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* Posts by Johnny Canuck

229 posts • joined 11 Jun 2009

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RISE of the LIVING CHAIR: Boffins recruit E coli to build futuristic materials

Johnny Canuck

Since its E. coli, wouldn't a stool be more appropriate?

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This city's smog is so TERRIBLE, people are told to stay indoors. Beijing? No – PARIS

Johnny Canuck

Here in Canada

We have our own problem with the French polluting our airwaves with more talk of separation. Which gives me a foot in the door for a French joke.

Two cats, an English cat and a French cat decide to have a swimming race across the Ottawa river. The English cat is named One Two Three and the French cat is named Un Deux Trois. Who won the race?

The English cat. Un Deux Trois cat sank,.

Most French people don't get it.

Coat, hat, gone.

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Elon Musk slams New Jersey governor over Tesla direct sales ban

Johnny Canuck

Dealerships

I thought the reason for dealerships rather than direct sales was to stop the manufacturers from dumping product below cost to drive out competition. Also, brand name dealerships will sell used models from different manufacturers that they took as trade-ins. In effect, its a protection for consumers in the long run. I may be wrong on my perceived reason for dealerships,but if I'm right then Tesla's push for their own "boutique" dealerships may actually harm consumers. Whats wrong with letting Tesla open up their own dealerships that also peddle other used models?

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Pine trees' scent 'could prevent climate change really being a problem'

Johnny Canuck

Pity the poor tree that spends years growing into a mighty pine, only to give its life to be arsewipe.

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Reg HPC man relives 0-day rootkit GROUNDHOG DAY

Johnny Canuck

Perhaps

Something like this.

http://tinyurl.com/kswvpjh

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Mountain bike mishap man suffers SEVEN WEEK stiffie

Johnny Canuck

A fistulous communication

I thought that was what happened outside of bars at closing time.

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Linksys's über-hackable WRT wireless router REBORN with 802.11ac

Johnny Canuck

Few will buy it at this price. The original was around $60-$80 when it came out.

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Gay hero super-boffin Turing 'may have been murdered by MI5'

Johnny Canuck

I thought he died when the spaceship he and Elvis were on crashed into Loch Ness, killing the monster.

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Fragged, fragged and thrice fragged! 20 years of id Software’s Doom

Johnny Canuck

cyberdemon

The cyberdemon boss at the end of the first set of levels scared the crap out of me. The sound of his metallic footsteps growing louder as he approached and his beastly roar would send me into panic mode and I'd just start running until I couldn't hear him anymore. Good times.

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El Reg's contraptions confessional no.2: Tablet PC, CRT screen and more

Johnny Canuck

You're lucky

When I were a lad I had to make my own converters. My coco 3 rgb worked with nothing (except their own crappy monitor). I got hold of an Amiga monitor, built my own cable from mud and stout maple trees (and a 74ls02 to swap hsync). Aye, and I considered myself lucky.

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Martians yet to retaliate after Curiosity's 100,000th laser strike

Johnny Canuck

At this very moment the Martians are preparing the Illudium Q-36 Explosive Space Modulator to blow up the planet Earth (for obstructing their view of Venus).

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El Reg Contraption Confessional No.1: The Dragon 32 micro

Johnny Canuck

Still have a Color Computer III with 2 disk drives I pull out occasionally. There is still active development on the NitrOS-9 operating system for it.

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Exciting new BRAZILIAN PUSSY FINGERED by overjoyed boffins

Johnny Canuck

Funny

I googled Brazilian pussy and didn't see any cat pictures. I'll keep looking though.

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Hyenas FACEBOOK each other with their ARSES: FACT

Johnny Canuck

I liked the "bum juice facebook" headline you had earlier.

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Which Who to view? Pick one from two: Doctor Who twin trailers hit the interwebs

Johnny Canuck

I like the rebooted Dr. Who. The special effects are not overdone in my opinion. In any case, this episode seems to have something to do with the time war and I admit to some curiosity about this portion of the Doctor's life.

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SCIENCE and RELIGION AGREE! LIFE and Man ARE from CLAY

Johnny Canuck

I'd think life would be more likely to evolve around underwater thermal vents, given that there are organisms there that exist on chemicals in the water, don't need light etc. Wouldn't that environment more closely approximate the early earth?

