* Posts by Jimboom

134 posts • joined 19 May 2009

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Spanish village mounts Playmobil extravaganza

Jimboom

I applaud their efforts

However, having been gifted playmobile sets in the past for my spawn I can say one thing... I hope they don't lose any of the building pieces (the plastic bits in between the buildings that stick them together)

And... that must have cost a small fortune for all those separate kits ... no wonder Spain is not in good shape financially!

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Brit-American hacker duo throws pwns on IoT BBQs, grills open admin

Jimboom

Re: Not a big problem

While I will grant you that there is still an ongoing debate about this, you will find that the reasons they tend to use Gassers are either because they are conscious of bush fires (their parks tend to have these instead of the charcoal kinds), or from a time aspect (ie, just want a quick meal, not having to go through the whole ceremony of the other kind of BBQ). Dan1980 is entitled to his opinion, however as a South African I can tell you that the gas BBQ is heresy in all the circles I run in and every Saffer I have ever met would never use a gas BBQ unless there was absolutely no other option available to them. Even an oven is preferable (a gas bbq is just an outside oven after all)

The only people I generally have met who use Gas systems are people who A. can't start a "proper" fire. (They are out there. Once watched someone try to start a fire for about an hour, and even tried cooking over the fire lighter itself, before eventually giving up and wheeling out the gas BBQ).

B. English people and Americans

C. People who have many kids and need a quick option for cooking or want something that even the wife could do

For me though, if you are going to do it, then do it right!

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Jimboom

Not a big problem

The only internet connected BBQ's that I could find online were gas BBQ's. And no self respecting Aussie would own one of these, let alone use it for cooking. Just doesn't taste the same as a good ol fashioned carbon-burning barbie.

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HPE's private London drinking club: Name that boozer

Jimboom

The Blade Bar

Screwdriver not included

The Beer and Switch

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Kids' tech skills go backwards thanks to tablets and smartmobes

Jimboom

I have a very simple rule from day 1

My son can have a computer when he can build his own one. He can have his own gaming console when he can beat both me and mum at oldschool bomberman, or Mariokart ( which a track of my choice).

I have had to more than once stop the in law from buying him a Crapple device even though I hear the same protests every time "Oh, but it helped his cousin with their studies".

But even more than that, tablet/phablet skills are not what is used in proper business! Unless he is going to go straight in at management level of course. But I would call that a personal defeat if he did and didn't know at least how to handle a BOFH.

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Dad who shot 'snooping vid drone' out of the sky is cleared of charges

Jimboom

"I feel a drone Kickstarter project coming on."

Anti-drone drones. I like it. Take my money good sir and make it so! At the very least you would get a good tv show out of it. Drone wars.

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TalkTalk attack: Lad, 15, cuffed by UK cyber-cops

Jimboom

Re: title

Funny, the way I read it this was meant to be some big Islamic state sponsored cyber terrorism hack based out of Russia from the site of a missile factory.

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WIN a 6TB Western Digital Black hard drive with El Reg

Jimboom

Ok. I have turned upside down and ensured the feet are resting flat... but I still don't see how this will help me change the battery!

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Woman makes app that lets people rate and review you, Yelp-style. Now SHE'S upset people are 'reviewing' her

Jimboom

Just a matter of time?

Before this is used by potential employers to screen candidates. And then one said candidate sues the company for discriminating?

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Boffins: We know what KILLED the DINOS – and it wasn't just an asteroid

Jimboom

pfff

Can we please stop wasting time discussing how the dinosaurs died out already and focus on the real matter of bringing them back to life already! I want my real Jurassic park!

Just think of the television show opportunities. Big BC brother where we see if the t-rex or the z list celebrities win the challenge and get to eat (the loser).

Or My big fat Cretaceous Wedding!

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BOFH: I'm not doing this for the benefit of your health, you know

Jimboom

Re: For the nice people across the pond

@Safety Dance

Argh! Stop making reference to it! It only makes it worse! I had a hard enough time getting it out of my head after watching the latest South Park episode. Although for the very fact Mr Garrison f**ks Donald trump to death, it was worth it.

