* Posts by Thomas 4

1524 posts • joined 11 Jun 2009

Hubble snaps dark matter warping spacetime

Thomas 4

@D.A.M

Indeed. We need to investigate the source of this mysterious and malign power and shut it down if we can. Then we can enjoy our star-gazing in peace and quiet.

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RIM: 'Faulty switch took out faulty-switch-proof network'

Thomas 4

I'm looking forward to RIM's new phone

The Blackberry Chumawumba: "It gets knocked down, but it gets up again...."

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Valve chief says Apple will own your living room

Thomas 4

Keep your PS3s and Xbox 360s

All shall crumble before the awesome might of the Pippin Mark 2 because, hey, it worked really well the first time, right?

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Gov IT slasher gets top civil service role

Thomas 4

"who tried to inject MacBooks into Whitehall"

Oh thank Christ. We were worried we weren't going to get our iPad 2s for a second there.

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RIM stands, staggers, falls again

Thomas 4

In other news

A wave of peace quiet has broken out across London today as rioters were unable to access the BBM network.

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Sony network ransacked in huge brute-force attack

Thomas 4

Phew

Thank god they installed that chief information security officer after that last attack, otherwise they'd have no-one to fire over this one.

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Dubstep ringtone wins Nokia compo

Thomas 4
Devil

Don't hold back

Tell us what you're *really* feeling!

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Sony Ericsson Xperia Mini Pro Qwerty Android smartphone

Thomas 4

Hmmm

What's the keyboard quality like? If the buttons are solid and responsive, I might look at ditching my Nexus One and getting one of these instead.

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Laptop shoots spike into owner's hand

Thomas 4

A least Toshiba are making amends

Let's give them a big hand, ladies and gents.

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iPhone 4S pay-monthly tariffs compared

Thomas 4

And 2 years from now.....

Mephistophiles shuts down Hell due to a lack of souls. Apparently the department that offers deals for mortal souls has been driven out of the market by telcos.

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Google hits the boozer with own brand of beer

Thomas 4

Well...

It's got to be better than that soft drink they pushed out - "Mountain View".

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Post-pub nosh deathmatch: Kapsalon v quesadillas

Thomas 4

One infamous snack

....that springs to mind are deep-fried Mars Bars. An almost mythical delicacy in my neck of the woods but I've never forgotten the taste after all these years. I've no idea what would make a good deathmatch rival though...

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Sony wants Ericsson's half of their mobile biz

Thomas 4

Sony Ericsson

Sony Ericsson used to make big strides in phone development - they introduced one of the first phones with a colour screen (the T68 & T68i), even going as far as to make one of the first MP3 attachments and camera attachment as well.

In the smartphone sector, there was always strong rivalry between UIQ phones such as the P800, P900, etc and the Communicator range but as @Red Bren pointed out, the P990i was starting to lose ground against its better functioning competitors.

I also recall the series of Palm based PDAs that Sony produced many, many years ago. Again, there were some really solid designs (my T37 lasted a very long) and they seemed very determined to bring out new ideas (including the first PDA with an OLED screen - released in Japan only).

If Sony can recapture these glory days and use this acquisition to bring greater diversity to the phone market (rather than just flat touchscreen slab, no buttons, kkthanxbai) then it could really rejunvinate their presence in the phone market. If, on the other hand, they are merely doing this for IP and patents, with a view to ditching Ericssons engineers, then what happened with HP & WebOS will seem like a rousing success story by comparison.

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Gay-bashing cult plans picket of Steve Jobs funeral

Thomas 4

More to the point

If God hates the world and its people (ok, the second one I can kinda sympathise with), He really has no-one to blame but Himself.

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Apple cofounder Steve Jobs is dead at 56

Thomas 4
Unhappy

Woah

When I first heard about this, I thought it was some hoax. Kinda stunned at the moment. So long Stevie and thanks for all the Macs.

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Ten reasons why you shouldn't buy an iPhone 5

Thomas 4
Flame

Ahhh, just what I needed.

A nice big bag of popcorn and an article like this.

