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* Posts by Michael Hawkes

107 posts • joined 5 May 2009

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Freeze, Glasshole! Stop spying on me at the ATM

Michael Hawkes
Childcatcher

BREAKING NEWS!

People with cameras can record what you're doing.

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Firefighters deliver trapped student from GIANT GERMAN LADYPARTS

Michael Hawkes

Perhaps he wanted to engage in some up-close

examination, not knowing that he must use the

necessary equipment. After all, he's a student,

isn't he? Having to be extracted is really quite

sad.

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So, what exactly defines a 'boffin'? Speak your brains...

Michael Hawkes
Boffin

Re: Biological sciences

I disagree with your idea that biological sciences don't breed boffins. I work with several who are researching diseases related to eyes and vision. For example, one of them is working out why certain proteins seem to cause retinal neovascularization, and trying to determine if blocking the production of those proteins will stop neovascularization. That kind of work might lead to treatments for certain types of blindness (age-related macular degeneration, in particular).

These Ph.D.s are conducting basic science in labs: making observations, formulating hypotheses, devising experiments, and reporting results.

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Watch: Kids slam Apple as 'BORING, the whole thing is BORING'

Michael Hawkes
Headmaster

Are you expecting children to already know how to design processors, PCBs, etc., before they go to college?

Do you have incredibly high-standards, or do you believe this knowledge is passed on genetically?

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Tech that we want (but they never seem to give us)

Michael Hawkes
Joke

Re: Isn't that mico-USB and now mandatory in the EU?

If a 9-pin serial port is good enough for Nigel Farage, it's good enough for me.

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EE unleashes birds of prey onto unsuspecting customers

Michael Hawkes
Headmaster

Maybe it's a regional thing, but I've always thought buzzard = vulture = condor = birds-of-prey with featherless heads.

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Microsoft walks into a bar. China screams: 'Eww is that Windows 8? GET OUT OF HERE'

Michael Hawkes
Black Helicopters

Payback

I wonder if this is indirect payback against the US government for accusations against some Chinese officials.

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Customer sues Nimbus Data for 'breach of contract' over arrays

Michael Hawkes

Public testimonial

In the upper right corner of the quote it says "Quote contingent on a public testimonial within 30 days of installation". I wonder if Maximus supplied a public testimonial, or if that's what the lawsuit is supposed to be.

Also, it's nice to see an article about lawsuits that don't involve patents. Patent lawsuits seem like tedious, drawn-out flamewars. Breach-of-contract seems a bit more straightforward.

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Crypto-guru slams 'NSA-proof' tech, says today's crypto is strong enough

Michael Hawkes
Black Helicopters

NSA seal-of-approval

"We don’t need any new NSA-proof protocols. Any well-designed, appropriately-deployed protocol is NSA-proof."

Or so the NSA would have us believe. Even as far back as Caesar, there has been a conflict between the codemakers and the codebreakers. It's in the NSA's interest to have people believe there are NSA-proof protocols. Codemakers should keep trying to push the state-of-the-art in encryption. If they aren't, they're not doing their jobs.

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Cloud computing is FAIL and here’s why

Michael Hawkes
Devil

Re: Sorry, but you are incorrect Alistair.

And who wants to be responsible for that?

Wow! Is that an option? Where does the line start?

OTOH, they'd probably start Hunger-as-a-Service and make billions (think of it as the modern equivalent of selling indulgences.)

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James Bond producers sign on for Edward Snowden movie

Michael Hawkes

IMO, Chris Pine (a/k/a the new James T. Kirk) would be a good choice. He's not all over the place, so he would probably straddle the fine line of being well-known and being cheap (relatively speaking). Give him some glasses and a beard, he can do the job.

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Now that's PROPER SCIENCE: Boffins teach robo-arm to catch flying beer bottle

Michael Hawkes
Terminator

As foretold...

It's only a matter of time before Krikkit gets involved in this technology.

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Hey sailor, fancy putting your hands all over a NeRD fondleslab?

Michael Hawkes
Headmaster

"...the tablet would allow soldiers..."

Navy personnel are sailors, not soldiers.

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Stephen Hawking: The creation of true AI could be the 'greatest event in human history'

Michael Hawkes
Terminator

Re: two words

"Here I am, brain the size of a planet... Call that job satisfaction, 'cause I don't."

Where's the Marvin icon when you need it?

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Cloudera, MongoDB go on a Big Data date, fall in love, jump in bed

Michael Hawkes

What's in a name?

Mondera sounds like the name of a family sedan.

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SAVE THE EARTH... give all your iThings back to us, begs Apple

Michael Hawkes
Childcatcher

Greenwashing

If they really wanted to make environmentally friendly products, they'd design them to be easily repaired/upgraded so people wouldn't need to buy new ones so often.

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Innovation creates instability, you say? BLASPHEMY, you SCUM

Michael Hawkes
Headmaster

Buzz, buzz, buzz

Innovation and convergence are the new paradigm (in more ways than one).

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Survey: Just 1 in 3 Euro biz slackers meets card security standards

Michael Hawkes
Headmaster

...based on real actual casework...

