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* Posts by Greg J Preece

2272 posts • joined 10 Jun 2009

Park the Mario Kart, and throw your keys in the bowl

Greg J Preece
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Oh man, why didn't I think of that before?

Nintendildo! It's so obvious!

I feel stupid for not having thought of that wordmangle earlier.

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Greg J Preece
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Or you could just

Sod the games console, go upstairs and shag. Jesus.

I always thought the Wii MP controller in its big rubber sheath looked more like a sex toy than the Move. Especially in black. When I got my black Wii, I almost immediately started referring to it as the Wii Dildo.

Doesn't the Wiimote have a vibe motor too...

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Firefox 4 squeezes onto phones

Greg J Preece
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Oh boy, here we go again

Will you Opera fanboys please get over the fact that some of us like Firefox? On the desktop, I prefer the Firefox browser, so Firefox is the browser I want to sync with. Opera Mobile is an excellent browser, but I do not use Opera on the desktop, so its sync capabilities are useless to me.

Also, Firefox syncs more than bookmarks. Being able to turn my desktop off, fire up my phone and reopen the tab I was just reading is very, very useful.

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Greg J Preece
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Been using the beta for a while

Beta 5 is a welcome and vast improvement for Android, less so for Maemo. The Maemo version works, but seriously chugs.

This beta does fix one very important bug - in previous versions, when you moved the app to the SD card, it didn't move your user profile, so that would eventually fill your free space with cached content. When you upgrade to beta 5, refresh the SD card install and that will be fixed. The install seems smaller in this version too, down to around 12MB on my phone, before user data.

Beta 5 on Android, from using it this morning, is also a LOT faster than previous versions. As fast as the native browser? Nope. But fast enough to use, and if you value Firefox's functionality (sync is worth it for me), it's a nice little system.

BTW, the tone of the article, especially the headline, seems to make out at first like this is a final release. I know you mention it's a beta, but the headline and intro don't come across that way. Just my 2p. Anyway, recommended upgrade if you're with the betas already, and if you haven't used them yet because they just chuffed way too much (and I agree, they did), then give this one a shot.

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Apple names iPad 2 reveal date

Greg J Preece
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You know...

...yours is the most rabid post on this thread...

And has it occurred to you that people are judging them on their products? Perhaps it's just that certain of their products aren't very good.

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Greg J Preece
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Agreed, sir!

The iPad is the least impressive supergadgety thing I've used in yonks. For all its size and the pretty screen, there is little escaping the fact that it is a very large, very expensive iPod. And I don't like iPods much to begin with.

And I have seen 5x more Kindles on the train to work than I have iPads. Actually, I see at least twice as many actual working honest-to-God-I'm-trying-to-get-something-done-here-turn-your-fucking-music-down-your-Apple-branded-headphones-are-incredibly-shit laptops on the train as I do iPads. My 17" brick included.

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Apple 'outstrips' all brands at box office

Greg J Preece
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You're not a Trekkie are you?

"Eh? People do use Nokia - more so than any other phone company. And indeed, it would be refreshing to see Nokia for once, rather than advertising for Apple yet again. Or do you mean there's something different about phones to coke, and you'd object to seeing an Iphone or whatever there just as much?"

I was actually thinking more along the lines of plausibility. Are the filmmakers seriously trying to tell me that NOKIA are running the planetary communications network in the 23rd Century? That time when currency may/may not have been abolished, depending on your continuity. When we have one global government, no war, universal literacy, and capitalism is essentially dead?

My.

Arse.

The problem with product placement like that is that it just doesn't fit in with the environment. Seeing a Nokia in a Star Trek film is like seeing one of the soldiers in Braveheart brandishing an MP5. It's really jarring and stupid and pulls you out of the story.

But as I said, there are many and better reasons to hate Star Trek 11.

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Greg J Preece
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Ugh

I don't mind products being in a film if they're just there. If someone is in a movie drinking a Coke, fine. People drink Coke, this is ordinary. But there is definitely a line to cross. Seeing a Nokia in a Star Trek film, for example, though there are many, many other reasons to loathe Star Trek 11.

