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* Posts by J 3

818 posts • joined 10 Jun 2009

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iPad AIR 2 and iPad MINI 3, 5K iMac: World feels different today – and it IS

J 3
Gimp

Re: $399 on the 16GB Wi-Fi model

Well, you are one of those people I alluded to, who has a specialist need. Not many like you out there. For the vast majority, who only do web, social media, read some PDFs, simple games, etc., then yeah, they are throwing money away buying iPads.

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J 3
WTF?

$399 on the 16GB Wi-Fi model

Seriously? Unless you really need (it could happen, rarely) an app that is iOS only, that's a silly way of wasting money. Oh, right, the much better tablet that cost almost half this price that I bought a year ago does not have "that" logo on the back, so it is no good.

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PEAK APPLE: iOS 8 SHUNNED by refusenik fanbois

J 3
Alert

Aphrodisiac

I do not think it means what you think it means.

Anyway, my old iPod touch is still on iOS 6. Because it is "not compatible" with anything newer. Not sure if that would affect figures significantly, but anyway.

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Apple's SNEAKY plan: COPY ANDROID. Hello iPhone 6, Watch

J 3
Paris Hilton

"lifting your wrist to your face"

Methinks someone needs an appointment with the eye doctor. I ain't no spring chicken, but I sure can easily read my watch -- running faithfully since 1989, battery lasts a couple of years -- from half a meter away...

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Premier League wants to PURGE ALL FOOTIE GIFs from social media

J 3
Happy

Re: GIF's?

Being too lazy to look it up, I myself imagined this stands for "I am not a lawyer but I post opinions on the Internet", but I now favor the "poking" version someone else provided.

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PEAK APPLE: One MILLION fewer iPads sold this quarter

J 3

Re: I wouldn't say it is Peak Apple

Er... no. Read again:

"the total slab market world-wide bounced 41.5 per cent year-on-year, those emblazoned with a certain fruit fell 9.2 per cent"

So, while growth is slowing down overall, Apple's share is getting smaller. For a while now, so not sure why the surprise. And no wonder. I for example bought a much better tablet for much less money than the equivalent Apple one would cost. So apart from people who are bound to the platform by some specific app that is critical and not available elsewhere, why pay more? Also, as people learn that they use tablets for surfing the Web and little else, as someone said, why again pay more? Status?

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Mozilla gaffe exposed 76,000 email addresses, 4000 passwords

J 3
Coffee/keyboard

76,000 email addresses, 4000 passwords

That's all? Feels like the total amounts I have nowadays to handle all the online crap of today's life...

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Supermodel Lily Cole: 'I got a little bit upset by that Register article'

J 3
Paris Hilton

Yeah, but which fraction?

"Cole says it's a "fraction" of that" (it being her wealth)

OK, but it that fraction something like 5/4 or 19/11 of the published value? Inquiring minds (don't) want to know... (that's an inquiring mind right there in the icon)

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Microsoft walks into a bar. China screams: 'Eww is that Windows 8? GET OUT OF HERE'

J 3
Pirate

Re: Coming up next: Chinese XP.

Source code. That's the thing. Software companies should be forced to release to the public domain any code that they stop supporting, so others can do so if there is demand for such service.

What do you say, the new OS is mostly old code? Well, if that's such a problem then why (rhetorical question) release a new version at all and kill the older one? If the new thing is so much more advanced and different, and not just some cosmetic crap sprinkled with a few worthy performance/security patches, why care about the old code, right?

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MacBook Air 13-inch: If you squint hard enough, you'll see a lesser-spotted Apple Price Cut

J 3
Joke

That is...

...one hell of an expensive netbook! Oops, let's not forget the icon, forgot to wear my asbestos (I be old-skool) undies today.

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Our Reg reader 'mutt's nuts' dictionary is le chien's biens

J 3
Go

Brazilian Portuguese

I can't believe none of my fellow lusophones has added our contribution to such worthy linguistic matter. I can't believe it's even closer to butter either, but that's a different pet peeve. Either way, Camões' language deserves better! And the World Cup is upon us, so you need to know what to say over here, or at least to your telly when your favorite footballer scores nicely.

First of all, the literal translation of "mutt's nuts" wouldn't have the British meaning here in Brazil, at least in the regions I am familiar with (the country is huge and there are very strange idioms and sayings in other regions that are not intelligible in others, so who knows...). But fret not, we do have an equivalent genital-based expression to provide; a very naughty language, (Braz.) Portuguese.

