* Posts by Sir Sham Cad

421 posts • joined 15 Jun 2009

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LOHAN entertains the crowd at Oz Linux shindig

Sir Sham Cad

Re: Acceptable launching area

The US wasn't by any means first choice but apparently it's the only place SPB can get the correct rocket motor without owning a licensed explosives factory. Which might be fun but is beyond the scope and certainly budget of the mission.

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TalkTalk admits losing £60m and 101,000 customers after THAT hack

Sir Sham Cad

Free stuff

Dog shit is free but I still don't want it in my house.

I'm advising all friends and family to avoid TrashTalk like the plague even if they are cheap.

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Brit censors endure 10-hour Paint Drying movie epic

Sir Sham Cad

Re: Would it class as an 'action' movie?

"Dry Hard" shirley.

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Brit 'naut Peake gears up for spacewalk

Sir Sham Cad

Power regulator

Is it on the north tower?

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David Bowie: Musician, actor... tech admirer

Sir Sham Cad

Re: too soon?

Yes.

Have an upvote.

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Lettuce-nibbling veggies menace Mother Earth

Sir Sham Cad

Re: *per calorie*

Just take a look (briefly) at this site and you'll see why this research is necessary and good and just.

http://www.chooseveg.com/environment

If this article saves just one bacon fan from the slippery slope to the bunny chow side it's worth it!

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Sir Sham Cad

Re: Possibly add an egg

I'm pretty sure it's been scientifically proven by no less an authority than Reg Commentards that the only acceptable addition to your bacon sanger is brown sauce.

Egg in a sausage* sarnie, however, is sublime.

*Cumberland for preference

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Spanish village mounts Playmobil extravaganza

Sir Sham Cad

Re: Were I of the tinfoil hat persuasion...

Are you suggesting the Plucky Playmonaut faked his death to cover up that the PARIS landing was faked in a TV studio on the moon and Ancient Playmonauts actually were around for the birth of Jesus just like in that Chris de Burgh song that was actually written by Christopher Marlowe?

I'm sold.

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Name that HPE boozer: Last orders please

Sir Sham Cad

Oh go on then.

The Rectangle and Writedown

Club Meg

HPPUHQ (HP Pissup HQ)

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Ex-GCHQ chief: Bulk access to internet comms not same as mass surveillance

Sir Sham Cad

Database Database Database Database

Database Database Database Database Database Database Database Database Database Database Database Database Database Database Database Database Database Database Database Database Database Database Database Database Database Database Database Database Database Database Database Database Database Database Database Database Database Database Database Database Database oh shit I'm probably going to jail now.

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Cash injection fuels SABRE spaceplane engine

Sir Sham Cad

Re: responsible for awarding and overseeing the contracts

The problem is that BAE don't bid fairly. Ever.

Here's what happens:

1) BAE smell fresh pork.

2) BAE remind Whitehall how many people in the UK they employ

3) "Nice jobs you have there. Shame if anything were to happen to them"

4) CONTRACT!

5) BAE smell more pork

6) "Nice Defence Project you have there. Shame if anything were to happen to it"

7) MORE PORK!

You'd need to be incredibly hard nosed to turn BAE down for an MoD contract.

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Balloon-lofted space podule hits 30,000m

Sir Sham Cad

Initial plummet control

I assume the pilot controls when the podule detaches rather than random balloon burst. Because once that initial descent begins I don't want to know what happens to the contents of the bar and lavatory durning the sudden screamy, stomach-churny death-plunge.

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Post-pub schnellnosh neckfiller: Currywurst

Sir Sham Cad

Hot Curry Powder

So, the advice from SPB is to proceed with caution if using hot curry powder. So it was that I proceeded last night with reckless abandon instead and went for it.

Here's what happened:

1) As I added the spices to the pan my eyes began to sting almost immediately.

2) As the sauce mixture began to reduce to a paste consistency I realised the kitchen would never smell the same again.

3) After decanting the reduced mixture into a mixing bowl I began to attack with a hand blender.

4) About 10 seconds into the blending there was a popping sound, puff of smoke and smell of knackered electric motor as the curry sauce had destroyed the blender.

5) I had a go with a fork until I gave up and decided chunky Currywurst was OK really.

