* Posts by scottboy

66 posts • joined 10 Jun 2009

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Summary Care Records project lives

scottboy

...or maybe it won't

I was properly informed by my PCT about the proposed upload of data and promptly opted out, as did the rest of my family (surprisingly and pleasingly enough without any input from me). If enough people opt out, the project will presumably die.

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Finnish police raids target virtual thieves

scottboy
FAIL

Er...

They are big in Finland and have 15 million users<>they have 15 million users in Finland

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Britons: iPhone eighth most important invention — ever

scottboy

Best thing since...

I've done some research (OK, Wikipedia) and have discovered that sliced bread was marketed as the best thing since wrapped bread. Can anyone give me a list (ideally in reverse chronological order) showing how the "best thing since" has changed over the last few centuries?

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scottboy
Coat

Hot water

It was invented by some geyser.

I know, I'm leaving already...

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Oz customs search lappies and mobes for smut

scottboy

Just one question

What is the question that is being asked?

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Waterstone's whips out its pendulous dugs

scottboy
Coat

You're not the only one

I'm not too sure how many of the blokes here have enough real-life experience to recognise real dugs when they see them.

I won't be logging back on for a month, so don't bother.

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Internet Explorer drops below 60% market share

scottboy
Headmaster

Am I reading this right?

It looks rather like the author considers 60% to be two thirds. IE market share fell below two thirds in March.

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'Beauty with antimatter bottom' created out of pure energy

scottboy
Thumb Up

as any fule kno

Haven't seen that for years and now I can't find my copy chiz chiz.

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UK IT job outfit punts 491 private email addys

scottboy
Headmaster

You fail too

That isn't a problem with his grammar - it's a problem with his punctuation.

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scottboy
FAIL

Are they recruiting grocers?

To put the apostrophe in "trainee's"?

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Drupal 7: Sooner or later, but hopefully sooner

scottboy
WTF?

Eh?

I'm often accused of pedantry (actually, I'm just picky), but what is this meant to mean?

Google in 2008 said there's one trillion web sites putting Drupal one billion sites.

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New road made from pigsh*t in Missouri

scottboy
Coffee/keyboard

Skidmarks

Fnarr. And fnarr again.

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Wii Fit fall woman turns into nympho

scottboy

Re: Someone want to buy a Wii fit?

You're obviously using the wrong exercise technique. To increase the size of your wife's labido you're probably going to have to do something that involves small weights and patience, or possibly some kind of vacuum appliance. I'd Google it for you, but have Safesearch turned on.

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scottboy

Re: I think we've all missed the real question

Just get a Wii Fit, 'accidentally' spill butter on the board and wait.

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scottboy
Unhappy

Not fun

It must ruin lots of other Wii games too. No point in playing Super Mario Kart if you always know who's going to come first.

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Icelandic ash cloud to keep UK skies closed 'til Saturday

scottboy

Re: suprised

Let's keep the US Apache pilots away from there. They might think a good solution to the clouds of ash coming from a volcanic eruption is to add some high explosive into the equation. That would sort the problem out, wouldn't it?

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Death row inmate claims allergy to lethal injection

scottboy

Re: Justice/Revenge

But when you go home you can think of all the fulmination and general arsery going on here and know that you won't have to read it. Until tomorrow.

Sweet dreams.

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scottboy

@Scottboy

Interesting point. I think the issue might be clouded by Ms Bee's declaration that she was going to let everything through (unless it contained some ASCII art which looked like it might depict an under-18 year old doing something naughty).

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scottboy

Re: oh god

If someone tried to inject me with 'synide' I'd be mortified. Literally.

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scottboy
WTF?

Re: How about...

OK. I'm sure I'm not alone in not being down with the kids 'n' the hood and all that but what the hell is a "whitey on the gange"? Google was no help and I can't check urbandictionary at work.

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scottboy

Re: What is more cruel?

Well said - all you have to do is compare the murder rate in the US (death penalty - great deterrent) with, say, the wimpish UK (no death penalty and a slap on the wrist if you're lucky) and you'll see how effective your 'best deterrent' is. Look at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_countries_by_intentional_homicide_rate for example and it will prove your point.

Oh, wait.

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scottboy

Re: Pretty futile → # ↑

But if you then join in the discussion, are you liable again? I think this is becoming a meta-discussion.

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scottboy

Re: Careful

IANAL either, but I can read. If you moderate comments you may be liable, but if you don't then you're just a 'service provider' and aren't liable.

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Shrek's Donkey poses with bustier-clad strumpet

scottboy

Repeat?

Is this a re-enactment of http://www.theregister.co.uk/2010/04/12/stable_address/ ? The bloke was looking at the donkey, but his mind's eye saw the woman...

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Rutland Telecom offers local internet for local people

scottboy

Eh?

For a few seconds I thought Mr and Mrs Knapp had made their garden available for use as a public toilet. One way to fill your compost bin, I suppose.

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Bulgarians cop an eyeful of Penthouse billboard filth

scottboy
Joke

Stick it to them

They should ban the ad. That would be one in the eye for Playboy.

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Tories put ID cards, Contactpoint on manifesto hit list

scottboy
FAIL

Re: Easy to cut down on goverment waste

The amount they spend on appointment reminders is probably saved several times over by getting just one or two percent of people to turn up at the right time to see their doctor rather than have the doctor waiting around for them. Cutting "waste" can lead to higher costs if you don't think it through. Case in point - reducing the number of tax inspectors. Lower wage bill, but as each tax inspector was bringing in much more tax than their salary, overall effect is negative.

