* Posts by S Larti

132 posts • joined 15 May 2009

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Your kids' chances of becoming programmers? ZERO

S Larti

Old School IT

"This meant it could be a week or two between writing your code and getting back a printout informing you that one syntax error had stopped the program from being run. No I’m not making this up, that was how it was done."

I remember it so well. Your chances of getting a result back from the County computer on your first attempts at code were pretty slim. We weren't so much badly-taught as blind and being led by the one eyed.

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Lingerie-clad she-devils romp past watchdog

S Larti
Thumb Up

But am I really sad?

When my first thought was "Is that the same house they used in the Baskerville episode of Sherlock?"

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Facebook blamed for getting Thai teens up the duff

S Larti
Facepalm

Whatisthisidon'teven...

Thanks to the Reg for revealing yet more WWWTFery!

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Firm Dick sales excite buyers

S Larti
Paris Hilton

Fnarr! Fnarr!

That is all.

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Playboy, Virgin Galactic tout zero-grav nookie in spaaaaace!

S Larti
Coat

In space

no one can hear you scream "Yes! Yes! Yes! OH GOD YES!!!"

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iPad Fleshlight lets fanbois express their love

S Larti
Coat

Desert Wife?

If this does prove popular with troops deployed far from home, their girls back home willl need a new version of a classic song:

"Don't fap under the Apple pad with anyone else but me."

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Darwin's lost fossils found down the back of a cupboard

S Larti
Thumb Up

There is only one way to make this more awesome:

Was this 'dark corner' in a disused lavatory with a sign on the door saying 'Beware of the Leopard'.?

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Google gives £550k to Bletchley Park

S Larti
Boffin

Hang on...

Is it Bletchley Park or the national museum of computing getting this grant? Because when I visited the place just after they opened the Tunny room & we had a tour around the colossus related stuff it was made clear that the NMC is separate from BP and rather than getting funding from it has to pay for the space it occupies.

As is made clear here: http://www.tnmoc.org/about.aspx

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Navy pays 2x purchase price to keep warship docked for 5 years

S Larti
Thumb Up

You have to admire Lewis's persistence...

but bashing BAe seems to be like bashing Clarkson, the bastards just seem to make more and more money.

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Antarctic ice formed at CO2 levels much higher than today's

S Larti
FAIL

Logic fail

The fact that the atmosphere contained more CO2 when the ice formed doesn't mean that the planet was warmer, unless other factors were also the same as they are now. Nor does the melting of ice depend on CO2 content in the ppm level!

Which is not to say that this isn't an interesting finding.

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Second US Navy robot stealth bomber takes flight

S Larti
Flame

Good news for the UK then:

By the time we get our aircraftless carriers, sorry carrier & mothballed hulk, fitted with aircraft said aircraft will be obsolescent and the rest of the world will be using stealth robots.

Good to see my taxes being so well spent.

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Science, engineering PhDs to drop by a third

S Larti
Flame

EPSRC?

Egregious Pricks Slashing Research Capability.

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Swedish cops free boozy moose from tree

S Larti
Coat

Who you gonna call?

Elkoholics anonymoose!

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Ohio man cuffed for shagging inflatable pool raft

S Larti
Coat

Whatever floats your boat!

Mine's the plastic mac, thanks...

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Tesco pricing cock-up provokes beer stampede

S Larti
Coffee/keyboard

Special Tesco deal at El Reg

Get TWO Scottish stereotypes for the price of one!

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Rapture postponed as world inexplicably fails to end

S Larti
WTF?

Ah, religion!

Exploiting the gullible since the year dot!

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Swiss jetwing backpack-birdman flies the Grand Canyon

S Larti
Coffee/keyboard

Dammit Lewis!

You owe me a new keyboard for "Strap-on thrust equipment conquers mighty cleft"!

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Surrey voted tops for tits in birdwatching poll

S Larti
IT Angle

So what's the tIT angle?

I'll get me protractor...

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RAF Eurofighters make devastating attack – on Parliament

S Larti
Black Helicopters

Reality of Costs

Ideally, if you can save £6Bn then that's £6Bn you can spend on something useful for the economy (or less tax you need to take).

But even if we assume that the government would only waste it somewhere else and "Buy British" regardless, very little of the £12Bn gets back into the UK economy because very little of it goes to pay UK workers. BAe are no more 'British' than BP - except when it suits politicians.

Defence is the only industry where the customer is constrained to buy British (or Euro-collaborative) & never mind the cost, the quality or the lead times involved.

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S Larti
Grenade

So less-than-smart bombing then?

Couldn't we save even more money by dropping MOD civil servants, former ministers & directors of BAe on Libya from a great height?

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Menorcan politician flashes substantial chesticles

S Larti
Coat

Nice to see El Reg

keeping abreast of European politics.

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MYSTERY of huge Canadian chicken-shed EXPLOSION

S Larti
Alien

Clearly the work..

of eggstraterrestrials.

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'Thickest burglar' leaves passport at scene of raid

S Larti
WTF?

Does it count as burglary

When you break in just to leave your stuff?

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Middle England chokes on Nice Baps

S Larti
WTF?

The Wrath of Middle England!!!

Which consists of one stiff* letter to the council...

* careful now!

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Libya fighting shows just how idiotic the Defence Review was

S Larti
Thumb Up

Frakkin' brilliant article Lewis

Although as a taxpayer I'm pretty pissed off.

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Spurned nonagenarian lets rip with semi-automatic

S Larti
Welcome

Hell's Grannies!