6) With the addition of some fried Bratwurst and some Spud Wedges I served up with a Pilsner.

Verdict: Use Hot Curry Powder. It was really, really good, Lester's just being a wuss. Bring a spare blender, though.

PicsOrItDidn'tHappen:

Sauce ingredients:

https://www.anony.ws/image/JJkO

Blender-killing sauce reduction:

https://www.anony.ws/image/JJkU

Curry, Sausage (sliced, of course) and Chips:

https://www.anony.ws/image/JJkp

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After Burner: Sega’s jet-fighting, puke-inducing arcade marvel

Sir Sham Cad

Rose tinted

Maybe it was because I was 12 at the time but I loved the C64 version I had and played the everliving shit out of. I mean it didn't look like the Arcade version but it was close enough for me in my bedroom.

Them were the days.

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Post-pub nosh neckfiller: Itty-bitty pyttipanna

Sir Sham Cad

And here I was on the way to the shops

Adding Pancetta, cheap cow parts and sausage to the list. Maybe use pickled silverskin onions instead of beetroot. Will report back with results.

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Google Chromecast 2015: Puck-on-a-string fun ... why not, for £30?

Sir Sham Cad

Re: a single streaming box that can handle all of the content providers

And you never will. The content providers don't want to make it easier for you to use a competitor's service hence Amazon not supporting Chromecast for Amazon Prime Video, Google Play etc...

They want you to pick a side, their side, so they get your subscription and market purchases long term. We want diversity of content without needing an Amazon Fire TV, Chromecast, Apple TV, three mobile devices, four tellies and a laptop running Chrome.

I'll join your open content crusade, though.

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Sir Sham Cad

Re: Videostream

Upvoted for mentioning Videostream which is excellent for casting local content. That's now what I use my Chromecast for more often than not.

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Apple files patent for long-rumoured iRing-type bling

Sir Sham Cad

Annular Member

*snork*

Yes, I imagine that's exactly what I'd look like wearing one.

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Cisco borgs UK infosec bods

Sir Sham Cad

Trust issues

I don't like security advice from a company who sells security appliances. I can't trust them because they have a vested interest in finding nails and trying to sell me a hammer.

From the article/PR: "Together, Cisco and Portcullis will provide strategic guidance to our clients to help them..." and in my head I changed the rest to read: "... know which expensive bits of Cisco kit to buy to address any issues because you wouldn't want the auditors to find out you hadn't done anything, now, would you?"

Security Advisors/Auditors should *always* be independent from Security Solution sellers.

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FATTIES have most SUCCESS with opposite SEX! Have some pies and SCORE

Sir Sham Cad

Bullshit Measurement Idea

According to my BMI I'm just into the "Overweight" category. I'm a properly skinny bastard.

Previous studies have shown again and again that the majority of heterosexual men like women with curves. That is, after all, one of the secondary sexual characteristics of females. It follows that, in order to have curves, you'll need to be well toward the top end of "overweight" or higher.

Likewise, when I enrolled at my local GP, the nurse took the usual measurements of heigh, weight etc... and scored my BMI. Looking at me in nothing but my tasteful superhero underpants she told me to ignore it because "muscle weighs more than fat". I'm not a gym nut. I'm a skinny nerd. If I'm BMI "overweight" then a bigger (or even normal size) healthy bloke who takes care of himself is certainly going to be well into the "overweight" category according to the Bullshit Measurement Idea.

So to summarise this study: BMI calls healthy, attractive people "obese" because it's a load of fucking bollocks that should have been thrown out long ago.

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Blood-crazy climate mosquitoes set to ground Santa's reindeer

Sir Sham Cad

No surprise

Reindeer is fucking delicious!

Mosquitos with excellent taste.

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Arizona lads recover epic stratovid – two years after launch

Sir Sham Cad

Re: Huh?

Simple.

There's no straighforward route to take in order to retrieve the phone even though it's only 50 miles away from launch point as the balloon flies.

The balloon and payload can fly. The humans on the other hand, are stuck using roads.

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Post-pub nosh neckfiller: Fancy a ham and cheese 'dry tree trunk' sarnie?

