* Posts by Mahatma Coat

1155 posts • joined 11 Jun 2009

Steve Jobs biopic

Mahatma Coat
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Trollface

Much better idea...

...get Omid Djalili to play Jobs. He's always playing Arabs in Hollywood films.

And yes, I do know he's not an Arab.

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Don't be alarmed - but 545,000 NHS patient files are going online

Mahatma Coat
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Sounds like a great idea

What could possibly go wrong?

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PM launches Oz network three-year 3.5m premises rollout

Mahatma Coat
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FAIL

Re: What NBN?

1. My place is not on the roll-out map (Just 1 street off)

It runs past the end of our road but isn't stopping. In fact there's nothing between Townsville and Cairns. This is a major cyclone area and some decent communications after a big one would be more than handy.

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Twitter a poor predictor of movie success

Mahatma Coat
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Re: @Khaptain

A couple of things that I truly wish for :

- A spell check option on ElRegs comment box.

If you use a decent browser such Firefox and install a dictionary extension you will find that the comment box is spell checked for you.

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Judge orders O2 to name suspected smut burglars

Mahatma Coat
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Coat

It looks like almost everyone involved in this case is a wanker in one form or another.

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CD: The indestructible music format that REFUSES TO DIE

Mahatma Coat
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re: Properly done FLAC

I have lots of properly done FLACs. I do them myself from the CDs I buy.

There's a portability issue for me. When we have to evacuate the house for weather reasons I can pick up my entire music collection with one hand. The car would be stacked to the roof with CDs and other circular media if I took the physical originals with me. The missus would complain if there wasn't room for her in the car.

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Mahatma Coat
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Joke

How exactly do you wrap up a digital file?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Digital_paper

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Australia Post launches inbox and cloud storage for all

Mahatma Coat
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Big Brother

Needs a bit of rebranding...

...ASIOpost.

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Chrome extensions malware hijacks Facebook profiles

Mahatma Coat
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FAIL

Even better...

...Think twice before installing Google Chrome.

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Queensland Police go war driving

Mahatma Coat
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Black Helicopters

Err....

....haven't they been doing this for a couple of years already?

http://www.reghardware.com/2009/07/17/oz_plod_wardriving/

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Spider venom to be tested for pesticide potential

Mahatma Coat
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Re: How easily we forget...

I was referring to those people that think screwing around with Australian wildlife is the way forward. They are the ones that have forgotten.

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Mahatma Coat
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FAIL

How easily we forget...

...the bug eating miracle known as the cane toad.

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Met plod will use 1980s software to police Olympics

Mahatma Coat
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Holmes

Of course it's 80s software...

...that's when a govt IT project with a 2012 deadline needs to be started.

<-- Sherlock icon because he knew what he was doing.

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LOHAN's fantastical flying truss menaces kiddies

This post has been deleted by a moderator

Seafaring robots shatter unmanned crossing record

Mahatma Coat
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Just a suggestion...

...but maybe this technology could be used for Italian cruise ships.

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Cambridge boffins build laser 'unprinter' to burn pages clean

Mahatma Coat
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Already invented

You just need to use the same ink that petrol receipts are printed with. That seems to disappear completely before the end of an accounting period and you're left with a shoe box full of blank receipts for the VAT man.

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STUNNING NEW APPLE DEVICES that will follow the iPad 3 HD!

Mahatma Coat
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Devil

Touch screens

"You're getting smeary finger tracks all over the display"

Every Apple toy I've seen close up looks more like a Petri dish.

Where's the MRSA icon when you need it?

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Brits trapped in confusing council website labyrinths - survey

Mahatma Coat
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Megaphone

Meh, too easy

I've done council stuff and it's really not that hard to get right.

Pretty much every council in any given local government area has to abide by the same rules and carry the same content: rates info, news, etc, etc, plus local stuff specific to any area. Common content such as privacy policies and other legal stuff can be written centrally. It adds consistency and reduces costs.

The frequently accessed info should always be linked from the home page. Don't make the rate payers pissy by hiding things. If councils can't work out what is going to be popular then check the logs and search data and you'll see what people want. If it's not on the home page then put it there.

Most important tip for all for councils: Beware internal empire builders that don't have a clue about web sites but "know someone who does". They will cost the rate payers squillions for no noticeable return. Your council shouldn't be paying 25k for a slightly modified WordPress theme. Leave this stuff to people that know what they are doing.

Sheesh, it's 2012 and people are still struggling over web sites?

