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* Posts by Thomas 4

1514 posts • joined 11 Jun 2009

Star Wars fans offered Blu-ray deals and previews

Thomas 4
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FAIL

Bah, humbug!

"Movie makers have always been vocal supporters of Blu-ray," he says “but when you have a guy like George Lucas saying you haven’t seen Star Wars until you’ve seen it on Blu-ray, you can’t ignore the message.”

Funny, George Lucas seems to be pretty good about ignoring messages, leastways those saying "Stop screwing around with the originals and give us a damn theatrical release."

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Neighbours cop an earful from screaming Swedish w*nker

Thomas 4
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Oh dear

Is he going to get a slap on the wrist for this?

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DARPA drops another HTV-2

Thomas 4
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Boffin

Maybe Dune has the answer to this problem

It reminds me of the problem the Spacing Guild had with trying to navigate their huge ships through folded space. There were so many variables and the reaction times needed were astronomically fast - far beyond those of a human. As we lack melange on this planet, perhaps an entirely computer controlled system would be able to make the minute and fast navigation adjustments needed.

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Cops tweet about cuffed twits who incited violence via Twitter

Thomas 4
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The riots have spread to Scotland

CCTV footage caught live from Edinburgh:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EW0356brnrE

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London rioters should 'loose all benefits'

Thomas 4
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I imagine

That quite a few of them are "well hung over" this morning. They might be "drawn", depending on whether police still use sketch artists and hopefully "courted" very swiftly while the guy in the funny wig clocks up some overtime.

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Prime Minister recalls holidaying MPs after London riots

Thomas 4
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Facepalm

Join me comrades!

As we make our bold political statement by shovelling as many DVD players and flatscreens into the back of my mate's VW Golf. We shall send a message to the Halls of Parliament by mugging beaten up kids, setting fire to cars and burning down family owned businesses. Let our voices cry out in rage, although they'er slightly muffled as we're all wearing hoodies and scarves because we don't want to be recognised on CCTV.

Political disenchantment my arse.

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Thomas 4
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Your cynicism warms my heart, sir.

The best bit about this game is that you get infinite continues after being arrested.

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Videogames caused riots says plod

Thomas 4
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Go

Where's Mike Haggar when you need him....

http://www.guardian.co.uk/news/datablog/interactive/2011/aug/09/uk-riots-incident-map

Can't see Boris Johnson pile-driving London's streets clear of thugs.

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Thomas 4
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Actually

I think these rights are being caused by people that have read Terry Pratchett's Jingo:

"'Dis is da Riot Act and if youse people don't dip-, disp-, dipsp-, go away, da Watch is allowed to use deadly force!"

"What was that you used just then?!"

"Dat was you helpin' da Watch." said Sgt Detritus.

"Sergent, were you proposing to shoot these people in cold blood?" said Vimes.

"Nossir, just a warnin' shot inna head."

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BlackBerry blog hacked with riot-related threats

Thomas 4
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FAIL

Not quite

I can think of quite a few more things I could say about Teampoison in this particular instance, none of which would get passed a moderator.

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Sony distribution centre engulfed by fire

Thomas 4
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Unhappy

Sony may be assholes...

...but even they don't deserve to have their shops and factories pillaged like this. And this is coming from someone with a whole list of reasons to dislike them.

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10-year old hacker finds flaw in mobile games

Thomas 4
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Good man!

My first "hacking" attempts were on an Amstrad, using a curious gadget called a Multiface.

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Shagbook won't take Facebook thrust lying down

Thomas 4
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Also including

The police suspect information database, known as MaceBook.

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Facial recognition tech proves Randi AND Mark are the same Zuck

Thomas 4
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.....k...

....anyone else feel like they've just been massively trolled?

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Spanish unfurl Benny 16 banana bog roll

Thomas 4
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Cool!

So not only does the Pope shit in the woods, he now has something to wipe his arse with!

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Can you handle LOHAN's substantial globes?

Thomas 4
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Submitted a design

Inspired by equal parts Miss Lohan, Monty Python sketches and excessive caffine.

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Death haunts government petitions site

Thomas 4
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Of course not

I'd give to people of impeccable moral standing, like 100,000 Daily Mail readers.

Why do I have the feeling that this "100,000 signatures" thing is going to be the punchline to a lot of jokes in the near future....

"How many Daily Mail readers does it take to waste countless hours in Parliament?"

