Re: X-rated Meerkats
I now have a mental image of a lady's intimate area singing opera. I hate you so much right now.
1524 posts • joined 11 Jun 2009
I now have a mental image of a lady's intimate area singing opera. I hate you so much right now.
Judging by the horrific grinding noises my DVD drive makes when it's installing something, I'd have to say yes.
I was kind of hoping for a scratch 'n' sniff card with it so that now you really can smell the Elderberries!
In my case, I pre-ordered Diablo III. The reason was twofold:
1) I wanted to play on launch day without having to waiting 13 hours to download the game.
2) I wanted the Collector's Edition, which *is* limited in quantity, with all the various cds, books and digital bits present and correct, something, unlikely with a second hand copy.
What actually happened was I ordered it through Amazon and from what I can gather the wretched thing still hasn't even left the damn warehouse yet. -.-
I merely used to *think* the El Reg forum crew were a deranged and perverse bunch of screw ups.
I dunno, I'd have to disagree that all Kickstarter games are like that. Grim Dawn springs to mind - the team developing it (the same guys that made Titan Quest) have managed to make the basic outline of the game including some very solid looking demos of actual gameplay footage and have turned to Kickstarter to get it finished off.
Not disagreeing with your take on the Carmageddon project - if they really did spend 333k just getting the naming rights before doing a spot of code - but don't be too quick to discourage others from looking into Kickstarter games.
Sadly though I doubt this game would sell in the modern day, especially as a multiplayer:
"FFS noob Head, you can't aim donuts worth shit!"
"lawl, fail Heels can't do the pick up & jump trick"
"Giant Vampire Squid" is not a bad analogy but it instantly puts me in mind of a Facehugger from Alien. You deeply regret making out with it and then find out in the worst possible way it left a little surprise for you.
I fall under the category of want Nokia to go back to what they were in the late 90's and early of 2000-2010. I want to see them push *original* ideas for phones, stuff like the Communicator range, the original N-series phones, the apocalypse surviving 6210. I want to see PHONES from them, not black slabs with Windows OS shoehorned into a generic form factor.
It's bad enough that we can't even sell on or pass on our games anymore and now you want us to rent our fucking consoles as well?
The Black Bus was supposed to stop outside RIM HQ.
Quick, someone phone Roland Emmerich! There's a disaster film in there somewhere!
When you think that the Moon is the closest celestial body to us and then realise it's still 350,000km away, it's a little disheartening to think how far we'd have to go to reach somewhere like Mars.
These things sucked blood like a Street View car sucks Wifi.
....admittedly it's a very, very faint pulse but it appears that Nokia is not creatively bankrupt yet after all.
If anyone's capable of realising when something isn't suitable for it's intended purpose, it's our MPs.
It still makes me snigger when I hear my South African colleagues refer to a USB stick or floppy disk as a "stiffy".
Well that's okay then, if no-one's actually been extradited. Gary McKinnon has been having a nice, relaxing easy life arranging his schedule around, lawyers, more lawyers and staring bankruptcy in the face to fight an extradition charge.
£22,000 worth of Macbooks. Now, being educationally minded, these probably aren't Macbook Pros but one of the older, pre-Air sorts. Now, assuming the school cough about £1k per laptop, factoring in bulk buying and less taxes, etc, it's 22 Macbooks.
In an adult, it can contain about 300ml, according to wikipedia or in another word's a Coke can's worth. In a child it's probably about the size of a Capri Sun.
I'm just trying to work out he would have arranged the Macbooks in order to ensure they all get soaked to bust the warranties. If he put them all in a huge stack, i.e. 22 ontop of each other, would he have been able to fire up to reach the ones on the top?
But then if he laid them out on the floor in a 4x5 grid arrangement, would there be enough surface area to cover them all....?
That, sunshine, depends an awful lot on the game in question.
