* Posts by Michael Hawkes

123 posts • joined 5 May 2009

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El Reg's mighty rocket spaceplane Vulture 2 arrives in US of A

Michael Hawkes
Pint

Beers in Colorado

You should have no problem finding great beer in Colorado. There are lots of brewpubs and microbreweries. As a former Colorado Springs resident, my favorite was Laughing Lab Scottish Ale from Bristol Brewing.

Have fun. Cheers.

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Randall Munroe: The root nerd talks to The Register

Michael Hawkes

Re: Randall is not the anti-Kardashian; he's the anti-Zuckerburg

I wouldn't say he doesn't mess with people's heads, after all...

We did not invent the algorithm. The algorithm consistently finds Jesus. The algorithm killed Jeeves. The algorithm is banned in China. The algorithm is from Jersey. The algorithm constantly finds Jesus. This is not the algorithm. This is close.

... appears on every page.

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Michael Hawkes
Headmaster

Re: "period table"

"...after all they miss letters off the end when saying maths."

Brevity, wit, etc.

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FORGET the CLIMATE: FATTIES are a MUCH BIGGER problem - study

Michael Hawkes

Re: How about "Graph Grappling" as descriptor?

Since they're analy(s/z)ing someone else's analysis, maybe it could be "Analysing Analysis". That might be too redundant, even for the Reg, however.

How about "Data in Depth"?

"Featured Figures"?

"Tabulature Tomfoolery"? "Table Tales"?

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Two driverless cars stuffed with passengers are ABOUT TO CRASH - who should take the hit?

Michael Hawkes
Terminator

Using vast quantities of data to predict future events? I think that's been described before. Tell Silicon Valley they're working on practical applications of Asimov's Psychohistory and they might actually try to do it.

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Stephen King, William Gibson and The Quantum Moment

Michael Hawkes

Anathem

Years ago, whenever I felt like re-reading a Neal Stephenson novel, I would pick up Snow Crash or The Diamond Age. After Anathem came out, that became my go-to Stephenson book. There are so many concepts in it, I discover something new every time I read it.

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Amazon bags control of .book and .pay domains – but NOT .cloud

Michael Hawkes
Headmaster

Typo

"...has increasingly be used..." should be "...has increasingly been used..."

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Yorkshire man NICKS 1,000 Orange customer records. Court issues TINY FINE

Michael Hawkes
FAIL

Passwords

I'm wondering why they had presumably plain-text passwords in a database. If that's an indication of their tech knowledge, it becomes easier for me to see why they fell for a social engineering attack.

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The Great Smartphone Massacre: Android bloodbath gathers pace

Michael Hawkes

Pining for the fjords

"Silver isn’t dead, it’s sleeping. Beautiful plumage."

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Mozilla: Spidermonkey ATE Apple's JavaScriptCore, THRASHED Google V8

Michael Hawkes
Thumb Up

Re: IE doesn't work on Mac or Linux (which is where we benchmark right now)

Speak for yourself. At home I have Dells running Linux, plus a few Macs running OS X. At work, we have about a 60/40 split Windows/OS X.

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Yahoo! finally! releases! Flickr! app! for! iPad! BUT! shuns! Windows! fans!

Michael Hawkes
Megaphone

Selective hearing

It's! all! that! shouting! They! can't! hear! a! thing! now!

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Ada Lovelace Day: Meet the 6 women who gave you the 'computer'

Michael Hawkes

Tech reporting

I couldn't help but notice the article was written by a guy (No offense, Gavin), and wondered if the numbers for women writing about technology are as bad as women working in technology. When it comes to gender disparity, is tech journalism as bad as the beat it covers? Has anyone looked at it, or is there any data on it?

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US team claims PARIS paper plane launch crown

Michael Hawkes
Paris Hilton

Re: /me

Do you mean to have PARIS mount LOHAN?

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Michael Hawkes
Childcatcher

Re: Are you really, really sure you want to meddle with the US Army?

It's the Civil Air Patrol, not the Army. They're affiliated with the Air Force, but they're civilians. They're more military-like than Scouts, but a bit less military than Junior ROTC.

Civil Air Patrol at Wikipedia.

The Child Catcher because the cadets are children.

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Don't bother with Apple's 9 Sept hype-day: Someone's GONE AND BLABBED IT ALL

Michael Hawkes
Gimp

My next phone

Several years ago I came into a bit of money and went into fanboi mode, splurging on iGear by buying an iPhone 3GS, a Mac Pro, and a MacBook Pro. I'd never owned Apple products before, and decided to drink the Kool-aid. However, since I fix computers for a living, I became fairly critical of the gear I bought. In less than a year, the MacBook Pro's screen was replaced twice and the logic board replaced once, all under warranty. I've never had as many issues with any other laptop. At work, I use a newer MacBook Pro which has worked very well for me for the past three years, but when it came time to shop for a new personal laptop, I bought a Project Sputnik Dell.

Now my iPhone 4S is starting to show signs of age. The back glass panel is coming a bit loose, so I'm keeping an eye out for new smartphones. At the moment, I'm leaning towards the Motorola Ara, whenever that comes out, while keeping an eye on what Apple will announce. Among Android, and even WinPho products, there is such a wide selection of hardware to choose from, so it feels pretty limiting to stick with Apple's limited range of phones. On September 9th, I guess we'll find out if they really do have new ideas.

