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* Posts by Peter Simpson 1

847 posts • joined 10 Jun 2009

Can you tell a man's intelligence simply by looking at him? Yes

Peter Simpson 1
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Mushroom

Re: Yeah, well, I mean, innit.

...Russia is full of beautiful women who grow old and turn into shot-putters.

I believe that's referred to as the "babushka bomb" effect.

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Peter Simpson 1
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Happy

...attractive and dumb as bricks...

Cause, or effect? If they know they can get anything they want with a jiggle and a smile, why bother to learn anything? Starts early, too.

My beloved is average looking and quite intelligent.

// Oh, hello, dear! Didn't see you there.

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NSA plans to FREE YOUR DATA with range of cloud services, analytics

Peter Simpson 1
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Black Helicopters

So that guy on the phone last night...

...warning me about my Windows system being infected?

He was from NSA?

// that must be where Santa gets the Naughty and Nice lists from...even HE outsources!

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Peter Simpson 1
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Happy

Re: I took one look at today's date...

...but then...it's actually quite a good idea, isn't it?

And if we only charge 1/10 of what Carbonite charges, we could balance the Federal budget in five years.

Gee, Thanks, Obama!

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Artists install Monty Python silly walk signs in Norwegian town

Peter Simpson 1
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Mushroom

Blasphemy!

Kill them!

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Tokyo to TXT warning of incoming Norks nukes

Peter Simpson 1
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Mushroom

Surely the Lunar New Year would be a better choice for that demographic?

// DUCK-N-COVER!!!

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Homeopathic remedies contaminated with REAL medicine get recalled

Peter Simpson 1
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Coat

Re: Bah!

I've found that being close enough to control very small pieces of vibrating quartz (at a frequency in the 40m band) has a relaxing effect...but only if the oscillations are controlled at a rate above 15 wpm.

// the one with the key in the pocket

// de KA1AXY

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First pics: Comet-chaser Rosetta hurtles towards icy prey, camera in hand

Peter Simpson 1
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Joke

Re: Science is amazing

You have to pull.

How else do you set the hook?

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Brit game devs WILL get tax relief for, er, EastEnders Game and Legend of Slough

Peter Simpson 1
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Happy

Chav designer?

...see how many different objects you can decorate with the Burberry plaid design

// there seems to be no Burberry icon?

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Peter Simpson 1
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Alien

Re: grand theft auto -Lambeth?

Be sure to pick your target vehicle carefully. The game will only allow you to actually start hotwired cars with ignition systems manufactured by someone other than Lucas...

// Prince of Darkness icon?

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Banks lob sueball at Trustwave, Target over breach

Peter Simpson 1
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Holmes

Re: The underlying problem is,,,

Because IT is at the heart of these businesses, you would think they'd have at least one main board director with fundamental IT systems knowledge and expertise.

But then, they'd need someone senior to that IT director to check to see if the candidates were just spouting a line of BS, or if they really knew what they were talking about.

It's a never-ending cycle of people knowing just enough to sound like they know what they're doing, when in fact, all they need to know is a few choice nuggets that their boss doesn't understand.

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Peter Simpson 1
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Unhappy

Costs have already reached $172M

...in re-issuing cards alone, with perhaps $US1 billion in the longer-term costs of fraudulent transactions resulting from the breach.

My bank's fees will shortly be increasing, then.

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Apple vows to add racially diverse EMOJIS after MILEY CYRUS TWITTER outrage

Peter Simpson 1
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Facepalm

Re: Oh no, Unicode Consortium taken over by cats

...and to think: it's someone's job to manage that ^^^ list.

// wonder how much they're paid?

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Peter Simpson 1
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Facepalm

Re: Wait a minute there......

Try to keep up here.

I had to look up "emoji" myself. Apparently, they're of Japanese origin (think smileys crossed with Hello Kitty). These are emoticons 3.0 -- and cover pretty much anything cute you might ever think of communicating. Especially things an 8 to 12 year old might think of.

Actually, *exclusively* things an 8 to 12 year old might think of.

Smiling Turd isn't my favorite, but it's right up there with Helpful Information Woman.

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ISPs' pirate-choking blocking measures ARE effective – music body

Peter Simpson 1
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Pirate

How about VPN use, is that down?

I've heard that some significant portion of worldwide VPN traffic is bittorrent.

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Bruce Schneier sneers at IBM's NSA denials

Peter Simpson 1
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Paris Hilton

Re: Follow the money...

A lot to LOSE????

I believe they actually SELL computers to the NSA. As well as worldwide, to other customers, a backdoor into whose systems, the NSA would love to have. Yeah, IBM has nothing to do with the NSA. And Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny are as real as I am...

// ..and she's as pure as the driven snow!

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China demands answers from US after 'I spy on one little Huawei' report

Peter Simpson 1
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Happy

Re: A brilliant solution

It's like something our of Mad Magazine's Spy vs. Spy....

// can't find the Spy vs Spy icon...

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IBM PCjr STRIPPED BARE: We tear down the machine Big Blue would rather you forgot

Peter Simpson 1
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Holmes

inch greater than a decent and proper English cricket ball.

