* Posts by Peter Simpson 1

984 posts • joined 10 Jun 2009

When the lights went out: My 'leccy-induced, bog floor crawling HORROR

Peter Simpson 1
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Excellent

Speechless.

// because I'm trying very hard to get the final image out of my mind

// old guy here, my coworkers are younger than my kids...

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Women crap at parking: Official

Peter Simpson 1
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Re: Parking

Yesterday, in traffic, I sat watching a woman attempt to park her car on the side of the road, one-handed, while having a conversation on her mobile, held to her ear with the other hand. Traffic was stopped, so I had a good opportunity to watch as she went back and forth, back and forth, never really making much progress.

It was only when she finished her conversation and directed all her attention to the task at hand, that she successfully got her vehicle parked. I felt bad for the cars in the lane she was blocking during the course of her attempt, but they also had a red light, so not much harm done, I suppose.

Sadly, the one-handed driver is a serious problem here. They don't even see you if to do so would involve turning their head. Don't even get me started on the ones checking their Facebook status in their laps. They think they're being subtle, but it's pretty obvious.

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Calling Doctor Caroline Langensiepen of Nottingham Trent uni

Peter Simpson 1
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Big Brother

"Now if he'd mentioned the CCTV stills he has of you, the proxy logs of goat porn, or even just the location of a quiet and deep pit with adequate lime supplies, that would definitely have shown promise..."

That would have made it BOFH material...

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Peter Simpson 1
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Re: Bravo

I think perhaps only if he had succeeded in his attempt.

B+ for effort, though.

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'Best known female architect' angrily defends gigantic vagina

Peter Simpson 1
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Trollface

Re: This *obviously* doesn't look like a vagina.

What do you expect, they're all guys...

[ ducks while running away]

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SILENCE of the OWLS may mean real-life 'Whisper Mode' for Black Helicopters

Peter Simpson 1
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Black Helicopters

"Plunging down silently out of the sky is the easy bit. It's been done many times before."

Well, you don't have to be silent, exactly...you just need to get there before the sound does...

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Facebook's Zuckerberg: US gov 'blew it' on mass surveillance

Peter Simpson 1
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Childcatcher

In every photo of him, he's always wearing the same self-satisfied smirk.

...and a damn hoodie.

//yeah, sour grapes

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BOFH: Resistance is futile - we're missing BEER O'CLOCK

Peter Simpson 1
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Re: Irony

...and sometimes they rain...bits

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ROCK FROM MARS FOUND in Africa, reveals Red Planet's SECRETS

Peter Simpson 1
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Childcatcher

Re: NWA

Dam Martian kids...first, they short out the rover's electrics, now they're chucking rocks at us?

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Microsoft touts SCROOGLE merch: Hopes YOU'LL PAY to dump on rival

Peter Simpson 1
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Pint

Re: Another mug...

Developers!Developers!Developers!Developers!Developers!Developers!Developers!Developers!Develop

ers!Developers!Developers!Developers!Developers!Developers!Developers!Developers!Developers!Dev

elopers!Developers!Developers!Developers!Developers!Developers!Developers!Developers!Developers!

Developers!Developers!Developers!Developers!Developers!Developers!Developers!Developers!Develop

ers!Developers!Developers!Developers!Developers!Developers!Developers!Developers!Developers!Dev

(you will need to print it out on clear sticky film and wrap it around the glass)

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Peter Simpson 1
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Unhappy

Re: Google pwned

Sold out, sadly...

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BAFFLING power cockup halts NASA's nuclear Mars tank Curiosity

Peter Simpson 1
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Devil

Martian kids...

"Dare you to go over and stick this paperclip across its terminals while it's looking at that rock!"

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Meet Stuxnet's stealthier older sister: Super-bug turned Iran's nuke plants into pressure cookers

Peter Simpson 1
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Aside from the political and moral issues involved

You really have to admire the quality of the technical work that went into making something this intricately designed.

