* Posts by Colin 4

62 posts • joined 12 Jun 2009

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Boffins unearth the ultimate antique art - 500,000 years old

Colin 4
Boffin

Relativity

It's clearly an early attempt to describe time dilation a'la Special Relativity, using the "light clock on a passing train" thought experiment.

A bit of credit where it's due please people.

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UK.gov pushes for SWIFT ACTION against nuisance calls, threatens £500k fines

Colin 4
Coat

Spam the bastards back!

As a father of 2, I can't ignore any call with ID withheld unless I know for SURE my kids are with me or otherwise OK - 'cos you never know.

However, whenever I get a human spam call with no ID nowadays, and it's not TOO inconvenient (like, I'm on the bog for example), I like to have a bit of fun with them ...

"Hello sir, my name is Brainless Moron calling from Bastards Incorporated - I wonder if you can spare a few minutes of your time?"

"Sure, but firstly do you have a pen and paper handy?"

"Er ... yes, why?"

"Excellent. Right, hold on while I give you an account number and sort code ..."

"Er .. what? Why?"

"Well, so you can pay for my time of course. My fee for listening to you is £50 per hour, is that OK? Once I confirm your payment, you may call me back"

"...!?"

"Yeah, well now you know how it feels, you bloodsucking scumbag. Now why don't you go and get a REAL job doing something useful. Or just jump off a cliff. Whatever."

<click>

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No sail: NASA spikes Sunjammer

Colin 4
Happy

Planetary Society

They're working on this too, smaller scale though and they have to wait for a lift ... http://www.planetary.org/explore/projects/lightsail-solar-sailing/

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Malaysian Airlines flight MH17 claimed lives of HIV/AIDS cure scientists

Colin 4

NOT A CRASH !

I'm a bit sensitive to this due to arranging an international holiday for my slightly flight-nervous missus and our kids. It's NOT a crash, any more than 9/11 was building collapse due to structural failure (and yes, I do appreciate the irony of my chosen comparison)! It was blown up, so can everyone stop calling it a bloody crash please!

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Boffins make noise about D-Wave chip: it seems quantum

Colin 4
Facepalm

incoherent

indeed.

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Brit boffin brews INSTANT HANGOVER RELIEF

Colin 4
Boffin

Addictive

Oh, I guarantee it will be addictive.

Any pleasurable substance or behaviour can become addictive - the brain seeks the reward, whether it's an adrenaline rush, sexual high, or drug-induced headspin.

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ROBOT PODS to INVADE Milton Keynes in frenzied automatic MAYHEM

Colin 4
Coat

12mph [≈ World record time marathon, 2h03m59s]

Would everyone please stop entering 12mph in their comments ?

My entire page is filled with "[≈ World record time marathon, 2h03m59s]" courtesy of Dictionary of Numbers

Oh no, I typed 12mph too. sorry ...

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Is this the silicon chip KILLER? Boffins boot up carbon-nanotube CPU

Colin 4

Re: "without having to look for imperfections or even know where they were"

I suspect they mean designing a manufacturing process which is self-correcting and will automatically eliminate defects - like the bit where they run a current through the CNTs and the closed ones vaporize, maybe they can do something similar for misaligned CNTs.

So they just apply these processes, and they know all the dodgy CNTs will have been blown away.

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Warming: 6°C unlikely, 2°C nearly certain

Colin 4
Facepalm

@If you want a stable climate

Man has been wiped out regularly ? Wow, nice job re-evolving us to the same species every 150000 years, evolution !

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Hitchhikers' Guide was WRONG, Earth is not in a galactic backwater

Colin 4
Boffin

stupid bloody reality

Er ... no. The Guide is definitive. Reality is frequently inaccurate.

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Graphene QUILT: A good trampoline for elephants in stiletto heels

Colin 4
Pint

Re: P-P-P-P-P-P-P-

Nearly perfect ! Best I can come up with to help is the grammatically dubious but poetically plausible :

"Page provided perfect prose pondering performing pachyderms perched precariously 'pon pencil proof planar products"

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Curiosity succeeds – Mars was wet enough for life!

Colin 4
Boffin

Re: What Are We Waiting For?

Nope, the mission is intended to determine whether Mars has ever had environmental conditions favorable for life, NOT to find evidence of life itself.

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US lawmaker blames bicycle breath for global warming gas

Colin 4

Re: UK: Cyclists already pay for the upkeep of roads, as do pedestrians

"All the extra cycle lanes" eh ? All they do around here is paint a line a couple of feet in from the edge of the road and call it a "cycle lane".

This has rather hilariously resulted in quite a lot of roads where the car lane is actually not wide enough to FIT a car. Especially hilarious when there's a bike going each way, and a bus going each way ...

