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* Posts by Annihilator

2852 posts • joined 10 Jun 2009

Nipples and teen lesbians sexy even when ironic, ASA rules

Annihilator
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Further correction

"The product should not be displayed in the general release slot of game stores, it ruled, judging that it barely passed as a game and so was breaching trading standards"

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Libel reform vows to slay anonymous trolls

Annihilator
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Holmes

@AudiGuy

"what if the "defamation" is later to be found as fact? What happens then? Do I get to sue the person/entity that was allegedly defamed? Do I get an apology?"

No, because you're anonymous remember... :-) You might get an apology published, and have to sit quietly triumphant knowing you were right but can't tell anyone about it...

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Vegas man begs web for $1m to fix gigantic scrotum

Annihilator
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"What's the matter?"

I don't think the doc would need to ask that question in this case...

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Sony BDP-SX1 portable Blu-ray player

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Mushroom

"lappy"

Didn't that word get banished from El Reg on pain of death along with mobey?

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Apple iPhone 4S

Annihilator
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Meh

@Tony

""A bit faster, slightly better camera" That pretty much defines every new smartphone release for the past two or three years."

Perhaps, but would it have killed you to give an indication of how much faster? Lines such as "applications open in a trice" and "content is downloaded fast" are utterly meaningless and bordering on the good old hifi reviews of "the sound was warm and believable". As I understood it, the iPhone 4 was fast too.

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Annihilator
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re: Siri

"The other inherent aspects of Siri work well - e.g. play a particular piece of music / track."

You mean the features that have been working since the iPhone 3GS? Hold the button on the iPhone 3GS and 4 to say "Play songs by Queen" has worked long since Siri was involved - didn't need a network connection to do it either...

"Oh, and it's fast" - the iPhone 4 is slow?

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Apple 'prepping smaller iPad'

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A billion thumbs up

As I recall, one of the rumours for the iPad 2 was "retina" display. Presumably the Apple reporting tactic is "if we're wrong, just add it into iProduct version+1 rumour, repeat as necessary"

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Brits forced to join waiting list for iPhone 4S

Annihilator
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FAIL

Same crap system as before

Think they used that system for the iPad 2. God forbid they just enable some form of digital queue, where you can choose your store, register and be emailed when yours is ready to collect. Pretty sure they did that with the iPhone 4, but seemingly they now prefer to carry on the "it's still sold out! It must be amazing!" vibe.

So now, if you really want one and don't want to wait the current 2-week dispatch time, you have to hover around the website waiting for the magical "unavailable" message to disappear- from iPad 2 memory, it's around a 20 minute window each evening IFF they get any. Being "available" doesn't guarantee either, as you then have to get through the purchase process before someone else does.

Disclaimer: I own a (2nd hand) iPhone 4 and an iPad 2. I like them, I just dislike the theatrics whenever one is released. So much to do at Cartmanland, but you can't come (especially you Stan and Kyle).

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Ten... earphones for mobiles

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FAIL

@The Jon

I seem pretty certain that I'll turn my head at least just slightly before stepping out on the road, it's call "looking before you cross the road". But then again, I'm not an imbecile.

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Loudhailer

Fortunately I'm also capable of using the other primary sense useful in the situation of crossing the road - namely my eyes. Unless they've perfected cloaking technology recently, I'll be able to see that car/bus/truck coming.

How you think the hard of hearing cope in the world, I've no idea.

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Annihilator
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Fair question

But I suspect it's because the middle button has the iOS commands built-in (click for play/pause, double click for >>|, triple click for |<<, hold for voice activation). Whether that works for 'droid, nokia etc I don't know, but would be surprised. The mic and phones will work regardless.

I've got a pair of Sennheiser's for my iPhone, they are perfect for everyday use, especially as I end up ruining a pair of buds every 4-6 months or so, budget are all I'd ever go for.

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World+Dog goes bonkers for iPhone 4S

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Facepalm

and I charitably assume you've missed the fact that Siri was available from the App Store up until about 2-3 weeks ago, that it was invented by a third party and that all Apple have done is bolt it into the UI.

So yes, there are many people out there able to comment on how well Siri does or doesn't work.

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Annihilator
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Evidence

I'd guess the circumstantial evidence is gained by witnessing the same story with each revision, and that Apple broadly know how many they expect to sell, yet don't make them available on day 1. They may not be in a warehouse, but they sure as hell ain't in a shop or a consumer's pocket.

