295 posts • joined 19 May 2009
Maplins vs Ikea
I'm getting a 'Maplins is like IKEA' vibe from a lot of these comments. I wonder whether Maplins would consider installing a ball pond at the entrance... but then I can't ever recall seeing a child in a Maplins, nor indeed a woman making a purchase.
You remember when I said I already had a perfectly good supplier?
.... and, at last, I have just the floor for it.
Re: It's the reviews, not the tech, that matters
Not sure that three stars counts as a glowing review. From a reviewer's perspective, there exist products that don't work properly or are poorly implemented or break down easily. It stands to reason, then, that if a product actually works, it merits more than one or two stars.
Jeez, go read something else, then. A book teaching punctuation might be an idea.
Re: Good article
Reput isn't breaking any law. In fact, I believe Reput honestly expects the app to be used responsibly. I just happen to think they are mistaken. As soon as one user conveys an opinion to another about a third party's perceived reputation, a libel is all but guaranteed to take place. When the UK construction industry was found to be sharing opinionated and unchallenged reputation data about potential employees, there was a scandal. Reput, however, reckons users will only say nice things about other people.
Prime one-day delivery? Ha!
I paid for Amazon's Prime service for a year and most of my orders arrived after 2-3 days. Many took up to 5 days. One delivery of an in-stock item took nearly two weeks to arrive with Prime. When I complained, I was ignored.
I wonder if this means it'll now take two weeks to stream a movie...
Re: My best spam
I do have one item of Korean spam that appears to be selling electronic tampons but that's just silly so I'm probably wrong and thought I'd better not include it here.
Re: Those Sun Pillows look brilliant!
I can't forward any of the original emails: they were deleted long ago. Not even I would archive spam for ten years. They exist only as the screengrabs you see in the article.
Can't help you, I'm afraid, at least not yet. The best I can offer is a photo of the offending item: http://pic.twitter.com/PEVO3CbuGh
It's about four feet high. I would dearly love to use it as a drinks cabinet. But until I get the right to open it, it remains a large piece of junk that occupies space I'd like to use for something else... such as a drinks cabinet.
Re: Faster to do it by hand
Speed has nothing to do with it. Trying to negotiate 280x390mm pages on a blurry, shimmering 16in display running at 1152x864 or migraine-hammering 1280x960 running at what appeared to be 1Hz was no fun at all.
Re: Don't know it?
Most tabloids are not dailies.
I have learnt that the boss bought the sack of gas masks in the wake of the 7/7 bombings in London. Remember the bus on Hackney Road that didn't explode? That was just outside the office.
Unfortunately, I have also learnt that the gas masks were a job lot from that dodgy supplier rejected by the Israeli military, i.e. they probably don't work.
Re: I did not read the article
why are you such a whiny little bitch?
<sigh> It's supposed to give you a gentle titter on a Friday afternoon. I write one of these every week. No big deal really.
Re: Bit disappointed.
Surely you're *very* disappointed. I know I would be.
I've seen a lot of DPD vans around. This makes the Dabbsies giggle because of a puerile pun in French. 'DPD' in English sounds like 'dee-pee-dee' but in French it is pronounced 'day-pay-day', which sounds like 'des pédés', which is an old-fashioned and derogatory way of referring to gay men.
Not that we laugh at gay men. But it is funny when my wife looks out the window and appears to be telling me that there are some gays at the door: "Il y a DPD à la porte."
Re: GPO snoops
Does the landing card for non-EU passport holders still ask if you have ever been involved in "genocide"?
>> What is he the rest of the time?
This is a local shop, remember. This means the Post Office is closed for most of the time. When it *is* open, the queue runs from the counter right through the shop and out the door. Makes you wonder why they keep closing them down.
Not sure about paying for a courier. Given that my eBay item will have sold for £1.50, no-one will want to pay £10 for it to get lost *professionally*.
Re: GPO snoops
Restricted list? So the idea is that if I'm a terrorist and put a bomb in the parcel, I'll get caught out when the Post Office bloke asks me what I put in the parcel?
Hmm, I wonder if there's any way for someone to circumvent this devious terrorism prevention measure...
Re: Running scared - but not able to hide
I don't like LinkedIn's way of amalgamating all of one's email addresses into its account simply because someone tries to add you to their network using the wrong email. I keep my domestic email strictly personal and separate from work, as I do with Facebook. The last thing I need is for my exchanges with my daughter studying in Amsterdam to be interspersed with blathering from irate readers and PRs.
>> English apparently has at least 3 sounds for ch
I tried all three just now and had to clean my screen with a wet wipe.
Re: Why does everyone have so many
Fair question. I receive scores of press releases and beta forum posts every day. It helps to keep them clear of my main email while I'm mobile
Re: One per company dealt with
Of course, it could be that your remaining 134 addresses are being spoofed to send junk to the rest of us.
Re: The history of earth according to computer games...
The Dabbsies were also surprised - nay, amazed - to see Parappa mentioned in the programme, let alone praised to the skies. The kids adored Parappa when they were smaller (now aged 21 and 17, they actually played Parappa 2 for a laugh last week - pure coincidence) but we had no idea that anyone outside Japan, other than cultists, had heard of it.