Sir Sham Cad

Made this one last night

Looking again at the size of the steak in the pictures in the article and the ones I used last night, I think I may have seriously gone overboard. Took up a whole plate in length and was a good 0.4 linguine thick. I don't have a meat hammer so fists did the job instead (always wash hands after handling raw meat, friends) and I had to use a different dry cured ham.

I used blue cheese for added naughtiness and I have to say it was bloody fantastic.

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IoT/BYOD Topic of the Week: Which Channel 5 news minx was HOTTEST?

Sir Sham Cad

Re: can't get past question 1

msknight, if you are having trouble answering question 1 then I can offer you assistance in selecting the "correct" answer.

Vote for Natasha.

Then vote for the male newsreaders poll. Although Bill Turnbull will win that one, obviously.

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You CAN'T jail online pirates for 10 years, legal eagles tell UK govt

Sir Sham Cad

Re: Trebles and directorships all round.

You also missed "Generous donation to the Party coffers".

After all once you've got Your Man in government you want to keep him there at least until he's done everything you're payin^W lobbying him to do.

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GIGANTIC galaxy-chomping black hole rips boffins a new one

Sir Sham Cad

Re: haven't got a clue

How do you think Science works?

We don't know something so we come up with a testable (falsifiable) hypothesis to suggest a mechanism for what we observe happening to happen. Through observation we test the hypothesis. If it seems to fit, we have a theory for how the happening happens. If not we bin it and try again. Then we observe an outlier case that challenges our theory so we come up with a falsifiable hypothesis/refinement to the theory to take into account the new observation and then we test it again. If it then fits the current cases we know about including the new outlier data we consider the theory updated and improved if it passes peer review and others are able to repeat the test with the same results. If, as is likely, in the case that in the repeat of the test, often with better equipment, we see something else curious that doesn't seem to be explained by the current, updated theory, we go again. Eventually we end up with a theory/model that very accurately explains and predicts natural phenomena.

"Making it up as you go along" is the magical thinking usually reserved for spiritual or supernatural realms of human consideration that are, by definition, outside the scope of Science.

"Starting from first principles" is the logical thinking that is part of the scientific method of starting investigating a phenomena when you haven't got a clue. And it works!

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Mozilla testing very private browsing mode

Sir Sham Cad

Performance issues

I'm actually pretty good at just ignoring any advert that gets shoved in front of my browser-watching face (and I don't begrudge site owners taking money from advertisers who can't suss out that I don't need two microwave ovens) but my ancient laptop at home with a Celeron processor from Ye Olde Intelle circa 1753 (well, 2004) that tries to render this shit in the browser and run the browser session (quaint ideas like scrolling) cannot ignore it. Facebook I'm looking at you.

Yes, ABP, NoScript etc... would help but that still requires my vastly underpowered machine to run those plugins. If I could get that functionality in the browser session only I'd be a happy man. The additional benefit of making it harder for Zuckooglezon to track my every search term is a very welcome but secondary consideration.

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'Marshmallow' picked as moniker for Android 6.0

Sir Sham Cad

Commercial deal fell through then?

They could have had Mars Bar, Malteasers or Milky Way just by talking to one company.

Unless the KitKat deal came with a no-compete clause from Nestle.

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Flying Spaghetti Monster spotted off Angolan coast

Sir Sham Cad

Re: 20,000 tonnes of crude

It's OK. They can just siphonophore it off.

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Oracle pulls CSO's BONKERS anti-bug bounty and infosec rant

Sir Sham Cad

Re: entire culture at Oracle is abusive

Oracle as a company are just fucking disgusting, to be honest.

Not necessarily to do with anything in the article, either. I just can't stand their corporate practice. This threatening behaviour and ostrich approach to infosec is just one more shit cherry on the turd cake of Corporate Oracle, for me.

In other news: I don't like Oracle very much.

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What a shower: METEORS will BLAZE a FIERY TRAIL across our skies

Sir Sham Cad

Weather

According to the always reliable, never wrong, BBC weather website the skies (here in the south east anyway) are clearing between 9pm and 11-ish pm tomorrow night so if I can just find somewhere locally in the wide open spaces of South London with low light pollution... fuck it, I've got no chance have I?

May as well go to the pub and see if I can see any on the stagger home at kicking out time.