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scottboy

Getting old?

Some of what the Conservative party puts out now seems to make sense, at least on the first reading. I can't remember who said it, but as I get older there's a part of me that's more inclined to vote Tory - a part of me I really don't like. Might have to hold my nose and vote Labour to keep them out.

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Argentinian jailbreakers dress in sheep's clothing

scottboy

Re: Escaping dressed as sheep?

Crikey - I've attracted the attention of the moderatrix. Do I get a badge or anything?

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scottboy
Coat

Escaping dressed as sheep?

Were the Argentinian prison guards all large and one-eyed? Please say it's so.

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UKIP suspends Scouse candidate over sado smut movies

scottboy

@Ally J

End credits? You mean the bit after the screen goes white?

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scottboy

Jacqui Smith

She wasn't embarrassed by her husband watching porn. She was embarrassed by him then claiming it on expenses. Like the vast majority, I don't care if an MP's partner gets off by watching porn but but I'm blooming well not going to pay for it.

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How a Tory gov will be the most tech-savvy in history

scottboy

El Reg - Labour supporters?

By allowing a Tory MP to betray his ignorance in public, are we being nudged back into the arms of Labour? Not that I have any ideological aversion to that, but is there a hidden agenda?

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Council deforests beauty spot to combat dogging

scottboy
Joke

Riddle

If a threesome falls in the middle of a forest, does it make a sound?

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Loud sex ASBO woman back on the job

scottboy
Joke

She wants to be careful

I'm sure she doesn't want to be banged up. Oh, wait...

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Former model sues Universal over 'x-rated prop' outrage

scottboy

@Pascal Monett

"soggy spotlights" - that's a new euphemism on me.

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Bare-chested Shetlander welcomes Google with open fingers

scottboy

Odd blurring

The Richard Nixon-looking mask is unblurred, while the guy with the tinfoil hat has his arm blurred. Does he have a hyper-realistic tattoo of an registration plate on his arm? Perhaps Dangermouse can supply the details.

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Password reset questions dead easy to guess

scottboy

@alyn

You need a better dictionary. Mine starts with 'a' - a noun, preposition and the indefinite article.

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US must redesign killer hot dogs

scottboy

Bill Hicks

He might have been more tempted to say "Wow, 77 fewer gas station attendants in the world"

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Baker's dozen for bumper February MS Patch Tuesday

scottboy
FAIL

Grammar?

Full stops are punctuation, not grammar, and your apostrophes are unnecessary. I should always be a capital letter.

It's always a good idea to check thoroughly when you're correcting someone's English.

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ASA bites PETA over Baby P billboard

scottboy

@Cameron Colley

Say what you like about Hitler - he wasn't actually a vegetarian. http://www.vegsource.com/berry/hitler.html tells you his favourite foods were squab and sausage.

Never thought I'd find myself correcting people's misconceptions about Hitler. Funny old world.

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Next from Apple: The Pocket iPad

scottboy
Joke

More Apple devices

I think we need fewer multifunction devices and more specialised gadgets. Could I have something to alert me to the presence of young women in short skirts and low-cut tops? But what to call it?

<Leslie Phillips voice>

iSay

</Leslie Phillips voice>

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UK BitTorrent admin acquitted on fraud charge

scottboy

@lukewarmdiog

You, er, have got a Performing Rights Society licence, haven't you? You don't want to mess with them.

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MPs prepare to beat off phantom Olympic hooker invasion

scottboy
Joke

@TeeCee

Nice one

You missed rhythmic gymnastics and handball

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scottboy
Coat

@Hermes Conran

Overload? Sounds like a chargeable extra.

Mine's the mac with no buttons.

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scottboy
Joke

Beating off the hookers

In my day it was the other way round. How times change.

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Docs press for probe into 'designer vaginas'

scottboy

Launching a probe into designer vaginas

And I thought the Colorado marijuana reviewer sounded like a dream job.

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Upminster top for tupping on UK bonkmap

scottboy

Really

Upminster. Bangor. These names can't be a coincidence.

Aside - I remember an English lesson in the third form (Year 9 for the youngsters), when we were discussing "Under Milk Wood". Our teacher mentioned in passing that there was quite a bit of inbreeding on Anglesey before the Menai Bridge was built as, in his words, "people couldn't get across to Bangor very often." To this day I don't know if that was deliberate. Mr Johnson - if you're reading, please put me out of my misery.

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Musos demand Guantanamo Bay playlist

scottboy
Coat

@Jesthar

There's the Smellietubbies: Stinky Winky, Woopsie, Fart fart and Poo.

Well my 5 year old laughed.

Mine's the brightly coloured one with the TV screen on the tummy.

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Chinese media finger Swedish lesbian enclave

scottboy
Thumb Up

Fingering again

You've done that particular play on words quite recently - can we have a bit of variety please? Do Swedes refer to a large built-up area in the wilderness to a big spread in the bush? That should give you something to get you going.

It's also a shame you didn't give a link to the area on Google Earth. As this sounds like the ultimate seat of female pleasure, you need to give us blokes an awful lot of assistance in finding it. Drawing a map would be a good start.

I'm sure the lovelies in Sweden will appreciate a thumbs-up.

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