* Posts by nsld

646 posts • joined 10 Jun 2009

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Oh no, startup Massive Analytic unleashes 'artificial precognition'

nsld
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Terminator

So no different

To Tesco Clubcard then.

They find your patterns and offer you vouchers to match those patterns.

Fortunately for them they have a closed data set which makes this easier but can still be skewed if like me you purchase stuff for an office and buy lots of coffee, fruit and biscuits from them which masks a lot of my normal shopping habits.

If someone walks into a shopping mall and the system can see this its pretty obvious why you are visiting so spamming ads at specific geolocations is probably about as far as future predictions get, after all, you dont go into a shoe shop to buy toothpaste!

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Black and blue: The rise of the riotous Richard Pryor

nsld
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Mushroom

No wonder

People think the I.T industry is packed full of humourless social inadequates who will spontaneously combust if they see sunlight!

In keeping with the article and the great man himself if you don't like this non I.T related shit then fuck off to ars technica motherfucker!

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New low for humanity: ONE BEELLION lost souls log on to Facebook in one day

nsld
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Re: "sapiens" is from the Latin word for "wise"

I doubt they would understand, perhaps "homo twatspanner" would be more appropriate

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Apple will reveal new iPhone on Sept 9 – this is what it may look like

nsld
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Paris Hilton

Re: Some exclusive features

Problem with that is you would have a lot of fanbois with chipped teeth........

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French woman gets €800 a month for electromagnetic-field 'disability'

nsld
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Re: There's a special place for people like that...

Not wanting to insult your wife but the old bat may just have the hearing of one!

Rather than it being EM it could be very high frequency noise she hears or possibly a short term bout of tinnitus.

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Can't get a woop, woop! Twitter gives politicians nice Gaffe-Delete button

nsld
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Simple solution

Automated retweet bot monitoring the account, once its retweeted it can be scraped and stored outside of twatter.

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LA explosion knocks LogMeIn's British customers offline

nsld
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Mushroom

So this begs the question

What would you need to blow up to stop Shania Twain?

As for logmein words like "geographical dispersal" and "fail over" apparently aren't in the DR plan.

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Hacking Team mulled stopping Ethiopia sales – because of idiot g-men

nsld
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Facepalm

Is anyone surprised?

The investigation went like this:

Minion 1: these Ethiopians are a bit dodgy and not very cuddly or pink and fluffy

Minion 2: they pay us a million euros a year

Minion 1: clean bill of health it is then.

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Kaspersky: Freemasons coded fake malware in the Bermuda Triangle

nsld
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Meanwhile

My shares in bacofoil continue to rise. ....

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Apple's AirDrop abused by 'cyber-flashing' London train perv

nsld
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Re: Personal responsibility?

@dougs

Probably for the same reason people check they have locked the door when they leave the house each day.

Set and forget only works in a static environment and phone OS are not static.

That's why

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nsld
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FAIL

Personal responsibility?

It doesn't matter how crap apples implementation of this feature is , its upto the user to take responsibility for securing the device.

The only people at risk are those who don't secure the device.

It really is that simple, she can be as mortified as she likes that she got a random cock picture but she needs to take some responsibility for leaving the device wide open.

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Texas senator Ted Cruz serves up sizzling 'machine gun bacon'

nsld
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Going to be a vote winner

Clever move, show support for the NRA lobby in Texas where everyone is tooled up with a vast array of military hardware and at the same time take a dig at those pesky bacon dodgers waging war against the rest of the civilized world in various sandpits in the Middle East.

I guess Mr Cruz's PR team don't think the Jewish lobby is that important in US politics.

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Apple, Google should give FBI every last drop of user information, says ex-HP CEO and wannabe US prez Carly Fiorina

nsld
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Oh dear

Along with Taco Tuesday we now have Fuckwitt Friday.

Why would anyone vote for this loon?

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BOFH: My diary is MINE and mine alone, you petty HR gimps

nsld
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meeting rejection

Its in the same place in 2010, go to file > Options > calendar, scroll to the bottom and click on "resource scheduling"

Once you check the boxes you can set the groups it impacts.

Be aware if you have global offices and random early morning/late night requests coming in, if so you need to make sure you dont end up accepting meetings at 2am!

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Arctic ice EMBIGGENS, returns to 1980s levels of cap cover

nsld
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Pint

Good News

I am off to celebrate by slinging a couple of Penguins on the BBQ.

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Brit school software biz unchains lawyers after crappy security exposed

nsld
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Facepalm

Worth remembering

That lawyers have no power.

Given the claims made by the provider over its security are clearly false perhaps a charge of fraud by misrepresentation would be in order.

Along with a slapping for being a bunch of cockwombles when it comes to security.

