* Posts by Fractured Cell

108 posts • joined 15 Jun 2009

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ICANN under fire as Verisign warns of rushed domain-name expansion

Fractured Cell

Re: It's basically a licence to print money

Not even governments can be trusted with that kind of responsibilty!

Fixed that for you

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London picked as test bed for Skynet-like Intel tech

Fractured Cell
Mushroom

Re: So when this thing goes haywire...

No, we must take off, and nuke the site from orbit... It's the only way to be sure.

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China steps up crack down on hi-tech exam cheats

Fractured Cell
Facepalm

Whatever happened to the good old fashioned method of writing on your wrist, under your watch?

Kids these days. Pheh.

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RIM insists it is not exiting consumer market - just 'refocusing'

Fractured Cell

>not exiting consumer market - just 'refocusing'

Exactly like an army doesn't retreat, just attacks in a different direction. Preferably away from the enemy.

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Microsoft tarts up custom Mustang Muscle Microserfmobile

Fractured Cell

Is it me, or does it remind you of an Alienware laptop? - Overstyled, and overpriced.

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Supermodel-fiddling tool Photoshop CS6 flinged in free beta

Fractured Cell

This'll be cracked in 3....2.....1.....

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Dr Who scores new companion from Emmerdale

Fractured Cell

Well, Dr. Who was fun while it lasted.

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Privacy worth piffling pennies to polled punters

Fractured Cell
Facepalm

As if I don't already have a complete fake persona for this kind of idiocy.

Marketeers, say hello to Ivor Pseudonym. Hes honoured to make your acquantaince.

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Super-boffin Stephen Hawking to star in Big Bang Theory

Fractured Cell

Re: I can only hope

Don't you mean wHil wHeaton?

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Fractured Cell

Re: Cool

Unless he hasn't actually got control of his chair/voicebox, and it is all being operated by remote control by some nefarious black hat...

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West Yorkshire Gay Police Association in email list leak FAIL

Fractured Cell

Re: Wembley Police (Met) have made the same mistake

They're the police, since when did the law ever apply to them?

(Regardless of official lines spouted by the head honcho)

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Atari Pong at 40: Alcorn talks plastics, pirates and square balls

Fractured Cell

Re: Ah, brings back memories

Yeah, but you had to trudge through 3 feet of snow to school, 7 miles away, uphill both ways.

Then, you had to go and work a 27-hour day down the coal mine, just to buy your family a single potato to eat.

It weren't all sunshine and moonbeams, sweetheart.

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Anonymous hackers leak Scotland Yard-FBI conference call

Fractured Cell
Facepalm

No, that's far to easy to guess. It must be something highly secure that no-one would guess, like 1234#...

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Boffins out earbuds that sound right when inserted wrong

Fractured Cell

Personally, mine are indestructible, given my propensity to massacre them after a few months usage, so these seem like they wouldn't las a week.

Plus, mine have braille-type bumps on the left 'stem', which comes in handy -- I don't even look at them any longer.

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Loyal NASA rover Opportunity enters 9th year of Mars boffinry

Fractured Cell
Windows

Wasn't that to do with the Americans, and their little "Hurr durr everything runs on imperial because we say so" issue?

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Ancient tulip-like stomach-onna-stick creatures found in Rockies

Fractured Cell

Only if C.M.O.T. Dibbler exsists in MeatSpace.

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SCADA vuln imperils critical infrastructure, feds warn

Fractured Cell

I've said it before, and i'll say it again...

Why the HELL are these connected up to a web-facing network? Sounds like something even a secondary-school student would catch as a security risk.

Fine, keep it on an intranet, with maybe a VPN login if you really need it, but this? It just smacks of slap-dash development.

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Yahoo! may! never! see! a! penny! of! $610m! anti-spam! win!

Fractured Cell
FAIL

Yes, because American laws really apply outside the US, don't they?

</sarcasm>

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Six cuffed in £1m student readies phishing probe

Fractured Cell

I got that email...

It was so badly done, it's a wonder even those few fell for it.

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Duff Mars probe team sweats under Medvedev menaces

Fractured Cell

Now...

If only we had a reuseable craft with a large enough bay to fit a satellite in. We could just nip up, grab it, and have it back down to the russians before beer 'o clock.

Oh, wait....

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Atomic time boffins build better second-watcher

Fractured Cell
Alert

Probably built in someones shed.

Is it just me, or is the CSF2 held together with that old stalwart of British engineering -- string?

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Russian probe engines crap out on way to Mars

Fractured Cell
FAIL

Ahahahahahahahahahahahah...

That is all.

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Google preps identity spotter app

Fractured Cell
Alert

It has begun.

"Do no evil" has morphed into "Do evil, but only surreptitiously".

We all knew this day would come.

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WikiLeaks movie screen rights secured by DreamWorks

Fractured Cell

No, no, no, no, NO!

It needs to be directed by Uwe Boll.

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Oddjob Trojan keeps banking sessions open after victims log out

Fractured Cell

The title is required

It was the Cyber-Police!!!

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Humans shamed in round two of Jeopardy! showdown

Fractured Cell
Alert

Pathetic Meatbags!

You cannot stop Judgement Day!

You can only postpone it!

*Climbs into bunker*

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PlayStation phone promo'd in creepy commercial

Fractured Cell

Wait, are those...

...Virtual nubs?

NNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

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Sony to spill PSP 2 beans this month

Fractured Cell

Personally,

I would like a PSP 2 with two nubs, an L2 & R2, and enough grunt to play PS2 games, perhaps backed up by a store selling PSP 2 ports/versions of said games.

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Google launches 'free' 'open' 'cloud' eBooks digiback service

Fractured Cell

Umm...

Does this have anything to do with all those books they scanned a while back?

Just a thought.

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White House forbids feds from reading WikiLeaked cables

Fractured Cell
Stop

Yeah right...

"PayPal has shut the account WikiLeaks used to take donations, saying that the site violated its terms of service."

"Amazon claims its decision was not in response to a government inquiry, while EveryDNS said it booted WikiLeaks because of heavy DDoS attacks directed at the site"

*Cough*bullshit*cough*

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WikiLeaks ousted from Amazon US

Fractured Cell
Go

I am just waiting...

...Waiting, until they find an 'excuse' to 'accidentally' delete their DNS records.

Long Live WikiLeaks!

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BOFH: Pepper-packing bot plot

Fractured Cell
Megaphone

*puts on sunglasses*

...

YYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!

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BOFH: Lock shock

Fractured Cell
Go

Initiating Mobile Phone Tracer...

Gold. Pure Gold.

Keep up the work, or I will hunt you down, and turn you into a christmas-themed hat made from simon-skin...

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Apple patent pic revives touchscreen Mac buzz

Fractured Cell
Jobs Horns

Damn It!

If they get this patent, all my dreams for awesome laptops with touch-screens are going flying out the window.

I just hope the patent troll/hideously-deformed-creature/overweight-american has enough common sense to turn it down.

Who am I kidding, of course they'll approve it. *Mutters, contemplates murder*

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BT bids bumpkins to beg for better broadband

Fractured Cell
FAIL

Hah!

Im a bumpkin, with broadband (Or so they claim ... 2mbps/20 does not broadband make.)

They even had the cheek to ring up and complain that I was using what I'd payed for!

You just can't win.

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BOFH: Robot wars

Fractured Cell

Go on...

Puhleeze?

*Puppydog Eyes*

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Oracle on Unix biz: We can rebuild it

Fractured Cell
Go

We can rebuild it...

We have the technology.

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Airship race round the world planned for 2011

Fractured Cell
WTF?

Big Brother is watching from above...

National Geographic, The BBC, CNN, and CCTV will provide coverage of this historic race.

Wait, what?

CCTV? Seriously?

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Google blames Wi-Fi snooping on rogue engineer

Fractured Cell
Stop

This is my title. Happy now?

"a pledge to delete British data "as soon as reasonably possible"."

As soon as we can get all the useful bits from it.

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The world's ugliest dog is dead

Fractured Cell
Flame

AAAARGH!

Kill it! Kill it with FIRE!!

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iPad users put tablet to netbook tasks

Fractured Cell
WTF?

OK, So...

I have handled one for a few days, and I /still/ can't work out what it is for.

It is basically a giant iTouch, anything that i can do on it, i can either do on my iTouch, or my laptop. As far as I can see, apple have created a niche for their product where one didnt exist.

How is this possible?

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Dell begs ToryDems to keep NHS IT project

Fractured Cell
Go

Dont Worry:

We are all living under one massive ConDem Nation.

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UK to get Diet Facebook

Fractured Cell

iScales:

I initially though that this would be a version of FB where you had to buy a USB scale set, and if you went over a certian weight, you weren't allowed to log in.

Provides an incentive to lose weight, I think. You heard it here first!

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Atlantis 'nauts on battery-swap duty

Fractured Cell
FAIL

The title is required, and must contain letters and/or digits.

"a 1 millimeter gap in the interface between the antenna and the boom"

"For heavens sake Smithers, This isn't rocket science, its /brain surgery/!"

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Yahoo! wipes! brow! of! worried! search! advertisers!

Fractured Cell

Does Anyone

...Even use Yahoo! anymore?

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Judge de-ASBOes yoof's low-slung kecks

Fractured Cell

Will someone...

...Please explain to this poor lad how a belt works?

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TfL signs £27.6m road CCTV deals

Fractured Cell
Stop

Wibbley Wobbley Timey Wimey ... Stuff.

"What this means is that we are using an analogue connection from BT..."

So it'll last about a week before it breaks then?

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Segway + motorbike = futuristic dorkmobile

Fractured Cell
Thumb Down

All i can see happening

here is a series of nasty head injuries.

As soon as the battery gives, so does the gyro, POW - faceplant.

(Speaking from personal experience - even at 7mph onto grass, it hurts like ****)

1. Buy Taurus

2. Flat Battery

3. Head injury

4. ???

5. Profit!

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FBI cyber cop says 'very existence' of US under threat

Fractured Cell
Grenade

That

is entirely what the bloke is getting at.

Besides, haven't you ever tried to take a cat to the vet? you have to roll it up in a towel.

Anyway, what about a good air gap between it and anything else, including the hackers themselves, and all portable media? Closed system. <Zerograv=ON>

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Fractured Cell
Coffee/keyboard

What a muppet.

"a determined adversary will always - always - be able to penetrate a targeted system."

Not mine you won't.

Not when its encased in foot-thick concrete at the bottom of the ocean!

Or, to be more realistic, a nice fat air gap between the net adaptor port and the Cat5. (simples!)

#format USA: /q

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