* Posts by Mongo

551 posts • joined 26 Apr 2009

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Intel tests definition of insanity with (leaked) typoslab Skylake CPUs

Mongo
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Re: The definition of insanity ...

Quite so - and at the least Intel chipping away in the portable space means ARM can't rest on its laurels, so whatever device I do buy is more awesomer.

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SPACESUIT, once FOUND ON MOON: Crowd action saves it for the public

Mongo
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"exact replica" in a production assistant's fevered imagination

Given how complex and expensive a real spacesuit is, at best it will be "looks pretty darned similar from a distance, under the right lighting and viewing angles" (because unless you're Stanley Kubrick nobody will bankroll detail beyond that)

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Mongo
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Next KickStarter should be for America's first astronaut's suit

i.e. Alan Shepherd's - famously flooded with wee after the short suborbital lob got stretched beyond endurance by hours of pre-launch holds.

"If you put your ear to his helmet you can hear the distant roar of a Redstone rocket, and if you put your nose you can ... appreciate just how often even rocket science proceeds through trial and error!"

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Hold that upgrade: Critical bug in .NET 4.6 'breaks applications'

Mongo
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Not just you or the other thread above - many a bug involving uninitialised variables or inadvertently depending upon stack layout or thread synchronisation is only revealed in optimized builds, so a common recommendation is debugging on debug builds, testing mostly on release builds (excepting those tests that can only be performed on debug builds, e.g. due to additional supports). Basic precept is you should test what you expect the users to actually run; they won't much care that it's a compiler bug. So the "sensationalism" comment above was perfectly justified too.

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Google bows to inevitable, stops forcing Google+ logins on YouTubers

Mongo
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Those nagging "join us" dialogs

I always felt they could be reworded roughly:

We've noticed you've withstood the Chinese Water Torture so far. Would you now like to yield, or hold on for your next drip?

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Happy 30th anniversary, Tengen! Your anti-DRM NES chip fought the law, and the law won

Mongo
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"several thousand tedious you-tube videos"

Amen and a thousand +1s - if only 1 in 68 videos actually added any value over simply reading the text. If I really want them I can always add the nervous giggles and awkward pauses myself, along with an appropriate level of hyperbole, some totally rad street argot, and I'll cross my eyes a few times to simulate the wonky automatic focus control.

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Mongo
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"the court ruled that reverse engineering was protected"

Although oddly it seems in the triggering case that reverse engineering hadn't sufficed and good old fashioned fraud was resorted to (the false copyright claim to examine Nintendo's trade secrets) I guess the court was saying that reverse engineering would have been a fair practice instead, ie through it Tengen might have prevailed?

Of course it's somewhat moot in these protectionist DMCA days, with the full horrors of the new trade agreements yet to be unleashed (maybe TTIP's proponents are right and corporations won't resort to damage claims whenever a government tries to balance consumer interests against them. Maybe...)

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US State of Georgia sues 'terrorist' for publishing its own laws ... on the internet

Mongo
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Re: Land of the free™

I'll start using just the moment it seems to be true.

So don't plan on getting rich anytime soon...

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Boffins go to FUNGI town: Riddle of 100-year-old HAIRY, ICY dead wood finally cracked

Mongo
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I suspect I never shall understand the mentality that adding to our understanding of the world somehow subtracts from its beauty.

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Mongo
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Re: Curious,,,

Curious too - but mostly why someone who confuses an ellipsis with a row of commas and can't be bothered with apostrophes takes a poke at a trivial typo under the guise of being puzzled?

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Crazy Chrysler security hole: USB stick fix incoming for 1.4 million cars

Mongo
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Grounds for a gross negligence charge?

So Chrysler deemed the patch to be just an optional nicety whereas the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration (once actually told about it, apparently not by Chrysler) issued an urgent mass recall for it. That seems far beyond a trifling innocuous difference of opinion and either a knowing cover-up or incompetence beyond the point of negligence (at least one responsible adult is required per registered company...)

