* Posts by Richard 39

55 posts • joined 12 Jun 2009

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Jedi light-sabre beats Taser in Oregon parking-lot fracas

Richard 39

So...

They tasered him first and it failed, THEN wrestled him to the ground.

Typical example of trigger happy, lazy policing and reliance on inappropriate weapons - can't be bothered to get physical, I know i'll taser him.. Oh crap that didn't work, I guess i'll actually have to do my job properly.

Good on the man I say if a plastic toy can beat the police.

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Amazon solves wait-at-home-for-deliveries problem

Richard 39
FAIL

Corrected it for you...

ParcelForce/HomeNetwork/XYZ try deliver your parcel at home, you are out so they instead ALLEGE to have delivered a note through the door (according to their online tracker) telling you to rearrange delivery for another time, rinse and repeat SEVEN TIMES (I kid you not). You NEVER receive the cards, spend hours on the phone and email to XYZ company who sincerely insist that on all SEVEN occasions someone DID leave a card, until you get utterly fed up with the situation and tell them to stick the product and get a refund.

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Chic USB drive leads double life as personal vibrator

Richard 39
Thumb Up

Unusually high shower...

Or a very deep... (no I won't go there)

Thumbs up, do you have to ask why?

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Utah cops baffled in case of mysterious anonymous cuffee

Richard 39

Maybe

He got fed up with his wife and fancied some peace and quiet

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Lady vicar tells Anglicans to learn from Black Sabbath

Richard 39

As a wise person once said to me...

"Most metallers look like someone you wouldn't want to meet in a dark alley, but stick them all together in a festival (Donnington) and everyone gets on like a house on fire."

I experience this first hand everyday of my life. It is amongst metallers and the music that I feel relaxed and myself, I cannot want for a better group of people.

Compared to other brands of music with gun/knife violence, autotune singing, regurgitated pop drizzle, gang warfare, ho's and pimps or techno-techno computer programmed crap, Metal is pure talent oozing out for the enjoyment of fans and although they mosh the hell out of each other in a pit, they always pick up the fallen and take care of the wounded.

I never see that amount of understanding and respect for another in any of the other styles of music out there

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Emmerdale shoves jam rags in innocent kiddies' faces

Richard 39

Seriously!!

fighting the urge to rant at the Daily Fail and all the retards that read it.

I guess they've never sat their kids down in front of Jeremy Kyle then!

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Brigitte Bardot demands flying donkey action

Richard 39

did anyone

actually ask the donkey if it wanted to go up there, or if it had fun?

No of course not because Dr Doolittle is FICTIONAL. FFS how can they tell if the ordeal upset the donkey, for all they know he could have loved it. Just look at the dogs that go surfing and diving, they love it so why shouldn't a donkey like para-gliding

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Bangladesh cuts off Facebook

Richard 39

Ooo Ahh Daily Star

If you're referring to the same paper as available in the UK then shame on you! It is a red-top, trashmag.

Oh and blocking facebook because someone made insulting cartoons about your PM, porn and insult to islam - do you not get the internet?

You don't see us wetting our pants and crying to mummy because someone make a cartoon about our PM (everyday!!). Porn on facebook? man you're in for a shock when you find google and finally, insult to islam! please! That's life. There will always be someone out there who will say something you will find insulting, that's human nature. So, are you going to be a pansy all your life and cry to mummy to stop the evil voices, or are you going to man up, realise the world for what it is and get about leading your life.

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Blunkett threatens to sue for £30 ID card refund

Richard 39

RE: I Think...

"Having a little bit of plastic that has a verifiable identity on it would certainly be easier to carry round for internal flights and EU flights and what-not than having to carry your passport. Handy for if you need to open a bank account and such as well"

Internal flights - Driving License perhaps?

Bank account - Driving License perhaps?

and the icing on the cake

"easier to carry ... than having to carry your passport"

ok then, well consider this.

I went to America and the list of documents/papers I took are -

Parking stub for the long term parking

pre-booked parking booking reference paper

online e-ticket

boarding pass

hotel information

reference of my visa (or equivalent)

pen (to fill out the immigration forms before entering the USA)

and

passport

all carried on my person.

