lock that encrypts the data then that's still a lot better than the post-it-note-in-the-wallet scenario. It's still a bad thing to do but it's less worse than the low tech version.

Also:

"ten grand of student debt"

First year students only then?

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Linux command line mistake 'nukes web boss'S biz'

Sir Sham Cad
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Fake but plausible

Way back in the late 90's I interviewed for a webmaster post at a web hosting company, the name of which will be withheld to protect the guilty. I asked where the web servers were physically located and how we physically accessed them if needed.

They pointed to a single SGI workstation sat on a table and told me that was the web server. Running all of their clients web sites.

They neither offered, nor was I inclined to accept the job.

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French thrash Brits, Germans and Portuguese in IT innovation

Sir Sham Cad
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Re: El Reg Drinking Game

I haven't playtested this because I want to live but here goes:

take 1 drink for:

DevOps

Cloud

Someone or thing goes TITSUP

Boffin

Yahoo!Exclamation!Marks! (one for each)

take 2 drinks for:

Someone actually responds to an El Reg followup question (3 if it's Apple)

A commentard asks for the IT angle in a Bootnotes article

We get a LOHAN update

finish your pint and get another one for:

Friday BOFH

The FAA sort themselves out and approve the LOHAN mission

Anytime SpaceX do something cool

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Sir Sham Cad
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El Reg Drinking Game

That's it. I'm going to come up with rules for an El Reg drinking game. Starting with

1) Take a drink every time you see the word DevOps

followed by

2) Take two drinks if an organisation responds to questions asked of it by El Reg

3) Down in one if it's Apple

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Vaizey: Legal right to internet access, sure. But I'm NOT gonna die on the 10Mbps hill

Sir Sham Cad
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Re: Phsyical line: 780/200, with a throughput of .3mbps

TalkTalk? That's about the service (such as it deserves the name) they had nobbled me down to before I told them to stick it up their chuff. That was in South London on the same line I had previously had between 5 and 8mbps. It was obvious they'd throttled it and were calling it an acceptable speed.

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Lauri Love backdoor forced-decryption case goes to court in UK

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Re: I have forgotten

Unfortunately that's not how RIPA2000 works. You'd need to prove that you've forgotten. You'd need to prove that you do not have something that does not exist in a physical form.

The nearest I can find in the Act section 49 is this:

"2)If any person with the appropriate permission under Schedule 2 believes, on reasonable grounds—

(a)that a key to the protected information is in the possession of any person,"

I.E. if the rozzers think you can remember it you'd need to prove in court that you didn't. Good luck with that.

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Spear phishers target gullible Brits more than anyone else – survey

Sir Sham Cad
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top tips from Symantec on improving security,

The most important of which, "don't use Symantec products", is probably missing.

As with all these things, the best defence is user education.

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Graphene solar panels harvest energy from rain

Sir Sham Cad
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Re: local golf courses have been partially closed

So it's not all bad then.

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British booter bandit walks free after pleading guilty to malware sales

Sir Sham Cad
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That sentence

Almost certainly explained by the guilty plea and this little snippet which basically means he's chucked all his customers under the bus:

"He had, according to prosecutors, 12,800 registered users, of which 4,000 purchased DDoS services and carried out 603,499 attacks."

So the arsehole gets a slap on the wrist and CPS get 12,800 more leads. Bearing in mind at least 4K of those can be directly traced to actually carrying out a shitload of attacks and someone's getting a performance related pay rise at the CPS*.

*No I have no idea if this is even a thing so they're probably not.

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Saturn spacecraft immune to mysterious Planet 9's charms

Sir Sham Cad
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Re: why Pluto "haters"?

Aside from the OP having tongue firmly in cheek with that comment, it references some of the popular outpouring of scornful disbelief at the time that Scientists could demot^W reclassify the Solar System object that had been known as the Planet Pluto all their lives to something less than a "full" planetary status for any other reasons than Pluto must have once kicked someone's cat.

As if that particular lump of space rock and ice actually cares what a bunch of overeducated apes at least 2.7 billlion miles away call it.

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Three to chop off £3bn of its network in bid to woo EU over O2 merger

Sir Sham Cad
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Re: That pledge on prices...

Same here. "We're axing your old tariff (200 mins, AYCE data and unlimited texts) Looking at your usage we think our 200 mins, AYCE data and texts plan is the best fit for you."

So exactly the same plan just 7 quid a month more.

I assume, then, that they're getting their 5 years worth of price hikes in before this deal goes through.

Shit Bastards!