It's kinda like Bernie Madoff -- on one hand, he stole money from little old ladies, but on the other, he's the current holder of the world record for keeping a Ponzi scheme going. And he even managed to get it to pay for his retirement (though, granted, spending winters in the Med is probably off the table).

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No woman, no drive: Saddo hackers lob Android nasty at Saudi women's rights campaign

Peter Simpson 1
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Facepalm

Re: A Call to action

"I think it is a given that dick heads like the one singing in this video..."

Satire? We've heard of it...

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NORKS breaks ground on new high-tech industrial park

Peter Simpson 1
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Re: A communist hotel

This one?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ryugyong_Hotel

Rumored to be unusable due to poor construction quality (bad concrete, crooked elevator shafts, etc)

The deal was rumored to be that the Orascom (Egyptian) telephone company would get the contract to run Pyongyang's cellular phone system if it put an outer skin on the skeleton. As far as I can tell, we now have lipstick on the pig, but the only profitable use to which this monstrosity is being put, is as a (very tall) cellular base station for the NORK glitterati.

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'Planned maintenance' CRIPPLES nearly HALF of all Salesforce instances in Europe, US

Peter Simpson 1
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Black Helicopters

On BOFH Day?

Coincidence?

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BOFH: One flew over the PFY's nest

Peter Simpson 1
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Re: off topic

"I don't think he'll be clicking on any links we send him today..."

Not after the first one, at any rate...

// the one with the bottle of eye bleach in the pocket, thanks

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Whovians, your Doctor needs you: Take back the Day from One Direction

Peter Simpson 1
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WTF?

This seems like a minor "issue" with which I needn't concern myself...

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LOHAN sees bright red over Vulture 2 paintjob

Peter Simpson 1
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Childcatcher

"An ounce of appearance is worth a pound of performance."

...as true in this context as it is in the workplace at review time.

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Bloke named 'human' demands 'COPSLIE' licence plate

Peter Simpson 1
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Childcatcher

Well, hello, Dick!

It's "Richard", thank you very much.

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Sail HO! Look out Bay Area - it's the GOOGLE GALLEON

Peter Simpson 1
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East coast of the US

Hurricane season is about to start...hope they can reef those sails quickly., or they'll be in deep...water.

//arrrr...sextant in me pea coat...

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You've been arrested for computer crime: Here's what happens next

Peter Simpson 1
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Re: If proof were needed that police are theives [lying and bribery proof currently in the courts]

"...the seized items are returned..."

...eventually. Maybe. If the owners ask nicely. If the cops can "find" the evidence, which seems to go missing at a rate proportional to it's potential for use in cops' homes.

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Galaxy is CRAMMED with EARTH-LIKE WORLDS – also ALIENS (probably)

Peter Simpson 1
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Re: Cool..but also oddly disturbing

The wife was just mentioning that [some terribly smart astro-boffin] warns us against looking for aliens, because:

- they'll find us, because they have mastered interstellar travel

- they'll have mastered interstellar travel because they are looking for resources (or slaves)

- they will be taking these resources if they find them

- they won't be saying "please"

- if we get in the way, (or maybe ieven if we don't), we'll be eliminated (or enslaved)

Perhaps we should just shut up and keep a low profile?

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Unsung DEAD WHALE EXPLODER hero, who gave the early internet a purpose, passes away

Peter Simpson 1
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I'm sure

"it seemed like a good idea at the time..."

And somebody has to be the first to try it.

//RIP Mr. Thornton, and thanks for being a good sport about it.

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LOHAN's mighty thruster poised for hot coupling

Peter Simpson 1
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Thermistor attachment

A couple of thoughts on the photo of the attached thermistor...

- The ring-terminal appears to be floating in free space -- it should be thermally attached to whatever you wish to measure the temperature of (the thermistor itself is inside the crimp area of the terminal)

- You're on the outside of the heater -- will this not give you an artificially high temperature (as opposed to being thermally bonded to the aluminium tube)?