As for Apple, I remember what they did to Blade Trinity. Now THAT was blatant!

"Ooh, I just love killing vampires while listening to my iPod!" BASTARDS.

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Windows 7 service pack 1 set to lift off today

Greg J Preece
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Troll

Last time you checked

You were wrong!

Fresh install I did last week had 200MB of updates since the ISO was last refreshed. And this isn't a fresh install, it's an update.

Now if we're going to talk fresh installs, I installed an XP machine the other week and after SP3 it still had 90 updates to run. A Win7 machine typically has 50 updates after install, and that's long before installing any actual useful software, which a Linux install comes with out of the box.

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Greg J Preece
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So most people will download it next week

In case of system failures/other major screw ups.

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Facebook pulls naked smutty filth from NY Academy of Art page

Greg J Preece
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You know, I'd almost forgotten that one

I think it was so ridiculous that my mind simply erased it. I guess we're screwed either way. The wonders of a modern, enlightened age.

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Greg J Preece
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How ridiculous is it

How ridiculous is it for a drawing of a nude person to be tasteful, but a photo of the same person to be obscene? This pathetic imposition of morality from certain US-based companies is starting to grate...

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Windows Phone 7 gets 'goodie' update

Greg J Preece
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Sounds familiar

A resource hungry bloatware music app that you have to install in order to update your phone. Hmmm, where have I heard that before...

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Google threatens Chrome address bar with death

Greg J Preece
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FAIL

*Cough*

I could be a dick and point out that you can already enable this kind of behaviour in Firefox with one of a number of add-ons, but I would rather ask why the hell you would want this kind of behaviour in the first place. Hiding the URL bar for inexperienced users is just begging for a phishing attack.

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Intel demos MeeGo 'tablet user experience'

Greg J Preece
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Sweet

Going to have another bash at getting it on my N900. Is it a Debian-based system again?

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Greg J Preece
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Ahem

"Tablets will never be anything more than that."

Tablets have been more than that for years. It's just that tits like you think that Apple invented them, and that a glorified picture frame is worth £600.

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Greg J Preece
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You've missed a bit there

Tapping on the UI is not intended to bring up a menu. Just like on Maemo and Android, to select an item, you tap it, and to bring up a context menu for an item, you hold on it, which is exactly what he does in the vid.

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Greg J Preece
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Looks nice, but...

Can I still tap a few buttons and bring up Bash? Seriously, that's like the best thing about having a Maemo device - underneath it all, it's Debian. If I can have a panel on there that tails our site logs off to one side of what I'm doing, you've sold me. I'll buy two.

And no, Android users, don't tell me you can do the same. The SSH clients I've tried on my Desire are all crap. The best multitasking system I've used is Maemo, and this also looks better for the way I work.

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iPhone 5 rumors: bigger, smaller, cloudy, keyboard-equipped

Greg J Preece
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You know Apple

"And you know Apple: they don't comment on unreleased produts, or on rumors and speculation."

They merely fuel the existing rumours and speculation, also known as free publicity from the pants-wetting fanbois.

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Coming soon: Die Hard 5 - The Zimmer Frame

Greg J Preece
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Oh God, no

Die Hard 4 was an atrocity. Why can't people know when to stop?

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Mozilla: 'Internet Explorer 9 is not a modern browser'

Greg J Preece
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Your post has to be a wind-up

"...all of which are rarely used because of compatibility issues"

*Headdesk*

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Firefox 4 now one beta away from Release Candidate status

Greg J Preece
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Dear Downvoters

I do believe that was sarcasm on AC's part. Unless you're Opera fans, in which case you may continue with the Great Crusade.

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Greg J Preece
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Wow, you're right

El Reg never write articles about Opera Betas!

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2010/11/23/opera_11_beta/

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Channel Five reborn as Channel Five

Greg J Preece
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You seem to think

That Five News can get worse!