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Commentard April Fool decries Blighty's dodecaquid

Sir Sham Cad
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Re: A tad (just a tad) harsh

Being unable to work out if it was an April Fool's joke or not is fine and understandable despite the clues in the article itself.

Creating a commentard account just to complain, twice, that the article is still up which obviously offended their sensibilities in some as yet unknown way because there was no way that their initial assessment of the piece could possibly be wrong = Ridicule Magnet.

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Cisco, Snort scramble to plug malware hole

Sir Sham Cad
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Oh FFS!

I've just bought two Firepower enabled ASAs and they're fucked before I even rack them.

I suppose it's easier to patch during build, though, than in running, so that's something.

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EE most 'reliable' mobile provider for cities – Ofcom

Sir Sham Cad
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Re: a work of fiction

Completely. As I sit here with 0 Vodafone voice signal, Vodafone already know there are massive coverage issues here (can't give any more details for Reasons) but if they're predicting lovely green mapness here then they're clearly and knowingly telling porkies.

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Blighty's nuclear deterrent will get a software upgrade amid cyber-war fears

Sir Sham Cad
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Re: BAE Systems will carry out the upgrade

Like for example any of this lot:

https://www.cvedetails.com/vulnerability-list/vendor_id-26/product_id-739/cvssscoremin-5/cvssscoremax-5.99/Microsoft-Windows-Xp.html

Don't get me wrong, XP was streets ahead of previous Windows version for stability at the time but that time was a long, long time ago. If nothing else it doesn't support UAP so elevated priviledges is a potential worry.

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Sir Sham Cad
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BAE Systems will carry out the upgrade

Of course they will. I suspect this is why the 5 year "cyber security" spend has nearly doubled. "That's what BAE told us it would cost"

Windows for Warships terrifies me to be honest. Sure it's a military-grade hardened OS but it's still XP technology under the hood with all the issues that go with it.

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When should you bin that old mainframe? Infrastructure 101

Sir Sham Cad
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Support contracts

Very good points about support contracts. If we had a support contract for all of our user-level (edge) Cisco switches it would cost a lot more than the cost of replacing ones that go bang annually.

The more important bits, however, do need 24/7/365/4 hour cover and ye gods is that a PITA every year.

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'Planet nine' theory boosted by Kuiper Belt Object with odd orbit

Sir Sham Cad
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Re: Planet Nine?

It'll end up being called Planety McPlanetface and you know it.

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Furious English villagers force council climbdown over Satan's stone booty

Sir Sham Cad
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Re: Of course I haven't looked for any photos

A cursory Giggle brought up another article on this story. The stone, which appears to have been transported there during the last Ice Age, is in the middle of the road with ample room for a car either side. The road was built around the stone leaving a carriageway to either side in much the same way as a normal traffic island. Granted, in the dark they tend to have lit bollards denoting their location but there's no indication this accident happened in the dark.

No, this person managed to be special enough to be the first person to drive into this rock in 11,000 years and wants to get paid for their specialness.

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OK, so the users want corporate apps on the move. Don't Panic

Sir Sham Cad
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Re: Over my dead bo......but wait!

We've recently started to can our client VPN solution because it was causing more problems than you could shake a tree full of sticks at. Our users just hated it. Secure* remote access directly to our VDI environment with a 2FA token on the smartphone (sorry, not you, Microsoft) and even our difficult users are happy**.

Add in an MDM solution to securely access work email over the smartphone (bye bye Blackberry) and that covers just about all the bases.

*Shush, let me have this fantasy

**For small values of "happy" but the gruntles are not entirely absent

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Hospital servers in crosshairs of new ransomware strain

Sir Sham Cad
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Re: US or UK phenomenon?

It started out really 2014/2015 in the US according to security labs wonks that I've spoken to (and pretty pictures I've seen) but spread to the UK back end of last year.

It's now part of the everyday IT landscape where I am and looks to be the new normal.

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Sir Sham Cad
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Re: because they are healthcare

No, Healthcare is being *specifically* targeted precisely because of the important nature of the data.

I wouldn't bet on the high probability of payment, either because the criminal fuckbags behind these scams don't understand the NHS. How exactly the fuck do they expect an NHS organisation to procure Bitcoin? There is no mechanism to do so. At all.

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BMW complies with GPL by handing over i3 car code

Sir Sham Cad
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Re: lack escalation

Outsourced call centre, off-script = "we can't do that"

Having worked (a long time ago) in a BT call centre, there was a time limit on how long a call centre operative could spend on any one call (2 minutes - yes, even technical support) so if it seemed like the query was going to bust your 2 minute deadline then you needed to dump the call ASAP. I assume something similar here.

