* Posts by Mahatma Coat

1156 posts • joined 11 Jun 2009

Trick-cyclist's claim: I have FOUND how to get GIRLS INTO TECH

Mahatma Coat
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FAIL

Enormous tits

Many of the blokes in IT are enormous tits. It doesn't help.

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Boffins light way to photonic computing with 1PB DVD tech

Mahatma Coat
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Facepalm

Coat's First Law Of Optical Media

Any new and larger optical drive will only have enough capacity to back up the hard drive space you had five years ago.

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Norks taunt, yank Yanks' crank over PRISM: US is 'rights abuse kingpin'

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Alert

Re: I don't know

Which of the two countries are you talking about?

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Soylent days and soylent nights

Mahatma Coat
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Pint

"if it's not chilled, it's utterly disgusting"

Sounds like Australian beer.

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Google launches broadband balloons, radio astronomy frets

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Facepalm

Can't wait until the anti-windfarm brigade see this

And here's how the Google Time Machine visualised the idea over London in the 1940s.

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Reg hack prepares to live off wondergloop Soylent

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Mushroom

Speaking as a vegan...

...I want to know how much they'd pay me to eat this.

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What do you mean WHY is Sony PS4 so pricey in Oz?

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Re: Landfill devices

Obvious fanboi troll is obvious

I wish people would stop repeating these pat little phrases. They add nothing.

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KEEP CALM and Carry On: PRISM itself is not a big deal

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Big Brother

"U.S. government also acquired a back way in"

It's worth remembering that this very organ reported about possible backdoors in Skype some five years ago.

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Apple at WWDC: Sleek new iOS, death of the big cats, pint-sized Mac Pro

Mahatma Coat
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Let me get this straight...

...Windows was uncool because it ran on Intel chips.

Unix was uncool because beardy geeks like it.

Vista was uncool because of the interface.

And now Apple is using all of them,

Apple is the new old.

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CIA-funded upstart: THE TRUTH about Prism and NSA's web snooping

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Devil

Another CIA-funded upstart...

...is Google Earth, aka Keyhole Inc, financed by In-Q-Tel, the venture capital wing of the CIA.

*waves at the spooks*

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New Android plan: Gurn at your phone to unlock it

Mahatma Coat
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Go

I claim prior art

I noticed years ago that a "tongue protrusion" always gained me entry.

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US spyboss: Yes, we ARE snooping on you, but think of the TERRORISTS

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Black Helicopters

Good luck, Theresa May...

...You're going to need all the luck you can get with your steenkin' Snoopers' Charter now.

I need multiple icons for this one but will settle for the black helicopters.

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Culture Sec: You - Google. Where's the off switch for all this filth?

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Facepalm

Tory policy on censorship

Censorship in Turkey = Bad.

Censorship in the UK = Good.

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Who should play the next Doctor? Nominations needed!

Mahatma Coat
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Rustie Lee

Just kidding.

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No FTTH under alternative Oz NBN plan, says Oppn. leader

Mahatma Coat
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FAIL

NBN credibility

It seems the Libs have not a shred left.

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Google nuke thyself: Mountain View's H.264 righteous flame-out

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Devil

A game of trumps

Two big bullies trump one big bully.

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Soyuz brings new crew to International Space Station

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Re: Watching spaceship mating...

I was watching it streamed to my pocket size wireless phone while sitting outside

Not that I'm a fan of the genre but we really need some new science fiction. So much of the old stuff is now everyday fact.

And thanks to Simon for the article or I wouldn't have known about the live feed.

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Mahatma Coat
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Watching spaceship mating...

...whilst sitting at my desk. Humans can sometimes be quite awesome when they put their minds to it.

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Oz opposition says to stop hackers first stop refugee boats

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FAIL

Re: @Mahatma Coat (Really?)

Obviously I pressed a button

Yes, you did. I am a migrant to Australia.

Are you familiar with the term "straw man"?

Are you familiar with the phrase "quoting Miranda Devine isn't a smart way to win a debate"?

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Mahatma Coat
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Re: Really?

Really? Miranda Devine? I actually lol'd.

Let's clear up a few things. One way to reduce the amount of "irregular maritime arrivals" is to not let the refugee boats reach the shore. That is Liberal Party policy.

You'd have to lived under a rock for years to not know how that works. Let the boats sink with huge loss of life such as SIEV-X with 353 dead. Or maybe lie to the nation about refugees threatening to throw children overboard. Or ignore established maritime law. And so on.

Compared to many other countries Australia has very few asylum seekers* arriving by boat but we still bang them up in what amount to concentration camps.

* I use asylum seekers in the true and legal sense, not the Daily Mail frenzy of racism sense.

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Bill Gates: Corporate tax is not a moral issue

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Re: We're in trouble...

Just take some time to look at what his foundation is achieving, then jump off your high horse.

But it's not his money he's giving away. It's the squillions he made by arm twisting manufacturers into making you buy yet another copy of Windows every time you bought a Wintel computer.

It's your money he's giving away.

Saint Bill, my arse.

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DSD's 'don't be stupid' mitigation strategies still work

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Black Helicopters

Reassuring

No, I was looking for that other word that means the opposite of reassuring.

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The Tomorrow People jaunt back to the airwaves

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Devil

Re: Is anyone writing anything new in the entertainment world?

No and this is why I never watch, let alone buy, Hollywood's latest bowel evacuations. It's the same old shit all the time.

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BBC suspends CTO after £100m is WASTED on doomed IT system

Mahatma Coat
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Alert

Here we go

Cue lots of derogatory comments about how crap this all is by people that, despite obviously being fully qualified to design and build such large scale projects, were somehow overlooked for this one.