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Toyota recalls 625,000 hybrids: Software bug kills engines dead with THERMAL OVERLOAD

nsld
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Mushroom

If only

Guardian readers didn't exist we wouldn't need these automotive abominations in the first place.

How anyone can feel a loss of performance in a Prius is a miracle in its own right, they are about as effective as a eunuch at an orgy and provide just as much pleasure as well.

I doubt even a full Nismo work over could make a Prius enjoyable as a car.

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Hacking Team: We're the good guys, but SO misunderstood. Like Batman

nsld
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Maybe

He should sell guns, after all, second hand Italian rifles have never been fired and only dropped once.....

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'I'm COMING for you, DIRTBAG!': Ex-Sony chief Smedley to Kid Lizard hacker

nsld
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I bet

That Mr Smedley doesn't nickel and dime on security anymore.

Its both ironic and perhaps justified that his own personal data, like that of his 200 million odd customers got taken and abused thanks to his woeful approach to security, ultimately as the CEO the buck stops with him.

Of course I am not justifying the criminality of the kid in Finland but I do think Mr Smedley doth protest too much. I am probably not alone in thinking that Mr Smedley should do some prison time for his security failures and data losses.

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Hacking Team: Oh great, good job, guys ... now the TERRORISTS have our zero-day exploits

nsld
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Mushroom

The first rule of twat club

Is to stop publicly highlighting just how much of an inept bunch of twats you are!

Bleating and moaning because you failed in such an epic fashion is probably the worse p.r possible and they deserve to crash and burn.

And that's not withstanding the money they have made providing this stuff to evil and repressive regimes and then lying about it, they deserve it all and much, much more

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7/7 memories: I was on a helpdesk that day and one of my users died

nsld
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Back then

I had two jobs one in IT and the other in personal training.

I spent that morning in Hyde Park with a client and we commented on all the sirens we could hear at the end of our session. It seemed livelier than usual for London

From the park I drove towards the A501 Euston Road to take the right turn down towards Tavistock Square as I used to cut through that way to get across towards Broadgate for my next clients, traffic was slow and I was in the right turn lane waiting at the lights about 5 cars back when the bus bomb went off. I didnt hear it and the only indication was when all the emergency services poured in that something had happened nearby.

We couldnt turn right as they closed the road so had to do a U turn and by then with the news on the radio saying more about terrorism than power surges I drove back to Hyde Park as I thought it was less of a target than being stuck on the roads next to buses which could go up.

Spent the next few hours in the car park by the Serpentine with several cabbies and limo drivers who had a similar idea before I took the decision to head home out of London.

Was an odd journey home, not much traffic but lots of pedestrians in London walking around.

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Home Office kept schtum on more than 30 data breaches last year

nsld
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FAIL

Seriously?

Nearly three a month and from the descriptions it appears that encryption is not part of the policy and policy/security standards are poor yet the data controller still has a job?

I do wonder if loss of job and the forfeiture of his tax payer funded pension would help to focus the rest of the government on its duty to protect data as it's clear that currently they have no incentive to care about data protection?

I also wonder if the victims of the breaches have been notified?

Whichever way you try to polish it this is an epic turd of fail and people should be fired and pay the fines instead of the taxpayer.

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Google helps Brit crims polish their image – but what about the innocent

nsld
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Re: If you commit a crime....

any business carrying out its activities within the EU has to comply, no one compiling or holding this kind of data is exempt.

Google could of course just operate in the US out of its .com website but the loss of all that lovely revenue they generate in Ireland is billions compared to the cost of delivering this relatively small administrative service.

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Capita: Call centre workers, can you fall on your swords? Please?

nsld
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Deflection through obfuscation

A Crapita spokesman said " by making it really difficult to call us we have forced people to use our crappy knowledge base, twitter and other pointless support channels, consequently we need less meat sacks to answer phones mwaah haa haa" as he stroked his white fluffy cat.

ftfy

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Facebook and Twitter queen Taylor Swift: Facebook and Twitter are RUBBISH

nsld
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It makes a change

From the usual vacuous muppets who are presented an opinion to have by media or PR people.

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THIS TIME we really are ALL DOOMED, famous doomsayer prof says

nsld
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Bing Professor?

Does that mean he looks after the universities microwave oven?

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Cupertino GIVES IN to Taylor Swift, will pay Apple Music royalties

nsld
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Her sideline in the world of Infosec

Is much more interesting than her music

Have a look at @swiftonsecurity on twitter

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Climate change alarmism is a religious belief – it's official

nsld
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So

The Sky Fairies PR man on earth says that the things the sky fairy invented are wrecking the other thing the sky fairy invented.