Although graphically something like Elite is crap compared to a HD game like Skyrim, the gameplay mechanics of it are still as rock solid now as they were back then. Don't believe me? Fire up a good two player game like Ikari Warriors or Vindicators and plow through waves of baddies to the accompaniment of explosions everywhere. Or perhaps with your new found gaming leetness, you can finally finish off that game of Dizzy that you almost-finished-but-never-quite-made-it.
Sure, not everything that came out on an Amstrad or Spectrum was gaming gold and some of them were truly awful but to dismiss everything as being unworthy of a second playthrough many years later reeks of snobbery.
Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go back to that game of Syndicate I'm playing on GOG.
So having successfully thrown away the rose-tinted spectacles of nostalgia, you now spend your days looking through the rose tinited touchscreen of an iPad 3.
Yay for other Amstrad users! ^_^
CPC6128 user myself, with a COLOUR screen. Those were the days, when a game was £9.99 for a new release (or if you wanted to save yourself a multiloading headache, £14.99 for the disk version). The budget ranges like Hit Squad and the ever cheap and cheerful Codemasters releases with Fantasy World Dizzy, Magicland Dizzy and Dizzy in the Shamelessly Shoehorned Into What Would Otherwise Be A Crappy Puzzle Game Adventure.
The joys of Read Error B and its more evil cousin Read Error A. These no good punk kids don't appreciate what makes a good game these days....
It's in Poland?
No wonder I couldn't find it.
Pretty much this.
You can call it whatever you've been calling it for the past four years but the economy doesn't need a special label for everyone to know it's fucked.
Seconding all of these.
You also missed classics like Pitfall, Boulderdash and for CPCers amongst you - the Roland series (Roland in Time, Roland on the Ropes, etc). Also, I saw a reference to Adrian Mole but no Monty Mole? For shame.
This is going to sound appallingly arrogant but fuck it...
The thing that educated me most about computers wasn't the clapped out BBC Micro I had in middle school, because it was just one program we used on there to teach us how to form sentences, a task that could have been more easily done with a blackboard and a book.
It wasn't in secondary school either, where we used Acorns for 5 years and only had a brief glance at Windows 95 in our final year and what "IT" information was in the course was confused and pointless.
No, my real education started at the age of 5 or 6 with my Amstrad CPC and learning to type out lines of code in BASIC. Fiddling with bits of information here and there to see what would happen (hint: it usually ended in the phrase "syntax error").
The next phase of my education came with my dad's 286DX PC and a floppy disk that offered to teach me the mysteries of MS-DOS. It started as boring distraction but the more I messed around with file systems the moer I began to enjoy myself and the knowledge I was gaining.
Phase 3 still haunts my nightmares even now and it's all thanks to Desert Strike. A highly frustrating game in itself but even getting to the final mission of the final campaign and dying to a lack of fuel was nothing compared to getting to actually run. Yes, from this monumental pain in the arse I learned how to edit config.sys and autoexec.bat files - the arcane mysteries of EMM386.exe, LOADHIGH and HIMEM, all trying to squeeze the right mix of memory in order to run it.
Then came Windows 95 and my inevitable surrender to a non-command line OS. Again, most of what I learned came from trying to run games - things such as drivers, installing new hardware and basic PC housekeeping. My dad had finally relented at this point at got me my own PC at last. The blistering speed with which it ran when it had a whopping 16Mb RAM.
I guess the point of this horribly self indulgent wall of text is that most of the stuff I learned about computers didn't come from school tuition, which in my teenage arrogance I saw as being vastly below me, but instead came from crashes, debugging and a burning desire to play games.
I still have fond memories of almost failing my computing A-level. I got bored with the database they'd asked us to work on and instead spent my time building a quite passable game of pontoon with an AI that knew when to bet and when to hold.
So you mean our Silicon Roundabout really *can't* compete with Google, Apple, Microsoft and Facebook?
Yup - you've nailed it there.
Cruise put in a fairly decent performance, the special effects were good and the terraforming sequence was creepy as hell....
...but that kid, that ENDLESSLY SCREAMING KID. Jesus.