The literal translation could be "as bolas do cão" (the dog's balls, where ão is a sound that is allegedly exclusive from Portuguese, and sounds sort of like what you get if you say "uh" followed by a deep "mmm", quickly and very nasally). If you don't want to wrestle with the damn ão, you can use "cachorro", which is another word for dog, but that would make the saying much less snappy, admittedly. Also, if you want to keep the mutt (as in "of mixed-breed") element in the saying, use "vira-lata" (literally "turn-can", a dog who lives in the streets messing with trash cans to get food).

We have other ways to refer to the gonads, so you could also use "o saco" (the sac, scrotum) or

"os ovos" (the eggs) instead of "as bolas". I never promised it would be easy, or even less that it would be succinct. Not my style.

Now, the genital-based expression I promised earlier is "do caralho" (where "lho" is like the Italian "glio", i.e. something like "ly-oh" said quickly in English). It is somewhat NSFW (although we're not very shy with the swearing down here, and you might be surprised with what you can hear at work), and it literally means "of the cock", but not of the avian kind, obviously. When a Brazilian says something is "do caralho!", or the shortened version, "duca!", pronounced doo-kah, streess on the doo, as in booing, it means... it's the mutt's nuts. The species of the owner of the "caralho" is not specified here, but the meaning is still the same.

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PEAK APPLE: Mystery upstart to hurl iLord from its throne 'by 2020'

J 3
Alert

Re: "one that we have never heard of"?

Assuming the numbers are even correct to begin with. Color me cynic, but they are coming from a site called wmpoweruser (originally, from a "mobile payment company", done who knows how and subjected to who knows what inherent biases). Looks like an ad (hot on the heels of iPhone, really?). Genetic fallacy? Maybe, but I'd rather see something more substantial before drawing any conclusions.

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Top tip, power users – upgrading Ubuntu may knacker your Linux PC

J 3
Linux

Yup, happened to one of my computers. But 5 minutes later it was fixed -- well, because I had the live USB right there, I'm familiar with Grub2, Linux boot, blah blah. If I wasn't, then things would have been definitely more scary.

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Report: Climate change has already hit USA - and time is RUNNING OUT

J 3

From the little I have learned of the physics and dynamics of this, I seem to recall that weathering of the carbon from the atmosphere takes several hundreds of thousands of years. So, unless we invent an efficient way to scrub it off the air, things won't improve a bit EVEN if we do quit being stupid right now and stop using that tiny atmosphere of ours as a rubbish dump.

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J 3
Mushroom

Re: OK, predict next year!

One of the biggest problems with humanity is incarnated right there: people like Herby, who have no fucking clue about what they are talking about, but go on to talk about it anyway. We're doomed.

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J 3

Oh, good. Someone please go show this to all those stupid animals and plants that are changing their distribution or behavior. They will sure be relieved to know they were duped.

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Please work for nothing, Mr Dabbs. What can you lose?

J 3

Re: Absolutely

It seems to be widespread, then. My graphic designer friends all rant about all the "for-exposure" work they get offered to perform. You know: "I don't have the budget right now, but if this business takes off hundreds, maybe thousands of people will see your work. All you need is to design this logo/flier/website/whatever for me". Amazingly enough, some designers must still believe that is a good deal.

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Ubuntu N-ONE: 'Storage war' with Dropbox et al annihilates cloud service

J 3

Re: Shoddy

They were quite late with the email, but it did come. I (non-paying subscriber) got it yesterday (07 Apr).

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Five-year-old discovers Xbox password bug, hacks dad's Live account

J 3
Mushroom

Re: Microsoft security

<blink>CONGRATULATIONS!</blink>

You are commentard number 1,000,000 to make that witty comment!

Go to http://fun.drno.de/flash/ButtonRedBig.swf to win something! Maybe! Just follow the instructions!

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J 3
Coat

Re: INFANT?

...and in Westeros and surrounding localities you are a (wo)man grown by sixteen and can even be an unsupervised Monarch! Hell, they frequently kill their first victim by age 10 there.

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Reg tries out Google's Chromecast: Yep, we even tested smut sites

J 3

harks back to the days of cheap printers with overpriced ink

What do you mean, "harks back"? It is still going strong.

Anyway, reading this review gives me a measure of relief. On our visit to the US over the holidays, my wife was contemplating buying either the Chromecast or the AppleTV to play the media she has on her Mac.

Since the AppleTV was just $80, and she being sort of a fangirl, she bought the Apple thing. I don't like Apple much, but I have to say the thing works over our humble WiFi without any problems (apart from sometimes needing to restart iTunes, for some reason), streaming high-def video like it was connected through a cable, be it from her local collection or from YouTube, Netflix, whatever we have tested. Sure, the two devices have slightly different features (I'm pretty sure you can't cast website tabs on the stock AppleTV), but still. Seeing how difficult it is to play local media from a computer using the Chromecast is quite surprising to me.

