* Posts by Alistair Dabbs

604 posts • joined 19 May 2009

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Acer: 'We will be the last man standing in the PC industry'

Alistair Dabbs
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Re: Free upgrade

Yes, I could have rephrased that better. The point was that Acer says it will upgrade you, rather than you necessarily doing it yourself via a Microsoft store. How this will work in practice, I have no idea.

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Alistair Dabbs
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Re: All in 1366x768!!

I thought someone would ask this but I didn't want to get bogged down with a long and boring list of all the specs. I imagine you'd also want to know what ports you get, all disk size options, etc. This stuff will trickle through when we start reviewing the real kit.

In the meantime, let it be known that tou can get the Aspire V15 in 1920x1080 but not if you want a touchscreen. You can also get a 1920x1080 version of the Chromebook. The 17in version of the Aspire ES has a 1600x900 display. The Aspire Switch 10 has 1920x1200.

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Stuff your RFID card, just let me through the damn door!

Alistair Dabbs
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Re: This one goes out to Alistair

Very nice, thank you. It could do with more metal riffs, though. And yelling.

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Alistair Dabbs
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Re: Ceterum censeo!

I once worked with an Australian who was 100% convinced that any Englishman will laugh out loud at the mention of the word "bottoms".

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Alistair Dabbs
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Re: Spot on description of acess control purgatory.

>> What you had to do to gain entry

Yes, I have a colleague who was refused re-entry via a convenient side door after he had nipped out of the company gym for a run. The jobsworth on video security could see that he was waving a valid pass and covered head to foot in sweat but still made him walk up the road and use the main entrance and take the public lift back down to the gym, dripping sweat throughout.

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Alistair Dabbs
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Re: ...never go full C***son

I owe a bunch of flowers to the Reg sub-editors. When I typed that sentence, I inserted asterisks only in the first c-word.

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Alistair Dabbs
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Re: Doing a Clarkson

Nice blog? This ain't no steenkin' blog. I get paid for it!

Mind you, this has given me an idea for next week's column...

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Alistair Dabbs
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Re: you need a holiday Mr Dabbs!

I heard you the first time.

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Alistair Dabbs
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Re: who picks the photos?

I picked the photo because I felt like it.

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Let’s PULL Augmented Reality and CLIMAX with JISM

Alistair Dabbs
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Re: The Joy Of PowerPoint

Ah yes, did I ever recount the story about Paul Dacre, editor of the Daily Mail, having to borrow an iPad from a gay IT minion in order to give a presentation to the board? Quite apart from all the Tindr notifications, just imagine what it might have been like in that boardroom if Gaydar suddenly announced that half a dozen potential contacts were nearby.

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Alistair Dabbs
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Re: Augmented Unreality

This is my feeling too: AR has a tricksy, surprising, pop-up feel that makes it best suited to entertainment. For everything else, it strikes me as the most inconvenient method possible of communicating information.

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Alistair Dabbs
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>> well, a few graphics would help!!

It's bad enough that I made puerile sexual jokes that turn out to involve a child character. You want me to post pictures?

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Struggling through the Crystal Maze in our hunt for a spare CAT5

Alistair Dabbs
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Re: WiFi

Indeed, WiFi would be fine for the email and CRM stuff you're talking about: they could effectively remote-in from their desktop PCs... except that their corporate desktop PCs don't have WiFi, what with them being corporate desktop PCs and all.

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Alistair Dabbs
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>> felony

I'm not surprised. Everything is illegal in the USA. It must be like living under the Taliban over there.

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Streaming tears of laughter as Jay-Z (Tidal) waves goodbye to $56m

Alistair Dabbs
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Re: Alan Dower Blumlein

Great stuff, guys!

- Bogbrush

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Alistair Dabbs
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I would pay the premium rate to stop them from recording in the future.

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Alistair Dabbs
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Re: These people are out of their tiny minds

>> These people are out of their tiny minds

Why cannot I not get Alvin Stardust out of my head?

