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* Posts by Laurie

57 posts • joined 3 May 2007

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Bill Gates offends Koreans after sticking hand down trousers

Laurie

Re: Quite

@ Malfeasance (great handle by the way)

The British "please" is an expression of desire so:

Question, "Would you like tea or coffee?"

Answer, "Tea please!" means "I desire some tea."

This must always be followed up with a "Thank you" when offered the cup, as the provider of the requisite beverage has fulfilled his guests desire.

The Americans with "Coffee thanks" have simply abbreviated this process, and are not impolite, though they are thanking some one for asking a question as opposed to thanking them for the coffee itself (which could be awful or may not actually arrive).

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Antarctic ice sheet melt 'not that unusual', latest ice core shows

Laurie
Facepalm

@ catweazle

Did you read you own link? "Actually" he comes from the Navy. The senior service. The chaps in the dark-blue suits. The ones with ships. Not the Army (green suits, no ships).

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Reg man bested in geek-to-geek combat - in World War 3 nerve centre

Laurie
Facepalm

Shhhhh!

We told you not to mention the Burlington/Turnstile/Chanticleer bunker in Corsham!

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Harry Potter's Filch conjures Doctor Who's dead first time-lord

Laurie
Thumb Up

I've seen David Bradley act on stage in a one man show called "The Quiz". He is a tremendous character actor who tends to be under used in film and TV. If anyone can play Hartnell, he can.

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Latest exoplanet discovery is a virtual CLONE of Earth

Laurie
Pint

Re: Slightly frustrating article.

It is irritating that it doesn't mention which star it orbits; however, as Kepler points at the same bit of the sky all the time, it must be located in a 115 square-degree region around where Cygnus, Lyra and Draco meet. So at least you can step outside with the Mk1 eyeball and look in the right place!

Beer icon because with this weather, there's no point in getting a 'scope out - might as well stay in the pub...

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Falling slinky displays slow-motion causality

Laurie
Thumb Up

Re: derogatory terms explained

I hadn't heard that one before, but I love it, and I'm stealing it. Cheers Steve!

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London Blitz bomb web map a hit-and-miss affair

Laurie
Meh

Re: We were mislead by the authorities!

Then why did the Pittsburgh gasometer explosion of 1927 happen? The IRA muppets bodged the Warrington gasworks bombing because they tried to bomb a pressure vessel and a water-tank, not a gasometer which is a low pressure storage device. From the Independent:

"The active service unit travelled to the site, bombs primed, in a van police sources described as a 'shed'. One of the bombs was planted against a water tank. Another failed to breach the skin of a high-pressure gas tank."

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Laurie
Headmaster

Re: Fascinating but.....

@ Spearchucker Jones:

The British didn't invent the concentration camp. Kitchener borrowed the idea from the Spanish re-concentration camps used in Cuba during the war of 1895-1898. They were invented by General Valeriano Weyler y Nicolau. A charming chap whose nick-name was "The Butcher".

Anyone told to move to the camps and who didn't within eight days was considered an enemy and executed.

The wiki article just says that the term became popular during this period, but they already existed prior to the Boer war.

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Laurie
Headmaster

A gasometer is a meter

@ arborlinden: No mate, it isn't. From wiki:

A gas holder (commonly known as a gasometer, sometimes also gas bell, though that term applies to the gas holding envelope alone) is a large container in which natural gas or town gas is stored near atmospheric pressure at ambient temperatures. The volume of the container follows the quantity of stored gas, with pressure coming from the weight of a movable cap. Typical volumes for large gasholders are about 50,000 cubic metres, with 60 metre diameter structures.

@ Lee Dowling: 100% agree with the copper comment, he did precisely the right thing. It's the gullibility of my Grandma (who was 33 in 1940 so not an old lady) that's the point of the yarn!

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Laurie
Mushroom

We were mislead by the authorities!

Or at least my Granny was. During the war, she lived pretty much right next door to the Battersea gasworks. At the hight of the blitz she asked a policeman what would happen should Adolf score a direct hit on the gasometer. Surely everyone would be blown to smithereens?

The plod's response was something like: "There is no need for concern Madam. The gasometer is constructed with a special valve on top, the design of which is to enable the release of the gas in a controlled fashion should a bomb hit it."

Amazingly, the daft old bird believed him and sat out the rest of the war safe in the belief that the gasometer could withstand a full-on strike from a Nazi 500lb bomb!

Despite hearing that story many, many times over the years, none of us had the heart to tell her that the copper just made up some old nonsense to shut her up and make her go away, and she went to her grave still believing it.

(Big blast icon to indicate what would actually have happened as a result of a direct hit on the gasometer...)

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YES! It's the TARDIS PC!

Laurie
Thumb Up

Re: VoIP?

No, but it does have a surprising amount of space for expansion cards.

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Boffins spot 7 ALIEN WORLDS right in our galactic backyard

Laurie
Facepalm

Re: extragalactic exoplanet

Sorry ukgnome; close, but no banana.

The star that that exoplanet (HIP 13044 b) orbits is actually inside our galaxy, and is a mere 2000 light years away. The star originated elsewhere, but was captured by the milky way at some point.