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William Hague: Brussels attacks mean we must destroy crypto ASAP

Sir Sham Cad
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Greatly reassured.

Why yes, Mr Hague, I am greatly reassured that someone who doen't even know what a fucking burner phone is took care to sign off a shitload of wiretap requests. Prick.

As has been obvious for a long time now, Intelligence agencies and Law Enforcement have more data than they can actually process which is why, after every one of these incidents, one or more of the perps was "known to the authorities" but not followed up.

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Closing courts to fling £700m at digital stand-ins will fail, MPs snarl at UK.gov

Sir Sham Cad
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Re: a pledge sometime ago

There were also pledges not to touch the NHS, to run a surplus by the end of the last Parliament, to enact new powers for Scotland etc...

The only time a politician who "pledges" something actually goes through with it is if (s)he's polishing their furniture.

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Ransomware now using disk-level encryption

Sir Sham Cad
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Personally I prefer this

Yes, knacker the PC of the idiot who decided opening that strangely named attachment from the obviously spoofed email address was a good idea so that they can't infect the network. We can always re-image the PC.

It's the other stuff that encrypts the fileshares that's the proper PITA.

Also: String these fuckers up by their genitals and stone them to death with LTO tapes.

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Amazon ports Alexa voice assistant to Raspberry Pi

Sir Sham Cad
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Alexisiritana

"Google's as-yet-free-of-anthropomorphism"

Please, please keep it this way. Voice recognition assitant software is just that. handy software. It doesn't need a name/face/emotional responses just search stuff and run recognised commands.

"Remind me it's Mum's Birthday next Friday"

"Do it yourself you lazy bastard I'm feeling Sensitive (version 2)"

Fuck all the off with that shit, seriously (Siri-ously?)

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Cosmic bonks, breakups led to birth of Saturn's moons as dinos died out

Sir Sham Cad
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Re: Cosmic shotgun...

I don't think the original design Death Stars required charging up. We see the second Death Star in RoTJ happily repeatedly blasting the shit out of rebel capital ships with the super laser.

Starkiller Base on the other hand...

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Let’s re-invent small phones! Small screens! And rubber buttons!

Sir Sham Cad
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Best smartphone/keyboard design

HTC Desire Z. Shame HTC decided to underpower it and as soon as I upgraded to Gingerbread it chose to run like a three legged dog. That was tied to a lampost. And was dead.

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Ofcom wants to crack down on pisspoor BT Openreach biz lines

Sir Sham Cad
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Re: 48 Days would be delightful

Your 6 month provision is what I tell our project people the install time is these days.

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Off to Mars this summer? Don't forget your map

Sir Sham Cad
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Re: someone went and actually measures everything

They did that in 1949.

They also did that this time by going up there and placing a GPS unit on the trig post and comparing/correcting with super res ground based GPS kit.

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Domino's trials trundling four-wheeled pizza delivery bot

Sir Sham Cad
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Also, how the hell is it going to knock on the door to let you know your nosh has arrived? SMS? We know how reliable those are.

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Telling your wife why you were fired is the only punishment

Sir Sham Cad
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Re: don't look at them.

As part of an investigation I was asked to carry out a few years ago I had to spend half a day retracing the browsing habits of an employee. A full morning of having to go through and categorise someone elses porn habits including a site that I didn't bother trying to get past the big "FBI has impounded this web page, it is a criminal offence to go any further" splash page.

If I could possibly have avoided looking at the content I would have but, you know, sometimes it's part of the job.

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Brits seek rousing name for polar research vessel

Sir Sham Cad
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Obvious suggestions are obvious

Royal connection with absolutely no drawbacks whatsoever:

Advanced Research Ship Elizabeth II

Just because I'd love to hear newsreaders pronounce it:

RRS Arraress

Because it's our favourite ice breaker:

RRS What about this weather we're having?

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LOHAN entertains the crowd at Oz Linux shindig

Sir Sham Cad
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Re: Acceptable launching area

The US wasn't by any means first choice but apparently it's the only place SPB can get the correct rocket motor without owning a licensed explosives factory. Which might be fun but is beyond the scope and certainly budget of the mission.

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TalkTalk admits losing £60m and 101,000 customers after THAT hack

Sir Sham Cad
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Free stuff

Dog shit is free but I still don't want it in my house.

I'm advising all friends and family to avoid TrashTalk like the plague even if they are cheap.

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Brit censors endure 10-hour Paint Drying movie epic

Sir Sham Cad
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Re: Would it class as an 'action' movie?

"Dry Hard" shirley.

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Brit 'naut Peake gears up for spacewalk

Sir Sham Cad
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Power regulator

Is it on the north tower?

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