Re: Bitcoin is just a huge criminal fraud by bankers!
It does have a hint of "pyramid scheme" about it, doesn't it?
682 posts • joined 19 May 2009
It does have a hint of "pyramid scheme" about it, doesn't it?
Indeed, I plan Poopcoin as dirty money. If I can get my hands on enough Poop, it'll make me filthy rich.
Each Poopcoin transaction completes almost instantly in a matter of weeks, for which I charge just 0.2 per cent* per transaction.
I forgot to include the explanatory footnote in my column, so here it is:
[* of your projected life earnings]
It's not for me to say. Shame, since now you'll never get to see that video featuring heavy metal, partying, drug-taking and lots and lots of nudity.
Ah, that's why I work longer hours for less money than ever before. I ought to be asking for more utility.
Tony Stark is one thing but they must have been more than a teensy bit envious of all the random fun that (real person) Elon Musk is having with his spare cash: magic cars, space rockets, etc.
I wonder how international data protection legislation might deal with other Alphabet companies making use of Google's data farm.
Sorry to be a bore but this isn't how SEO works. If a search for "funny cat videos" or "Kim Kardashian's arse" pointed to this article, I'd consider it more of a success.
Run that by me again. Because I called in a plumber on my household appliance insurance, I am unfit to write about IT security? Oh-kayyyy.
>> So how much did you pay him
I never asked for a quote and paid him what he asked for. Before he offered to help, I had been expecting to fork out £200-300 on a new Crapper plus the same again on "expert" labour to take out the old one and out in the new one, what with my old loo being cemented into the floor.
>> I test the bass on headphones with this track
Huh, typical Reg commentard, waving his organ around.
>> Because Microsoft have NEVER EVER been accused of bloat. EVER.
Except when I did, at the end of the column.
>> Actually, I don't know that any of what I've written makes sense.
I experience this every week.
Was "Beat" the one with the blue cover? It didn't do much for me. The yellow and red ones were superb.
>> architecture / scope creep
It's about neither. It's an anecdote. If I could just make this shit up, I'd have a quieter life.
>> large white balloon
You want information? You're not going to get it!
>> Jennfer Connelly has curve
Yes, she looks nothing like her father, Cyril. Or was it Billy?
This is possible. I found a trick online that disables my printer's toner-out countdown, and I have not needed to change my toner carts for nearly two years.
I don't know why, but this video has been pulled from YouTube and Vimeo. I quickly found a dodgy alternative. I'm glad you enjoyed the experience.
Thanks for the reminder about the Coronation kick. I first heard anecdote in April this year at the IEEE Milestone unveiling for Blumlein at Abbey Road.
I will never work for a charity again. I did it twice, never got paid from either charity. When I pushed for payment, I received the "we're a charity, you know" treatment, despite having agreed on a contract before we started. When it got nasty, I left them alone: I would have come out worse off.
>> The one that looks like a 3 1/2" floppy disk.
Some interface designers have tried to solve this problem (no-one under 30 knows what a floppy disk looks like) by changing the button to look a bit like the casing of a hard disk. This is worse because not only do even fewer people know what a hard disk looks like, a thin blank rectangle with a dot (to represent an LED) is practically unrecognisable as anything.
>> I think I'm going to throw up
I once felt unwell during a sushi-and-saki party, and the restaurant staff skilfully smuggled me out a back door and into a black cab. When I said I was feeling sick, he put his foot down and got me home in 20 mins instead of the customary 60.
>> Anyone remember MS-DOS?
Some years ago, a letter came in to the computer mag I was working for, in which a disabled man was complaining that MS-DOS kept insulting him. Being wheelchair-bound, he believed that the operating system was being sarcastic about his attempts to use DOS commands because it would respond "INVALID SYNTAX" every time.
I'm pretty sure it was supposed to be a joke letter but I do wonder sometimes...
>> I went for a course in electroconvulsive therapy
Did you make any contacts?
Not sure what you mean. Are you suggesting it's a tautology? If so, I call it a 'training course' to distinguish it from a golf course, an assault course or a course in electroconvulsive therapy.
>> black cab from Heathrow bound for a B&B in a side street in North Finchley.