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WIN a 6TB Western Digital Black hard drive with El Reg

Jimboom

SmartBra V.2 now comes with titty tasers that zap any males who stare at it for more than 3 seconds.

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Jimboom

Prepared to be turned on! Just not the way most techies would like given the nature of the device.

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Jimboom

Finally!

Hardware that if it goes Tits up means it is working perfectly!

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Why Nobody Should Ever Search The Ashley Madison Data

Jimboom

Re: Wrong recipient?

The line that made me chuckle was this

"But is it fair to selfishly deny a person sex? No. It is not, people have a right to have sex and if their spouses totally or somewhat-totally deny them that, they have every right to sleep with other people. "

So if I or my wife denied the other some nookie, if I or she felt that I was "selfishly denying" them sex, then that gave the other carte blanche to go play away?

Isn't times like those exactly what porn was made for anyway? Are these people saying that they are too good for porn?

All I took from this article really was that if you wanted to read the AM data then go find a torrent of it and download the whole thing yourself. Instead of being lazy and relying on someone else, out of the goodness of their own hearts and not for any malicious reasons honest guv, to put the data into a new UI for them.

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The Ashley Madison files – are people really this stupid?

Jimboom

Re: *grabs popcorn*

Well it was paid for account. And the address on the card was one owned by his family, which they regularly showed on that poor excuse for a tv show. Ok, perhaps not a smoking gun... but enough to say that it was little more than likely that this was him... plus, given his track record...

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Jimboom

*grabs popcorn*

I just find the whole thing rather amusing. And yes, I agree that if you signed up to this site then you had already commited the crime. B*tching about getting caught is just being childish. I realize however that without e-mail authentication it does make accurately pointing the finger at someone a bit tenuous at best.

However, it did make me laugh out loud to hear that Josh Duggar (of 19 and counting ... and other more scandalous fame) had a paid for account for Ashley Madison during the time of his marriage. So not only is he a hypocrite, anti-gay and a child molester but now he is potentially guilty of Adultery too.

This just gets better and better.

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Kaspersky: Freemasons coded fake malware in the Bermuda Triangle

Jimboom

Arghhh.. we are too late.. they have already infiltrated our Android and Mac products! Damn you rooting/jailbreaking!!

Our only hope now is to use Ubuntu phones and Linux rigs to start the campaign..... wait a sec.... does that linux rig have a pre-2011 Intel chip?!?! WE ARE DOOMED I TELL YOU, DOOOOOOOMMED!!

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Texas senator Ted Cruz serves up sizzling 'machine gun bacon'

Jimboom

Just what America needs to calm things down in the Middle East

A president who shoots bacon wrapped guns.

I am sure he will be a big hit with the Muslim voters

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HAM IN SPAAAAAACE! ISS astronaut contacted by Gloucestershire bloke in garden shed

Jimboom

Sounds like the original wife "you are spending too much time online" complaint

And I am sure the husbands excuse for not going out and doing something in the "real" world would be the same as any Mmorpg/Xbox/Online gamer. "But honey, I don't need to go out, I am actually playing/talking/interacting with REAL people all around the world!"

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Re/code apologizes for Holocaust 'joke' tweet

Jimboom

Re: There's plenty of good holocaust jokes

Here here! Have an upvote good Sir!

Fact is that offence can never be given, it can only ever be taken.

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Obsolescence of food is complete: Soylent now comes in bottles

Jimboom

Could be a world solution?

Sounds like the perfect food for Vegans/veggies. They can eat nothing but this stuff, which will then allow us to reduce the amount of vegetables we grow, thereby reducing carbon emissions from growing/transporting the stuff, also think of the water it would save, perfect for drought stricken areas.

Which would also give us meat eaters more room to be able to raise more piggies for bacon... sweet sweet bacon.

