when they're dead
.... they're called hookers.
673 posts • joined 11 Jun 2009
.... they're called hookers.
There seems to be an industry drive by journalists to give mixed stats that cannot be easily understood by anyone with even a basic understanding of maths...
"According to the big brains at Forrester, 59 per cent of laptop users at work spend more than three hours using the device, but only 22 per cent of their time on a fondleslab."
So, some laptop users spend more than 3 hours on laptops... so the amount of time spent on their "fondleslabs" should also be in hours. "22% of their time" cannot be compared with 3 hours.
Really, El reg, i would have expected more than a BBC level of tech reporting!!!!
SEO companies treat the the concept of "Sales" as a dirty word that is someone else's problem.
As a web developer and owner, I have had far too much contact with these charlatans who really can't seem to connect the dots... it is the nebulous business model sites (like facebook and twitter) that only care about traffic... most of the SMEs are looking for SALES, CUSTOMERS... traditional things like that.
Its like marketing, but even less accountable (if that is possible).
I hope they all disappear up each other's butts.
Of the people's whose email has now been restored, how many will be spending this weekend taking steps to stop this in future.... probably only a handful... and i bet about 0% will actually spend any money on paying a local techie to do it for them (y'know those people at the indie IT shop that advertise virus removal and the like).
Like the other poster said above... EE can be expected to F*uck up, if you are using a 10 year defunct ISP email you deserve these problems.
This is the basis of all the "more women in IT" bollocks... because someone somewhere thinks "the man" is too gender specific.
I'm not telling you my password but I'll give you a clue ... it about 20,000 words long and its the Apple T&Cs... after the UK's GCHQ said to use more nemonic passwords, i opted for that one.
Unless it is encrypted by the client, it is not end to end encryption.
Also if they scan such messages for malicious code... (as most email providers do) is that reading the message?
I agree with you that its hazy at best and a cash driven spurious law suit at worst.
I think there are lots of words that need some definition in this (based on previous re-definition for lawyers)...
"Private", "Direct", "Reading"...
I would argue that the only true private direct messages that can be read are ones you write in code on a piece of paper and hand to your buddy in high school... (as recently seen in that Turing movie).
Autoplay video files burn my mobile bandwidth more than anything else... mobile bandwidth for me is email and the odd pub-quiz-google... so i don't buy much (still pay $ for it though, not cents that i am "stealing").
Since we need to be looking and clicking on your ads how about someone (maybe me) writes a little ad clicker bot... hit ads hundreds of times to make them simply unviable and bring the ad-peddler into disrepute.
Or, sites could be responsible about their advertising... like this site... but then we would not have new words in the lexicon like "click-bait". Actually, now i think about it, its how much i trust a site that decides if i click on their ads....
Reach out.... i can't stand that phrase and insist on taking it literally whenever it is said... its usually the Merkins who use it and then get confused about my confusion over "reaching out, what through your screen..you know i am 6000 miles away right?"... then i come in with the killer .. "Ta very much"
I am going to register this company now and start to get going on it... so that when do have to start mining our own landfill sites (as we've run out of stuff to make new telly with) i might have the start of a monopoly... until then those who have a clue (El Reg readers) will save their pennies on buying new hardware to get new software... and the rest will put their platinum in bin.
It was only 60 or 70 years ago that the original gold rush ended in northern america and already their stuff is being re-mined as we can now afford to get the stuff they left behind.
.. so how do i (a citizen of EU) decide which of the commissioners agendas i want to support and vote for it accordingly... oh wait, I can't vote for stuff in Europe... I have to trust that these guys represent my interests... yay, lets export this "democracy" to evildoers.
(bored with EU and want Brexit just to shake things up a bit)
So, this is everyone's secondary system right, they are doing their own redundancy... or are the tweeting customers expecting C4L to manage ALL redundancy?
(I'd still be bitching, but worth pointing out that its never down to the supplier alone).
I can only think about the South Park episode where the Japanese explain the kill whales and dolphins because it was a whale and a dolphin flying the Enola Gay.
I have undfortunately been an EE customer for a week now, and i cannot find any way to contact them atall about anything..
Call 150 they say, but there is no humans on that line, you can go to tech support and pay 25p per call... which is nice, but you can't actually get to a real person.
