1724 posts • joined 13 Jun 2009
WHAT!!!!! THIS is discrimination!!! When is BOFH appreciation day?
Anyway, it's not official until Hallmark make a card for it.
Re: So that's a mechanical replacement? - Something, Something, Something, Dark Side
Luke: All right, is this thing good to go?
Medical Droid: Yeah, but practice on a hot dog first. Otherwise you might rip your d1ck off.
Paris, not a robots hand.... or is it?
To lose one Death Star may be regarded as a misfortune,
to lose both looks like carelessness.
It's all a fucking racket anyway....
... and re-certification every 3/4 years ...
It's just a racket to generate revenue for companies, they churn their product every few years so you have to take a course to see what has
changed been churned. If they were insurance products they would be illegal.
Did you fail your Java (tm) exam because you used a capital letter instead of lowercase letter. Bollocks! that's what the syntax checker in the compiler is for.....
I'm not picking on PMI/PMP specifically, but I have seen on their website that they will "revisit" the course material every 4 (?) years. Why? Did they not get it right the first time??
Strange though, nobody in the past 26 years has ever asked me "Am I COBOL, AIX or MQ certified?", but I have been asked am I java, oracle cicso certified, I guess the IBM marketing machine missed a golden opportunity there.
And even stranger, my Alma mater has never contacted me ask me to "re-certify" my degrees.
Can I conclude that IBM and universities are the only ones that are capable of delivering a education first time and getting it right?
A man can't even... was The contemporary King James Bible
A man can't even shit in peace nowadays without someone coming up with an idea for advertising, how much worse can it get.
I'd be more than happy to use a roll of toilet paper with the Apple logo on it.
Icon for obvious reasons....
www.new.beaujolais.plonk and www.french.chablis.catspiss
Star Wars... Phfffftttt
Luke Skywalker fantasies in 2017? Supercar, Fireball XL5, Stingray, Thunderbirds fantasies in 1960-1967. I can't remember, did Captain Scarlet have one as well?
Re: How much does it cost to get a patent?
It's just as well IBM didn't get that patent, Halliburton would have had to sue them....
Re: That's all folks...
I work for an incredibly large insurance company...
Only one thing to do then, go back to the mainframe and put a IBM3270 on everyone's desk (with optional light pen).
Seriously though people, when was the last time you heard of a mainframe virus????
But which line will the fanbois remember in the future?
'"Apple has posted a security update to address instances of the Heartbleed security vulnerability in its AirPort router line, despite having earlier said that its products were immune to the flaw."
Clever marketing or a genuine misthake?
With a maximum speed of one inch per second
Have the operating rights for the train been sold to Virgin Galactic?
Paris, 'cos she knows how to move things at an inch a second.
Re: Speculation!!!! It's worse than that...
As Tom 35 said "it's digital coin clipping by parasites"
The purpose of HST is to suck money out of the markets for the brokerage firms. The way HST works is the the software 'spots'a difference in the share price of a stock on two exchanges, it will sell the dearer one and buy the cheaper one.
For example; a brokerage house sees that microsoft is trading at $39.69 on the Chicago stock exchange and trading for $39.67 on the New York Stock exchange, the software will sell the brokerage firm's 1,000,000 microsoft shares in Chicago and buy 1,000,000 microsoft shares in New York netting the brokerage $20,000 less fees. The client's stock-holding is unaffected but the brokerage firm has somehow managed to siphon $20,000 out of the market.
It's just modren day coin clipping, it's also part of the reason why Lewis' claims that the American stock markets are rigged to the disadvantage of the non-HST trader.
Paris, see paragraph 2 above
Re: Sheer naked greed...
My epiphany came a few years ago as well. I decided that I wanted a copy of "The Cruel Sea", a film made several years before I was even born, but was shocked to find the only copy I could get was €22.00 (no extra features).
Thankfully the Daily Mail sorted me out by giving away a copy of the film some months later, so it only cost me €1.00 and I also got a free "newspaper" with it. The promotion continued for a week and I also got "The Mouse That Roared", "Kind Hearts and Coronets" and a few other Ealing comedies as well, all for a euro (and a free newspaper).
Obviously a newspaper is not going to spend €11 (assuming a 50% markup on the retail DVD) marketing a €1 newspaper, so I am assuming that the costs of obtaining a copy of the film and putting it on a DVD are pretty low.
Re: Up the creek without paddle...
As the old saying goes, 'Do you work to live or live to work'
Well I think I have addressed that problem, I have no quality of life and I balance that by doing no work.