Well, you see, we use a smaller bat, so the diameter of the ball is increased slightly...

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Peter Simpson 1
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Happy

Re: The 6845 is a zero-colour chip

American Football, which is rugby for girls

Very muscular and well-paid girls.

// actually, it's a two-hour long advertisement for Bud Light

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They want me to install CCTV to see what YOU did in the TOILET

Peter Simpson 1
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Pint

Better use for CCTV at work

Monitoring the coffee pot, to see who drained it and left it, instead of making a new one.

// sadly, pretty much everybody...

// TGIF

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The Reg's guide to cursing in Mongolian

Peter Simpson 1
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Re: “female hygiene accessory”

359 [goshdarnit], why don't you quit being a 262 [male genitalia] about it and go 284 [sexual act] yourself?

(saving the list and code numbers for future reference)

(boobs, funbags and gazungas notably absent?)

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Vote now for the top reader Limerick limerick

Peter Simpson 1
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Joke

A limerick by definition

must contain a naughty word or phrase...they all fail

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GIANT FLESH-EATING DEVIL CHICKENS roamed North Dakota

Peter Simpson 1
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Happy

Re: Anzu wyliei

The coyote would take one look at this and do a roadrunner impression heading away from it!

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MPs urge UK.gov to use 1950s obscenity law to stifle online stiffies

Peter Simpson 1
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Childcatcher

Re: So...

"If you have a kid, it's YOUR responsibility to pay for it and care for it and raise it properly."

But at some stage you would like some one to pay your pension?

My children used to advise me to treat them with respect, as "they were the ones who get to chose the 'home' "

// what has happened to all the workhouses?

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Malaysia Airlines mystery: Click here for the TRUTH

Peter Simpson 1
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Re: So what is going on?

I would think that runways capable of being used for take off of a fully bombed and fueled B-29 would be just as suitable for a B777 and I think there was a number of such runways built in that region during the WWII.

While I agree with you that these are the places to look first, I suspect some significant amount of vegetation removal (not to mention repaving) would be necessary before the runways are again suitable for use.

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Alibaba float could make Facebook's look like small change

Peter Simpson 1
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Re: Alibaba actaully sells stuff?

I tried looking for a custom power transformer on Alibaba for a project we were doing at work.

After posting the needed specs, I was deluged by replies from companies offerring totally inappropriate products. Many of the replies were just contact information, although I had posted fairly complete specs of what I needed. The rest of the replies were, to put it politely, junk. The ones I could even understand.

Yeah, it's pretty much Chinese eBay, with a touch of Craigslist. Everyone and his brother has a bot to respond to any query with a list of the stuff they're flogging. And you keep getting replies for months after you place your query.

Others claim to have succeeded, but for me, the effort to reward ratio is far too high. Alibaba's on my junk mail filter now.

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My work-from-home setup's better than the office. It's GLORIOUS

Peter Simpson 1
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Joke

Re: It's because your employer is teh suck

Oh, yeah, fine. YOU'VE got a corporate Linux distribution. Well, la-di-dah, aren't you special?

// insanely jealous :-)

// good IT here -- they haven't tried to foist Win8 on us!

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Peter Simpson 1
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WTF?

Re: Consumer vs Business

Businesses don't (shouldn't) use consumer-grade equipment

Hell, *consumers* shouldn't use consumer-grade equipment!

Plenty of off-lease refurbs to be had and they're a heck of a lot more reliable than the cr@p Best Buy sells.

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Peter Simpson 1
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Happy

Re: Company Car vs Company PC

...the rest of the IT dept never seem to know how to treat the devs...

Teach them. Positive reinforcement (e.g.: remembering them at Christmas...apparently, I'm the only one who does) seems to work wonders.

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Peter Simpson 1
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Mushroom

Re: HP Laptops and Heat

Dell's not immune.

I have here on my desk, an Optiplex 745 in "Ultra Small Form Factor"

So "ultra-small" in fact, that our IT department wants nothing to do with them, as their anemic fans and poor internal airflow fail spectacularly at removing heat from the case, causing the box to be a never-ending instigator of service calls. It was "given" to me to use as a Linux box. I replaced the HDD and discovered that it ran TEN DEGREES C cooler if I popped the case top and ran it that way. It's been doing fine ever since.

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Five unbelievable headlines that claim Tim Berners-Lee 'INVENTED the INTERNET'

Peter Simpson 1
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Paris Hilton

Re: Idiots

It's a series of tubes.

There's an adapter mid-Atlantic (and Pacific) to change from imperial to metric size tubes.

// Paris, because that's where the metric tubes were defined

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NZ bloke's drunken poker bet ends in 99-letter name

Peter Simpson 1
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Thumb Up

Lake Chargoggagoggmanchauggagoggchaubunagungamaugg.

Right down the road from me, actually (well, a bit of a drive, but still...what are the odds?)

Max Power

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Distro diaspora: Four flavours of Ubuntu unpacked

Peter Simpson 1
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Happy

Re: Minty

Mint Mate here...has been for the previous two releases, and quite satisfied with it.

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Heroic Playmonaut wowed by LOHAN's bulging package

Peter Simpson 1
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Holmes

Re: Rubber band problem?

