* Posts by Gordon is not a Moron

205 posts • joined 7 Apr 2009

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Apple antenna guru 'warned Steve Jobs' over Judas Phone

Gordon is not a Moron
Joke

Dear Witty

That should be "spelling\grammar"

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Gordon is not a Moron

Not that I'm a cynic, but..

it's a little hard to get money from the payout to the class action that's being filed if you don't have an iPhone. Just buy a phone, before St Steve admits they made a balls up, sit back and wait for the cheque to arrive.

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God-blocking web filter ironically hard to find

Gordon is not a Moron

It's just front

it's a simple way of collecting the names of heritics and unbelievers, so that they can be tracked down and burnt at the stake. Well they are all going to hell anyway, so why not speed the process along.

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iPhone 4 fix to centre on software, negate need for recall

Gordon is not a Moron

Nice spinning

"Said source claims the problem has been in the iPhone since day one"

So it's not that there is a problem with the iPhone 4, more that iPhone's have always been crap

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iPhone 4 developers get software update, but will it fix death grip?

Gordon is not a Moron

The problem is

no-one knows how they calculate the bar strength, if we use your example as the before who's to say that the after isn't

1 bar : 0 - 5%

2 bars : 6 - 10%

3 bars : 11-60%

4 bars : 61-80%

5 bars : 80% +

This way your iPhone is fantastic as it never drops below the magic 3 bars

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Gordon is not a Moron

I think the Apple boys have been watching Spinal Tap

This software "fix" seems like Spinal Tap's amps in reverse

"Our amps are so loud, we've made them go to 11"

"Why not just make 10 louder?"

"Our amps go to 11"

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Double whammy: The music tax based on deep packet inspection

Gordon is not a Moron

Re: Pfft, never happen

Hate to break the news to you, but that Gorillaz CD you bought, part of the cost to you is an "insurance" put on price by the store to cover defective\stolen stock so to use your words

"you have to paysome monies to the music industry because some people knick CDs"

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Gordon is not a Moron

re: erm... ok...

just two minor, tiny points. Downloading copywritten material is not stealing, nor is it illegal.

Copying a CD is not the same as stealing one. If you steal it, there is lost revenuve plus the cost of buying replacement stock, by copying it the revenue is lost but there are replacement costs. The record labels probably prefer that people shop lift rather than copy, as they take thier cut out of the wholesale price when shops order stuff.

Also it's not a criminal matter but a civil offence, so it would be unlawful and not illegal. Civil cases have lower burden's of proof ( guilt based 'on the balance of probablities' and not 'beyond reasonable doubt') and lower penalties to along with it. The record companies want the to keep the civil burden of proof but impose criminal penalties.

The judge in the $67,500 torrenting fine knew the difference http://www.theregister.co.uk/2010/07/10/p2p_damages_reduced/

as did the Dark Lord Peter Mandelson, when he was pushing the Digital Economy bill through.

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Gordon is not a Moron

Re: All taxes are the same

Oh no they aren't. NI , PAYE & Council Tax are ostensibly there to keep the lights on and provide the basic normal stuff we expect from the Government. The duties and booze, fags, luxury foods & fuel are as much social engineering as revenue raising, these things are bad for you\others therefore we'll make you think twice about buying them by artifically jacking the price up. The ISP levy is a social engineering charge which goes to the music companies and not the Government, well except for the VAT that'll be put on it.

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Gordon is not a Moron
Happy

The four horsemen are on their way

I will put my hands up to being the occasional freetard, but with an ISP levy I'll be subsidising the more frequent freetards which isn't right. Also the non-freetards will be subsidising me, for something they never do, which is bang out of order.

The idea of giving a license to an ISP is good but needs a few changes. The license needs extending beyond just music to include films,tv, books etc. The pricing needs to be looked at closely as the ISP's will still be competing with free "services" whilst the production\distribution costs of the copyright holder are going to be zero. Price it too high, no-one uses the service and the copyright holders turn around with the "all freetards are thieves" canard, to demand shutting down the internet.

And why the horsemen? Well I'm agreeing with Andrew about something, so the Apocalyse can't be far behind.

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Loons speak brains on gov Treasury crowdsource site

Gordon is not a Moron

Just wondering if

the Daily Wail has managed to link it's own festering hate-filled mesage boards directly to the government sites.

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IBM employee sparks massive bank outage

Gordon is not a Moron

They need to employ the BoFH

as he'd have ready supplies of lime, carpet and shovels

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Apple iPhone forums gripped by deleted thread paranoia

Gordon is not a Moron
Jobs Horns

Is it just me...

or does the level 3,4 and 5 users guff sound like Apple have been taking advice from the Scientologist on how to organise thier followers?

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Gordon is not a Moron

That would be the anti-Canute

King Canute was a very sensible, pious and humble ruler who was surrounded by sychophants and toadies who claimed he could do anything. To prove these half-wits wrong he went down to the beach and then got a bit wet to demonstrate that he wasn't more powerful than the seas or God that commanded them.