"Real actual"? Is the author getting paid by the word?

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Aer Lingus opts for Tegile arrays, snubs EMC in shock move

Michael Hawkes

Charlie Mingus

The legendary jazz musician.

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Reading this headline? You and 9.47 million others

Michael Hawkes

It's not what you think

IMHO, they're more frightened by words like hexadecimal and sysadmin.

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Factories are too DULL for Google's robo-dreams: Behold the GATAMAMs

Michael Hawkes
Devil

Re: Google, take this deal please

Playing devil's advocate here, the problem with people is that they have "rights" and can complain to the government if they feel those rights have been abused. A robot doesn't have these rights (not yet, anyway). Unemployed people might be cheap labor, and even desperate for work, but it's still possible they might complain about some aspect of employment. Therefore, it makes more sense to use robots for some jobs, because robots can't complain.

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Julie Larson-Green: Yes, MICROSOFT is going to KILL WINDOWS

Michael Hawkes

Licensing

I'd be more impressed if they simplified their licensing schemes. IMHO, if your licensing is so complex that you created "licensing specialist" as a job title and certification, then you're doing something wrong.

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Google's Schmidt predicts end to global censorship in a DECADE

Michael Hawkes
Big Brother

Google

If censorship ends, it will be in spite of Google, not because of it. It's in its corporate interests to comply with governmental orders, where smaller, nimbler organizations can take greater risks because they have less to lose.

Big Brother because Google is watching.

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Arm-wave bye BYE! Apple grabs Kinect flail-sensor maker for $345m

Michael Hawkes
Thumb Up

Sign language

Maybe Siri will get be able to work with sign languages in the future. One of many possibilities, I imagine.

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El avión Buitre 2 rinde homenaje a nuestros amigos españoles

Michael Hawkes
Thumb Up

International

I can see the Register is trying to gain international support for its plans to become the first tech website in space. By the third iteration, I hope they have their VOIP (Vulture-over-internet-protocol) tech finally ready for the masses.

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Sail HO! Look out Bay Area - it's the GOOGLE GALLEON

Michael Hawkes
Pirate

Preparing for battle

They plan to engage with and destroy the Crimson Permanent Assurance. It's Eric Schmidt's plan for revenge dating back to when he was a Midshipman for Bell Labs.

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Google told: ERASE Mosley's FIVE-HOOKER ORGY. Now everyone will view it AGAIN

This post has been deleted by a moderator

I survived Spiceworld 2013, heat and all: Here's how I did it

Michael Hawkes
Paris Hilton

tl;dr

So it's, like, a Spice Girls convention, right?

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Google Helpout live vids: Helping you help us help ourselves, says web giant

Michael Hawkes

A few questions for Google

What's the best way to protect my Gmail from NSA snooping?

How can I remove all Google products from my Android phone?

If 42 is the answer, what is the question?

At what point did Google stop giving a s**t about the "Don't be evil" slogan?

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Adobe exec puffs cloud shop: Online features are so 'compelling'... What are they again?

Michael Hawkes
Devil

Apropos

Yesterday Adobe asked me to fill out a survey regarding CS6 and Creative Cloud. I told them I had no intention of buying, installing, or recommending Creative Cloud because their software isn't compelling enough to warrant taking out a subscription. For most of the people I deal with, Gimp and Scribus are sufficient for their needs. You don't need Photoshop if all you're going to do is crop a photo.

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In a meeting with a woman? For pity's sake DON'T READ THIS

Michael Hawkes
Facepalm

So, you're assuming they're not taking notes then? Maybe you should look at mobile use at meetings and presentations as a sign that you've said something interesting and they want to jot it down for future reference.

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Shadowy drug fans threaten FBI agents, vow to 'avenge' Silk Road shutdown

Michael Hawkes
Black Helicopters

Imitation is the ...

Considering how TOR works, it would be possible for multiple sites named Silk Road to appear, each with different ownership. Some might even be run by the DEA (or other govt agencies).

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Dear Apple: Want to stay in business? Make an iPhone people can afford

Michael Hawkes
Gimp

Fiats

Following that idea, maybe instead of introducing a low-end iPhone, maybe Apple should create a new lower-end brand, and put iOS on its devices. That way they wouldn't 'taint' the Apple brand with inexpensive products by creating a new gateway drug opening a new market.

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Look out, world! HP's found a use for Autonomy - rescuing Win XP bods

Michael Hawkes
Windows

The wrong way

They could probably make a lot of money by starting to Windows Updates for XP. I know several companies that are still using XP and aren't inclined to move to something else. If the cost of buying updates from Autonomy (or whoever) is less than the cost of upgrading hundreds or thousands of PCs to Windows 7, many companies would probably jump at the chance.

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Now we know why UK spooks simply shrugged at SSL encryption

Michael Hawkes
Black Helicopters

Reverse psychology

While I wouldn't put it past the NSA, GCHQ, et al to circumvent or decrypt SSL, it almost seems as if this is an attempt to get people to not care about SSL. If people believe SSL is useless, they'll won't go through the bother of using it, making the NSA's job that much easier.