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Mysterious crypto-book dated to 15th century

Greg J Preece
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You knew it was coming

And six people have probably posted it already:

http://xkcd.com/593/

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It's official: Nokia bets on Microsoft for smartphones

Greg J Preece
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God DAMN IT!

Maemo's a great system, but they dropped it like a hot brick.

MeeGo was looking like it could be really good, but we all know what's going to happen there now.

Guess I'm back to Android for my next phone. :-(

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UK.gov shreds last ID scheme hard drives

Greg J Preece
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Black Helicopters

You looking for this?

<<< Yes, that is a black helicopter, honest, and not a well-endowed mosquito.

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Linux vulnerable to Windows-style autorun exploits

Greg J Preece
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FAIL

So this is...

...a bug that only affects unpatched software, if you've deliberately made the system weak enough for it to work, and it still couldn't do anything catastrophic to the system, or spread a worm.

Excuse me while I panic.

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Android goes virtual

Greg J Preece
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It's Java, dude

See title

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Greg J Preece
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Kick ass!

Going to get this downloaded on my N900 right away. There's very little that I miss from my other Android phone, but the few bits I do will be ported over lickety-split.

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BBC iPlayer iPad app out this week

Greg J Preece
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Not quite

"I assume the other apps dipped into the H.264 stream that the BBC supply for iOS devices. Everyone else is now locked out of that since certain client certificates shipped only with those devices are required."

Actually no. The Beeb got rid of the app from the Market, but I guess the API was already too well established, and locking it to devices would get the Beeb in trouble very quickly. BeebPlayer still works! Assuming you used ASTRO or similar to back up the *.apk... ;-)

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Greg J Preece
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Coffee/keyboard

Re: No

Damn it, I just bought this keyboard!

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Texting teenager plunges to his death

Greg J Preece
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@Darwin posters

Granted, the family trying to push an accident caused (it seems) by inattention or inebriation onto the place where it happened is the kind of idiocy you would expect from grieving relatives, and the reason policy should never be formed on the opinion of the deceased's mother (or in this case, grandmother).

And, granted, falling off something, whilst very easy, is not the most macho way to die - that position is obviously reserved for suffering a heartattack machine-gunning zombies to death while a gaggle of sexually curious schoolgirls suck you dry.

All that said, are you aware that as a result of this incident someone is dead? Not a Neo Nazi, a Tory MP, or some other group everyone despises, like smug Opera users, just some dude like you and me.

Well not like me, obviously. I'm some kind of mutant, it seems.

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Bold as brass metal thieves disrupt rail, comms, electric

Greg J Preece
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Well look at that!

It's Monday morning and my train has been cancelled because some arse has stolen cable on the line. This is getting to be way too regular.

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Apple's app store policies: What will they provoke?

Greg J Preece
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DRM?

Embedding text in a webpage is hardly difficult.

Converting books to webpages is child's play.

Making it so that you cannot then copy. save, redistribute, or otherwise dick around with the webpage is very difficult indeed.

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Google to Microsoft: You're stealing our search results!

Greg J Preece
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Troll

@ThomH

<<< Maybe I should have used this icon.

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Greg J Preece
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Other possible circumstances

For example, if your company logo is fruit-based, and you're well in with the journalistic media at large...

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Greg J Preece
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LEO?

Low Earth Orbit?

Low Emissions Optimum?

Long-term Ecosystem Observatory?

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Newest PS3 firmware hacked in less than 24 hours

Greg J Preece
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Crysis 2 on the 360

That's going to be hilarious. The 360 wouldn't have coped with the first game without some toning down or bits being ripped out, so God only knows what the second one will be like. With any luck it won't end up like Deus Ex on the PS2...

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Greg J Preece
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Any bricking reported?

Friend of mine is the manager of a store that buys and sells games/consoles/whatever, PS3s included. He's been telling me that some of the older, fat PS3s have been bricking with this update applied. Any truth to that?

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US lawmakers eye internet 'kill switch'

Greg J Preece
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Typical

So while the rest of the world is condemning Mubarak + co's handling of the riots, US lawmakers are studying the conflict to see if they can learn any lessons in oppression. Sure, this may have been stewing for several years, but the timing is questionable at best.

