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* Posts by Marvin O'Gravel Balloon Face

353 posts • joined 10 Jun 2009

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Assange™: Hey world, I'M STILL HERE, ignore that Snowden guy

Marvin O'Gravel Balloon Face
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Re: Please

Any thoughts on his behaviour re: shafting friends who loaned him £200,000 of bail money? Or maybe in his handling of the Manning defense fund?

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Russian PM's Twitter hacked to slap down Putin, post fake resignation

Marvin O'Gravel Balloon Face
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I was going to make a snarky comment, but don't want to end up on the pointy end of an umbrella full of polonium-210.

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New voting rules leave innocent Brits at risk of SPAM TSUNAMI

Marvin O'Gravel Balloon Face
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Yeah but they make enough money by fining motorists who missed the 50p night parking charge.*

* Hint - it's written in gold on a black background, buried about two thirds of the way down the right hand column, somewhere between charge for boats and camels.

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Murder accused DIDN'T ask Siri 'how to hide my roommate'

Marvin O'Gravel Balloon Face
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Re: I'm more impressed

Personally, I always use a good old fashioned torch when burying a body.

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Totes AMAZEBALLS! Side boob, binge-watch and clickbait added to Oxford Dictionary

Marvin O'Gravel Balloon Face
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Re: Each year we get the 'new words' announcement...

There are. "Cyclogiro", "charabanc", "drysalter", "wittol", and (strangely) "aerodrome" have been removed from some dictionaries.

link

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Marvin O'Gravel Balloon Face
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Eh?

Most of these words are just stucktogethers. If we carry on like this, the dictionary will be full of randomcrap.

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The internet just BROKE under its own weight – we explain how

Marvin O'Gravel Balloon Face
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Re: The internet is full

Can't we just remove some of the cat pictures or something?

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Anonymous threatens to name cop who shot dead unarmed Michael Brown

Marvin O'Gravel Balloon Face
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I don't think they've really thought this through...

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London cops cuff 20-year-old man for unblocking blocked websites

Marvin O'Gravel Balloon Face
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Re: Example of a Breach

Hm. My brother lives in France and uses my UK proxy for exactly this purpose. Maybe I can expect a knock on the door too.

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Not a load of Tosh: 5TB 'surveillance drive' from Toshiba hits shelves

Marvin O'Gravel Balloon Face
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Re: Toshiba drives are shit

I picked a low speed drive for my home server to reduce power consumption and noise.

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Cor blimey: Virgin Media pipes 152Mb fibre to 100,000 East Londoners

Marvin O'Gravel Balloon Face
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Another happy VM customer, but it would be really great if the upload speed was even a quarter as fast as the download speed.

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UK.gov wants public sector to rip up data protection law

Marvin O'Gravel Balloon Face
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Re: Not Good

Your "rights" are imagined. If you don't like Google's T&C's don't use their service. They are acting in accordance with the law.

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EE rolls out London bus pay-by-bonk app – only fandoids need apply

Marvin O'Gravel Balloon Face
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Simple payments...

If only there were some universal, simple payment mechanism that was easily accessible to tourists and locals alike....

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PICS: Nokia Lumia 930 – We reveal its ONE unique selling point

Marvin O'Gravel Balloon Face
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Re: PEBCAK

Hehe, that reminds me of a response that a tour operator penned to one of its more belligerent complainers. It went something along the lines of,

"...You should be aware that over the past few years we have made great strides in improving all aspects of our holidays. We have also taken the decision to improve the quality of our customers, and as such we would appreciate it if you did not book with us again next year...."

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Marvin O'Gravel Balloon Face
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Any news on whether WP8.1 offers proper support for email attachments?

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Sit back down, Julian Assange™, you're not going anywhere just yet

Marvin O'Gravel Balloon Face
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Bit of a rubbish siege when they're still letting food and water in. This could go on for years, someone send a few smoke bombs in and pull the fire alarm.

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Microsoft's Lumia 930... a real HANDFUL

Marvin O'Gravel Balloon Face
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Re: Is this the review of a camera or a phone?

