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* Posts by N2

865 posts • joined 12 Jun 2009

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Cybercrooks breed SELF-CLONING MUTANT that STEALS your BANK DETAILS

N2
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Re: By opening the file

Agree entirely

The donkeys years old problem with the last three ie someexecutable.pdf.exe should have been fixed years ago as well.

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The internet just BROKE under its own weight – we explain how

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Sadly

Some of this traffic was attributed to the tragic death of Robin Williams - RIP.

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Microsoft: Just what the world needs – a $25 Nokia dumbphone

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Taken a long time

But it looks like Microsoft are going to deliver something people actually want, just the sort of phone to have in the car for emergencies if the battery lasts 36 days on standby for example.

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Clock ticking for Surface 3 as Microsoft preps for globo-launch

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But

Will it be warm in winter for my cat to sleep on?

He never goes near my MBP cos its too cool.

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London cops cuff 20-year-old man for unblocking blocked websites

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Is this

in the UK or North Korea ?

Glad I left the dis-united kingdom

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Microsoft throws old versions of Internet Explorer under the bus

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Of everything

That Microsoft have junked

It would be great if they threw all versions of IE away

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Speaking in Tech: 'I think Ballmer tried to DERAIL MICROSOFT', says ex-Redmond man

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'I think Ballmer tried to DERAIL MICROSOFT', says ex-Redmond man

What took you so long to work that one out?

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Windows 8 market share stalls, XP at record low

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Re: If I were Microsoft...

Do well if you could config it to look like 2000, XP, Vista or 7 chez classic shell

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Re: Register Daily To Do List

"and remind me again, just how Win 8 has "succeeded"."

Succeeded in pissing people off on an epic scale

& they actually want you to pay money for this shite?

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Re: Why won't they sort it out?

Because were Microsoft & your dog is wrong.

Tossers.

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Forty-five years ago: FOOTPRINTS FOUND ON MOON

N2
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Pint

Re: Thanks to the men and women of NASA, et al.

Good comment,

Me too, I was 11 at the time & having since seen the lunar modules at Kennedy Space Centre made me realise what an amazing achievement it all was. Have a pint.

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Help yourself to anyone's photos FOR FREE, suggests UK.gov

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Wankers

Clearly dont understand what they are doing, by giving away something which is rightfully mine or yours, for someone to use as they like.

Sure they'd be annoyed if I ploughed their lawn and planted spuds?

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So whither Microsoft? If Nadella knows, he is keeping it well hidden

N2
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Re: They are just disliked, because they are greedy

Agree entirely,

Greed worked when they were the only player, but not any more & it will be their downfall

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Microsoft's MCSE and MCSD will become HARDER to win

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Agreed,

"The reason I make fun of MCSEs is that they can't format a floppy disk in order to update the BIOS" bloody hell, thats a tall order!

I once bumped into one that asked me how to map a network drive from the command line.

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British cops cuff 660 suspected paedophiles

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Re: Good work

Agreed, Id have those found guilty castrated & locked up for a long time, the problem is sentences arn't tough enough to stop this proliferating

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Microsoft joins Qualcomm's gang in Internet of Stuff standards fight

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Trouble ahead

Microsoft should be banned from having anything to do with standards

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Microsoft compliance police to NHS: We want your money

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Re: How they treat smaller customers? Much the same then!

Nasty bastards.

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French Senate passes anti-Amazon amendment

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Re: So

Hi, I found quite a nice Qwerty at Hyper-U for €14

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London Tech Week: All for the luvvies and the joke's on you, taxpayers

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Re: Monkeys, banana plantation

Oh yes,

I'll pick that up and run with it!

I always used to try & think of a witty answer to those stupid remarks...

"We'll collect some low hanging fruit"

To which I replied, "I think you've been staring at Sallys tits for far to long", went down a storm, may not get away too lightly now.

Name changed to protect the innocent & no offence intended if your name happens to be Sally or you have nice breasts.