Now all of these items combined makes for quite a bundle so having the space taken up by my passport being reduced to that the size of a credit card is pointless as it wont do anything to remove the need for all the other bits of information I need (and no you cant fold all those bits of paper up and put them in your wallet). IF (big if) the ID card allowed me to travel without the need for all this extra dead tree offcuts then and only then would I have ever considered the ID to have any actual use for me.

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No refunds for ID card pioneers

Richard 39

May I just say...

Hahahahahahahahahahahaha

*inhale*

Hahahahahahahahahahahaha

a warm sense of satisfaction sweeps over me as I recall all those numpties who lobbied that ID cards were the best thing since sliced bread.

Just desserts that the retards don't get a refund

:-)

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Wide-eyed kiddies in Scarface school play shocker

Richard 39

thats nothing...

I've been forced to sit through High School Musical 1,2 & 3. Trust me this short film is heaven compared to that tripe!

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Legal high fire sale starts now

Richard 39

RE:Re: oh FFS

mephedrone & methadone, whats the difference? (I'm a law abiding citizen don't you know so I have no clue about this stuff)

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Richard 39
FAIL

oh FFS

So let me get this straight.

A couple of kids doing what kids do have the misfortune of ending up dead from a dodgy batch of legal drugs. The press jump on it with their usual ravenous dog attitude and government passes a law within weeks of it happening claiming that it can kill so ban it, supported by the usual dodgy research.

So shall we apply this twattery to something else, oh like smoking or alcohol? no of course not, theres tax to be made from them!!

Is anyone else aghast at how 'knee jerk' this whole saga is?

Shame they haven't pushed through all the expenses and cash for honors corruption as quickly as this.

The sooner we get these self centred, personal agenda pushing, media pandering scum out of power the better

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Tinfoil Condition Red! LHC 7 TeV mega-blasts today

Richard 39

49% chance we'll all die

Well with my reasoning that means I should only do 49% of work today and by some strange co-incidence that means it's time for me to go home - WOO HOO!!

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MSI tells 97,000 customers to 'Read The F***ing Manual'

Richard 39
FAIL

ahh PC World the home of wannabe techies

I went to PC World to pickup a new battery for my motherboard. some guy in a shirt and smile comes over to me and asks me if he can help. I tell him I need a new battery for my motherboard and show him the slip of paper on which I wrote the battery make and spec (this was probably my second mistake).

Mr ever so helpful said he would go and check for me, he came back a few minutes later and said sorry sir we don't have those batteries here you'll have to go to Maplins!!!

So there is me walking round PC world taking in the new Games on display before I trundle over to Maplins and what do I spy in the corner? A five foot display of batteries with a big f'off cardboard duracel battery potruding out of it!

OMG you don't think...... nah it can't be, because Mr ever so helpful told me they don't have any.... wait what's that?

OMFG it's a battery, same spec as the one I need for my motherboard but wait... it's made by another company than the one I currently had

*face palm*

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Climategate hits Westminster: MPs spring a surprise

Richard 39

Graham Stringer: The Opera?

Sounds like a prime role for Jerry Springer, or Jeremy Kyle

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New cig peril: Third-hand smoke coats puffers in poison

Richard 39

I AM A SMOKER!!

and I like it, I do it because it makes me happy and I don't care about so called 'health risks related to smoking', Yeah so, I might die of it but we're all going to die sometime and no-one can predict if Joe Healthy will die in any less pain than I, If anyone disagrees with me - do one! Yes I know this is an ignorant, self centered and narrow minded opinion but so are the findings in this piece of crap someone is trying to pass off as scientific study.

I find Curries to be more dangerous than this mythical 'third hand smoke' crap.

I defy anyone to go into the toilet after someone who has had a curry and not gag or run for fresh (second hand smoke filled) air, or for that matter I defy anyone to enjoy the ass burning sensation of a hot curry the next day.

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Man sets mice on musophobic ex-missus

Richard 39

reminds me of..

a remake of the movie Ben I saw recently called Willard, both in which a man trained rats to kill. perhaps the perp was trying to emulate this movie?

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Missile missed in criticism-busting interceptor test failure

Richard 39

I'm sure I've heard this story before

In Spies like us with Chevvy Chase and Dan Akroyd

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Wrists playing up? You're shagging too much

Richard 39
FAIL

Oh dear Steve..

You're doing it wrong if your doggy style looks like the beast with two backs!!

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Oracle power couple take Manhattan by billboard

Richard 39

may I be the first to say...

