* Posts by Allan George Dyer

1304 posts • joined 12 Jun 2009

Nipper rolls up at nursery with 48 wraps of HEROIN

Allan George Dyer
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Pirate

Do they also expel all cookery students?

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Five unbelievable headlines that claim Tim Berners-Lee 'INVENTED the INTERNET'

Allan George Dyer
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Pint

Coffee cup holder, someone's got to mention the coffee cup holder! Re: www = internet

Insert rewrite of old users-are-idiots joke here...

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Why can’t I walk past Maplin without buying stuff I don’t need?

Allan George Dyer
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Ap Liu Street in Sham Shui Po, Hong Kong

A whole street of various tech shops, with a tech street market down the middle.

If your wallet survives that, the Golden Computer Shopping Centre is just a short walk the other side of the main road (if you reach Fuk Wing Street, you've gone too far).

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Roll up, roll up for the Commentards' Ball

Allan George Dyer
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Coffee/keyboard

Re: Well done El Reg

In face, email me more than one... I can guarantee that my opinions become more interesting in a linear relationship with my beer intake... up to a certain value, when they cease altogether.

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Massive new AIRSHIP to enter commercial service at British dirigible base

Allan George Dyer
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I hope the British Government is giving its full support, where else could they get enough hot air?

OK, I'm going...

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Insecure hipsters with BEARD ENVY spur facial hair transplant craze

Allan George Dyer
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Unhappy

Born in the wrong decade

So the beard I had in the 80's at Uni would be cool now? Damn!

But I suspect that I'd still find a way to be uncool.

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Pine trees' scent 'could prevent climate change really being a problem'

Allan George Dyer
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Flame

Re: positive feedback mechanisms?

What about the warming climate reducing the extent of boreal forests, thus reducing the cooling effect of organic aerosols?

Help, help, we're all going to burn...

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Collective SSL FAIL a symptom of software's cultural malaise

Allan George Dyer
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That's just what THEY want you to think!

Now, where's my tinfoil-hat icon...

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South Korea green lights Stuxnet-like code weapons to nark NORKS

Allan George Dyer
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Opportunity for Nork...

1. Fire nuclear weapon

2. Announce it was unauthorised

3. "Discover" malware in weapons system that caused the misfire

4. Blame S. Korea

???

Profit!

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London calling: Date set for launch of capital's very own domain name

Allan George Dyer
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Re: domain name explosion

It's not only a win for the registrars, it's useful for criminals too. Now, was I paying my groceries at sales@tesco.com or sales@tesco.london - I know, it was sales@tesco.fraud

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'Please don't make me spend more time with my family...'

Allan George Dyer
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Paris Hilton

Re: Number Crunch Saga

So you're offering Eddie a training course on becoming optimistic?

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China's censors censor press censorship report

Allan George Dyer
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Big Brother

Re: Sir

Barbara has been refused a Chinese visa.

Sir Runcible, I doubt Beijing is worried about what foreign press says about them, but they do have a tight hold on the local press.

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Allan George Dyer
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HK press is reporting the report, not the censorship

Not too bad here yet:

http://www.scmp.com/news/hong-kong/article/1426666/beijing-blamed-hong-kongs-press-freedom-declines

But no mention of China censoring the report.

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UK claims 'significant lead' in drones after Taranis test flight

Allan George Dyer
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Boffin

Does it deliver pizza?

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First man/machine nerve grafts restore amputee's sense of touch

Allan George Dyer
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Thumb Up

Re: glad to see those minds put to good use

@Havin_it: The difference is the neurone interface and closing the feedback loop. I would rate this alongside Cochlear implants, but the others are mere mechanical attachments compared to these.

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MPAA spots a Google Glass guy in cinema, calls HOMELAND SECURITY

Allan George Dyer
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Accessory opportunity

Market a highly visible clip that covers the lens to Google Glass wearers with prescription lenses. Cinema can verify they aren't pirating the film, everyone's happy.

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Allan George Dyer
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Re: group that was collecting video of members of congress and judges singing happy birthday

Was Marilyn Monroe a member?

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Boffins measure 27 quantum states of light

Allan George Dyer
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Facepalm

Improve quantum-based secure communications systems?

Doesn't it break them instead? The whole point of quantum crypto is that observing the communication breaks it, but this says you can make a weak measurement and not change the state. Or am I missing something?