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ICANN further implicated in .Africa controversy

Mongo
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So the lying liars lied about lying about lying?

Or have I dropped a layer of the bullshit onion?

(for a logic puzzle just need to add a guard who always answers truthfully, though good luck finding him in ICANN)

Thanks to Kieren for all these articles - obviously a lot more work than reheating press releases or cherry-picking climate stories but also makes for much more compelling El Reg reading

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Now car hackers can bust in through your motor's DAB RADIO

Mongo
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Yet again poor design and great hacking reveals me as a muppet

As the designated geek, over the years I've answered many a question from family worried by the latest laughable Hollywood depiction of computers and hacking. Some top misses from my back-catalogue...

No, you won't get infected just by opening a mail...

Just looking at a picture? I think that's quite safe...

That's a PDF, so it's much safer than a Word file because it doesn't run macros...

A proud legacy of overconfidence ... So clearly my next triumph will be:

Hacked just by driving a new car? No, there was only a single vulnerability but thanks to the good fundamental design of the car's data bus it was swiftly fixed and in the meantime was easily avoided by switching off RDS traffic reports...

My best hope is that the aggressive bluetooth scanning by trojan on my phone interferes too much with the car radio (I got rid of the trojan last week but the worm on my smart TV reinfected it, and the rooted smart meter on my house is blocking my attempts to download a clean TV image...)

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ROBOT SEEDS to be scattered into upper atmosphere of JUPITER: NASA scheme

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Google swears blind it doesn't give SEO advantage to new internet dot-words

Mongo
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If you can't take the word of a snake-oil salesman...

It's pretty dispiriting, actually. These keen young salesmen, understandably a little zealous in bringing these AMAZING MONEY-MAKING SECRETS TO YOU EXCLUSIVELY, work tirelessly in your interest to HELP YOU REALISE YOUR ASPIRATIONS and all you can do is sneer at the new domain market...

Just think: with just a little puffery from each of us we could soon build a huge bubble together, WORKING FROM HOME IN OUR SPARE TIME LIKE THIS WOMAN FROM RIMJOB, WISCONSIN WHO IS NOW DEBT-FREE

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Dumb MongoDB admins spew 600 TERABYTES of unauthenticated data

Mongo
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Trollface

Re: Check your access!

Oooooooooh, looky here! It's Mr Let's-Stop-Innovating-At-The-Speed-Of-Thought come to lecture us on his grandpaw's best practices and testing and documentation and probably on wearing braces with his seersucker pants. Dontcha know that all the cool kids now break-before-make? Dare to fail, not fail to dare!

As Oskar WildeXploit wisely put it: the only thing worse than having your users' data scarfed via a trivially detectable cockup is not having a high enough user growth accelerator to get bought out by Googbook.

[dropping my snark for a moment ... in the evergreen "Up the Organization" Robert Townsend recommended that senior bods should try phoning themselves to learn just how their fiefdom appears to the outside world]

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Ant-Man: Big ideas, small payoff

Mongo
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Re: Personally...

you jest, but at least the wintry goat film would likely have some striking moments and images and pop back into your head unbidden for another mull. Whereas with the current rash of "Things Explode!" flicks I find I can look at the DVD box months and be unsure whether I saw this one, or that one, or the other, since neither the photos nor the plot summaries provide enough distinction to be sure.

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NASA boffins peer at Pluto: Could it be ... is that ... OATMEAL?

Mongo
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Re: Now we know...

I see this as solid confirmation that porridge is alien jism, and I was right all along to avoid eating it!

Score: spoiled brat 1, common sense, good health and my long-suffering parents nil

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Mongo
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New Horizons is currently measuring as it orbits the far side of the planetoid"

The only thing New Horizons is orbiting is the centre of the galaxy (unless by a series of miraculous slingshots it gets captured by another solar system in a few thousand or million years). I think you mean it's peering at Pluto's rapidly dwindling backside?

