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* Posts by DJ 2

208 posts • joined 12 Jun 2009

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BEHOLD the HOLY GRAIL of TECH: The REVERSIBLE USB plug

DJ 2
Joke

Re: We have all experienced Schrödinger's USB stick@Michael H.F. Wilkinson

I always thought that usb cables were based in quantum mechanics, that is they have a spin 1/2

Like a strange quark, you put the cable in, turn it over, try again, turn it over and try again, then on the next half spin it fits.

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New password system lets planet Earth do the hard work

DJ 2
Joke

I have this very special place

it's a little wave, around 19 / -130 but google doesn't show pictures of waves anymore, how am I going to find it?

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Devs write 'film my shag' sex app for Google Glass

DJ 2
Pint

Automatic point scoring.

I see little stars exploding in your view with "5pts" written on them..

Bonus boost scores for position changes and variation.

then your score is automatically posted to Google+ where nobody will see it.

Of course your mates (if you had any) would down the pub, "Only 400pts last night! hehehe"

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Oh those crazy Frenchies! Parisian cabbies smash up Uber-booked rival ride

DJ 2

@AC 8:16

"Having been taken through Paris the 'long way' round and being presented with an extortionate bill for the fare"

I would up vote your post as many times as possible if I could.

Parisian taxis are a monopoly, there are not enough taxis in the city and the ones that are there are all queued up at Gare du Nord waiting for the eurostar to get in. They then refuse to carry your bags because they are too big, or your destination is not in "75" paris.

3 - 4 more companies competing in paris would rectify the situation. Instead the taxis go on strike or result to violence the moment there is any sign of competition.

Stuff the taxis, the metro / bus system works fine. If you are going to Paris for the first time, get the Rossybus from CDG, or the Air France bus from Orly then use public transport. Or use the RER if you have been before.

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Apple's 'Smart Dock' patent filing makes Siri your new roommate

DJ 2

Available in Cydia as

Handsfree control,

My Iphone sits in the dock and listens to what I say.

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Amazon's non-existent drone delivery army ALREADY P0WNED

DJ 2
Black Helicopters

I have this vision

of Amazon fixed wing drones, flying low over a city then carpet bombing a 100+ parrot type drones carrying packages. Each one zipping off in a different direction delivering it's package then they rendezvous with an Amazon truck to be taken back to the airfield / depot.

All the while blasting Ride of the Valkyries out at full blast.

"I love the smell of new books in the morning"

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Our Sun menaces comet 'of the century' ISON with FIERY DESTRUCTION

DJ 2

Re: jonathon rochelle

interplanetary Baked Alaska, crispy fried on the outside and creamy ice in the middle.

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BOFH: Resistance is futile - we're missing BEER O'CLOCK

DJ 2

I think I've found my new Email signature

"So you want to keep data which is local, only ever going to be local, only needed locally, never accessed remotely, not WANTED to be made available outside our building, which can only WEAKEN our security by being off site, hosted offsite." BOFH: Simon Travaglia

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Google Earth SHOCK: ZERO point ZERO ZERO SIX of world forests disappear each year

DJ 2

The bordeaux region of france.

Are they really trees or differences between summer Vines and the winter cut back?

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Pebble smartwatch app guys! Put your mind at WRIST: New SDK + iOS 7 alerts

DJ 2

Re: About time too!

If all that doesn't work, go to the menu and see if the charge indicator is lit, it's probably run out of juice.

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DJ 2

Re: About time too!

You don't have to set everything up again, just turn on airplane mode for a few seconds and all should be good.

If it's still not linked, kill all the applications on the iphone and try again.

if that didn't work, press the middle and top left buttons on the watch until it resets.

if you have too many apps / watch faces then the communication can block constantly. leave as much memory free as possible. I currently have Swedish & Chinese fuzzy time, PeaPod and Counter on mine.

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Planet hopper: The Earthly destinations of Doctor Who

DJ 2

Re Lincolnshire in "The North"????

"The North" used to be any place more north than watford gap service station on the M1.

Friends now tell me it means any place north of the M25.

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FREEZE, GLASSHOLE! California cops bust Google Glass driver

DJ 2

It's hardly distracting though, he doesn't have an eye where it is "installed"

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How to spot a coders comment

DJ 2

Re: irrelevant

Our Indian offshore developed application had this comment.

private float btwidth; // 列与打印页面的宽度比例

And google translates says "And print out the page width ratio"

which is just a WTF in it self.

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Multipath TCP: Siri's new toy isn't a game-changer

DJ 2

With 3G / 4G being very expensive.

How do you turn it off?

Another reason not to upgrade to IOS7 right there.

