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* Posts by Allan George Dyer

999 posts • joined 12 Jun 2009

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Plucky Rockall podule man back on (proper) dry land

Allan George Dyer
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Trollface

But Atlanta is mostly local flights, Heathrow is almost all International.

Yeah, troll. 'Round here we have the "Worlds longest combined road-rail suspension bridge". Choose the category carefully, and anything can be a world-beater.

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GoTenna: How does this 'magic' work?

Allan George Dyer
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Paris Hilton

If your smartphone is in Airplane Mode...

shouldn't your goTenna be in “Airplane Mode” too?

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Cops nab suspect using CREEPY facial recog system

Allan George Dyer
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Re: innocent or guilty

What? Mad Magazine is a front for the US Government?

Or the US Government is a front for Mad Magazine?

Perhaps that explains a lot.

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Allan George Dyer
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Black Helicopters

Re: My first thought was ...

To conceal the story the name has been changed to Adolf Beck in all online copies:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adolph_Beck_case

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Unbridled BONKING and rampant ROGERING at YOUR office!

Allan George Dyer
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Facepalm

And the next headline...

Alistair Dabbs thinks sickening and obscene images on Instagram are acceptable.

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Microsoft: You NEED bad passwords and should re-use them a lot

Allan George Dyer
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Holmes

You heard it here first...

So Microsoft's researchers have been reading El Reg? I've seen the same advice discussed here endlessly.

OK, OK, I participated in some of the discussions.

If a user is willing to use a bad password on your system, it implies they don't care about the data they are entering. Either the data in your system is worthless, or you're trusting the wrong people.

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Microsoft's anti-bug breakthrough: Wire devs to BRAIN SCANNERS

Allan George Dyer
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Paris Hilton

Wait - How are they planning to use this?

In field-tests on one team of developers:

Dilbert - Constant levels of high stress = code tagged as consistently bad

Alice - Generally low stress, with occasional peaks off the scale

Wally - Zero stress all the time = code tagged as perfect

Next generation systems all coded by Wally.

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Native Americans KILLED AND ATE DUMBO, say archaeologists

Allan George Dyer
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Re: Lovable Gomphothere

Whistle pig? What's a whistle pig? Ahh, google is my friend… "WhistlePig is a 100 proof 100% straight rye whiskey that has been aged for 10 years."

Don, how much "whistle pig" have you been drinking?

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NEW Raspberry Pi B+, NOW with - count them - FOUR USB ports

Allan George Dyer
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Thumb Up

Double Fix

Four mounting holes! Excellent!

40 pin GPIO - I've got a new use for all those old IDE cables!

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Today's Facebook fury: Coppertone-like baby pic ban baffles US mom

Allan George Dyer
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Re: Asymmetric laws and asymmetric justice

I'm not planning to get pregnant, I'm too busy buying tropical fish in Liverpool.

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The Windows 8 dilemma: Win 8 or wait for 9?

Allan George Dyer
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Coffee/keyboard

What else?

Taste?

Smell?

icon: "of course I spilt coffee on it, I was trying to write a letter"

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What the world needs now is... a Bluetooth-enabled baby's dummy

Allan George Dyer
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Guessing game:

You baby has

i) a high fever

ii) thrown the pacifier into your tea (again)

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In space no one can hear you scream, but Voyager 1 can hear A ROAR

Allan George Dyer
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I don't blame NASA for making do...

the call-out fee for repair would be astronomical.

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Panic like it's 1999: Microsoft Office macro viruses are BACK

Allan George Dyer
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Headmaster

Re: Really Shitty Impractical Security Advice..

If you're pooling data from hundreds of different sources, then it isn't content *in* the Excel sheet. I just deserve a pedant alert for that, but, if you're *receiving* the document, how many of those data sources are accessible to you? If it's from outside your company?