Re: Up the creek without paddle...
@Don Jefe Which Eric Bogle song would that be Don?
● And the Band Played
Walzing Wanking Matilda
● No Man's
● Scraps of (tissue) Paper
● Now I'm Easy
● I Hate
Re: The database will be available to brands and companies that buy ads
>The database will be available to brands and companies that buy ads and to all the piratebay (proxy) users in the UK.
It'll probably be torrented tomorrow.
Or left on a train on a USB key
Re: It would
plus that other thing the copyright mafiaa hate so much, evidence.
Re: Getting beer too weak or strong is not as bad a fault as crashing a spaceship
Actually, I think you'll find it was alcohol that powered early rockets not beer.
Now that I think of it, some early rockets were built by poles in underground
factories concentration camps.
Dark matter killed the dinosaurs
But video killed the radio star (aka; a pulsar)
Still, it should be easy to create a new game that will keep the iSheep happy for hours, just create an icon on each screen that says "Please Turn Over".
There, I've said it first, if anyone creates this game I'll sue them...
Re: Value, what value?
True for assets in general, but in this case the net realizable value (NRV) of the asset is zero according to FAST
Re: Smart move
You're right, but (1) and (2) do not generate any money for the copyright mafiaa and are therefore evil.
hmm.... Now the crash test dummies will have to sue you for pirating their lyrics
Re: Important change
Office 2013 is really, really good.
What!! Death to the ribbon....
Re: Its worse than that - he's dead Jim
LOL, in trying to kill one 'market' they create another one to support the market they are trying to kill.
Re: "the legal online market needs protection against illegal competition,"
But its the same with DVDs, the copyright mafiaa disable the skip buttons when the shite is playing, i.e. ads, trailers, and copyright notices.
Not that I watch it anyway, I just put the DVD in the player, go make the popcorn, get the beer from the fridge, and by that time I have missed all the shite the copyright mafia have wasted money on.
Re: Another "grey imports" fiasco
How do you define a grey import in this case, coded in Amerika, duplicated & printed in some third world country, distributed from Germany, paid to a Irish/Dutch/Irish shell company. The only thing that seems to originate in the EU is the licence agreement.
It's not even original.....
1974 - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vAfthQTqj24
Re: Oh, the indignation!
No No, Mickysoft thought the NSA would only spy on other peoples privare communications, not Mickysofts as well.....
According to attrition.org/misc/keywords.html, these are some of the phrases that the NSA like to snoop on. I'm not sure why Leitrim (a county in Ireland), Elvis, 15kg quiche or Bubba the Love Sponge would be of interest to the NSA, but there's no accounting for peoples curiosity.
Waihopai, INFOSEC, Information Security, Information Warfare, IW, IS, Priavacy, Information Terrorism, Terrorism Defensive Information, Defense Information Warfare, Offensive Information, Offensive Information Warfare, National Information Infrastructure, InfoSec, Reno, Compsec, Computer Terrorism, Firewalls, Secure Internet Connections, ISS, Passwords, DefCon V, Hackers, Encryption, Espionage, USDOJ, NSA, CIA, S/Key, SSL, FBI, Secert Service, USSS, Defcon, Military, White House, Undercover, NCCS, Mayfly, PGP, PEM, RSA, Perl-RSA, MSNBC, bet, AOL, AOL TOS, CIS, CBOT, AIMSX, STARLAN, 3B2, BITNET, COSMOS, DATTA, E911, FCIC, HTCIA, IACIS, UT/RUS, JANET, JICC, ReMOB, LEETAC, UTU, VNET, BRLO, BZ, CANSLO, CBNRC, CIDA, JAVA, Active