EE are terrible, i don't even have problems (yet) but they refuse to help in any way .... with anything.. they also text me daily (4 times) to tell me i need to buy more credit... something a PAYG phone would need like a car needs fuel... so rather redundant and annoying. F**k ee.. fortunately, i can put a second sim in my (Samsung) phone because i bought it in Asia where the phone is always separate so the models available reflect consumer requirements, not telco requirements.
"Procurement"..... "Procurement"..... "Procurement"..... "Procurement"..... "Procurement".....
do i win?
I was recently informed (true or not, I don't know but sound legit)... that most music videos now are funded by the product placing advertisers... every video has the latest phone/toy/gadget that someone wants you to buy.... so assuming everyone abides by the ratings (the ideal scenario that politicians plan in), then sooner or later less young impressionable eyes will be hitting these adverts... so they will enforce the PG videos?
To user:- "Why did you click on that nasty looking thing on this dodgy website?".
User: "It told me to download it and said it was all ok.... just like MS do :)".
That would require someone in Government who even understands what the problem is... no hope in UK then.... they are just a bunch of ignorant oldies who's kids use the internet... and who themselves think that IT is something to do with Candy Crush (played on ipads during work time).
Can we introduce a minimum qualification for any IT related decision... too many idiots make laws about technology when they have no clue themselves...
When can we have personally liable politicians.... you make a stupid decision without much advice and waste time, money, people's lives... etc
Shoot em all... except the ones who can work a computer beyond playing candy crush when they should be working (ref required... but it was on el reg.)
Phew... i thought i missed this week's copy and paste rant against anything facebook by some old granddad who "doesn't do facebook"... so arguably doesn't really have a relevant point of view.
Also thanks for the insult because you are clearly more intelligent than EVERYONE by hiding in your facebook free cave (nothing like a self righteous IT guy to prove a stereotype).
Really, YAWN... your views are soooo out dated you might aswell be decrying flat screens in favour of CRT. And telling anyone who will listen must really make you popular at the bingo!!!
Yes, the internet in general does not protect your data so instead of wearing your tinfoil hat and sitting in the shed perhaps (like the rest of us) you can figure out a way to work with it to your advantage.
For instance;- only put things on facebook that you would be happy published in the national newspaper (crazy idea, but with a small amount of intelligence it can be managed... even by us idiots).
I use facebook quite happily, i have some vague attempts at privacy turned on... just to stop common browsing of my stuff, but i am in no doubt that a 12 year script kiddie could be in my account in seconds if he/she so desired.
The benefits however are that i keep in touch with my friends around the world without having to actually speak to them or email etc. (I only have friends on FB i have already met in real life).
I don't have to email photos to anyone anymore.
Organising to meet people in a group is easy.
I never have to sit through holiday photos ("[lie] yeah i saw them on facebook, mate").
I don't have to remember birthdays and in fact don't even have to buy a card... just type a heartless "Happy Birthday" when facebook prompts me.
If your life is so bereft of anything good that you can only go around telling everyone that facebook is evil, then i pity you and your re-runs of Blake7 on a Saturday night.
Don't call me an idiot because i made different choices to you.... as that just shows you up, not me.
... much to their annoyance when they are trying to get on with their main business that relies on their database working as expected.
Yep, Mum from Futurama fits (credit - a post somewhere above this one).
As has been said on here many times, you cannot change your fingerprints.
Once your fingerprints are compromised what do you do, thank HTC for their broad and non-personal apology (if they issue one)?
If a load of user accounts are compromised and then everyone updates their password, the attacker's password data is useless. Not so with fingerprints... they just need another half arsed attack later to get some more unchangable data and then another minor compromise ... none of the stolen data on finger prints gets old.. its valid data until you die.
My bank give me 2 part auth with a rotating RSA key style dongle... this must be a better direction to be going right?
I think both sides in this have some valid points, but its not like they are going to agree on it anytime soon.
However, what this points out is that google's search is not actually that good, i am always getting old results.. pages from 4 or 5 years ago and when you are searching about IT matters eg. looking up an API or how to use a particular python function, old forum posts and outdated code get really tedious.
Shouldn't google be saying "this is not an issue because we have now factored DATE, into our search" ... something that seemingly has eluded them for years.