So, you're unlikely to get useful results from an Excel spreadsheet with macros unless you already know everything about it (who wrote it, what the macros do, what data sources they're using). Enabling macros on a file you've just received from an unknown source because the file asks you to is foolish.

Additional pedant point, Szappanos said "document", and every one of the example attacks in his paper is a Word file. For ordinary users, a document *is* a Word file, and I'd be interested to hear of scenarios where sending a Word document with macros is good for the recipient.

Szappanos was offering foolproof advice. What does this mean for the half of the world's banking systems that are running on cobbled-together VBA, have they learnt anything from RBS?

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You 'posted' a 'letter' with Outlook... No, NO, that's the MONITOR

Allan George Dyer
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Coat

Re: Regarding the terminology problems...

In the same vein, 'Hit "Enter" to exit' and 'To shutdown, click "Start"'.

I think I'll get a set of keycaps marked "Any" for the next user that asks where the Any key is.

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Allan George Dyer
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Megaphone

Re: Turn off the computer, then turn it on again...

@Darryl: Have an upvote. I've been telling some people for years that they need to tell me the error message, but it hasn't sunk in. How can I say a simple, eight-word sentence and not be understood? Am I mute, and only I hear myself, in the privacy of my mind?

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NSA man says agency can track you through POWER LINES

Allan George Dyer
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Re: Next

Oh, they've been doing that for years. Remember all the alligator in the sewer stories? An alligator can carry a lot of monitoring equipment. It also allowed them to develop a highly-profitable handbag business for additional slush funds.

Yes, the one with the tinfoil hat. No, that's NOT my handbag.

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Allan George Dyer
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Black Helicopters

Re: "You would need a tap on every one of thousands of transformers..."

@JefftPoooh: Umm, no, the variations are transient, caused by large loads switching (e.g. lift motors). These will affect the locations fed by the same substation, but the substation acts as a filter, so little disturbance goes beyond. Therefore the pattern of disturbances will be unique to the substation, but you need a tap there to record it.

It sounds just about feasible, with enough resources, but it would be a lot easier to profile journalists' recording equipment, and follow them around. There's probably less dedicated journalists than substations.

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LIFE on Titan: If there's one thing aliens HATE, it's a SALTY BALL

Allan George Dyer
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Re: ummmm...

Yes, halophiles. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Halophile

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Lords try shoehorning law against REVENGE SMUT into justice bill

Allan George Dyer
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Use the Data Protection Laws

The data protection principles already cover this:

Fair collection: no secret filming,

Use of personal data: consensual bedroom shots assumed to be for private enjoyment of participants*

Duration of retention: Not kept longer than necessary. When the relationship ends, the original purpose (shared enjoyment by participants in the relationship) has ended, so the data must be destroyed*.

Security: protection from unauthorised access. If you're keeping the pics, it's your responsibility to make sure they don't "accidentally" leak onto the internet

* unless there is another agreement.

There are grey areas (topless beach is a public place, but a deserted beach plus a telephoto lens?), and things to be worked out (can you secretly film, then ask for consent?), but it fits, and simply brings more personal data under the same protection.

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BOFH: You can take our lives, but you'll never take OUR MACROS

Allan George Dyer
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Windows

Re: the only joke about regular expressions

No-one remembers the one about them being indistinguishable from modem line noise?

I must be getting old.

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27 Data-Slurping Facts BuzzFeed Doesn't Want You To Know!

Allan George Dyer
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Let's see...

If I get fewer inane quiz invitations after I post this on Facebook.

I love my friends and relatives, even the ones who post BuzzFeed quizzes.

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You are ALL Americans now: Europeans offered same rights as US folks in data slurp leaks

Allan George Dyer
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Big Brother

Brought to you by the US Travel Industry

Europeans can file for redress in America.

What with the US having inferior privacy protection and multilevelled justice, I'm surprised Holden could keep a straight face when he announced this.