X, Compsec 97, LLC, DERA, Mavricks, Meta-hackers, ^?, Steve Case, Tools, Telex, Military Intelligence, Scully, Flame, Infowar, Bubba, Freeh, Archives, Sundevil, jack, Investigation, ISACA, NCSA, spook words, Verisign, Secure, ASIO, Lebed, ICE, NRO, Lexis-Nexis, NSCT, SCIF, FLiR, Lacrosse, Flashbangs, HRT, DIA, USCOI, CID, BOP, FINCEN, FLETC, NIJ, ACC, AFSPC, BMDO, NAVWAN, NRL, RL, NAVWCWPNS, NSWC, USAFA, AHPCRC, ARPA, LABLINK, USACIL, USCG, NRC, ~, CDC, DOE, FMS, HPCC, NTIS, SEL, USCODE, CISE, SIRC, CIM, ISN, DJC, SGC, UNCPCJ, CFC, DREO, CDA, DRA, SHAPE, SACLANT, BECCA, DCJFTF, HALO, HAHO, FKS, 868, GCHQ, DITSA, SORT, AMEMB, NSG, HIC, EDI, SAS, SBS, UDT, GOE, DOE, GEO, Masuda, Forte, AT, GIGN, Exon Shell, CQB, CONUS, CTU, RCMP, GRU, SASR, GSG-9, 22nd SAS, GEOS, EADA, BBE, STEP, Echelon, Dictionary, MD2, MD4, MDA, MYK, 747,777, 767, MI5, 737, MI6, 757, Kh-11, Shayet-13, SADMS, Spetznaz, Recce, 707, CIO, NOCS, Halcon, Duress, RAID, Psyops, grom, D-11, SERT, VIP, ARC, S.E.T. Team, MP5k, DREC, DEVGRP, DF, DSD, FDM, GRU, LRTS, SIGDEV, NACSI, PSAC, PTT, RFI, SIGDASYS, TDM. SUKLO, SUSLO, TELINT, TEXTA. ELF, LF, MF, VHF, UHF, SHF, SASP, WANK, Colonel, domestic disruption, smuggle, 15kg, nitrate, Pretoria, M-14, enigma, Bletchley Park, Clandestine, nkvd, argus, afsatcom, CQB, NVD, Counter Terrorism Security, Rapid Reaction, Corporate Security, Police, sniper, PPS, ASIS, ASLET, TSCM, Security Consulting, High Security, Security Evaluation, Electronic Surveillance, MI-17, Counterterrorism, spies, eavesdropping, debugging, interception, COCOT, rhost, rhosts, SETA, Amherst, Broadside, Capricorn, Gamma, Gorizont, Guppy, Ionosphere, Mole, Keyhole, Kilderkin, Artichoke, Badger, Cornflower, Daisy, Egret, Iris, Hollyhock, Jasmine, Juile, Vinnell, B.D.M.,Sphinx, Stephanie, Reflection, Spoke, Talent, Trump, FX, FXR, IMF, POCSAG, Covert Video, Intiso, r00t, lock picking, Beyond Hope, csystems, passwd, 2600 Magazine, Competitor, EO, Chan, Alouette,executive, Event Security, Mace, Cap-Stun, stakeout, ninja, ASIS, ISA, EOD, Oscor, Merlin, NTT, SL-1, Rolm, TIE, Tie-fighter, PBX, SLI, NTT, MSCJ, MIT, 69, RIT, Time, MSEE, Cable & Wireless, CSE, Embassy, ETA, Porno, Fax, finks, Fax encryption, white noise, pink noise, CRA, M.P.R.I., top secret, Mossberg, 50BMG, Macintosh Security, Macintosh Internet Security, Macintosh Firewalls, Unix Security, VIP Protection, SIG, sweep, Medco, TRD, TDR, sweeping, TELINT, Audiotel, Harvard, 1080H, SWS, Asset, Satellite imagery, force, Cypherpunks, Coderpunks, TRW, remailers, replay, redheads, RX-7, explicit, FLAME, Pornstars, AVN, Playboy, Anonymous, Sex, chaining, codes, Nuclear, 20, subversives, SLIP, toad, fish, data havens, unix, c, a, b, d, the, Elvis, quiche, DES, 1*, NATIA, NATOA, sneakers, counterintelligence, industrial espionage, PI, TSCI, industrial intelligence, H.N.P., Juiliett Class Submarine, Locks, loch, Ingram Mac-10, sigvoice, ssa, E.O.D., SEMTEX, penrep, racal, OTP, OSS, Blowpipe, CCS, GSA, Kilo Class, squib, primacord, RSP, Becker, Nerd, fangs, Austin, Comirex, GPMG, Speakeasy, humint, GEODSS, SORO, M5, ANC, zone, SBI, DSS, S.A.I.C., Minox, Keyhole, SAR, Rand Corporation, Wackenhutt, EO, Wackendude, mol, Hillal, GGL, CTU, botux, Virii, CCC, Blacklisted 411, Internet Underground, XS4ALL, Retinal Fetish, Fetish, Yobie, CTP, CATO, Phon-e, Chicago Posse, l0ck, spook keywords, PLA, TDYC, W3, CUD, CdC, Weekly World News, Zen, World Domination, Dead, GRU, M72750, Salsa, 7, Blowfish, Gorelick, Glock, Ft. Meade, press-release, Indigo, wire