* Posts by Thomas 4

1524 posts • joined 11 Jun 2009

Market rationalist pigs get the best choice of totty

Thomas 4

Er

"Online dating - marketisation, if you will - expands the number of people you might be able to have sex with. This is a bad thing?"

Yes, as it may result in another generation of Guardian columnists.

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Microsoft's MS-DOS is 30 today

Thomas 4
Pint

That really brings back memories

For the longest time as a child, I used to view computers as little more than glorified games machines. Oh, I'd sometimes type cheat programs in BASIC on my Amstrad but that's about as far as it got.

When my dad got his first PC, the pattern continued, with myself just playing a couple of games on it. Then one day I happened upon a tutorial for this weird thing called MS-DOS. It was confusing and terrifying but by the same token, oddly intruiging as well. I began poking around in different directories, learning how to move, copy and delete files using the command prompt. I even progressed to the arcane mysteries of creating custom config.sys and autoexec.bat files.

I was never blown away by Windows 3.x and only really started using it with the release of Windows 95. But I'll always be grateful to MS-DOS and that tutorial for showing me that there's more to computers than gaming.

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Dead bloke reanimates in mortuary

Thomas 4

Lost out on valuable bonus points

....if he'd only started shuffling, lurching and moaning "brains...."

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Grenade-gasm autogun gets Raoul Moat Taser shells

Thomas 4
Black Helicopters

Better idea

If you really cannot hit something with a million rounds, try the newest invention from Metl Storm:

THE GRAVESTONE -

We decided that as a million rounds were not enough to guarantee killing your target, we melted down the bullets to form a lead slab with a very large surface area and weight. Simply helicopter the slab over your target and drop. The Gravestone is also the world's first fully resuable modern weapon system, assuming you don't mind the red smears.

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Thomas 4

If you need to fire a million rounds a minute

Learn to aim. Seriously.

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HTC Salsa Android smartphone

Thomas 4

Wow! A Facebook button!

I reverse engineered this and managed to make a version that works on my Nexus One.

I call it......an icon!

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Sorry, time travelers, you’re still just fiction

Thomas 4

Ummmm

I thought it was possible for light to surpass the speed of light if a black hole was involved. Could be wrong of course - xkcd hasn't done a comic strip on it and thus my knowledge of physics is limited.

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Ofcom in screeching U-turn on BSkyB, begins probe

Thomas 4

"The fit and proper test"

....

"£18,000, £19,000, £20,000 - congratulations Mr Murdoch, you've successfully passed our rigorous testing procedure. It's going to be even more rigorous in the future when we bump our price up to £30k."

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Survey scams exploit Winehouse's death, Oslo massacre

Thomas 4
IT Angle

I'd like to congratulate El Reg

....on being perhaps the only news organ in the world not to have spent pages and pages lambasting Amy Winehouse as a drug addicted social wreckage, before making the mother of all U-turns and painting her as a beautiful delicate flower whose life tragically cut short.

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Dixons to set up concession in Harrods

Thomas 4

A sensible move

Finally Dixons have found a place to operate from where their prices won't seem like extortion in comparison.

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Chinese lecturer demands his students acquire iPads

Thomas 4

F.A.O Apple fanbois in this thread

See the guy in the article? That's your new benchmark.

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Phone-hack backlash BBC in embarrassing headline gaffes

Thomas 4

Yup

Real clock up there.

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Cameron: Murdoch son of Murdoch needs another grilling

Thomas 4

I AM MURDOCH SON OF MURDOCH!

FEAR MY LAWYERS!

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Go Daddy spokes-totty: I'm on the elephants' side

Thomas 4

"organised by People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals."

And with one simple sentence, the scant credibility this counter PR exercise had vanishes faster than a cow at an Aberdeen Angus Steakhouse.

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Gamer claims complete console collection

Thomas 4

Spotted some missing

He has a pretty good selection of LCD games but what he doesnt have is the LCD game wristwatches, of which there were 5 or so. Naturally, I have them all, thus making me superior to him.

