* Posts by Alistair Dabbs

499 posts • joined 19 May 2009

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You have a 'SIMPLE QUESTION'? Well, the answer is NO

Alistair Dabbs
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Re: Apple doesn't change connectors often. That is not the problem.

Already I see you need an adapter to change "Dobbs" into "Dabbs".

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Real Ale TWATS: In SPAAAACE, no one can churn your cream

Alistair Dabbs
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Re: says:

I for one have been a regular customer of the various toilets at Westminster Palace in recent years. Those near the Lobby and event dining areas were refurbished a couple of years ago. They have Air Blades to dry your hands, which is nice.

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Alistair Dabbs
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Re: Stuff the beer!

We have gone vegetarian at home but I thought a small piece of pork pie would be OK. Then I thought I might try one of each *type* (there were several), then soon lost count of how many wedges of pork pie I managed to stuff into my face over the course of the evening.

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Alistair Dabbs
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Re: Some random observations

All Reg readers *were* invited - via a public post right here on the site. I didn't get a special heads-up about the event. I read it here and paid my £10 like everyone else who attended.

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Alistair Dabbs
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Re: Nomenclature

I have used a shovel as a spade with some success. Although it is quite difficult, it works OK if the earth is soft. I wouldn't bother using a spade in place of a shovel because it would be hopeless: it would be quicker using your hands.

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Alistair Dabbs
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Headline

If anyone can explain the references to cream churning and cigarettes in the headline, please let me know.

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A nation of CODERS? Yes, says UK.gov, and have some cash to do it

Alistair Dabbs
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And the student loan?

The bursary is nice but do they still have to pay for their tuition fees?

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How HAPPY am I on a scale of 1 to 10? Where do I click PISSED OFF?

Alistair Dabbs
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Re: Really?

I can't seem to find a train from London to Amsterdam. Perhaps they're booked up.

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Alistair Dabbs
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Re: Reflexology with a happy ending?

No, it's like goldy or bronzey but made of iron. © Baldrick

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Alistair Dabbs
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Re: Reflexology with a happy ending?

>> Why was El Reg pushing a pop-up survey in my face

We like irony.

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Alistair Dabbs
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Re: How to deal with airport "security"

Yup, it worked for Edward Fox in Day of the Jackal.

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Go festive this year with Christmas carols, baby Jesus and CLITORAL STIMULATORS

Alistair Dabbs
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Re: NTNOCN FTW...

Well done, Jambo. I was thinking about this precise sketch while writing those words. I used to own the LP.

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Alistair Dabbs
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Re: As you're a journalist I'm surprised your first port of call wasn't Wikipedia

That doesn't make sense. Journalists are not allowed to use Wikipedia, unless they can come up with the same information on at least two correlating sites that themselves haven't just been copied off Wikipedia too. In fact, if it's on Wikipedia, the information is immediately suspect.

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Alistair Dabbs
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desperate people

It has nothing to do with poverty. Genuinely poor and homeless people will queue at a soup trailer and await their turn for food parcels. But it's not greed, either. It's that they've been fooled into thinking consumerism is an end in itself. They all own TVs already but the dual thought that (1) they can buy a new TV at a discount and (2) there is a limited number of these discounted TVs sends the consumerist into an acquisition frenzy. Even if they are lucky and get one of the bargain TVs, they'll soon find it's an old or unpopular stock-clearance model and will be lucky to get their money back even by selling it on eBay.

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Alistair Dabbs
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Durex TV ad

The 'dual screen' Duex TV ad is on YouTube here: http://youtu.be/yWu3Z30LEjM

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Alistair Dabbs
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Black Friday

So what's Blue Monday?

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Syrian Electronic Army in news site 'hack' POP-UP MAYHEM

Alistair Dabbs
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Al Jazeera Hackathon

http://canvas.aljazeera.com

I think we already have a winner.

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ASA raps 'F*CK YOU GOOGLE' vlogger + chums over VIDEO LICKFEST

Alistair Dabbs
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Keyword repetition as a form of advertising

Does this mean LittleKuriboh has been selling vaginas?

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I need a password to BRAKE? What? No! STOP! Aaaargh!

Alistair Dabbs
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Re: You're kidding, right?

Cars only have two components that matter: comfy seats and a good hifi. I know I'm bizarre but a metal bracket in the door handle that allegedly breaks after a few years does not even make my top ten.

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Alistair Dabbs
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Re: Stereotypes

>> I'm sure Mr Dabbs could write a whole book on French driving attitude

What strikes me most of all about French motorists is the lack of any awareness of the concept and purpose of maintaining the flow of traffic. No-one under any circumstances whatsoever will ever "let you in" or flash their headlights to allow you to go first, even if doing so would ultimately speed up everyone's journey including their own.

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Alistair Dabbs
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Re: Re. Voice control

No doubt you've all seen this: two Scotsmen in a voice-activated lift... http://youtu.be/sAz_UvnUeuU

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Alistair Dabbs
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Re: Misattribution

Normal byline service has been resumed. Thank you.

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Alistair Dabbs
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Re: windscreen wipers?

>> Why even have windows?