As far as I'm aware, they can't yet detect exoplanets that are actually inside other galaxies.

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Girlfriend 'tried to MURDER ME with her AMPLE BREASTS'

Laurie
Angel

She should apply to work at Dignitas...

...For it would by a good way to go.

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CERN rushes to install new anti-matter hunter

Laurie
Thumb Up

Re: How many KWH

Personally? On hookers and cocaine.

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Premature balloon burst thwarts US paper spaceplane attempt

Laurie
Pint

Re: "Our commiserations...."

Of course they will. It's in the nature of these beer sodden hacks to get down the nearest boozer at any opportunity!

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Black hole spews out 2-million-light-year-long stream of WTF

Laurie
Thumb Up

Re: Nnnnng

*brain melts*

It doesn't have to... this is a distance you can get your head around (sort of).

Assuming you're in the Northern hemisphere on a clear night, take a pair of binoculars (they don't even have to be very powerful) and point them in the direction of Cassiopeia. Find the larger of the 2 triangles that make up the big "W" and follow it down towards the constellation of Andromeda. You should come across a dim oval shaped smudge of light taking up a healthy chunk of your field of view. This is M31 - the Andromeda galaxy.

M31 is about 2.5 million light years away and is one of the furthest things you can see with the naked eye (though it's a lot easier with binos). All you have to do is visualise a bloody great jet of 'WTF' extending from you to M31 and presto! You've visualised something 2 million light years long.

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Skydiver Baumgartner in 128,000ft plunge from brink of space

Laurie
Happy

There's another record he could have got...

...and all he would have had to do would have been to spend some of that 2 hours or so folding a paper aeroplane.

Missed that one Felix, didn'tcha! SPB still rules!

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Barnes & Noble Nook Simple Touch with Glowlight e-reader review

Laurie
Happy

Re: Something not mentioned...

I've got nearly 300 books on my Kindle touch, some of them heavy-duty tech manuals stuffed with images (only really readable on Kindle app for PC).

I've not noticed any performance degradation flitting between the home screen and the text. It's possible that this is because I've split my library down into collections so the screen has less to sort through and display though.

I'd be interested to know under what circumstances the Kindle's performance degrades so that I can avoid them. Anyone got any examples?

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Motörheadphönes ears-in review

Laurie
Pint

Re: who knows....

I second that.

I "heard" them in Guildford Civic Centre circa 1990. It was nothing but white noise until I went to the toilets which were were set in a sort of bunker underneath the building. Happily, a good 30 foot or so of concrete between me and the band improved the sound quality to the extent that I could make out which track they were playing.

I had tinnitus for days.

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Bone-bothering boffins pull TINY fanged dinosaur from drawers

Laurie
Thumb Up

Re: Cat's are great judges of character!

Your right - I've had loads of wives... Been married a couple of times too! ;)

Sometimes things just don't work out Richard. Always treated my spouses well though.

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Laurie

Re: Cat's are great judges of character!

Wow! Sorry to hear about your ex girlfriend Dan, that's always tough.

A few things though:

1) Cats like me, I just don't like them.

2) I'm not afraid of cats, I just don't like them.

3) If you treated your ex girlfriend as a human being instead of just thinking of her as "pussy" maybe she wouldn't have cheated on you.

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Laurie

"Same size as a cat, but somehow less attractive..."

More attractive to me - I bloody hate cats! Love the description "terrifying bitey scrag-beast" though; sounds like my second wife.

Spawn of Satan, 'cause that's what cats are.

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Boffins suggest orbital dust-up to combat climate change

Laurie
Flame

Re: Sky is not dirty enough for him?

Not the stars. The Star. The cloud would be between us and the Sun. Dunno about you, but I use my telescope at night. Mind you, it would probably piss off the solar observers a bit, but that's ok by me 'cause they tend to be a smug bunch of gits anyway...

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Couple rewarded for naming newborn after Elder Scrolls Skyrim hero

Laurie
Pint

So...

Your middle name is "MongFest" then? Cool!

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PARIS concocts commemorative cocktail

Laurie
Paris Hilton

Airhead!

See title.

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Reg Hardware Reader Awards 2010

Laurie
Thumb Up

Deffo Agree.

Despite the current issues about pricing and DRM etc., the Kindle's form factor, massive battery life and 1 click purchasing ability make this gadget a must-have for me when I commute.

No other device has come close to being as convienient and kind on the eyes as this little grey slab.

As the bloke above said: Love it.

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Kids want Santa to bring iPads not consoles

Laurie
Pint

You're my hero!

See title.

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Roman 'Leatherman' spied on web

Laurie

They did...

...It was called the SPQRK. Didn't catch on though, no-one could pronounce it.

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iPad alert: Are you a selfish elite or an independent geek?

Laurie
Grenade

Yep,

I too am wealthy, successful and powerful. I use a PC - and I've shagged your Mum.

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FileMaker Pro squeezes onto an iPhone

Laurie
Jobs Horns

To be fair

"To be fair, FileMaker Pro is *now* available for Windows too" (My asterisks)

To be even fairer, I briefly did some Filemaker Pro/Windows Developments in 1998, and apart from some very minor font issues, it worked with perfectly well, so it's been able to do that for quite a while!