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That time when an NSA bloke's son borked the ENTIRE INTERNET...

Peter Simpson 1
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Heh - kids make mistakes...

...but only rarely do they have such widespread impact. However, he paid his debt to society and went on to make himself quite a bit of money and get hired as a prof at MIT. Kid's done OK, I'd say.

He probably leaves the worm off his resume, though

// the one with the floppy disk in the pocket

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Have you reinstalled Windows yet? No, I just want to PRINT THIS DAMN PAGE

Peter Simpson 1
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Happy

Re: ahh, chairs

MY nice office char (north of $500 new, I believe) came from a former company. They were moving, offered the chairs to the employees for some nominal amount. As I wasn't going to be in town, the day of the sale, I handed the sum to a co-worker and loaded a chair in my vehicle the night before.

Came in on Monday and was told by the co-worker, that the sale had been cancelled at the last minute, the chairs (minus one) were going to be left with the building. I told him to keep the cash. Chair still in use, and doing very nicely, thank you.

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Peter Simpson 1
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Re: What is it this week?

"... but Windows doesn't do what you describe by itself."

Oh, yes it does, and more!

Moving a device from one USB connector to another, borks everything up royally. Apparently, each USB connector maps to a different port on the internal USB hub, and Windows gets all confused. At least, XP and Win7 do, from my own personal experience.

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MEDIC! Google, Oracle, Red Hat docs race to save crippled Healthcare.gov

Peter Simpson 1
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Re: Read this, it explains everything

The Mythical Man-Month

Somebody didn't read it.

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Nothing to sniff at: Dell Ultrabooks REEK OF CAT PEE, scream users

Peter Simpson 1
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"I got one for our CEO ... it has a slight whiff...... "

Strange that every other unit in the shipment didn't smell at all, innit?

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Infosys set for $35m fine over US visa naughtiness

Peter Simpson 1
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If you want to outsource to Infosys

You should consider carefully the attitude of the management of a corporation that would pull something like this. Then, ask yourself if you want to bet your company on code written in an organization that thinks that finding "creative" ways around visa restrictions is a good idea.

// Wouldn't touch them with a barge pole myself. Plenty of older contractors out there who know what they're doing, laid off because some bean counter though outsourcing would save money.

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DON'T BREW THAT CUPPA! Your kettle could be a SPAMBOT

Peter Simpson 1
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Re: Nonsense

...because the Russian press, like Pravda and Izvestia before them, are known for their high quality, objective reporting.

// as the Chinese are known for the safety and reliability of their low cost electrical gear

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How I BLEW my co-workers' HEADS OFF ... without going to jail

Peter Simpson 1
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Alien

Re: from the distant past

One word:

xnettrek

// brought the (thick ethernet) network to a crawl

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Peter Simpson 1
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Office rowing team

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O9eqnc6EM_o

Points for coordination...

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Vulture 2 paintjob: Four-year-old nipper triumphs

Peter Simpson 1
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Araiadne FTW

I think it would be a nice gesture if you could send Ariadne a signed photo of the actual craft, painted in her design, along with a team photo.

It may not mean as much to her now as it will in a few years...

Well done, SPB, for encouraging the next generation!

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Why Bletchley Park could never happen today

Peter Simpson 1
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Re: It just goes to show....

"You don't need to spy on your own population. For any reason."

I'd modify that to say "You may not spy on your own population".

Because the security services certainly feel justified in what they're doing...it's just that the masses aren't privy to the tippy-top-secret reasons that support the "justification".

Oh, it *is* against the law to spy on US persons, except in these special circumstances where the security services say that the law doesn't apply, and their "yes man" secret court agrees.

Security organizations always seem to have an elevated sense of their mission, which makes them the only possible arbiters of what's legal and what's not...and very little is "not", from their point of view. It's them against a world of evil-doers..a thin blue line, as it were.