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WORLD CUP SHOCK: England declared winner in 2-1 defeat to Italy

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What you really mean is

The Italians have been things to do than twit about football.

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I am NOT a PC repair man. I will NOT get your iPad working

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Re: Apparel Solution

Excellent idea, wonder if they do it in French as well?

My solution is to say "yes, I can fix that, it will only take a minute, do you have it with you? I will put it behind the rear wheel of my Land Rover & reverse over it, as reverse works best for PCs, forward for iPads & anything else..."

The conversation ends rapidly with a gasp & a "why did you say that" - Simply so I can stop talking about work & get back to enjoying myself/ vin rouge/ whatever I was doing beforehand.

Works every time

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French teen fined for illegal drone flight

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Re: Stupid bureaucrats

Agreed,

You'd think the local Office de Tourisme would now be using it, but regrettably they dont seem to have the faintest idea about promoting anything apart from Puy de Fou over here.

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Windows XP market share decline stalls, Mac OS X surges

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Re: "What methodology is used to calculate StatCounter Global Stats?"

...I would guess their readers are more likely to be IT literate, and will have things like Ghostery, NoScript, AdBlock Plus, etc installed to suppress these ad cookies. Or, even, run an O/S other than Windows altogether. e.g. Linux, *BSD, etc!

Agreed, Ghostry, Noscript, DoNotTrackMe, AdBlockPlus installed, non Windows OS & outgoing ports monitored.

But you dont really need to be all that techie to achieve, just common sense.

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UK.gov data sell-off row: HMRC denies claims it'll flog YOUR private info

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Re: Bah!

"Just wondering who you would like to replace the 'Spivs' with?"

More Spivs thats who, as all politicians are in it for themselves

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Tooled-up Ryobi girl takes nine-inch grinder to Asus beach babe

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Re: More Concerned About Safety Gear

Yep,

Id love to see her lady muff

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OK, we get the message, Microsoft: Windows Defender splats 1000s of WinXP, Server 2k3 PCs

N2
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Re: Well...

Agreed & up-voted,

But it will still somehow be your fault.

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It may be ILLEGAL to run Heartbleed health checks – IT lawyer

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Thats the problem

With laws

They tell you what you can't do, not what you should do

& are enforced by a pack of grossly overpaid people

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Internet is a TOOL OF SATAN that destroys belief, study claims

N2
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Good

Religion is a cause of great division anyway

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BT finally admits its Home Hub router scuppers some VPN connections

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I suspect they may just need to set the correct MTU

or chuck it & get a DG834

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Ballmer: 'Microsoft would have a stronger position if I could redo the last TEN YEARS'

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Pint

Re: Well if I had gone back 10 years in time..

Good post.

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N2
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Correct

MS would be much stronger now if he never arrived in the first place

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Roll up, roll up for the Commentards' Ball

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Re: Well done El Reg

Could a pint be printed instead?

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Dell charges £16 TO INSTALL FIREFOX on PCs – Mozilla is miffed

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Re: Sounds about right

I'll drive over it in my Land Rover, that'll fix it for you...

Fairly swiftly the topic of conversation changes & I continue to enjoy what ever I was doing before it started.

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BT's IPv6 EXPIRED security certificate left to rot on its website

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Worked for me

Realising I had gone to BT in error & thus unlikely to find anything helpful I clicked 'Get me out of here'

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Microsoft UK seeks infrastructure guys for BYOD workshops

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Re: "Cack In The Attic"

Well, most of it is brown

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The UNTOLD SUCCESS of Microsoft: Yes, it's Windows 7

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Re: that they've dragged the desktop GUI back to Win 95 levels of sophistication.

Hi

Upvoted, but I for one would much prefer to use Windows 3.0 or 3.1

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Microsoft may pick iPad for first release of Fondleslab Office™

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Fine

So long as theres a free trial & it costs about £10

anymore & its doomed

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Facebook turns 10: Big Brother isn't Mark Zuckerberg. It's YOU

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Yawn

Thats all.