WTF is up with that chin!!

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ASA bans tyrannical German boss ad

Richard 39
Happy

@ Sarah

I HAVE considered forgetting about it and continuing to live my life... However -

the immense feeling of satisfaction from lamping these losers is too much to resist and lets face it unless we remove their ability to complain (speech, fingers, toes in some cases) then these ass twitchers will keep coming back time and time again

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Richard 39

I've had enough of this...

I know Britain has an image of being a bunch of complainers but this is the last straw.

Some body put me on the desk that deals with complaints and me and my friend 2x4 will soon sort out these pricks

I f'king hate these losers that have nothing better to do than complain about other people possibly being insulted

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Chavez decries evils of PlayStation

Richard 39
FAIL

Pfft

If you REALLY believed what you wrote you wouldn't hide behind the Anonymous Coward name!

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Yanks floored by nail guns, computers and baseballs

Richard 39
Coffee/keyboard

EW!!

(70-year-old who) PUT A DEODORANT BOTTLE INTO HER VAGINA AND THE CAP IS STILL STUCK INSIDE. DX FOREIGN BODY VAGINA / REMOVED

Just had a mental image of Lee Evans' stetch about a Gran dancing at a wedding ....WAFT!

oh and surely soap and water would have been a better choice

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Peppa Pig told to belt up

Richard 39
FAIL

Parenting FAIL

one parent "complained that her daughter had refused to wear a seatbelt because Peppa did not."

OMG epic parenting fail!

For starters - ONE parent... One out of how ever many million parents there are in this world... talk about catering to the pathetic minority!

she should have said "I'm telling you to put it on and i'm your mother, now shut up and put your seat belt on before I belt you one myself you spoilt little brat!"

It's a F'cking cartoon character FFS - Fic-tion-al Char-ac-ter, when the hell did fictional crap outweigh a parents ruling??? I bet she voted Labour.

seriously, it's dumbass parents like this who make me think back to the days when my Biology teacher ranted that everyone should have to pass a common sense, competency test and get a certificate in order to have kids

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Loud sex woman coughs to ASBO breach

Richard 39
Joke

Title - bah

Wont someone shove something in that womans mouth to shut her up!!

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3 billion have suffered Slade's 'Merry Xmas Everybody'

Richard 39

RATM

come on EL Reg where's your article on Rage Against the Machine currently beating the Xfactor pleb in sales? It's IT related because 750,000 facebook members are downloading it!

I demand a Reg spin on this hot topic :-)

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'Alienated' gamer sues WoW for ruining life

Richard 39

had to be done

For The Horde!!

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Amazon punters go mad for 'Laptop Steering Wheel Desk'

Richard 39

all well and good..

when driving in a straight line but what about these danged things call roundabouts in England. From the look of it a sharp turn in either direction will cause said supported item to slip off the wheel mount.

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Wall-punching Brit gamer foams (milk) at the mouth

Richard 39

OMG

It's just a bloody computer game, that kid has issues, many issues. Is this what kids are like nowadays, crybaby self-harmers because they can't play a game??

Get a hair cut, sort out your attitude and get a job you freak!

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Spanish region teaches kids how to crack one off

Richard 39
Paris Hilton

Loving the Read more options

Read more: Spain Masturbation Extremadura

Ironic that you write an article chastising a leaflet giving information about masturbation but post a link to the subject underneath it

Oh and shouldn't you be putting a NSFW marker on this?

Paris: as if you even had to ask...

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Dirty, dirty PCs: The X-rated picture guide

Richard 39

The keyboard one

just reminded me I need to pop out and buy a new mouse and keyboard. Thanks el reg

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Boffins working on biodegradable flexi LED implants

Richard 39
Thumb Up

idea! (stolen from The Matrix)

The human body creates heat, kinetic engery, electricity and methane. Surely this can be harnessed to power these little devices?

Can I be the first to have laser beams mounted in my eyes please?

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Governator in acrostic 'f**k you' outrage

Richard 39

@ Sly

oh do they now? I'm an ass man personally

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Government to protect children from zombie paedophiles

Richard 39

Who designed this database?

What idiot designed this database without a 'Delete' button

Oops, sorry I forgot our pig troughing overlords don't want to delete any data of any sort they can hold about us mere mortal citizens

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UK fatties demand 'hate crime' status for lardo-baiting

Richard 39

@ Sarah

Why yes I am Sarah, thankyou for noticing.