Sounds to me like its all the fault of the sky fairy.

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Downing Street secretly deletes emails to avoid exposure to FOIeurs

nsld
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I wonder

As the government runs its own network does it not come under its own DRIP legislation on retention as it is effectively an ISP?

I would like to see Treasonous May explain that one!

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Hacked US OPM boss: We'll fix our IT security – just give us $21 million

nsld
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Apparently

It's all Edward Snowden''s fault.

Will be the standard excuse trotted out in 5,4,3.......

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'Snowden risked lives' fearfest story prompts sceptical sneers

nsld
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Apparently

The BBC is set to announce that Snowden is a key cause of global warming as well.....

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Renault Kadjar: La Regie's new full-sized, inexplicably named SUV

nsld
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Needs a more appropriate name

Rather than Kadger how about Todger to reflect the nature of the people taking this kind of thing on the school run?

Lets hope you dont want to tow any of your sports equipment with this SUV either, given the pointless engine choices its going to be next to useless to drag anything around.

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Camgirls, crypto currency and beer: The Register tours the Dark Net

nsld
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Excellent

Really enjoyed that.

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Sacré bleu! Parking machine labels French mayor ‘thieving bastard'

nsld
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Re: ... Sadly twinned with both Reading and Basildon

Town twinning is a cultural thing involving exchange visits and the like, a way of sharing and celebrating the culture, art and people of each town.

It would be fair to say that both Reading and Basildon are cultural deserts or as we prefer to call them "shit holes" and are not exactly renowned for culture, art or much else.

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HMRC ditches Microsoft for Google, sends data offshore

nsld
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Re: Why not

@Jimmypage

Any company can have a UK entity, Google has one but claims all its sales are through Ireland.

I also think you are confusing sourcing of the actual item with the entity itself, using your logic importing would not exist.

Its more about the ethics, the government lambasts Google for its tax practices and then buys stuff from them. Its a bit like the Costa/Nero/Starbucks conundrum with the way they choose to do business and avoid taxes via Luxembourg for Nero and Switzerland for Starbucks so I use Costa.

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nsld
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Why not

Mandate that any business done with our government is by a UK entity paying all taxes in the UK.

Especially as this data should only be hosted in this country.

MIght be worth El Reg doing an FOI request for a copy of the BCR's they have in place for the processing and protection of the data, unless of course the Government is relying purely on the goodwill of the safe harbor agreement?

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Apple: Relax, fanbois! We never meant to read your heart rate during wild wrist action

nsld
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FAIL

Pointless

If you want to use heart rate measurement to assess health on an ongoing basis you need to record it on an ongoing basis.

Taking a sample every 10 minutes if you are not moving is only going to give you a low point and will tell you nothing about the stresses placed on you during the day so if you spend most of the day stomping round the office screaming at minions you will have no idea of the stress impact on heart rate.

I suspect the update is purely a battery saving tactic and the consideration that it will skew downwards any of the resting energy expenditure or give an insight into the impacts of stress has been ignored.

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Creationist: The Flintstones was an accurate portrayal of Dino-human coexistence

nsld
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Ham

Something isn't kosher about this guy. ...

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Carry On Computing: Ten stylish laptop bags for him

nsld
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no timbuk2?

Had mine sInce 1996 and still going strong and as a courier bag you can get loads loads of kit in and still ride a bike with it.

For air travel my targus has been going almost as long.

Neither has that cutting edge trendy look of the ones in the article but when was the last time you heard someone say they get laid thanks to a 200 quid man bag?

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Last flying Avro Vulcan, XH558, prepares for her swan song

nsld
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Thumb Up

had the joy

Of this flying over the house when it was heading over to Duxford last summer.

Rather than just turning casually he cranked it round and gave it some serious throttle and the house shook.

Simply awesome and a real shame it's the last year of flight.

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Theresa May: Right, THIS time we're getting the Snoopers' Charter in

nsld
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Re: If you've nothing to hide, you've nothing to fear.

"I simply don't see what the problem is."

Indeed, that's apparent from your post.

We are not at risk from the sky fairy worshipers in Syria, they are quite happy in the little dust bowl they have playing a live version of Call of Duty to worry about the infidels in the West.

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nsld
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I think she will still struggle to get this through

But its going to be closer than previous attempts.

A lot of back bench tories oppose it, the SNP will probably replace the Lib Dems in opposing it and then its down to Millibands muppets and the assorted stragglers to balance it out.

UKIP, or Doug as he is known will vote for it, but that will be opposed by the tree hugger from Brighton.

The irony is that if it does go through all it will be doing is adding a legal veneer to something that the security services have been doing illegally for years, its not actually going to change that aspect of how they snoop on us, just the perceived lawfullness of it.