But +1 for "planetoid"; cracking good Defender clone and a fine sample of Acornsoft's heyday. Time to fire up "BeebEm" :-)

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Ex-MIT prof jailed for 'making experimental film' about bank robbery. In a bank. Without saying it was a film

Mongo
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Re: Wait, the guy robbed a bank...

I used to take more from the "Monopoly" bank (when my sister wasn't looking)

That was for an art project too: "Untitled" (1978; materials rainy afternoon, sitting-room carpet, game board, rotten little brother)

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Unredacted: ICANN's hidden role in fierce battle over .Africa rights

Mongo
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"info provided ... marked as confidential by one of the parties"

At least this is consistent with the rest of ICANN's "investigation": take the party's word for it without any further question.

We'd all like to face such empty "justice", where anything that reveals us as corrupt shits can simply be deemed "confidential" at our own behest. I guess that if my business model includes taking bribes then this would be "commercially confidential" and so forever safe from public scrutiny?

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Apple proffers FREE iCLOUD SUBS to tackle Greek debt crisis

Mongo
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It's just the drug dealer model

"Hey friendo, have a hit on me anyway, you can pay me later!"

(comment also applies to national debt...)

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New Horizons: We've got a pretty pic of Pluto. Now let's get our SCIENCE on

Mongo
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Flirting with a circular justification

I'm as giddy as a schoolboy over this mission (too young for Apollo, Viking and Voyager so this is the first mission and likely only mission I've seen to a virgin planet - spatia incognita), but I don't think it's value should be proclaimed through "New components had to be developed, materials that will be very useful for future space missions." If somebody thinks this mission is a waste of money then you won't change their mind by telling them that the real benefit is piloting for other such missions.

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Adobe: We REALLY are taking Flash security seriously – honest

Mongo
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Re: Good grief

your right theirs no surprise that Abode Software is so bad when not even the queens english holds it's place in our hearts. what happened too pride in our industry??? epoch powell was right!!!

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PLUTO FLYBY: Here's your IT angle, all you stargazing pedants

Mongo
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So there's just no practical way to increase the data rate much?

Guess we'll just have to move Pluto closer for the next mission.

(space is just so damn big and empty that, per Hofstadter's Law, it boggles me to contemplate even when I think I've pre-boggled myself. Unless wormholes and ansibles come to save us I fear humanity will live and die out here in the solar system, just possibly managing to exchange very slow postcards with alien penpals)

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Hacking Team: Oh great, good job, guys ... now the TERRORISTS have our zero-day exploits

Mongo
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Coffee/keyboard

"Before the attack, Hacking Team could control who had access to the technology..."

Thank you! Thank you! Oh, you've been a great audience tonight, it's truly been a pleasure telling our jokes to you, but all good things must end and now Hacking Team has to fuck off pronto and stop telling such pathetic lies to an audience as clever as this, who wouldn't actually believe for a moment that nobody else in the whole world could be resourceful enough to find exploitable bugs in the Flash runtime and that all of the staff of all our customers in all of the thugocracies we hawk our wares to are intelligent, diligent, and trustworthy...

g'night!

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Tech bubble? Pah. IPOs just return cash to early-stage investors

Mongo
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Three possibilities...

1) The companies aren't profitable, this is apparent to the careful reader, but muppet investors stampede in anyway

2) They aren't profitable but fake it wildly

3) They are profitable but rather closer to sedate middle-age: making money but already big so long past the stage of buy-5%-of-next-megacorp-for-a-pittance

You'll note that the second case is Madoff, whereas what's being talked about here is the third...

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'Real' vampires reluctant to 'come out of the coffin' to social workers – barmy prof

Mongo
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Very impressive work by Prof Williams!

Usually I'd dismiss the subjects of such a study as "the biggest shower of self-indulgent wankers". But clearly in this case that epithet belongs to the research team.

It turns out that the true power of mirrors over vampires is that they realise that there's a sociologist standing behind them....

