* Posts by Howard Hanek

243 posts • joined 25 Apr 2009

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Official UN panel findings on embassy-squatter released. Assange: I'm 'vindicated'

Howard Hanek
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Childcatcher

The Great Vindicator

....or something. How DO you vindicate hyperbole? Only a GREAT vindicator can accomplish that!

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How many Surface power cords are a fire risk? 2.25 million in the US alone

Howard Hanek
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Happy

Microsoft's Shortage of Electrical Engineers

There ARE ways of designing an electronic device that minimize the dangers of a faulty power system with readily available components. It's NOT rocket science.

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Windows 10 will now automatically download and install on PCs

Howard Hanek
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Childcatcher

Partnership

As one of millions of valued Microsoft Junior Partners we recommend that you..........

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Uni of Manchester IT director resigns after sacking 68 people

Howard Hanek
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Linux

Co-Op Bank?

I can't get this image out of my mind of them issuing books of rubber checks.....

I can see them wanting employees who are 'flexible'.....

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Ginni Rometty to pocket $4.5m bonus for IBM leadership

Howard Hanek
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Headmaster

Logic

Does this mean that if she piles up twice the losses next year she'll receive $9MM?

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Land Rover Defender dies: Production finally halted by EU rules

Howard Hanek
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Pint

Civilization

Sometimes 'civilization' leaves much to be desired and the requirements of an inflexible bureaucracy blinds them to all those emotional factors that makes living a little dangerously such a delicious relish.

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You've seen things people wouldn't believe – so tell us your programming horrors

Howard Hanek
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Holmes

Abstraction

The easiest things to abstract are faulty logic and premises..

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Apparently we have to give customers the warm fuzzies ... How the heck do we do that?

Howard Hanek
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Childcatcher

WWI Tank Photo

I bet IT improved customer experiences............or something

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Apple’s retail chief: ‘Touching customers’ key to retail success

Howard Hanek
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Linux

Makes Perfect Sense

Many Apple customers are already 'touched' so it makes perfect sense to include that in their marketing strategy.....don't you think? That's IF you think....or... not an Apple fanboy and thus incapable of rational thought.

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VMware axes Fusion and Workstation US devs

Howard Hanek
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Linux

Re: Ahh... The ever connected fallacy

I'm typing this reply on my laptop and................................................

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Axe to fall on staff at IBM's Global Technology Services 'this Friday'

Howard Hanek
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Coat

15 Consecutive Quarterly Losses

For a company hawking Global Solutions they seem to be very slow on the uptake don't they? Like a man starving to death decides he doesn't need both arms and legs some 'solutions' accelerate the process of failing and make impossible full recovery.

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Microsoft struggles against self-inflicted Office 365 IMAP outage

Howard Hanek
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Re: Is part of the problem all that abstraction?

Abstraction.....obstruction.....

What difference does it make!

To quote a well known figure......

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Howard Hanek
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Joke

Untapped Market

The Three Stooges are really ripe for a comeback don't you think?

Let's modernize them and depict them working at a technology company, in Redmond, in product development......

-or-

Technical Support troubleshooting the Cloud......

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The next Cuban gristle crisis: US Navy warship powered by beef fat

Howard Hanek
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Re: Spectacular ignorance

Thank you but I suspect that this vessel is more of a danger to itself and it's crew than any hostile. Any naval architect capable of coming up with such a design probably mounted the guns backward.

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Howard Hanek
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Mushroom

History In the Making

Well here's a clue why the Americans will lose the next war to some third world pygmies.

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Squeeze the banana to log into this office Wi-Fi

Howard Hanek
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Childcatcher

Stefan Quit Monkeying Around With the WiFi

....and reset my password again. I must have squeezed it too many times. But I LIKED how it felt.

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How to help a user who can't find the Start button or the keyboard?

Howard Hanek
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Childcatcher

Living Vicariously

Someone brought this article to my attention by printing out the story and then typing in my reply on his computer.

"You shouldn't trust computers you know but you also shouldn't call for help about one when you don't HAVE one."

"And the mental health facility you're housed in shouldn't let you make these kind of telephone calls."