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Soak up CO2 with sponges, says CSIRO

Colin 4
Facepalm

CCS is dangerous fantasy

CCS is such a bad idea. Eventually, no matter what we do with it, it will burp it's way out and then we're stuffed.

And in the meantime it diverts resources from ACTUAL solutions. The future is carbon-neutral power generation, that's just all there is to it.

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El Reg contemplates the ultimate cuppa

Colin 4
Coat

Luxury

In them days, we'd a' been glad to have the price of a cup o' tea.

A cup ' COLD tea.

Without milk or sugar.

OR tea!

In a filthy, cracked cup.

We never used to have a cup. We used to have to drink out of a rolled up newspaper.

The best WE could manage was to suck on a piece of damp cloth.

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Rocket 'Grasshopper' leaps higher than tall building in single bound

Colin 4
Thumb Up

Sure, it may not be easy, but ...

SpaceX are a business after all - they aren't out to throw money away and they're doing pretty well.

Elon's a very switched-on guy and I'm sure they've thought this through.

I predict they'll make this work, despite all these objections.

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Einstein's brain FOUND ON APPLE iPAD

Colin 4
Coat

Re: Einsteins Greatest Mistake

Presumably if he'd done that, there would also be an Android app ...

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NASA captures mind-bogglingly gorgeous solar video

Colin 4
Facepalm

Re: Re: Time Lapse?

Yep, sure is, can't miss it !

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Surfing ROBO-shark hunter stalks great whites along US coast

Colin 4
Coat

Surely

they're using fanbuoys ?

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New UK curriculum ramps up lessons in SPAAAACE

Colin 4
Facepalm

This is new then is it ?

I did all of this in school. That was Australia though, and a couple of decades ago - has it always been this slack here ?

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Apple slaps mega-solar panel field on new ENORMO data centre

Colin 4
Facepalm

re: Solar = Joke

What a ridiculous comment ! All our power comes from our star. What's so ridiculous about cutting out the middlemen ? We're going to have to do it eventually.

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Oz robo-soldiers in US Marines' firing line

Colin 4
Thumb Up

hoodies !

you gotta love that they're wearing hoodies ... if they had trousers no doubt their jocks would be showing too

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Russian probe engines crap out on way to Mars

Colin 4
Alert

What about the LIFE "astronauts" ?

What about the Planetary Society LIFE experiment ? Spare a thought for the hardy Tardigrades, Conan the Bacterium, and all the other microscopic astronauts attempting to survive the journey ?

Come on you Russians, where's the guy from Armageddon bashing it with a wrench shouting "this is how we fix things on Russian Space Station!" ?

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Love Bug malware-inspired film gets big screen premiere

Colin 4
Thumb Down

one to miss

well, that looks crap.

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Indonesian anti-smut MP caught ogling filth

Colin 4
Coat

grabbing coat now ...

Fell on his Pork sword, presumably ....

mine's the one with tissues in the pocket

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Windows 7 gets the Star Wars treatment

Colin 4
Gates Horns

Not a Fit

"was not a fit with the Windows brand" .... yeah, the jokes on these shows work.

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Nokia talks Pure typographic cobblers

Colin 4
Thumb Up

cats

"instinctively kicked the cat" ... brilliant, nearly lost my fish finger sandwich there ...

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Leslie Nielsen dead at 84

Colin 4
Thumb Up

favourite quote

Lt. Frank Drebin: ...blowing away a fleeing suspect with my 44 magnum used to mean everything to me, I enjoyed it, well who wouldn't?

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Crash grounds RAF Eurofighters - for Battle of Britain Day!

Colin 4
Coffee/keyboard

Mrorons ...

What else would you expect from "moron" airforce base ? That was just asking for trouble ....

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Middle-aged sex is crap: Official

Colin 4
Thumb Up

69

Ironically, thats how many comments there were when i posted this .... I'm guessing there's not much of that going on either ....

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'The LHC will implode the Moon or PUT OUT THE SUN'

Colin 4
Boffin

@Black Holes

I think its about the seperation - a singularity has infinite density and zero size / radius so as the gravitational attraction is inversely proportional to the separation distance, other particles can get so close that the gravity is much higher. It only needs to eat enough other particles to outweigh the energy of the hawking radiation and it will keep growing forever. Then again, I may not have much more idea than you. No doubt some more boffinly commentards will sort us out shortly ....

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NASA's WISE opens 'candy store of images'

Colin 4
Thumb Up

WOW

That is SO frikkin' awesome !