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Tony Blair closes RSA 2012, denounces WikiLeaks

Mahatma Coat
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Re: @ Mahatma Coat

I'm not saying it's right or wrong, I'm saying it is what it is.

I wouldn't want to get into a discussion about the pros and cons of various electoral systems but Cameron became PM because that's the way the system currently works. Don't like it? Contact your MP and lobby him to change it. That's how the democratic process in the UK is supposed to work.

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Mahatma Coat
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Re: @ Mahatma Coat

Brown wasn't elected. I was referring to Cameron.

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Mahatma Coat
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FAIL

Democracy at work

"there are people who threaten our way of life that have to be stopped"

Yes, and you were stopped. Sadly a clone of you got your job.

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Metro breakdown! Windows 8 UI is little gain for lots of pain

Mahatma Coat
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WTF?

I like the WFT? area. A great feature.

I've played with Win 8 for a couple of days in a VM and the Metro interface looks very nice but it's a half-arsed implementation. Lift up Win 8's skirt and it's a pair of old Win 7 knickers underneath. With holes in.

If you want to see an interface that is both slick and fast just have a look at KDE on openSUSE.

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Labour targets Tories' Google problem

Mahatma Coat
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FAIL

"No-one could imagine how we would survive without Google"

As someone that actively blocks anything that is remotely connected with Google I can confirm that it is not only possible to survive without Google but life is immeasurably better.

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RIM's backdoor sniffed by BBM-snooping Indian spooks

Mahatma Coat
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Big Brother

My maths isn't the best...

...but isn't that one sixth of the world's population* losing privacy in one fell swoop?

* I know they don't all have BlackBerrys.

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Pakistani military building PAC-PAD fondleslab

Mahatma Coat
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Facepalm

iPak?

Someone had to say it.

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Still buying CDs?

Mahatma Coat
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Pint

Re: Re: Still buying CDs?

We have tonnes of DVDs as they are so much better than our current cinema experience. The lovely Mrs Coat and I used to enjoy going to the flicks but our nearest is now a four hour round trip and the seats are like instruments of torture. They only show US blockbusters too. Our previous location had a small duplex cinema: one room for Hollywood twaddle and one for real films.

We've recently started buying Blu-rays as we now have a PS3. It was a PS2 that got us started on DVDs. Mr Sony is clever.

Beer icon cos I can drink and watch stuff at home.

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Mahatma Coat
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Alert

Still buying CDs?

I bought two last week. Am I alone in still preferring CDs to compressed formats?

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Current tunage:

Mahatma Coat
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Re: Current tunage:

Your computer has good taste.

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Ok, I'll bite.

Mahatma Coat
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Unhappy

The drill?

I didn't see a drill or any other power tools, just something about a net for mums. I feel cheated.

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Drew's Cookie Jar - psst. want a forum upgrade

Mahatma Coat
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Re: Drew's Cookie Jar - psst. want a forum upgrade

I'll give it a whirl.

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Loral set to build NBN Co satellites

Mahatma Coat
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FAIL

The upload speed figure I saw quoted in the press yesterday was 1Mbps.

I can't believe they're wasting this much money. It's supposed to service 3% of the population at a cost of AUD2 billion. A quick look for existing satellite services to the bush shows that it's already available at a reasonable price for a 6Mbps service.

The other problem is that a lot of the area covered by this is in the north of Aus, an area that is often covered by cloud for half the year. Satellite TV is hopeless during the wet season and even free-to-air terrestrial will crap out when the weather is bad.

NB Before anyone from non-tropical places chips in about clouds not being a problem I'd just like to add that where I live we can get half of London's annual rainfall in one day.

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Steve Jobs sighted in Taiwan flogging Android tablets

Mahatma Coat
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Devil

The eating babies footage is on the floor of the edit suite.

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Media groups propose anti-piracy 'code of practice' for UK search

Mahatma Coat
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Big Brother

Alternatively...

"To use the examples of BPI, MPAA or PACT, we would propose that prioritisation be enabled for searches that contain any of the following key search terms: 'twat', 'pillock', 'out of touch with reality', 'broken', 'numpties', 'clueless', 'cockwombles'.

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SMS emergency management goes national

Mahatma Coat
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FAIL

We had a localised SMS warning before Cyclone Yasi...

...and it confused everyone. A text that basically said "Cyclone Yasi is coming. Evacuate now. We're all doomed" is less than helpful. Which direction should people head, north or south? Even more ridiculous is that the cyclone was so big that no one could have driven out of the area unless they were on the margins.