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IBM still on a (downward) roll with 15th consecutive quarterly revenue drop

Howard Hanek
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Happy

Things Could Be Worse

They could have Marisa Mayer as CEO.......

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Microsoft herds biz users to Windows 10 by denying support for Win 7 and 8 on new CPUs

Howard Hanek
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Flame

Microsoft Anthem

I can almost hear the Microsoft Men's Choirs singing their anthem, "Rawhide" to the troops as they code this stuff.

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No escape: Microsoft injects 'Get Windows 10' nagware into biz PCs

Howard Hanek
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Coat

What To Expect Next

Their boffins are probably working on upgrade messages sent through the sewer system.

So that next time you lift the lid you'll be regaled with "Upgrade to Windows 10 Today For Free!"

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Come in Internet Explorers, your time is up. Or not. Up to you

Howard Hanek
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Mushroom

Other Benefits

Hopefully, this could possibly spell the total collapse of the North Korean military machine......

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American cable giants go bananas after FCC slams broadband rollout

Howard Hanek
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Paris Hilton

Delicious Pork

The whole corrupt system has come to resemble a gigantic roast pork prepared by chefs who have perfected their skills over a generation. Their only concern is how thick they can carve for themselves and the size of their portions. The government prefers cuts from the 'power and control' bits while providers want the leanest of cuts.

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Howard Hanek
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Headmaster

A Page Out of the Government's Playbook

They should phony up the stats and claim that the USA is number one. Well, actually number 2 behind China in phony records keeping.

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UK energy minister rejects 'waste of money' smart meters claim

Howard Hanek
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Control

So when will the explosive device implanted in our heads to be expected?

Then we'd all have SMART heads wouldn't we?

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Chinese unleash autonomous airborne taxi

Howard Hanek
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Meh

Public Safety Issues

If they operate them like their motor vehicles we'll witness an additional million fatalities a year.

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Obama: What will solve America's gun problem? What could it be? *snaps fingers* Technology!

Howard Hanek
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Childcatcher

Question

They don't seem to have this problem in Muslim countries. There the Mullah blesses the firearm and exhorts them to go out and shoot something. Twice

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Day 2: Millions of HSBC customers still locked out of online banking

Howard Hanek
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Holmes

Banking 'Bottlenecks'

I always fear that these incidents can be traced to some hacker ring Eastern Europe with the money ending up in some unmarked account somewhere......

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IT security is a safe job? Tell that to Norse staff laid off this week

Howard Hanek
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Childcatcher

Howard

Why is it that "......to better serve our customers...." with fewer people is always 'better'?

So the goal must be to have a staff of one?

Suffering from multiple personality disorder as the ideal?

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Alu Alu! Nokia gobbles French rival Alcatel-Lucent in €15.6bn deal

Howard Hanek
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I Don't Think This Will End Well

The time is rapidly approaching where the only thing the French will do well is insult tourists.

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Cat fight: Watch out YouTube, here comes Facebook

Howard Hanek
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Re: Patient Cat

....the government probably going to start recruiting house cats to watch their masters PCs....

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Howard Hanek
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Patient Cat

....he heard there was a mouse in there somewhere.......

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Microsoft to begin alerting users about suspected government snooping

Howard Hanek
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Happy

More Likely Explanation

I imagine at the suggestion of the NSA Microsoft 'announced' that they were 'considering' alerting MS users to 'possible' government eavesdropping while actually facilitating the governments long list of MS targeted users.....

This would aid their defense from any user class action lawsuits........

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NSA spying on US and Israeli politicians stirs Congress from Christmas slumbers

Howard Hanek
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Flame

Blackmail and Extortion

How do you THINK the Obama Administration has been so successful in getting even the most unpopular, partisan issues through Congress?

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Feeling abandoned by Adobe? Check out the video editing suites for penguins

Howard Hanek
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Joke

Preferred Equipment

Looking at the captioned picture I wondered if Penguins more readily pose for a camera with a fish eye lens.

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Intel completes epic $16.7bn Altera swallow, fills self with vitamin IoT

Howard Hanek
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Horses and Carts and Things

Whatever happened to identify a need, create a product to fulfill it and then mass produce it?

There's a whole new future evolving in things that require micro processors that don't sit on a desk.

There's a lot of people walking around with half a brain that need help fulfilling their vast personal void.