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Jail incompetent council folk who leak our data, thunders furious BBW

Sir Sham Cad

Re: Failure at all levels.

>IT not securing networks and equipment when they have the tools to do it,

Assuming that IT have been given any budget for security from the finance lot especially as budgets are being slashed. Also assuming the IT department has been able to recruit/retain sufficiently knowledgable staff and hasn't been outsourced to the cleaning company as it's just a "cost centre".

Why yes, my grapes are especially sour this morning.

>Users not understanding how to handle data,

This in spades. Also users who don't bother with or care about any Information Governance training they may be given because "that's an IT thing, I don't need to worry about it *switches brain off*"

>Local auditor not doing any checks on how data is handled

Yes and, especially if the powers that be are aware of the previous point (Users) they won't be encouraged to do so.

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Wait, what? TrueCrypt 'decrypted' by FBI to nail doc-stealing sysadmin

Sir Sham Cad

Re: @Credas

Voila. Proof-by-xkcd (pretty sure that's a genuine methodology):

https://xkcd.com/936/

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The Q7: Audi’s big SUV goes from tosspot to tip-top

Sir Sham Cad

Re: Top Gear insult on its head

"How's your Skoda Yeti?"

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Virgin Galactic SpaceShipTwo crackup verdict: PILOT ERROR

Sir Sham Cad

Re: There's something missing here.

Reading between the lines it seems that the less experienced co-pilot wasn't trained by Scaled Composites in what would happen if he did unlock the shuttlecock booms during that phase of flight.

It may be he thought that he was just unlocking them ready to be deployed later, not that this would actually deploy them with the atmospheric drag under rocket power. It may be that he didn't know that deploying the booms under rocket propulsion could cause structural failure. Probably both.

This bit: "Virgin Galactic has added an inhibitor so its feather locks cannot be unlocked in certain conditions." suggests that either Scaled didn't know that structural failure was a possibility or didn't think that the humans on board unlocking the feathers at the wrong time was a possibility. This part: "[Scaled] identified that it did not have human factor expertise" suggests the latter.

If that's the case then the blame lies squarely with SC who obviously didn't know what they were doing. Which, when you're doing something for the first time is understandable I suppose. That said, a brave test pilot is dead and another badly injured because someone greenlit the flight without sufficient sanity checks.

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Marshall wants to turn your phone UP TO ELEVEN

Sir Sham Cad

Re: Especially as the amp's main benefit to humans is distortion

Then I humbly suggest you're doing it wrong.

Distortion, among other effects should be done away from the amp, in an effects board or pedals, and that sound fed into the amp which if it's any good, will replicate faithfully with clarity, presence and loudness. Much, much loudness. If the amp is clipping at high gain either it's a poo amp or you're poo at using it.

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The Great Barrier Relief – Inside London's heavy metal and concrete defence act

Sir Sham Cad

And when you've finished

Carry on west up the Thames Path a short way and have a pint in the Hope and Anchor pub. Good beer and they were child friendly last time I was there (disclosure: fecking years ago) Then continue west and have another pint at the Pilot Inn.

This area has been massively developed since I lived down that way so the Pilot gets very busy but that was a classic Saturday walk.

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Natural geothermal heat under Antarctic ice: 'Surprisingly HIGH'

Sir Sham Cad

Re: I'm just waiting for..

But it is! Fracking is so insidious that the terrible effects travel backwards in time like an ecological Terminator to cause environmental disaster before any fracking took place! Sumatran earthquake in 2004? All because some fucker decided to frack for shale gas in Yorkshire in 2016.

Mark my words, it'll all be true!

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Mighty CHASMS, craters FOUND ON MOON of Pluto

Sir Sham Cad

Re: Circular, dark

No no no. Everyone* knows that you don't pay the ferryman.

*Chris de Burgh

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ALIEN SLIME SHOCKER: Approaching comet probably NOT inhabited, say boffins

Sir Sham Cad

Re: don't go insulting Captain Cyborg

Why not? It's a fun sport.

This is the guy who makes Julian Arsewhinge look like a self-publicity amateur by running around announcing The Singularity Is Coming! The Singularity Is Coming! because he's stuck an RFID chip under his skin and it's readable leaving many pet owners wondering whether or not this means Rover and Kitty are now actually Dr Who villans.