transfer, e-cash, Bubba the Love Sponge, Digicash, zip, SWAT, Ortega, PPP, crypto-anarchy, AT&T, SGI, SUN, MCI, Blacknet, Middleman, KLM, Blackbird, plutonium, Texas, jihad, SDI, Uzi, Fort Meade, supercomputer, bullion, 3, Blackmednet, Propaganda, ABC, Satellite phones, Planet-1, cryptanalysis, nuclear, FBI, Panama, fissionable, Sears Tower, NORAD, Delta Force, SEAL, virtual, Dolch, secure shell, screws, Black-Ops, Area51, SABC, basement, data-haven, black-bag, TEMPSET, Goodwin, rebels, ID, MD5, IDEA, garbage, market, beef, Stego, unclassified, utopia, orthodox, Alica, SHA, Global, gorilla, Bob, Pseudonyms, MITM, Gray Data, VLSI, mega, Leitrim, Yakima, Sugar Grove, Cowboy, Gist, 8182, Gatt, Platform, 1911, Geraldton, UKUSA, veggie, 3848, Morwenstow, Consul, Oratory, Pine Gap, Menwith, Mantis, DSD, BVD, 1984, Flintlock, cybercash, government, hate, speedbump, illuminati, president, freedom, cocaine, $, Roswell, ESN, COS, E.T., credit card, b9, fraud, assasinate, virus, anarchy, rogue, mailbomb, 888, Chelsea, 1997, Whitewater, MOD, York, plutonium, William Gates, clone, BATF, SGDN, Nike, Atlas, Delta, TWA, Kiwi, PGP 2.6.2., PGP 5.0i, PGP 5.1, siliconpimp, Lynch, 414, Face, Pixar, IRIDF, eternity server, Skytel, Yukon, Templeton, LUK, Cohiba, Soros, Standford, niche, 51, H&K, USP, ^, sardine, bank, EUB, USP, PCS, NRO, Red Cell, Glock 26, snuffle, Patel, package, ISI, INR, INS, IRS, GRU, RUOP, GSS, NSP, SRI, Ronco, Armani, BOSS, Chobetsu, FBIS, BND, SISDE, FSB, BfV, IB, froglegs, JITEM, SADF, advise, TUSA, HoHoCon, SISMI, FIS, MSW, Spyderco, UOP, SSCI, NIMA, MOIS, SVR, SIN, advisors, SAP, OAU, PFS, Aladdin, chameleon man, Hutsul, CESID, Bess, rail gun, Peering, 17, 312, NB, CBM, CTP, Sardine, SBIRS, SGDN, ADIU, DEADBEEF, IDP, IDF, Halibut, SONANGOL, Flu, &, Loin, PGP 5.53, EG&G, AIEWS, AMW, WORM, MP5K-SD, 1071, WINGS, cdi, DynCorp, UXO, Ti, THAAD, package, chosen, PRIME, SURVIAC,
Selective Fact Finder
You've also left out the Selective Fact Finder, one of the worst I've ever worked with.
"Hi Von Krakenfart, have you completed X yet?" where X = Selective Fact Finder's latest brain fart
" Eh No, it's coded but we haven' released it yet as we've had to roll out several critical service packs to all the servers" We were also trying to fix a bug in code Selective Fact Finder wrote 20 years ago that didn't handle century leap years correctly but you don't dare highlight Selective Fact Finder failings.
Selective Fact Finder then goes to the managers meeting and wants to know what the IT people are doing because project X hasn't been finished.
And HR used to wonder why staff turnover in IT was so high.
Mine's the one with the updated CV in the pocket.
May I be the first to say.....
RATTTSSS IN SPACCCCEEEE....
Actually the first Irishman in space was supposed to be one Tom Higgins, who operated the premium rate phone line 'Irish Psychics Live' and predicted in 2007 that he would be the first Irishman in space.
Not much of a psychic, is he?
Re: @AC 07:18 GMT & Chris Parsons
"Hell hath no fury like a fanboi scorned"
So crApple are now trying to patent file sharing.....
Does that mean there no prior art about file sharing? The mafiaa won't like to hear that.
Re: TV Remote Prior Art?
Yes, but did the patent for the TV remote buttons also say "on a mobile phone"?
Anyway, they should be OK, the buttons have rounded corners....
Re: "Modern humans seem to have entered Europe with pointed bone tools only and patent lawyers...
"Sorry Neanderthals, you can't use those lissoirs, iBone megacorp have a design patent on lissoirs with rounded corners".