Wonder if one of these "cyber emergencies" will suddenly manifest itself this year...

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Home Office crime maps go to street-level detail

Greg J Preece
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We all know who's really excited

Insurance groups! Another set of excuses to ramp your premiums to ridiculous levels.

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Oracle spurns Ruby devs for Java love

Greg J Preece
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I agree!

The PHP support in NetBeans over the past few years has turned into something awesome, and it's become my main PHP editor, not least because I was already using it for Java. It also supports a slew of other front-end web languages, including JS/jQuery, in ways that have made my life much easier. Losing support for those things would be a real blow.

Eclipse, by comparison, is a confusing clusterfuck. I could never get into using it, though I know a lot of people do. NetBeans just makes more sense to me, and the rest of the tech team here agree

I imagine the RoR support will simply be resurrected as a module. Can they get hold of the core NetBeans code and turn it into one? If "removed" means "turned into a user-maintained module", then that's not so bad. Some of the contributed modules are excellent - just started using Foxbeans last week for some Mozilla development and it's great.

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Greg J Preece
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nbAndroid

Not as good as the Google-developed Eclipse plugin, but there is a Netbeans plugin for Android, and it's improving all the time. I've coded up several bits on it and it's competent enough.

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Pothole-spotter app aims to stop arse ache

Greg J Preece
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And for me!

My road is so bad that the potholes are now four inches deep in places, and the cobbles that the road replaced are making a comeback. I could put in literally 50+ reports just on that one road. It needs resurfacing.

Oh, but they did send a guy round last week. He filled in about 6 of them, fairly roughly, then left. And the only ones he filled were in the exact spot on the road where there's a gas leak, and they're about to rip the road up to fix it. D'oh! Could you not see the strange yellow markings on the road right next to your white ones?

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Single complaint sparks police raid and total ban on rental movie

Greg J Preece
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FAIL

Logic Fail!

>>He added: "I cannot imagine why anyone would want to watch something like that."

Right after having watched it...

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Scotland bans smut. What smut? Won't say

Greg J Preece
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Perfect Blue

That would be an interesting one. It's got a group rape scene, except that the rape scene in the movie is staged - it's part of a movie being made, within the movie. It'd be pretty ironic if that got banned.

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Greg J Preece
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Errr

....we had an extreme porn law first. Did no-one tell you? If you're into BDSM, that kind of thing, this isn't the best time to be living in England. Strange as it may sound to people not into it/not previously exposed to it, violent sex, including rape-play and knife-play, is what turns some people on.

This law is, I presume, to protect against pornography created where one or more participants are being forced into it, but how do you tell that from a picture? The extracts given in the article appear to make no leeway for genuinely produced erotica, even if it contains the common preamble of the actors giving consent/discussing the video's content. That is what concerns a lot of people, myself included.

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Verizon backpedals on unlimited iPhone data

Greg J Preece
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That's some expensive data!

200MB for $15? I pay £5 for 3GB!

And $30 a month for data? Are you shitting me? That's more than my entire contract, with more calls and texts than I'll ever use. What a rip off! Is this the case with all smartphone contracts over the pond, or is it just the iPhone?

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Matrix 4 and 5 in works, threatens Keanu

Greg J Preece
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I do exactly that!

"I just don't care much about sequels if they're no good. I do not acknowledge them."

I know exactly what you mean. There are only two Terminator movies, after all.

That said - and I know I'm going to get shouted at for this - Matrix Revolutions is my favourite of the live action Matrix movies. Not for the stupid ending, oh no, but for three very simple reasons:

1) Matrix 3 has the least amount of Keanu Reeves in it

2) I thought the Battle for Zion was a very enjoyable action segment. Mechs, bazookas, mines, 250 000 squiddies. Oh yesh.

3) Matrix 3 has the least amount of Keanu Reeves in it

But then again, my absolute favourite part of the Matrix saga is the Animatrix. Some of those shorts, especially The Second Renaissance, were superior to all three live action movies.

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