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Les Américains order a MEEELLION doughnuts ... from French baker

Mongo
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Baldrick has a cunning plan...

using unusually small donuts to cater to the delicate, finicky, lady-like appetites of Mr & Mrs Flyover-State...

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Assange™'s emotional plea for asylum in France rejected

Mongo
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> Imagine Assange in Paris

It would still be reckless endangerment to remove the condom. However in this case the peril would be all his...

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Engineers 3D-print ROBOT SEAHORSE, then SMASH it with rubber mallets

Mongo
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Are the military and/or their really presumed to be thickos?

The way "defense" is listed as a separate application field to robotics and biomed. imagine the scene:

Head of research excitedly announces: "We now understand how to build stronger, more agile robots!"

(no reaction from the Chief of Staff, who keeps idly toying with his cigar cutter)

HoR: "For super-soldiers!"

CoS looks up like puppy promised a walk

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French privacy cops snarl at websites over crap EU cookie warnings

Mongo
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Yep-I-already-know

I'm fed up with these click-through warnings that are so ubiquitous that they amount to "This website also uses cookies". It doesn't seem to achieve anything for me - and as usual the really bad actors will hack around the letter of the law or simply ignore it. So I'd like my browser to set a "yep-I-already-know" field on all GETs.

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NASA's New Horizon probe rudely fires its thruster at gnome planet

Mongo
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Re: "Everything is going extremely well"

"I am putting myself to the fullest possible use, which is all, I think, that any conscious entity can ever hope to do."

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Yikes! Facebook will run on TELEPATHY, thinks Zuck, in Q&A

Mongo
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I think Mark [Zuckerberg, sadly not 85] will get yet richer?

And (stealing from a palaeolithic Steve Bell cartoon on trickle-down economics) if he uses that wealth to eat an enormous meal and then farts at the end it creates a richer atmosphere for us all.

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KRAKKOOM! SpaceX Falcon supply mission to ISS EXPLODES minutes after launch

Mongo
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Stirring stuff

The tank stirring likely saved the Apollo 13 crew: the tanks needed regular stirs (else wouldn't have had stirrers fitted) but on a slower schedule. However the tank sensors were giving bogus readings so NASA had them do additional stirs in the hopes of getting sane readings. If the insulation sparking had occurred with the normal stirring schedule then the spacecraft would have been entering lunar orbit when the explosion occurred, meaning that it would need the service module's rocket engine to get them back to Earth. And that engine was damaged in the explosion...

So stir, Swigert, stir! :-)

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Tower of BT Bubbly: Fancy nibbling atop a strategic data hub?

Mongo
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Re: Is it safe or not?

I doubt it's really driven by terrorist fears now, since we trust scanning / surveillance to keep aeroplanes and Westminister safe. My guess is that it's partly a matter of convenience (not an enormous money spinner on BT's scale and keeping access routinely open may impede telecoms work, or just get in the way of senior staff jollies) and possibly also related to building codes, health-and-safety etc: sporadic limited invite-only noshes with guests signing a waiver may be allowed under conditions where a normal restaurant wouldn't be.

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Anakin Skywalker chased by cops, crashes podracer into tree

Mongo
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> you're supposed to use "Police Service", force sounds too aggressive

The 70s (or at least the Monty Python version) were a more manly time - the Papperbok had a recruitment form for the British Police with the section:

Tick force of interest:

[ ] London Metropolitan

[ ] Counties

[ ] Brute

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Are ALIENS hiding on Jupiter's Europa? Let's find out, cry NASA bods

Mongo
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The black monolith detector is already finished

If the lander comes suddenly hurtling back we've found one. Especially if it has a "No junk probes or other unsolicited mail" sticker attached.

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Heinz cockup sees Ketchup's QR codes spurt saucy sites

Mongo
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"You say toe-MAH-toe, I say toe-MAY..."