Not that it should have any bearing whatsoever, my opinion still stands as I have not always been of average height and build

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Richard 39
Flame

Pansys the lot of them

Everyone who gets 'offended' about being insulted for whatever reason (size, colour, religion, sex, orientation etc) should lock themselves in a padded room, curl up in the foetal position and cry themselves to obscurity - grow up and dont be such a pansy.

WAKE UP people this is the real world. It is not all roses and sunshine. There will always be a bad element in every aspect of society. The only way to stop it is to overcome it. If you succomb to the badness around it will only come back with avengence.

Stop being such pussies and learn to live with life and all it throws at you, If you can't do this, get off my planet and stop screwing it up with pointless laws

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Chinese media finger Swedish lesbian enclave

Richard 39

simply way to find out

Google earth it and see if its true

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Gov demand for Governator to terminate PunterNet

Richard 39

silly bint

Whenever Harriot Harmon speaks all I hear is inane bleating from a lamb that has lost its mother.

The woman is deplorable and one of the many leeches on our society that should be culled (and I mean forever) a the next general election.

Stealing Arnold's movie catchphrase does not make you big or clever it just shows a lame attempt at trying to be funny and rouse the labour masses (of retards and window lickers).

Be gone vile woman and take the rest of your scum-kind with you

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Baroness Scotland fined for failing to follow own law

Richard 39
WTF?

Incompetent..

Typical, a lawbreaker making our laws and a leader no one wanted telling us she doesn't have to quit. Get these cretinous power abusers out of office now.

Just because she's a baroness and bum chum of that tosspot we have in power she gets a £5K fine (pittance probably given the amount she is on) and allowed to stay in her position. She broke the law! If a Lawyer, Judge or even humble piggy wiggy broke the law they'd be sacked, why is she any different, if anything she should be punished more severely as she has much more power than the others mentioned?

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Warning: Showers can seriously damage your health

Richard 39
Troll

@ Mephistro

"I'm a WoW fanatic and I took a shower once!"

Utilise your time man, have a shower then the servers are down for weekly maintenance (every Wednesday), that's what I do while I wait for them to come back up :-)

Troll because you don't have a blood elf icon

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Richard 39
FAIL

Scaremongering again

Ah lovely, my daily dose of American fear mongering. Is it impossible for Americans to come up with cheerful, happy news anymore, or do they have do push the fear angenda in every walk of life now?

Some prick comes up with a 'scientific' study and comes to the conclusion it's going to harm us - germs are bad for you bacteria is bad for you, run for your lives!!!!!

"most people will be fine unless they have compromised immune systems" - ffs if your immune system is compromised it's because you've spent your whole life avoiding germs and killing 99.9% of them with crap like detox in fear of these terrible germs.

What no-one seems to point out or remember is that the human immune system NEEDS germs and bacteria in order to remember how to kill it and keep it up to date.

Biology 101 -

Vaccinations are weakend versions of diseases that your body can easily kill, your immune system then 'remembers' the type if disease if you catch the real version and replicates the necessarry white blood cells to kill it, humans need 'background' dirt and germs as you cannot vaccinate every kind of attack, if you remove that from your environment then you are damaging yourself as you don't have the memory bank of how to kill it.

oh and back to the article, I cannot see how bacteria could survive in my shower, I have it running pre getting in on a very hot setting to make loads of steam. In my head the mass of water pouring out is sufficient to wash out the bacteria and kill it with its temperature before I step in and anyway I dont live in a germ free Detox 99% germ free environment so my immune system should be sound.

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Sarko boosts standing by standing in front of dwarves

Richard 39
Happy

@ AC 14:08

Clearly you've never spent a significant amount of time England, we ridicule Charles for his ears and Gordon Brown for his double chin (and much much more) constantly.

Oh and it's called British sense of humour, it's fun and enjoyable to slate someone and when you couple it with the fact the person is incompetent it makes it all the sweeter.

The insults soon get boring if the recipient doesn't let it affect them, Sarkosy is playing on it for political/personal gain rather than ignoring them so therefore the insults will keep coming.

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YouTube Lad from Lagos gets a bite

Richard 39
Unhappy

Hey..

That's my sister!!!