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THE TRUTH about beaver arse milk in your cakes: There's nothing vanilla about vanilla

DJ 2
Joke

Re: Sir

Or even chicken eggs.

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Xbox One launch date REVEALED - and it's on the 360's birthday

DJ 2
Joke

Microsoft are so consistent.

Their naming strategy is very strange.

1, 2, 3, 95, 98, 2000, XP, Vista, 7, 8

and

Xbox , Xbox 360, Xbox one,

They just went for the broke on the last name, maybe the next one will be called "Xbox Original" or possibly after their inability to count. "Xbox 20"

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Hypersonic 'scramjet' aims for Mach 8 test flight

DJ 2
Joke

So if the autodestruct doesn't happen.

What is a mach 8 rocket going to do to the sea.

1. Enter like a diver and do little else?

or

2. Make a big ripple?

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Holiday HELL: Pourquoi, monsieur, why is there no merdique Wi-Fi here?

DJ 2

Your daughter can't find wifi in paris?

Parcs have free wifi, many bars and cafe's do. Try asking.

Lots of resturants have a "WIFI" sticker in the window telling you about it.

Starbucks *there are bloody loads here*, and if you have / know someone with a mobile / fixed line in france you can piggy back off 100's of locations.

try going to cartewifi.sfr.fr

Davy.

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Fanbois smash iPhone 5s much sooner than iPhone 3s ... but WHY?

DJ 2

Would it have to do with the number of new iPhones that have those stupid bumpers that don't protect the screen?

The only phone I've managed to destroy was the Nokia phone from the matrix, answering a call one day at the top of a flight of stairs, the bottom slide part took a suicide plunge all the way to the bottom where it promptly split in two.

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Apple drops hints about future low-cost iPhones

DJ 2

Re: 5s @ DJ 2

.... WOOOSH.... again.

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DJ 2
WTF?

5s

" however, was how many of those 31.2 million iPhones it sold in its third fiscal quarter were iPhone 5s"

Is this an article from the future?

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Rotten hackers feast on mouldy Java flaws

DJ 2

I've removed all trace of Java from my home machines.

I only had one application that used java and that I used very rarely.

The number of versions that were installed was just staggering, I deleted about 20 different versions each taking up a huge chunk of disk. The upgrades should be in place and not in a new folder.

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CONFIRMED: Driverless cars to hit actual British roads by end of year

DJ 2
Stop

Re: For this to work in the UK...

In the US the right of way is size biggest to smallest.

In the UK and most of Europe it's smallest to biggest.

Jaywalking makes sense under the US rules where the car is bigger than the pedestrian. In the UK the pedestrian always has right of way. Except where pedestrians are not allowed.

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Paypal makes man 1000x as rich as the ENTIRE HUMAN RACE

DJ 2

Re: I wondered too

Not everyone uses 2 decimal places as their minor currency. I would hope that all accounts are to 6 decimal places at least, preferably to 10. Or they could see a lot of explaining to do in their future!

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Man sues Apple for allowing him to become addicted to PORN

DJ 2
Holmes

Avenue Q

The Internet is really really great! (for porn)

I got a fast connection so I don't have to wait (for porn)

There's always some new site (for porn)

I browse all day and night (for porn)

It's like i'm surfing at the speed of light (for porn)

the internet is for porn

the internet is for porn

why you think the net was born? *

for porn.

porn,

porn.

* cleanish version of the lyrics.

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Judge nixes Microsoft SkyDrive name in BSkyB court ruling

DJ 2
Stop

Infringing how?

One is for an offline storage device, the other is a satellite tv provider. They are hardly in the same market so no infringement.

This needs throwing out.

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Voyager 1 'close' to breaking through to DEEP SPACE - boffins

DJ 2
Joke

Re: I always wondered....

Back then they hadn't discovered that the whole solar system is full of rocks. They thought they were only in two distinct belts, and the oort cloud they didn't really believe in. If you don't think anything bad will happen it won't. ;)

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Yahoo! announces last hurrah of ancient AltaVista search

DJ 2

Bablefish is still better than google for fr to en Translations.

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Speech-to-text drives motorists to distraction

DJ 2

Re: Whittering Lesbians Groucho Sheep

I've tried SIRI in Austrailian and American english, but I had to go back to using British english, and that horible sounding bloke because they just couldn't understand me.

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Airbus imagines suitcases that find themselves

DJ 2
Stop

They would still lose it.

Everytime I fly from Charles De Gaulle they loose my bagage, I only take a small carry on now, and from the picture that option would be removed. Last flight I took, I arrived in Manchester my bags went to La Guardia in New York, there isn't even a direct flight with the airline I was on.

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Raspberry Pi DUMBS DOWN to target world+dog

DJ 2

SD Cards,

I tried 5 different sd cards in the damn thing before I gave up and bought a preinstalled sd card.