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Bullfrog Syndicate

Thomas 4
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Hmmmm

The Alaska level was my favourite - A heavily defended fort, with multiple options for infiltration. The Atlantic Accelerator level was a nightmare though. Oo

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Thomas 4
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@Rodent

I always gave a shit about Bullfrog. They were based just down the road from me in Guildford and I used to daydream as a teenager about playtesting for them one day, given the awesome games they put out: Syndicate, Theme Park, Magic Carpet, etc.

I couldn't give a flying f*** about the ungodly amorphous blob known as EA.

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Thomas 4
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Fair enough

You tell us where we can legally buy a brand new copy of Syndicate and we'll buy it. Otherwise, please feel free to enjoy a nice warm mug of STFU.

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Microsoft man saves drowning woman

Thomas 4
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Happy

Nice Link

I actually learned something useful today. Who'd have thought something good would have come out of an article with "Mircosoft" in the title?

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Amazon Free Apps start to rile developers

Thomas 4
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@DrXym

"What I predict happening is that app makers will start producing "Amazon edition" versions of their apps where the name or branding changes and the functionality is slightly different."

Drastically reduced, for a kick off.

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Thomas 4
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Wow, this is a really messed up deal

So all your customers download the app on the day it is free. Oddly enough, no one buys a copy afterwards because they got it on the day it was free.

Can anyone else see why a developer might slightly annoyed about losing out on revenue as a result?

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MPs slam 'unworkable' one-size-fits-all NHS care records' system

Thomas 4
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I can hear the oinks of disappointment

....as the feeding trough is taken away.

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Reg readers ponder LOHAN's substantial globes

Thomas 4
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Awww....

But hydrogen is fun. Hydrogen goes *boom*.

.......

Being serious for a moment, if you can't have a platform on the top of the balloon, you could launch from the side. From the top, it would look like a + sign, with strips bending downwards along the sides of the balloon. Three of the strips would have a weight on it equal to the plane, with the fourth holding LOHAN.

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Nokia ditches letters for all-number names

Thomas 4
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Mushroom

@Conrad

<---We do have an "Elop Effect" icon

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Sony Ericsson toying with tabletphone

Thomas 4
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Meh

3D appeal?

Can't say it really does on a smartphone. It may look cool having your icons stretching into the distance in your phone but unless you can actually reach through your touchscreen, there's naff all point to it. 3D TV on a phone will be distinctly underwhelming, given that it hasnt even taken off on larger screens and given the dearth of decent Android games in 2D, I fail to see many game developers taking advantage of 3D processing power.

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Doom dude says violent games lower aggression

Thomas 4
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When I eventually go mad and on a rampage

I'm going to blame the entire thing on the Daily Mail and watch the resulting implosion.

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Tablets will overtake consumer PCs, says Fujitsu CTO

Thomas 4
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Meh

When a tablet

...can run Deus Ex: Human Revolution smoothly, has a keyboard from a 20" inch laptop and can fit a gaming mouse, then we'll talk. Until then, this guy is talking out of his arse.

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HTC sues Apple in the UK

Thomas 4
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Some advice

I'd steer clear of the Droid/Milestone. While the screen and processor are pretty good, Motorola is terrible at updating and the keyboard is of very poor quality.

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Fanboys find way to NFC an iPhone

Thomas 4
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Sellotape?!

*REAL* engineers use duct tape!

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iPad maker to replace 1 million staff with robots

Thomas 4
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In future news....

The managing director of Foxconn was tragically killed today outside the Foxconn plant in China. Early reports suggest that he has been crushed to death by a robotic arm that was attempting the world's first recorded incident of "robot suicide". The arm has been offered theraputic programming and a firmware upgrade and should be back at work soon, once they've finished scrapping the managing director off him.

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Ubisoft insists DRM 'a success'

Thomas 4
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You lot really don't get do you?

UbiShite is in the business of selling games. Who gives a damn what happens to the game after that point?

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APP OF DEATH plots local fatalities on demand

Thomas 4
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Hmmm

"IDEAL FOR THE ANTHROPOMORPHIC PERSONIFICATION IN A HURRY" - Anon revier.

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Ubisoft revisits Internet-at-all-times DRM

Thomas 4
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Error in your subtitle

"Drive away the customers."

Fixed that for you.

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ICO won't investigate Tory minister

Thomas 4
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Huh?

Why is a Tory Minister being investigated by a small boy with horns? Has he got evil shadow creatures chasing after him and if so, can we leave the shadow creatures to it?