The first London Underground trains didn't have window panes for this reason. It was felt that since there was nothing to look at while passengers were in a tunnel, and given that in those days there were guards and porters to help people on and off at each station, windows were unnecessary. Go to the London Transport Museum and sit in one: it's like being locked inside a communal wooden coffin. Nor do you experience any relief when arriving at a station. Passengers hated it.

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Alistair Dabbs
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Re: Negative view on Sat nav

In the UK, Garmin sells a one-off Lifetime Update so you don't have to buy a subscription, although it's limited to the device you buy it for.

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Alistair Dabbs
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Re: Sorry

Unfortunately, having driven his SUV into the field, he's probably blaming *you* for the incident.

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Alistair Dabbs
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Re: Agree about BMW drivers.

Wow, is Subaru a real car? I thought they only existed in WRC.

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Alistair Dabbs
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Which word was that?

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Alistair Dabbs
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Re: Stereotypes

All French drivers *are* bad, except for my wife and brother-in-law.

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Alistair Dabbs
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Re: Sorry

I've driven plenty of Citroens, from the classic DS to the iconic 2CV to the modern C models and Picasso. Comfy cars but the dashboard layout was designed by a lunatic.

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Alistair Dabbs
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Re: Yep

I don't know who Kelly Fiveash is but she's a damn fine writer.

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Alistair Dabbs
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Re: Had a drive home from hell? Grab a glass of your favourite and listen to this:

The next time someone posts a link to some Country and Western music, could they please mark it up as Not Suitable For Ears? Thanks.

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It’s PAYBACK time as HUMANS send a PROBE up ALIEN body

Alistair Dabbs
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Re: Catford calling...

Bromley replying: already here, pal.

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The Pirate Bay co-founder exits jail, now, er, free to eat vegan food

Alistair Dabbs
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Jailbird politicians

I'm impressed that these pirates chose to do their time behind bars before going into politics. Normally, politicians do it the other way around.

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Got a STRAP-ON? Remember to TAKE IT OFF at WORK

Alistair Dabbs
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Re: I've said it before

You'd think so but product acceptance doesn't work that way. Lots of good new ideas struggle because consumers are worried that (1) they are a short-term fad that won't be supported for long, (2) buyers will look stupid for buying something no-one else has, and (3) lack of competition keeps them expensive. Back in the 80s it was understood that there was no market for men's magazines, and in the 90s Oki bust a gut trying to interest anyone in multi-function printer/scanners.

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Alistair Dabbs
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Re: "Da yoof" buy plenty of watches, and old duffers like us...

Indeed. http://goo.gl/aB3Umw

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Alistair Dabbs
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Re: Aliatair Dabbs Try looking at the real world ...

This would work except that I destroy watches in all situations. The most common are knocking it against doorknobs and smashing/scraping it against brick walls. Why I seem to hang around doors and brick walls with arms flailing is beyond me. Perhaps I should live in a Japanese house like Larry or get my house refurbed by a Trekkie.

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Alistair Dabbs
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Re: re. Rampant Rabbi, etc.

I think a Rampant Rabbi ensures you don't have any angry birds. Ahem.

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Alistair Dabbs
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Re: Tut

And I do it in public every Saturday morning.

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Alistair Dabbs
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Re: Try looking at the real world ...

I also used to break my watches easily. Everything changed when I bought a G-Shock. It is still working 3 years on.

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Me GIVE you $14 SQUILLION gadziddly-DILLION

Alistair Dabbs
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Re: My Dear Mr. Dabbs,

Most Nigerians do not run email scams. A lot of email scams have originated from Nigeria. The stereotype characterises the latter rather than makes any claim to deny the former.

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SKYPE has the HOTS for my NAKED WIFE

Alistair Dabbs
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Re: Thanks for the NSFW warning on the 'turned it on' link

I'm part of The Reg's "Weekend Edition" now, pal. If you happen to be at work at 8am on Saturday, I can't help you.

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Alistair Dabbs
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Re: Hmmm.....

I imagine Skype must have the pics.

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Alistair Dabbs
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I have a plaster stuck over my webcam

That's just a sticking plaster solution, though.

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Alistair Dabbs
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Re: MS are making Skype unusuable

Sure, why allow the American security services to read all your Skype conversations when you can let the Chinese authorities do it instead?

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Sign off my IT project or I’ll PHONE your MUM

Alistair Dabbs
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Re: Small company similar issue

AND when they got home, they'd be in Sunderland.

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Alistair Dabbs
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Re: Small company similar issue

>>Awesome article, Yours are some of the best that I read on the reg.

You're all very flattering this weekend. Whatever happened to the "I want The Reg to refund the lost 10 minutes of my life reading that crap" brigade?

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Alistair Dabbs
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Re: The right question is not if you should call her mom

Why should I call her mom? She's not my mom.

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Alistair Dabbs
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>> Now, who was this musical entertainer?

His name is given in the main text of this week's column but you might have to work it out. Do you know what an 'acrostic' is?

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Take CTRL! Shallow minds ponder the DEEP spectre of DARK CACHE

Alistair Dabbs
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Re: CTRL-C

OK, next time I walk into a room of users, I will ask for a show of hands:

- who needs to copy and paste text?

and

- who needs to suspend or abort a run?

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Alistair Dabbs
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Re: De Bios, she is incompatible..

I am intrigued. In what language would 'BIOS' be a feminine noun?

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