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Google seeks to calm facial recognition furor with app block for Glass

DJ 2
Terminator

But

How can I find John Conner if this gets blocked?

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I am NOT a PC repair man. I will NOT get your iPad working

DJ 2
Coat

Re: My excuse...

I know nothing of macs.

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Brit firm PinPlus flogs another password 'n' PIN killer

DJ 2
FAIL

I don't even know what my pin code is, my fingers follow a pattern that I can perform while very drunk and without my glasses. Online banking is a pain in the arse, because they jumble the numbers on the site.

Pattern recognition good idea, but if you watch the person put in the numbers I'm sure you could deduce which straight line or box of numbers they were picking from.

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SimCity Classic

DJ 2

SimCopter

Sim Copter was my favorite, build your city in sim city, then explore it in the helicoptor.

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Bill Gates: Windows Phone strategy was 'a mistake'

DJ 2
Trollface

Re: Did he say Bing?

What is Bing? I'll have to google that.

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Boffins propose satnav tracking for 'KILLER KOALAS'

DJ 2
Pint

I knew about the Drop bear story before an Aussie friend of mine stated telling me about it.

After quietly listening to the story while drinking my beer. I said.

"I've heard of the Drop Bear before, evidently it is the number one killer of Australian cowboys, you see the saddle is way up high on the kangaroos back and that makes them an easier target".

Nose full of Guiness.

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Tablets aren't killing ereaders, it's clog-popping wrinklies - analyst

DJ 2
Pirate

Re: Correlation != Causation

but the number of sea pirates is increasing, and a good thing it is. Didn't I read on "el reg" that there is no need to panic, because the temperature rise will only be by 1.7 degrees by 2050.

Somalia is the cure to global warming.

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Siri, will Chrome's new speech features kill you?

DJ 2

Re: Strange

I use siri reminders all the time, also to find out what the weather is going to be. Searching is pretty naff. Calendar appointments are tricky to get working. just need "Siri turn the wifi on/off", or "Siri turn the data on/off"

not possible on non jailbroken devices.

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Bubble baron treats Space Station crew to blowup model

DJ 2
Mushroom

And what protection from radiation does that provide?

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Canadian astronaut warns William Shatner of life on Earth

DJ 2

But this is Space Station 2.0, a MIR + SpaceLab mash up.

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UK games market clutches chest, bleeds out sales in 2012

DJ 2

But but but.. it's always been the case. Most of the games come out from September to December, with a few that ran over schedule released in Jan / Feb. Nothing has changed since gaming began with Atari and the home computers that followed.

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Yes, hundreds upon hundreds of websites CAN all be wrong

DJ 2
Pint

I have bought guitar tab and chord books before that were obviously wrong. They can be a good starting point for a song, but you need to change it to suit your own style and voice and correct the wrong chords / voiceings.

Playing the exact recording version of a song is very boring and not a lot of bands are faithful to their original recordings.

I'm currently playing The Smiths covers with a country feel to them. Makes people laugh and sing along in silly voices.

Beer because the ultimate stage fright relaxant.

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Mystery storage startup sheds cloak, reveals $22m package

DJ 2
Pint

Re: Sack the marketing guy ...

not static nor dynamic, no synergies at all.. They might just succeed, at what ever they are doing.

An now it is Beer'o'clock have a merry drinking season..

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Lego quad-copter: your ultimate drone nightmare

DJ 2
Thumb Up

I've just got my daughter intrested in lego.. I think I might be helping her a lot christmas morning.

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Hard-up Brit bankers bag endless free Wi-Fi during cig breaks

DJ 2
Happy

SFR in France have sim based authentication to wifi, it tries to off load the 3g data onto wifi that you are automatically logged into. However the surfing speed of this shared wifi is slower than 3g.

There are apps that will remember your login credentials for free wifi and automatically log you on. I use it extensivly while stood at the bus stop outside macdonalds.

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Shh! Proxima Centauri can hear us!

DJ 2
Thumb Up

Re: Proxima Centauri ...

It was in the general Alpha Centauri system, so yes to both accounts, it's a tri-sun system.

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Apple loses iPhone patent lawsuit

DJ 2
Pint

Re: Surely a mistake

Do you mean slate like portable input devices that can be activated by either touch, a stylus or by voice command?

Or perhaps does that open automatically as you open them (with or without the swoosh noise).

Or perhaps you were referring to the flat screen computer terminals that double as both display and input device.

Replicator, One Guinness Cold.

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2012: A generation-spanning year for gaming

DJ 2

Re: Wii U doesn't feel next generation

That was exactly the same problem with the psp. Memory Sticks were very very ****ing expensive.

Sony never learn.

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