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Microsoft may pick iPad for first release of Fondleslab Office™

J 3

Re: I struggle to see how Office could be useful on a tablet

Well, I'm sure glad these people found a good way to stay productive/happy/whatever and all that... but I suspect that's not that big of a market, is it?

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Imprisoned Norwegian mass murderer says PlayStation 2 is 'KILLING HIM'

J 3
Devil

Hell?

He doesn't know torture and hell in such a situation until he's been in a regular Brazilian prison -- overcrowded, commanded by drug lords, killings to lower population, corrupt and violent guards/staff, whatever you imagine. He's actually in prisoner paradise and does not know...

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Women crap at parking: Official

J 3
Facepalm

Re: ..."a whopping 80 per cent of crashes ... involved male drivers"

Yup, caught my attention too: "a whopping 80 per cent of crashes that killed or seriously injured pedestrians involved male drivers"

You'd expect The Reg, being such a tech oriented place, to be better at this statistics business, instead of just parroting any old number without thinking about it first, providing context, etc. Oh, well, who am I kidding? Media is media.

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Dropbox joins Linux patent protection hit squad

J 3

Patents

This is a bit off topic, maybe, but the patent is supposed to be a mechanism to reward inventors, or so I understand it.

Then, I think patents should be allowed to be sold at most once: when the inventor wants to sell it to someone who will then use the process patented -- if they do not use the process, they should not be able to charge for royalties on it either. That way, inventors would make more money. And patent trolls would pretty much cease to exist. And let's face it, patent trolling is all that this article is about, deep down.

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'Daddy, can I use the BLACK iPAD?': Life with the Surface Pro 2

J 3

Productivity?

Who cares!? Microsoft always makes me cringe with this (sometimes misplaced) obsession on "productivity". People want to buy the cool thing, not the productive thing -- even if the typical Reg reader is not like that, most people still are, deal with it.

Sure, a tiny few will want to run Office or some specialized Windows-only software on a tablet, and will buy the specific machine to do that. But most everyone else buys these things as glorified toys, even if they later end up finding some interesting apps that are actually useful for something productive. Typical people want to play with a tablet, not work with (or on) it. Closest they will want to get to "work" here is usually email or conference calls. Otherwise, it's mostly web, social stuff, videos, reading, games. Playing. Stupid Microsoft does not get it, and will stay niche on this until they get tired of burning money and pull the plug. Except for the XBox (apparently, I don't know, not a gamer), MS is not good at fun.

Now, it's obvious that the iPad has by now got some cool apps and accessory ecosystem that make it be very useful in many areas (e.g. music). People buy it, but not due to that potential usefulness though. Same for other tablets -- small, works for web surfing, (sometimes) cheap.

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J 3

"an attempt to give you a desktop experience on a tablet and that's what you are paying for"

...and not getting, if the reviews are to be believed.

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Nothing to sniff at: Dell Ultrabooks REEK OF CAT PEE, scream users

J 3
Joke

E6430u

E6430u, eh? So we now know what the "u" in the name stands for...

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San Fran tech hub wants hookers and hackers for Halloween

J 3
Joke

There is no hacker on the flyer.

What do you mean, she is NOT a hacker!?

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How I BLEW my co-workers' HEADS OFF ... without going to jail

J 3

Yup, and I used to have a CRT at home that needed a strong slap on the right side every once in a while to get the image to show correctly.

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Kids hooked up with free Office subs at Microsoft-addicted schools

J 3
Alert

Vendor agnostic?

I am actually much more worried about file formats that the specific application used. That to me is the more serious issue.

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J 3
Paris Hilton

"must have licensed Office for all of its employees"

Janitors? Cafeteria people? Security?

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J 3

Re: If you get them young and you will have them for life

"The reality is that if they land a desk job they will be using Microsoft Office."

The reality also is that when these kids are hitting the market in 5 to 10 years the software will be so different that whatever they were monkey-trained to do now will be irrelevant and they will need to learn the new ways anyway.

I mean, I had last seen MS Office in 2006 or so. When I saw the "new" interface recently, I had no keep digging to find the functions I had used in Office 2003 or so. LibreOffice is much more similar in operation to the MS Office I used to use 10 years ago than current Office is, it looks like to me.

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'Who knew in 1984 that Steve Jobs would be Big Brother?'

J 3

Re: What the scanner does do well

And it didn't take long, apparently:

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2013/09/22/iphone_5_touchid_broken_by_chaos_computer_club/

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J 3
Gimp

Re: What the scanner does do well

...and when someone easily copies one's fingerprints, hilarity ensues.

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Is it a bird? Is it a plane? Is it ... Win Phone 8? No, it's APPLE'S iOS 7

J 3

Yeah, but...