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Hubble detects new Plutonian moon

Thomas 4
IT Angle

So wretched commentards....

What do you think the name should be for this extremely small moon?

I'm going with "munchkin" personally, due to its size.

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End of an era: Atlantis hits the tarmac

Thomas 4
Unhappy

And with the end of the shuttle program

....comes the end of hope for future manned space exploration in our lifetime. How depressing and "economically sensible". *spits*

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Go ahead and spy on customers, says judge

Thomas 4
Stop

Sounds pretty mucky

Whatever way you look at it. Has the company stated why this software is installed? I don't want my back account details recorded by *anyone*, let alone my ugly face.

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RUPERT MURDOCH HIT BY PIE

Thomas 4
FAIL

Cynical

These enquiries were set up on behalf of the public by politicians in order to clear the air for everyone, get to the truth of the matter and ensure that these mistakes are never repeated agai-

Ah, who am I kidding. They're all self serving motherfuckers with all the social conscience of a BOFH going after a paid vacation.

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'Wilful blindness? We've heard of it,' says Murdoch

Thomas 4
Facepalm

Great questioning!

Watson asked Murdoch if it was true that his organisation had a zero tolerance to wrongdoing. The media tycoon answered "No. We encourage phone hacking in all forms while snorting copious amounts of cocaine off prostitutes tits." The media tycoon then promptly proceeded to facepalm.

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Hacked Sun site greatly exaggerates Murdoch's death

Thomas 4

Huh?

You mean seppuku?

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Thomas 4

Not necessarily

Swallowing large chunks of a London theatre can often prove fatal.

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Thomas 4

You are incorrect in this regard

It could indeed happen to a nicer pile of crap - The Daily Mail.

Perhaps a fake news story endorsing the health benefits of crack cocaine, or a review of Manhunt 2 written by a 6 year old?

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Sony Ericsson Xperia Neo Android smartphone

Thomas 4
Coat

Looks good and all

...but I rather not have Hugo Weaving punching my face in over it.

Mine's the long black leather one that I keep tripping over.

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HP TouchPad 32GB WebOS tablet

Thomas 4

Man

I miss my T3 =(

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Vote now for the juiciest LOHAN backronym

Thomas 4
Trollface

For all those whining about the "orbit" part

What, you'd rather have something like "High Up Rocket Propelled Dirgible Elevated Register Plane?"

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Amazon's anti-iPad arises 'in October'

Thomas 4

Reading fail?

You can type and watch TV on your girlfriend?

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Moto cold shoulders upgrade-hungry Xoom users

Thomas 4

Butbutbut.....

If we release the update, how will we manage to sell the almost identical looking Xoom X2 with identical specs but **ANDROID 3.2**?

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Star Wars fans want Sony sued over game shutdown

Thomas 4
IT Angle

Sad to say it...

...but eventually all MMOs must die.

I was really really sad to see the shutdown of Tabula Rasa. Admittedly, they could have worked on the endgame stuff more but it also had some really neat features (especially the Logos and class system). Same will happen to FF XI, Guild Wars 1 when 2 arrives. That doesn't mean to say they are not good games - they all have their merits.

But nothing lasts forever.

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Thomas 4

@Lamont Cranston

I tried that, then my boss came in to ask why I was laughing so loud. I managed to stop laughing when I realised we'll never see the theatrical release on DVD.

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Thomas 4
Thumb Down

Meh

I really wish I had seen the original galaxies when it was first launched, with the dozens of different classes and a very infrequent jedi here and there.

From what I gather most people would have gladly seen it shutdown after the NGE & CE changes.

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Wallabies battle cattle farts

Thomas 4

This article

...is just a lot of hot air. And it smells.

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Moderatrix kisses the Reg goodbye

Thomas 4
Pint

Nooo!

The comments section won't be the same without you around. We'll be able to say what we think, for a start.

Best of luck with the future though.