Black helicopter due to the lack of a tinfoil hat icon.

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Ministry of Sound sues Spotify over user playlists

Michael Hawkes

Legalese

Since it's the Ministry of Sound, does that make this a "techno squabble"?

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MPs blocked from ogling 'web smut' 300,000 times – WHILE IN PARLIAMENT

Michael Hawkes
Joke

Re: "Tory MP Claire Perry... is advising the Prime Minister on porn"

"Nudge, nudge. Wink, wink. Say no more."

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Hacktivists boast of English Defence League KO after website downed

Michael Hawkes
Headmaster

What a name

With a name like English Defence League, I envisioned a plethora of pedantic people pushing proper spelling. Way more entertaining, pour moi, than a bunch of bigots.

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100 MEEELION self-driving cars will be sold globally in 2035 – report

Michael Hawkes

Lawyers

The legal issues might not be a game-stopper. Any lawyer worth their legal degree should be able to argue that the fault resides with someone other than their client.

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Chubby-chasing SEX TROLLS ran me offline, says fashion blogger

Michael Hawkes
Alert

Lower your expectations

"The best the human race can do." Online? That's a laugh. If you're looking for the best the human race can do, you're looking in the wrong place. Going online, I assume there will be stuff I disagree with, things that are distasteful, derogatory, and even hateful, but I accept it because if I want the benefits of going online, I also have to accept some risks.

That said, I've learned not to feed the trolls, online or off.

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Bank of Thailand bans Bitcoin

Michael Hawkes
Headmaster

First of all, the OP said they have a monopoly over the world's economy, not money. Money and the economy are two different things. Not that I agree with OP. Just sayin'.

In context of OP's comment, I understood it to mean the banks that are licensed and regulated by governments have a monopoly on the world's economy. A monopoly isn't about one company/organization. It's about power. Most banks have the same business model, so even if they are separate entities, they are going to do what they can to protect the business model. If thousands of banks are protecting the same business model, they can collectively act like a monopoly.

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'Wandering Dago' tuck truck ejected from NY race track

Michael Hawkes
Megaphone

Re: The "Wandering Wop"

100,000 people in a cricket stadium wouldn't sound like anything in America, because we don't have cricket stadiums that large.

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Reg hack prepares to live off wondergloop Soylent

Michael Hawkes
Coat

Re: If you can't fry it, it's not food

It's still new, give it time. It probably hasn't made its way to Scotland yet.

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Ex-CIA techie Edward Snowden: I am the NSA PRISM deepthroat

Michael Hawkes
Holmes

Re: Bin Laden Athletic 4, USA 1

If your family member was coming home late at night with people you suspect are pr0n stars, then you shouldn't be very surprised.

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Gourmet chemists sniff out ultimate cheese on toast

Michael Hawkes
WTF?

Definitions

Since I'm not British, is cheese on toast the same thing as a grilled cheese, or are they just culinary cousins?

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Leaks point to new mystery Macs 'with Jony Ive's fingerprints on'

Michael Hawkes
Go

Any external USB drive should work. When I need to use an optical drive, I connect a Dell USB2 DVD-RW drive to my MacBook. it's a bit cheaper than Apple's Superdrive and does the same job. For that matter, you could probably use a generic USB drive and save more money.

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'Liberator': Proof that you CAN'T make a working gun in a 3D printer

Michael Hawkes
FAIL

Anecdotal evidence

I work with a bunch of eye doctors and they give talks every week about interesting cases. One year one of them spent a few months helping out in a hospital in Alaska. He presented a case where a patient tried to commit suicide by holding a cartridge to his forehead with a pair of pliers and tried to set it off by holding a lighter to it. The cartridge went off, but instead of penetrating the skull, the bullet ended up between the globe and orbit, doing some damage to the eye (mainly burns). The doctor had pics, so it probably happened. The patient was held for a psych eval.

Fail, because the patient missed out on a Darwin award.

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Peak Apple: Foxconn contemplating life after Cupertino

Michael Hawkes
Alert

Re: Morons of the world, unite!

There was a suicide as recently as April: http://micgadget.com/34842/suicides-return-foxconn-workers-forced-to-work-long-hours-in-silence/

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Google erects tech specs tech specs, APIs hit the decks

Michael Hawkes
Boffin

Re: Starting to be excited about this ...

I work with a bunch of eye doctors, so I wonder how long it will be before one of them gets a set of these for "research".

It would probably be more useful to people with certain conditions, such as macular degeneration or maybe glaucoma, where they have some good, but patchy vision. People with dense cataracts, cloudy corneas, etc might have a hard time with Glass, though I'm guessing.

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DataDirect in job slash bloodbath

Michael Hawkes
Headmaster

Marketing VP?

Does the marketing VP get paid by the word? The response is so padded with unnecessary words, it makes me think he (or the company) is dishonest to some extent.

"In order to continue to maintain solid double digit growth..." "To continue to maintain," is a bit redundant. "Solid," is solid word count padding worthy of a college freshman. "In order," isn't necessary. "To continue double digit growth..." means the same thing, but exhibits brevity.

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