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Amazon smacks back at Hachette in e-book pricing battle: We're doing it for the readers

Michael Hawkes

Not for readers

Amazon's doing it for profit, not for readers. I think they don't care whether people read books or not, as long as they keep buying them.

Since Disney owns Marvel and the future of the Star Wars films, it will be interesting to see what happens with that dispute.

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Freeze, Glasshole! Stop spying on me at the ATM

Michael Hawkes
Childcatcher

BREAKING NEWS!

People with cameras can record what you're doing.

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Firefighters deliver trapped student from GIANT GERMAN LADYPARTS

Michael Hawkes

Perhaps he wanted to engage in some up-close

examination, not knowing that he must use the

necessary equipment. After all, he's a student,

isn't he? Having to be extracted is really quite

sad.

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So, what exactly defines a 'boffin'? Speak your brains...

Michael Hawkes
Boffin

Re: Biological sciences

I disagree with your idea that biological sciences don't breed boffins. I work with several who are researching diseases related to eyes and vision. For example, one of them is working out why certain proteins seem to cause retinal neovascularization, and trying to determine if blocking the production of those proteins will stop neovascularization. That kind of work might lead to treatments for certain types of blindness (age-related macular degeneration, in particular).

These Ph.D.s are conducting basic science in labs: making observations, formulating hypotheses, devising experiments, and reporting results.

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Watch: Kids slam Apple as 'BORING, the whole thing is BORING'

Michael Hawkes
Headmaster

Are you expecting children to already know how to design processors, PCBs, etc., before they go to college?

Do you have incredibly high-standards, or do you believe this knowledge is passed on genetically?

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Tech that we want (but they never seem to give us)

Michael Hawkes
Joke

Re: Isn't that mico-USB and now mandatory in the EU?

If a 9-pin serial port is good enough for Nigel Farage, it's good enough for me.

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EE unleashes birds of prey onto unsuspecting customers

Michael Hawkes
Headmaster

Maybe it's a regional thing, but I've always thought buzzard = vulture = condor = birds-of-prey with featherless heads.

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Microsoft walks into a bar. China screams: 'Eww is that Windows 8? GET OUT OF HERE'

Michael Hawkes
Black Helicopters

Payback

I wonder if this is indirect payback against the US government for accusations against some Chinese officials.

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Customer sues Nimbus Data for 'breach of contract' over arrays

Michael Hawkes

Public testimonial

In the upper right corner of the quote it says "Quote contingent on a public testimonial within 30 days of installation". I wonder if Maximus supplied a public testimonial, or if that's what the lawsuit is supposed to be.

Also, it's nice to see an article about lawsuits that don't involve patents. Patent lawsuits seem like tedious, drawn-out flamewars. Breach-of-contract seems a bit more straightforward.

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Crypto-guru slams 'NSA-proof' tech, says today's crypto is strong enough

Michael Hawkes
Black Helicopters

NSA seal-of-approval

"We don’t need any new NSA-proof protocols. Any well-designed, appropriately-deployed protocol is NSA-proof."

Or so the NSA would have us believe. Even as far back as Caesar, there has been a conflict between the codemakers and the codebreakers. It's in the NSA's interest to have people believe there are NSA-proof protocols. Codemakers should keep trying to push the state-of-the-art in encryption. If they aren't, they're not doing their jobs.

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Cloud computing is FAIL and here’s why

Michael Hawkes
Devil

Re: Sorry, but you are incorrect Alistair.

And who wants to be responsible for that?

Wow! Is that an option? Where does the line start?

OTOH, they'd probably start Hunger-as-a-Service and make billions (think of it as the modern equivalent of selling indulgences.)

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James Bond producers sign on for Edward Snowden movie

Michael Hawkes

IMO, Chris Pine (a/k/a the new James T. Kirk) would be a good choice. He's not all over the place, so he would probably straddle the fine line of being well-known and being cheap (relatively speaking). Give him some glasses and a beard, he can do the job.

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Now that's PROPER SCIENCE: Boffins teach robo-arm to catch flying beer bottle

Michael Hawkes
Terminator

As foretold...

It's only a matter of time before Krikkit gets involved in this technology.

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Hey sailor, fancy putting your hands all over a NeRD fondleslab?

Michael Hawkes
Headmaster

"...the tablet would allow soldiers..."

Navy personnel are sailors, not soldiers.

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Stephen Hawking: The creation of true AI could be the 'greatest event in human history'

Michael Hawkes
Terminator

Re: two words

"Here I am, brain the size of a planet... Call that job satisfaction, 'cause I don't."

Where's the Marvin icon when you need it?

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Cloudera, MongoDB go on a Big Data date, fall in love, jump in bed

Michael Hawkes

What's in a name?

Mondera sounds like the name of a family sedan.

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SAVE THE EARTH... give all your iThings back to us, begs Apple

Michael Hawkes
Childcatcher

Greenwashing

If they really wanted to make environmentally friendly products, they'd design them to be easily repaired/upgraded so people wouldn't need to buy new ones so often.

