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* Posts by Alpha Tony

236 posts • joined 11 Jun 2009

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JINGS! Microsoft Bing called Scots indyref RIGHT!

Alpha Tony

Is this the end of the world as we know it?

Bing got something right ?! Surely this can only be followed with rains of frogs, plagues of locusts and the seas turning to blood?

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Apple's iWatch? They cannae do it ... they don't have the POWER

Alpha Tony

Re: If Samsung can do it then surely Apple can...

" I'm still not convinced there's a real market for these things. "

We all said the same about the i-pad and now everyone and their cat seems to have a tablet.

We even have one in the house (in a drawer, still boxed, as the girlfriend got it as a freebie and we still can't see the point!), so I'm going to reserve judgement here... Apple seem to be masters at generating markets where none seems to exist.

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Tricked by satire? Get all your news from Facebook? You're in luck, dummy

Alpha Tony

Hmmm

Can we get them to apply the tag to any forwarded article from the Daily Mail please?

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Murder accused DIDN'T ask Siri 'how to hide my roommate'

Alpha Tony

'Evidence was also tendered to the effect that the answers to Bravo's query included suggestions about swamps and reservoirs being fine places to hide a roommate.'

Investigators say that it is unfortunately highly unlikely they will find the body, as attempting to find the location of the swamps and reservoirs on Apple maps has so far proved impossible,

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London cops cuff 20-year-old man for unblocking blocked websites

Alpha Tony

'It's the City of London police - they don't need to do evidence or law or courts.'

Ah, so he was black then?

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Why do Reg readers deserve the big bucks? Here's why...

Alpha Tony

Good God! Who decorated that room? Just looking at the picture for a few seconds gave me a headache. I can't imagine sitting in there for any period of time without having a seizure..

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British Lords: Euro 'right to be forgotten' ruling 'unreasonable and unworkable'

Alpha Tony

Re: have I got this right?

You're changing the emphasis here. I didn't say that I was 'going around constantly saying "That big_D guy was arrested for murder"', I specifically said when people mentioned his/her name. Upon discussing an individual it is surely entirely natural to mention the most news-worthy thing that you know about them. Provided I stuck to the unembellished facts you wouldn't have a leg to stand on claiming defamation.

As I implied in my later post, if I knew something more interesting about them then that would likely be my conversational gambit, but as I don't they are stuck with this. The same principle applies with Google.

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Alpha Tony

Re: have I got this right?

It shouldn't be the first thing that pops into my head every time someone mentions your name in a pub either, as I'm sure you are a fascinating and well-rounded individual and you almost certainly didn't do it anyway.

The thing is though, it is the most interesting thing I know about you, so that is what immediately comes to mind when someone says your name. It's the same with Google, and while it might be nice for you were that not the case, I fail to see how they can possibly be legally compelled to censor their results to hide information that is in the public domain, for your comfort.

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Alpha Tony

Re: have I got this right?

So... Say we live in the same town where you had been arrested for murder and released without charge and any time anyone mentions your name I say 'I know that big_D fella - He was arrested for murder'. Legally I am totally entitled to do that because I am not slandering you, I am just reporting the truth. Why should it be any different for Google?

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Scotland's BIG question: Will independence cost me my broadband?

Alpha Tony

I already voted with my feet and am happily settled in a country with better weather and cheaper beer. I thoroughly recommend leaving the UK, but leaving it and still having to live in Scotland seems pointless.

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NSA: It's TRUE, we grab 200 MILLION of your text messages A DAY globally

Alpha Tony

@a lot of border crossings a day

Not necessarily. Driving around near a country border can cause your phone to roam back and forth between cell towers on either side, which could be interpreted as repeatedly crossing the border and for people that live near the border this would be going on all the time.

Borders in Europe are completely porous anyway, so people that live near one may well legitimately cross it lots of times a day anyway..

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Star Wars VII set for Xmas release. Ho, ho, ho... not THIS Christmas

Alpha Tony

Re: Oh noes...

Not true - the original three star wars movies WERE special and so was Firefly, but the problem is you can't go back. Any sequel (to either) will lack the same zeitgeist. The actors have moved on, the audience have moved on, the writers have moved on. Any second season of Firefly would be inferior to the original and so would inevitably be disappointing and no Star Wars sequel will ever live up to those original three movies. We need to accept that.

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Ministry of Sound sues Spotify over user playlists

Alpha Tony

Well perhaps if they employed some skilled DJs to actually mix the tracks together in a creative and imaginative way they would still have a unique selling point.

If a user can just stick a load of tracks together in the same order and get a comparable experience then frankly they aren't really offering much and they deserve to lose the business.