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The Breakfast (Table) of Champions: Micro Machines

Jimboom
Thumb Up

ahh, now that brings back memories

I was but a wee teen when I got this game on the PC. But I vividly remember the 2 player mode of this being played with me and a mate. And then on the schooldesk course, slamming him into the ruler. And on the off chance he didn't fall off I would stop and say "it's ok, I'll let you catch up" only to zoom away at the last second.

I think the closest I ever got to that same feeling was playing Mashed on the Xbox. But again, it was similar to Micro machines in that if you didn't know the course and what turns were coming up when, you were stuffed.

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Let kids delete their online rants, demand campaigners

Jimboom

Just because you delete something on the internet doesn't mean it is gone

Would said data be removed from any data that was previously slurped by NSA/marketing companies or indeed facebook's own backups?

Can't imagine they would.

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HP slaps dress code on R&D geeks: Bin that T-shirt, put on this tie

Jimboom

I gave in years ago

Many many moons ago I worked for a support desk that, up until they got bought up by a bigger company, had a very relaxed dress code. The clients didn't care that we dressed down and the fact we were largely phone based, and on the occasions we did have to go onsite had to often scramble under very dusty/dirty desks means we never wanted to wear any of our nice clothes.

Along comes corporate bigboys and brought in a non IT manager to manage us. I had many many meetings with said manager telling me to comply with the dress code before I finally gave in. Even then though it was only ever black trousers and collared shirt. I think I was the last holdout in said department.

The annoying bit for me was on the first day I gave in and wore black trousers the manager in question saw me coming in and gave me the "see, it wasn't so hard now was it" talk... which really irked me. I left shortly after.

Since then I just find it easier to wear trousers and collared shirts (since I brought the bloody things, I'll use them) , it seems to make higher ups listen to me a little more than my less well dressed colleagues. ... though as a small act of rebellion I never iron the shirts. Even still, I occasionally get comments from them about how well I dress.

Plus, nobody would ever guess if I went for an interview based off the way I dress. ;)

Never a tie though! Apart from the obvious noose reference those things are dangerous don't you know. Could get caught in a printer or fan or something.

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Mastercard facial recog-ware will unlock your money using SELFIES

Jimboom

ohh dear lord no

Please don't give people an excuse to call selfie sticks part of their "security procedure"... because you know they will.

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BILL GATES DRINKS 'boiled and treated' POO. Ah, 'delicious'

Jimboom

always thought

that he had a bit of a shit eating grin on his face

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Pirate MEP pranks Telegraph with holiday snap scaremongering

Jimboom
Trollface

why stop there

Make it so that if a person takes a picture of their dinner they have to pay an additional fee if they want to instagroan/farcebook it.

If someone appears in your picture you have uploaded they they have to pay you a royalty fee every time someone views it. "I'm sorry, I didn't agree to be in your photo, but if you are going to capture me on your holiday snap then you will need to pay for the privilege."

Hook it into facial recognition software and BOOM, photobombing becomes a legitimate career and maybe... just maybe, it could spell the end of peoples seemingly irresistible need to put every little moment of their life online to try get some of that attention that their parents never gave them.

I'll get me coat... it's the one with a college yearbook (the original facebook!) in the pocket

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Using leather in 'leccy cars is 'unTesla', rages vegan shareholder

Jimboom

Re: Errr...

Arghh!! My eyes... my eyes... I dared... oh why did I dare.

Did you read those Sea kitten bedtime stories?? Wow... just wow.

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Jimboom

Errr...

So what about the tyres that ALL cars use and use animal products in them? Which most tyres do i beleive. Don't hear him kicking up a stink about those.

I hope that when he goes to his farmers market for his monthly imported bat guano run that he always takes his own Hemp, reclaimed and recycled bag, because if he has ever used plastic bags... that uses animal products.

I hope that if he has ever marveled at a fireworks display in his entire life that he feels shame as they use stearic acid (which can come from animals).

In theory he should boycott Andy Worhol as he used to use casein (milk byproduct) based paint in his earlier work.