Have they finally learned to properly (pseudo)randomize the list of songs in the "shuffle" feature of the music player? My iOS 6 running iPod Touch sure sucks in that respect. Always getting in what I call "song ruts", frequently starting from the same song, etc.. I wonder if they'll ever be bothered to get that working.

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Huawei CTO insists: 'We are not a threat to UK and US national security'

J 3

Funnily enough...

I read the subtitle as "We're just a box and packet sniffer like everyone else". Oh, well, I guess I still haven't woken up enough.

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Apple ships new iPods in 'SPAAAAACE ... Gray'

J 3

Space Grey

Whatever the reason for the name, still much better colour than those of the new iPhone 5C, natch.

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For PITY'S SAKE, DON'T BUY an iPHONE 5S, begs FSF

J 3
Big Brother

Good point

As a friend commented this morning: iPhone fingerprint scanner = free NSA fingerprint / location / name database.

Cliché icon, I know.

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Beware the ad-punting crapware-laden Firefox, warn infosec bods

J 3
Holmes

Re: Firefox WTF?

"Is it any wonder punters haven't a clue what version they should be using?"

The latest?

Would a version number like 6.1.298a be any better to give a people clue? We like it or not, them things will be updated continuously if we are to be kept (relatively) safe(ish).

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Study finds online commentards easily duped, manipulated

J 3
Happy

Re: Get a proper job!

There is ALWAYS a post like this one above, how predictable...

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'Hand of Thief' banking Trojan reaches for Linux – for only $2K

J 3
Happy

Yes, but...

Yes, but the "more savvy than the average Linux installing person" will create a restricted account for mom to use, so she cannot install anything -- even if she knew what "install" means, which I'm pretty sure my mom doesn't.

I'm sure it's not 100% tight, but better than leaving administrator access open. Now, the question is: how many friendly Linux installing people are doing this, specially at the risk of being even more in support duty over the phone later? :-)

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Highway from HELL: Volcano tears through 35km of crust in WEEKS

J 3

Eyjafjallajökull, which caused so much flight disruption

That and the eye/tongue disruption for all non-Icelandic speaking people trying to read or say that name...

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Sexbomb pop minstrel Taylor Swift PORN FIB used to lure fanbois

J 3
Joke

Re: Should I know

I don't know about existence, but your happiness will be much obliged if go on not hearing her music. Pictures are fine though.

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I told you I'd be back: Arnie set for another career revival

J 3
Mushroom

Don't worry, voters...

(notice the correction there, the little comma you missed... And by the laws of universal irony I'll probably commit an even worse mistake in this post)

I suspect that subtitle was meant as a joke, but... I sure think that the US would be in better shape if even only half of the elected Republicans were like Schwarzenegger, really, instead of trying to be like the extremist fanatics who took control of their party in the past 20-30 years. He is definitely far from great, but that just underscores the gravity of the situation.

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If you've bought DRM'd film files from Acetrax, here's the bad news

J 3
Holmes

Re: Inheritance

Why would they? Well, obviously they wouldn't do it out of the goodness of their little black hearts. But that's what laws are for. If there was one that said that DRM that can't be validated (due to the provider disappearing, for example) becomes null and void, immediately freeing the file in question, you can be sure they would be implementing the "inheritance scheme" very quickly indeed.

The tech aspects of this (namely, how to determine if the DRM is now dead) are of course open for debate. A non-profit or gov server to check whether the DRM in question is dead (as a fall back when the provider's server disappears) would be a possibility, I think.

Real solution would be the end of this silliness called DRM, but I guess it is a tough one to get.

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Microsoft splashes big bucks to blast Google Apps

J 3
Facepalm

Oh my...

Why is it that Microsoft adds suck so much!? I mean, there is no lack of funds to hire the best marketing bods available to mankind, surely. It must be congenital bad taste, I don't know...

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It's official! Register hack is an alcohol-flushed cave dweller

J 3

Re: Oops About Neanderthal DNA! Change this quick Lester

Not necessarily. The original Africans did not go to meet the Neanderthals (nor vice versa), but do you think no one else has come back to Africa bringing those genes? Do you think all Africans have been sealed off genetically from the rest of humanity since some of them went to Europe? They sure haven't, and it's not due to modern transportation...

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Chinese firm deluged with applications for e-smut appraising job

J 3
Paris Hilton

Before you start polishing your...

Sorry, got distracted there for a moment.

Anyway, I strongly suspect looking at that would get rather boring after the first few hours.

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Malwarebytes declares Windows 'malicious', nukes 1,000s of PCs

J 3
Mushroom

Malwarebytes declares Windows 'malicious', nukes 1,000s of PCs

They took the jokes way too seriously, methinks...

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