....even though the US does not meet the EU’s adequacy standards on data protection.
So why didn't we stop letting them process data?
If the eu makes a rule and fails to enforce it or stand behind it then by definition the eu is without any use.
I thought the apple guidelines say an app has to be useful. ... ie. Have a use.
All the places i have worked in IT have had female tech people, less numbers than male, but there nonetheless.
Also women use IT in non-technical jobs like anyone else and in their personal lives like anyone else and they are no better or worse at using IT than non-technical men. It is simply that they don't want to do that job... whats so hard to believe... I don't want a job in fashion because i think its nonsense (wearing what someone tells you because everyone else is), not because i think its a female (or gay) dominated industry although it is.
There is an automatic "security" setting in alot of versions of OSX that stops you installing stuff from anywhere but the App store, you have to go in and manually change this in settings to allow me to "install from anywhere i damn well please, thank you"..... (also known as the internet), so presumably an app that uses this exploit was downloaded by YOU at YOUR OWN RISK, because Apple told you to only go to the App store and you thought you knew better ;)
... Why didn't Linus just call up someone at google or perhaps even send an email, I am sure he knows *someone that could allow him to bypass the lack of customer service.
I have alot of respect for this guy's skills and what he has done, but I only seem to hear about him going nuts about something or at someone.... is he Steve Balmer's long lost brother, raised by the kind and loving people of Finland, thus not being the same evil Steve?
Linus, a nice guy but calm down, given the work on the kernel never ends, he of all people must know computers are not yet perfect!
...welcome to iOS or Android development :)
Isn't there some grammatical rules for mixing anatomically inspired insults.... It would save some nasty mental images.
This sounds like more than just a marketing ploy given that MS is moving as much as it can online (trying to copy google i suppose) and they are trying to find ways to ensure that users are online whenever possible otherwise the online experience doesn't work so well. For example the recent shift of Office to this strange online/offline chimeara in the face of many people saying "but its always been fine just on my computer".
Not having to shout your passwords across the room will end the fun game of joke passwords, my favourite is setting the password to "whatdidyousay"
They keep pushing this and it's kinda required to have a Facebook page for your business these days but this just shows that if you are like most of us who post nonsense for our friends to see then it doesn't matter about the "engagement"
... and for the people on this site who just say fb is bad and they never had an account etc, if you actively think you are publishing to the world and post accordingly, it's actually quite a useful way of avoiding talking to people directly . .. its all down to how you want to use it, not how it uses you!
While kickstarter is not a bad idea, it is part of a genre of businesses on the web that succeed due to removing the need for regulation or legislation.
Uber dodge licensing of taxis (thus reducing costs and consumer protections), job sites like peopleperhour.com and guru.com dodge employment protections for what effectively becomes their workforce and airbnb.com dodge the regulations that Thomas Cook are currently having to deal with.
All these services can be good for the consumer, i am not against innovation and market disruption, but thinking that somehow all that red tape business had previously was just a problem and offered nothing in consumer protection at best naive and at worst eroding years of balance in industries.
I expect some down votes for this comment, but I am just pointing out the bad sides to such online services where a small company that does little more than build a website (albeit a clever one), rake in loads of cash when the people who actually put their work or money on the line get no protection anymore.
So as i see it, either drones get obligatory AI to ensure they don't go into FAA airspace (or equivalent elsewhere in the world) or boing and aircoach get to put "freakin lasers" on their planes with AI to zap drones.
I personally want the second one... just because it would be cool to see, especially if they beamed it to that nav-map they usually show on flights.
* not on sharks, but hey, lasers are cool on their own though right?
Oh and to address some of the "could a swallow carry a coconut" questions above, i seem to remember an experiment in the UK when they were testing if a chicken could smash the window of a fast moving train.... the answer came out yes everytime since they used frozen chickens in the tests.
.. fines of up to 2% of annual turnover....
That makes me feel so much better when my data is lost, Angela Merkel or (who-the-f**k-ever) definitely needs the cash more than those wronged?
... just give Theresa May more ideas.
In the UK apparently you have to pass GSCE Maths to get anywhere... yet, no-one ever seems to notice that asking maybe 100 people a question and then extrapolating it to 60,000,000 may have something called a "margin or error".....