I'm still on 8.0. If you can live with (amongst other things) the mandatory synching of your data to the MS cloud, random battery drainage, a mail client which can't handle Postfix "plain" SMTP authentication, the inability to switch off the phone while charging, a Skype client that doesn't allow old style Skype logins, a screen which locks while you're driving, delving through interminable menus to perform the simplest tasks, a search button that's hardwired to Bing and a satnav that has apparently never heard of the M62 it's really not too bad.

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Teensy card skimmers found in gullets of ATMs

Marvin O'Gravel Balloon Face
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Pin hole cameras.

Always a good idea to hide your pin, even if there's nobody in the queue behind you.

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Virgin Media goes titsup AGAIN. The cause? Yet MORE DNS strife

Marvin O'Gravel Balloon Face
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So put the Superhub in modem mode and use a decent wireless router instead (I recommend the Asus "Black Knight" with Tomato firmware). Keep the ISP's kit upstream of your private network.

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BBC: Bumpkins, hobbits need fairer coverage

Marvin O'Gravel Balloon Face
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"You can download the report..."

Grief, I think I'll pass. Sounds like just the kind of expensive hand wringing diversity obsessed rubbish that the Beeb is constantly being parodied for.

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Coulson GUILTY of conspiring to hack phones between 2000 and 2006

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Labour vows: We'll pause one-dole-to-rule-them-all for drastic fix-up if elected in 2015

Marvin O'Gravel Balloon Face
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"...under Ed Miliband’s leadership..."

Unintended irony? I wouldn't trust Ed to fetch a newspaper.

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Firefighters deliver trapped student from GIANT GERMAN LADYPARTS

Marvin O'Gravel Balloon Face
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Re: What puzzles me ...

I guess it's some kind of homage to ancient pagan cultures - there was lots of genital worship along with the blood sacrifices back in the day.

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Who needs a ride-on mower when a ROBOT will cut your grass

Marvin O'Gravel Balloon Face
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"The Indego Robotic Lawnmower comes in at £1,300, inclusive"

Inclusive of what? Road tax?

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EFF wants you to open your Wi-Fi to IMPROVE privacy

Marvin O'Gravel Balloon Face
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Free WiFi

As a user, you have no idea who is slurping your data. As a donor, you have no idea what your freeloaders are up to on your connection. Think I'll sit this one out.

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DON'T PANIC: Facebook returns after 30-minute outage terror

Marvin O'Gravel Balloon Face
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meh

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Hey! Where! are! the! white! women! at!? It's! Yahoo!

Marvin O'Gravel Balloon Face
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Re: Sigh, one subject that drives me ...

Speaking as a one-legged Chinese lesbian of restricted height I'd have to say I agree.

Actually, whenever presented with that part of the form, I always write "prefer not to say".

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Angelina Jolie 2.0 NOT an inspiration for Huawei phones, says exec

Marvin O'Gravel Balloon Face
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I remember a Coke bottle in the style of Pamela Anderson, but I don't know that there ever was a phone that looked like Angelina Jolie.

So really, it seems like a bit of a random statement.

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EU privacy A-Team tells Google: Get a grip and obey OUR laws

Marvin O'Gravel Balloon Face
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I take it you don't bank in Cyprus.

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Marvin O'Gravel Balloon Face
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The EU is nothing but a bunch of unelectable power hungry kleptomaniacs who like to bribe us with our own money. Good for nothing but submitting dodgy accounts, re-running referendums when they don't get the desired result, deposing elected leaders of sovereign states, and hounding honest market traders to an early grave.

The best thing Google could do at this point is to refer them to the reply given in the case of Arkell vs. Pressdram.

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Former Azzurri project manager who stole £1.3m ordered to pay back £146k

Marvin O'Gravel Balloon Face
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Re: Crime doesn't pay...

There's a big hayfield in Buxton, and at the north end of that hayfield there's a rock wall, right out of a Robert Frost poem. And somewhere along the base of that wall is a rock that has no earthly business in a Maine hayfield...