I hope Mrs Peters does not paint her fingernails and looks down on all woman who use nail polish... because guess what. That uses fish scales!! Won't someone think of the poor defenseless fish!!!

I could go on, but I am sure some vegan will come and give me "good" reasons why all of those are not nearly as bad as me using a animal product like leather that will greatly outlive it's plastic counterpart, instead of putting the welfare of those poor, enslaved, brutalized........ tender...... tasty.....succulent... delicious.. *errr. sorry, drifted off there* animals above mine.

I'll go get me coat... the leather one 'natch!

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Cops turn Download Festival into an ORWELLIAN SPY PARADISE

Jimboom

Re: Pretend hippies?

Ha ha. I was being pedantic/funny as you said that when you last went the attitude was that of the 1960's... but that was in 2000, which would mean that the attitude of those people are now that of the 1970/80's.... geez, just because you don't put a Joke alert on your comment....

As for the other comments. I wasn't caring about those. I say go with whatever festival you like. Personally I am more of a Creamfields/SW4 kind of guy. The kind where apart from them patting you down at the entrance they don't really seem to care as they know that people are there to enjoy the music... and some getting absolutely off their tits.

Been to the 02 wireless festival as well, but that was more of a festival lite. But Damien Marley was playing that particular time, so it was groovy tunes.

Reading/Leeds is a good fest too. Though, the toilets on that last day is not something you want to think about.

I have a few friends who have gone to Glaston, though most of them went years ago. All of the stories involved mud, most involved said friends being rather drunken/raucous.

I think though whatever your festival preference we can all agree that paying to go to something where you become the product.... not cool.

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Jimboom

Re: Pretend hippies?

Sorry, but ... with you going last in 2000 does that mean that the attitudes there are now what most of Britain was like in the 1970/80's? ;-)

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Microsoft's certification exams: So easy, a child of six could pass them. Literally

Jimboom

Re: There's the right answer, and the Microsoft answer

Ha ha. I recall many moons ago doing an Server 2003 course and he was trying to show us something with regards to Volume shadow copying, and he couldn't get something to work quite as it was showing in the book, and so being a room full of techies we soon found a different way to do the same thing. He said that "Oh, I can't seem to get it working, but If you intend on taking the MS exam then just remember how it says to do it in the book as any other answer will be counted as wrong, regardless of the fact that other way will actually work. "

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Rare monkeys stolen from French zoo – now even rarer

Jimboom

Isn't this

how 12 monkeys started?

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Apple Watch HATES tattoos: Inky pink sinks rinky-dink sensor

Jimboom

Re: Hardly a bug, is it...

-Remember your body is a temple.-

I couldn't agree more. We should never stop expanding our own limits! Some people say that 8 hours of sleep a night is enough.... I say why not 9... or 10. Strive for greatness!

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Panda antivirus labels itself as malware, then borks EVERYTHING

Jimboom

Who lives on the plain where it does rain?

Self-Destruction Panda!

Who explains viruses to you and me?

Self-Destruction Panda!

Don't click that, don't browse there..

Don't download unknown files says the silly bear!

He's come to tell you what's right and wrong..

Self-Destruction Panda!

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'Kickass' Somali pirates get their asses kicked by Japanese ass-kickers

Jimboom

And so the game of whack-a-mole continues

Seriously though, I can go to google, type in kickass proxy and find at least a handful of working, usable links. At what point do they step back, take a look at all the expense, time and effort it takes to block these sites, vs the cost of media delivery companies just giving people what they want, when they want it.

Iplayer and even 4oD allow you to download some programs to your device for offline viewing, I don't see why all tv cannot be like this for a nominal fee, something akin to ohh, I don't know, the tv license fee we all pay?

I'll get me coat, it's the one with that book written by Abbie Hoffman in the pocket.

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Avast there: MEELLIONS of Androiders scuttled by 'adware' game app

Jimboom

Does nobody take note of the permissions??