Voice Over: This is a frightened city. Over these houses, over these streets hangs a pall of fear. Fear of a new kind of violence which is terrorizing the city. Yes, gangs of old ladies attacking defenceless fit young men.

(Film of old ladies beating up two young men; then several grannies walking aggressively along street, pushing passers-by aside.)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CStfT8gCrjM

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Out of shape? Not had sex for years? Watch out

S Larti
Coat

Alarmist, Moi?

Would this be an article by the same Lewis who has been decrying alarmist reporting about radiation from Fukushima?

With the sub-headline "When you finally do get lucky you might DIE"?

So where's the Fukushima angle?

Wait... What?

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Fukushima one week on: Situation 'stable', says IAEA

S Larti
Thumb Up

Thanks Lewis

Nice to see a decent bit of reporting about the whole event. Now if only the MSM would join in...

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Texas bank robber asked for ID

S Larti
Coffee/keyboard

Bwahahahaha

hahahahahaha!

God I needed that. Not sure the boss agrees...

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Eurofighter Typhoon: It's EVEN WORSE than we thought

S Larti
Grenade

At least the Eurofighter looks nice

So we get a lot of expensively useless toys. Rather than the MOD spending all the money stocking up on light bulbs at £22 each when they are available for 65p, or £103 a time for screws, believed to be on sale online for £2.60.

Oh wait, they've done both.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-12643966

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Boffins demand: Cull bogus A-Levels, hire brainier teachers

S Larti
Thumb Up

Yes!

"Firstly, there should be an attempt to rein in the vast and continually burgeoning range of bullshit A-Levels which are easy and fun to do but no use whatever – and which tempt kids away from the true path."

But will it happen?

And, Tom15, I'm afraid that General Studies is not only still there, it's compulsory at many schools even though few universities will touch it.

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NY hookers cross street from Craigslist to Facebook

S Larti
Coat

NY

Big Apple and Blackberry tarts.

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Official: PhD in 'Essential Oils' or 'Natural Toiletries' = 'a Scientist'

S Larti
WTF?

It's enough to make you weep

Who do we report the ASA to?

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No new copters for Afghanistan troops

S Larti
Flame

This is a fcuking disgrace!

Either kit the lads out properly or stop pretending we're serious about Afghanistan and bring them home.

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Mexican army interdicts dope-slinging catapult

S Larti
Coat

Getting medieval

on your hash!

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Man demands police protection from sex-mad missus

S Larti
Joke

rate this article?

limp

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Man killed by own cock

S Larti
Coat

which part of the Bengali community was this guy from?

Is this an example of Hen-do aggression?

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Raygun dreadnought project reports 'remarkable breakthrough'

S Larti
Heart

Hmmmm...

...the FEL programme has been underway since the 1980s...

...The raygun team hope to test a full-power prototype laser turret at sea as soon as 2018...

Forty years from idea to prototype? That's the sort of timescale BAe can only dream of, isn't it Lewis?

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Man charged in bizarre EXPLODING VIBRATOR plot

S Larti

worst Xmas present ever?

Nah, I've had worse. A rigged vibrator you can at least throw away, presents from in-laws on the other hand...

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New RAF transport plane is 'Euro-w*nking makework project'

S Larti
Grenade

plus ca change

quelle surprise...

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Christians vs metalheads in FB flame war

S Larti
Coat

I'd bite the head off a bat!

But the aussies are having enough trouble with their batting already!

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Falklands hero Marine: Save the Harrier, scrap the Tornado

S Larti
Thumb Up

Well said sir!

Although the RAF still being obsessed with bombers and Cameron turning out to be a tosser hardly surprise me.

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New pocket-sized smartbomb - just for killer robots

S Larti
Coat

Pocket sized...

and 2 feet long?

Boasting a bit are we, Lewis?

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US Army trials robot 'leccy-n-bandwidth war-mules

S Larti
Coat

Bugler!

Sound "Charge"

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Tesla Motors: Our cars don't burst into flame, but our emails do

S Larti
Thumb Up

excellent idea!

I thought that

* Admittedly this particular goal is well down the priorities list below most of our other editorial goals.

Was the finest bootnote seen in many lunchtimes of Reg reading.

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Navy Carriers: We want two or no votes for you, Tories

S Larti
Thumb Up

nice article Lewis.

If something has to go the escorts are probably the least valuable part of the navy, designed to fight the last war or the one before that. We certainly don't need 22 to escort a maximum of 2 carriers. Pity the RN, which pioneered carriers, never really embraced them, and that the FAA is the poor relation of the RN & the RAF.

But we know that this government will be no less pork barrel driven than the last, whether it's directorships for ministers, profits for BAe or jobs in marginal constiuencies it's never getting the forces the right kit, let alone the right kit when they need it.

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Nuclear merchant ships could open up Arctic routes for real

S Larti
Pint

But surely...

giant nuclear powered commercial vessels are only viable when International Rescue are standing by to save the world from the inevitable accident caused by local cuisine/interfering journalists/evil foreign types*

*delete as applicable

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Ad touts benefits of pubic school to South Benders

S Larti
Pint

15 best things?

I can cetainly think of a few, but 15?

Still, nice to see El Reg beavering away for news stories.

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Crash grounds RAF Eurofighters - for Battle of Britain Day!

S Larti

Achtung Spitfeuer!

dakka dakka dakka

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Voice of America chap ejaculates over Paris Hilton

S Larti
Paris Hilton

It's a cunning plan, I tell you!

They're not aimed at defusing potential al-Qaeda suicide bombers. They're designed to make them go off prematurely.

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