388 posts • joined 19 May 2009
Germany? I thought it was Japan
Perhaps I need to dig out the book again. I could have sworn the story concentrates on Japanese (not German) occupiers on the West Coast, and the occupation wasn't particularly fascist or military - it just satirised the post-war American in-all-but-name occupation of Japan. The bit with the liberal-minded Japanese visiting a shop and trying to be really nice sticks in my mind. Heck, maybe it was a different book...
Re: What's wrong with Turkey?
I have to agree, I've never met a Turk who I didn't like. But then I've never met their politicians.
Re: "Has anyone put anything in your luggage without your knowledge?"
>> those twin towers are costing me hours per trip fannying around
Strictly speaking, the most annoying fannying is the direct result of Richard Read, a Briton, and his matchstick soles and lack of braincells. Don't blame the Americans.
Re: We know, you know.
>> The police rarely ask questions they don't already know the answers to
How would they like it if I walked up to a policeman while holding a big watch and asked the time?
Re: What wonderful City?
The incident was in Lexington. I'd like to try the West Coast, if only to see if people really do live in funny mock castles like I saw on Columbo in the 70s.
Re: Don't generalize
My one trip to Boston was thoroughly enjoyable, especially sitting in a bar watching the Patriots romp home to a big win while being amazed how easy it was to speak to people without starting a fight.
I've tried this gag picturing computer-literate teenagers as being dressed in Armani suits, smelling of CK and driving Lamborghinis but readers have trouble believing it.
Re: Dabbsy, Don't Leave
Great, I'll book a venue for standup at BDF14.
>> I assume this is/was our beloved Dabbsy
T'was me. I was delighted to see this tweeted to me from Dave Green this morning. NTK made good reading and I looked forward to it every week... now no longer with us. Falco!
Re: @Milen (was: nothing but pure fancy)
By "code", I meant tapping a sequence of buttons on your game controller or a sequence of keys on your keyboard to unlock an Easter Egg.
Re: nothing but pure fancy
It has to be done with "a click" of "a button", remember. No keyboard work or browser setup. Just go to Instagram and click on a button.
My flatmate used to play this...
... when we were Uni students in the mid-1980s. I never understood the bloody thing but I guess he had more patience. He's now a financial director somewhere earning shitloads. So at least I got the last laugh... no, hang on, that's not right, is it?
Re: Google Potatohead+
Must get some of those Google Guttocks.
For my next trick, I will count to ten while drinking a glass of water.
Re: Photos photos
>> superimpose images of the Laughing Man
I thought what I'd do was, I'd pretend I was one of those deaf-mutes.
Anyone else think this reads like one of those Armstrong & Miller sketches? "It might seem funny but it happened to a friend of mine."
>> being on Youtube within the hour
Paranoia informs me that the Glass wearer is, as you suggest, merely an agent. It's Google that determines what to do with the content being collected on its behalf by these agents.
Re: Regarding the terminology problems...
Of course, the term "floppy disc" is an open invitation for you to flop it about vigorously to find out *how* floppy it is. At least, that was the case when I was at school. The very name compels you to test it out. Like "bulletproof glass".
I find that a lot of people have difficulty keeping the mouse still while double-clicking icons on a desktop. In effect, they are clicking, dragging and dropping by a few pixels, and clicking again. When the person under 60, I show them a keyboard shortcut (e.g. click once on the icon and tap the Return key) but for some reason older people enjoy the additional thrill of using the mouse two-handed: one hand to hold the mouse still and other other to do the double-click.
>> this is your first column that physically hurt me
Physically? The monitor fell over while you were reading and hit you on the head?
>> while it was switched off
I had him try some of the other computers in the same room. Two of them were 'not connected' and three others were OK. We used the ones that were OK to fiddle around with the router. Of course, all this explanation is very boring to read so I didn't write it up in the column.
My mum's TV
Actually I'm on my way up to Leeds to sort out my mum's TV. She says she can't get Sky any more, even though a Sky engineer set it up for her this week. When I asked if her TV was working OK, she said she'd pulled all the power cables out the back. I suppose that's why she can't get Sky.
Re: Good practice
It's a long story.
Re: "It’s not fit for purpose"
No, I didn't say any of those things. But wouldn't I have looked smart if I had?
Re: Does my budget look big in this
>> here I am stuck in the office commenting on your comment so who am I to judge
That's both of our Friday afternoons wasted. I won't tell anyone if you don't.
Re: Familiar story
>> That is because contractors tend to breeze in and give recommendations ignoring half of the spec, constraints and budget, then proceed to sit back...<<
I fear you may be confusing contractors with consultants.