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Can't stand the heat? Harden up if you want COLD, DELICIOUS BEER

Johnny Canuck

Haven't read the paper but a plausible explanation occurs to me. When you place two containers of differing temperature liquids in the freezer, the cooler one will gain heat energy from the energy the hotter one is losing, and may actually rise in temperature ( or at least cool at a slower rate). This condition will persist until the two containers reach an equilibrium. At that point the one that started out hot will cool faster because it has lost more mass due to a higher evaporation rate.

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Have you reinstalled Windows yet? No, I just want to PRINT THIS DAMN PAGE

Johnny Canuck

Want to have some fun with the office printer and screw with your coworkers at the same time? This only works with HP compatible printers with a display on the printers front panel. Google around for a file called HPNT.EXE and use it thusly.

hpnt 192.168.1.96 "Insert Correct Change"

Be sure to use your printers IP address.

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Hard-as-woodpecker-lips MOUSE GOBBLES live scorpion, LAUGHS off stings to face

Johnny Canuck

...and not a single f@#k was given.

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Surface 2 MYSTERY: Haswell's here, so WHY the duff battery life?

Johnny Canuck

Maybe network activity blabbing about the owner.

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MEGA ASTEROID could 'BLOW UP EARTH' - Russian space boss

Johnny Canuck

Great!

I'll be 80 years old by then so it'll either be a heck of a way to go out or funny as hell watching all the nutbars panic.

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Man+iPhone versus artificial intelligence: Anki robot racer slot cars

Johnny Canuck

I remember, when I was a younger man, dating the mother of a 10 year old boy. I remember him screaming in frustration and throwing the Nintendo controller into the TV screen over some game he was having trouble with. I can picture iphones flying over this.

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Who here needs to explain things to ELEPHANTS?

Johnny Canuck

Perhaps a good way to distract a charging rogue elephant. Point emphatically in any direction that doesn't lead to you while shouting "Hey elephant! Look! Look over there!". Then madly dash in the other direction.

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Feds smash internet drug bazaar Silk Road, say they'll KEELHAUL 'Dread Pirate Roberts'

Johnny Canuck

How can they seize bitcoins? I thought they were held in a secure "wallet".

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TUPPERWARE FOUND ON MOON of Saturn

Johnny Canuck

The astronauts can spin it into a polypropylene filament which they can then use in their new 3D printers to make ... er, tupperware.

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We've cracked riddle of ANTIGRAVITY mountains on Saturn's Titan - boffins

Johnny Canuck

Obviously

The mountains are made of unobtainium.

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Oz sawbones extract fork from old boy's todger: Gents, start your wincing

Johnny Canuck

kinda gives new meaning

to the phrase "stick a fork in him...he's done".

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No distro diva drama here: Penguinista favourite Debian turns 20

Johnny Canuck

Debian

Spent a lot of time distro hopping, sampling the various flavors of Linux, a few years ago. One day I found Mint 7 and was shocked at how well done it was. Mint 7 was actually a viable desktop replacement for Windows. In those days Mint was only based on Ubuntu, though a much improved version of Ubuntu. After Mint 8, I thought I'd try Debian as both Ubuntu, and consequently Mint, were based off that. Its the only distro I use now and has put the fun back into computing for me. I like being able to totally customize my desktop and use strictly XFCE.

Happy birthday Debian!

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Obama cancels meeting Putin in Russia, says Snowden 'a factor'

Johnny Canuck

Geez Trevor

Been hitting the Molson's a little early today?

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Penguins, I give you: The SOLAR-POWERED Ubuntu laptop

Johnny Canuck

It makes sense

It says right there on the site - free power, free software. I think they are promoting it as free power + free software = freedom (also, presumably, freedom from malware). Even their video, which I liked, seems to be aimed at people who spend a lot of time outdoors (more freedom than office drones).

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Climate change EVEN WORSE than you thought: It causes WAR and MURDER

Johnny Canuck

Simple

When the weather's hot and sticky, that's no time for dunking dickie.

When the frost is on the punkin', that's the time for dickie dunkin'.