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Jackboot dangled over NSA's throat for US spy dragnet outrage

Alpha Tony

Rather than 'Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act' they should have called it 'Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Telecommunication Examination Directive'. Has a nice ring to it.

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France's 'three strikes' anti-piracy law shot down

Alpha Tony

Re: You can't.

How can you say that? Who would want to live in a world without Simon Cowell?

And what about all those hardworking software engineers that make auto-tune software?

You sir are a monster.

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Doctor Who? 12th incarnation sought after Matt Smith quits

Alpha Tony

Re: Simon Russell Beale

Is he the one that runs the Cafe in Eastenders?

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Alpha Tony

What about..

..Travis Richey just to mess with Community fans?

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That $1,000 the lad in Lagos needed? Just email it with Google Wallet

Alpha Tony

Re: Holiday Money?

The thing is.. if you get a letter in terrible English, full of spelling mistakes from someone claiming to be the ex-president of the United States it might seem plausible...

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Microsoft to unveil new Xbox console on May 21

Alpha Tony

Hashtags? #fuckbackofftotwitter

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Court orders Visa partner to allow donations to WikiLeaks

Alpha Tony

Re: Makes sense to me

More likely to be the other way I would have thought : Asda is owned by Wallmart, so is American, whereas Tesco is not...

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You know how your energy bills are SO much worse than they were?

Alpha Tony

Re: "There is no mainstream party [...] which offers to dismantle these crippling stealth taxes"

'What about UKIP'

I have just read through the document you linked to and I must say it was pretty much in-line with what I would expect from our very own 'UK tea party'.

Their policy seems to be:

1) Question whether climate change is man-made at all

2) State that as China/India/The US won't reduce emissions why should we.

3) Blame the EU for everything that they can.

4) Blame the government for anything else.

5) Suggest Shale Gas and fracking as the solution to all of our problems.

What a complete crock of right-wing twaddle.

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Dutch MP must cough €750 for hacking into medical lab

Alpha Tony

Re: What lax security?

If a system that contains confidential medical records is accessible from the internet with just a username and password then that is incredibly lax security. For a system of this kind offsite connection should only be via an encrypted VPN with token access. I'm amazed some script kiddie hasn't already brute-forced the system and taken them to the cleaners.

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Barclays: So sorry about LIBOR... How about some free Wi-Fi?

Alpha Tony

'What's the point?'

Y'know... Because online is better.

That's why we need toasters that can connect to twitter (#toast #crumpets #poptarts) and the ability to connect to facebook while having a root canal ('Tony is in incredible pain' / '51 people like this').

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Spanish cops cuff 11 for €1m-a-year ransomware scam

Alpha Tony

You are assuming 11 equal partners, when in reality most of those arrested are probably minor accomplices who were getting a few thousand Euros here and there for basic fetching and carrying. The main players would have been making several hundred thousand Euros a year each, which given this scam has been running several years could well have made them millionaires.

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Ask Google this impossible question, get web filth as a reward

Alpha Tony

The bug is also triggered by other such implausible query strings, such as "1 2" -2,

Is that the string for 1 cup, 2 girls, both take a number 2?

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Recipe for a bad day: 'State-backed hackers are attacking your PC'

Alpha Tony

Re: I wonder...

Why would they bother hacking? I would be very surprised if the CIA don't already have unlimited access to your Gmail account, your facebook and anything else hosted in the US.

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YouTube's hilarious cat videos could soon cost you $5 a month

Alpha Tony

Re: Because we're hooked

'It's like drugs.'

No way man - NO WAY - I can quit any time. I can. I just don't want to alright? Those kittens are just so damn cute. You just don't understand man. If God didn't want us to watch kittens why did he create the internet? Why are you asking all these questions? Are you a narc? Where's my pizza? I ordered it ages ago. I'll just check online and see if it's been dispatched... Oh look- Kittens. Nice. What were we talking about again?

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Victims of 'revenge pr0n' sue GoDaddy, smut site

Alpha Tony

Re: Hmmmmmm. morality and lawyers.

'I'd argue that those who were posted about had an expectation of privacy'

I'm not sure if that holds up in court though does it? I was under the impression that if someone takes pictures of you with your consent on their own property what they then do with them is their own business - They own the pictures, not the model.

I'm not defending the scumbags that post stuff like this as they are clearly arseholes of the highest order, but I'm not sure they are actually breaking the law...

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PR people 'put duty to the public ahead of employers' interests'

Alpha Tony

Re: Pat11

Onion sauce? Sounds delicious!