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Lad passes gruelling 'getting on bus' test

Richard 39
Boffin

@ Andy Hockey

I just looked at that list and ticked off all the ones I can do.

The only one I can't do is - Youth club project: applying for funding.

I guess i'm not the genius I thought I was, although clearly i'm far too clever to live in Bury

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Richard 39
FAIL

What next

A certificate to say one can wipe their own ass properly!!!

what a pile of crap

"here you go Jimmy, you have successfully proven you have common sense and can use it, here's a piece of paper so you can prove it to other people"

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73% of Brits too shagged for a shag

Richard 39
Go

@ AC

Yes I do work for someone else. They are one of the top Companies in the country and the Director, my boss is a stickler for quality, performance and maintaining an excellent company profile. He recognises that to get the required results you have to pay trained and experienced staff well, paying peanuts gets monkeys and is damaging in many ways for a company. I totally agree with his philosophy and it greatly helps my lifestyle. I think its a shame that there are companies out there who choose cost effectiveness over quality, reputation and performance.

oh and an adherence to a muscial style is a hobby, such like keeping fit and finding time to spent quality moments with the missus (in keeping with the original article topic), it is not the best thing in my life, but sure as hell beats staring at a tv screen with my brain bio-degrading thanks to the likes of Jeremey Kyle. I'll go out on a limb here and suggest you've never been to an adreanline fueled festival or gig - a harmony of thousands of people there to appreciate one thing - the music with no agendas or altercations, it's one of lifes natural highs and a perfectly acceptable past time, millions of rockers/metallers can't be wrong.

It has been said to me that you gather all of the worst people you would fear to meet in a dark alley, bring them all together in appreciation of the same music and harmony prevails. It is true, I have seen it every year.

and finally, how does being a metaller improve my kids lives? Seeing as it's my music choice and hobby it does not impact on the way they are raised (much the same as classical music, pop music or dare I say it rap music). My kids are schooled well on right and wrong, ethics and diversity, taught to stick to their convictions and most of all the ability to use their own common sense and intelligence to make informed (but basic - lets face it they cant vote, get credit or drive yet) lifestyle choices such as what music they like to listen to, what instruments they play, what subjects they enjoy and excel at and what sport they indulge in. They are also supported by loving Parents and Grandparents who keep them active and engaged rather than leaving them to fester in front of an LCD or loitering in the streets. In my eyes that is quite a fortunate upbringing.

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Richard 39
Go

@ John 158

Thanks for the reply.

For the record I am not a bloody hippy, I'm a metaller, big difference.

At the risk of starting a flame war, reading your post about Mortgages, Credit card, Kids etc it occured to me that these were choices you made in your life (and I share some of those choices, although I like to think I didn't fall for them as I am not burdened by them). I dont dare guess for one minute you woke up one day and found all those things dumped on your lap. which fits in my original post.

I don't think it's a case of your employer finding someone cheaper, the whole costs vs quality argument would be relevant here and no employer (stuggling or otherwise) in their right mind would choose cheap, quality compromised employees over normal rate, required quailty workers: if they did, I would walk voluntarily as I refuse to work for someone with that ethic.

If you want the 34 days off a year and a siesta, move to Spain, it is possible plan ahead, save and be wise with your money. If that philosphy makes you think I'm a hippy then I'll agree to disagree with your opinion

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Richard 39
FAIL

If your not happy, make some changes

Reading half these articles about who has it worse (OMG I have to get up at stupid o'clock and come home at stupider o'clock so i'm too tired), people need to remember their life is exactly that... their life.

If you're moaning for moanings sake or to get one up one everyone else ODFO, If you don't like your life, change it!

It's not the impossible dream that most people believe. You can work better hours, have time to socialise and enjoy keeping fit and do those things you want to do (be it sit on the sofa on your ass or make something of yourself). All you have to do is engage that lump of grey matter in your skull and make choices then have the balls to implement them.

It seems to me that most people are stuck in a glass box, too content or lazy or scared or de-motivated to see that they can smash their way out of it on their own.

so what if people are too tired to have sex at the end of the day, that's their choice. I choose to work easy hours, have a nice commute (in my car), find time for the gym and still spend my evenings with the lovely lady, making the beast with two backs, if people really wanted to have a shag at the end of the day then they would pro-actively do something about it to ensure they could get their end away

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