Be reasonable. You honestly expect someone to have memorised every street name, location and directions to get there within the entire Greater London area?
>> Or "at the roundabout, take the first exit", which happens to be a farm track
My Dad used to do this. As soon as the GPS told him to turn left, he'd immediately haul on the steering wheel and shoot up someone's front drive.
I kid you not, we owned a little gas camping stove right up until a couple of years ago, when I finally disposed of it. It had never been used. It had been sitting on a shelf in the garage ever since I bought it at the end of December 1999, "just in case".
>> School windows never open
The ones at my school did. In fact, they remained open, sun or rain. I remember our Latin teacher had a habit of casually tossing our marked exercise books, frisbee-style, to us from his desk at the front. If you were lucky enough to sit by a window, there was a chance that your exercise book might fly outside before you had a chance to catch it. That meant you were allowed to go outside (two floors down, in the playground) to fetch it. If you were unlucky, it would be raining and your book would be a pulpy lump by the time you retrieved it.
Still without a hob and getting rather fed up of laboriously cooking separate ingredients in the microwave in sequence, then finishing them off in the oven or under the grill. I have even learnt how to make frittatas in the microwave, and I have been told how to poach an egg in there (will try this over the weekend). The day I get the new hob fitted, I will cook something that requires me to use all four rings simultaneously. (Ooh matron etc)
Thanks for the anecdote. It's nice to know I'm not the only one to experience this weird approach to rolling out corporate systems – in which the business spends $50 squillion on bespoke software, then thinks up all manner of ways to prevent its own staff from using it.
>> First rule of contracting club
I quite agree, but I always ask not to be given deletion rights. The drawback is that I have to ask a college to delete things for me every time. The huge advantage is that I will never get blamed for deleting something important (which some damn freelancer asked me to delete for them).
Yes, I read that. Apparently, the volcano was either erupting or constantly puffing out smoke for millennia right up until 1944, when the last eruption collapsed the interior. This means it has not been able to let off er... steam for 66 years and may be bottling something up pretty big, and it's 50-or-so year blast cycle is overdue now. We went for a walk around the crater.
Yes, we visited Herculaneum. Much of the ancient town is still under slums. However, it has not been possible to acquire the slums with a view to widening the archaeological site and move the unfortunate residents into better accommodation because, according to our Italian guide, intransigence on the part of local politicians in the pockets of criminal gangs. How terribly exciting, I must say.
I think they are holding out for more cash from the charity that supports the dig: the Packard Foundation, set up by David you know who.
>> Those automatic bananas can be a bugger to peel.
Ah, I can see where you're going wrong. Try holding it in your hand instead.
Sites. As in locations to visit. Sights can't be closed at weekends, unless of course someone covers them up with vast amounts of cloth.
>> If only I had a baby. >> Or had bought baby related things in the past. >> Or had even looked at baby goods.
I think you should have a quiet word with your wife. She may have a surprise for you.
>> those who eat citrus fruit in the office
My wife was in a sauna when a woman walked in, sat down and proceeded to munch through an orange. Everyone else had to leave because they were unable to breathe.
BTW, "munch through an orange" isn't a euphemism. At least, not yet.
It's an Italian invention.
>> scan the "finished" barcode on the automated till, do the normal credit card stuff, and leave.
You missed the bit where the machine says "RESCAN" and you have to stand there, red-faced, while a Waitrose employee laboriously rescans everything and repackaged your bags, piling the heaviest items on top of the eggs, and everyone in the supermarket stares at you like you were a shoplifter.
>> Hope Dabbsy is having a holiday
Here in Sorrento, it's nothing but humans serving in the shops. Actually, better than humans: they're Italians.
>> Worth Investigating, Mr Dabbs? A world tour of Supermarkets, perhaps?
You have to be taking the piss.
Who were you training? Columbo?
Then it is my duty to update his Wikipedia page with my video.
Nope, I was spawned in Kent and only brought up in Yorkshire. Now I'm back in Kent, I pretend to be miserable. In real life, I am positively chirpy.
I'm a bit of a porker again, now. My profile photo was taken using selfie rules: from above, looking up.