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Look out, Earth! Here comes China Operating System (aka Linux)

Allan George Dyer
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Headmaster

Re: The install package will (of course), be three times that of a vanilla install (@ Ian Emery)

Well, TWO written languages, Traditional (used in Taiwan, Hong Kong and other places) and Simplified (used in the Mainland). And dozens of input methods, PinYin being the most popular phonetic one on the Mainland, but shape-based methods, such are Cangjie and CKC are also popular. There's also the handwriting-input methods.

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My name is Dabbsy and I am an EMAILOHOLIC

Allan George Dyer
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Holmes

You're not really an addict until you have a domain mailbox.

One time I duplicated the addresses for everyone in the company, because of an error in the domain name on the printed brochures. With no time left before the exhibition, the easy solution was to register the new domain name.

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Boffins hampered by the ampere hanker for a quantum answer

Allan George Dyer
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Pint

So we need to hunt down small things that move unpredictably. Sounds like a job for Schrödinger's cat!

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Cicada 3301: The web's toughest and most creepy crypto-puzzle is BACK

Allan George Dyer
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A cunning way to entrap enquiring crypto-experts by an international terrorist organisation.

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Scientists discover supervolcano trigger that could herald humanity's doom

Allan George Dyer
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Boffin

I can't help thinking that the guy in the photo, watching the experimental magma rig, is a little optimistic about the ability of his safety specs to protect him if the rig fails and releases 1700 degree C rock at 36000 atms into the room.

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Chinese Jade RABBIT SIGHTED ON MOON by NASA probe

Allan George Dyer
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Re: It's a conspiracy I tell you...

... and did you notice how the Chinese deliberately said they were going to a different part of the moon, because they weren't sure they could get access to NASA's sound stage? That proves it!

The soup-proof spacesuit, please.

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Eggheads give two robots vodka and tell them to text each other FOR SCIENCE

Allan George Dyer
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Pint

When do we get the RFC for IP over chemical networks?

Though I suspect that this could cause severe degradation in reliability for RFC1149 - based networks in heterogeneous environments.

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Parents can hide abortion, contraception advice from kids, thanks to BT's SEX-ED web block

Allan George Dyer
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Black Helicopters

Re: Looking at

'Think you mean "de-education"!'

That is exactly the kind of ungood-think these rules are being implemented to prevent. Please relax, your offspring will shortly be be volunteering you for some double-plus good re-education. We anticipate your shouts of joy as our friendly re-education staff whisk you away in comfortable, specially-designed clothing.

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Worried OpenSSL uses NSA-tainted crypto? This BUG has got your back

Allan George Dyer
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Holmes

A Warning...

to companies that insist on FIPS validation.

Just because it comes with a nice certificate does not guarantee it is perfect.

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Mosquitoes, Comets and Vampires: The de Havilland Museum

Allan George Dyer
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Joke

Re: Mosquito

"bomb bay in these Mosquitos could also be used as an improvised cabin"

- and you wouldn't DARE complain about the in-flight service or delays!

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Drawers full of different chargers? The IEC has a one-plug-to-rule-them-all

Allan George Dyer
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Facepalm

Obligatory XKCD http://xkcd.org/927/

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NSA alleges 'BIOS plot to destroy PCs'

Allan George Dyer
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Joke

Corrected headline: "NSA Admits Conspiring with China"

Well, Plunkett said “The NSA working with computer manufacturers..." and China does all the manufacturing, right?

And was the "virus" called UEFI?

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Oz couple get jiggy in pharmacy in 'banned' condom ad

Allan George Dyer
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Re: Penis Head

That would be Gordon Gallup's paper in Evolutionary Psychology

http://www.epjournal.net/wp-content/uploads/ep021223.pdf

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Allan George Dyer
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Re: Who would want to ask for a 'Small'?

But beavers should be moist, if you're doing it right.

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Allan George Dyer
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Re: Who would want to ask for a 'Small'?

Ah, I see the problem - a condom is not for keeping your sporron dry.

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Eagle steals crocodile-cam, records video selfie

Allan George Dyer
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Re: Bloody eagles

So are the seals joy-riding?

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False widow spiders in guinea pig slaughter horror

Allan George Dyer
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Black Helicopters

RAID? Re: still...

Redundant Array of Insect Destroyers

You want more spiders?

icon: needs another leg.