I actually enjoy adverts for beauty products now, first they introduce whole new words to the language and then they say 90% of people love it....followed by really small print saying "but we only asked 87 people"... (and at least 3 of them said f**k off).
I am a old jaded computer guy of 37 (yeah, i served 3 tours on win95, but i don't want to talk about it) and there is exactly nothing MS can say about any windows that is more believable than your average politician...
... yet with the most promise...
Sadly if you don't use endless silicon valley software fart-up apps that only the coolest of cool kids use, then its really quite useless at automating anything.
It can tell me if someone lists something on etsy, but it cannot let me look for a standard bit of data on a random website... only choose from the list of "cool" sites you can be choosing..
I cant even remember what i wanted it to do, but as a result of it failing so fashionably, i wrote a small python script and banished it forever.
Still, i am commenting on an iWatch article... i have already wasted enough life for a few more cigarettes.
Er, what about remembering last week when a comic convention was attacked.... they had been watching one guys since 2006... didn't seem to make any difference there... only local law enforcement dealt with some people shooting... only later was it "terrorsim".
Where in this very recent example did all the surveillance alter the outcome?
... and he can't hire techies.... sounds like there is another problem there!
...could that be from the binding chains of debt users encurred to get the latest iSawYouComing device.
Like me, all the other commentors on this thread are smarter than your average person, so we saw this coming as it has come before in IT.
The rest of the world need to work through these problems of bricking (kinda) a 3 or 4 year old device due to inability to update.
This has happened with Android phones, now punters look for the updatable ones and manufacturers are getting smarter.
Now the other (or often same) manufacturers of smart TVs need to think more, the stuff they were pushing out a couple of years ago was "anything to get us in the smart TV section of walmart".
They will have punters who are thinking, "i wont buy an xyz again" etc etc ... simple mind of the sell and buy world.
TL:DR ... in a few years time all devices that have anything smart about them will be updatable.
My Mum was a sub-post office owner who worked for the Post Office.
We moved away and she took work helping another Post Office due to her years of experience.
That was the point they introduced Horizon. My own mother reported failings in the system as she was paper based and insisted on double checking everything.
She spoke to other sub postmasters who had written their own little computer systems to use, who also reported discrepencies.
There was more than enough people saying there were problems at launch that anyone smart would think "its a financial system, maybe we should be sure it doesn't loose money"..... but no, all feedback ignored with the statement "it works, no shutup".
There is some serious crimial negligence for the Post Office to hide on this one and it will come out!
I use (in order of amount of use);-
and sometimes Tango
I wish i could standardise on one of them (and that tends to happen a little geographically) but every one uses something different and I become a registered and active user who shows in metrics for most of the chat apps. But they can never count exclusive users... they are more likely to pay.
... and hired for their cost over their knowledge.
Also someone signed off on requirements and I would not be surprised if at some point 'testing' was seen by management as an unnecessary cost...
Developers are still lazy... just not entirely to blame here :)
Any story about facebook and you have the usual "I'm somehow better than everyone because i don't use it" comments.....
I live in Asia and use some local facebook groups for expats and people ask the same questions all the time about where to buy rice in Vietnam and why Sushi isn't cooked etc for which a better search would be ideal.
If you are so against sharing things on the internet then don't.... its really that easy and you are probably not interesting to anyone anyway.
Yeah, but the useful info stops at i7 4930k .. or maybe your radeon card is more interesting.
Bitcoin is a crypto currency, its irrelevant how many floating number calculations your i7 can do. Its all about cryptographic calculations as used in a graphics card. A standard desktop is all but useless for mining....even with all your *[whatever you said about your computer that makes it so amazing].
Yet another fairly obvious idea is being hailed as a patent.
Currently 2nd screen content can be distributed by the main content - this is simply suggesting that it is beamed from somewhere else "at the same time".... right?
Seriously, when i can put in a patent for how to poor water into a glass.
A lot of people on El reg work in IT. This story of extra costs rings true.
No-one ever wanted a female mario or female sonic.
The guy sounds reasonable, they wanted a female character but realised the costs.... simple.
Does anyone really think we live in a world where someone at a game company decided to scarp a female player because they are sexist. Sounds like the media were looking for something to get upset about.