"...sweet-mother-of-mercy-he'll-never-fit-that-in-there"

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Airbnb beats actual posh hotel chain with stupidly large valuation

Mongo
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> civil servants ... to use sharing economy solutions to book accommodation and transport

And of course as part of the Leadership-with-a-capital-L that we hear so much of, the Cabinet & assorted senior wonkers will be leading this initiative from the front? Or is it yet another do-as-we-say-not-as-we-do endeavour, seemingly designed to eradicate any remaining goodwill among the rank & file?

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BOOM! Stephen Elop shuffled out of Microsoft door

Mongo
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Friends, Romans, Countrymen!

Truly I come to bury Elop, not to praise him!

(and it would take a veritable honey-tongued Mark Anthony to whip this here crowd into riotous indignation at the fall of Nokia's Caesar. Probably have better luck opening a backstabbing knife concession)

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Pirate Party founder: I wanna turn news into a series of three-line viral gobbets

Mongo
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Re: The Consumer.

There's a classic short story (Asimov?) where an entrepreneur notes that people don't really like paying attention to the news but they dislike even more feeling out of the loop. So he starts selling the ultimate Reader's Digest of news: all the stories of the day boiled down to a single nonsensical word by patented process: the happy consumer reads "pudquitch" at breakfast and goes about their day feeling informed.

(now I wish I could find it again - searching finds nothing but infinite blogspam on becoming a writer. Maybe some commentard blessed with functioning brain cells knows the story's name?)

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Apple no-pay-for-plays streaming risks indie boycott

Mongo
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It's actually an experiment in metaphysics

Some believe that a "spirit" survives the death of the body and can interact with the living, others hold that spirits exist but pass immediately from this world, still others reject all "ghost in the machinery"... So here's Apple running a large public test of whether the notorious Jobs' "reality distortion field" still functions all these years after his death - because surely it would take him & his RDF in person to get this shit sandwich swallowed.

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'It’s irrelevant whether Elon Musk is a dick or not. At least he’s trying to make things'

Mongo
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> Werner von Braun

Bravo! That's an apt and insightful comparison - it's all too easy to lose WvB behind the Lehrer ditty and Dr Strangelove but as you say he went beyond "mere" rocket science to be an astute exploiter of bureaucracies, a marketer of visions, and to patiently play decades-long games. Very much the exemplar of Shaw's "all progress depends upon the unreasonable man"

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Mongo
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People used to say Bill Gates was lucky with the DOS contract

And it's true that lots of things could have scuppered it (if Kindall had been in the office, etc) But as well as lucky he was smart, indefatigable, ruthless, and unswerving in his drive. Given his luck I'd have taken it approximately nowhere, and these characteristics seem evident in Musk too.

I'm glad we have such people around, I hope the systems of law and society can (mostly) keep them on the side of the angels, but I don't think I'd like to be one.

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Mongo
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You know who else he reminds me of??? HITLER!!

(I see your troll and raise you a Godwin)

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Network Services delayed AGAIN. Suppliers: Oh FFS

Mongo
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This has actually happened? Was there a choir of angels hosannahing away? (the on-time thing; the seat thing seems a lot less like a Biblical miracle)

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Sunday Times fires off copyright complaint at Snowden story critics

Mongo
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"We just publish what we believe to be the position of the British government."

said Tom Harper. I do hope he said it with a knowing lascivious wink - a good old-fashioned tart can always do with some broad innuendo.

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US mega-hack: White House orders govt IT to do what it should have done in the first place

Mongo
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The other 17 hacker gangs now hate the 18th

They'd had easy access for years, now some new kids come in knocking things over and (finally) waking up the guard dogs. Probably take them weeks to get new access now!

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Mongo
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Re: Government needs a new department...

But how can we bootstrap the process? Because it's obvious that a Dept for the Obvious is needed, without that dept already in place no action can be taken!

We'll just have to trust to the cornerstone of modern US democracy: give an ungodly amount of money to lobbyists, lie back and think of the children.

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