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* Posts by Mahatma Coat

1065 posts • joined 11 Jun 2009

Quit the 2D internet, flee your cave, and GET LAID, barks rock star

Mahatma Coat
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He's quite right

The only thing you'll see in a high street in ten years* is a solitary pound shop with a tumbleweed blowing past.

Support your local shops. They have real jobs inside, real people with real knowledge of the products, not just some unskilled drones picking items from the racks in the latest mega warehouse.

*Possibly less.

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iPad? Pah. Behold the EYEPAD, patented by Sony for the 'PS4'

Mahatma Coat
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"The device is called an EyePad not to primarily annoy Apple"

But it will help and that's surely a good thing.

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Obama says patent trolls 'extort money', pledges reform

Mahatma Coat
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Re: Patents are a wondrous thing...

Patents predate the Renaissance and the scientific revolution, and there is some evidence that a similar idea was present in ancient Greece.

Yes, a patent was granted in Greece for a year (according to Wikipedia). Given the speed of tech advances back then it would be equivalent to maybe a week today. I'd have no problems with that.

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Mahatma Coat
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Devil

Patents are a wondrous thing...

...because no one invented anything before patents existed.

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Apple design bloke Ive finally honoured properly - with Blue Peter badge

Mahatma Coat
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Perhaps he could make a copy...

...and send it to Dieter Rams. Seems only fair.

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BlackBerry booster Alicia Keys blames hacker for iPhone Twitter update

Mahatma Coat
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FAIL

"I've been hacked"

It's the "dog ate my homework" of the digital age.

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Intel's new TV box to point creepy spy camera at YOUR FACE

Mahatma Coat
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Devil

Eric Huggers

Eric bloody Huggers. He seems to lurch from one badly thought out tech nightmare to another.

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Love in the time of the internet: A personal memoir

Mahatma Coat
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Happy

Re: You lost me at...

I have never been on a date where the lady brought along a friend.

I did once. Best date ever.

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Kiwi Coroner says Coca-Cola helped kill woman

Mahatma Coat
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Pint

Not just Coke

Drink as little as six litres of plain old water in a few hours and you may die of water intoxication.

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Still-living, unincarcerated Ted Nugent invited to Barack Obama gig

Mahatma Coat
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Nugent

What a complete arse. He calls himself a survivalist. It must be tough surviving between fat royalty cheques.

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Turkey prepares to hand $5bn to US biz for intelligent electricity

Mahatma Coat
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Mushroom

"Hey, Turkey...

....do what we say or we'll shut down your country with the flick of a switch."

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New Zealand court hands out second peppercorn downloading penalty

Mahatma Coat
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Pirate

Coldplay and Kesha?

There should have been an additional $10,000 fine on grounds of taste.

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George Bush's family emails, pics ransacked - and spewed online

Mahatma Coat
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Bush Koch

Admit it, you sniggered too.

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El Reg contemplates the ultimate cuppa

Mahatma Coat
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Pint

It's a very personal thing...

...But my own preference is Earl Grey left to stew until it's almost cold. No milk or sugar. Great in a hot climate.

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Paper computers: Not mere pulp fiction

Mahatma Coat
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Boffin

Paper wins

I have roughly half a metric tonne of books. Not one has ever failed (apart from one I was reading in the bath and fell asleep). Not one has had a flat battery. Not one has had a blue screen of death. I've never dropped one and thought "shit, I've just lost my entire book collection" as it splintered across the floor. The publisher and retailer don't know when I read their books.

Long live dead trees.

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Google, Mozilla, show off in-browser video chat

Mahatma Coat
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Joke

It's good that Mozilla uses WebRTC...

...but Google seem to be using WebOrrrTC.

And do software people have any other adjectives than "great" and "awesome"?

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Under cap-and-trade, flying is greener than taking the bus

Mahatma Coat
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I suppose it's possible...

...that this bloke is right and everyone is wrong. Statistics aren't exactly my field but, you know...

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We're not making this up: Apple trademarks the SHOP

Mahatma Coat
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Devil

Re: Prior art ?