I know he brings in good money and PR coverage to the department and there's some actual research in there somewhere but christ he's an annoying, attention-seeking nobber who is the public science equivalent of the Cillit Bang bloke.

Of course he's already read this comment with the Raspberry Pi he's sewn into his arse cheeks and will doubtless be sending his army of RFID chipped dogs and cats to murder me as I type.

See? Fun!

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Sir Sham Cad

Re: So basically

That was exactly my take on it as well.

Unlike this guy, who I hope has this on his business card:

"Dr Matt Taylor, Death Metal physicist"

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Behold the mighty Swiss SPACE JUNK NOSHER PODULE

Sir Sham Cad

Re: Didn't Hugo Drax

That was Blofeld, capturing Soviet and American manned capsules in order to get them to FIGHT!*

You Only Live Twice was my favourite Bond film until Goldeneye.

Drax had his own Shuttles. With frickin' lasers.

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Dormant ALIEN SLIME LIFE frozen in SPEEDING comet will AWAKEN - boffins

Sir Sham Cad

Re: microbes (for which there is *no evidence*)

*ahem* From the article:

"Dr Max Wallace and Professor Chandra Wickramasinghe say that data from the Rosetta probe now in orbit about the comet and the small lander Philae deployed to its surface support their theory"

What evidence that is, from the article on the RAS site, appears to be the following:

"Wallis and Wickramasinghe cite further evidence for life in the detection by Philae of abundant complex organic molecules on the surface of the comet and in the infrared images taken by Rosetta."

Not smoking gun proof but hell, they're doing science - On. A. Comet.

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Vale Matti Makkonen, SMS dreamer

Sir Sham Cad

Re: text messages with far more than 160 characters.

You know that that's not one SMS message don't you? The longer message is fragmented into several seperate SMS messages in transit and then reassembled into one message by the receiving device.

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Goodbye Vulcan: Blighty's nuclear bomber retires for the last time

Sir Sham Cad

Re: A "Pocket" Bomber

They have one in the bomber hangar at the RAF Museum in Hendon, north London. You only realise how big it is when you've spent half an hour in the hangar and realise you're still under its wing.

It may not have the biggest payload but the sheer surface of wing is fricking enormous.

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10 things you need to avoid SNAFUs in your data centre

Sir Sham Cad

Re: not supposed to insert the plugs there.

Been tempted on many occasions to inset the plugs in that very location of the idiot who shipped us kit with the wrong bastard power cables.

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Sir Sham Cad

Re: US-style plugs on the cables

I have been saved on many an occasion by having some spare C15 female - C16 male power cables left over from a UPS refresh project. We've got tons of old C15 kettle leads about so with the cunning combination of the two plus some electrical tape = my 3750-X can now be switched on despite the worst intentions of the tin distributor.

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Philae warms up nicely, sends home second burst of data

Sir Sham Cad

Re: Bounce @Charlie Clark

The main strategy to mitigate bouncing was the harpoon system that was going to be fired into the comet. Due to the lack of gravity and Newton's pesky Third Law, Philae had a thruster designed to combat the push-back effect of the harpoon hitting the comet's surface. That thruster failed so no harpoon anchor could be deployed.

Another reason why the downvote-bait first comment about overengineering is complete bollocks.

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For fax's sake: Medic chaos as e-Referrals system goes offline

Sir Sham Cad

Pure speculation but...

From past experience with system migrations such as this, yes the demand would be well known. However it almost certainly also involves a change of platform so the translation of demand to back-end load isn't so well known. The usual method of back-end compute provision in my experience from these 3rd parties is they'll under resource, hope they get away with it and add more grunt if necessary later.

No, I don't know why full load testing wasn't done either.

Glad I'm not on the phones.

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Did climate change scare off vegan dinos for millions of years? 'Yes'

Sir Sham Cad

Re: run irrigation

This.

If we can get enough water to the plants we can graze animals and retain agriculture. Without the water supply you lose the plants and the rest is uncomfortable. I'd still prefer a more aspirational future for our species and the natural ecosystems but I agree, humans (in reduced numbers, obv) as a species could survive.

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