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Alistair Dabbs
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Re: Great article, gave me a really strong mental image.

Deadmau5, yes. In a row of Deadhed5.

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Alistair Dabbs
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Re: Fred-rick Nee-chee

And Rene Descartes was a drunken fart

I drink therefore I am... (Etc)

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Alistair Dabbs
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Re: Streaming? more like Steaming

>> the original vinyl album's track order changed for CD

I'd forgotten about how they used to do this in the early days of CD. The worst offender for me was Thomas Dolby's Golden Age of Wireless. Even now, if I choose to listen to this album, I play it via a custom playlist that puts all the tracks back into their original LP order. Shame that the continuous joins and cross fades are impossible to recreate this way, but there you go: a perfect album ruined.

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Alistair Dabbs
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Re: Blumlein

I met Robert Alexander at Wednesday's event. I think a new updated edition of the book is in order.

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Alistair Dabbs
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Re: Word perfect article

>> article is a masterpiece.

Thanks, mum. I'll be back at 6.

To be fair, several of these artists do play an instrument: Jack W plays guitar, Alicia Keys plays piano and Kanye West plays with himself.

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Alistair Dabbs
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Re: Damned if you do, damned if you don't

I'd feel more charitable if the Tidal crowd on that stage made music that I'd want to hear. Why would I want to encourage more of that that garbage? How could I trust these identikit-surgeoned airheads to promote original bands? Even Jack White is a has-been whose interesting work ended the day he recorded that bloody awful theme tune to a James Bond film... with a certain Alicia Keys, wasn't it?

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Forum chat is like Clarkson punching you repeatedly in the face

Alistair Dabbs
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Re: Pastures New.

It's not impossible. Something about this reminds me of champion cyclist David Millar practically leading investigators to the syringes on his bedside table: it's said he'd had enough and subconsciously "wanted out".

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Alistair Dabbs
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Re: Good riddance, I say

Are you invading Steve Coogan's privacy by quoting what he once said? Isn't Steve Coogan acting like a tabloid newspaper by blurting out his cruel opinions of celebrities he doesn't know personally?

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Alistair Dabbs
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>> Go fuck your hands you blubbery, bilious bunch of baboon-faced bastards.

I've read that before. Was it Captain Haddock in Secret of the Unicorn?

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Alistair Dabbs
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>> disgraceful attack on the LGBT community

One of the Facebook comments in question claimed that JC was a misogynist (which he may well be for all I know) because he used the word "c*nt" as a term of abuse. Earlier in the post, the same person had already called him, apparently without any sense of irony, a "prick".

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Alistair Dabbs
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Re: CompuServe computer magazine Forum

It was CLIFEUK. Disappointingly nothing to do with fish but the UK edition of Computer Life.

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Alistair Dabbs
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Re: How Internet chat works

An animated GIF? Fascist.

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Dear departed Internet Explorer, how I will miss you ... NOT

Alistair Dabbs
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Re: Correcting the facts

Thanks for the clarification. Whenever I saw a message telling me that I had to dick about with winsock to make it work, or change my version of winsock, or insert winsock up my arse, etc, what I really ought to have done was tell myself: "Oh, never mind. Winsock's just a copycat of the *nix sockets interface, which is supposed to enable easy porting of already existing *nix networking applications and utilities to Windows. So it's OK that it doesn't work."

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Alistair Dabbs
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Re: Ahh CL

InDesign doesn't do 'lorem ipsum' precisely but it's another part-randomised, mashed-up Cicero variant, I think. PageMaker used 'lorem ipsum' and I believe WordPress used to (still does?) when you preview themes. Which makes me wonder... do the Vatican newspaper subs have a spellchecker?

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Alistair Dabbs
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Re: Just one more thing...

I don't think I ever met anyone who had actually animated a gif

What, like this one?

