* Posts by Ihre Papiere Bitte!!

285 publicly visible posts • joined 22 May 2009

Page:

Tories drop opposition to UK.gov DNA plans

Ihre Papiere Bitte!!
Black Helicopters

@ CD001 1148

I know the radio ad you mean. I'm currently waiting to have my doors kicked in by armed police, because:

* I have a couple of windows covered at the moment (due to building work in the house)

* my wife is Asian

* I have a beard

* my wife buys compost etc (for her allotment)

* We have weapons (e.g. swords, staves) in the house, which we carry outside (we're both long-term martial artists, and take them to our dojos)

* I always wear a big leather jacket, even when it's "unseasonably warm to do so".

* I've recently bought a new mobile phone, meaning we now have about a dozen handsets between us.

*GULP*

Ihre Papiere Bitte!!
Thumb Down

Chris Grayling

Is a prize dick at the best of times. No surprise he's changed his mind for no apparent reason, probably the wind changed. Or, more likely, Cameron has told him to stop speaking, due to him making a tit of himself every time he opens his mouth.

What would happen if we could arrange for every party's leader and (shadow) minister to lose their seats at the election? Say, make sure Gordon Brown loses Kirkaldy, Cameron & Clegg lose Witney and Sheffield, get rid of the Millibands, Grayling and the rest of them.

If nothing else, it might be entertaining watching the MPs who do get elected running about like headless chickens wondering WTF to do now! And let's face it, it couldn't be much worse than the prospect of any of the 3 becoming Supreme Leader Elect.

If I had a Facebook and a way too much time I'd start a campaign to do just that

Google Checkout checks out

Ihre Papiere Bitte!!

@CD001 12:08

I was under the impression that Visa developed 3D Secure, and then Mastercard jumped on the bandwagon?

I know every time I try to use my new Visa debit, I get the Verified by Visa, which means I normally back up to use my main Mastercard, which is already registered with SecureCode. I'd sooner keep just one card registered with these things than a bunch.

Ihre Papiere Bitte!!
Unhappy

NatWest too

Recently had my Maestro replaced by Visa Debit, which is a PitA (as online payments now need to be set up using a new KindaVerifiedIsh By Visa where Maestro used MasterCard InSecure, card details need changing with various merchants etc).

Still had over 18 months left on my Maestro, but no option to continue to use until expiry. Makes no sense, as they use Mastercard for the Natwest credit cards.

At least with my shiny new Visa Debit, I can use Google Checkout. Oh, wait....

German group urges boycott over Facebook privacy shake-up

Ihre Papiere Bitte!!

"carefully selected third-party companies"

Translation: anyone who pays them for the info....

Just like the (e- or snail) mailing lists sold on by pretty much every company in the country if you do tick the box / don't tick the box / tick the box with too small a tick / tick the box with too big a tick / tick the box with the wrong color pen.

I don't (for once) understand the problem. Every time you hand over your info to any commercial enterprise, you have to specify that you don't want them to pimp your data out. Is what FaceBook is doing too different? As long as you have the opt-out option, how is it different from what everyone else from banks to supermarkets do, aside from the volume & nature of the data they want to flog?

If you use a Nectar card, Sainsburys want to sell details of your shopping to their Nectar partners - I find that more invasive than if I had a FB profile and Zucker wanted to sell details about how many friends I have on my list or what sort of stuffed toy I am...

(Note: I don't have an FB account, and I'm no fan of / apologist for them. If there's a blindingly obvious reason which is only apparent to FB users, forgive me for not knowing about it!)

Nicole Richie turns Twitter hacker on celeb chums

Ihre Papiere Bitte!!

Re: AC 1734

I personally don't find the phrases "distressing". I do find it, I guess, "inappropriate trivialisation" might be a suitable phrase. The way that a crime, which I would consider to be one of the most damaging to an individual, can be brought into common language to describe something so inconsequential as having your 1234 Pa55word guessed and a couple of embarassing blog entries made, just makes me agree with the pressure groups who say that the crime itself isn't taken seriously. Agreeing with them isn't something I often do, and is a bit of a change of perspective for me - most of the press releases from (whichever cause) groups make me cringe in embarassment at best.