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Annihilator
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FAIL

@Code Monkey

G'ah! I queued to get into Alton Towers once! I wish I'd had you to coach me in the car park and I'd have come back on a rainy day in October instead.

Have queued in McDonalds once on a lunchtime, maybe I should have come back later in the afternoon.

What a fool I've been. Perhaps instead of doing what I damn well please, I should listen to people telling me not to be a sheep and ironically do what they tell me.

Disclaimer: didn't queue for an iPhone, but more than happy for people to go out and fill their boots.

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Annihilator
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Holmes

@Silverburn

"O2 has claimed it sold more iPhone 4S handsets in the first hour the gadget has been on sale than the number of iPhone 4s it shifted in 2010."

Yup, I made the same initial interpretation as you - namely that this morning, in an hour, O2 topped their entire 2010 sales numbers. Seems rather unlikely!

It's hardly a story though. If Apple are doing the usual ploy of not meeting demand then they get to control how many are sold each time. If they release 100,000 on day one, and next year release 100,001 on day one, they are able to perpetually generate the news story of "sales figures for opening day beat previous iPhone". Easiest marketing ploy in the world!

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RIM: 'Faulty switch took out faulty-switch-proof network'

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@John Rose

Selling their corporate solutions. BES hardware and licensing turns a pretty penny.

To prove a point, I've just slung my O2 SIM card in an old BB I have lying around and created a new O2 email via O2. I don't have an official blackberry contract. http://bit.ly/qQ8dQb

You may as well ask how gmail or hotmail makes any money. It's not their primary source of income, but sell the BB idea to a person, and that person may well be in a position to request BB in their place of work...

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Annihilator
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FAIL

No...

You're right, there's only so far that you take doomsday scenarios and it's generally based on probability. Would you have them crash 50 planes into a power plant for example? 100? Draw the line for me somewhere, and while you're at it, figure out a way they can meaningfully run these tests.

Aeroplanes today are generally built with triple-redundancy, why not four?

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Annihilator
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Easy

Give a complete refund for the percentage of however much they paid for Blackberry services. I can't see a difference in price plans over at O2 - as far as I can tell the Blackberry services are free.

Those who think you're paying a Blackberry charge, look close enough and it's the same price as the equivalent data tariff.

Samsung Galaxy or a Blackberry on O2: 50mins + 250 texts + 500MB data = £16.50

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BOFH: Where's my free fondleslab?

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"You can stay here in the big leagues and play by the rules, or you can go back to the farm club in Aurora, it's your choice."

"Yes, and it's the choice of a new generation."

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Annihilator
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It's obvious that the footnote wasn't written by El Reg - if it were, then the punishment in their eyes would have been to give Simon the iPads. Sort of in a similar manner where 1st prize is an iPad, 2nd prize is two iPads..

Unless this is a way to try and get back in to future Apple media events!

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Forza 4

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Thanks!

Did not know this, may actually dust off my copy and see if it's become a playable game

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Ace Combat: Assault Horizon

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Go

Straight out of Top Gun

"By hitting the air brakes and overlapping red and green threat markers on your HUD, holding L2 and R2 pulls of a special manoeuvre to outfox your pursuer and bring them directly into your sights."

Or more succinctly, as Maverick put it: "I'm bringing him in closer. I'm gonna hit the brakes, he'll fly right by. Woooo! Let's see what you've got now Jester..."

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One in 10 Brits leaves web passwords in their will

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Happy

"porn buddy"

A phrase I first heard on a TV sitcom in the 90's (Coupling I think?) where two guys became porn buddies and exchanged house keys. The long and short was that if either of them were to die, the other would go into their house before their loved ones had a chance and remove the deceased's porn. Not destroy mind you, just remove.

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Annihilator
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Boffin

Key

You missed the key phrase "or plan to". I don't imagine the surveyed a broad enough range of the population either, so probably asked 20-40 year olds. Even worse, it seems unlikely to be able to get that stat without explicitly asking "would or have you put your web passwords in a will?" which would prompt people it was a good idea and to say yes.

Yet another bit of "scientific research" kindly paid for by... oh wait.. Rackspace. It's almost as if the cost they paid for the research is outweighed by the free advertising they get through all the "news" stories that pick it up.

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Billion dollar telescope snaps galactic head-on

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@Lallabalalla

"I thought that as a result of the big bang everything in the universe was moving away from everything else"

By that definition you're gradually moving away from the earth...