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VIOLENT video games make KIDS SMARTER – more violent the BETTER

Allan George Dyer
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Re: Surprisingly good study

"click instead of punch, which can make you less effective at hurting people"

Isn't the gun the original point and click user interface?

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Sysadmin job ad: 'If you don’t mind really bad work-life balance, this is for you'

Allan George Dyer
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Facepalm

"fish tanks (don't ask)" Re: General IT

Then let me guess... someone asked why the screensaver was stuck on.

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Doctor Who Episode One: Through a glass. Darkly

Allan George Dyer
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Boffin

Patrick Troughton’s first outing is still broadcast...

and somewhere well beyond Alpha Centuri. We just need FTL travel and a really sensitive receiver to pick it up.

How about cloud-funding FTL research with the purpose of recovering lost Dr. Who episodes?

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Google India's viral tear-jerker vid said to mirror student short

Allan George Dyer
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Having just got an Indian visa...

I can confirm that doing so was less well-organised, and more complicated than other visas I've applied for, such as China. Plus, the questions indicated they were very interested in family or other connections with Pakistan and other near-neighbours. A sign in the visa office indicated that a visa for a Pakistan national would take longer, if it was granted at all.

However, anyone working at Nokia's headquarters and soon to be at a loose end might like to know that Finnish passport holders can get a visa on arrival.

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Lavabit founder: Feds ORDERED email providers to stay open

Allan George Dyer
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Re: Off the top of my head.

When you read that Sherlock Holmes story, did you miss the part where he cracked the crypto system you're proposing?

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PlayStation 4 BLUE LIGHT OF DEATH blamed on power cords, TV sets, butterflies in China

Allan George Dyer
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Boffin

Re: Seriously...

No! "Have you tried turning it off and on again?" is the second advice. The first should be, "Have you turned it on?"

(The flashing blue light might just be a reflection from the Police car behind them...)

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JESUS battery HEALS itself - might make electric cars more practical

Allan George Dyer
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I hope

that "astronishingly strong and stretchy polymer" has some interesting ion porosity properties, or they've just replicated rubber.

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MANUAL STIMULATION: Whack me with some proper documentation

Allan George Dyer
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Postcode? Re: spaces in credit card number

I hate forms that insist on a postcode. And insist on a city. I end up with:

City: Hong Kong

Postcode: HK

Country: Hong Kong [You put it in the select list!]

And is it too much trouble to actually say what phone number format you expect? Country code or no country code? Is "+" accepted?

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Norks EXECUTE 80 for watching DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES

Allan George Dyer
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"Norks EXECUTE 80 by watching DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES"

There, fixed that for you.

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Facebook hitches skirt, flashes 'Cisco-slaying' open network blade

Allan George Dyer
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Re: ummm..

@AC, Mr Wood only asked for "more confidence", not "absolute confidence", so it shouldn't be to difficult. Today we have zero confidence, all you need is one independent security expert to look at the latest version of the open source code and say, "I didn't find any backdoors" and you have greater than zero confidence. It's a (small) improvement.

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Falkland Islands almost BLITZED from space by plunging European ion-rocket craft

Allan George Dyer
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Joke

Third question Re: Two Questions

If it is a WEEE compliant method, how soon will companies by queuing up to blast their junk into space so that they can avoid local recycling charges?

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Oooh! My NAUGHTY SKIRT keeps riding up! Hello, INTERNET EXPLORER

Allan George Dyer
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Now I can't use IE...

Health & Safety has some issues with lethal lasers in an office environment, and the wife would start looking for a lethal laser if I brought Inori home.

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OK, maths wonks: PRIME TIME has arrived

Allan George Dyer
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If we're not using 1...

can I suggest

2357-11-13 17:19:23

as the last possible series of consecutive prime numbers without leading zeros packed into a valid datetime string. Only having 12 valid months makes it difficult to find other sequences.

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Allan George Dyer
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Joke

Of course 1 is prime, and I always use it as q when I'm generating RSA key pairs (using it as p would be too obvious), because no-one else would think of doing that. Until now, Ooops!

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Allan George Dyer
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How about doing it year/month/day, and adding a timezone...

13-11-07 05:03:02 UTC+01

in Central Europe today. Did anyone point this out 300 years ago, when we could have used the four-digit year:

1713-11-07 05:03:02 GMT+01

Because GMT was defined in 1675, UTC is a Jonny-come-lately from 1972.

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