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Innovation creates instability, you say? BLASPHEMY, you SCUM

Michael Hawkes
Headmaster

Buzz, buzz, buzz

Innovation and convergence are the new paradigm (in more ways than one).

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Survey: Just 1 in 3 Euro biz slackers meets card security standards

Michael Hawkes
Headmaster

...based on real actual casework...

"Real actual"? Is the author getting paid by the word?

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Aer Lingus opts for Tegile arrays, snubs EMC in shock move

Michael Hawkes

Charlie Mingus

The legendary jazz musician.

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Reading this headline? You and 9.47 million others

Michael Hawkes

It's not what you think

IMHO, they're more frightened by words like hexadecimal and sysadmin.

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Factories are too DULL for Google's robo-dreams: Behold the GATAMAMs

Michael Hawkes
Devil

Re: Google, take this deal please

Playing devil's advocate here, the problem with people is that they have "rights" and can complain to the government if they feel those rights have been abused. A robot doesn't have these rights (not yet, anyway). Unemployed people might be cheap labor, and even desperate for work, but it's still possible they might complain about some aspect of employment. Therefore, it makes more sense to use robots for some jobs, because robots can't complain.

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Julie Larson-Green: Yes, MICROSOFT is going to KILL WINDOWS

Michael Hawkes

Licensing

I'd be more impressed if they simplified their licensing schemes. IMHO, if your licensing is so complex that you created "licensing specialist" as a job title and certification, then you're doing something wrong.

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Google's Schmidt predicts end to global censorship in a DECADE

Michael Hawkes
Big Brother

Google

If censorship ends, it will be in spite of Google, not because of it. It's in its corporate interests to comply with governmental orders, where smaller, nimbler organizations can take greater risks because they have less to lose.

Big Brother because Google is watching.

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Arm-wave bye BYE! Apple grabs Kinect flail-sensor maker for $345m

Michael Hawkes
Thumb Up

Sign language

Maybe Siri will get be able to work with sign languages in the future. One of many possibilities, I imagine.

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El avión Buitre 2 rinde homenaje a nuestros amigos españoles

Michael Hawkes
Thumb Up

International

I can see the Register is trying to gain international support for its plans to become the first tech website in space. By the third iteration, I hope they have their VOIP (Vulture-over-internet-protocol) tech finally ready for the masses.

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Sail HO! Look out Bay Area - it's the GOOGLE GALLEON

Michael Hawkes
Pirate

Preparing for battle

They plan to engage with and destroy the Crimson Permanent Assurance. It's Eric Schmidt's plan for revenge dating back to when he was a Midshipman for Bell Labs.

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Google told: ERASE Mosley's FIVE-HOOKER ORGY. Now everyone will view it AGAIN

This post has been deleted by a moderator

I survived Spiceworld 2013, heat and all: Here's how I did it

Michael Hawkes
Paris Hilton

tl;dr

So it's, like, a Spice Girls convention, right?

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Google Helpout live vids: Helping you help us help ourselves, says web giant

Michael Hawkes

A few questions for Google

What's the best way to protect my Gmail from NSA snooping?

How can I remove all Google products from my Android phone?

If 42 is the answer, what is the question?

At what point did Google stop giving a s**t about the "Don't be evil" slogan?

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Adobe exec puffs cloud shop: Online features are so 'compelling'... What are they again?

Michael Hawkes
Devil

Apropos

Yesterday Adobe asked me to fill out a survey regarding CS6 and Creative Cloud. I told them I had no intention of buying, installing, or recommending Creative Cloud because their software isn't compelling enough to warrant taking out a subscription. For most of the people I deal with, Gimp and Scribus are sufficient for their needs. You don't need Photoshop if all you're going to do is crop a photo.

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In a meeting with a woman? For pity's sake DON'T READ THIS

Michael Hawkes
Facepalm

So, you're assuming they're not taking notes then? Maybe you should look at mobile use at meetings and presentations as a sign that you've said something interesting and they want to jot it down for future reference.

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Shadowy drug fans threaten FBI agents, vow to 'avenge' Silk Road shutdown

Michael Hawkes
Black Helicopters

Imitation is the ...

Considering how TOR works, it would be possible for multiple sites named Silk Road to appear, each with different ownership. Some might even be run by the DEA (or other govt agencies).

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Dear Apple: Want to stay in business? Make an iPhone people can afford

Michael Hawkes
Gimp

Fiats

Following that idea, maybe instead of introducing a low-end iPhone, maybe Apple should create a new lower-end brand, and put iOS on its devices. That way they wouldn't 'taint' the Apple brand with inexpensive products by creating a new gateway drug opening a new market.

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Look out, world! HP's found a use for Autonomy - rescuing Win XP bods

Michael Hawkes
Windows

The wrong way

They could probably make a lot of money by starting to Windows Updates for XP. I know several companies that are still using XP and aren't inclined to move to something else. If the cost of buying updates from Autonomy (or whoever) is less than the cost of upgrading hundreds or thousands of PCs to Windows 7, many companies would probably jump at the chance.

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