Re: I have instructed my lawyers Mr Dabbs
Sorry, I didn't realise you did stand-up. Are you sysadmin for The Comedy Store?
Re: Does my budget look big in this
I completely forgot to congratulate the clever fellow this week who signed up to Twitter and LinkedIn as "Hank Waggenburger III" complete with public profile apparently for the sole purpose of inviting me to join his networks.
Also props to the very real "Mr N Waggenburger" who also took the trouble to invite me.
Re: Back in my past
Heh. Reminds me when one of the shouty bosses was visited by HIS American bosses one summer and I was asked to prepare some teas, coffees and "a water". No-one had asked for plain water before. The water cooler's cooler hadn't worked since long before I started there, so I duly served up a plastic cup of warm water, which she impressively spat out on the meeting room floor.
Cue a bit of admonishing etc from the shouty man... then, when no-one else was looking, he sidled up, whispered an apology, thrust some cash in my hands and asked me to nip down the newsagent and buy a bottle of chilled Evian. Sorted.
Bloody hell, you scared me for a moment, there. There are people who read my column who recognise who I'm talking about. I just hope it never gets read by people who recognise themselves.
Re: Swirling JDs??
Agree about the English Whisky Company. Tried some at a London and Partners event, and it was very nice.
Re: Swirling JDs??
I've had a bit of a Scotch overdose over the past year. I'm now sampling the watered-down stuff from the US and Ireland that doesn't give me heartburn.
Re: Good article
Given my modest height, I suppose I could be a Will Self mini-me.
Re: It's a proper Friday now..
It was a "proper Friday" last Friday too but not many readers noticed. Thank you for hanging in there while I languished in bed.
I was dreading having to compensate everyone for their lost time in being forced, yes FORCED, to read my old copy a second time AND for making them write a new comment.
I can't begin to describe the tsunami of invitations piling into my LinkedIn account today...
Re: The real question is...
Why, wanna be my Plus-One?
Re: Can I get some clarification here?
That's correct. You understand it perfectly.
Re: Are you..
Bless you for the suggestion, Zog but I would have been a tweenager at the time.
Re: Can I just check
I'm thinking El Reg may as well just keep reposting this specific column and let everyone get on with it. It would be cheaper than asking me to write a new one every week.
Re: >> I always wanted to be Mr Tickle
>> Friday Note to El-Reg Footer Writers: Go to the pub. even the f**king writers don't read your sh1t!
Not true. Not only do I read that sh1t, I write that sh1t myself.
>> I always wanted to be Mr Tickle
Is that a pertinent comment or a quote from the Rolf Harris trial?
Re: Happened to me with Vodafone
In this most recent instance, they had a record of the specific shop that the mobile handsets had been picked up from, along with the date, my address and an unusual variation on my full name. The customer services man was polite and reassuring that I had nothing to worry about but also very firm in refusing to provide me with any more details about what had happened.
>> Is that a deliberate error?
Oh how I wish my errors were deliberate.
Re: I will probably be torched as a heretic, but here goes...
Well argued, Mr Pants. My point, clumsily made, was that if the model cannot be reliably enabled, this itself invalidates the model. A model that's perfect in theory only is no good to me.
Re: Clouds are so last week
I don't feel nearly as cynical about the IoT. In fact I find the potential quite exciting. I'm also sold on cloud and SaaS ... but that's no reason why I shouldn't shout out when they go wrong.
Re: Hang on a minute
>> the simplest form of journalism
That's the kind I like!
Twaddle, OK, fair comment. But all the points you raise were tackled in the story.
>>If you were to say that there can be a fundamental problem with SaaS implementations that tie functionality requiring no online component, to the need for an online connection then I'm with you
I see you've never had to write a punchy, provocative headline before.
Re: "Cloud computing is shite."
Absolutely agree. Terrible piece of journalism. I think you should complain.
Re: A storm in a tea cup
Jan, not all of Adobe's CC products are installed on your machine. Some of them really are cloud-only and really have been utterly unavailable during this outage. Some of these are mission-critical, core business apps, not just graphics packages.
Re: Why not have a short grace period for licenses?
Grace period is not relevant. Some of Adobe's services are strictly cloud-based, such as Adobe DPS. This means no DPS-based iPad and Android editions of magazines or newspapers can be being published at the moment - hugely expensive for some, a financial disaster for others. Some national newspapers were unable to publish this morning.
- Just TWO climate committee MPs contradict IPCC: The two with SCIENCE degrees
- 14 antivirus apps found to have security problems
- Feature Scotland's BIG question: Will independence cost me my broadband?
- Apple winks at parents: C'mon, get your kid a tweaked Macbook Pro
- FTC to mobile carriers: If you could stop text scammers being jerks that'd be just great