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Russia: 'We'll dump the ISS into the sea after 2020'

Thomas 4
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In fairness

Neanderthals and accountants do share a few similarities. Both speak an incomprehensible "language", both have little in way of a personality and both enjoy hitting people with things. The accountant has just progressed to more advanced weapons.

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Virgin Media sees 36,000 cable customers scarper in Q2

Thomas 4
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@Twisted

Currently on Virgin Broadband. My connection is as reliable as a party manifesto pledge during a recession. But I'm not worried because I have the ever helpful Virgin Support Centre on hand:

"Hmmm, is the router plugged into the mains sir?"

"Yes."

"Is it switched on, sir?"

<cue grinding teeth> "Yes."

"Have you plugged the router into the phone socket on the wall?"

"YES!"

"I'm sorry sir, I'll have to escalate your call to one of the senior team."

<cue 15 minute wait>

"Hello sir, is the little internet icon visible in the toolbar?"

<headdesk>

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Developer fury as Google makes Android apps vanish

Thomas 4
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IT Angle

Wait

The Android Marketplace is now disorganised and chaotic? I can't say I've noticed any difference.....

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George Lucas defeated by Stormtrooper helmet man

Thomas 4
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Hmmm

One brave soul following the ancient ways to defeat manical despot with unlimited power? Could be a film in there somewhere.

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Market rationalist pigs get the best choice of totty

Thomas 4
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Er

"Online dating - marketisation, if you will - expands the number of people you might be able to have sex with. This is a bad thing?"

Yes, as it may result in another generation of Guardian columnists.

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Microsoft's MS-DOS is 30 today

Thomas 4
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Pint

That really brings back memories

For the longest time as a child, I used to view computers as little more than glorified games machines. Oh, I'd sometimes type cheat programs in BASIC on my Amstrad but that's about as far as it got.

When my dad got his first PC, the pattern continued, with myself just playing a couple of games on it. Then one day I happened upon a tutorial for this weird thing called MS-DOS. It was confusing and terrifying but by the same token, oddly intruiging as well. I began poking around in different directories, learning how to move, copy and delete files using the command prompt. I even progressed to the arcane mysteries of creating custom config.sys and autoexec.bat files.

I was never blown away by Windows 3.x and only really started using it with the release of Windows 95. But I'll always be grateful to MS-DOS and that tutorial for showing me that there's more to computers than gaming.

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Dead bloke reanimates in mortuary

Thomas 4
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Lost out on valuable bonus points

....if he'd only started shuffling, lurching and moaning "brains...."

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Grenade-gasm autogun gets Raoul Moat Taser shells

Thomas 4
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Black Helicopters

Better idea

If you really cannot hit something with a million rounds, try the newest invention from Metl Storm:

THE GRAVESTONE -

We decided that as a million rounds were not enough to guarantee killing your target, we melted down the bullets to form a lead slab with a very large surface area and weight. Simply helicopter the slab over your target and drop. The Gravestone is also the world's first fully resuable modern weapon system, assuming you don't mind the red smears.

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Thomas 4
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If you need to fire a million rounds a minute

Learn to aim. Seriously.

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HTC Salsa Android smartphone

Thomas 4
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Wow! A Facebook button!

I reverse engineered this and managed to make a version that works on my Nexus One.

I call it......an icon!

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Sorry, time travelers, you’re still just fiction

Thomas 4
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Ummmm

I thought it was possible for light to surpass the speed of light if a black hole was involved. Could be wrong of course - xkcd hasn't done a comic strip on it and thus my knowledge of physics is limited.

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Ofcom in screeching U-turn on BSkyB, begins probe

Thomas 4
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"The fit and proper test"

....

"£18,000, £19,000, £20,000 - congratulations Mr Murdoch, you've successfully passed our rigorous testing procedure. It's going to be even more rigorous in the future when we bump our price up to £30k."

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Survey scams exploit Winehouse's death, Oslo massacre

Thomas 4
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IT Angle

I'd like to congratulate El Reg

....on being perhaps the only news organ in the world not to have spent pages and pages lambasting Amy Winehouse as a drug addicted social wreckage, before making the mother of all U-turns and painting her as a beautiful delicate flower whose life tragically cut short.

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Dixons to set up concession in Harrods

Thomas 4
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A sensible move

Finally Dixons have found a place to operate from where their prices won't seem like extortion in comparison.

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