Silicone bands?

// one of the many *other* uses for that versatile substance....

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Peter Simpson 1
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Pint

As an American...

...I'm glad to see you remembered the cupholder!

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Inside Facebook's engineering labs: Hardware heaven, HP hell – PICTURES

Peter Simpson 1
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Re: Send reg reporters on an engineering refresher

Don't bin it...advertise it on Craigslist, free for the taking.

Somebody will come and pick it up. Those things are still much in demand. Beats the hell out of the cheap Harbor Freight version.

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Blighty teen boffin builds nuclear reactor INSIDE CLASSROOM

Peter Simpson 1
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Unhappy

Re: Congrats for common sense and a learning opportunity!

Huh...Maryland. I was expecting Florida. Looks like this "zero tolerance" silliness is spreading.

I hereby apologise to the rest of the world for the embarassment that is US education. We seem to be in a race to the bottom. Maybe it has to do with getting rid of all the good teachers and training the new hires to be mindless form-fillers...

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US gov claims it spent TOO MUCH on wiretaps – and blames SPRINT

Peter Simpson 1
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Holmes

Re: Overcharged to the tune of $21m.

Pocket change. Do you know what the war in the Middle East is costing us...*per day*?

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Jobless mum claims Spanish councillor told her to 'go on the game'

Peter Simpson 1
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Childcatcher

Re: Spain

Same could be said of my country...and probably yours, though mine is probably ahead of yours in variety.

// Canada's a strong third place, with Rob Ford...

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But... you work in IT... Why aren't we RICH?

Peter Simpson 1
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Childcatcher

Re: Totally agree about WTFapp

... in USA is that mobile users have to pay to receive a text...

If you don't have a texting plan, you have to pay to send SMS as well. So they collect twice, and the cost, once a nominal 0.05 has risen to 0.25 (for sender and receiver), but, as I said, it all depends on what your plan includes.

// in my next life, I'm running a d*mn telco: build the infrastructure, then just sit back and watch the cash roll in!

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Frenchman eyes ocean domination with floating, mobile Bond villain lair

Peter Simpson 1
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Re: Rolex?

...hitting the heady heights of a *spit* digital Seiko.

Even MI6 had to reduce budgets during the fiscal belt tightening of the 80s...it's all Q could afford, Bond is lucky he got a Seiko...it would have been a Lorus or an Armitron if Q hadn't gone to bat for him!

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Peter Simpson 1
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Black Helicopters

Re: Boys own adventure

...reverse lifting body airfoil. The thing would sink just by moving.

That's by [Yanko?] design -- it hides while it moves, then pops up where you least expect it!

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Peter Simpson 1
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Happy

But good luck to them - it's a daring idea and they deserve a chance to make it work.

...or drown trying.

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UK spies on MILLIONS of Yahoo! webcams, ogles sex vids - report

Peter Simpson 1
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Paris Hilton

Re: "Undesirable nudity"...

...between three and 11 per cent of the obtained Yahoo! webcam pics contained "undesirable nudity".

Unfortunately … it would appear that a surprising number of people use webcam conversations to show intimate parts of their body to the other person

Which comes as a surprise only in that the number was commonly thought to be much higher.

// undesirable...to whom?

// Paris...because

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Steve Jobs statue: Ones and ohs and OH NOES – it's POINTING at us

Peter Simpson 1
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Facepalm

Re: How to say 'Bit of a prick'

Have an upvote!

Can you read Cyrillic?

(apparently, what I thought was molding flash, is actually Cyrillic letters...)

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Peter Simpson 1
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WTF?

Molding flash

Looks like they forgot to grind off the flash from the molding process...and to break off the "1" and the "0".

It looks all out of proportion. But then, I'm not a sculptor and have always been pretty literal. I'm sure it will be fine, and as others have said, it looks like it includes coat and hat hooks, so it has that going for it.

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LOHAN chap brews up 18% ABV 'V2' rocket fuel

Peter Simpson 1
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Joke

Re: Never seen that airlock before

Which, uhmm, returns your comment above as the first result and also a query as to whether you meant to search for "SHARK BUBBLES" instead.

I was unaware of sharks' affinity for burritos. Perhaps there are other causes for shark bubbles?

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Ford to dump Microsoft's 'aggravating' in-car tech for ... BlackBerry?

Peter Simpson 1
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Re: QNX is Blackberry by name only

Two reasons I don't design Microsoft into the user interfaces for our embedded devices:

1. Cost - licensing, limited hardware platform options (Intel embedded stuff is much more expensive than, say, i.MX or ARM. We're actually using RasPi with Linux on our latest UI)

2. Future - I can't be sure how long the software platform will be around

Our software guy loves the features of .NET, but there's so much "business baggage" that comes along with using MS in an embedded environment, I'm just as happy to do without the hassle.

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Peter Simpson 1
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Joke

Re: Maybe a QNX based system

It's been a long tradition here in the US of A, that vehicles should have a clock on the dashboard (an extra-cost option, of course), but that under no circumstances should that clock actually *work*.

Perhaps, somewhere, there is a US-made car with a working [analog mechanical] clock, but I've never seen one.

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