* Posts by Benj

8 posts • joined 12 Jun 2009

Suicide bum-blast bombing startles Saudi prince

Benj
Paris Hilton

@Ian K

"Pull my finger....." Brilliant!

Paris - Cus quite a few things have 'gone off' inside her.

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Naked iPod touch dangles its FM radio

Benj
Paris Hilton

@GrantB

" Not that I ever understood exactly why people were buying MP3 players to listen to FM radio anyway." - You could say that about any piece of tech with "extra" functions. Why would you buy a telephone to listen to mp3's, play games, take video, watch films?

Anyway, I too made the same mistake by buying a Sony mp3 player. Connect software effectively ruined the machine. I dreaded it when my wife asked me to add some more music to the player. It also had a green "floating" oled screen which was really striking, except if you tried reading it outdoors. Lying by the pool on holiday, you had to cover your head with a towel to create enough darkness to read the screen. Great (grate) design Sony!

Paris - Because she's designed with only one function.

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Church altar smites devout Catholic

Benj
Paris Hilton

God, but not the right one

I think this man was being punished for worshipping false idols.

Clearly the Flying Spaghetti Monster reached out with his noodly appendages and toppled the altar. Punishment was either being crushed by a big stone or made to walk the plank. Seeing as there wasn't a plank to hand, the stone had to do.

I think my fellow pastafarians reading this site would agree that the almighty can only have his meatballs pushed so far.

RAmen

Paris as i'm sure i've seen her on her knees worshipping columns.

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Too thick to boil an egg? Buy 'em preboiled

Benj
Paris Hilton

Shelled! What the hell do you mean?

Are you really trying to teach us that the hard exterior can be removed BEFORE eating. I just thought they were naturally crunchy.

Next you'll be telling us there's a way to drink wine without having to suck it through the cork.

You learn something new every day.

./Paris. Because when asked, "What came first, the chicken or the egg?" She just cried because her head hurt.

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Projector-phones due by Christmas?

Benj
Paris Hilton

For the love of humanity......

......think of the teachers.

The mental breakdown inducing humiliation of having a cock and balls projected onto your back every time you turn to write something on the black/white/digi -board.

On the other hand.....

How cool would it be as a child to be able to project a cock and balls onto your teachers back when ever they turn to write on the black/white/digi - board?

./Paris. Cos she's had a few things projected onto her over the years.

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In-car gadget mount sprouts arms

Benj
Paris Hilton

Fab idea

Perhaps they could make one clamp slightly larger to accommodate a slightly larger screen. Then link a forward looking video camera to this larger screen and......hey presto! You can now see where you're going.

I think this whole "seeing the road" thing may catch on.

/Paris. 'Cos she's used to mounting gadgets but not so familiar with ones with 3 arms.

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World's first in-cinema interactive 3D game inbound

Benj
Paris Hilton

Wave your hands in the air like you just don't give a f...

How long until one side of the audience blames the other for crashing the ship. The escalation of hostilities between the two halves resulting in a mass brawl spilling out into the foyer.

The sobbing heartbroken child clinging onto the limp, lifeless, nacho cheese covered body of their parent. The now seemingly tragic Ice Age intro with the squirrel chasing a nut, projected pointlessly onto a half torn, bloodied screen in the background.

O2 don't do it.......Just think of the children.

/Paris. 'Cus she clearly feels upset by the sadness of it all. Even though she probably doesn't fully understand what a 'feeling' is.

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O2 Joggler family organiser

Benj
Stop

O2 Terms and Conditions

Its worth having a read of the Joggler T & C's.

3.1 You authorise us to use and disclose, in the UK and abroad, information about you, your use of the Service (including, but not limited to, phone numbers/email addresses of calls, texts and other communications "Communications" made and received by you and the date, duration, time and cost of such Communications), how you conduct your O2 Calendar and/or O2 Joggler and your location for the purposes of operating your O2 Calendar and/or O2 Joggler and providing you with the Service or as required under law to our associated companies or agents, any telecommunications company, debt collection agency or credit reference agency. You agree that the information may be used by other parties in assessing applications for credit from you and members of your household and for debt tracing, credit management and may be used by us or other parties for crime and fraud detection and prevention.

You also need to opt out of some marketing stuff listed in para 3.2

Read them all here: http://www.o2.co.uk/termsandconditions/o2family

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