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* Posts by Thomas 4

1520 posts • joined 11 Jun 2009

Now Windows 8 goes into the ring to face Apple's iOS

Thomas 4
Mushroom

Hmmm

I wouldn't describe HP's foray into the ring as being the equivalent of "cannon fodder".

A more suitable metaphor might be a kamikazi pilot. The flight starts out normally enough, before taking a sharp nosedive with a gibbering madman at the helm before exploding in a spectacular fireball. The damage is fairly minimal and short lived, leaving you with bits of wreckage scattered all over the flight deck.

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Nintendo 3DS gets more stick

Thomas 4

Inclined to agree

It does look extremely ugly but it might improve the ergonomics of the d-pad. I find it uncomfortable to use it for too long on my 3DS but fortunately the left stick is still accurate enough for platforming shennanigans like Castlevania.

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Glow-in-the-dark kittens to help produce cure for AIDS

Thomas 4

Someone call Eli Roth

The scene - A poorly lit bedroom late at night. A frightened child is being tucked into bed by someone who looks far too young to be the child's mother but hey, that's hollywood casting for you.

Child: Mummy, I'm scared. Another kid went missing at school today. Are the monsters getting them?

Mummy: Don't be scared, there's no such thing as monsters.

Child: Ok mummy. Thank you for plugging in my nightlight.

Mummy: (raising a curious plastic object with a plug)....I haven't plugged it in yet....

Mummy and daughter look at each other.

*rrrrrooowwwwwwwwrrrrl*

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Lincs bloke fined in deceased hedgehog outrage

Thomas 4
Gimp

I can't help but feel

...that one careful push would have been more of a lesson, depending on the position of the hedgehog.

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Rubbing an iPhone on your face won't cure acne - FTC

Thomas 4
Boffin

AcneApp: Homeopathic Version

Instead of a whole screen of flashing colour, you now have a single pixel.

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HP to refund full-price Touchpad and Pre3 buyers

Thomas 4
Unhappy

Awww

I never get to fondle anything nice.

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Printable mini-display tech draws power from NFC devices

Thomas 4

If nothing else

It serves as a really useful proof of concept. If they could up the power transfer a little more, maybe they could use NFC as a means of printing personalised train & aircraft tickets.

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Galaxy Tab remains illegal in Germany

Thomas 4
IT Angle

I'm sorry sir

But we must now gouge out your eyes as Apple have now patented the iBall as a viewing device.

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British warming to NUKES after Fukushima meltdown

Thomas 4

It tells us

That nuclear energy has a glowing future ahead of it.

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Vale Michael Stern Hart

Thomas 4
Facepalm

/facepalm

And this folks is why I shouldn't post while a) I'm ill b) I'm half asleep c) WITHOUT READING THE ARTICLE or d) a braindead combo of the above. -.-

I think Svantevid picked up on the connection I was trying to make.

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Thomas 4

Just out of curiousity

Was he any relation to the Gutenberg that made the first ever printed Bible?

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Swedish cops free boozy moose from tree

Thomas 4

Was this story

....sourced from in-cider info?

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Sun rises over .xxx smut domain

Thomas 4

I hate you

I just had a vision of a greasy student from my local Dixions showing me a "handheld device" while naked.

Pass the mind-bleach please.

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Early Earth’s ‘golden shower’

Thomas 4

Title

"New Scientist notes that there appears to be too little precious metals for the hypothetical bombardment to be a complete explanation."

New Scientist went on to ask for greater amounts of precious metals be sent to their offices for comparison purposes.

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French bloke fined for failing to shag missus

Thomas 4
IT Angle

Umm

I thought the lack of response to "frakk me" was kind of the whole issue.

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HP plucks webOS team out of departing PC division

Thomas 4

Itanic....Itanic....

Why does that sound so familiar, given the context....

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Painters wrap Forth Bridge job after 121 years

Thomas 4

like Y-ing the X

Like updating the Motorola Android Phone?

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Last ever batch of TouchPads isn't coming to Blighty

Thomas 4
IT Angle

Now the big question

Will these Argos Pads be at firesale price or full fat price?