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The Cube: Apple's daftest, strangest romance

Thomas 4
Coat

Was it...

....your companion? Did you have to eventually incinerate it?

Or was it one of those where you fed people into it to watch them get sliced, diced and otherwise horribly mutilated?

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Tag Heuer readies €4700 Froyo phone

Thomas 4

Nice

I'd buy a coconut phone.

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Lego lover builds big Barad-dûr replica

Thomas 4

He had an eye for the tower since he first saw Lord of the Rings.

And the tower had an eye for him.

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Nokia 'thinnest smartphone ever' slips out

Thomas 4

So....

Will Symbian have a Belle end or can it keep going?

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LG Optimus Black

Thomas 4

Indecisive

Would it be fighting Megatron or joining forces with him?

As for the phone itself, looks distinctly meh.

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Actor Simon Pegg warns over banking Trojan Twitter hack

Thomas 4
Meh

Oddly enough

Both topics are related to each other. While I would love a third series of Spaced, I strongly suspect that with an incomplete team, it would turn into a disaster like another comedy series I know....

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Blow to the head makes people feel good about religion

Thomas 4

Maybe I misunderstanding here

But is this some sort of attempt at retrophrenology, as described by Terry Pratchett in one of his novels?

In brief, phrenology is a method of determining someone's personality through the examination of bumps in the skull. Retrophreonology is the means of altering personality traits by creating bumps on the head.

"Certainly sir. That'll be £200 for the religious further, plus an additional £10 for wear and tear on the lump hammer."

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Anonymous claims LulzSec merger

Thomas 4

Mhmmmm

Its like someone said above - script kiddies are the equivalent of BB guns in Anon's arsenal but I'd be willing to bet they have more than a few pieces of heavy artillery somewhere.

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Thomas 4

All well and good

But what's the Roman for Distributed Denial of Service?

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Boffins take REMOTE CONTROL of HUMAN HAND

Thomas 4

Modern technology, eh?

Now script kiddies from the latest hacking cult can attack our bodies...

"Sorry I'm disappointing you, love. I think my crotch is being DDoS'ed by Lulzec."

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600 tonne asteroid in low pass above Falkland Islands - TONIGHT

Thomas 4
Mushroom

Don't panic folks!

If it looks like a threat we can fly a nuclear bomb up to it on one of our Shuttles...

*whisper whisper*

What's that?

*whisper*

Oh. Looks like we're fucked then.

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50 day lullaby of Lulzsec is over .. for now

Thomas 4
IT Angle

Hey!

What's more important here - company reputation or someone's personal details?!

....

Oh wait. EA.

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NATO site hacked

Thomas 4
FAIL

Oh sweet zombie Jesus

I'm thinking of running a sweepstake for the next big company/organisation to announce that they've been hacked. Place your bets below, here's a few to get you started:

1) WIkipedia

2) Facebook

3) Sony

4) Sony

5) Xbox Live Arcade

6) Potterless

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NASA's nuclear Mars tank arrives at launch site

Thomas 4

Really?

Does Curiousity have a crowbar arm on it?

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Virgin Media blames Activision for Call of Duty lag problems

Thomas 4
FAIL

+1 more unhappy VM customer

The router they supplied for my connection is a clapped out D-Link that drops connections like a whore drops her knickers. On the rare occasions where I'm not getting disconnected, I enjoy regular lag spikes and a lot of rage from my teammates as my connection costs us yet another victory.

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Accused SOCA attacker reportedly 'keen' to help cops

Thomas 4
IT Angle

I have a dream

I dream that one day, people accused of technical crimes such as these will be tried by a panel of technical experts, rather than Joe Plebb off the street who classes anything beyond the power switch as "computer hacking".

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Child of Eden

Thomas 4
Thumb Up

It's been a good few years for Indie work

World of Goo, Plants vs Zombies, Braid, Limbo, The Void - it's really good to see some originality creeping back into games, rather than more generic Halo knock-offs.

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