* Posts by Howard Hanek

90 posts • joined 25 Apr 2009

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Apple Watch users suffer PAINFUL RASH after sweaty wristjob action

Howard Hanek
Linux

Status symbol

I can imagine the spread of wrist rashes so someone who doesn't own a smartwatch can point to it and explain why he isn't wearing one today. Will the rashes come in designer colours too?

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NSA-restraining US law edges closer to reality, leaves just 6.81 billion under mass surveillance

Howard Hanek

Time to Resurrect Dead Languages

Either that or expand cryptology education for personal use.

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Who thinks Microsoft Edge SUCKS? Erm, Microsoft

Howard Hanek

Another New 'Feature'

I anticipate that the Edge 'Sharpener' will be available only in the premium versions.........

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Apple Watch WRISTJOB SHORTAGE: It's down to BAD VIBES

Howard Hanek

OH Dear!

We all know how important our vibrating toys are and how disappointed we are when they don't vibrate when we really, really need it.

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SUPERVOLCANIC MAGMA reservoir BUBBLING under Yellowstone Park

Howard Hanek

Denial

But don't worry about this. The really important issue is excess man made carbon and CO2 emissions and we must make every effort to reduce them by 100%......or something......because the science is settled......or something....something...bad is going to happen to......something.

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LA schools want multi-million Apple refund after kids hack iPads

Howard Hanek
Go

Context

To put the $1.3B expenditure in perspective LA County spent $650M to build one (1) High School so waste is not at all unusual. In fact they probably waste more in a year than the entire budget of a midsized American city. They're very progressive.

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What's Meg Whitman fussing over: The fate of HP ... or the font on a DISRUPTIVE new logo?

Howard Hanek
Windows

Optical Illusion

After staring at it for five or six hours yea, it's agile and transformative as a green rectangle with a name under can be. But I wouldn't suggest this technique be used by HP marketing or their advertising professionals less they be accused of witchcraft or something.

Good thing they didn't use a pentangle instead of a rectangle.

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Why are enterprises being irresistibly drawn towards SSDs?

Howard Hanek
Childcatcher

SSDs as a system partition

I've been using 128GB SSDs as a system partition, backing up daily to a second mechanical data drive for our desktops. I've used this configuration numerous times without problems or data loss by simply not storing data on the SSD.

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Howard Hanek

Not Fit For Production?

I imagine that there are some data centers where spinning wheels sit in the corner just waiting for that mending job......

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Got iOS 8.3 installed? Pssh, you are SO last week… version 8.4 is out

Howard Hanek
Childcatcher

Stable

A place to keep farm animals......

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National Grid's new designer pylon is 'too white and boring' – Pylon Appreciation Society

Howard Hanek
Childcatcher

Question

Are these the same people who used to call themselves "The National Clothesline Appreciation Society"??

I would be interested in reading a copy of the charter and what the leadership's credentials were. How DOES one become and expert on pylons and their applications and WHY in the world would anyone outside of a mental institution desire to create such a 'Society'.

P.S.

I rather like the captioned design

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Microsoft uses Windows Update to force Windows 10 ads onto older PCs

Howard Hanek

Turn Off Windows Automatic Updates

Lately when setting up a new machine with Windows 8.1 I've experienced unrecoverable system failures when permitting automatic updates. Only reimaging the machine and turning off automatic updates and selectively permitting only a few updates at a time gets me to a current, working version.

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ALIENS ARE COMING: Chief NASA boffin in shock warning

Howard Hanek
Big Brother

Just in Time

The U.N. will shortly announce an 'Alien' tax to be levied on every landing no matter where in order to cover the excess carbon costs. A special consumption tax will also be levied on all alien purchases to cover the infrastructure cost they had no part in creating.

Following the revelation that the visitors are fleeing the Intergalactic United Planets will immediately make them the enemies of all liberals and the subject of a criminal investigation by the U.N.

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UK.gov: We want Britannia's mobe-enabled cars to rule the roads

Howard Hanek
Black Helicopters

Matchbox Toys?

Looking at the design it should certainly boost the sewing machine industry for the engines to power those oversize matchbox toys.

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EU Commission looking for ways to DECLARE WAR on Google

Howard Hanek
Paris Hilton

War?

More like the farmer's pigs looking for truffles. I think the never ending quest for revenue and the deepest pockets around motivates the chest pounding, self righteous EU

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So you've been told to build a cloud. No one was fired for buying HP hardware, er, right?

Howard Hanek
Big Brother

Giant Heads Descending

So we can expect her giant head replicas to descend so we can deposit our data into them for transportation to the 'safe' zone where nothing ever dies (violations are punished by aging into dementia).