St Steve is surrounded by the sychophants and toadies (customers) but lacks piety, humility or any common sense by the look s of it.

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Distie thief gets 14 months despite CPS 'incompetence'

Gordon is not a Moron

Re: No statue of limitations

but there is Article 6 of the ECHR, where trials have to be conducted within a reasonable time. And trial delayed by roughly four times the length of the sentence doesn't seem reasonable, to me at least.

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Consumer Reports: 'We were wrong about the iPhone 4'

Gordon is not a Moron

Forget this so called testing lab

Apple should know they are really in it up to thier necks, as Jezza Clarkson referenced the iPhone in this weeks Stig intro. And if that isn't bad news then I'm James May.

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Gordon is not a Moron
Coat

sellotape?

as it's being put on a mobile phone wouldn't that make it a cell-o-tape?

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PCI approval yanked from PIN entry kit

Gordon is not a Moron

Of course this could never happen

Go to make the complex pen holding gesture, only to find the reference version of the complex pen holding gesture is either missing from a new card or is very badly faded and useless for varification. The owner of the card then fills in the reference copy of the complex pen holding gesture and hands it over to the sales assistant who compares the reference and "actual" complex pen holding gestures, sees that they are identical and lets the transaction go through.

And that never happened to me twice.

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SCO rises from the dead (again)

Gordon is not a Moron

Banks and credit

If you owe a bank a few thousand, they'll hound for the cash until your dying day.

If you owe a bank millions they'll be your friend for life.

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iPhone 4 burns, hurts owner

Gordon is not a Moron
Coat

Must have been the users fault

as he wasn't holding it properly.

Mines the one with the Apple resistant coating

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Fanbois love sex toys: Official

Gordon is not a Moron
Flame

So it's offical then

Appletards are a bunch of tossers.

Well some had to say it.

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Blizzard exposes real names on WoW forums

Gordon is not a Moron
FAIL

I think the size of fail icon needs to be doubled

So is Annihilator your forname or surname?

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Most new 2009 EU powerplant was wind oops, gas

Gordon is not a Moron
Coat

Well look at the upside

"Utter uttter utter rubbish, usually circulated by anti-renewable bigots. Please don't repost this rubbish."

At least they are recyling thier rubbish and not producing any new rubbish.

Mines the one made from hemp.

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'Huge airships to carry freight starting 10 years from now'

Gordon is not a Moron
Go

They work, it's just a slightly harder landing when they break

How well they cope depends on what type of Ekranoplan it is

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ekranoplan.

Q : Anyway, how can something with *that* many engines be efficient? :)

A : By not using all of them

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Apple, AT&T slapped with iPhone 4 lawsuit

Gordon is not a Moron
Jobs Horns

Who says it can't be both?

Steve 1: We just got the first batch of iPhone 4's delivered.

Steve 2: Just a minor problem, they stop working when you pick them up. So we'll have to send them all back redesign the hardware and wait for new batch before sending them out to masses.

Steve 1: Hey look! I put this rubber band on the bottom and it started working again.

Steve 2: Quick, buy a shed load of rubber bands. If we put them in some nice packaging, call them er...

Steve 1: Bumpers?

Steve 2: yeah, bumpers. We can charge $20 a pop, think of the profit.

St. Steve: Well done my young acolytes. And as a reward you may each take one iPhone 4. But you'll have to buy your own bumpers.

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German arrested for Adolf Hitler ringtone

Gordon is not a Moron

The British invasion would have failed

In 1974 military commamders from both sides ran war games following the planned 1940 invasion of Britian (Operation Sealion). The war games came to the conclusion that whilst German troops would have landed, the supply lines would have within days forcing the invaders to surrender within a few weeks.

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Cash woes hold back National Insurance IT improvements

Gordon is not a Moron

definately won't get the money with comments like this

"the department will struggle to deliver on improvements to revenue collection and tackling tax evasion"

As tax evasion seems to the sport of choice for the friends of the nasty party, there's no way they'll get the funding.

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Cumbria massacre top cop also patrols cyberspace

Gordon is not a Moron

Quick somebody fire him...

it sounds like he has a clue about t'internet and tech stuff, so obviously the wrong man for the job.

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Loud sex ASBO woman spared jail again

Gordon is not a Moron
Coat

erm

"The Tyne and Wear woman who simply cannot put a sock in it while making the beast with two backs has been spared jail for a second time."

If she's putting a sock in it, then she's doing it wrong....

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Spoof beer ad mocks England footie flops

Gordon is not a Moron

Is there any chance

that the collective commentard community can engineer the up/down votes on the above post to be 4 - 1 ?