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Norks taunt, yank Yanks' crank over PRISM: US is 'rights abuse kingpin'

Johnny Canuck
Joke

I was talking to a North Korean the other day and we were arguing about who has the freest state. I told him I could walk into the President's office and pound on his desk and say "Mr. President, I don't like the job you are doing". The North Korean laughed and said he could do that too. Dumbfounded, I asked "Really?". and he replied "Certainly, I can walk into Glorious Presidents office, pound on his desk and say Mr. President, I don't like the job the American President is doing!".

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Boffins plan to drop €250,000 TEST-TUBE BURGER on London

Johnny Canuck

What about fat?

A good burger needs a certain amount of fat to make it really delicious.

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Debian 7 debuts

Johnny Canuck

Downloaded via Bittorrent, but not installed yet - too busy today.

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Review: Disgo 8400G 7.9in Android tablet

Johnny Canuck

I can almost picture these 7" pads with SIM slot being the video phones many have been waiting for.

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Raspberry Pi space jaunt ends in dramatic mountain rescue

Johnny Canuck

Here in Canada

Hab fans are to be looked down upon, denigrated and ridiculed - especially when they lose to the beloved Leafs.

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Anons torn over naming 'n' shaming of 17yo's gang-rape suspects

Johnny Canuck

There are pictures of the crime circulating - one of the reasons she felt persecuted. If the rapists faces are in any of the pictures, or if they are identifiable through the pictures, and the crown still didn't proceed then something is wrong. It is ultimately the crown who decides whether or not to proceed with charges. If the mounties didn't do their job properly then the blames lies with them.

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LOHAN slips into tight rubber outfit

Johnny Canuck

When might we expect a test launch to verify the launch angle and behavior immediately after launch?

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Chinese Army: US hacks us so much, I'm amazed you can read this

Johnny Canuck

video

I laughed at how the Americans are portrayed in the video and - oh noes - the secret formula for coke!

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Boffins find RAT-SIZED bug-muncher links man to beast

Johnny Canuck

So,,,

What did that critter evolve from - thin air? There had to be something a little bit less mammalian for that to evolve from - maybe some kind of monotreme-like critter.

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Earth-like planets abound in red dwarf systems

Johnny Canuck

Krypton

Obviously.

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Schoolgirl's Hello Kitty catonaut soars to 93,000ft

Johnny Canuck

Those GoPro cameras are fantastic

They're everywhere today.

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Brit boffins build projectile-vomiting robot to kill norovirus

Johnny Canuck
Coffee/keyboard

head movement

They don't seem to have taken into account the head movement that usually accompanies vomiting - straight out, followed by a downward arcing spew, ending at the feet. Also, what about consistency, watery or chunky? How can we take this research seriously? Keyboard for, well, you know.

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Google, Microsoft go head to head in Santa-tracking tech race

Johnny Canuck

Goole tracker

Lets you send a phone message from Santa. Have fun.

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Quadriplegic woman demos advanced mind-control of robot arm

Johnny Canuck

I for one

welcome our new robotic arm controlling cyborg overlords.

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Business sues for $750,000 over bad Yelp review

Johnny Canuck

Perhaps if he had performed the contracted work in a timely and professional manner he wouldn't have gotten a bad review. Maybe if he had attempted to make things right with his client, she wouldn't have raked him over the coals online. However, I don't want to just say everything is his fault because I know from personal experience that you just can't please some people. She may have kept adding more work or changes to the original contract and didn't want to pay anything extra for it.

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Australian cops bust Romanian credit card thieves

Johnny Canuck

Thieves

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Boss wrong to demote man over anti-gay-marriage Facebook post

Johnny Canuck

If you don't support gay marriage this could happen.

NSFW

http://ca.shine.yahoo.com/blogs/shine-on/gay-men-marry-girlfriends-video-goes-viral-183041112.html

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Fart-buster underpants selling well among Japanese salarymen

Johnny Canuck

Well, looks like the Underpants Gnomes have figured out step 2.

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Humans becoming steadily STUPIDER, says brainiac boffin

Johnny Canuck

ha ha. stoopid prof don't no sheet from shinola. of coarse peeps is smarter now.

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