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Dear departed Internet Explorer, how I will miss you ... NOT

Howard Hanek

Yea

Yea those Spartan helmets do remind me of the Internet Exploder logo. You don't think.....?

When you've been marketing desktop OSes for twenty something years and you've witnessed your users dump your browser first thing off (many because the bad guys have learned how to turn security into a much used joke in a standup's monologue) you begin to look for alternatives yourself.

Like everything MS does it took a loooooonnnnnggggggg time.

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Hello? Police? Yes, I'm a car and my idiot driver's crashed me

Howard Hanek

Another Opportunity

All you hackers out there....imagine the fun of reporting five or six million 'accidents' simultaneously.

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Big Data shocker: Over 6 million Americans have reached the age of 112

Howard Hanek

Howard

How do we reconcile this with declining rocking chair sales? No wonder Supernatural is such a long running show.

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Google Glass DIED from TOO MUCH ATTENTION, Captain Moonshot admits

Howard Hanek
Joke

Astro Tellar

Her parents, the world famous Astrologist team of Penn and Teller never succeeded in their life long quest for compensation from that other, much more successful team of a similar name. Hence her move into technology.

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We need copyright reform so Belgians can watch cricket, says MEP

Howard Hanek

Opportunity

I see an excellent opportunity for the Exchequer to identify all those ex-pat Brits living in Belgium under an assumed name.

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IBM staffers climb over each other in race for redundancy payout

Howard Hanek

The trouble is the people who SHOULD leave stay and the productive people see the opportunity to take the money and run to their next opportunity. Big companies policies and cookie cutter mentality always do them in. Remember for all us dinosaurs Control Data? Developer and manufacturer of the first hard drives? Dead now 30 years.

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Clinton defence of personal email server fails to placate critics

Howard Hanek
Mushroom

Nothing Is Illegal For A High Government Official

Nothing. Absolutely Nothing. In fact people would be flabbergasted if one actually admitted to one. He wouldn't be prosecuted. He'd be sent away for psychiatric evaluation.

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Hackers' delight? New Apple wrist-puter gives securobods the FEAR

Howard Hanek

Apple Watch and Drones

Apple Watch and Drones. A marriage made in........somewhere other than heaven.

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Elon Musk insists Gigafactory's ALL GO as China charging fears hit Tesla shares

Howard Hanek

Those Old Structural Changes

In the spirit of their illustrious ancestor, Ghengis Kahn, China is forcing some 'structural changes' upon Tesla.

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FREAKing hell: ALL Windows versions vulnerable to SSL snoop

Howard Hanek

Windows

Medically I would equate the Windows Operating system to patient suffering the symptoms of advanced syphilis such as severe neurological damage, dementia and running sores. Should we just make out living wills and expect that the wealth of developed nations will suddenly enrich a new criminal class?

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HP gulps down Aruba Networks for $3bn

Howard Hanek

Value?

HP probably could have have bought the island of Aruba for a little more.......and at least the shareholders would have gotten some pleasure out of it. It has lots of clouds surrounding it.

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Microsoft man: Internet Explorer had to go because it's garbage

Howard Hanek
Mushroom

Paradox

So if I'm reading this story in Internet Explorer my web session is 'garbage'? How about I just dump the Microsoft OS and use something that hasn't been force feeding me garbage for years?

Up next, Microsoft Office........

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Didn't the Left once want the WORKERS to get all the dosh?

Howard Hanek

Fruits of Labor

I'm concerned that with the current trend the most common sports injury will be hernia from carrying all that money to the bank or from the weight of all the gold bling they wear......

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PENGUINS are just TASTELESS, say boffins

Howard Hanek

Not to Killer Whales

A survey of Killer Whales would certainly determine which species of penquin had the best taste.

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Apple drives itself round bend: PITIES THE FOOL who inks deal with carmakers – source

Howard Hanek

Tim Cook's Obsession

Ever since seeing the original "Total Recall" Mr. Cook has long wanted to reprise the role of Robert Picardo as the voice of "Johnnycab". He envisions a world filled with "Applecabs" despite the fact that the audience applauded when Arnold ripped his head off.

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NetApp: Don’t know about the hybrid cloud? Then you’re a dummy

Howard Hanek

Poor Johnny

Somewhere in China the notorious dunce cap industry is laboring overtime...The West Coast dock strike will delay the much dredded shipments to Silicon Valley.

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Now Samsung's spying smart TVs insert ADS in YOUR OWN movies

Howard Hanek

Re: Don't think it's a mistake, myself...

I don't think so either

\\insert self serving PSA\\

I think some money changed hands first

\\insert application cover letter and duplicate copies of personal resume\\

If you'd like to subscribe to my newsletter and make a fortune with my exciting new.............