I too have fond memories of my earlier Nokia phones. I loves my faithful 6210 with its cutting edge IR port for my Psion Revo. I remember the bold designs Nokia came out with in its first launch of the N-series, the N90 that changed from a clamshell phone into a camcorder (sort of).
And now? We have an endless series of the same boring black square slabs that every other manufacturer is cranking out, except with an OS that Joe Public doesn't understand and techies do not like.
Fuck Elop and his reinvented Nokia.
Someone's been playing Company of Heroes too much....;)
That is all.
"Trumped up allegations of sexual assault"?
While he is facing a charge of sexual assault, should you really be saying whether it's trumped up or not?
....perhaps an interview with the hapless pilot in charge of this suicide mission could be fun....;)
And when he's on dialysis later in life, he can tweet it from his iPhone and use his iPad to renew his 10 different types of medication online!
"[The UHS-1 interface] allows consumers to enjoy high-quality images and video playback directly from the memory cards."
So where the fuck have I been watching stuff stored on my memory cards before?!
Much to my shame, I admit using Yahoo for a quick view of the days headlines and it's absolutely repulsive. The articles lack spell checking, have never seen an editor of any sort and the comments section seems to have been taken over by Neo-Nazis all hellbent on out-trolling each other.
I need a new news website. -.-
I'm afraid I'm with the others on this - you need to link documents and research to back up your claims otherwise you'll have a hard time convincing people.
Then this is it:
"The wider problem with patents is – and it's a problem the software industry as a whole faces, open or closed, is that there are a lot of crappy patents out there,"
...but I'm sure I wasn't the only that had to stop and wonder for a moment.
Hmmmm. The PS3 isn't completely bereft of ideas - check out a title called "Journey" on the PSN. Very beautifully done adventury-platform game.
Ahh, true love.
'Twould be so much simpler if everyone had access to flamethrowers.
They deserve everything they get after those Michael Bay monstrosities. The animated Transformers Movie with the voices of Orson Wells, Leonard Nimoy and Eric Idle is the only one as far as I'm concerned.
Maybe we could turn into a drinking game. Every time you see something that's potentially patentable, you take a swig of your favourite tipple.
" Apple's proposal, we're told, has the nano-SIM the same length as a micro-SIM is wide, encouraging the user to jam the wrong SIM into the slot."
Patent Pending: Case marking showing where to insert SIM card. *drinks*
"The addition of a loading tray, as proposed by Apple..."
Patent Pending: Grav sled SIM card insterion method. *drinks*
I forsee myself getting quite drunk after reading a Samsung or Apple article.
After all, HP is TOTALLY COMMITED to the future of WebOS.
Die in a fire please. Slowly.
I'd forgotten that wretched video until you brought it up. >:(
Be nice. Nazgul will only attempt to murder you and enslave your soul to Sauron. Completely different from copyright lawyers.
I take it we're not talking about Neil Marshall (Of Dog Soldiers and Descent)'s "Doomsday" right? Because I quite liked that one.
I would like to put forward my two nominations:
Never Been Kissed starring Drew Barrymore. I'm not overly keen on romantic films at the best of times but this was the most god-awful and unfunny piece of crap I have ever seen.
Alternatively, M Night Shyalaman's entire body of work. Sixth Sense was utterly predictable and Haley Joel Osmont got on my tits, Unbreakable....well it was ok I guess. The Village dragged on without going anywhere and don't even get me started on The Happening.
You are likely to be eaten by a sperm whale.
This could be a chance for Nokia to claw back some market presence. Part of the reason that Android tablets haven't taken over iPads (and please, please, let's not go down this route until after I've finished speaking) is because some of the Android names like Lenevo, Asus and HTC are not as well known amongst the less tech savy older generation. "Nokia", however, is a name that still carries weight with them, despite their recent horrific attempts at making phones.
IF Nokia can make the tablet easy to use and IF they can reach this market, then it could be the lifebelt Nokia needs in an Apple flavoured sea populated with Android sharks.
Out of the radioactive holocaust, as civilisation freezes under a nuclear winter, vault dwellers will ponder the meaning of the words that led to mankind's demise.