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BT boss brands Britain illiterate

Gordon is not a Moron
Headmaster

Nevermind English standards

Mike Rake needs a maths lesson, a quarter of 26000 is 6500 not 6000. But that 6000 is a nice round number there's fair chance that it's bee rounded for convience as "one fifth of applications unusable" doesn't seem as bad as the chosen figure.

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US energy-weapon project going well

Gordon is not a Moron
Grenade

And in other arms news...

China has just started mass production of mirror coated missiles and increased it's supply of smoke grenades to it's infantry.

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Laser-toting robots take over UK hospital

Gordon is not a Moron

I hope the reset button is ease to access

I mean who would want to be the poor sod trying fiddiling around to find the reset button on a tin can carrying medical waste?

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Apple not yet dominant enough for anti-trust action

Gordon is not a Moron

If they do probe over iAd

Then the net should go wider than just the iPlatform advertising. If you were looking at a choice between two online ad companies, one that covered 90% of the population and one that covered 100% with the extra 10% being technology magpies with more money than sense. Then using the company with 100% coverage makes more sense and will have an impact far wider than companies not being able to advertise inside a small walled garden.

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Aussies face 10 year browsing lock-up

Gordon is not a Moron

You forgot about phase II

where they make use of any tech that doesn't allow government snooping, as if you are hiding anything from the powers that be you are obviously a terrorist or a peado or maybe both.

Although you do have to admire the symetery of the whole thing, it'll turn a nation founded by convicts back into a nation of convicts.

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Ofcom refuses to bend over smut TV link-links

Gordon is not a Moron

@Chris Collins

I hope your therapist is on danger money.

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World Cup streaming to choke corporate networks, doomsayers predict

Gordon is not a Moron

A massive strain on corporate networks

which need lots of filtering kit, or plan B use a tv\projector in a meeting room\canteen and allow a little communal slacking off.

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CBI calls for other people to suffer cuts

Gordon is not a Moron

And in other news...

pigs vote for bigger trough.

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BP grabs 'oil spill' keywords on Google

Gordon is not a Moron
Happy

Don't just drive passed BP petrol stations..

use every search engine at your disposal and keep searching for "oil spill" if enough people do it, it should start eating into the marketing budget

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England win World Cup, says dried vulture brain

Gordon is not a Moron

So would

eating the dried brains of El Reg hacks work just as well?

Curses, no vulture icon.

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The World's best World Cup Calendar (maybe)

Gordon is not a Moron

So

if you a football fan and only use iToys then you're humped

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New laser raygun tech: Our sharks kick the tyres

Gordon is not a Moron
Terminator

Now if they were reallllly clever

they turn the heat energy back into power to help keep the ray gun firing, and make the whole thing relatively efficent.

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Wikileaks' US army 'leaker' arrested

Gordon is not a Moron

I'd have done the same thing as Lamo

Not reporting serious criminal actions can land you in a whole world of hurt. As Manning was in the process if outing himself as the leaker it would of lead to the inevitable FBI etc investigations and the e-mail trail to your front door, at which point you are looking at being charged as being an accomplace to offences that carry some serious jail time. If Manning was being incredibly stupid by exposing himself as the leaker, then it's his ship if he wants to go down with it fine, but I'm not going with him.

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Vince Cable: Feel my mighty SME love

Gordon is not a Moron
Alert

From the desk of Vince Cable

Dear Banks,

a few years ago you all lent far too much money to far too many people creating an unsustainable debt fuelled ecomony which brought the global economy to it's knees. This was bad and you should sit on the naughty step for a very long time, and stop doing all the things that brought about the financial crisis, like loaning out too much cash.

Also whilst you being more fiscally prudent with all of the money we handed over to stop the collapse of the world economy, could you loan more money to people and business.... oh, wait!

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Coming soon: Live Vulture 1 GPS tracking test

Gordon is not a Moron

Classified airborne-ness

strapping it to under carrage of a real Vulture would seem appropriate

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Oz government in filter paranoia meltdown

Gordon is not a Moron

not a fruitcake

more like nutty as squirrel shit

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Halting McKinnon extradition not in our power, says Clegg

Gordon is not a Moron
Headmaster

re Penguin's

I don't know if it applies to all breeds of penguin, but there are at least some that push a "friend" in first to let them check for predators by being lunch. If thier feathered friend survies a bit then they go join them.

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Statistics prof nails Blackpool hoopla scam

Gordon is not a Moron

Whilst I hate to go all Daily Mail

but if I mugged\ demand money with menaces from teenage girls and doctors I'd expect more than a suspended sentence and a bit of light community service. So either a good defence lawyer or a lousy magistrate.

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Copernicus reburied with full Catholic honours

Gordon is not a Moron

Six planets is acurate

as by the time Copernicus shed his mortal coil, neither Uranus, Neptune or Pluto had be discovered or re-classified.

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IBM hands out malware-stuffed USB at security conference

Gordon is not a Moron
Headmaster

No

but AJ did miss a space, "Fail! Fail!" not "Fail!Fail!"

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