Hadn't really thought about "killer app" before. Probably because I've had more personal experience with the former - I know a couple of people who have been raped or sexually assaulted, and have seen first-hand what it did to them, which is why this one leaped (leapt?) out at me. Having spent many, many hours with them, seeing previously-outgoing and fun people reduced to paranoid shells of their former selves, it's not the sort of phrase I would ever feel appropriate to use.

I'm sure some people do get over it "very quickly", though I've never seen that sort of recovery first hand. A lot of cases seem to go unreported through one or more of the following, rather than it being "not that big a deal" (as I read your post to indicate can be the case):

* fear of retribution (esp. in ongoing abuse, or where the assaulter is known to the victim)

* fear of not being believed (family, friends, the authorities to whom it's reported)

* humiliation (at the thought of the invasive examination, everyone else's opinion, giving evidence, court case)

* guilt (belief that it was the victim's fault)

Torture & false accusations of extreme porn? Where does the government come into this????

Ihre Papiere Bitte!!
Unhappy

Hmmmm....

It's not often I agree with "awareness groups" and the like, but, for once, I'll go out on a limb and do so. The use of "frape", or, as some suggest above, "facerape", being intoduced into common parlance is one of the nastiest indictments I've seen of our society lately - and that's saying a lot. Kinda trivialises ~actual~ rape - which is one of the most harmful and traumatising experiences a person* can be subjected to - don'tcha think?

*Yes, it's mainly women. It can and does happen to blokes, who have even less of a support framework than the rather pitiful one that female victims do.

Mandybill enters pre-election wash-up

Ihre Papiere Bitte!!
Happy

Sure there is!

There's the grumpy bastard, the smarmy bastard, and the other bastard.

How a Tory gov will be the most tech-savvy in history

Ihre Papiere Bitte!!

Used WriteToThem

Just used the WriteToThem facility to send this guy an email and let him know just how ridiculous he looks using the sort of "Daily-Mail-Level" technology speak to a IT website.

****************************************************************************************

Sir,

Regards your article published today on "The Register" website ("How a Tory gov will be the most tech-savvy in history" at http://www.theregister.co.uk/2010/04/06/tory_tech_savvy/)

This sort of article does not do you or your party any favours. You've missed a lot of points and made some incorrect assertions - e.g. Apple iPhone open source? No, it is nothing of the kind!

It does nothing more than make the Conservatives look even more out of touch than they already did. If you would like some clues about what you got wrong, have a look at the comments made by other readers of the article at The Register (http://forums.theregister.co.uk/forum/2/2010/04/06/tory_tech_savvy/).

I have been, for the last 20 years or so, a "reliable" Conservative voter. Now, with the general election looming, with nothing but contempt for the New Labour structure, I do not feel I can vote for your party. The thought of another 5 years of Gordon Brown fills me with terror - but the thought of 5 years of David Cameron does exactly the same.

Kind Regards,

Mike (Reg Reader: "Ihre Papiere Bitte!")

(Please note: I am not a resident within your area. I have supplied a Hatfield "dummy" postcode in order to use the "WriteToThem" facility).

****************************************************************************************

El Reg April Fools 2010

Ihre Papiere Bitte!!
FAIL

Caught, Well and Proper...

<-Fail on my part!

The comments one got me. Completely and Utterly. I could say that I found it entirely believable that El Reg staffers needed some extra beer money, but that would likely get me smacked, so I won't....

I actually spent some time thinking about some of the effects, and posted a comment showing the world just how badly I was caught out.... 24 lines of deep reflection on the matter. Oops? Oops. Definitely, oops....

http://forums.theregister.co.uk/post/731879

(for those who would like to point & laugh at my expense!)

Ah well. Just you wait til next year, El Reg!!!

New Reg comments system ready to launch

Ihre Papiere Bitte!!
Coat

Oops

<-Mine's the one with £12 in the pocket marked "El Reg Fund".

I'm starting to think that maybe I'd had just enough coffee to think about things too much, and not enough to spot the date...

Meh, in case this ever does go under consideration, my comments above stand.