- Evil Steve, 'cause though I'm being fair, I still hate the buggers!

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IT recruiters warn over migration caps

Laurie
FAIL

Typical.

Highly educated you may be, but you can't spell "their" though, can you? And please use a capital "I" when referring to yourself.

Thank you.

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England beat Germany - what are the odds?

Laurie
Thumb Up

Yep!

You know that deep down inside you are.

4-1 = ratio of English/scottish appeances in World cups since '98!

Now excuse me while I go and spend some of your oil revenue on a Brazil shirt... ;)

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Laurie
Flame

Clearly, you are

A small-minded, bitter little haggis-munching knob-end who has the misfortune to live in a country who's pitiful excuse for a team can't even qualify!

We were crap, but at least we were there. Haggistan United - missing since 1998.

Now bore-off and go back to playing with yourself while dreaming of Mel Gibson.

That is all.

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Bloody George's Budget: How bad is it really?

Laurie
FAIL

No.

We're curently in growth, albeit very small, therefore not "in the middle of a recession"

Do keep up.

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The world's ugliest dog is dead

Laurie
Thumb Up

Ok,

So you'd met her too?

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Think you can’t teach an old business UC tricks?

Laurie
Pint

I'm not.

Yet another layer of bullshit in an industry stuffed to the gunnels with it.

Wanna go down the pub?

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Flood, fire at BT Paddington node causes widespread problems

Laurie
Flame

"No problems here in Leeds"

It ain't the Paddington node that's burning - it's your pants!

; P

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McKinnon: The longest ever game of pass the parcel

Laurie
Pirate

If you're naughty...

...don't get caught-ee.

That is all.

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Speaker distances himself from police raids on MP

Laurie

@ AC and Mark

There were 3 warrants and 4 locations. The Sergeant at Arms signed a consent form to allow the Police access to the location that they didn't have a warrant for i.e. Green's offices in the House. Perfectly legal, but very stupid.

I can't believe that the SaA didn't seek advice from a more senior figure. I just don't believe it.

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Daily Mail punts Georgina Baillie filth

Laurie
Thumb Down

Bleurgh!!

...and not the hideously empurpled spam javelin where Russell Brand keeps his brains.

Thanks El Reg. I really needed that image.

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No2ID shakes fist at plod print scanner plan

Laurie

@JonB

> Insurance isn't connected to number plates

- Actually, it is.

When I got pulled over on the M1 a couple of years ago, the copper in the patrol car that stopped me was able to tell me via his motor's on-board computer that I was insured, so all I had to do was produce my license and MOT at the station within 7 days.

You can now renew your road tax both over the 'phone and on-line giving just your license plate number, so MOTs must be linked on the DVLA database too.

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Reg readers rage at comment icon outrage

Laurie
Thumb Up

Dalek!

I'd like to see a Dalek, or something similar, for ROTM related rantings.

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Password pants-off at Lloyds Bank

Laurie
Happy

@ Dr Who

It may interest you to know, Doctor, that the collective noun for bankers is a "Wunch".

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Home Office minister gets tough, then gets stuck

Laurie
Thumb Down

Don't forget the much over used word

- "Robust".

Wankers.

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Added green burden could ground flying cars for good

Laurie

Oi!

F*ck off you lot - I want my flying car!

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Dutch MP releases anti-Islam movie

Laurie

The real "Problem" with Islam...

...is that it doesn't have a central authority figure speaking for it, just a lot of independent national leaders/councils all of whom have their own local agendas. This makes the image of the religion vulnerable to the actions of the violent and vocal minority. A Muslim "Pope" (for want of a better word) would be able to defend the religion from a global platform with an authoritative voice, thus reducing the need for individual groups to hold demonstrations to get their objections across. Currently it is easy for serious debate to be hijacked by the head-bangers and sensationalists on both sides.

It's a real pity, and you can't help but feel that the situation is not going to get any better until something changes.

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'Suspicious comment' provokes LAX terminal evacuation

Laurie

Re Steve Taylor and AC

You're referring to the "Ring of Steel". This was a response to the early '90sbombing campaign by the IRA where they blew up the Baltic Exchange and Bishopsgate. Way back in the '70s, and '80s, it was pretty much business as usual.

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New England Patriots victims of trademark hubris

Laurie
Thumb Up

Well done to Graham Dawson

For 'fessing up with honesty and good humour that he'd got it a little bit wrong.

In the unlikely event that any of our political overlords are reading this: Please note this is how it should be done when you get found out.

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Sidcup massive threatens Reg hack

Laurie
Stop

This is what happens...

...when someone gives amanfrommars access to lager.

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Mayor Ken buys hydrogen buses for London

Laurie
Stop

Woah!

Hang on a mo, what about suicide bombers? Our beloved Mayor has just made it possible for the jihadi menace to multiply the power of their puny IEDs by shedloads!

Maybe the transport wallahs will impose airport style security (with the associated delays et al) before we're allowed to boad the bus.

Just when you thought a crappy service couldn't get any worse... Bah!

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