I am all for a free game as much as the next guy, but if the permissions seem over the top, then I refuse to install it.

People tend to forget that we did without these devices and being entertained every single second of every single day not so long ago. And we are no worse for wear for it. Some might even say we have better attention...... ohh look a butterfly....

Ahem. What was I saying.... oh yes.

So I refer back to the old saying. If something appears too good to be true ( a really good "free" game for instance), then it probably is.

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Bluetooth-enabled miracle washing orbs? Are you kidding?

Jimboom

To make claims like that

They must have some large balls.

I'll get me coat. It's the one with the bioceramic pins on it.

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RM has been schooled: Sales fell by over £69m in fiscal 2014

Jimboom

Re: Hardly surprising

I agree. Having worked in education sector I recall RM being the bane of most peoples existence.

I recall once that my manager asked me to see if we could offer a "replacement" for RM as one school requested us to investigate the option.

With a few simple domain policies I could pretty much replicate the restrictions side of RM software.

I remember when the Ranger software came out I was ever so hopeful that it would de-throne RM... but then they went ahead and brought it up never to have it heard from again. Perhaps if they didn't focus on scuttling the completion by buying it up and instead on making a decent, good value product, then they wouldn't be in this state... but that does not seem to be the RM way.

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Grand Theft Auto 1997: 'Sick, deluded and beneath contempt'

Jimboom

Re: Chinatown wars

They do it for Android as well you know.

And yes, I agree, well worth it. Have played it every day since purchasing it, even if it is to go in game, steal a car/ hit a cop car/or just cause general destruction and see how high I can make my wanted rating before getting killed or busted. Or, for a bit more of a laugh, see how high the wanted rating can get and then see if you can kill off enough cop cars to loose the rating all together!

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Jimboom

GOURANGA!

That is all

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Yes! It's DRONE PORN. And we don't mean shiny pics of UAVs

Jimboom

That is... actually from the new season of South Park (S18E05 to be precise), which having watched the Book of Mormon a few times, I think Trey Parker and Matt Stone exceeds Mighty Boosh in levels of wierd.

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Wetsuits, sunshine, bikini babes and a competitive streak: Epyx California Games

Jimboom

Ahhh, good times

I remember well this bit of software on my first PC. I didn't have a joystick and it made some games appear impossible to master when compared to my friend who did have a joystick. I still recall with frustration trying to pull tricks on the BMX and failing more often than not.

Kids these days will never know that kind of frustration of only having 1 or 2 games available to you at any time and therefore you having to master it or not play at all.

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We told you jailbreaking your iThing was dangerous

Jimboom

Re: Hilarious

I am sure that at least half of those clicks must be from annoyingly placed/popup adverts in kids games.

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Facebook: Want to stay in touch? Then it's Messenger or NOTHING

Jimboom

Over it now

When the messenger app came along and was forcing you to install it if you wanted to send messages I stuck with the older version of the farcebook app on my phone so that I could at least get onto the site and whatnot.

Since I changed phone about a month ago, I haven't even bothered re-installing/ revisiting farcebook. Don't think I will, heck, might even go all the way and delete the account as I hardly used it, apart from when I used to post pictures for relatives... on the app, which is a no-goer now.

So in fact, this move has lost you one user. Well played Zuk... well played.

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BT Broadband issue

Jimboom

BT Broadband issue

A large number of my sites today have lost internet connection across the board.

My ISP tell me that there is an issue nationwide that they are investigating. Looking on BT's website they say

"We're really sorry but we've got a major broadband problem impacting the UK, which means that some of our customers will be having trouble getting online. We're trying to fix the problem as quickly as we can.

Please revisit this page for further updates. "

Anyone got any idea what is actuallly going on with this?

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The cute things they say

Jimboom

One from the other side of support

Once, many many moons ago I used to work for a computer company that thankfully went bankrupt.

One such tale that stuck with me was a call answered by one of the senior techies that we all listened in on.