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Marvin O'Gravel Balloon Face
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Re: In France

"Proceeds of crime act" - in the UK too.

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eBay faces MULTIPLE PROBES into mega-breach

Marvin O'Gravel Balloon Face
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Wouldn't it be ironic if the crooksters sold the hooky data on eBay.

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So you reckon Nokia-wielding Microsoft can't beat off Apple?

Marvin O'Gravel Balloon Face
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Re: certificate management

Ah! Just for completeness,Postfix needed "LOGIN" as the auth mechanism. One more problem fixed.

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Marvin O'Gravel Balloon Face
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Re: certificate management

...Got a feeling that's why my Lumia refuses to talk SMTP with my mail server.

The inability to remove a profile picture, or the pointlessness of the Search button pales in comparison...

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Hacktivists hijack BNP Twitter account, crayon over leader Griffin's too

Marvin O'Gravel Balloon Face
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Re: Poor guy.

Some good points, but the "trade" argument seems weak on two fronts. Firstly, who is to say that leaving the EU would affect our trade with the EU? Other countries (Norway, for example) manage quite well. Secondly, and more importantly, this argument would suggest that in the event of a tradeoff between international commerce and representative democracy, it is democracy which must be sacrificed. The only elected body in the EU is the European Parliament, but their job is to provide a fig leaf of democracy, while rubber stamping the plans of the unelected Commission.

If you look back through the history of the EU, democracy, and therefore freedom, is sadly lacking. Case in point is the "second" Lisbon treaty referendum - held as the people did not vote the "right" way the first time. Or you could look at the spectacle of the men from the European Central Bank parachuted into the highest offices of State in Ireland or Italy following their bailouts.

The stated agenda of the EU is an "ever closer union". Great for roaming phone charges, not so good for democracy.

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Ads bandog berates Virgin Media in BSkyB broadband bumf bust-up

Marvin O'Gravel Balloon Face
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Re: ASA

I caught 5 minutes of police interceptors the other week. They found a cannabis farm and a bypassed electric meter at someone's house, the CPS obviously didn't catch the episode as there was "insufficient evidence to prosecute". (Probably too busy with celebrities who'd touched someone's bum in the 70s).

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Marvin O'Gravel Balloon Face
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Handbags at 20 Paces

Another week passes, another ASA story...

Just moved house, took my cable service with me. Gave VM 2 days notice - they switched me off on the right day, connected the new place the next morning. Small hitch was that the cables from the street had been cut, so the engineer ran a cable from next door as a temporary fix, and ordered a re-pull the next week. Left me his card (and his pliers) with a note to say that if I phoned the switchboard I'd be put through to his mobile.

Aside from the text messages confirming appointments (had to stop answering them as the wife was getting suspicious) an all round excellent service.

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Windows Phone 8.1: Like WinPho 8, but BETTER

Marvin O'Gravel Balloon Face
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For me, WP8 was the price I had to pay for getting my hands on the Lumia 1020's excellent camera.

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EE...K: Why can't I uninstall carrier's sticky 'Free Games' app?

Marvin O'Gravel Balloon Face
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Re: Because there is nothing on my Lumia...

hehe, touched a raw nerve there did I?

Get back to me when the file explorer app can actually explore the file system, or the eBay app can actually relist an item, define a new postage type, or let you scroll to the end of your description in edit mode. How about when the tide tables app actually has details of more than just a handful of surfing beaches, or there's a decent web browser, or a free putty type client that actually supports use of the CTRL key, or when the app in question doesn't pop up with a little message saying "We try reely hard to make nice app. Love you longtime, plz rate us in the Windows stor".

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Marvin O'Gravel Balloon Face
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Queue Managment

"The technology appeals to the retail sector on the basis that it helps manage queues..."

Can't have reached my local ASDA, where the approach to managing queues is a loud woman in a green tabard waving a large foam pointing finger on a stick, while shouting at the customers to "move down please" whenever there's a free checkout.