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California Uber Alles: Google wants to become the World Privacy Court

Howard Hanek

With apologies to Ricky Gervais but Google should be credited with the invention of lying......or at the very least its perfection....

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What's that, Microsoft? Yep, a Lumia and Surface SALES BOOM

Howard Hanek

Microsoft Executives should outsource a coffin making business using all those surface slabs and include them as an employee benefit. Maybe they'll get some tax credits for them.......

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Google signs up Sprint and T-Mobile to sell its cellphone plans – report

Howard Hanek

Who Was Their 1st Choice?

Both Sprint and T-Mobile are also rans in the US market with 2nd or even 3rd class service. I don't think Google is really serious about Wireless.

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Sony Pictures email hack: The bitter 'piracy war' between Google and Hollywood laid bare

Howard Hanek

Next up the MPAA goes after Disney for its long history of association with pirates. They want Johnny Depp and Keira Knightly brought to LA in chains for a show trial.

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Guy Kawasaki's guide to social media, Hanif Kureishi's cash crash catharsis and more

Howard Hanek

On social media I froth so much writing text messages that I destroy devices at an incredible rate. Does anyone have a solution? Else it's back to crayons and snail mail.

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It's BLOCK FRIDAY: Britain in GREED-crazed bargain bonanza mob frenzy riot MELTDOWN

Howard Hanek

It appears the cultural disintegration is advancing at an ever increasing rate don't you think? Blame it on the immigration policies. Importing greed and mob frenzy is just another unintended consequence you see.

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Google Chrome on Windows 'completely unusable', gripe users

Howard Hanek

Re: I use Chrome, as it's still the best browser.

With the addition of the 'background' programs now loaded by default the probability of system instability increases dramatically. I've noticed a degradation in performance even after blocking all the background nonsense I never wanted or needed. Comparing the code to something like Opera you can literally see the differences in architecture.

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Howard Hanek

Spying is complicated. They'll ask for another 100K H1B Visas. That should solve the problem.

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Scientists skeptical of Lockheed Martin's truck-sized FUSION reactor breakthrough boast

Howard Hanek

Is it possible that Lockheed isn't divulging details because, (cough) they are IN BUSINESS to make money? Just a thought but, call me crazy, they expect to sell these things faster than iPhones and for a LOT more money.

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OK, we get the message, Microsoft: Windows Defender splats 1000s of WinXP, Server 2k3 PCs

Howard Hanek
IT Angle

I look forward to many such 'mistakes' in the future. Another unlooked for 'feature' in Windows.

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UK.gov! frets! over! Yahoo! exodus! to! RIPA-free! Dublin!

Howard Hanek
Flame

Wrong Move

Perhaps in order to address privacy concerns Yahoo should move their European Hdqrs to Moscow or Sevastapol.

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ZEPPELINS to replace Goodyear blimps in American skies

Howard Hanek

Real American

So it's a German airship with an American logo. Right.

American's are used to things like that. We have a Kenyan citizen with an American logo who's ego is the size of that blimp. And he's seen everywhere.

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Twitter shares tank as blabbergasm implodes in full glare of unforgiving investors

Howard Hanek
Headmaster

I Love New Words

I can't WAIT to see the meaning of the word blabbergasm in a forthcoming dictionary. A state of sheer ecstasy while engaging in social media resulting in a flood of effluent. Usually after using a controlled substance. A condition common to Twitter users.

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Yahoo! Mail! users! change! your! passwords! NOW!

Howard Hanek
FAIL

Somewhere in the Clouds.......

Someday Britain will wake up and find that the London Financial District has been successfully migrated overnight to Lagos. Fortunately being an English speaking country business will continue uninterrupted and Abu Dabai will purchase the vacant real estate from the owners for a pittance. Britain will then apply for membership in the African Union.....

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Windows 8.1 becomes world's fourth-most-popular desktop OS

Howard Hanek
Coat

All those unopened, shrink wrapped boxes gathering dust on Admin's storage closet shelves awaiting disposal years hence......

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Yes, Google can afford to lose $9bn in Motorola sale. But did it really?

Howard Hanek
Facepalm

Am I Reading Variety?

The lead in to the story sounds like you recruited writers from Variety? Google's Off Handset Max Tax Axe trick ....or something.....

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Those NSA 'reforms' in full: El Reg translates US Prez Obama's pledges

Howard Hanek
Big Brother

Optical Illusion

As the President's speech progressed it seemed as if the smoke and mirrors came sharply into focus and I remembered how much the truth means to a man who can lie so repeatedly if it serves his purpose. So no, I don't believe his words but will closely monitor his actions.

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