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Fairphone goes on sale to all

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Hmmm

Anyone managed to squeeze FirefoxOS on one of these?

Jeez, I just looked at the site and saw this:

undefined

Phones sold

21

days left

NaN%

of goal

Nein danke.

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Streaming music works for us, say US and UK indie labels

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Spotify’s CEO is the 10th richest man in the UK music industry

Maybe he doesn't spend all of his profits on payola, hookers, private jets, cocaine and overseas sales conferences.

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Google's Native Code browser tech goes cross-platform

Mahatma Coat
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No need for the joke alert icon.

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Copyright minister admits: Google has better access to No. 10 than me

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FAIL

Re: Don't be evil

A downvote already. I guess government by unelected, tax-avoiding overseas companies is the latest must-have accessory for trendy young things.

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Mahatma Coat
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Devil

Don't be evil

Oh just fuck off, Google, and take your steaming pile of fanbois with you.

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Australia downloads a limping 13 Mbps, says Ookla

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FTTG

Fibre to the Ger.

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Review: HP Pavilion 14 Chromebook

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Linux

Re: Are Chromebooks the new "No OS supplied" option?

Are Chromebooks the new "No OS supplied" option?

Exactly my thought. Rip out the Google shit and install a decent OS.

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Standard Model goes PEAR-SHAPED in CERN experiment

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Matter/anti-matter

Nothing really matters. Anyone can see.

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Good news: Debian 7 is rock solid. Bad news: It's called Wheezy

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Re: Social contract?

Two downvotes? The joke alert icon needs to be more obvious.

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Mahatma Coat
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Joke

Social contract?

Commies.

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TV gesture patent bombshell: El Reg punts tech into public domain

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Devil

The missing one

I'm sure it wasn't an intentional omission from the test dummy design but it didn't allow for "You can shove your shit, over-priced subscription TV up your arse, Rupert".

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Russian geologist claims finding chunks of Tunguska Event invader

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Nonsense, it was a UFO crashing

I read it in an Erich von Däniken book so it must be true.

NB For those of you under 50, Mr v D was to truth in the 70s what the 'Net is in the 21st century. The name Däniken is Swiss German for "utter bollocks".

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Terabit trial gives Telstra some backbone

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Sounds good

When can I get this at home?

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Review: Panasonic Toughpad FZ-G1 WinPro 8 tablet

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Re: Nice looking hardware

It is the fuggliest thing I have seen in a long time.....

iPad owner?

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Ten ancestors of the netbook

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Zenith Minisport

I had one of these around 1990. A4 sized and it used 2" floppies (yes, really, 2" floppies). I still have the floppies somewhere here.

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Pirate Bay docks in Iceland

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I may have dreamed this...

...but aren't Icelandic men outnumbered 2:1 by gorgeous blonde Viking girls? Why would they need porn?

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Cameron: Get those saucy websites off Blighty's public Wi-Fi

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"let our site partners decide themselves"

How about letting the people using the service decide for themselves? They are the ones ultimately paying for it.

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Review: NetAtmo Urban Weather Station

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Re: Toytown

Really? Define "waste of money".

Sodding post edit function timed out on me so here's the rest of my response:

Joking aside, I live in the wettest town in Australia so I know a little bit about rainfall. We average over 4000mm per year with a record peak of over 7000mm. We can sometimes get over 500mm in 24 hours. 500mm is roughly London's annual rainfall, if you want a bit of perspective.

I get my weather info from the BoM Web site and a few natural indicators. When the farmer next door mows his lawn during the wet season it means it will rain within two hours. If the tree frogs start croaking during the day it means it will rain within 15 minutes. And so on.

Weather is about tried and tested observation, not apps with sensors that don't like the rain.

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Mahatma Coat
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Alien

Re: Toytown

Really? Define "waste of money".

Buying a telescope from Dixon's for deep space research.

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Mahatma Coat
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Re: Toytown

About the only thing this does that sticking your head out of the window doesn't achieve is the air quality stuff:

Quite.

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Mahatma Coat
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Re: Toytown

Did he explain why it's a waste of money

Low quality sensors, mainly. If the Bureau of Meteorology or any other met service, could get away with low cost hardware then they would. Example: The anemometer on a decent weather station needs to be a minimum height above ground for any thing approaching accuracy. I would guess that most people couldn't be arsed to install a suitable tower in their garden to complement a 150 quid iPad app.

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Mahatma Coat
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Stop

Toytown

I talked to a weather scientist about personal/automatic weather stations last year. He said anything below AUD25k (GBP16,843) is a waste of money..

His best piece of advice was if you wanted to know what the weather was like simply stick your head out of the window. It's free, up-to-date and highly localised.

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Vint Cerf endorses software-defined networks

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Devil

Vint Cerf

He sounded like a man with a fully functioning crystal ball once. I stopped paying attention when he sold his soul to Google.

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Move over, Mythbusters: Was Archimedes an ancient STEVE JOBS?

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Good article

Nice work, Simon.

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Raspberry Pi space jaunt ends in dramatic mountain rescue

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Well done everyone involved

This is proper boffinry combined with international cooperation that came together over the Internet and all in the name of fun and science.. It's what a less cynical me from a couple of decades ago was hoping for.

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Firefox 'death sentence' threat to TeliaSonera over gov spy claims

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Re: This seems like the opposite of open source...

How does this make them different from the dictators they're trying to strike against... It's still "do what I say or else".

You have a choice of what browser you use. You don't have a choice on what dodgy cert is presented to you.

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