Ihre Papiere Bitte!!
Happy

Zapping? Hmm, not sure...

What happens if you get "zapped" by 3 people, getting your account deleted, if you've paid your year's subscription? Especially if this is because you've said something quite reasonable like "I believe that Google is invading privacy and retaining too much data"? How would a comment like that be grounds for account deletion?

I can imagine that the account numbers will plummet after a contentious topic. Look at the histrionics on any article about smoking, for example. I think my account would have been banned 20 times over if left to fellow commentards on the last one alone!

I can see that this could be a good function, but I think it might need some oversight* to prevent abuse and could end up being a race between pro / anti (topic) to try and silence the opposition. It could well lead to any but premium commenters becoming over-cautious in an attempt not to be deleted, or just to cease commenting altogether (in which case, they'd wonder why they're paying their fiver, which I'm pretty sure wouldn't be the intent!)

Or maybe I'm just a bit too cynical?

(*e.g. you can't zap more than x accounts in y period, accounts zapped three times are subject to moderator review rather than simply deleted, accounts that zap too frequently are themselves reviewed by moderators, accounts are monitored to see if they're shills for particular interests)

On the other hand, I value El Reg enough that I would happily shell out £12/year (£1 a month for this sort of goodness? Here's my card...) in order to fully participate, and I'm quite excited (not like that, you filthy beasts!) to see what's coming in the future.

Mobile calls to get much cheaper - probably

Ihre Papiere Bitte!!

This is why...

When the last review took place c10 years ago to reduce from the existing 4-5 weeks to 5 days, it was donor-led. OFCOM (and the networks) were very concerned at the prospect of slamming - we were seeing enough of it even with the fax-based, long-wided system we had in place at that time. It was also a real concern because of (e.g.) door-to-door energy and telephone salesmen doing that, which was hitting the news over and over.

One of the biggest problems was the proliferation of independent phone shops that were everywhere and had a lifespan of about a year before they disappeared, after which the owner could never be found. At least that's less of a problem now, though I'm not sure whether the domination of the market by the big chains doesn't cause more problems than it solves.

(I was at O2 at the time, and was involved with the creation of MNP2 as it was known)

Ihre Papiere Bitte!!
Stop

Non-Geo Numbers?

They're the biggest single problem, as far as I'm concerned.

I have a package suitable for my usage in terms of volume, I never go over my inclusive minutes. But I **ALWAYS** end up paying more due to 0800, 0845, 0870 etc numbers, none of which are included in the inclusive minutes, and are charged at normal rates on top.

It's fine when I'm at home, and I can look up alternative numbers, but when I'm out and about and need to call someone on one of those numbers fairly quickly, I end up paying extra. And 0800 numbers are never the quickest to be answered, so I'm paying extra whilst being told that my call is important to them. The "Say No to 0870" site is a pig to use when on a GPRS connection.

I find it unlikely that calling (e.g.) from my O2 mobile to a Vodafone mobile costs O2 so much less than calling an 0800 number that the first can be included in my bundle, and the second can't.

BlackBerry hooks up with LinkedIn

Ihre Papiere Bitte!!
Thumb Down

LinkBerry?

I have an account on LinkedIn that I was using when I was looking for work last year, to an extent at least. I believe it's more responsible than anything else for the torrent of spam I received to the included e-mail address (thankfully, a disposable).

Haven't logged in since they "teamed up" with Twitter and insisted on sending me no less than six separate e-mails telling me just how wonderful this combination would be, and how fulfilled my life would become if I immediately started using LinkedIn to "follow" my "favourite people".

I won't be adding this to my BlackBerry anytime soon. And I mean "soon" in glacial terms.

London council loses thousands of kids' details

Ihre Papiere Bitte!!
FAIL

Lessons Learned

"The council said it has now disabled external storage devices to stop staff making unauthorised copies of data and is setting up an independent review of what went wrong."

Y'know, that has a bit of a familiar ring to it.... Sure I've heard it before somewhere.

Maybe, just maybe, an education department (I assume that's the council dept dealing with this, as it relates to school records) should have (forgive me) paid attention in class and learned from all the lessons where this subject has been covered in the past, often in excruciating detail.