They really need to think this one through a bit more.

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India threatens to block Google, Facebook and chums

Mahatma Coat
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FAIL

Oh, the irony....

...India is full of religious buildings covered in carvings depicting men fucking women, humans fucking animals and so on.

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Telstra shuts out prepaid mobile broadband rechargers

Mahatma Coat
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FAIL

TIPT was down today

Telstra's TIPT service was down for several hours today and it was a nationwide failure apparently.

If you don't know about TIPT:

"Telstra IP Telephony (TIPT) can help to increase the speed and efficiency of communications to improve productivity and customer engagement. Hosted on the Telstra network, Telstra IP Telephony is a flexible subscription-based service ideal for large offices, branch offices and remote sites, or contact centres. Designed to operate with existing telephone systems, it can help to overcome the problems of managing different communication systems across dispersed sites."

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Jonathan Ive is knighted in New Year Honours list

Mahatma Coat
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The difference is that Saint Ive has produced a result

If and when the cancer researcher comes up with a cure for cancer then no doubt he/she will get a K and also a Nobel Prize.

Or looking at it another way, the researcher *may* discover something that will bring relief to cancer sufferers whereas Ive *has* designed something that relieves the gullible of their cash.

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Software copied functions, but didn't infringe copyright

Mahatma Coat
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Halle-fucking-luyah

"The functionalities of a computer program and the programming language are not eligible, as such, for copyright protection," Advocate General Bot said in his opinion.

Best decision, best name.

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Chrome passes Firefox in global browser share

Mahatma Coat
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FAIL

It just goes to show...

...some people take fashion more seriously than privacy, security and flexibility. Fools.

Mozilla is the only trustworthy browser company.

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British Library sprinkles digital dust on dusty newsprint

Mahatma Coat
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One thing Aus has got right

http://trove.nla.gov.au/ndp/del/home

And they allow users to correct OCR errors.

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Woomera: Ghosts of Britain's space past

Mahatma Coat
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Emptiness

@ Lester

"Although it once housed thousands of people, the only sign of life we detected was the distant sound of some kids splashing around in a swimming pool."

@ Dave 126

"The streets without cars just look great."

Many towns in the Australian bush look exactly like this even when they are fully populated. More so at midday.

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Open source team creates apocalypse survival kit

Mahatma Coat
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Joke

Using only a hoe?

That's a bit sexist. Can't men help out too?

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Bishop to bless road salt supplies for added winter safety

Mahatma Coat
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FAIL

Jesus H

"Great is the Lord ... "

If he keeps sending all that snow he's not really all that great.

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Slapped: Oz TV show spikes Dutch freetard site

Mahatma Coat
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Facepalm

'Diwana pitched itself as “hunting out the best Australian and New Zealand TV"'

Best? That'd take about 30 seconds.

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Want to avoid all private-data breaches, ever? Here's how

Mahatma Coat
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FAIL

You have to laugh...

....when a site that claims to be improving privacy uses Google Analytics to track visitors.

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Nude lady recreates Star Wars tauntaun scene in dead horse

Mahatma Coat
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IT Angle

Re: She bought & shot it just for the pics...

...in a certain country only a few miles from the UK they do far worse to horses. They kill them and then eat them.

btw, 32 is pretty old for a horse. They probably did it a favour.

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UN set to dump GMT for tech-friendly Atomic Time

Mahatma Coat
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Meh

Er, not everyone has it...

...I live 18 degrees south of the equator. What use is seasonal clock changing to me?

<-- Nearest icon to a midday sun for mad dogs and Englishmen.

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Google and co join gov's identity marketplace

Mahatma Coat
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FAIL

Govt makes ensures your privacy...

...by sharing your data with 26 additional entities.

Dear UK gov and Google, what part of "get the fuck our of my private affairs" don't you understand?

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Krebs nabs ‘RSA attack’ list

Mahatma Coat
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FAIL

I guess you didn't read the list either...

...the names I mentioned are the UK-based operations of those companies. They carry data in the UK. There's a clue - "UK" - in the names hence them popping up when I searched the list for "UK".

Hutchison 3G UK

Orange Business Services UK

Tiscali UK

If I could be arsed, which I can't, I could probably give you their UK company registration info.

There are other big UK names in there too: Vodafone, Easynet, PricewaterhouseCoopers.

You also omitted to mention that I listed BTnet UK Regional network. I'm pretty sure they have some kind of office in the UK.

As you weren't.

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