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Ryanair stung after $5m Shanghai'd from online fuel account

nsld
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Of course

If Joe or Paddy Public gets an account emptied the Economic crimes unit will allocate just as much in resources to get it back, oh wait, no they won't!

As for Ryanair getting the shaft its almost karmic

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Quid-A-Day kids chow down on foraged weed salad

nsld
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Re: Mmmmm, foraging.

Its a fair point on the ethics of the challenge and what you should or shouldn't do.

I took the view that if I was living on a £1 a day I wouldnt have access to a car so did my shopping within walking distance rather than saving a couple of pence by driving 10 miles to an Aldi or Lidl.

I also live in the UK's answer to deliverance country so could have happily supplemented my diet with roast pheasant roadkill but again I didn't feel it was comparable to what someone genuienly on the poverty line would be able to do.

In terms of the pasta vs rice argument, the issue with value pasta is that aside from the taste it doesnt contain as much Durum Wheat as normal pasta and is a mixture of flours, probably from the factory floor so its nutritional value is low compared to normal pasta. You can't really dilute rice with other ingredients so at least you know what you are getting. For my "fish surprise" the protien comes mainly from the fish, the surprise is if the meal has any fish in it as my ladling skills are questionable.

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Quid-A-Day Nosh Challenge kicks off early for starvation veteran

nsld
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currently clearing the fridge

Had to take the ice out of the freezer so its martini time.

Meals are cooked and in the freezer ready for the week.

I pity my colleagues, the smell of fish surprise is not the best

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Surveillance, broadband, zero hours: Tech policy in a UK hung Parliament

nsld
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Re: Sometimes I have this thought

I agree.

Given the economic ineptitude of fish boy and the midget Scotland would be as bankrupt as Dubai was and we could have stepped in and snapped it up for a song.

Would have been far cheaper than having Cameroon bend over and offer his arse for devo max!

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Trading Standards pokes Amazon over 'libellous' review

nsld
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Re: Trading Standards

Sorry Dan Paul but this is bollocks of the highest order:

"The issue of "Libel" or "Defamation" is ONLY between the actual negative reviewer and the company or person getting the negative review, Amazon just provided a service and a forum for feedback. They have no business censoring or editing the review and are not liable for what its' posters say."

In England and Wales the law allows the damaged party to bring an action against a publisher or republisher of the defamatory or libelous comment. In refusing to act on the request of the complainant Amazon has made itself the publisher and is now in the same legal boat as the original commentator.

As to the merit of the claim, that's a different issue but the laws over here are very different to the US.

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Dot-com intimidation forces Indiana to undo hated anti-gay law

nsld
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Re: "said one moron" - inappropriate

Twat would work

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Belgium to the rescue as UK consumers freeze after BST blunder

nsld
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I suspect

The original code was written by a Californian using PST as the baseline time for all things global.

3 weeks ago people woke upto a warm house which probably started heating an hour earlier and they didnt notice, then come our change and the error comes to the fore.

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700,000 beautiful women do the bidding of one Twitter-scamming man

nsld
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Re: @1980s_coder I've up-voted you, because you're intentions were admirable…

Gadzooks.

Whilst you got a result going from 30 stone to 7.5 that would have been achievable with pretty much any form of diet as to maintain 30 stone you have to eat a shed load of bad stuff and do very little.

Does Atkins work? Yes, high protien, high fat and low simple sugar will lead to weight loss. Bottom line, too much sugar will make you fat, beating a sugar craving has more impact on weight management than any other strategy and that is the basis of most of these types of diets.

Paleo diets are frankly a steaming pile of bollocks unless you are truly hunter gathering and moving and grazing all day, people in paleolithic times didnt eat the wonderous and varied things currently in the paleo diets you can find, they either walked, ran, killed, ate or slept. The fact you can find Paleo microwave bread speaks volumes, when was the last time you saw a cave painting of a microwave oven?

Your theory on coeliac disease falls down if you compare it to something like allergies to pollen, we all have the same systems for respiration but not all of us have issues with pollen, gluten is no different in that respect. Eating loads of bread for example is going to impact your weight thanks to its glycemic index and impact on insulin response rather than its gluten content and any intolerance.

Dietary cholesterol intake doesnt impact blood cholesterol levels, what does is high levels of body fat, which require higher levels of oestrogen to maintain the fat cells which in turn is manufactured from cholesterol, hence why people with high levels of body fat typically have higher levels of cholesterol. Endurance exercise will increase High density lipoprotien cholesterol which is "good" and if you can get the ratio higher then you can have a high total value and not carry a significant health risk .

Bottom line, eat less crap, eat less simple sugars, do some exercise.

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