I could be wrong but I wonder if its inclusion in CB's history had anything to do with Labrinth trying to get him to play a bit of one of his videos.
Re: Take solace Mr Dabbs...
My maths may be a bit off but Charlie Brooker is a man and so am I, so that makes two men, not forty something men.
>> the level of irony
So, when he criticised the murder-porn (literal) cut scene in the latest Mortal Kombat, slicing a woman in half lengthways with a circular saw... he was just being "ironic" then as well? I hope not.
>> Mr Dabbs, do I spot a little bit of green eyed monster?!
Sorry about that. I have been having trouble with my zip.
Re: Folding money?
I choose Mail Online because, indirectly, they are one of my clients. As The Register's motto goes, "Biting the hand that feeds..."
Re: A lie on a lie
If the dollar crashed, the US economy would go tits up too and there's a chance it could take much of the Internet with it. So your Bitcoins would be temporarily useless until someone rebuilt Western civilisation so that there'd be enough connected computers to start allowing transactions again.
Re: Just as Humorous but more informative
Humorous, informative and behind a paywall.
Re: The real message here
Surely 'Tribute' is telling a story.
Rabbit season, duck season
I'm not sure about this. France has a vibrant hunting scene and during the season, they'll shoot everything that moves, even in their back gardens, sometimes (by accident) their own dogs or indeed each other. Surely a drone is going to get hit eventually, purely by chance.
Re: The water closet doesn't get enough development
Funny we should be talking about the IEEE and smart toilets...
I like the university vibe at IEEE. Everyone is either a student or a professor. Besides, the IET would deem me unqualified.
Re: They might have some advanced capabilities
Yes, I was fretting when I didn't see the column at noon. I emailed my editor twice to ask if it had been spiked (it would not be the first time).
>> If your business is network based why do you need to be in London in the first place?
Everyone asks this. In the kind of science fiction bollox that only CEOs, politicians and other people of limited intelligence believe, networked people can work from anywhere.
What happens in real life is that distance-workers don't work at all - they just goof off and watch daytime TV.
Bright minds need a place to meet up, spark ideas and get stuff done - not necessarily 8 hours every day but often - and it has to be somewhere mutual that isn't a noisy Starbucks with bad music and sticky tables.
Re: If only more customers had clue
>> Problem with the DIY approach is Mr Dabbs would then have to figure out how to resell and manage 80+ medja companies contending a 1G EAD.
Not at all. We have a freeholder's management company with an extremely switched-on facilities manager. He's sent white papers to Parliament, lobbied everyone who'll listen and put the contracts out to tender. I'm just a tenant.
Re: Manuals and other stupidities
I'm ashamed to admit that I have a big problem understanding thick accents at short notice.
Some time back, a software developer was so keen that I help with their alpha testing that they scheduled me in for weekly teleconferences with their developers in India. I did not understand a word during these phone calls. After saying "I'm sorry, could you repeat that?" and "Apologies, I didn't quite catch that" about 20 times, you come across as an idiot. I ended up feigning illness and suchlike simply to avoid that weekly teleconference, like a schoolboy trying to get out of Latin tests.
>> Users can't be bothered with learning how things work
Now, you say this, but there is a successful and lucrative industry in publishing 'missing manual' type books. They still sell quite well and software publishers are generally very happy for you to write them, even though they earn nothing from them.
Re: You think you're having a bad time...
I worked on a three-year in-house training project for bespoke, undocumented software. We did a few tip-sheets for users but the system was so very complex that I wrote a mini manual in my own time to help the trainers. This was later made available to users, but by then it was out of date. I persuaded the project leader to let me write up proper documentation, and I began working on a proper hyperlinked manual in FrameMaker (so we could export to HTML and PDF from the same source files) but the project was wound up a few weeks later and I had to leave everything unfinished.
Another three years later, the software still hasn't been properly documented. If you choose Help or hit F1, nothing happens.
What, that 'open source' system that's dependent on Microsoft's Windows Server platform? Hmm.
Re: "pharcical phucking phanboi phondleslab"
Re: for the illiterate, by the uninterested
So what do you say now? 'Aimlessly Research Some Explanation - Web Internet Promises Everything'?
Re: Video tutorials
They say developers can't write. Unfortunately, it's also true that IT trainers (who are responsible for most of these video tutorials) can't speak.
And it's especially fun when, having highlighted in red a problem with your registration, it empties all the form fields and resets all the options to their default so you have to start all over again.
>>> have a pint
Thanks, Barry, I might do that.
Re: What's wrong with this picture....
It's a magazine publishing company. The inkjet is for page proofs. Everything else goes to the cheap Brother duplex laser.
>> Any reason you didn't get a colour laser for 500 quid instead?
Apologies, I mistyped. It's an A3 proofer, not an A4. If I could buy an A3 colour laser capable of producing prepress-class proofs but only cost £500, I would have bought it.
>> There was NO jam. EVER.
Suspension of disbelief ended right there. Printer jams happen, and I remember them being much worse and more frequent 20 years ago.
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