This in turn lead to the extinction of Neanderthal
 In reality the Neanderthals did not die out completely, and there is evidence that Neanderthal and 'modren' humans inter-bred, about 4% of modern human mitochondrial DNA seems to come from Neanderthals. In fact, it's possible to see some Neanderthal traits in modern humans; e.g, low forehead, prominent eye-brow ridge, broad nose, occipital bun/ridge, and in the USofA, membership of the republican party.
Re: Not learning from history?
"So, is it because becoming a politician makes people stupid and arrogant, or is it only stupid and arrogant people who want to become politicians?"
No, what you call stupidity is not actually stupidity, it’s a characteristic of sociopaths, a type of arrogance, a belief that they are right, and when it’s wrong its somebody else’s fault. Personally I think a very high proportion of politicians are sociopaths.
Here are some of the most common characteristics of a sociopath:
• Conventional appearance, dark suit & nice tie.
• Glib, superficially charming, often highly verbal
• Promiscuous sexual behaviour
• Manipulative and cunning
• High sense of entitlement (have the moat cleaned at taxpayers expense)
• Lacks a sense of moral responsibility or moral conscience
• Shallow emotions
• Callousness, lack of empathy
• Lying without remorse, shame or guilt.
• Interested only in their personal needs or desires, without concern for the effects of their behaviours on others.
thrupenny bits, isn't that rhyming slang?
I know what I'd print with my 3D printer (see icon), thrupenny bits and all.
Re: Training your replacement.
Maybe Computer Science Corporation could ask Royal Bank of Scotland for advice...
Replacement : "So how do you configure the job scheduler backup script?"
What could possibily go wrong.
I seem to remember that 'the doctor' could only regenerate 7 times and that the Tom Baker doctor said something like only 2 regenerations left.
Police stumped by car theives
What a supprise!
Re: Slow as Sharepoint
yes Eadon, not everyone drives like the dukes brothers In the general lee, BTW, the dukes of hazzaed was light entertainment not reality TV.
Now if you had said something about curiositys OS been written In Java, that might have been worth a (small) smile....
Re: Constitution and ammendments
There are legitimate needs to collect such information. A terrorist calling someone in the US from a disposable phone creates the need to collect more phone records to find the terrorist
But where do you draw the line? Open all the mail, monitor all telephones and email, capture all pidgons In case they are carrying messages, make it an offense to wave your arms In case it is semaphore?
As Benjamin Franklin said "They who can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety"
Also research what the nazis said after wwii, its along the lines of 'we just kept telling the people they were under attack, then they will believe anything'.
Re: Laywers making porn
I would have thought this was the icon to use then.
Re: BYOD - The other side of the coin
Large corporates seem to work exactly the same way. IT wants a power base, and it doesn't like people who have to use computers to do actual work because IT can't understand or control it.
Yes, and then when some idiot plugs his porn filled virus magnet into the corporate network behind the company firewall, the first question IT will be asked is why did you let........
Corporate IT is fighting a war, and sometime it had to tell the difference between enemies and allies. Put a IBM 3270 on everybodies desk I say....
64k enough for anyone. . . . . Now were have I heard that before
Re: A possible problem...
key fob battery life....
Currently 13 years
Re: In other news...
Wrong icon Wombat.....
<---- use this one
Re: Reality TV fail
How are they going to balance the intelligent, mentally stable people they'd need for a mission like this
Well, that would not be necessary Mr. President. It could easily be accomplished with a computer. And a computer could be set and programmed to accept factors from youth, health, sexual fertility, intelligence, and a cross section of necessary skills. Of course it would be absolutely vital that our top government and military men be included to foster and impart the required principles of leadership and tradition. Slams down left fist. Right arm rises in stiff Nazi salute. Arrrrr! Restrains right arm with left. Naturally, they would breed prodigiously, eh? There would be much time, and little to do. But ah with the proper breeding techniques and a ratio of say, ten females to each male, I would guess that they could then work their way back to the present gross national product within say, twenty years.
Re: If the Daily Mail cover this story...
If that ever happens the authorities response will be.......
. . . . . . . . . . to ban <insert name of device here>
- Infosec geniuses hack a Canon PRINTER and install DOOM
- Feature Be your own Big Brother: Monitoring your manor, the easy way
- Boffins say they've got Lithium batteries the wrong way around
- In a spin: Samsung accuses LG exec of washing machine SABOTAGE
- Phones 4u slips into administration after EE cuts ties with Brit mobe retailer