The Apple shops are very different to all others. There's a far higher concentration of pillocks among staff and customers.

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BT inks 2 more gov-funded broadband deals

Mahatma Coat
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"speeds of at least 2Mbit/s to 90 per cent "

It's good to see them aiming so high.

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Huddled immigrant masses face 'British values' quiz

Mahatma Coat
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Re: Questions Questions

The Alf Garnett Fan Club is in the house.

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Iran develops working ICBM: Intercontinental Ballistic Monkey

Mahatma Coat
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Alien

We need to hurry up and get to Mars to bring some of the mystique back.

I tend to agree but have the feeling that when the ship lands it will probably find a Chinese base there full of children making iPhones. It's be Scott/Amundsen all over again.

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Mahatma Coat
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Re: "before returning safely to Earth"

Silly me. I thought that when the first four words of the article said "Iran’s first monkey astronaut " I thought it meant it was Iran's first monkey astronaut. I shall go to bed without supper tonight feeling suitably chastised..

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Mahatma Coat
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Alien

"before returning safely to Earth"

That's not bad for a first attempt. Certainly better than some countries with bigger budgets managed.

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Brisbane online flood maps woefully inadequate

Mahatma Coat
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FAIL

Maps, schmaps, who stole my comms?

While the south east corner of Queensland was doing the usual headless chicken routine, the rest of the state was without internet, mobile and landline services. An area containing most of the largest cities outside of the capital were in a communication breakdown for 22 hours, and this is the middle of our nasty natural disaster season.

Even worse was that the media didn't report on this until 2pm when the failure occurred at 6pm the previous day. The only reason we found out then was that a journalist asked the state premier about it. The premier said "we didn't know about it until 6am this morning".

Words almost fail me.

And we had the same weather system hit us with flooding several days earlier.

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Mayer! predicts! mobile! personalized! future! for! Yahoo! at! Davos!

Mahatma Coat
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She said "graph"

Graph must be the new cyber.

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Activists urge Skype: Tell us who is spying on us

Mahatma Coat
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Re: A translation is required

para 2 reads: we've given the NSA a back door.

From this very organ in 2008:

Austrian official fuels Skype backdoor rumours

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Mahatma Coat
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Headmaster

A translation is required

"Microsoft has an ongoing commitment to collaborate with advocates, industry partners and governments worldwide to develop solutions and promote effective public policies that help protect people's online safety and privacy."

What this means in plain English is "Fuck off, we don't care".

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Opportunity celebrates nine years on Mars

Mahatma Coat
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This is cool

Something that lasts more than a week after the warranty expires.

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Kernel hacker Alan Cox quits Linux, Intel

Mahatma Coat
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Re: He stuck to his convictions.

Even kernel hackers have to eat occasionally.

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Dotcom says German authors' society canned Mega launch vid

Mahatma Coat
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Re: Not easy to like this guy

he is a businessman hoping to make a few more dollars

Exactly. Had it been otherwise he'd have called himself Kim DotOrg.

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Mahatma Coat
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Views vs Thumbs Up

I believe that the Views count isn't updated in real time but the Thumbs Up are. You may find it rises considerably in a while.

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Oh, those crazy Frenchies: Facebook faces family photo tax in France

Mahatma Coat
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Re: I'm sorry...

useful internal routes were lost

But if it's Ryanair then a flight from say Paris to Marseilles probably took and landed at Calais.

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Mahatma Coat
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It may be crazy...

...but if these greedy tax avoiding companies actually paid a fair amount in the first place then the craziness wouldn't be needed.

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Dead Steve Jobs' patent war threat to Palm over 'no-hire pact'

Mahatma Coat
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Say it ain't so

He was so cute and cuddly and all Apple products are all so perfect and highly original. How could anyone libel the saintly Steve like this?

I feel the need to burn some incense on my Steve shrine.

Om.

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Spanish startup to ship first Mozilla-phones

Mahatma Coat
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Re: Only two questions

I can answer one of those questions:

Keon model: Qualcomm Snapdragon S1 1Ghz

Peak model: Qualcomm Snapdragon S4 1.2Ghz x2.