Back of the class and a dunce's hat for Barnet Council.

Legal high fire sale starts now

Ihre Papiere Bitte!!

Shamans...

don't come from an Anglo-Saxon tradition, so good luck getting the Daily Heil to support you even if you can get Joey Nine-Trees Charging Buffalo of the Cherokee to lobby on your behalf. You'd end up with an article about how Good Christian Values (TM) are being threatened by heathen mushroom-munching, deadly-skunk smoking foreigners, and the Twat-O-Tron would be working overtime.

Ihre Papiere Bitte!!
Pint

@ Andyman

"am I the only IT professional left here who doesn't take illegal drugs?"

No you're not. I don't, either. However, that's through personal choice more than anything else, I've tried a few types, and just wasn't keen on the effects, rather than it being anything moral.

If they banned whiskey & cigars tomorrow, then I'd be "taking illegal drugs", and that's why I feel the need to be quite libertarian in my approach to this argument. The Govt bans substances, making them "illegal", quite arbitrarily, rather than on the basis of risk and science. As is often stated, tobacco causes more deaths than all of the illegal drugs in this country, and I smoke cigars, so I'll quite happily stand up for someone who wants to smoke a (safer) reefer.

The quoted research in favour of relaxing the drugs prohibition indicates that, were they legalised, many aspects to the current drug "problem" would disappear, alcohol would continue to cause the problems it currently does. I won't go into the arguments here, as I'm not particularly familiar with many of the nuances, and because other people will be able to explain them more ably than myself should the need be found to do so.

Ihre Papiere Bitte!!
Thumb Down

Govt Listening to their advisors

Because the advisors said what the politicos wanted to hear, this time, it seems. Proof that conditioning works: Scientists providing support for whatever the politicos want to "prove".

Trustpilot prunes florid iFlorist tributes

Ihre Papiere Bitte!!

I thought...

that gef05 was, like a few other posters, a genuine "normal" (as far as the term can be used) Reg reader making a funny. Don't think I was alone, as it has a couple upvotes and no downvotes (at the time of writing). I didn't think it was possible for such a post to be written seriously.

Oops. Guess I'm once again guilty of rating users of the interwebs a little too highly.

Child safety tsar demands faster action

Ihre Papiere Bitte!!
Happy

Huh?

"Killed the Czar and his Ministers; Anastasia screamed in vain"

What on earth does Sympathy For The Devil have to do with anything??

Agree with everything else you said. Just the last sentence really threw me, and now I have the song running round and round my head, which, considering how badly I sing, is starting to tick off my co-workers.

*I was around when Jesus Christ had his moment of doubt and pain...."

Ihre Papiere Bitte!!

So let's just check here....

Report sponsored by the UK government says that the UK leads the world in (report subject)?

Wow. I didn't expect that one.

I do like how on the one hand they say:

"UKCCIS should work with mobile phone manufacturers to improve parental controls on mobile phones and consider the need for minimum standards for parental controls on games consoles. This should include more support for parents on how they can use and access these controls."

and this is followed immediately by:

"...the focus of her report is on empowering children and young people to take control of how they use digital technology responsibly, rather than simply blocking what they can access."

Doublethink in action....!

Nips slip past Apple censors

Ihre Papiere Bitte!!

Modigliani paintings

Would look alright when really pissed. I mean *really*.

Radio lobby 'hides' 2m analogue receiver sales

Ihre Papiere Bitte!!
WTF?

"so hold on to your trannies"

Say WHAT??

Oh.... transistor radios..... phew....

N00b spooks to be pensioned off

Ihre Papiere Bitte!!

MI5 Are Spamming....

Well, kinda.

Every so often, I get an email from TotalJobs saying "Exciting new opportunities with (XXXX)!!!!! Apply now!!!!"

Last week, I got one about MI5 wanting IT professionals... Gotta be discreet though, you can't tell anyone you work there. I guess the fact that I'm posting this here shows just how inappropriate it would be...

(And the closing date of 01/04/10 seemed strangely fitting....)