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Marvin O'Gravel Balloon Face
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Re: Because there is nothing on my Lumia...

Mm. It's a shame they're all rubbish though, isn't it?

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Blighty goes retro with 12-sided pound coin

Marvin O'Gravel Balloon Face
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Re: No need for a pound coin...

A sterling idea, sir.

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Netflix needling you? BBC pimps up iPlayer ahead of BBC3 move

Marvin O'Gravel Balloon Face
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Re: Yay for iPlayer!

Mm. Hopefully get_iplayer will still work

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Reports pump fuel into iCar gossip: Apple in 'talks' with Tesla

Marvin O'Gravel Balloon Face
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Will they have apple trained mechanics?

Hi Marvin,

Good day to you and thank you for bringing your iCar in to the iGarage. This is <insert made up name here> from the iCar Support team and I'll be happy to assist you today.

I understand that your car just spontaneously combusted. I realize why you're bringing this to our concern and I know how eager you are to have this issue resolved. Don't worry, I'll do my best to fix this for you.

I am pleased to inform you that your issue has now been resolved, and we have reclassified your fire as a "feature" - you vehicle has a super warm heater! A software update will be applied. Please note you may not be able to drive 2 years while we update its software remotely. It is very important that you wait the full 2 years before attempting to drive your iCar again. Please let me know if you are still unable to drive your iCar after 2 years and I'll do my best to assist you with this issue again.

Please let me know if this resolves your concern. If you have other questions about this issue, please don't hesitate to tell me and I would be more than happy to address them for you.

Thank you very much for being part of the iCar family and I hope you have a great day.

Sincerely [sic]

<made up name>

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Facebook adds 50+ gender options: Stalking your 'Friends' just got more LGBT-friendly

Marvin O'Gravel Balloon Face
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Re: “his”, “her” or “their” the three options.

Surely "their" only works if you're a conjoined twin?

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Marvin O'Gravel Balloon Face
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Headmaster

ReferenceError: invalid assignment left-hand side

I see a problem on the left-hand side of the equals sign. The definition of the entity to which all of these politically correct attributes are being assigned should be "sex" rather than "gender". The former relates to the characteristics of the whole person, the latter pertains to the physical characteristics of objects. (At least this used to be the case, but since we all started giggling and writing "three times a night" when official forms asked us our sex, the two words have started to be used more interchangeably).

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Rand Paul launches class-action lawsuit to end NSA phone spying

Marvin O'Gravel Balloon Face
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Re: Irony, we've heard of it....

If you believe the adage that "a well-armed populace is the best defense against tyranny", then it's a logical and consistent position to adopt.

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Nokia to launch low-cost Android phone this month – report

Marvin O'Gravel Balloon Face
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Re: Straw Poll

I've had mine six days, so I'll hold off from voting, but I will say this:

- Toggling WiFi, Bluetooth or Data, on Android it takes 1 swipe + 1 press. On WP8 it takes about 4 clicks including trawling through a long menu.

- There doesn't seem to be a way to switch your lock screen off while plugged in. So you're driving down the road listening to music and you want to skip a track. It goes something like this - Press power button while phone is in cradle, look up at road, glance down just in time to see preview screen vanish, press power button again, swipe to unlock, find and press "skip" button, crash car into a ditch.

- Create a local contact? Oh no, you have to create a Microsoft account first.

- Choose not to sync all your contacts to the cloud? Sorry, not an option.

- App store is pretty limited. A lot of the apps. are very amateurish.

- Can't browse the filesystem properly.

- A personal opinion, but the OS seems very noddy and not very well featured. At the same time some social media/gaming menu options are built in, so if that's not your thing, you tend to spend time swiping past menus you're never going to use.

There are workarounds for most of these things, and I might yet learn to like it, but a good OS should be flexible enough to enable you to do what you want to do. With WP8 I sometimes feel that relationship is reversed.

As I say, it's early days yet...

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Marvin O'Gravel Balloon Face
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Bring it on...

I always thought that Nokia chose WP8 because they didn't like their customers very much.

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