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EXPOSED: Massive mobile malware network used by cops globally

Allan George Dyer
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Re: Firewalling cell phone data connections

Until you plugged in to an infected computer...

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'Most sophisticated DDoS' ever strikes Hong Kong democracy poll

Allan George Dyer
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There is an "abstain" option. The other three options are proposals by different pro-democracy groups. I suppose a pro-Beijing group could have made a proposal and demanded it should be added to the list, but they were all too busy saying (shouting outside the polling stations in some cases) the poll was "illegal". Unofficial, yes; not legally binding, yes, but Illegal? Why?

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Allan George Dyer
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Re: "Security outfit"

@Hans 1 - These days, the PLA is already here, (defending us against invaders?) in their barracks. They could remove their insignia and take to the streets, but the Police and/or the PLA would be expected to respond to unidentified gunmen roaming around, so really not deniable.

Beijing already has the physical power, but they promised to let HK run its internal affairs. The plan appears to be to appear to keep that promise, while fixing the elections so they have control. They can't do that if enough people say it's a sham.

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Allan George Dyer
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China agreed in 1990 that Hong Kong would be able to elect its leader by universal suffrage, but is trying to weasel out by "approving" the candidates... which sock puppet do you want to vote for?

This poll is HK's response: we want a meaningful election with a real choice of candidates.

Also worth mentioning: Udomain and Amazon were also providing services for the poll, but dropped out when the DDoS happened. Kudos to Cloudflare for handling it.

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'I'm for free speech!' brave Boris bellows, bewildered by 'right to be forgotten' bluster

Allan George Dyer
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Childcatcher

He wants people to weed out the truth?

As in remove the unwanted stuff, leaving the lies to grow?

Please, someone call the Metaphor Police!

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Missiles-on-rooftops Brit spy Farr: UK gov can slurp your Facebook, Twitter ... What of it?

Allan George Dyer
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Summary

"Please use cloud services, it makes both the technical and legal aspects easy for us" - spies everywhere

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Supermodel Lily Cole: 'I got a little bit upset by that Register article'

Allan George Dyer
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Re: She reads El Reg!

11/10 is also a fraction, but we could accuse them of improper use of maths.

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Apple: REIGN OF FIRE coming to Europe courtesy of old iPhone chargers

Allan George Dyer
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Facepalm

Where do you think Apple's factories are?

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Toyota catches up to William Gibson with LED hood

Allan George Dyer
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and the default password is?

I predict a high demand for services that will put your chosen image on someone-else's car. Especially if it changes back when the ignition is off or a door is open, so the driver never realises.

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Ohio man cuffed AGAIN for shagging inflatable pool raft

Allan George Dyer
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IT Angle

Re: Had to be a Lester article...

But lilo has been replaced by grub.

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IoT cup claims 'instant' identification of what's in it

Allan George Dyer
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Amazing!

It can tell the difference between water and Budweiser!

A version that detected Rohypnol would be useful.

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Han Solo headed for lengthy stay in bacta tank after Bay Door Control cockup

Allan George Dyer
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Facepalm

Was the doorman called Hal?

I was expecting at least one 2001 cross-reference with the Bay Door in the headline.

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'Hashtag' added to the OED – but # isn't a hash, pound, nor number sign

Allan George Dyer
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Coffee/keyboard

Just to muddy the waters further...

In the late '80s, an instructor for the new phone system insisted that it was the "gate" key, because of its resemblance to a garden gate. I never agreed; for one thing, without a diagonal, the gate would sag.

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CIA rendition jet was waiting in Europe to SNATCH SNOWDEN

Allan George Dyer
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Thumb Up

Impressive amateur tracking work...

Have they any data for MH370?

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Yes. Facebook will KNOW you've been browsing for smut

Allan George Dyer
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Black Helicopters

Re: Ha ha

Or you were influenced to play the song by the subconscious effect of the title.