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Annihilator
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Lucky you

I see an array of dishes like that, and instantly think of the film Contact. Then I feel overcome by suppressed shame and violation at the very memory of watching it.

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Annihilator
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Boffin

"first light"

Radio telescopes still capture light, just not usually visible light. The equivalent of "first light" for radio telescopes is "first light"

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Vodafone knocks over £120 off iPhone 4S

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Really?

I don't have to check the details to know that they haven't really "knocked over £120 off" and instead have just hidden this bonus somewhere in their tarrifs. You're still being massively ripped off.

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ISPs end PM's web smut block dream

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Boffin

Proxy is the key - and the workaround

The current IWF filter is already doing this on most ISPs. It's normally done by blacklist. There are plenty of companies out there capable of doing it - Websense manages our work anti-smut list I believe.

OpenDNS even provides a semi-decent attempt (but blocks at the DNS level, not IP level)

The IWF proxy usually manages to break legitimate files on the same sites as suspected naughtiness though, due to triggering defences by the host website (all traffic via the IWF proxies have the same source IP, so looks like a flood attack, though some ISPs have kludged this with multiple IP addresses).

As per the title, proxies are the simplest way to get around nearly every solution though.

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BlackBerry BBM, email offline AGAIN

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Stop

@PXG

You're paying exactly the same tariff to the network provider regardless of whether it's a Blackberry device you're using or not. You are not paying O2 Vodafone et al for any Blackberry services.

The Blackberry services are in essence free to Blackberry owners. What you and the rest of the world are currently b1tching about is the loss of a free (proprietary) service accessible only by a proprietary app on a proprietary device. You'd be as well asking for a refund from Google when gmail is offline - I'm sure they'd be happy to give you 100% of the price you've paid them: £0.00

This is really the equivalent of Whatsapp failing. I also find it odd that people are quick to attack Apple's walled garden approach, but seem to leave RIM/BB alone.

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Annihilator
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FAIL

The award for epic fail goes to s. pam for:

a) relying on a proprietary service for work.

b) not discerning between the network provider (Orange & O2 are down you say? They seem to be working just fine) and RIM's services.

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'Buggy' Facebook iPad app finally emerges

Annihilator
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Paris Hilton

Swing and a miss

Ever considered that developers *could* make apps that were scalable for both types of iOS device? Many do and are listed as "iPhone/iPad apps" instead of device specific. Air Video, Planets, Zombie GS, RWC2011 and Lovefilm are some of the apps I've used on both that spring to mind. It's the developers that make the choice.

If Android apps are scaling, then it's clear they were designed with this in mind. The Apple approach at least gives you the option of running phone-specific apps on the pad - "Some apps simply aren't available for the slab, period". Maybe if Apple banned iPhone apps on the iPad and removed that choice you'd be happier?

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Annihilator
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Go

Ah

""We're releasing it now because it's done," said Bret Taylor, the firm's chief technology officer assured the BBC."

Good to see the id Software methodology is alive and well.

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AT&T asks Apple to signal iPhone 4S is a 4G phone

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Paris Hilton

Who's blaming Apple?

It's (allegedly, it's a leaked memo with no guarantee of authenticity) AT&T who requested it, to no avail. Apple said at the launch they weren't going to get into what was and wasn't 4G.

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iPhone 4S pay-monthly tariffs compared

Annihilator
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It's not a tariff even worth considering, but allows them to claim the lowest cost to getting an iPhone 4S - even if it's useless.

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Twitter update: @regsecurity – The Reg bags imposter

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Paris Hilton

+1

Is there really any point in a Twitter RSS feed? Isn't that the whole point of RSS?

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US rocketeer thunders to 121,000ft

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Clarify

"for the next ground launched rocket flight above 100,000' with GPS log and successful recovery"

Presumably the word missing there was "amateur" or "non-government", or NASA could have easily snapped it up :-)

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Geeks chip in to fund nerd's space station gizmo launch

Annihilator
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Meh

News?

Slow news day? From what I can tell, the device itself doesn't figure out where you are either. In effect he's built a light that will turn on and off based on timings that a PC gives it in batch, scraped from the Heavens Above website. A 3 hour job, max, on an idea that's already been done.

Not an "ISS Detector", or even an "ISS Predictor", more a "Light that switches on depending on a third party website". I wonder if Heavens Above are happy for him to make a retail product based on a resource heavy screen-scraping of their website? The fact they don't expose their data via API (hence his need to write a python script to scrape) should be enough of a clue that they don't want it done.