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Alistair Dabbs
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Re: Ahh CL

the infamous "Type some shit in here please" Amiga Format issue

Thank you x100 for the link to the page scan. I use this exact anecdote regularly in my training courses with respect to the use of 'dummy' text. I'm a strong believer that the reason why Adobe InDesign uses faux Latin for its dummy text (as opposed to 'lazy brown fox' or indeed 'type some shit in here' etc) is that it will always get flagged up during a spell check. Now I have a copy of the original page to show everyone too. Thanks again.

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Alistair Dabbs
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Re: It was crap but...

In the eBook publishing industry, we have to put up with this all the time. We have perfectly acceptable EPUB standards but when will we ever see an eBook reader that respects them properly or a creative package that supports them correctly?

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Alistair Dabbs
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Re: Ahh CL

I'm pleased that Computer Life is fondly remembered. I did several freelance stints on the UK edition, starting as production editor, then CD editor and CompuServe sysop for CLIFEUK. There was no such role as a web editor in those days, although someone later pointed out to me that Britain's "first ever magazine website" (Futurenet) only got going some months after I artlessly coded my handful of CL pages.

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Alistair Dabbs
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Re: In a wonderful piece of irony...

Apparently the alignment of my mugshot is obsolete. It's the story of my life.

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Alistair Dabbs
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Re: non European character sets

ISIS must be bricking it without IE.

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Alistair Dabbs
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Re: "I'm on the internet....."

Good piece but really of most value to those who will never read it.

When I publish my book, I'll print that on the dust jacket.

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Post-pub nosh neckfiller: Smažený sýr

Alistair Dabbs
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Asturian goat cheese and a substantial slab of provolone

When I get back from the pub, these ingredients are inexplicably missing from my fridge.

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Yay! Wearables! It's the future! Uh-oh! I'm going to be sick

Alistair Dabbs
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As SEO-friendly expressions go, that one's probably a bit of a failure.

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Alistair Dabbs
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Re: Vinegar and Cat’s Piss

Enough to avoid the gym I go to, anyway.

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Give biometrics the FINGER: Horror tales from the ENCRYPT

Alistair Dabbs
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Re: gut flora

But this is my point: if it's unique, it's a security nightmare. As soon as the biometric data is stolen, what do you do? Change your gut flora?

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Alistair Dabbs
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Re: A bit over the top, but...

implanting it into the user's hand

The gadget would be out of date before the stitches healed.

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Alistair Dabbs
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Re: Is it just me?

Your password is as secure as you choose to make it.

Whereas it's perfectly OK for my biometric identity to be in the public domain? BTW, Apple treats your fingerprint as your password on iOS devices.

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Alistair Dabbs
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Re: A bit over the top, but...

1. YOUR FINGERPRINT DOES NOT AUTHENTICATE YOU TO THE BANK!!

This is true. However, your scenario only considers the possibility of a user's phone being stolen. My opinion is that the greater threat is that the bank allows all of ITS records to be pilfered.

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Alistair Dabbs
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Re: Wishful thinking as a platform

Thankfully, the UK Government has an excellent track record in rolling out IT systems.

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Alistair Dabbs
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Re: Weird.

Are you implying that this column was a joke that we all got?

How dare you imply that my column is a joke? I'll have you know, it's written as a tutorial.

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Alistair Dabbs
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Re: Trouble is, that's only going to work for ~50% of the population…

nipple geometry could work

Might need some tweaking.

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I, ROBOT ~ YOU, MORON. How else will automated news work?

Alistair Dabbs
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Re: Why go back to Nixon?

I was looking for old and new non-contentious examples. That Nixon lied his head off while sending young Americans to their death is a matter of public record, as is blatant truth-bending by Britain's chief accountant. Opinions on Obama's healthcare stumbles, however, remain politically loaded and open to interpretation

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Alistair Dabbs
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But then, identifying moronic gullibility on social networks should also be easy. Spotting intelligence and erudition there, now that's tricky!

I thought Leonard Nimoy's final tweet was nice.

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