The Reg is part of a secret Illuminati viral advertising campaign to promote the Eagles!!! (see icon)

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SLOW DOWN: Insecure-by-design software on road

Allan George Dyer
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Alert

"Intermittent Tube Closure"

OK, possibly* useful information if you are in London, but I fail to see the relevance 8,000 miles away where it is often displayed on a tunnel approach in Hong Kong.

* Well, not useful at all. How long will the tube be closed? Should I turn off now and take another route?

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We're ALL Winston Smith now - and our common enemy is the Big Brother State

Allan George Dyer
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Joke

Allow me to upvote your dissing of the "utterly terrifying concept of Newspeak". Commentards would flame anyone who used it.

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Allan George Dyer
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Re: Niven has this one covered

Whose Freedom, whose Security? Orwell was warning about the ruling group minimising the freedom of the underlings to ensure their own security. Niven's law holds for this limited case, but you get something quite different if the security of everyone is considered, and society switches to a state where there is no constant ruling group.

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Whoops! Google's D-Day Doodle honors ... Japan

Allan George Dyer
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Not parochial enough?

So Google is apologising that an international Doodle was shown instead of a local one? Local to where? UK, UK+USA, Europe? Surely the Doodle is a little, "you might find this interesting", not a list of the 365/366 of "The Most Important Things Ever". Perhaps showing a non-local doodle (and that means both a Honinbo Shusaku doodle outside of Japan as much as a D-Day doodle outside of Europe/N.America) can bring us together more. Trying to attach some sort of blame for WWII atrocities to a man who died tending cholera patients 80 years earlier is ridiculous.

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I am NOT a PC repair man. I will NOT get your iPad working

Allan George Dyer
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Re: It wouldn't matter what you tell 'em...

I'd guess a good response for the neighbour's dog problem is, "Its a territory thing, if you like, I can get the dog handlers to bring the police dogs round to crap on your lawn, then your neighbour's dog won't dare."

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SPB's mountaintop HQ menaced by WOLVES

Allan George Dyer
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Coat

Distraught boyfriend with handkerchief momento?

If he was close enough to respond to the screams, why didn't they eat him too? And no remains? Seriously? Very tidy wolves then. Is it too late to get a forensic pathologist to uncover the jealous murder and burial?

The one with the Silent Witness DVDs in the pocket.

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Google's driverless car: It'll just block our roads. It's the WORST

Allan George Dyer
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Re: Platooooooon - HALT!

And other vehicles on the junction. I've heard it's quite unpleasent to start prompt on green, to get hit by the 18-wheeler that thought it could beat the lights…

This thread is developing a Spanish Inquisition / What have the Romans… tone to it. Yes, the one with the dead parrot, please.

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Spy platform zero day exposes cops' wiretapped calls

Allan George Dyer
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Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?

Now we know, the hackers do.

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Fat-fingered admin downs entire Joyent data center

Allan George Dyer
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Joke

Shock collars?

He makes it sound like he tried. Guess they should invest in waterproof keyboards that can be operated with flippers.

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After the cyberpunks, prepare to fight a new wave of nasties

Allan George Dyer
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Re: A huge error in the article

It was a threat to the user. The user sees the tick on the shield, believes they are protected and makes decisions on that basis. A false sense of security can be very dangerous.

Not a "huge error", perhaps a grey area.

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Watch this: IPv4 must die! So let's beef up on IPv6

Allan George Dyer
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Re: We really should have larger IPv6 deployments by now...

Because ISPs like charging a monthly fee for each static IPv4 address? They also charge a premium for IPv6 connectivity.

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eBay slammed for daft post-hack password swap advice

Allan George Dyer
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Facepalm

World Password Day website

It seems that a length of 14 alone, e.g. '11111111111111', will get rated as Strong, but to get Best you need a lower case letter, upper case letter, number and special character, e.g. 'bT@11111111111' or 'Kevin6@gmail.com'. I wonder if anyone decided to use their email address as their password on this website's advice?

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