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Don't buy your iPad in a McDonald's car park

Thomas 4

Silly girl

Probably feels a bit of a plank now.

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One last production run for TouchPad

Thomas 4

Good news

Might be able to snag a cheap Touchpad for myself next time around.

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Samsung 'mulls bid for' HP's orphaned webOS

Thomas 4

Sounds tasty

Samsung has some pretty decent hardware for their phones - a Galaxy with WebOS would be sweet.

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Acer to announce ultrabook at IFA

Thomas 4

So....

....once you get past the verbal marketing diahorrea, it's a laptop then?

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A Farewell to Oates: Adios, El Reg

Thomas 4

Thanks for the great articles John

...and don't be a stranger in the comments section.

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UK cops charge alleged Anonymous hacker

Thomas 4
IT Angle

I don't know why.....

But after reading your post I suddenly had a vision of that scene from The Holy Grail involving ducks, bridges and truly mind bending leaps in logic.

"So because he's a student, he must have a computer...."

"And therefore....?"

"A WITCH!"

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Mobile operators: US quake proves we need more spectrum

Thomas 4
Coat

Meh

Not exactly a ground-breaking story.

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Insulin pump maker ignores diabetic's hack warnings

Thomas 4
IT Angle

I'm no expert on wireless....

.....so I'd appreciate an answer from someone that is. Is it possible that random wireless interference could do the same damage as a directed hack? What are the sort of probabilities involved?

Just asking from a neutral viewpoint.

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Greyhound spatters Nashville with semen

Thomas 4
Boffin

Oo

Lacking prehensile hands, how exactly.......actually, I'm going to abandon this train of thought before it derails and permanently damages the station.

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Paintball round pops Bulgarian airbag

Thomas 4

A title is required

Eye see what you did there.

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Samsung refuses to buy HP's PC business

Thomas 4
Unhappy

Awwwww....

C'mon, please buy our hopelessly under performing PC business. We'll be your fwiend.....

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Blackberry BBM adds social music cloud

Thomas 4

Possible playlists include

Prodigy - Firestarter

Kaiser Chiefs - I Predict a Riot

Feel free to add more.

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Steve Jobs resigns as Apple CEO

Thomas 4

Oh, if you want snark....

I handed in my CV at Apple today but they told me they didn't have any Jobs.

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Osun MushRoom Green Zero USB charger

Thomas 4
Thumb Up

Cool

I often leave my phones charging over night, so if this thing can help with saving the battery even a little, I'll buy one. At the very least, it might knock a little bit off my phone bill.

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Here lies /^v.+b$/i

Thomas 4

Hmm

IF HeartBeatPresent = True AND BreathingInAndOut = True THEN

Dig me up this f***ing instant

ELSE

Leave flowers and beer below

END IF

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Detective on phone-hacking probe team is arrested

Thomas 4

Better solution

Why don't we just arrest all the police, the hacks and the politicians and bung them in the slammer?

Also, what's this stuff about phone hacking?

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Average sozzled Brit sinks 5,800 pints during life

Thomas 4

Title

"This means that by getting through 456 drinks a year on average, many Brits are sailing three sheets to the wind-"

Fixed that for you.

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HP chief bows to Jobsian cult

Thomas 4
Unhappy

So this is how the story of Palm OS ends

It's a crap and unworthy ending for an OS that deserved better.

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Oxford adds woot! to dictionary

Thomas 4
Meh

@NomNomNom

Meh. Makes a change from bloody Grues all the time.

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Thomas 4

Growlery

(noun) - A room used to complain about nocturnal birds.

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Sony preps Luke Skywalker-style digital binoculars

Thomas 4

Then its your damn fault

Should have gone out to pick up the power converters before your uncle set you chores to do.

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Thomas 4
IT Angle

A Sony product

That I actually want? What madness is this?

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HP murders webOS tablets, phones

Thomas 4

Wow

Just imagine if you were someone that bought a webOS tablet within that 5 hour timeframe, thinking of a bright, AppleDroid-free future.