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Violent videogames reduce crime

Thomas 4

You degenerate monsters!

How can you be so thoughtless? By refusing to ban such filth as Kirby's Dream Land or Nintendogs, you are merely encouraging the next generation of brutal psychopaths! I cannot supervise my child due to regular PTA meetings, my high profile business career and my Daily Mail column, so I often have to leave him with his Xbox and a copy of Tiger Woods Pro Putting Simulator. The thought that he could be playing something as foul and evil as Little Big Planet makes me sick to my stomach.

Won't someone PLEASE think of the children?!

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Amazon's Kindle Fire is sold at a loss

Thomas 4

As I said in another thread

At these prices, it will screw over quite a lot of the competition so although in the short term they may make a small loss, they'll claim a large section of the tablet market from their rivals. After all, the savings they make can be used to buy ebooks and programs from Amazons TotallyNotAnAppStore.

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007's car outdrives iPhone in battle of the brands

Thomas 4

I can see it now.....

<The scene: Two figures are fleeing from the towering HQ of an evil conglomerate. Several machine-gun carrying are chasing them>

"James, they're chasing us! How are we going to get away?"

"Don't worry, my dear. I'll use my iPad to plot an escape route in Maps that will take us to the nearest bus stop."

"WE'LL NEVER MAKE IT!"

"Hang on! I can use my trusty iPad as a bulletproof shie-"

*crack*

*splat*

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RIM defends PlayBook as more execs bail

Thomas 4

What's wrong with the name?

Playbook is a perfectly sensible name for an enterprise business sector that prides itself on a slightly macho image:

"Ok, I need to make some notes on this meeting, I'll get out my iPad 2."

"I'll use my Galaxy Tab."

"......I'll get my Playbook."

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Stars say relativity still works

Thomas 4

Easily measurable

To the kitchen scales!

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Reebok used 'very fit woman' in buttock-related deception

Thomas 4

Yep

It's come around to bite them in their muscley well-toned ass.

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Amazon intros $199 movie Kindle

Thomas 4
Mushroom

Never mind the proxy

Those price points are *really* going to fuck over the Android tablet market.

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Apple loses bid to trademark 'multi-touch'

Thomas 4
Thumb Up

Trademarking "normal sex"

The potential profit in this idea is astronomical.

"Engage in BDSM or be sued."

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iPad maker Foxconn catches fire, claims no casualties

Thomas 4
Trollface

In other news

Apple reports absolutely no overheating problems with new iPhone 5 battery, nuh-uh.

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Amazon to kindle Fire tablet tomorrow

Thomas 4

And even now

Reg hacks are patiently waiting for the first malfunctioning Kindle 2 battery, just for the headlines.

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NASA to trial laser-powered space broadband

Thomas 4
IT Angle

Finally

This should shut up people that a) whine about the lack of scientific benefits from space exploration and b) whine about the lack of an IT angle in said articles.

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Drinking alcohol wards off asthma

Thomas 4
Pint

Funny

Mankind spent ages searching for the Elixir of Life, only to find it was in the pub all along.

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MPs label police IT 'not fit for purpose'

Thomas 4
IT Angle

Quite right

What we need to do is develop a national IT program for the police force to sit proudly alongside our NHS one.

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Oz Territory terrorized by MUTANT CANE TOADS!

Thomas 4

I for one....

....welcome our cane toad devouring overlords and whatever we introduce to then get rid of them.

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US Matrix-style Cyberwar firing range moves forward

Thomas 4

Oo

Did that description actually make sense to anyone?

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MS denies secure boot will exclude Linux

Thomas 4
IT Angle

"No, no, we're not saying that at all."

"But we're certainly thinking it loudly."

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Samsung-Apple patent lawsuit tally hits 21, and counting

Thomas 4

Well duh

It was clearly Apple that invented them.

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Ministers kill off failed £12.7bn NHS IT revamp

Thomas 4

....beep....beep.....

Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep.

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Attention metal thieves: Buy BT, get 75 MILLION miles of copper

Thomas 4

How does the defence plead...

"to the petty theft of Britains entire telephone network?"