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Mahatma Coat
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Count me in

Probably a lot less scummy than the competition.

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Australia puts digital frontier at heart of national security plan

Mahatma Coat
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Oh dear...

...they said cyber.

Where's the icon that represents taxes being flushed down the khazi?

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Cabinet Office chucks hefty rulebook at paper-chewing gov bods

Mahatma Coat
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Facepalm

Digital warriors?

I can imagine the interviews for civil servants that want to become digital warriors.

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Mozilla picks JavaScript titan Eich to lead charge against 'Droid, iOS

Mahatma Coat
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Boffin

Re: Java

Plus I think Mozilla has been brainwashed by HTML5 gurus

If it wasn't for Mozilla's righteous and relentless push for standards adherence by browser companies over the last decade we'd all still be writing crappy code that only works in IE5.

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Mahatma Coat
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Re: Eich developed JavaScript for Netscape’s Navigator, for which we thank him

I thank the author of NoScript a bit more.

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Mahatma Coat
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Devil

No surprise

stuck on a quarter of web surfers with the baton handed to Google’s Chrome.

If Google plastered ads for Firefox on everything, as they do with Chrome, I'm sure the market share would be higher.

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Paging Dr Evil: Philips medical device control kit 'easily hacked'

Mahatma Coat
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I wonder who might be on their list?

If only there was someone on their wanted list using cave-based kidney dialysis...

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Google sinks millions into plush new £1bn London HQ

Mahatma Coat
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Headmaster

I bet I can out-pedant you

From Mr Berners-Lee's Web FAQ:

Q: How in fact do you spell World Wide Web?

A: It should be spelled as three separate words, so that its acronym is three separate "W"s. There are no hyphens. Yes, I know that it has in some places been spelled with a hyphen but the official way is without. Yes, I know that "worldwide" is a word in the dictionary, but World Wide Web is three words.

I use "Web" with a capital W to indicate that it is an abbreviation for "World Wide Web".

The bloke was kind enough to give his idea to the world for free. The least we can do is respect his spelling preference.

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Happy birthday, Lisa: Apple's slow but heavy workhorse turns 30

Mahatma Coat
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Beware the fanbois

As it happens, I worked on the UK launch of the Star kit (in Brum, IIRC) for Rank Xerox. It was in 1981, two years before the Lisa appeared.

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Record numbers of you are reading this headline right now

Mahatma Coat
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Impressive

Nice work, chaps and chapesses.

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Obama calls for study into games ‘n’ guns link

Mahatma Coat
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Childcatcher

Of course there's a link

This very morning I played Quake III for an hour and subsequently couldn't help myself. I hatched a cunning plan to drop an anvil on a wily coyote.

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Social networks give Australia a throat to choke

Mahatma Coat
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Joke

"licence plates of unmarked police cars"

Someone should warn the police about this. They drive around with these plates on public display. Self-arrest might prove embarrassing.

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Brit robojet ‘Taranis’ set for Oz test flight

Mahatma Coat
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Mushroom

Re: Dodgy coating

That may have had something to do with the stealth coating breaking down in the "high" humidity of the European continent

The story going around at the time (which may be wrong/propaganda/misdirection) was that the Serbs used three very low rent radars. These were so bad that when they cranked them up to 11 all they got was lots of noise back except from the location of the 117. The three units were networked and the combined signals were processed. Basically, they just had to look for a hole in all the surrounding noise and fire their SAMs at it.

If the story is true then it's an excellent hack.

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Mahatma Coat
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Mushroom

The Serbs managed that in 1999

The word is that the yanks were slightly peeved when their stealth planes were detected easily by Jindalee.

Serbian forces not only detected but also shot down an F-117 using 1961 vintage SAMs back in 1999. I bet they were more peeved about that.

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Mahatma Coat
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Alien

Other test ranges could include...

...any of the "UFO hot spots" in far north Queensland. There is plenty of choice.

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