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You’re clever? But are you clever enough to give a Reg lecture?

Howard Hanek
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Childcatcher

OK

.....but only if I can borrow your excellent set of Legos to REALLY get my point across.......

That seems to work best with El Reg readers........

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Lettuce-nibbling veggies menace Mother Earth

Howard Hanek
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Childcatcher

Turnips

Turnips. Vegans should eat lots of turnips. Soon they'll start to look and act like their diet staple and their moral superiority will disappear. Turnips are NOT morally superior.

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Windows' authentication 'flaw' exposed in detail

Howard Hanek
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Megaphone

A Simple Observation

In the 60s we were presented with the hilarious scenario in 'Get Smart' when Agent Smart would insist the Chief bring down the Cone of Silence. The subsequent disfunctional conversation reminds me of the effects of Security Measures upon many OSs.

Constant diligence of network and user activity, quotas, and applying known patches go a long way to thwarting exploits.....but they require resources that are often considered to be not cost effective.......until they are.

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It's nearly 2016, and Windows DNS servers can be pwned remotely

Howard Hanek
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Happy

MS15-166637588490329a

This update will correct the flaws found in MS15-166637588490329.........

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Final countdown – NSA says it really will end blanket phone spying on US citizens this Sunday

Howard Hanek
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Headmaster

So Their Project Succeeded?

.......they created a pig that really CAN fly?

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Sneaky Microsoft renamed its data slurper before sticking it back in Windows 10

Howard Hanek
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Coat

Yes We Have Telemetry

We don't have confidential data. We have telemetry and we're 'tethered' for our own safety lest we drift off to ........that vast Linux/Android void.

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Remember Windows 1.0? It's been 30 years (and you're officially old)

Howard Hanek
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Windows

Any Day Now

I went to sleep under a tree 25 years ago....thinking about my migration from OS/2.

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Hillary Clinton: Stop helping terrorists, Silicon Valley – weaken your encryption

Howard Hanek
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Attila the Hun probably told the Romans the same thing.......

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Microsoft makes Raspberry Pi its preferred IoT dev board

Howard Hanek
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Childcatcher

History Repeats Itself

Galileo or Raspberry Pi? I know there's millions of Raspberry Pis in use and that they are capable of all the tasks we associate with a computer, data processing and storage, video, networking and ports for peripherals so why would MS choose Intel instead? Control, channel stability? No, just corporate conservatism. Timidity. CYA. All the signs of an organization showing signs of 'maturity'. They're experiencing the business equivalent of 'old age'.

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Yes, GCHQ is hiring 1,900 staffers. It's not a snap decision

Howard Hanek
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Pirate

Right Under Their Noses

I see a possible threat right there in the captioned picture. Possibly terrorist exploding cattle grazing right outside their perimeter. Never mind their climate changing CO2 emissions which we're warned is an even greater threat to our security.

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Apple's OS X App Store downloads knackered by expired security cert

Howard Hanek
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Happy

Yes They Did Assign Someone.....

" But you'd have thought a company with the vast resources of Apple could assign someone to keep an eye on such things."

They did. Steve Jobs

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Microsoft rolls out first 'major update' to Windows 10

Howard Hanek
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Childcatcher

Warning Label

Medical Researchers working on a cure for cancer please don't use a Windows 10 machine........because automatic updates always take precedence...

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MacBooks are so hot right now. And so is Mac OS X malware

Howard Hanek
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Unhappy

Pervasive Computing

Take heart. I believe that the simplest devices such as two tin cans connected by a string would be hacked by our culprits despite being labeled a niche system. Good security requires good practices to minimize the vulnerabilites.

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How Microsoft will cram Windows 10 even harder down your PC's throat early next year

Howard Hanek
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Holmes

Implants Coming

This is beginning to resemble the plot of "Kingsman: The Secret Service" and, by the way, Satya Nadella does resemble Samuel L. Jackson a bit.....

Should we be concerned that the 'free' system won't end in World domination or something?

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Big mistake, Google. Big mistake: Chrome OS to be 'folded into Android'

Howard Hanek
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Flame

Androids Love To Roast Marshmallows

....and WE look like marshmallows to Google.....

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