"Not guilty, yer honnor, the vulture made me do it."

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Lancs shale to yield '15 years' of gas for UK

Thomas 4
Meh

Ambivalent about this

I can't say I'm completely in favour of fossil fuels, what with potential greenhouse/climate stuff and it's limited duration. An *efficient* and *effective* renewable source would be my preferred choice, along with the elimination of world hunger, death sentence for all politicians and an Android phone that has regular updates.

That said, gas is one of the less damaging fossil fuels, there's a heck of a lot of it just waiting to be used and the spare change sure as heck could come in handy at the moment.

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EMC exec flames El Reg

Thomas 4
Flame

This is a flame?!

Where's the bad spelling? Where's the prolific use of impolite adjectives? Where are the foul insinuations about the author's parentage and behaviour of his mother.

0/10 fuking terible, must try harder, noob.

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Assange™ pens world's first unauthorised autobiography

Thomas 4

An error in the article

I noticed on 9 separate occasions that a trademark wasn't correctly identified as such.

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Mars trips could blind astronauts

Thomas 4

Meh.

So it looks like whatever ship is built for the task needs some way to generate even a minimal amount of gravity-like force.

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Mathematicians slam UK.gov plans to fund statistics only

Thomas 4
Boffin

Probability analysis

....suggests a highly likely outcome that you are correct.

Meanwhile the geometrists are telling the government to get bent, the fluid dynamanic analysists are watching their funding dry up and the astronomers are beseeching the heavens for answers.

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HP axes up to 525 webOS hardware staff

Thomas 4

Riiiight.

Someone needs to tell HP that "cutting edge" tech doesn't actually involve an axe.

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Online gamers strike major blow in battle against AIDS

Thomas 4

Almost

This is a perfect example of why gamers are awesome.

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Baltimore 'toilet bomber' acquitted

Thomas 4

As opposed to people nearby who were crapping themselves.

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Games review site goes titsup at launch

Thomas 4

Mind you.....

"We do, however, expect a rash of stories with headlines like “Teen dies after 48-hour non-stop gaming session” some time soon."

I'd probably die after a 48-hour *cough*gaming session*cough* as well, not to mention the wrist cramps.....

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Chinese bloke gets eel lodged up todger

Thomas 4

"Pics or it didn't happen"

I bet Lester does have piccies but he's just trying to wriggle out of it.

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Samsung preps anti-iPhone 5 lawsuit before it's even out

Thomas 4

I've just had a brilliant idea!

Why don't all the electronics giant patent absolutely everything, then we we can halt the progress of human development completely. In a few decades, civilisation will be reduced to a crumbling wasteland, populated by a strange, rodent-like scavenger that kills things by spraying them with sheets of paper secreted from a bodily orifice.

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Verity's secret shame revealed

Thomas 4
IT Angle

Oh, oh God....

It's all making sense now. Put me down for a pre-order of the HP Glados xd666c, with a side order of the Wheatley OS/2 Warp module.

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3D printing for artificial blood vessels

Thomas 4
Go

Cue moral outrage in T minus 5

It's a good advancement but my concern would be the residual plastic left in the blood stream after an artifical cell breaks down. Until the process can use fully organic and swiftly biodegradable plastics, I wouldn't feel happy about it being used in a transfusion.

However, if we're going to start speculating, this plastic blood could be used in things like replacement limbs, if you had some sort of membrane that could transfer oxygen from blood cells in the central body to the limb.

Another use could be the development of organic computers as a potential power source of some description, although the complexities of it would be way beyond my understanding.

"Science - it WORKS, bitches!" - XKCD

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Nigerians panic over killer calls

Thomas 4

Mental note

*create an email address ID09141@yahoo.co.uk and watch Ring for tips*

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Blue Screen of Death gets makeover for Windows 8

Thomas 4
IT Angle

Meh

I prefer the intimidatory feeling of the old BSOD. If I were making the changes, I'd make sure even more technical stuff filled the screen, possibly with an alarm sounding as well and a descending countdown timer.

But then, I really hate playing tech support for colleagues.

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