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NRA: Video games kill people, not guns. And here's our video game

Alpha Tony

Re: @AC@Mooseman

Are you genuinely from the UK AC? I'm not convinced you really are, but if so then you are in a really, really tiny minority. British people are overwhelmingly in favour of strict gun control and I guarantee you that if you asked 1000 at random ~99% would say that relaxing gun control here would make them feel less safe.

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Alpha Tony

@Matt

I wasn't saying they should not shoot at targets with people on them Matt, I was just comparing that to shooting people in a computer game. In most games the people you shoot are trying to kill you, so it is simulated self-defence, just like your target shooting.

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Alpha Tony

The real tragedy here

is that they are threatening to send Piers Morgan back.

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Alpha Tony

'They are against games where you shoot PEOPLE'

Really? Then why do a lot of gun ranges have a picture of a man on the target?

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Instagram back-pedals in face of user outrage

Alpha Tony

@AC 'some people really need to get some perspective'

Some people really need to look up 'hyperbole' !

;)

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Alpha Tony

Re: Oh, they are everyone's friend

' but Google+ or Twitter provide an escape, or people could even go retro and find their way back to Myspace'

Um.. How about the escape of not putting all your private information up on the internet in the first place?

Posting anything that you want private (especially pictures) to any social network is like hiring Gary Glitter to watch the kids.

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AssangeTM spins Oz Senate candidacy again

Alpha Tony

Hmmm.

'he believes the Swedish charges against him will be dropped, which invites the question why he remains inside the Ecuadorian embassy. '

Beats paying rent doesn't it?

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YES! It's the TARDIS PC!

Alpha Tony

I have to say..

..Want!

I'll have to replace all the windows system sounds with samples of Tardis noises too. :)

..Of course there is a strong chance I'll have to look for a new companion after my girlfriend finds out I have spunked 2 grand of our savings on geeking-up the flat even more.

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Parliament: Snoop Charter plan 'too sweeping', 'misleading', 'suspicious'

Alpha Tony

Won't someone please think of the children?

'her planned law would "save lives" by flushing out terrorists and paedophiles'

This is a great idea. The thing is though that most kiddy fiddling and terrorist plotting happens offline, inside houses. So perhaps some sort of camera in every room of every house in the country would be appropriate? Sure it would be expensive and there would be some potential for abuse, but can you really put a price on the life of a child?

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Instagram starts filtering out hipster pics on Twitter

Alpha Tony

Re: who's content?

I'm 'Content' and so is my wife!

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Chinese student fails job interview because of iPhone

Alpha Tony

Re: Really? Is that the best reference you can do?

Of course I am aware that China isn't exactly a communist state any more (some would argue it never really was). That wasn't my point - It is all about perception outside of the country.

Apple charge a premium for their products because they are seen as desirable and far from 'Apple bashing' as you implied, this article actually reinforces that impression.. so I smell a rat. Do other large companies do the same? Of course! Apple just seem to be the best at manipulating the media in this way (in my opinion).

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Alpha Tony

Re: Really? Is that the best reference you can do?

@dx 'Only El Reg would fall for that in their quest to find shit to say about Apple'

Actually this sounds like the sort of thing that Apple 'sponsors' in the media to make their overpriced products seem desirable.

A free I-Pad for the journalist and Japanese readers get a story about how Apple products are so exclusive and desirable that their poor oppressed neighbours are 'kicked out of the communist club' for owning one.

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Assange: Google, Facebook run 'side projects' for US spooks

Alpha Tony

Re: True, all true...

'But Julian is still an arse.'

I'd say he's more of a dick and those guys are arseholes.

And we need dicks to f*ck arseholes, or they cover us in sh*t.

But dicks also f*ck pussies... which is why he is wanted in Sweden.

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Ready for ANOTHER patent war? Apple 'invents' wireless charging

Alpha Tony

Re: Prior art?

'I think Nikola Tesla may have a few things to say on applying power at a distance wirelessly..'

I think Apple's lawyers may have a few things to say about Tesla stealing their idea using the dirty underhand tactic of thinking of it first.

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Kim Dotcom claims entrapment by US authorities

Alpha Tony

@a mental image of DotCom dressed in a skin-tight cat-suit

Argh! It burns! It burns!

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Telcos react coldly to renewed UK.gov smut-censoring push

Alpha Tony

But...

..Can't they just put a net over the tube to catch all the bad stuff?

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Sorority girls gone WILD: '1 to 3' casual sex 'hookups' every MONTH

Alpha Tony

Re: WTF? pfft Americans

'With modern medicine STDs are more under control'

Um, no. No they aren't.

http://www.tableausoftware.com/public/gallery/stds

Chlamydia, Gonorrhoea and Syphilis are all on the rise and Aids has not gone away - We just became desensitised to stories about it, so the media stopped running them.

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