Lady: *crying* It's not working!!!! I don't know what I have done

Tech: I'm sorry ma'am. If you calm down and explain it to me then I can help you

Lady: But it is not working, I don't know why it isn't working

This back and forth went on for a few minutes, eventually he got her to calm down and stop crying.

Tech: Ok ma'am, can you please tell me what the problem is.

Lady: It's not talking to me!

Tech: Huh? You mean it is not making any noises? Perhaps it is the sound card. I can tell you what cables to check to make sure the sound card is working.

Lady: It's not talking to me!! Why is it not talking to me?!

Tech: *Goes through the checks regardless, confirms the sound card is working* I am sorry to sound dim here, but what exactly is it that should be talking to you?

Lady: The computer... it should be talking to me. I saw it on that TV show ( I think she said it was Star trek, but honestly we were laughing too hard at this point to hear the whole conversation).

Lady: Is someone laughing at me??

Tech: Oh no, sorry, someone just told a funny joke on the next desk over.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

They used to make us techies jump on customer support if they were lacking staff members or if their call queue's were too high.

Not specifically IT related, but just to give you an example on how daft some users are.

Me: Welcome to **** customer support, how can I help you?

Very Irate person: I am not happy. I want to speak with your manager.... NOW!!!

Me: Well sir, I would be happy to assist you if you just tell me what the problem is

VIP: No. I don't want to be fobbed off again, I called you guys up the other day and someone there told me to go to the shop. I took the day off to go to your shop and they told me that they could not help me and to call you. I called you again and they sent me out the wrong thing! I don't want to have to explain myself yet again!!

Me: Well sir look. I can't get a manager on the phone if I can't even tell them what the problem is.

VIP: *huffs loudly* FINE.... well, I went to your shop and ordered the premium package.. and I am not happy because I didn't get everything.

Me: Ok Sir, well that sounds simple enough, if you tell me what software package it is you are missing and I will send it out to you.

VIP: *getting audiably more irate by the minute* WELL, if it is so simple then how is it you people have managed to screw me around so much?!?!

Me: I am sorry sir. I meant no offence. If you just calm down and tell me what it is you are missing I can see what I can do to help you.

VIP: Well, when I went to the shop and they showed me what the premium package was, it came with all these bits of software.

Me: Ok, so which bit of software is it that you are missing?

VIP: NO! I never said I was missing any software! Thats what I told the first guy I spoke with and they just sent me the same disc's I already have

Me: Umm.... ok. So what it is that you are missing Sir?

VIP: When I went to the store and they showed me the computer, the cd's came in a little cardboard box... I paid for it, so I want that box!

Me: Ok sir, let me put you on hold...... *goes to find the nearest wall to slam my head into*

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Jimboom

When supporting a school many years ago

The scene is that at the time I was talking with a primary school teacher who said the particular educational software I supported was not working.

Me: Ok, we need to go check the internet proxy settings to make sure that nothing has changed.

Teacher: Uhh, ok,.

Me: Can you right click the mouse on Internet Explorer

Teacher:.......

Me: Thats the big blue icon

Teacher: Umm... sorry, I don't know what you mean. I don't have a mouse

Me: Oookkaaayyy.... Can you look at the back of the computer, look for the purple and green connectors, is there something plugged in there?

Teacher: *sounds of scrambling under desk*... oh yes... there is something plugged into that

Me: Ok, follow that cable, it should go to your mouse

Teacher: Oh that... no, we have a ladybug, not this mouse thingy you are talking about

Me: Right.. so you have a mouse in the shape of a ladybug.

Teacher: If you say so.

Me: Ok, can you right click the mouse on the big blue icon

Teacher: You mean the ladybug?

Me: Hnnnnnngggghhhhhhhh

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Psst. We've got 400Gb/s Ethernet working - but don't tell anyone

Jimboom

Reg's standard for this?

So do we start measuring the network speeds in how fast porn is transmitted, eg: FPS (Faps per second)

Or perhaps it is Giggidybits we should be measuring it in?

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