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Even 'Your computer has a virus' cold-call gits are migrating off XP

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Re: They seem to have stopped calling me

Excellent, Ive said "Ill just go and get it from the attic" & put the phone on the table and left it, dunno how long they waited.

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Microsoft to RIP THE SHEETS off Windows 9 aka 'Threshold' in April

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Re: I want Windows 7 back because I prefer to be slow!!!

"OK, one more time: the reason Windows 8 starts programs so fast, is because it never closes them. When you close a program in Windows 8, it is minimized and the UI hidden. It should come as no surprise that maximizing the program and unhiding the UI is faster than actually loading and starting it again."

Hmm, I wonder where they got those ideas from?

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N2
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Trollface

Good luck

It will all be fixed in the next release!

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Army spaffed MILLIONS up the wall on flawed Capita online recruiting system - report

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Re: 1.3 billion?????

When any govt contractor screws up wholeheartedly like this, they should be given the option of dropping all associated costs or being struck off the list.

Had this policy been implemented years ago none of this would be happening now

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Light, fast ... and pricey: Toshiba's Portégé Z30 – now THIS is an Ultrabook

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Re: Craplets must be killed

Agree entirely, hateful stuff

At least McAfee crapware has been killed off but I bet theres plenty of it still out there.

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Gift-giving gotchas: How to avoid Xmas morning EMBARRASSMENT

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My wife

Was very disappointed that batteries wernt included!

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Click here to BEAT OFF David Cameron's web SMUT ban

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Go away Cameron

Dont think the UK will have to wait much longer.

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Excise Xmas prezzie indecision MISERY with El Reg’s gift guide²

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Re: Hard-learned lesson

Thats why they get a bottle of booze, anything even remotely tech is avoided.

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BT warned: Speed up Openreach repairs or face PUNITIVE FINES

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Re: Ever seen an Openreach van in a hurry ?

Or its "Oh Christ theres a man up a pole" waiting for the inevitable browser error & searching for that USB dongle thingy.

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Microsoft yanks Surface 2 DIM SCREEN of DEATH fix in update snafu

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Re: And....

Yes, three button mouse = good for me & still use it now,

Bought a stock of them because like most good things they get yanked prematurely!

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IT bods: Windows XP, we WON'T leave you. Migrate? Chuh! As if...

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Re: Meanwhile...

Q. Where did you buy this heap of junk from? A = I didnt, it was provided to my brother in law, unfortunately he has to tollerate this junk to earn a living.

Quote "modern laptops are mostly improved considerably" = It was brand new as of 1 week ago, Win 7 64bit 1Gb HDD with 8Gb memory, the 'Windows Experience' was 5.9 but we experienced nothing but frustration but I suppose its a bit dated now.

Quote "Best bet is to ask someone with a little technical know how before you buy your next PC." = Dont worry, I wont. After 30+ years in IT PCs & laptops are generally a disappointment. I have every expectation that my elderly Mac Pro will continue to work exactly how I do for a good few years yet before you bleat about price I got it second hand in as new condition & before you bleat about Mac Tards I run XP in a VM to provide a perfect solution for me. I will pass on your comment to the IT dpet who set it up, Im sure they will be thrilled.

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Re: Keeping the IT industry in the manner to which it has become accustomed

Agree entirely,

Ive just witnessed my brother-in-law typing a fairly extensive e-mail to his support department following the 'upgrade' to Windows 7 (Win 8 wont run any of their software) on a well specified Dell laptop. The fairly meaningless 'Windows Experience' is 5.9 however the laptop runs like a slug & every time he opens the lid it crashes from sleep requiring a hard restart to name a few 'issues' or defects as I prefer to call them.

To say he & I were dismayed is an understatement & his e-mail concluded with "I will call in tomorrow & collect my old laptop as I require something that works"

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