A quaint idea, but certainly no more impressive than any random Arduino projects that people do as hobbies on a regular basis.

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BT superfast home fibre plans fall behind schedule. Again

Annihilator
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Unhappy

Don't hold your breath

If they didn't connect your cabinet up when your exchange was enabled, I suspect you'll be waiting a long time.

There was a spreadsheet somewhere on the net that I used to have, detailing when each postcode would be enabled - for the ones I saw, if they weren't done with the rest of the exchange, they weren't being planned at all.

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Water like that of Earth's oceans found in comet

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@Cynical git

"when the story started to be told and what limited scientific knowledge was available then it is not a bad potted history of the arrival of man on earth."

Much in the same way that I can see shapes in the clouds. It's rather easy to take a poetic story and make it fit if you use metaphors. Besides, the sequence of events is largely logical.

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Annihilator
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Boffin

re: Numbers?

Why did it stop raining comets? Because they either all settled into independent orbits, retreated to the Oort cloud, or hit the planets (having been dragged in by their gravity wells).

See the "Late Heavy Bombardment" theory(s) for details.

PS nice pun on the "raining" comets.. :-)

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iPhone 5: Apple 4S, pundits 0

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Trollface

Couple of things

1) Apple perpetuate the hype and milk it. Every company should be managing markets' expectations, if not for customers, then for shareholders. The could have easily sent out invites saying "Let's talk iPhone4s" and the new phone been hailed as brilliant instead of letting the rumour outrun the PR. The name doesn't really matter - they could just as easily have called it the iPhone 5 to keep the baying crowds happy.

2) "Another big FAIL goes out to the Chinese manufacturers of iPhone cases who gambled on a new form-factor and are now left with stacks of cheap plastic crap" - yup, what on earth are they going to do with plastic cases. It's not like they can just melt them down or something and make different ones.. oh.. wait... ;-)

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Apple predicted AI assistant for tablets in 1987

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Paris Hilton

Specific beta

"a feature of iOS 5 that'll first see beta release on the iPhone 4S."

Although I'd seen the Beta symbol plastered all over the Siri release, you're implying it's part of iOS5, being beta-tested on the 4S and presumably then cascaded across the rest of iOS5 devices?

Seems very odd, regardless.. Especially if the processing is done "in the cloud".

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iPhone 5 a no-show at Apple's 'Let's talk iPhone' event

Annihilator
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Stop

It may not cost you anything, but it'll be irreversible if you do update it. Personally I'd hang back and let someone else be the guinea pig. Wished I'd done that on the 3G anyway.

No hate, just experience.

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Unhappy

@Lee

"my 3GS does all I want and will be capable of running iOS 5"

I really wouldn't be so sure... it'll install, yes, but it'll probably run like a dog, like iOS4 did for the 3G.

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Annihilator
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Unhappy

@Andy Baird

I'd be prepared to be surprised. If it were available for all, shirley Siri would be currently telling you that "I've been replaced! The new Siri is even smarter and better looking than me, and waiting for you on iOS5"

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Annihilator
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Meh

Biggest "meh" ever?

So... pretty much a software update? I expect that Siri could easily run on an iPhone 4, but damned if they'll let that happen.

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Apple outs iPhone micro USB adaptor

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Simple!

"I've got 5 micro USB chargers sitting in my drawers, what am I supposed to do with them?"

You can now charge anyone's iPhone if they've forgotten their charger! Unless they've forgotten their much smaller micro USB adaptor.. oh... wait...

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Annihilator
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Facepalm

Facepalm

Missed the point much Apple?

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Ten reasons why you shouldn't buy an iPhone 5

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Unhappy

Some truth in some of the points

But really, does anyone really like the person in the corner of a party telling people the drinks are rubbish because it's "not a proper pint", the music is too loud and not "proper" music and that they're having fun all wrong?

Best quote I saw from someone recently "As with most discussions on the Internet, it has nothing to do with objective merits, just runaway emotion and unstated difference of premise."

If someone comes along and tells you why your phone is wrong and that their Apple phone is so much better, than feel free to make these points to them. But if they're just quietly getting on with their lives, owning a phone they believe is the right choice for them, then just leave them the fuck alone.

The levels of vitriol saddens me. As do the number of down-votes this will get.

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