MSI tells 97,000 customers to 'Read The F***ing Manual'

Ihre Papiere Bitte!!
Unhappy

You're Not Alone... not at all!

"Have you switched it off and back on again?"

"You need to plug in the yellow cable we supplied. The yellow one. The what connection type? No, the YELLOW one!"

"Right. Can you monitor it for 72 hours and call us back if it persists?"

"OK, so you can't get an internet connection. Can you just go to our website and run the speed test?"

*sobs*

UK.gov biz department wonders if Twitter is worth the effort

Ihre Papiere Bitte!!
WTF?

ow...

That clue-stick would hurt if it had any substance to it.

We're not talking about whether or not Twitter is useful. We're talking about whether or not ist's suitable for uk.gov to spunk our tax money on it when they do so for no discernible benefit to the people whose money it is.

123reg is onbviously, based on what you say (I've never used it) a good example of appropriate Twitter use. BIS is a *bad* ezample.

And call me a Luddite, but I keep up with my mates the old-fashioned way, by actually speaking to them. A few have Twitter broadcasts or whatever they call them, but I quite frankly have enough to do already without looking at yet more inane drivel on the interwebs. Sorry guys....

So I can see your examples might be useful. Great, I'm not useless then. But WTF does that have to do with Twitter.gov wasting our tax money on shit that no-one gives a toss about?

I eagerly await my next clue-stick battering.

Ihre Papiere Bitte!!

72nd response....

Just added my own opinions there.

Do you use them? No

Do you find them useful? No

What can we do to improve them? Get rid and stop wasting my money on them.

Any other comments: Twitter and YouTube are not suitable channels for this kind of communication. I'm an IT worker, not a computer-illiterate luddite, and I have no interest in watching yet more pointless spin on YouTube.

Strangely, it took a number of attempts to submit. Lots of fellow commentards making their feelings known, I wonder?

Chattanooga devil dog eats cop cruiser

Ihre Papiere Bitte!!
Thumb Down

@AC 00:12

"Am I a cruel b'stard ??"

I think the answer is an unequivocal YES.

Biometric harvest network can handle just 700k a year

Ihre Papiere Bitte!!
Coffee/keyboard

Dear Mr Hplasm

I would like to purchase a lease on your last comment. I trust 10% of any monies received as a direct result of any use of your comment, along with full credit, would be acceptable?

I also enclose invoice for cleaning spluttered coffee from my keyboard, monitor, and boss's suit.

Kind Regards,

IP Bitte

Ihre Papiere Bitte!!
Go

"The Title is Too Long"

"I love it when the comments thread for a Big Brother article on the Reg turns into a geographical knowledge pissing contest"

However, that in itself gives me an idea.

Dissolve Parliament.

Run the country by the El Reg Comments Threads.

(@ Sarah: sorry for any nightmares that concept might give you. You can be "Speaker".)

Ihre Papiere Bitte!!
Flame

You can tell the difference?

Seriously, when I see a politician on TV these days, I often have to wait for the little label thing at the bottom to tell me which bunch of lying, deceptive, self-serving, grasping, egotistical, maniacal bottom-feeders they belong to. And I do, of course, say that with the greatest of respect to our "dear leaders".

Google remarkets behavioral ad eyeball creep

Ihre Papiere Bitte!!
Paris Hilton

Click where? Oh, here! And there? OK!

@heyrick, 04:07 (what sorta time IS that???)

"Isn't that sorta like spam saying "If you don't wish to receive our messages, click HERE"?"

You mean that doesn't work? Huh. Dammit. All that time I spend saying "no thank you", wasted....

Paris would click there.

Met launches net café spy operation

Ihre Papiere Bitte!!
Joke

Soup

"Most of you lot wouldn't know irony if it stood up in your soup."

I would too. I'd say "and why have you brought me a fork with my soup?"

Ihre Papiere Bitte!!
FAIL

Profiling & Subjectivity

This could be interesting* if anything happens with it.

I'm pretty sure that I, as a white male, with long hair, biker jacket, and an mp3 player blasting out Rammstein, would be able to look at Islamic history, paying careful attention to the Crusade era, without a problem. Hell, I could easily say I was researching for Assassin's Creed.