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Note to Captain Kirk: Warp speed will kill you

Colin 4
Boffin

more research required!

tut tut ... as any trekkie worth his salt knows ... the warp drive compresses space in front of the ship and stretches it behind. the ship never moves even close to light space relative to the real space around it.

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New cig peril: Third-hand smoke coats puffers in poison

Colin 4
Thumb Down

what a load of crap

that is all.

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DARPA scientists demand lightning on tap

Colin 4
Thumb Up

DARPA

Nice DARPA description Lewis .. back on form !

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'Hybridisation' tech to quintuple battery life

Colin 4
Coffee/keyboard

More effort on DARPA descriptions please

I remember when DARPA descriptions were sure-fire keyboard-ruiners. Like how about this gem :

"The Pentagon's famous bad-boy scientists, DARPA* - who slap the pendulous jowls of established wisdom with the gauntlet of disregard ?"

Or this one :

"the famous Pentagon research bureau which, when scrumping apples from the tree of knowledge, ignores the low-hanging fruit in favour of the harder-to-reach pomaceous treat which often turns out to be beyond its reach."

Or :

"DARPA* - who are to ordinary insane scientists in their dungeon laboratories as platinum-selling popsters are to teenage-saddo garage bands"

Nowadays you hardly even seem to be trying Lewis. "renowned Pentagon brainiac-breeding bureau" - not bad, but not brilliant.

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US, China play footsie with joint space mission

Colin 4
FAIL

yeah right

The US are obviously just wetting themselves ... they know the best they will manage in the next 10 years is to get halfway back to where they were in 1969, whereas the Chinese will probably have a yum cha restaurant at the moon's south pole by then. So the seppo's figure - lets jump on their coat-tails ....

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New 'reversible' paralysis-ray turns victims blue, flaccid

Colin 4
Coffee/keyboard

keyboard please

'flaccidity and empurplement'

got some coffee out my nose that time, cheers !

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Lily Allen exits Twitter, bins BlackBerry

Colin 4
Thumb Up

hasnt gone far enough

hopefully the no-talent bimbo will cry off microphones and cameras too, and we wont have to see or hear her ever again.

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Giant megaships to suck 'stranded' Aussie gas fields

Colin 4
Pint

@Standard Units

By my calcs, that ship will be 52.0664 Double Decker Buses / 3.4711 Brontosauruses long, weighing in at an impressive 142.8571429 MEGAJubs ! Thats Alotta Jubs !

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Swedish bloke attempts lactation

Colin 4
FAIL

idiot

obviously skipped biology class.

although if he tries hard enough he might get some blood out ...

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Illinois bright spark sparks car inferno

Colin 4
Unhappy

Natural Selection

Damn, natural selection was thwarted again by society ! These genes will now probably be passed on to the next generation. Human Devolution continues apace ....

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US 'grooming robot' to reduce navy bottom-fouling

Colin 4
Thumb Up

only the beginning !

this could go a lot further ... the hull could have a full complement of little BUGs that can crawl all over it, not only anti-fouling but also performing repairs. just like the R2 units on the spaceships in Star Wars eh ?

Could do with being a bit more streamlined though - unlike the R2s, these guys will have to deal with some pretty heavy resistance from the water if they want to work when the ships are underway

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Robo autopilot 'digital parachute' lands light plane hands-off

Colin 4

yawn

sent me off to sleep nicely. good story, but man, what a boring video.

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Half-ton space watermelon hints at habitable Martian past

Colin 4

smashed to bits

isn't it likely that the actual impactor DID smash to bits, and this is just one of the bits that got thrown clear of the original impact site ?

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Exotic star's 'violent ejections' during companion's visits

Colin 4
Thumb Up

Restrained Innuendo

Not like you Lewis, to be so timid ! The innuendo in this article could have been much more explicit methinks ... still, very interesting.

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Microsoft assaults our senses with 'viral' Bing video

Colin 4
Unhappy

i feel ill

Why oh why didn't i heed your warning Reg ? I guess I'm just not very good at following instructions of the form "don't look at this" ....

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IT grad sues school over failed job hunt

Colin 4
Megaphone

All i hear is

boo hoo, poor little me. she needs to grow up and face reality - the world does not owe her a living.

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Powered robot suits make debut on Tokyo streets

Colin 4
Paris Hilton

poor fit ?

The girl looks like hers is poorly fitted - she looks extremely uncomfortable.

Either that or she is walking awkwardly for some other reason ....

Chose Paris because I'm sure she walks like this way pretty often ;)

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Walmart goes green with solar build-out

Colin 4

offset credits ?

How does this help ? Surely they are still using the power, which still comes from fossil fuels.

What happens to the money they pay for these 'credits' ?

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