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Google+ bans real name under ‘Real Names’ policy

Thomas 4
Pint

Not entirely unexpected

....when Facebook rejected my legally given name as some sort of joke, demanding that I submit my driving licence and passport as proof of ID.

Fortunately I sobered up at the point and realised how close I had come to making a serious mistake.

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COMET WILL DEFINITELY NOT HIT EARTH – NASA

Thomas 4
Mushroom

You're all morons.

NASA says there's absolutely nothing to worry about, so why the needlessly scaremongering article? THERE'S POSITIVELY DEFINITELY ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT! *wink wink*

<----carefully modelled computer simulation of WHAT IS NOT GOING TO HAPPEN.

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Three touts 21.1Mb/s mobile broadband dongle

Thomas 4
Devil

Great news!

So now you can burn through your 5Gb data limit in minutes rather than hours now?

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Facebook wannabe rioters cop large helpings of porridge

Thomas 4
Black Helicopters

Wait, what?

"The court hoped that the hefty sentences would deter others from writing similar stupid posts on social networks."

We're arresting people for making stupid comments on the internet now? Looks like the police are going to be on overtime with all the trolls.......what the hell........I DIDN'T POST THAT, SOMEONE HACKED MY ACCOUNT! DON'T TASE ME BR <kzzzzzt>

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Smartphones rain on Sony PS Vita parade

Thomas 4
Stop

Not convinced.

Once again, the repulsive spectre of the iPhone rears its head. While mobile gaming has come on in leaps and bounds over the past few years, due to advances in hardware and screen resolution, I really don't see mobile phones obsoleting the 3DS and Vita anytime soon. Three reasons spring to mind:

1) The Apple "lockdown" thing. Many gaming titles are cross platform, even when it comes to mobile gaming. The latest garbage movie tie-in always spreads itself across as many system as possible, like a fat man on a sofa. It's to see the studios agreeing to have their gaming cash cow purely on one system only.

2) iStore, Amazon, et al: Developers tend to make precious little from sales as it is without Apple or Amazon's App Stores taking a hefty chunk of the proceedings from any title sale.

3) The big one: Controls. Controls. Controls. Ever wondered why the majority of titles for mobile phones tend to be quirky games such as puzzlers, casual games and strategy? Its for the simple reason that touchscreens are awful for anything fast paced. Can you imagine trying to play something like Street Fighter 4 using only a touch screen? Or perhaps a snowboarding game where you have to enter a hundred and one different button presses to pull off that amazing combo in mid air? Even if it were possible to enter commands that quickly and have everyone register exactly the way the gamer intends, you wouldn't be able to see half the action on the screen because your fingers are in the way!

Example: I bought a game called Sky Force on my Android phone. It's one of those vertical scrolling shooters that were in vogue back in the 80s, when I were a nipper. The graphics and sound are fantastic, the power system is good, bla bla bla, but I always end up getting stomped by things flying from the bottom right of the screen where my hand blocks the view.

More than that though, have you ever tried playing a game on a phone for a long period of time? Its a fantastic way to end up with your wrist and hand in agony for hours afterwards? Something with an involving storyline will have me playing for hours on end (say FF IV on the DS or Castlevania on the PSP). My hand would not physically be able to do that with a touchscreen on a phone due to the ergonomics involved.

So please, can we finally ram a stake through the ever recurring idea that mobile phones will be the death of the DS and PSP? Not in their current form they bloody won't.

PS: This argument applies equally to both Apple and Android fanbois, so you can both shut the hell up.

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Apple changed shape of Galaxy Tab in court filing

Thomas 4

@Patrick

He patented it, so El Reg wasn't allowed to use it in Europe anymore.

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Thomas 4

Huh.

They did it to "emphasise" a point in their argument. I could "emphasise" the fact that I have a 12 foot...., well, but it'd still be misleading.

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Google's Moto move spells iPhone doom

Thomas 4
Trollface

I don't understand.

How can you patent innovation, pricing and product quality?

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