If my Asian wife (not a Muslim, but was brought up as one) was to look at the same material, it might be considered "extremist", as the Islamic response to the Crusades of Western Christendom is often used as an analogy for current Jihadist behaviour - in effect, Islam responded with violence to the Western Christian coalition in the Crusades, and they're doing the same now. The only thing that's changed is the method. The Crusaders use smart missiles instead of Templars, and the Muslims use IEDs instead of light horse archers.

Either way, the material is either legal, or it is not (whether some material should be legal or not is another conversation entirely!). Jumping on people who have chosen to view legal material for no reason other than "they might be thinking bad thoughts whilst viewing it" is not acceptable. What I might consider perfectly reasonable theological or historical research, would be another person's "extremist propaganda".

What happens if I view extremist Christian material? It does exist, as can be seen with websites about god hating homosexuals, to cite only a single example.

I feel the need to grow my beard long and enter an internet cafe (if I can find one!) with greetings of "Salam, brothers" just to see what happens. Though I'm not sure if I'm brave enough to risk being locked away and never heard from again, as seems to happen with depressing regularity.

*: note that I mean "interesting" in a subjective sense.... "terrifying" is also applicable here.

Ihre Papiere Bitte!!

D'ya think that maybe....

the AC is being ironic? I can't believe that anyone who frequents the Reg would say that in seriousness!

Pre-election budget targets politics, not policy

Ihre Papiere Bitte!!
Thumb Down

Checklist:

*Congratulate Self on Sterling Job of Managing UK Economy: CHECK

*Raise taxes above inflation on (booze, fags, fuel) "for our own good": CHECK

*Say opposition is a bunch o'bastards and would be meaner: CHECK

*Congratulate Self Again: CHECK

Heathrow security man cops perv scanner eyeful

Ihre Papiere Bitte!!
Go

Why not "woman"

Because in some areas, "woman" has negative / derogatory connotations. "WOMAN! Where's my dinner??!!" (note: in my house, that would be followed by *THWACK* as my good lady expresses her displeasure...) - it can suggest subserviency. "Female" is objective, neutral. It's not something I would use in the examples you give, but it wasn't used in one originally.

"I stopped off to say hello to this girl / woman / lady I know." (personally known to me, more informal)

"Some woman / bitch was on telly last night talking about that." (depending upon what was being said. Note that I would use "Bastard", "Asshole" etc if it was a male presenter. More informal, because we tend to refer to people on the idiot-box more informally)

"I was on the crossing and this fucking idiot woman nearly ran me over." (understandable, I would suggest!)

**(Hey, I thought this was done, I just popped my head round the corner and found a linguistic debate about it.)**

Ihre Papiere Bitte!!

Yes they do (put kids thru, that is)

And it's fine. The Director said so. So no need to worry, then.

Ihre Papiere Bitte!!

Have a cuppatea.... and a biccie....

I wasn't supporting the position, just clarifying.

I used "the female in question" as a reference, because I don't know her name, and know nothing about her or the incident beyond the article. It's an objective reference, nothing judgmental about it. If I was being judgmental, I would have used a harsher phrasing.

Not everyone can up and leave their job. I didn't suggest that she should. Personally, I have done so in the past, and would do so again, but I don't apply my standards to everyone else.

No teeth in this one from me. Mildly amused to see The Sun screaming about it on their front page in the newsagent this morning, after they were one of the main "Something must be done!!!!!!" papers, but that's about it.

Ihre Papiere Bitte!!

@ Sarah

I think he's referring to the fact that the female in question was quite happy to use these machines on travellers, but started crying the moment she was snapped herself.

SA news outlet deploys sh*t London Olympics logo

Ihre Papiere Bitte!!
WTF?

One of the girls in my office

Sees a man with his hands on his hips and a whopping great erection.

(Obviously I told her that it wasn't THAT big, etc etc etc....)

Google redirects China to uncensored Hong Kong servers

Ihre Papiere Bitte!!
Unhappy

politicians of every stripe

"In a nut shell, old men hanging on to corruption via guns"

That ain't just communism my friend...