Nixon had the same view. And look what happened to him.

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Vulture 2 paintjob: Kim Jong-un battles flag-waving Brits

Peter Simpson 1
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Ariadne!

Even the US wants Ariadne's design!

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HP CEO Whitman: We've built the PC that GOD wants

Peter Simpson 1
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Re: Oh?

Ooh! Does it have a SMITE key?

// Far Side icon appears to be missing

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Forget Wi-Fi, boffins get 150Mbps Li-Fi connection from a lightbulb

Peter Simpson 1
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Re: Uplink?

Twenty years or so ago, I worked with some folks who had tried something similar in the office environment.. They were plagued with coverage and multipath problems, as well as the low signal-to-noise ration and the large size of the required detectors. Uplink wasn't an issue, as the transmitters weren't in the lights, but tacked on top of cubicle walls, using the ceiling times as passive reflectors.

It never worked to spec. I don't think networking-by-light has ever worked in free space, at least I have never seen a successful multipoint network with anything but carefully aligned lasers on rooftops.

// light meter in one pocket and telescope in t'other

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Alarming tales: What goes on INSIDE Reg hack's hi-tech bedroom

Peter Simpson 1
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Bright

Why do the makers of bedside clocks make them bright enough to light the room...even on the dimmest setting?

A cellphone alarm would never work with me, I'd knock it off the table while attempting to silence it, then step on it as I got out of bed.

My alarm's in the bathroom...to force me to get out of bed to silence it.

// The wife gets up when I get out of the shower...

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US parents proclaim 811 'Messiahs'

Peter Simpson 1
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Re: Not to be racist

Not in the US -- it's a MONTH before 9/11 :-)

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CEO of Brit fashion bods Burberry lands Apple job for retail, online sales

Peter Simpson 1
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Re: A day to celebrate

Now, the only question will be: gold? or chav-tartan?

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Computer Chess: Geek, gaming and retro-tech movie of the year

Peter Simpson 1
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Teletype

The bottom picture on page 1 ("even Teletype machines get a look in") does not show a Teletype. However, the bottom picture on page 3 does show a Lear Siegler ADM-3 "glass teletype".

When you're writing for geeks, it's important to get these details right :-)

// roll of yellow paper in the pocket

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Moscow cops cuff suspect in Blackhole crimeware bust

Peter Simpson 1
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Payoffs?

Sounds like someone didn't make the right payoffs in time.

// envelope in the pocket

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Poor miserable Ballmer's pay SLASHED to a measly $1.26m

Peter Simpson 1
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Childcatcher

Re: Ballmer’s bonus was just 79 per cent of his eligible total

I suspect bonus calculations are done with an Excel VB script.

// author of which is long gone, so no-one understands the inner workings

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Oh, shoppin’ HELL: I’m in the supermarket of the DAMNED

Peter Simpson 1
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Facepalm

Most fun I ever had

When I bought a $6 item and was issued $40 in change!

They had apparently mixed up the $1 and $10 cartridges in the base of the machine.

// yes, I told them, but I think they were more worried about how many previous customers hadn't...

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The Vulture 2: What paintjob should we put on our soaraway spaceplane?

Peter Simpson 1
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Re: Register Red of course!

Silver fuselage and orange wings/tail.

You'll want the wings to stand out as you try to maneouver it...silver will be harder to see than orange.

Safe flight, good luck!

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The life of Pi: Intel to give away Arduino-friendly 'Galileo' tiny-puter

Peter Simpson 1
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Re: 5v 3A

A bit piggish with the power, innit?

No heatsink shown, though.

Wonder if I'll be able to pick the chips up at Digikey?

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Missing Brit SPACE HEDGEHOG RISES from the GRAVE

Peter Simpson 1
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Chin up!

(underlines the importance of weatherproof labels with name and phone number, I'd say)

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