Germany warns surfers against Firefox

Ihre Papiere Bitte!!

Good & Basic advice, but...

How many of us run as admin, just because it's easier? I'm guilty of it more often than I should be, and I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one. I have an admin account and a user account, and when I install new shinies, I use the admin account - and will frequently surf whilst I do so, without really thinking much about it.

Yes, we should know better, but until it happens close to home, many of us* will personally do the very things we complain about the users doing.

(*yes, I know I'm opening myself up for criticism for saying this, and may get a mountain of "I NEVER do that!!" responses, but I do it, and know a bunch of other people all over the world in various aspects of the IT industry who do exactly the same.)

Brown creates one UK.gov website to rule them all

Ihre Papiere Bitte!!
Flame

Every time I hear THAT word.....

"Dashboard" - *shudder*

In principle, great idea.

Said by any sort of a manager (and Brown is the PHB^big number*), it's a frickin' nightmare.

*whereas "Call Me Dave" is the sort of manager who says his door is always open, and wants his staff to "think of him as their friend", organising "team building excercises" and the like. I almost want the LHC to open up a portal to a new dimension of invading aliens to spare us from the "choice".

Tiger Woods' alleged mistress publishes X-rated texts

Ihre Papiere Bitte!!
Thumb Up

A league table is a GREAT idea!!!

I suggest:

* NSFSW: Not Safe For Strict Workplaces (naughty words, maybe some text describing naughty things)

* NSFW: Not Safe For Work (something you would click off if the boss walked past)

* NSFW-R: Not Safe For Work - Really! (mild nudity / violence)

* NSFW-WRMI: Not Safe For Work - We REALLY Mean It! (stronger nudity / violence)

* NSFAWE: Not Safe For Any Work Ever (big boobies in ya face)

* DNCUAITS: Do Not Click Unless Alone In The Shed (tenuously-linked porn)

* IYCTYMBA: If You Click This You May Be Arrested (criticism of politicians / police)

"Envy us."

Obviously, I envy everyone in that office as they get to spend their days basking in the radiance of The Moderatrix's glory...

Dell order status website suffers second server meltdown

Ihre Papiere Bitte!!
IT Angle

Root Cause Analysis

It's because hundreds of Reg readers are checking their orders to see if they can get a refund on their bundled-in Windows OS...

(*pre-emptive snarky comment: yes, I know hundreds of Reg readers will lambast me for daring to suggest that they would order from Dell**)

(**pre-emptive snarky comment note: I think I spend too much time on Raymond Chen's blog!)

IT Angle? Can't see one. It is Dell after all.....!

'Racist' job ad sparks investigation

Ihre Papiere Bitte!!
Thumb Up

Re: Bill Gould - "Who wants to work in Quebec?"

"I still vote we swap the populations with Newfoundland and then blast the island free to float as they will."

As long as you get all the Screech* from Newfoundland first, that's just fine...

* The real stuff - not the namby-pamby stuff you find in liquor stores

Aussie smoko-proofing drug prevents ill effects of cigs

Ihre Papiere Bitte!!

@ Captain T, Yeh I know...

I worked at a mobile telecom during the 90's and early 00's, so saw a lot of the "evidence" that was being chucked about, and how it wouldn't satisfy a GCSE physics course, never mind anything else. But it's a populist belief, so I included it anyway. In retrospect, I wouldn't have.

Find & Replace:

* That you have never used a mobile phone that gives you brain tumours.

with

* That you have never used a mobile phone, eaten, had a drink, had a conversation, or conducted any activity aside from concentrating on the road, whilst driving.

Do ERP projects ever end?

Ihre Papiere Bitte!!

Cheers John

Yeah, we're (read: "I'm") currently in the cleansing stage at the moment. As a relatively small firm, especially with costs spiralling out of control for the core software (hmm, yeah, did we not mention it doesn't do that out of the box? I'm sure we can get something put together for you for a small consideration...." - they remind me of cowboy builders "you want DOORS, do you? Well, that's going to add...") an external firm to handle migration is a luxury we can't afford (and tnh, don't need. It's a PitA, but certainly not insurmountable).

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